Master Apprentice  Archive |
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He arrived at the Council chambers a few minutes early, but hesitated to go in. The guard looked at him curiously, but Obi-Wan wasn't quite ready to face Qui-Gon. He could sense the man's presence on the other side of the door and feared this might be the last time they spoke. And meeting here, at the heart of all things Jedi, told Obi-Wan that this was serious indeed.
The guard watched him as he paced and seemed relieved when the young Jedi finally signaled to let him in. Obi-Wan stepped through the manual double doors into the awesome round space of the Council. The room never failed to impress him and send his nerve endings prickling. But unlike other visits, today the room was quiet and empty, save for one very recognizable figure at the far window---Qui-Gon Jinn. The Jedi master was looking onto the busy air traffic of Galactic City, his hands clasped behind his back and the yellow brightness of the new day silhouetting him. He was the most beautiful thing Obi-Wan had ever seen.
He stood at the center of the chamber waiting for Qui-Gon to greet him. Perhaps he should've said something first, but then the serenity of this moment would be broken. Once the interview began, Obi-Wan surmised that he would be quickly dismissed... permanently. With thousands of Jedi coming and going from the Temple it would be a fairly simple task for Qui-Gon to avoid seeing him from now on. The thought sent a shiver up Obi-Wan's spine. He had begun to crave
Qui-Gon's presence.
At last, the Jedi master turned to meet his eyes. Obi-Wan was as beautiful as he remembered and he wanted to rush to him and take him in his arms. The pull to be with Obi-Wan unnerved him by its constant demand. There was no reason why a master of the Force and someone with as much life under his belt as Qui-Gon could not control this urge. He wasn't a padawan anymore. This infatuation had to end... now.
"Is it 11th hour already?" Qui-Gon asked, feeling the dread of the appointment he had made.
"Yes, it is. You wanted to speak with me?" the young knight asked, folding his hands into the sleeves of his robe to conceal his nervousness. Standing at the center of the room reminded Obi-Wan of the times he had given reports to the Council, but there the comparison stopped. This was like no summons he had ever received.
"I'm sure you know why," Qui-Gon said, as he moved to stand in front of the ring of Council chairs.
Obi-Wan didn't like the sound of Qui-Gon's voice. It had a heaviness that was uncharacteristic of what he knew of the master. "I don't know what to say to you, Master Jinn. I truly felt driven by the Force to..."
Qui-Gon held up his hand. He had to be firm. "I don't want to hear it. You've already apologized once, a second time for the same offense would only be a mockery."
Offense? He thought the kisses an offense? Obi-Wan flushed. "But I'm not sorry for kissing you."
"Then your apology was not sincere?"
"I apologized because I did not want to lose your friendship. But I still can't explain my actions... I'm not trying to hurt you or Aleki." There were tears forming at the corners of his eyes and he gritted his teeth against revealing his turmoil. "I'm finding it very hard to resist you."
With that admission, Obi-Wan dropped to his knees, humbling himself before the man he now realized he desperately needed. How could he go on without Qui-Gon? How had he even lasted this long without the man at his side? He raised his eyes, pleading with the master Jedi who stood meters away... out of reach.
"Are you accusing me of trying to seduce you, Knight?" Qui-Gon asked as he stepped forward, mesmerized by the knight's humility.
"No, Master. Of course not," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head. Tears fell down his cheeks. He was in pain. He felt physically and spiritually torn between two lives; the one he had with Aleki and the one he needed with Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon came closer still. The emotional release that the young man was experiencing was oddly erotic. He instinctively put his hands on Obi-Wan head and shoulder to comfort him. A wave of pleasure rippled through his fingers, palms, wrists, and arms, simply from the touch. The shoulder length golden hair was soft, and Obi-Wan's sobs irresistible.
"It will be all right, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said softly in consolation. It tore at him to see Obi-Wan suffering.
The closeness of Qui-Gon and his own pain was too much and Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around the older Jedi's legs, pulling him close. The scent of the man quickly filled his nostrils and he nuzzled his stomach, staining the master's tunic with his continuing tears.
Can't be without him, Obi-Wan thought as his whole body ached for this contact and more.
Qui-Gon moaned at the sensation of Obi-Wan's warm breath near his groin. Even through his clothes the desperate gasps of the young man sent his body aflame. But someone had to be reasonable here. Obviously this attraction was powerful, but it was also wrong.
"This is not helping the situation," Qui-Gon said finally, and gently pulled Obi-Wan's arms from his legs. "I think it would be best if we didn't see each other again."
"No!" Obi-Wan shouted as if his life had just been threatened.
The sudden outburst sent Qui-Gon's heart pounding. "It is for the best, Obi-Wan. You must see that."
The knight was shaking his head continuously now. "No, I must see you. I must be with you." As far as Obi-Wan was concerned he had no choice in the matter. He had to be with Qui-Gon. He moved forward, still on his knees, to be close to Qui-Gon again, but the Jedi master stepped back.
"This cannot happen," Qui-Gon said, despite his own needs.
Obi-Wan was relentless, crazed, lowering himself to his hands and knees and crawling toward Qui-Gon. He pushed Qui-Gon back until he stumbled into a chair and was forcibly seated. With determination in his eyes, Obi-Wan moved between Qui-Gon's legs, letting his hands run up the muscled thighs, over the broad chest, until they finally rested on the man's face.
"I can see it. The Force. It's here. It surrounds us," Obi-Wan said as he cupped the other Jedi's face with his hands.
Qui-Gon couldn't speak. He looked into those pained and beautiful blue-green eyes and was enraptured. The young man was kneeling before him in worship. How could he resist when this was what he wanted as well? This attraction was not rational, but it was strong and Qui-Gon truly had no will to deny it. He consented by simply leaning down and Obi-Wan met him with a wild, hungry mouth, pressing their lips together hard.
When they pulled back for breath finally, Obi-Wan voiced his renewed determination. "I want you, Qui-Gon. I will have you." And his hands were on the older man, moving under his robe, searching desperately for skin, but finding only layers of tunics.
Obi-Wan's words were like a promise and the sound of Qui-Gon's name spilling wantonly from the young man's lips set the Jedi master's body burning with desire. He was being swept away and he let it happen, in fact, aided Obi-Wan in his quest by loosening his pants. The knight reached in and grabbed his wanting cock.
"You want me, too," Obi-Wan breathed heavily, and then swallowed the hard length, sending a dizzying wave of emotion through the master.
"Yessss," Qui-Gon moaned, and let his head fall back and his eyes close in ecstasy as that mouth devoured him. All thoughts of the rightness or wrongness of this encounter and the others vanished.... including any propriety of doing this in the Council chambers.
