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Jailbait

by KatBear (katbear@cox.net)

Archive: MA, QJEB, BIC. Any others please ask.
Category: angst, non-con, h/c, first time (sort of)
Rating: NC17
Pairing: O/other, Q/O
Feedback: Appreciated, especially constructive criticism. Grammar, plotline, characters, continuity or whatever - if you think something could be improved please let me know.
Thanks to the beta readers - for help with comments and encouragement, Thalia for the first draft, Tem-Ve and Gloriana for plowing through the monster final draft, and especially Emu for putting up with so many iterations of the story and letting me know honestly when things sucked (which is really only fair since it was her little bunny that grew up into this ravening beast). All mistakes are definitely my own since I can't resist tweaking.
Summary: A mission goes wrong, Obi-Wan ends up in prison and gets a new cellmate. Serious issues ensue.
Warnings: If you don't like male-male relationships you are in the wrong place. Language, a fair bit of Obi-abuse and noncon sex.
Spoilers: None, pre-TPM.
Disclaimer: The boys belong to George Lucas, I'm just playing with them. No profit is intended or made.

~ ~ Character internal thoughts
* * emphasis

Back to part 4...

Obi-Wan reclined on a blanket in the warm sun, occasionally sipping cold fruit juice from a thermal flask. Qui-Gon and Healer Nolspaq sat on blankets in the shade of their favorite mler tree in what they had come to think of as their private little corner of the gardens. Qui-Gon nibbled slices of sweet breddafruit as he listened to the quiet discussion.

A few hours earlier the Healer had arrived as the two men were sitting partially dressed at their table, the master sipping tea and watching anxiously as his apprentice desultorily picked at the leftovers on his plate. She had immediately taken charge, directing them into their respective rooms to get properly dressed while she ordered up a full lunch basket from the dining hall. Taking her two charges in tow, they had stopped at the dining hall just long enough to pick up their food, then headed out to the gardens. All serious conversation was forbidden as she stuffed them full of hot soup, crisp four-bean salad, sandwiches, fruit and chocolate tapecal pudding. She had gotten a smile from both men as she curtly sent the officious junior knight from the Master of Arms office packing when he came to indignantly inquire about the unauthorized absence of one Master Jinn from his quarters; before he had gotten a half dozen words out the Healer had risen, notified the knight in no uncertain terms that Master Jinn was there on her explicit medical orders and if the knight did not immediately vacate the area she would report him directly to the Head of Healer's Hall for interference with a healer-patient session. Having removed the distraction, the healer promptly returned to feeding her two Jedi and engaging them in pleasant small talk before eventually moving on to discuss the morning's newest problem.

"Obi-Wan, you've made a great deal of progress, you mustn't forget that," said the Healer quietly. "I'm not going to belittle the seriousness of this last episode, but I believe that to a certain extent it was caused by a conjunction of unusual circumstances. You made a significant breakthrough last night, and your shields were still high when you returned. It was late, you were both tired, you skipped the evening meditations. Part of the design of those meditations was to bring the two of you closer in tune, so to speak, so Qui-Gon would be more sensitive to your dreams; that didn't happen. Taken altogether, you were open to triggering a flashback dream and Qui-Gon had to fight through your shields to pull you out of it. Essentially, this episode simply illustrates that the original problem was extremely serious and we still have more work to do."

The apprentice rolled up on to one elbow. "How much longer is this going to go on? I know I didn't get off to a very good start, but since I got the ND I've done everything everyone has asked and worked my tail off. I only have so much to give and if this is going to go on forever I don't know what to do. I may not make it back to senior padawan, let alone knight, if I can't get back on Mission status." He laughed bitterly. "If I have to rely on Qui-Gon to take care of me and keep blocking my dreams the rest of my life I may as well be back on Junmek."

"Padawan Kenobi, that kind of thinking doesn't help anyone," Healer Nolspaq said firmly. "I agree we need to resolve this, and we *will* resolve this, but it may take time. I think it is probably more urgent that you resolve the Notice of Deficiencies than it is to move back on Mission status."

"It's all connected, though," Obi-Wan replied with a shrug. "I've got the academic part back under control, I just have to keep up with the work. But worrying about whether this stuff in my head is going to keep me off Mission status will make it even harder to focus on my course work and training."

"Let me ask you a question, Obi-Wan," said the Healer thoughtfully. "This dream was different from most of the others you've had, and there were some things in there you've never really brought up before. Was it a reflection of things that actually happened to you while you were in prison?"

The young Jedi flopped back, closed his eyes, and thought for a while. "The first part was pretty typical for what usually happened on a greentag day. Toward the end, though, I guess it was more of a composite of some of the worst things that happened. A lot of those things I had pushed way back in my mind; I suppose I would have to say I was probably still in denial about the worst of it, but that dream forced a lot of things to surface. Maogg really was very strict, sometimes to the point of brutality; sometimes he would punish me for the slightest infraction or lack of enthusiasm, and he knew if I had a choice I'd rather be beaten than be forced into sexual activities."