Obi-Wan moaned hungrily as he sucked and licked and pulled at Qui-Gon's hardened member. It was the most delicious hedonistic moment of his life, and he wanted it to continue indefinitely, but his new lover would not last much longer. Qui-Gon was digging his fingers into Obi-Wan's shoulders urgently, signaling his imminent climax. Then, with a low cry of abandon, he came, spurting forcefully into the young knight's mouth, wanting desperately to fill him fully with his seed, to claim his mouth, claim every part of him.
Time had slipped away. When Qui-Gon regained full consciousness he found Obi-Wan still kneeling before him with his head lying sleepily in his lap. He shook the young man gently. Obi-Wan opened his eyes and smiled. He sat back on his heels and licked his lips, reminding Qui-Gon of the intimacy they had just shared, and that a part of him now flowed inside the young man's body. Qui-Gon shivered at the intense nature of their relationship.
"Obi-Wan," he said, in a mix of dismay and fondness. Was there any way to explain what was happening to them? But there was no time for discussion now as Qui-Gon sensed someone approaching the chambers. He pushed Obi-Wan back, gently and stood, quickly refastening his leggings and smoothing his tunics. Without a word, Obi-Wan understood, and removed himself to the center of the chambers where he pulled his robe around him and slid his arms inside his sleeves to stand in attentive Jedi posture.
Mace Windu entered the room. "Master Jinn? Knight Kenobi? I did not realize the chambers were in use," Mace said, his eyes darting between the two men. "The Council is meeting shortly, but I can wait outside until..."
"We are finished," Qui-Gon said in his standard calm voice. "Knight Kenobi," he looked at Obi-Wan, "I would like to continue this discussion later."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said and bowed deeply, concealing the thrill he felt at those words. He bowed to Mace and then left the room.
Mace carefully watched the knight leave. "What was that about?" he asked.
"Since when is it against the Code for two Jedi to have a conversation?"
"Since one of those Jedi is bonded and the other is on the Council and has the hots for him," Mace said, matter-of-factly, the scent of sex unmistakable in the air.
"You're out of line, Mace."
"Am I? We've been friends a long time, Qui-Gon. You're in love with him."
"I just met him," Qui-Gon said, trying to deflect the observation without having to lie.
"True, but there has been an intensity surrounding both of you since you met."
"Yes," Qui-Gon admitted. "I'm not sure what to make of it."
"You should not make anything of it. He is a working knight and in a strong bonded relationship. You should stop now... whatever it is you're doing."
Qui-Gon raised his eyebrow at Mace about to retort when the other Council members began to enter the room for their meeting.
Nearly three hours later, the Council adjourned and Qui-Gon returned to his quarters. He barely had time to remove his robe when the door annunciator chimed. He knew who was on the other side; he could feel his presence as if it was his own.
"Obi-Wan. You followed me," he said calmly and stepped aside to let the hooded knight enter.
"I couldn't wait to see you again," Obi-Wan said, pulling the down the hood to reveal his handsome features.
"Purposefully concealing yourself from and following another Jedi is an offense to the Order."
"But I did not conceal myself from you," the younger man pointed out. Though he had kept to the shadows he had not dimmed his Force presence. He knew Qui-Gon must have felt his closeness the entire time.
"That's right," Qui-Gon said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Then what do you want?"
"You know what I want... Please, don't play games with me, Master. I want to make love to you." Obi-Wan reached out his hand to touch the other man, but Qui-Gon stepped back. "What's wrong? You were receptive..."
"Yes, I was receptive to you, but is this just about sex, Knight Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan took note of the use of his honorific by the man who seemed so eager to call him by his given name. "No, of course it's not just about sex," he said, still trying to understand the nature of the attraction himself. And now it seemed as if Qui-Gon was having regrets. He swallowed hard. "You're unhappy about what happened?"
"It's not that... but why is it every time we are alone there is a physical encounter between us?"
"Because we're drawn to each other. The Force is speaking to us..."
"And is it telling you to betray your bondmate?"
The young man's eyes looked down ashamed of the consequences for Aleki. "I don't want to hurt him..." He looked up again, his eyes more intensely blue than they had been a moment ago. "I don't feel as if I have a choice."
"There's always a choice, Obi-Wan."
Now Obi-Wan was growing impatient. In the three hours he had waited for Qui-Gon to be released from that blasted Council meeting, he had imagined all the things he wanted to do to him, all the places he longed to kiss him, all the positions he longed to take him in... And now he was being reminded of his bondmate. He ached inside for Qui-Gon and for his guilt of betraying Aleki, but what was to be done?
"If you want me to leave," Obi-Wan said, bowing his head, "I'll go." // Please, don't ask me to leave.//
Qui-Gon stepped forward. "What did you say?"
"I'll go if you ask me to..."
"No, after that," Qui-Gon said, sure he'd heard Obi-Wan deep within him. Like a voice inside his head.
"I didn't say anything else," Obi-Wan said, his heart breaking as he turned to leave.
"No, but you thought it," Qui-Gon said, putting his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder to stop him from leaving just yet. "You don't want me to ask you to leave. And I won't, Obi-Wan." // I'll never ask you to leave.//
The knight's eyes widened as he turned back to face Qui-Gon again. "I heard that... I heard your thoughts. And you heard mine? How is that possible?"
"Perhaps that is something we should discuss." Qui-Gon gestured for Obi-Wan to sit with him on the couch. "This attraction seems to go beyond the physical," Qui-Gon began as they sat next to each other, but not touching.
To Obi-Wan's dismay, Qui-Gon was serious about talking. It was just like a Jedi master to analyze things completely before proceeding. And even though Obi-Wan was hornier than he'd been in a long time... even than while Aleki was gone... he was happy to just talk with Qui-Gon. Just being in the man's presence brought him great joy and peace, more than he had ever known possible.
The chrono marked the 18th hour and Obi-Wan was late for dinner. Aleki was sitting in a plush chair with his arms folded on his chest. He did not look happy.
"Am I that late?" Obi-Wan asked as he threw his robe on the couch.
"Where were you?" Aleki asked in a flat, simmering tone.
Obi-Wan hesitated. "I was speaking with Master Jinn. We discussed my mission to
Tatooine last year..." Which was actually true.
"Oh, just save it, Obi-Wan. You don't expect me to believe that a member of the Council actually wanted to talk to you for over four hours about some ridiculous little mission."
Obi-Wan's face constricted with questions and fear. He couldn't understand why Aleki was acting like this.