Obi-Wan shuddered briefly, forced down the flash of anger. "A lot of things have been coming back this morning. I remember now how he used me for trading with some of the senior trustees; he would make me fellate them or let them do other things to me in return for favors and goods." He scrubbed his closed eyes for a while before tiredly dropping his arm again. "Looking back now, I realize I hated those greentag days so much because that was one of the few times we were out of the cell and interacting directly with so many of the prisoner trustees. Force, no wonder I sometimes felt like I was just his personal whore."

Slowly, the apprentice pushed himself up, sitting crosslegged, head in his hands. He finally continued in a ragged voice, "I do remember another greentag day, I think I had lost my temper over something stupid...he let the trustee stick that damned hose in me, I had to suck the trustee's cock while Maogg fucked me, then Maogg put this homemade wooden plug in me." He grimaced. "I had to wear that miserable plug the rest of the day, feeling it, knowing it was his semen inside me."

"Obi-Wan," the Healer said quietly, "if you have been repressing some of those memories, it would help explain your reactions in not wanting to take public showers and why that dream surfaced after you finally went back to the locker room. Is there anything else that might be lurking around in your subconscious?"

There was a very long silence before the apprentice slowly raised his head, hands dragging off his face to drop into his lap. Obi-Wan finally spoke, voice low and rough, "I don't know." Gray eyes were dark with uncertainty. "I'd like to think that was the worst of it," he paused, swallowed hard, "but I'm not even sure any more which things in my head were real or not." He closed his eyes, hung his head. "Not remembering those kinds of things earlier...not even having a clue I had those things in my head...and it was so real in the dream." The apprentice looked up again, biting his lower lip. "I feel like there are definitely more memories I deliberately buried, but the harder I try to remember, the fuzzier things seem to be. I'm just not certain what's left in my head any more, what really happened, and it's getting scary."

Qui-Gon moved over close enough to offer a comforting hand. Obi-Wan took it, giving his master a grateful smile.

"Repressed memories are not generally something you can force to the surface," Healer Nolspaq said. "You need to let them return on their own."

Obi-Wan grimaced as he looked skeptically at the healer, then at his master. He sighed resignedly. "Very well, I won't try to force things. What do we do now, though?"

"Well, the real goal of the therapy is to enable you to understand what happened to you on Junmek, to come to terms with what happened so you can get on with a normal life. We can continue with the standard therapy, integrate this new information into the discussions and keep hammering away until you can carry on all of your normal activities again. Now that we know there may be suppressed memories, if there are any more we can deal with them as they come up."

"That could take a long time, couldn't it?" Obi-Wan said challengingly.

"It is the safest, least painful approach, but, yes, it could take quite a while."

Obi-Wan sat up on his knees, hands on his thighs, leaning forward. "I don't care about painful, what is the fastest way?"

"Confront the issues head-on, let one of the advanced master healers go in and help force things to the surface and damn the consequences." Black eyes locked with gray.

"Wait a minute," said Qui-Gon quietly, interjecting himself into what was rapidly becoming an intense situation. "I know this is important to you, Padawan, but if those `consequences' make you unable to finish your courses and pass, the Padawan Review Board is not going to be interested in a discussion of different therapy methods. They *will* revoke your promotion and probably put you on additional probation on top of that."

Both apprentice and Healer looked at Qui-Gon, then back at each other. Obi-Wan was the first to speak. "He's right, Healer Nolspaq. I made a commitment to the Board to correct the academic and training deficiencies. I can't let that fall through." He sighed. "What are our choices, really?"

"The most conservative choice is to continue standard therapy and hope for the best. As I indicated, the fastest, but most extreme measure, would be to have one of the master healers go into your mind and directly help you to `clean house', so to speak. We would normally only use that technique if the repressed memories come back and are too overwhelming."

Obi-Wan looked at her appraisingly. "And?"

The Healer looked at the young Jedi thoughtfully for a moment. "In your case, I'm going to recommend that you be an even more active participant in your recovery. Not to the extreme of forcing anything, but rather take a positive approach to `reclaiming' yourself." She paused at Obi-Wan's puzzled expression. "I want you to continue your normal activities, go to your classes and training. But each day make a conscious decision to do something proactive which allows you to get past some of your earlier inhibitions, such as using the communal showers after your training, spending more time with other people, perhaps keep wearing less clothing in your quarters. As part of your daily meditations, emphasize the successful actions and thoughts that put you in control of your own life and feelings. You also need to consciously emphasize positive thoughts about yourself. Outside the therapy sessions remind yourself several times a day that you are a good person and that what happened to you on Junmek is over."

"I can do that," Obi-Wan said, "but is there any additional risk to this approach?"

"It is essentially a more aggressive version of your current standard therapy because I am asking you to directly confront your fears, to take actions which will probably make you uncomfortable. The more aggressive you are, the higher the risk that you might trigger a flood of memories we don't know about, and we might need to bring in a master healer to help you directly whether you want it or not. Depending on what is really in your head, this approach does sometimes open up more memories than a person can handle and we've had patients go into some very deep depressions or suffer other major emotional trauma."