"I know exactly where you've been all day. I had two Initiates follow you."
"You did what?"
"Yes, you twit. You were so busy basking in the rays of Qui-Gon Jinn that you didn't even notice. Some Jedi you are!"
"Why were you having me followed?"
"Because I needed to expose you for what you are."
"And what is that?"
"A hateful, two-timing slug!" Aleki's arms were fiercely tight around his chest now, and tears were falling down his cheeks though he was fighting to hold them back. "I saw you last night. I saw you kiss him, Obi. How could you?"
Obi-Wan reeled at Aleki's discovery. He moved closer, wanting desperately to hold his lover and tell him everything would be all right. But he had no more than taken two steps, when the younger man waved his hand and a candlestick went sailing straight for Obi-Wan's head. The knight ducked, and then realized more projectiles were coming his way... pillows, dishes, the beaded vase they had purchased in an Alderaanian market to celebrate their bonding.
"Aleki, stop! Release your anger to the Force."
Direction from Obi-Wan was the last thing Aleki wanted now. But he did stop hurling objects at his lover long enough to reveal more of his hurt. "You were to forsake all others! And then I see you initiating that kiss! I can hardly blame that old rancor for wanting it. Who wouldn't want it from you? I don't think there's a Jedi in the Temple who hasn't imagined fucking Obi-Wan Kenobi!"
"You don't know what you're saying..."
"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME ANYTHING!" Aleki screamed. Then as if the sound of his own anger had terrified him, he quieted. "Why him, Obi? Why that old relic?"
"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me," Obi-Wan said almost in a whisper. He was through denying what was happening... as much as it would hurt his bondmate.
Aleki shook his head. "Get out. I don't want you here."
"But this is my home. Our home."
"You should've thought of that before you started fucking Jinn."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth to protest, but Aleki would not have heard a word. He picked up his robe and walked out into the main corridor. The sound of the door sliding closed behind him sent a chill through his body. He wanted to turn back and scream some sense into Aleki, but he knew he had a lot of his own thinking to do before he could expect his bondmate to listen.
Qui-Gon Jinn and Mace Windu were enjoying a leisurely walk in the gardens after dinner when they spotted Obi-Wan in the distance. He was meditating in Qui-Gon's favorite place--- the canopied alcove by the pond.
Mace looked to Qui-Gon. "Have you ended it yet?"
"Ended what? I don't even know what's happening between us."
"What do you mean?"
"There is definitely an attraction, but I cannot determine how or why. And it certainly can't continue since he's already bonded."
"Good thinking, Qui-Gon. Coming between a bonded pair could get you kicked off the Council."
"And that would be a bad thing?" Qui-Gon grinned mischievously.
Mace grinned back, and then bowed a goodnight before retreating to allow Qui-Gon to speak with the young knight. He sent a wave of comfort to his friend hoping he would resolve this attraction soon.
Qui-Gon approached Obi-Wan with the stealth only a Jedi master could produce under these circumstances. The young man had removed his robe and was sitting in lotus position on the mossy ground; his hands resting lightly on his legs, palms upward. Qui-Gon was entranced by the pleasant _expression on the young man's face. His eyes were closed and there was a slight smile on his lips. He seemed content in this meditation.
Suddenly, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and looked up at his observer. "Master Jinn," he bowed his head.
"What made you choose this place to meditate?"
"I felt your presence here. It comforted me. And in my meditation I imagined what my life would've been like had you taken me as your apprentice."
Qui-Gon rested his hands on his hips and tried to pretend that the idea had not crossed his mind as well. "Master Mulan was a good teacher to you, Obi-Wan."
"My Master was a fine negotiator and a kind man, and where his skills lacked he paired me with masters who could tutor me-- as in saber techniques."
"Your saber skills are admirable. Perhaps, if time permits, we could spar. I'm sure the experience would benefit me."
"Me? Teach you, Master?"
"Is it so hard to believe that a master could learn from a knight? Or even from an apprentice?"
Obi-Wan considered this. It did seem hard to believe. But if Qui-Gon thought it was true, then he would agree. "I would be honored to spar with you," he bowed slightly.
Obi-Wan brought himself out of his meditative posture and moved to sit on a large rock next to the pond. Qui-Gon joined him, but not too close.
"You were not in the dining hall for the evening meal," Qui-Gon said, gently.
Obi-Wan lowered his eyes. "Was... Aleki there?"
"Yes. That is what made your absence so profound."
"He does not wish to see me anymore," he began, and then looked into the blue depths of Qui-Gon's eyes. "He thinks we are..."
// Lovers.//
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, and allowed the mental speak to penetrate his mind. // More.//
"More, Obi-Wan? What is that you want... exactly?"
"We spoke for hours... you know what I want. Or do you want me to lie?"
"No, I want the truth and I want to understand," Qui-Gon said, frankly.
// Then speak to me here... in my mind. This is the truth.//
// A bond? Is that what truth lies here?//
// Yes,// Obi-Wan said, sighing at the mental caress. // Your voice inside me completes me.//
"Then you feel it too?" // This connection... this touch of souls,// Qui-Gon sent, becoming caught up in their attraction again.
By now, their eyes were locked on each other. Each absorbing the beauty of the other.
// I want you in mind and in body,// Obi-Wan said. // I want to know all of you at once.//
// You want me to make love to you?// Qui-Gon asked, almost disbelieving what the young man was offering.
// Yes!//
Qui-Gon's hesitation was only slight before he stood and held out his hand. "I don't care about the consequences. I'm taking you back to my quarters."
Obi-Wan put his hand in the larger man's and stood. "More talking?"
Qui-Gon grinned. "Now who has the sense of humor?"
Back in the Jedi master's quarters they stood face to face in the common room. No one spoke. No one touched. They just looked deep into each other's eyes. At first, Obi-Wan thought this was a test of his resolve. Qui-Gon had asked him if their attraction was just about sex and he had vehemently denied it. So now was he being made to wait... to tremble with the need to touch, but not to act on it... to prove his declaration? But Qui-Gon had made no demands of him. They had both merely frozen in the presence of each other once they had shed their robes. It was a moment of recognition.
"I know once I touch you there's no turning back," Obi-Wan said, finally, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides.
"Would you want to turn back?" Qui-Gon asked.
"No. I feel as if my life has been building to this moment... and yet I feel as if we were meant to be together all along."
"You mean, you should've been my apprentice?"
"Yes, Master. I know we never met, but it should've been."
"But then would we have ended up as lovers?"
Obi-Wan grinned. "You would've been my first... and last."