"This sounds like something I could handle, though. I was already starting to feel more comfortable with less clothes in our quarters and the swimming class helped a lot," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully. He looked at Qui-Gon. "I'd like to try it, Master."

"What do we need to do?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Obi-Wan, are you far enough along in your course work that you can afford to add some extra exercises each day?" asked the Healer.

Obi-Wan thought for a few minutes before answering. "If I can keep the time I was using for the swimming class instead of adding back more sessions, and if I keep working very hard, then, yes."

"Good. In addition to our regular sessions, I am going to give you some additional meditations to reinforce your self-esteem which will include a morning meditation and some short exercises to repeat during the day. Each day you need to explicitly do something that emphasizes that you have control of your own life. The better you feel about yourself and the more in control of your own life you feel, the closer we can get to recovery," said the Healer. "If you have any problems with the exercises, any more hidden feelings or strange dreams, it is important that you discuss those with me or your master. I want you to push aggressively, but don't hide anything if you're having any problems."

"I can do that," Obi-Wan said firmly. "Just give me the instructions and I'll start today."

"What do I need to do?" Qui-Gon asked quietly.

"You, Master Jinn," said the Healer with a smile, "are his support. Be there for the meditations, let him dream but watch over his dreams so you can redirect them or pull him out if necessary, be willing to discuss whatever comes up." She leaned over to touch their joined hands gently. "Let him hurt when he needs to hurt. Some of the things he needs to do or remember may be unpleasant."

Qui-Gon swallowed, took a deep breath. He looked at Obi-Wan, who nodded silently. "Very well."

"Good." The Healer smiled and stood up. "I believe in you, Obi-Wan. If I didn't think you wanted this, and could do this, I wouldn't even have brought it up. I know Qui-Gon believes in you, so the question is going to be whether or not you believe in yourself, truly believe. That's what you need to think about and work on while you finish this term. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll put together your new exercises and meditations so we can get started."

The next several days quickly became a blur of constant work, eighteen to twenty hour days punctuated by brief meals and eased by morning and late night meditation sessions. Qui-Gon and his apprentice visited each of Obi-Wan's instructors again to get another update on his progress, verify that all of his previous assignments and work were now satisfactorily made up except for the mid-course tests he had failed and to ensure they knew exactly what was still owed in each class. Obi-Wan finished a complete first draft of every paper and project coming due, by Ninthday actually polishing off the two papers due the following Fifthday. They could not afford to neglect any of the physical training; the PRB had notified the padawan that they had scheduled an independent evaluation of his proficiency in the new katas and lightsaber drills that were on his training plan and Obi-Wan still had not mastered more than a fourth of the final kata.

As part of his self-assertion program, Obi-Wan had decided that using the communal showers was one of the most difficult but visible ways to prove to himself that he was in charge of his own feelings. Each day after his physical training sessions, the apprentice forced himself into the communal showers. The first attempt had not gone very well; he had practically run in and out of the crowded facility, barely rinsing off the worst of the sweat. By Eighthday he was able to walk in and out calmly and wash properly, although he still reported feeling anxious and practically jumped any time someone brushed against him. In the locker room he even worked up to making small talk with some of his closer friends as long as no one tried to touch him. The Healers were pleased with his initial progress. Qui-Gon deflected any dreams which threatened to disrupt his apprentice's few hours of rest, even though waking up several times a night was playing havoc with his own sleep.

The one thing Qui-Gon could not guard for his beloved apprentice, however, was the state of the personal thoughts occupying the young man's head. The grueling schedule left little time for introspection beyond the scheduled meditations and barely enough time for sleep. On the one hand, the new exercises did seem to help; Obi-Wan felt an almost tangible sense of triumph when he consciously chose an activity and successfully carried it out. On the other hand, the uncertainty left in his mind after the revelations of the repressed memories had continued. It had grown slowly but steadily from an occasional passing thought to unbidden visions to a noticeable whine at the fringes of the bond.

By the next Tenthday there was a small dark presence hovering almost constantly at the edge of Obi-Wan's thoughts, a black cloud no amount of meditation or counseling seemed able to disperse. As it grew, it began to taint both sleeping and waking hours. Each night there seemed to be more and more dreams for Qui-Gon to fend off, but Obi-Wan was still feeling tired when he woke each morning despite his master's intervention. During the day the unspoken threat of hidden memories lingered like an acid aftertaste in the back of the apprentice's throat, beginning to sour even his increasingly successful attempts at normal behavior. There were times Obi-Wan almost felt as if there were another person inside his head seeking to control him.

Fatigue was beginning to chip away at both men's composure; lapses of concentration and flashes of irritation were increasingly evident as the long heavy days passed. On Fourthday a favorite mug clumsily shattered led to exasperated, angry words followed by an hour spent by the shaken apprentice in his master's arms as both men tried to refocus. By mutual consent they stopped working and spent the rest of that evening in meditation to try to exorcise the ghosts of Junmek.

The next morning was much as any other. The two men felt a little more at ease after their extended meditation and breakfast was relatively lighthearted. By lunch time Obi-Wan was feeling better than he had in days; he had turned in two papers that morning and participated in a spirited class discussion on the underlying reasons for one of the more recent major wars. They were let out early from his last morning class, so he decided to return to his quarters and have a quiet leisurely lunch rather than face the raucous crowd in the dining hall.

Although vaguely disappointed that Qui-Gon had not been able to come back for lunch, Obi-Wan decided to take advantage of the extra hour before his afternoon workout. He kicked off his boots and settled in on the old couch with a datapad. For a while he made good progress, but the material was dry reading and he slouched lower and lower. Without noticing, the datapad finally slipped to the floor as a light snore floated gently across the room.

The afternoon sun was warmer than usual, shining down pleasantly on the drowsing young man.

"Mmmm," he murmured, snuggling a little deeper into the soft surface, "yes...love you, too, Qui-Gon."

A stern figure looked down on the sleeping Jedi, blue eyes dark with irritation. "Wake up," he commanded.

"Just want to sleep a little longer, Master," Obi-Wan muttered, clutching a pillow to his chest.

The next moment the apprentice found himself flung to the floor. "Hey, what the -"

Maogg dragged the smaller man up by his collars, the rough wall biting into Obi-Wan's bare back as he was slammed into it. "Jinn is dead," he hissed angrily. He shook the apprentice, slammed him into the wall again. "You serve me now. Stop wasting your time mooning over what is finished."

Obi-Wan felt his temper rising but was all too well acquainted with the consequences of letting it go. Shaking his head as he tried to clear it, he bit his tongue to keep the intemperate words in check. Only when he was certain he had his feelings under control again did he trust himself to grind out a reply. "Yes, Mazhten."

He had waited far too long to answer, however, and a heavy backhand sent the apprentice crashing to the floor. Obi-Wan curled himself into a smaller target on his hands and knees as Maogg stood over him, glowering, hands on his hips. The clansman had grown increasingly irritated and short tempered the longer their imprisonment went on. It seemed almost as if the energy that he would normally have dissipated roaming free through the mountains was being forced back inside, recycled as an increasingly fierce and bitter burning. Even the potential imminence of rescue had not improved his disposition; if anything the tension between them had grown worse since Obi-Wan had finally figured out that Maogg was communicating with other clansmen with his singing at night.

There was a long moment of tense silence. Obi-Wan remained motionless, careful to keep his gaze down. Finally the clansman grunted and stepped back. "If you have time to sleep you're not working hard enough." Maogg put his boot on the young man's butt and shoved him forward. "Get up," he snarled as Obi-Wan scrambled to his feet. "No more sleeping during the day."

"Yes, Mazhten."

"We will work out now."

"Yes, Mazhten."

Obi-Wan kept his thoughts to himself and carefully schooled his features to neutrality as the two men began a long series of exercises. Inwardly, though, he embraced the bittersweet feelings left from the dreams. Even though he believed that Qui-Gon was dead, he had been seeing him more and more frequently in dreams. The dreams varied, some were about being rescued but most were of the two men back on Coruscant, together again. Obi-Wan had become convinced that the dreams were a message from the Force, that somehow Qui-Gon was reaching out to him to tell him not to lose faith, that there was hope for the future and to be strong. Outwardly he continued to serve obediently, but it became harder and harder to bide his time as he came to share Maogg's belief that escape was truly possible. He kept his mind occupied during the long days by planning ways he might be able to turn the escape to his advantage.

The cold air knifed through him, making the naked Jedi shiver. Maogg methodically continued his nightly inspection, checking condition, joints, pausing over a new bruise, adjusting the fit of the cock ring where it had started to chafe. Obi-Wan glanced over his shoulder at the window; the storm had been steadily worsening since early afternoon, snow and ice in a howling wind that had reduced visibility to arm's length. The clansman finished his checks and gave the apprentice a light slap on the ass, the signal that he was free to go to bed. Obi-Wan quickly relieved himself, brushed his teeth and crawled into the bunk. Maogg slid in behind him as the lights went out.

Obi-Wan lay on his left side, eyes closed, hoping dully that if he feigned sleep the clansman wouldn't fuck him again before dropping off. The heat from the two bodies made it comfortably warm under the blankets. He could feel Maogg spooned closely behind him. The clansman was still awake, long right arm draped over his bitch as he idly played with a nipple ring. It was quieter than usual; the apprentice could hear his own and Maogg's breathing, loud in his ears, and the tapping of metal plates on the guard's boots rang through the corridor as he completed his first round of the night. As the doors closed behind the guard, the clansman stirred.