With those words, Qui-Gon stepped forward and took Obi-Wan into his arms and into his heart. Their mouths were on each other in a fierce, hungry kiss. As their mouths explored each other's faces and necks, their hands worked quickly to remove all the layers of Jedi clothing. Each piece, one by one, fell to the floor. Soon they were divested of their tunics and the new sensation of bare skin sent fire through fingertips and lips.
Qui-Gon pulled back to look at his young lover. He breathed deeply in the view of the passionate eyes that were raking over his body as well. // So beautiful, Obi-Wan.//
He took Obi-Wan by the hand and led him into his bedroom. At the foot of the bed they stood and embraced and began to kiss again. Qui-Gon gently pushed Obi-Wan down onto the edge of the bed. He knelt before him and removed his boots and socks. Then his hands caressed and massaged the young man's feet, and Obi-Wan moaned with the pleasure. The erotic sound driving Qui-Gon to begin removing the rest of his own clothes.
As he watched Qui-Gon, strip out of his pants, Obi-Wan wriggled out of his and sprawled across the bed. // I want you, Qui-Gon.//
The older man got onto the bed and crawled his way up his lover's naked body. Their lips met again, more gently this time. Lightly teasing, biting at each other. Now that they were fully exposed to each other their actions turned to the intense prospect of lovemaking.
"Are you sure, Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, I must have you," the knight said, through heavy, aroused breaths.
Qui-Gon had stayed carefully separated from the young man, his body looming over him, only their lips touching. And then, their erections met, bumping promisingly against each other, and Obi-Wan groaned with pleasure.
"Now. I need you now," Obi-Wan said, wrapping his legs around Qui-Gon's thighs.
"If we do this I will want you forever," Qui-Gon breathed into Obi-Wan's ear.
// Yes, yours forever,// Obi-Wan sent into his mind.
The older man shuddered with the feel of him in his mind and under his body. He let nearly his full weight drop onto him and kissed him again, the knight's lips like a sweet life giving drink and he a parched and weary traveler.
// Where have you been all my life, Obi-Wan?//
// Here, Qui-Gon. Here, waiting.//
Qui-Gon moved his hands along the young man's body. Learning its softness, its musculature, its beauty. He was trembling in awe of their imminent joining, and thanking the Force for bringing them together. There was no other explanation for this attraction. He had never been so out of control and so in love with anyone in his whole life.
Obi-Wan allowed the weight of the larger man to encompass him. He had been with
Aleki for so long that he had forgotten the tantalizing pleasure of new love. But it was more than that. Even when he and Aleki's bond had been new he had never felt this complete, this safe, this one with the Force. And the sensation of this large man on top of him was incredible. He liked feeling pinned, and a little overpowered by the other man's passion and size.
Now Qui-Gon had his large, callused hand on Obi-Wan's erection and was stroking it. Obi-Wan squirmed slightly under him and moaned greedily for more. He could've been pinched purple and still would've found it erotic, but to have Qui-Gon moving on him so intimately was almost more than his senses could take.
"Please... inside me," Obi-Wan moaned aloud. Again, a new desire for him. With Aleki, he was almost always the penetrator. That seemed odd to him now, but in the past he had never questioned it.
The rhythm of Qui-Gon's hand slowed as he reached into a bedside drawer with his other hand for scented oil. Then his motion stopped completely to pour the oil onto his hands and rub them to warm the lubricant. He leaned back on his heels and paused to absorb the beauty of the young man who lay before him. Obi-Wan's eyes were half-closed in desire, and his skin glowed silvery from the Coruscant night and the sweet sheen of their lovemaking. He licked and chewed on his bottom lip in anticipation of Qui-Gon's next touch.
The older Jedi knew this joining would not be ordinary. In fact, he knew it would change his life. Over the years, he had been fortunate to experience love in its many incarnations. But never had he felt it command him in such a profound and soul-touching way. In this moment he realized that Obi-Wan was the other half of his soul, that part of him that had been missing all of his life. And this was something of a homecoming for them both.
Qui-Gon's hesitation at first delighted Obi-Wan, who writhed on the bed and spread his legs further, bucking his hips up, in invitation to his new lover. But as Qui-Gon's gaze grew deeper and lingered, he became concerned that the man was having second thoughts. That maybe the Jedi master had reconsidered this union.
Obi-Wan drew himself up on his elbows. Worry evident on his face. "What is it?"
Qui-Gon allowed a small grin to light his face. "You are so beautiful."
Tears were forming in Qui-Gon's eyes and Obi-Wan began to panic. He wanted this joining more than anything. He believed in its rightness. He longed to be with Qui-Gon forever. But if the Jedi master had second thoughts, it would crush him. Tear his soul clean out of his body.
"Please, Qui-Gon. You have my heart and mind, now take my body."
The plea tugged at Qui-Gon's heart and he leaned down to kiss his lover. "Beautiful," he whispered into Obi-Wan's ear and then his hands returned to Obi-Wan's body.
The young man lay back on the bed and arched into the long caress of hands covered in oil, smoothing over him. Those large, exploring hands finally settled on the knight's inner thighs, massaging them tenderly.
"It's been a long time," Qui-Gon admitted with a smile. It had been nearly three years since his last lover, and that relationship had been only a brief affair while on a mission.
For Obi-Wan it had not been very long at all. He had made love to Aleki less than 24 hours earlier. He tried to push down his growing guilt. Did he really know what he was doing here? Lying in another man's bed... a man who he had just met. But it felt so good, so right. And he had never acted so impulsively before. He quickly assured himself that this was not some childish lust.
// This is real. This is love,// he sent to Qui-Gon.
The older man's hands paused and his eyes connected with his lover's. // Yes, it is love.// "I love you, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, and a tear fell down his cheek. He swallowed the wave of love and warmth that Qui-Gon was sending him. When he opened his eyes again he was shivering slightly under his lover's intense gaze. "And I love you, Qui-Gon. Please remember that... no matter what happens."
Qui-Gon's brow tightened. That sounded a bit ominous, but they were on the verge of having the most incredible sex of their lives, and the Force was guiding their union. At this point, it would have taken two much stronger-willed Jedi to resist the urge to join their bodies and minds together.
Qui-Gon held himself up on his hands, keeping his full weight off the smaller man, making his lover reach off the bed for their lips to meet again and again. Their mouths sometimes barely touching as their hips thrust, rubbing their aching erections together. Finally, Qui-Gon leaned to one side and slid his hand down the younger man's chest, over his flat stomach, and to his inner thigh until it reached its mark. His finger rubbed gently at the opening and his young lover moaned. They looked into each other's eyes as his finger slid inside. Obi-Wan arched with the pleasure. The finger moved in and out, sending spasms of rapture through him, and soon it was joined by a second, and a third in preparation.