Putting a hand over Obi-Wan's mouth, Maogg leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "Be silent and listen." Obi-Wan nodded, so Maogg removed his hand before continuing. "The storm will run for at least three days. Tonight we leave so we will have maximum cover for the escape. There will be diversions at the other end of the prison. When you hear the fire alarms, begin tearing the blankets and sheets and tie them into a rope. I will be removing the bars. We will go out the window on the rope and drop the last several feet. In the maintenance building we will get tools and uniforms. After we remove the control collars, we are going to the lower level to retrieve another prisoner. When we have him, we are going to the outer wall. My people will open the wall from outside. We will leave with the other prisoner while other groups provide more diversions, going cross-country to rejoin my clan."

Obi-Wan felt a thrill of anticipation run through him. This was his opportunity, the one he had been waiting for all this time if he could just force himself to take advantage of it. His mouth was suddenly dry, his heart thumping wildly as he wondered if Maogg would just beat him senseless and leave him here if he resisted. ~ It's now or never. Do it, ~ he told himself. Obi-Wan turned over to face Maogg, scrutinizing the bearded face in the dim light from the corridor, then finally spoke, softly and calmly, "No."

Maogg had been expecting a certain amount of resistance to the idea of stopping to free a third prisoner, but appeared thrown off stride by the quiet certitude of Obi-Wan's response. "What do you mean, no?"

"We are not going anywhere tonight until we get a few things straight. The first and most important thing is that we leave under my conditions or we don't leave at all."

"You do not dictate conditions to me, boy," hissed the clansman angrily.

"You clearly have a plan and outside help that I couldn't get otherwise, but there are still a lot of guards in this place. It's going to take both of us to carry out this plan of yours. I will help you fully and freely, but in return I want something when we get out of here."

"You will help or I will leave you here for the animals to take." Maogg's body was stiff with rising anger. One large hand snaked down, grasped the Jedi's testicles and began to twist.

After an initial grunt of pain, Obi-Wan continued in a hard whisper, "You will listen to what I have to say or I will call for the guards and tell them what I know." He paused briefly to swallow, outwardly calm despite the growing pain. "I can put up with the pain and hold you off long enough for them to get here and put you out. I am only asking for something that is fair and honorable."

The clansman stopping twisting but did not release his grip. He fumed silently for several minutes. "What is it you want?" he finally asked grudgingly.

Encouraged by having gotten this far still in one piece, Obi-Wan continued firmly, "This servitude is abhorrent to me and I would rather die here than stay your property. I will follow your customs; all I am asking is that after we get out of here you give me the opportunity to have a fair fight to regain my freedom."

"I have already taken you in a fair fight. You are mine."

"That was not a fair fight at all."

Obi-Wan took Maogg's free hand and put it on the Force dampener. "I am a Jedi. The Force, the Mother's gifts as you know it, it is as much a part of me as the air I breathe. Without the Force, I am not complete, with this collar on part of my soul is ripped from me. It was as if you had tied my hands, blinded my eyes." He poked a finger in Maogg's chest and demanded, "Tell me what was so honorable about such a fight, such a tainted victory?"

"You fought well for a cub, how can the Force make such a difference?"

"The Force is the light that guides me, without it I am not whole. You say you have known other Jedi, could you not see the light in them?"

Maogg was silent for a long while. "Perhaps this is so. What exactly do you want?" he finally asked reluctantly.

"When we get back to your people, remove the Force dampener, and face me in a fair fight, your choice of place and weapons. If you win again, I will serve you completely, no questions asked. If I win, I go free and you help me get offplanet." Obi-Wan waited, barely breathing. He could feel a trickle of sweat gathering as several more minutes slowly passed.

"Very well," grunted Maogg, finally releasing his firm grip on the apprentice's testicles. "When we are home, you will have your challenge, though it will make little difference."

"Thank you," said Obi-Wan softly.

A few hours later the harsh bell in the corridor began ringing in spaced triplets as the lights came up. All along the corridor prisoners began yelling and screaming as the guards ran out the door. "Fire! Fire!" "Let us out!" "Get us the fuck out!"

Maogg and Obi-Wan immediately put their plan into action. Out the window, into the maintenance building, control collars off and makeshift uniforms on, then they headed back into the high security wing of the building. There were guards at each door and level but they could not stand against the fierce onslaught of the two desperate men. Obi-Wan fought like an ancient berserker, taking out guards and protecting Maogg once they had secured the comatose prisoner on the lower level. Out into the storm, cutting through the electrified fence, waiting anxiously by the outer wall, jubilant when the brilliance of a flashing lightsaber came through the wall and they made their escape.

The endless journey through the snow, into the hills and over the mountains, passed in a daze of dogged endurance. Obi-Wan's next conscious thought was the pleasurable warmth of soft blankets on his naked skin when he woke up. He stretched, savoring the physical pleasure. He looked around the room with interest, noting the details of the partitioned area in the dim, smoky light.

A large hand caressed his flank. "Good morning, boy."

Obi-Wan jerked in surprise, then turned on his side to face the other occupant of the bed. "Good morning, Mazhten. May I ask where we are?"

"We are in the winter camp of the of the White Panther clan. You are safe from the southerners now."