"Please..." he panted, rocking on the fingers. "I need your cock inside me, now..."
The fingers withdrew almost immediately. More oil, this time poured generously onto Qui-Gon's erection. Obi-Wan looked hungrily at the hardened shaft, wavering between wanting to suck on it like a Corellian candy stick, and needing it thrusting inside him.
The latter won out, but first he grabbed Qui-Gon's hand and pulled one of the fingers that had been inside him into his mouth. He sucked on it and wrapped his tongue around it. Qui-Gon shuddered at the display and then positioned himself between Obi-Wan's legs and pressed his sex to the readied opening.
"Forever, Obi-Wan."
"Yes, forever."
And then with a firm push forward, the crown of Qui-Gon's cock was inside. They both gasped at the new sensation, and then with slow, tiny thrusts in and out, the long shaft drove infinitesimally deeper into the tight heat of Obi-Wan's body. The young knight threw his head back, arching his neck as his legs fell open wider to allow further penetration for his lover's very large shaft. He couldn't remember ever taking anyone so large inside him before.
He squirmed forward under Qui-Gon, until his hands could firmly grasp the older man's buttocks. His fingers massaged and cupped the ass as his lover continued the journey to complete their joining. His breathing was heavy, and sweat began to bead off his stomach as his need to take Qui-Gon completely overwhelmed him.
"Yes," Obi-Wan moaned, and without warning, he gripped Qui-Gon's firm bottom and thrust it towards him, forcing his lover's cock completely inside him.
They each screamed out their pleasure, and Obi-Wan a little pain. But the satisfaction of being so completely filled by this man made the pain inconsequential.
There could be no hesitation in their lovemaking now. Their bodies were completely joined, and with a small delay to allow Obi-Wan to adjust to the size of the cock inside him, they began to move. At first gentle, almost reverent thrusts, but soon faster, harder, deeper thrusts to satiate their desires. As Qui-Gon pounded into Obi-Wan, their bodies became sweat-slicked, increasing the speed and intensity of their lovemaking. Qui-Gon drove into the younger Jedi relentlessly, moving harder and faster as the young man's pleasure became more vocal.
"Yes, more... love you... inside me," Obi-Wan groaned out. His hands were moving over Qui-Gon's back, and finally, again, settled on the man's behind, helping him to drive harder and deeper inside him.
Obi-Wan could feel his orgasm building rapidly, and wanted desperately for he and Qui-Gon to come together. "Yes... come with me... NOW!" And then a possessive, raw scream came from the young man's throat as he wrapped his legs tightly around Qui-Gon's hips, and his orgasm erupted a milli-second before his lover's.
Any Jedi in the adjoining quarters had their evening interrupted when Qui-Gon joined his lover's pleasured scream. The animalistic sound reverberated through the room and beyond. They ground deeper, harder, and more slowly several times until they were both spent. Qui-Gon let his body fall onto Obi-Wan's. They lay entwined and joined until both their erections subsided and Qui-Gon withdrew.
Falling asleep in another's arms had never been more satisfying, and they drank of the pleasure for several hours before waking to Obi-Wan's growling stomach.
"I forgot I hadn't eaten," he said, a little embarrassed.
"Let me feed you," Qui-Gon smiled playfully.
He got up from the bed and feeling his lover's eyes on him turned to fully display himself. Obi-Wan breathed deeply at the sight of this magnificent man and the scent of their recent lovemaking. It was really his first chance to leisurely admire Qui-Gon's body.
"For a member of the Council you are in extraordinary shape."
"I've maintained my training as though I might be sent back into the field at any moment."
"It's paid off nicely," Obi-Wan grinned.
"Thank you. Now let me find you something to eat."
"Oh, you've got plenty for me to eat," the young knight grinned again, boldly raking his eyes over Qui-Gon's hardening penis.
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow in playful protest, though his interest had been peaked. "Let's concentrate on food for a moment, shall we?" He found himself laughing silently at the young man's sexual hunger. He had never had a lover so much younger than himself, and he was looking forward to all it would offer.
In several minutes he returned with a platter of sliced fruit and cheese. Obi-Wan was sitting up on the bed with his back leaning against the headboard and his body shamelessly exposed. Just the mere presence of Qui-Gon in the room sent a tendril of desire to his groin and he too began to harden.
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at his lover's eagerness and sat next to Obi-Wan with the platter conveniently between them. "I promise, after you eat this, you can have me for dessert," he found himself saying, a little to his own surprise.
The young knight's eyes lit with desire. "Oh, I assure you, I'll finish both courses and then some."
Obi-Wan reached for some fruit, but Qui-Gon grabbed him by the wrist. "Please, allow me," he grinned.
He took the sweet fruit and raised it to the young man's lips. Obi-Wan let his tongue dart out to play with the fruit teasingly, and then let Qui-Gon drop it into his mouth. He chewed it with eyes closed, wanting to savor every sensation Qui-Gon brought to him.
"At this rate you won't be having dessert until tomorrow morning," Qui-Gon laughed.
Obi-Wan laughed as well. "Then you'll just have to help me."
The two proceeded to feed each other. When the last morsel was eaten Obi-Wan set the platter aside and leaned into Qui-Gon. "Nice appetizer, but now I want the main course." He kissed Qui-Gon playfully, longingly and then pushed him back onto the bed, straddling him.
"But I thought I was dessert," Qui-Gon joked back.
"Entree, dessert... you're everything," Obi-Wan growled, while moving his hands down the larger man's flank.
The heat was growing nicely between them again, and within minutes they were breathing heavily, grinding against each other's erections. Their desire was wonderfully endless, each kiss, each touch, each caress deepening the bond they were forging. Obi-Wan licked his way down to the engorged penis that was waiting for him. Qui-Gon shuddered as his tongue licked away the pre-cum at the tip of his cock.
"Please... Obi-Wan, don't tease me."
The young man smiled and rubbed his cheek on the hardened shaft. "You want to fuck me again, don't you?"
"Any objection?"
"No. But I want to be on top this time," and with a long lick of the shaft, Obi-Wan sat himself on Qui-Gon's lap. The larger man's penis nestled happily underneath him.
Qui-Gon waited patiently. He would let Obi-Wan control this lovemaking. Not that he had totally controlled it the first time, but he had been on top and that did have its advantages.