"Thank you, Mazhten. I suppose I should also thank the members of your clan for getting us out of the prison."

"You will have that opportunity later. The other prisoner we rescued was the chief's son, my cousin, and this evening there will be a celebration and giving of thanks to the Mother for his safe return. You will also get to meet the Jedi who helped us."

"And what of our other agreement, Mazhten?" asked Obi-Wan softly.

"I have not forgotten," replied Maogg. He smiled arrogantly. "Tonight, at the celebration, you will have your chance. The Jedi has already agreed to remove your collar and the council has agreed to allow the challenge. I shall look forward to besting you again."

"Thank you, Mazhten," said Obi-Wan. ~ We shall see, my friend, we shall see. ~

The rest of the day passed quickly as Maogg showed Obi-Wan around the camp and introduced him to many of the clanspeople. In old but comfortable clothes, the well-fed and rested apprentice accompanied Maogg to the clan gathering. He gathered all the patience he could muster to sit through the endless ceremonies and recognition of those who had participated in various aspects of the rescue operation. After he and Maogg had been recognized, the last person to be honored was the mysterious Jedi. A tall figure in hooded cloak glided forward to bow to the king, only pulling the hood back when the chief introduced the formidable Jedi Master. Obi-Wan's heart leapt with joy when Qui-Gon's worn features were revealed, and it was all he could do to stop himself from running over to throw himself into his master's arms. Maogg smiled at him as he waited impatiently through the last of the formal ceremonies.

The chief stood up and asked for attention. Qui-Gon stood silently at his side. "Tonight we have before us a most unusual request. As we have already seen, the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi is ranshurr to our clansman Maogg, bested by him in single combat and taken by him to honor the Mother. However, as we have learned from Master Jinn," he paused to point to Qui-Gon, who gave a small bow, "the southerners put a special device on the Jedi Kenobi, a monstrous device which cut him off from the Mother's sight and denied him the use of her gifts, that the Jedi call the Force. Because of this, and also in honor of his help in rescuing Laregg, the council has granted a petition to allow Kenobi to challenge for his freedom. Master Jinn will remove the device to restore the Jedi Kenobi to the Mother's sight, and Maogg shall then choose the manner of challenge." The chief motioned to Obi-Wan to come forward.

Obi-Wan knelt before the chief, his heart pounding as Qui-Gon approached and knelt beside him. Qui-Gon spoke next. "We thank the people of the White Panther clan for their hospitality, and in particular for this opportunity you have extended to my padawan. The Force is indeed very important to us, and I thank you for allowing me to restore Obi-Wan's connection to the Force. I would ask for a bit of patience, for it has been many months now since he was lost to the Force, and it may take a few minutes to become readjusted." The chief signaled his agreement, and Qui-Gon turned to his apprentice.

"Padawan, please lie down." Obi-Wan stretched out on his back as Qui-Gon drew his lightsaber and adjusted the setting to a short cutting length. The master put one hand on Obi-Wan's neck and spoke very quietly, "Do you really have to do this challenge, Obi-Wan? Restoring the Force this suddenly can be very risky and there are other ways I can try to get you out of here."

"Thank you, Master, but I need to do this for myself." He smiled and laid a reassuring hand on Qui-Gon's knee.

"Very well. Assuming you don't go into psychic shock from the long deprivation, there will still probably be several minutes of disorientation. Our training bond will anchor you, just close your eyes and focus on me." He held the collar steady and brought the blade closer. "Just remember, no matter what happens, Obi-Wan, I am here for you."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan closed his eyes and focused as the lightsaber sliced through the collar and it fell away.

Light.

White light pouring from a molten sun.

Blue light cascading from a starry sky.

Warm light, his master's presence reaching to him, calling to him.

Soft green light, framing his master's face.

Blue light and green, meeting, joining in a joyous explosion as they met across the bond.

The Force poured through him, a warm welcoming tingle, spreading throughout his body.

He laughed, let the light flood through him, carry him, energizing him as if trying to make up for the long miserable months of darkness.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes, saw Qui-Gon's anxious expression, felt his concern.

"How do you feel?"

"Wonderful," breathed Obi-Wan. He smiled, a radiant expression that was only a pale reflection of the magnificent light within. He sat up, then let his master help him to his feet. Upright, he clung to Qui-Gon's arm for a moment as his focus adjusted, a moment of dizziness that quickly passed. He took several deep breaths, remembering to center on the bond so he didn't drift away and get lost in the luminescence. One step, two, another deep breath, then several steps, up and down the length of the room. This felt right, so good, once more at one with the Force. The buzzing of conversation in the room seemed only a distant murmur.

Obi-Wan returned to Qui-Gon's side and they both bowed to the chief as the room quieted again. "I join my master in thanking the people of the White Panther clan for their hospitality and for rescuing me from the prison." He turned to face Maogg, who waited patiently in the center of the room. "I wish also to thank Maogg. He conducted himself in an honorable fashion according to the customs of your people. However, he did not realize how difficult it was for me to be cut off from my own ways and the Force, and has agreed to allow me to challenge for my freedom now instead of serving the full term of service." The apprentice paused, let the tension gather. "I therefore challenge thee, Maogg of the White Panther clan, to fair and open combat, to serve thee freely if you win, to return to my own people if I should prevail. What are your terms, sir?"