Obi-Wan moved back a few inches, allowing their erections to stand and rub each other. He reached for the oil on the bed stand. "You'll need to get more of this," he said looking with hungry eyes at the Jedi master.
"Oh, believe me, it's at the top of my shopping list."
And with an insatiable appetite, Obi-Wan poured the oil on his lover's cock, and stroked it firmly, coaxing Qui-Gon's erection to an even greater diameter.
"Force, you're a big man."
"Is that a complaint?"
"Definitely not," he grinned, and ever so sensually moved forward and placed the waiting cock at his opening.
He bent over for one more kiss and then slowly, sat back, impaling himself on Qui-Gon's cock. "Yessss," he hissed, his head falling back and the soft copper highlights of his hair caressing his shoulders.
He moved up and down on the hardness, delighting in every sensation. From the fullness of having Qui-Gon inside him to the sexual hunger it gave him to withdraw almost completely. He never knew being penetrated could be so satisfying, and if it had been physically possible, he would have liked to stay joined in this way for days... weeks.
The intimacy they had created with their minds was now fulfilled by their bodies. And with each lovemaking, each moment together, each new and deeper thrust, they both could feel their bond growing brighter and stronger. And yet there was one impediment. As they moved in and on each other, their glistening, trembling bodies working together to create a mutually satisfying rhythm, Obi-Wan felt a tug in his mind. He shrugged it away like an annoying buzz in his ear and slid faster on Qui-Gon's cock, his hands pressed to the man's stomach for balance. He concentrated on how much he loved this man and how it felt being so completely taken by him.
"So good," Qui-Gon moaned, thrusting his hips up harder, touching just the right spot inside his lover and sending a jolt of pleasure through him.
"Yes!" Obi-Wan cried out. "Qui-Gon, yes!" and he came, spurting his seed over their moving bodies.
Seeing and hearing his lover's orgasm, Qui-Gon came easily, thrusting up again and again, joining and heightening the pleasure. "Obi-Wan!"
Even as their orgasms began to fade, they still rocked and moved on each other, the sensation of their bodies joined creating the greatest physical pleasure either had ever experienced. And then, Obi-Wan felt that mental nudge again. Something or someone was pulling him out of this moment and away from Qui-Gon... toward... Aleki. There was a whispering sensation along that bond. A whisper that was growing more clear as the seconds passed, and the orgasm ended. The bond was sending strong feelings to him. Aleki was heartbroken.
Obi-Wan fell forward onto Qui-Gon as if he had been knocked down. He was exhausted from their lovemaking and shaken from the intrusion and pain of his other lover. He began to shiver with the feeling of Aleki's sobs along their bond.
Qui-Gon caressed Obi-Wan's back. "Are you all right?" Obi-Wan did not respond in words, but Qui-Gon could feel his lover's tears splashing warmly on his shoulder. "You're crying. What's wrong?"
Obi-Wan wiped at the tears. "It's Aleki. He's crying."
Qui-Gon blinked. Of course, Obi-Wan was still strongly connected to Knight Runalt. Through their pairbond the young man had been unfortunately aware of their lovemaking.
"Do you want to go to him?" Qui-Gon asked hesitantly.
Obi-Wan wiped away more tears, and leaned up on his elbows to look at Qui-Gon. "No. He made it clear he doesn't want to see me."
"But he was angry when he said that."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. I won't leave you. Not now. Not ever."
Qui-Gon's heart was full with this reassurance, and yet he knew it would take more than Obi-Wan's own conviction to truly break the bond with Aleki. If he truly desired to complete his bond with Qui-Gon, that is what he'd have to do.
Qui-Gon rolled Obi-Wan onto the bed and then into his arms. He caressed his lover's long sandy blond hair, admiring the warm highlights. He had fallen so quickly in love with this man. It was a bit unnerving, and yet so right. "If you were mine, I would always treasure you, Obi-Wan."
The younger man turned his head to look up into those fabulously blue eyes. "But I am yours. Somehow I've always been yours."
The Jedi master grinned warmly. "Now, surely you're exaggerating. We've only just met."
Obi-Wan pulled out of the embrace and sat up. "I want to tell you something... about my search, my longing."
Qui-Gon nodded for Obi-Wan to continue.
"Since I was a very young Initiate, I dreamed a great knight would be my teacher."
"Of course, all children at the Temple have this dream."
Obi-Wan shook his head. "No... Master Mulan was not that knight. Please don't think me ungrateful. My master was a good man, but he was not my knight. When he asked me to be his apprentice I was twelve and was already beginning to worry about being sent to the AgriCorps in another year. He seemed nice enough, so I agreed. We formed a strong training bond, but it was never more than that. He was a lonely man, and I think he worried that I would be lonely too. He knew I was incomplete."
"Incomplete?" Qui-Gon asked, in concern. He sat up, too, putting his hands on Obi-Wan's knees.
"Yes. A part of me was missing," Obi-Wan said, remembering how his master had become almost obsessed with the idea of helping him become complete, as if he felt personally responsible.
"Around my 19th year I became involved with Aleki." He stopped to check Qui-Gon's reaction. "We'd been friends since the creche, and as adolescents we were attracted to each other, and eventually became lovers." He stroked his hand over Qui-Gon's arm to soothe the sting of speaking of another in this way. "But it wasn't as you might think. We were young, physically attracted, and we had some fun together. That's all."
"When did it become more serious?"
"When Master Mulan discovered us in bed... I was 22. I'd managed to hide our relationship from him for three years. But once he knew, he became obsessed with the idea of Aleki and I bonding."
"Obsession is not a Jedi trait."
Obi-Wan exhaled. "It became one, at least for my master. I argued against the bonding. I was still an apprentice and hadn't really considered bonding with anyone. In fact, after our affair had been discovered, Aleki and I stopped seeing each other."
He fidgeted a little, preparing for the end of the tale. "Two years later, when my master became seriously ill, we returned to the Temple to await his death, but also for me to take my trials. It was with great joy that Master Mulan witnessed my knighting, but his heart was heavy that I had yet to bond to anyone. He died thinking I would be alone and he was deeply saddened by this."
"I don't understand. Surely he didn't think you could ever be alone in the Order?"
"He was right in his feelings. I did feel very alone. The training bond was gone and I had no one else. And that's when Aleki came back into my life. He brought me out of my depression and comforted me. In my loneliness I bonded to him. He helped me out of a very dark time, and I accepted his offer to pairbond."
Bonding was a serious undertaking. All Jedi knew this. And yet, Qui-Gon could not help but think that Obi-Wan had made his decision to do so under the wrong circumstances.
"Unfortunately, when the bonding was completed, neither Aleki nor I were entirely happy."
"Not happy? This doesn't sound like any bonding I've heard of."
"Aleki had made it clear he was hoping for a lifebond. But once we bonded, and could not even speak telepathically, we both knew a lifebond would not be possible. But the pairbond did allow us to enjoy the support and love of the other, as it was meant to, and even feel each other's emotions in extreme situations."
"Like now," Qui-Gon said solemnly. This was a difficult conversation, but a necessary one.
"I know lifebonds are rare and can happen instantaneously, and I suppose that's what Aleki thought would happen. When it didn't he became depressed for a long time."
"And now things have become more complicated," Qui-Gon added.
"Wonderfully complicated, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said and smiled briefly. "This won't be easy for Aleki, but I know in my heart and in the Force you and I were meant to be together. I sensed you before I even entered the Council chambers that day. There was a light pulling me toward you. When I walked in, my eyes immediately fell to the source of that light... you, Qui-Gon. You are my lifemate. You always have been."
"We should discuss this with the healers in the morning," Qui-Gon said.
Obi-Wan nodded as one last tear fell down his cheek. "I don't want them to separate us."
"If this is what you truly want, Obi-Wan, as I do, then we will need the assistance of the healers. I believe a lifebond is forming between us, but we will not be able to complete it until you have broken your pairbond with Aleki. Normally this is mutually acceptable between two knights who wish to go their separate ways, either when it's time to take an apprentice or just because it's right to do so."
"Aleki will not agree to separating. I know how stubborn he can be... and just knowing that a lifebond is possible with you, but not with him, will eat him alive."
Qui-Gon sighed. "This is unfortunate, but I see no way around it. The Force has shown us a lifebond is possible. It's something I have been seeking my entire life as well." He took Obi-Wan's hands in his. "When I saw you walk into the Council chambers, the ache that has surrounded my heart for so long was brushed away. I nearly sobbed at the vision of you. You were the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. The Force light surrounding you soothed my eyes, my soul. It was as if you shone just for me."
"I was shining for you, Qui-Gon. The Force brought us together. And after a couple of false starts we can finally form the bond that we have both been searching for."
"As much as I want that to be, you have Aleki to consider. We cannot be one until you resolve your bond to him."
Obi-Wan frowned. This was a very confusing and frightening time. He had finally found his lifemate, and yet he still had ties to another, a man he loved, but who did not complete him in the way he needed to be completed. As only Qui-Gon Jinn could.
The next morning as they lay sleeping and entwined in each other's warmth, they were awakened by the door chime. Whoever was on the other side was very insistent and pressed the chime a half dozen times until Qui-Gon reluctantly removed himself from Obi-Wan's embrace and rolled out of bed and into his Jedi robe.
The early morning visitor was Master Healer Liton.
"Good morning, Master Liton. You are more perceptive than I would've guessed," Qui-Gon mused, thinking how he and Obi-Wan had agreed to visit the healers that day.
"I'm not sure what you're referring to, Master Jinn. I have come to retrieve you and Knight Kenobi," he said, a little shocked realizing Qui-Gon was completely naked under his robe.
"Yes, yes. We planned to visit you this morning, but after firstmeal, of course."
The master healer tilted his head at the taller man. "Then you know that Knight Runalt has filed a complaint against you and is requesting that he and Knight Kenobi renew their pairbond."
Qui-Gon faltered slightly, but to the other master it appeared that he had just taken a step back. "No, we were not aware of this."
"This is very serious, Master Jinn. Please get dressed. I will wait to escort you to the Healers Dome."
Qui-Gon gestured for the other master to wait in his common room, and then retreated into the bedroom where Obi-Wan was already getting dressed.
"You heard?"
"No, but I could feel your reaction, and it wasn't good," Obi-Wan said as he fastened his belt.
"Aleki has filed a complaint, and he wishes to be reunited with you."
"Oh, Qui-Gon. I'm sorry," Obi-Wan said and moved to take Qui-Gon in a loving embrace, his hands sliding under the robe and over the bare skin. "This will all work out somehow. It has to. The Force..."
"Yes, I know. The Force," Qui-Gon said gently, but he was no longer confident in its wisdom.
At the Healers Dome, Qui-Gon Jinn was immediately separated from Obi-Wan Kenobi.
It seemed it had already been decided that their joining was wrong. The master Jedi was tested and it was confirmed that he was beginning what would likely become a very strong lifebond with the knight, but all frowned on letting that bond form completely. He was sent back to his quarters and asked to remain there until further notice.
He stumbled about his quarters, looking for something to do. It could be hours before he received word of a final decision. And whose decision was it to make anyway? The healers in their infinite wisdom? Aleki Runalt in his infinite pain? Obi-Wan Kenobi in his infinite beauty?
No. As far as he was concerned, the matter had already been decided before he ever met Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Force had made that very clear to both of them. So why couldn't anyone else see that? Because convention and rules stood in the way. Even the Jedi in all their compassion could not overcome tradition. So long as Knight Runalt wanted the bond with Knight Kenobi, there would be no separating them. Though it could be forcibly accomplished, the healers would never consent.
So he puttered, straightening books on a shelf and checking his mail. His undoing came when he walked into his bedroom searching for a datapad. He stopped cold in his tracks. The room smelled of Obi-Wan, of their lovemaking. The bed linen's were crumpled and smelling strongly of the young man's musk.
Qui-Gon broke down. He dropped to his knees and began to cry, his face in his hands. He mourned the incomplete lifebond, the passion he had shared with Obi-Wan, and the empty days ahead. For as sure as he was a master Jedi, he knew the outcome of this scenario. Obi-Wan and Aleki would meet with the healers and after much testing, counseling and meditation all would agree that the two knights should remain together.
Obi-Wan was afraid. It was an awkward, childish feeling for a grown man who was safe in the Jedi Temple, but somehow he knew that for the first time in his life the Jedi were not here to help him. They wanted to change him, rip out a part of him that was beautiful and had recently begun to grow. They wanted to sever the lifebond which was forming between him and Qui-Gon Jinn.
"It will be best to remove this ill-formed bond before it interferes further in your life," the healer said to him as he lay restrained on the examining table.
"You must be mad. The bond I have with Master Jinn is the most wonderful thing that's ever happened to me. I refuse to allow it to be broken," Obi-Wan protested loudly, so much so that other healers came into the room to see what was happening and to calm him.
"Knight Runalt has rightfully filed a complaint. Your association with Master Jinn must be terminated," another healer was telling him.
"I can't believe you're saying this. Let me speak with Aleki."