Maogg smiled cockily. "The Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi was a worthy opponent, and has served well. To honor his service and his help, I grant this challenge, and thank the council for approving the petition." He bowed in the direction of the council and chief, then put his hands on his hips. His bare upper torso shone sleekly, his stance reflecting his usual arrogant self-confidence. "At the council's request, the combat shall be unarmed and to the first yielding. It shall be now, and completely unarmed and unclothed. I look forward to a most interesting fight, my little Jedi."

Both men bowed, then retreated to opposite ends of the long building as the center was cleared to make room for the combat. Obi-Wan did some light stretching as Qui-Gon reminded him about defense, using his quickness against the clansman's reach and mass, not to reveal his Force enhanced abilities too soon. The apprentice removed his clothing and set it aside, reminding himself that the clanspeople had no body modesty and would see nothing unusual about fighting in the nude.

The chief was standing again, calling for silence. Qui-Gon gave one last squeeze on the shoulder, whispering to him to relax and focus. The two men were called to the center of the room, and the chief gave the signal to start.

The two naked men circled warily in the warm lamplight. Yellow light gleamed softly on hard muscled bodies, one large and imposing, the other short and compact. Maogg was confident and aggressive; his reputation as one of the clan's very finest warriors was well deserved. Obi-Wan, however, had far more at stake in the outcome of this duel and was determined not to lose.

Both men respected each other's abilities and the first several minutes were a series of wary feints. Maogg, despite his lack of understanding of how the Force was actually going to help his opponent, was yet intelligent enough to realize that Obi-Wan believed that it gave him an advantage. The clansman was aggressive but not foolish and used his opening maneuvers to try to determine the apprentice's current level of abilities. Obi-Wan was content to stay on the defensive; his years of experience in sparring against larger opponents enabled him to stay out of Maogg's grasp while studying his style and reactions. One early advantage to the clansman was that Obi-Wan found he was bothered more than he had expected by having to fight naked; it was too reminiscent of his prison experience and he found himself having to work hard to stay focused as they grappled skin on skin.

The crowd of clanspeople around the edge of the building cheered, stamped and whistled as the fight progressed. Both men were sweating from the warmth and exertion but still breathing relatively easily due to the extensive conditioning program they had been through. Maogg became more aggressive as he saw little change in the Jedi's fighting style from the first time he had vanquished him. He stalked and pounced, time after time, forcing the action. Wrestling holds became more difficult as the flowing sweat made skin slippery. Obi-Wan's confidence grew as he continued to hold his own against the bigger man and he began to use subtle Force nudges to help his moves and countermoves.

The first few times Obi-Wan used Force enhancement Maogg seemed to be aware that something wasn't quite right, but the puzzled expression on his face led Obi-Wan to believe that the clansman didn't understand what was happening. Maogg became a little warier, his moves a little less aggressive as the young Jedi began pushing the action. Both men got in some telling blows as the fight continued, bruises beginning to darken their pale skins. The crowd's noisy exhortations spurred them on as hot blood flowed from numerous cuts and scratches.

Obi-Wan's growing reliance on his Force abilities was almost his undoing as he forgot just how skilled and adaptable his opponent was. The apprentice tried for a lower body takedown, nudging his opponent hard to his left. Instead of trying to fight or counter the Force shove, Maogg used the extra power to increase his own momentum as he rolled down and left. He came up almost behind Obi-Wan as he sprawled awkwardly from the missed takedown move. Maogg caught the apprentice in an upper body hold and together they rolled over twice before their momentum carried them to their feet.

Instead of trying for a killing move or a takedown, Maogg surprised the apprentice by simply wrapping his arms around the Jedi's shoulders, locking his hands together behind Obi-Wan's neck. He moved only enough to keep the squirming young man from getting away or kicking his feet from under him.

"I shall soon reclaim what is mine, boy," said Maogg, breath hot on the apprentice's neck.

"Never," snarled Obi-Wan as he futilely tried to get an elbow down far enough for a gut blow.

"You know you are mine," whispered Maogg, letting the two hot sweaty bodies rub together. "Serve me and I will take care of you. It is the right way of things."

"No!" yelled Obi-Wan's mouth as his mind was stabbed with doubt.

"You gave yourself to me," Maogg said softly as he thrust his hips forward a little. "It was your choice. Remember, boy, you came to me on your knees and asked to serve me."

A surge of anger and disgust toppled Obi-Wan from his center as he recoiled from the contact. Memories of his submission, shivering on his knees, pushed him further and further into chaos. He struggled to retain his contact with the Force as more memories came flooding back.