"Knight Runalt has asked that your pairbond be renewed. That will require the ill-formed lifebond to be severed."
"Stop saying that it's ill-formed like it's a disease," Obi-Wan was struggling against the restraints now. "Don't I have any rights here?"
"Rights you have, of course," came the ever-recognizable syntax of Master Yoda.
Obi-Wan immediately relaxed, knowing that the old Jedi master's wisdom and sense of justice would surely save him. "Why restrained is Knight Kenobi?" the small, green Master asked.
"He was combative and resisting our efforts to calm him," Master Liton answered as he returned to the room.
"How calm should I be when you're trying to rape my mind of any connection to the man I would be lifebonded to?"
"Lifebond you are forming with Qui-Gon, hmm?"
"Yes, Master."
"Sensed it I did when first you met."
"That's what I've been trying to tell them. The Force has guided us to be together."
"True this may be, but bonded you are to Knight Runalt," Yoda said, firmly.
"No, Master. I must be with Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan's eyes were swelling with tears again. "Please let me speak with Aleki. I'm sure he will understand."
"Speak with Knight Runalt you may, but understand he will not," Yoda gestured for the restraints to be removed, and Obi-Wan shot up into a sitting position.
"Thank you, Master," he bowed to Yoda. "Now where may I find Aleki?"
"He is in an adjacent room. You may speak to him, but supervised," Master Liton informed him.
The young knight shook his head. This situation was growing more and more ridiculous.
He was shown into the room where Aleki waited quietly. It was the first they had seen each other since their fight the day before. Aleki looked tired, and his eyes were swollen from hours of crying. His body was tight, and he turned his face away from Obi-Wan, the tears beginning to fall once again.
Obi-Wan reeled with the pain emitting from his bondmate. Instinctively he fell to his knees at Aleki's feet. He wanted nothing more than for this horrible situation to be over and Aleki's pain to be gone.
"I... I'm sorry I've caused you pain," Obi-Wan spoke softly. He didn't dare reach out to touch his bondmate. "This isn't something I planned. It was Force-driven."
Aleki's face turned sharply to him, and his eyes raked over the love bites visible on his bondmates throat. "Can't even take responsibility for your own actions can you, Obi?" Aleki snorted. "The Force is a guide, not an absolute."
"And I chose to listen to its guidance," Obi-Wan said.
"So, what's done is done? But you cannot complete what you've started with Jinn unless we sever our bond, and that is something I am not willing to do," Aleki's voice was clear, almost proud, and he jutted his chin out, defying Obi-Wan to overcome that obstacle.
"I'm asking you to let me complete that lifebond with Master Jinn. I know it's painful for you..."
"Do you? Do you have any idea?" Aleki was shaking his head and blinking back the tears. "You didn't seem too concerned about my pain last night when you were fucking him." Aleki's fists were curled, his knuckles white. The healer stood close by, but did not interfere. Finally, with some effort, he calmed himself enough to speak again. "I worked too hard to catch you to let you get away from me now. We're a good match. You've said that many times, and the Council agrees."
"Yes, we were a good match," Obi-Wan said, purposefully placing their relationship in the past tense to encourage this separation. "We gave each other a lot of support and we loved each other. You know that I'll always love you, Aleki, don't you?"
The other knight shuddered. "Yes, I believe that you will. But I want you in my arms, in my life, not loving me from a distance like some museum object."
"I wish I still could. But I'd only be thinking of him. It wouldn't be fair to any of us," Obi-Wan said sadly.
"And it would be fair for me to give up what we've built together? Our life as pairbonded mates? What of that?"
"It's not unusual for pairbonds to separate. You know that."
"Well, you've done your research," Aleki retorted sharply. "I don't care what you say or do, I won't sever our bond. Do what you must, Obi-Wan--you always do--but know that our bond is staying intact."
It was useless to continue this conversation. Aleki had made up his mind. He still loved Obi-Wan and wanted them to be together. But if it was truly love, wouldn't Aleki want his lover to be happy? A lifebond was a rare and treasured thing among the Jedi, with less than two percent ever experiencing it. Could he deny his love the fulfillment he had always wanted for himself?
The decision now fell to Obi-Wan to be with Aleki exclusively and let his growing bond with Qui-Gon die a slow death of inattention, or continue to see Qui-Gon and hurt Aleki through the emotional link their bond created. Either way he would be incomplete. It was an impossible decision. So he chose to deny himself completely.
"I will put in a request for a mission immediately. I think it'll be best for everyone," he said, then rose from the floor and left the room.
Six months was a long time to be without Obi-Wan, for Aleki and for Qui-Gon. Neither had received any direct messages from the knight, but had heard through reports to the Council of his progress. One mission had led to two more, until finally it seemed he would never return to Coruscant.
By the second month of absence, Aleki accepted his own mission. He had remained on Coruscant in the hopes that Obi-Wan would return or try to contact him, but it had become increasingly hard to stay in their shared quarters and to occasionally bump into Master Jinn. Qui-Gon had attempted to speak to him once, to explain things, but Aleki had only become angry and made a scene in the main Temple corridor. A mission would provide the same empty solace that Obi-Wan had sought, and perhaps in time they could reunite properly.
Obi-Wan's absence was especially hard on Qui-Gon, who was bound by duty to remain at the Temple. There were reminders of his young lover everywhere. In the training hall he could still see Obi-Wan's graceful form in a saber duel, in the garden Obi-Wan's Force signature still lingered, and in his bedroom... that was the most difficult place of all. He had taken to sleeping on his couch in the common room, to keep the ghosts of their lovemaking at bay.
Qui-Gon understood Obi-Wan's decision to leave. If they couldn't be together fully, then Obi-Wan would not hurt Aleki further by maintaining their pairbond and seeing Qui-Gon behind his bondmate's back. The knight's words came back to him continually. "I love you. Please remember that... no matter what happens."
If only that were true. It was so little to hang on to, and Qui-Gon was beginning to have doubts. The few times the knight had reported to the Council via hologram, he had looked detached and unfeeling. His eyes never wandered to scan the Council chambers for Qui-Gon, always looking straight ahead, directing his gaze and his words to no one in particular... but certainly not to Qui-Gon.
How could something born out of love and in the Force become so cold, and so wrong? It was a question that Qui-Gon had exhausted himself meditating on. But no answer had been forthcoming. And then finally word came that Knight Kenobi was returning to Coruscant. For whatever reason, he had not been assigned another mission after his current mission had been successfully completed. Qui-Gon suspected a certain ancient Jedi master had something to do with that, but he couldn't be entirely sure.