Maogg seemed content to dance around the floor, using only enough strength to retain his armlock and keep the two bodies sliding together. Obi-Wan's squirming only served to bring him into closer contact with his foe as he felt his control of the Force slip away like sand through his fingers.

"Why do you keep fighting, boy?" whispered Maogg seductively. "You begged to serve me and I granted your request." He licked Obi-Wan's ear as he thrust his hips forward again. "Come back to your rightful place, in the Mother's eyes you know you belong to me."

Outwardly the apprentice continued to fight, but inside he could feel himself sliding into darkness. ~ It's true. You *did* go to him, begged to serve. ~ He tried to kick his way free, but Maogg kept him pinned. ~ On your knees, you went to him. You were his Jedi bitch, it's all you were good for, it's all you are good for now. ~ A voice kept whispering despairingly in his head. From a very great distance, Obi-Wan seemed to hear a strange ringing.

"You know you belong to me, you want to serve me," whispered Maogg again. "It is the Mother's will. Come to me, I will take care of you. You know you want it."

~ He's right. You gave yourself to him, go back where you belong, no one else wants a used bitch like you. ~ The voice in his head pounded at him as Obi-Wan felt himself weaken, wavering on the edge of a precipice. Again from far away he heard a now frantic ringing and wailing that he dimly recognized as medical monitors on overload. He quickly dismissed the impossible distraction from his thoughts.

Maogg seemed to sense his opportunity as his opponent's struggles began to weaken. He swept Obi-Wan's feet from under him, putting him down to his hands and knees. Keeping Obi-Wan in a head lock with one arm, he used his other hand to rub the apprentice's belly as he continued to whisper alluring inducements. The clansman thrust his hips forward, his hard cock rubbing between the cheeks of the apprentice's ass.

Obi-Wan was immobilized with shock when Maogg's hand swept down to fondle his penis and his well trained body betrayed him by rising swiftly to a full erection. "No," he moaned despairingly. ~ Is it true? Am I really just this bastard's whore? ~

With one last convulsive effort, Obi-Wan twisted around far enough to foil Maogg's effort to put his cock into the apprentice's ass. He got one hand up just enough to grab a handful of hair, his head cranked around just far enough to look into a pair of laughing blue eyes.

Blue eyes. He fought to remember, desperately trying to silence the voice in his head telling him to submit. Vaguely, a whisper on the wind, another voice called to him.

Obi-Wan wavered, caught in a frozen moment in time, his body suspended without feeling, without life.

Blue eyes, soft but commanding. The voice cried out, an anxious plea. "Come back to me, Obi-Wan."

Blue eyes, hard and demanding. "You belong to me, boy. It is the Mother's will."

Blue eyes, deep and pleading. "You are my padawan, Obi-Wan. You belong with me."

Blue eyes, arrogant and self-confident. "Come to me. You have no choice, you must serve me."

Blue eyes, bright with tears. "Come back to me, Padawan. I love you."

The moment of decision crystallized, a sharp knife slashing across his consciousness to shear away the fear and uncertainty clouding his vision. As the fog cleared, memories flooded back, all of the pain and ugliness, and the beliefs that had helped him survive. "I am a Jedi," he whispered. A little louder, as he remembered vividly what those beliefs had cost him the last time he had been forced to choose. "I *am* a Jedi."

Maogg paused in surprise as he felt the body beneath suddenly stiffen in resistance.

Obi-Wan twisted further around, looked into Maogg's eyes. "I am a Jedi," he snarled. "I *can* choose what I do with my life." He smiled as he continued softly, now at peace with himself. "And I choose *not* to submit."

Maogg roared as he tried to regain his hold on his newly energized opponent. Obi-Wan suddenly relaxed and let himself go limp. The maneuver surprised Maogg, who shifted his hold, thinking he could put the apprentice down on the ground. As they moved, Obi-Wan counterattacked with a sharp blow to the ribs, followed by a knee to the groin. Maogg grunted and jumped back.

Obi-Wan rolled and sprang lightly to his feet. He was suddenly suffused with heat, a warm light in his mind as he felt Qui-Gon's presence, urging him to focus, to center himself. The apprentice smiled again as he reached out to the Force, patiently steadying himself as he regained his control.

Once more the opponents warily circled, but by now the extended combat was beginning to affect even their well conditioned bodies. Sweat poured down, reflecting the light, muscles burned, air was gasped through hot, raw throats. Maogg attacked, seeking to wear down his opponent with his strength and weight, but still Obi-Wan danced and countered. The blows became more vicious and desperate as the fight progressed.

Maogg pushed the Jedi to the edges of the clearing; Obi-Wan began drawing on his agility and Force-enhanced acrobatic skills to roll and flip, seemingly escaping by the narrowest of margins. Blood mingled freely with the sweat, liberally spattering the front rows of the crowd. Maogg's assault continued relentlessly, angrily driving the Jedi around the floor. Obi-Wan used all of his patience and skills to defend himself, letting the fight come to him, staying in his center, waiting for the right moment. He was still vaguely aware of Qui-Gon over their bond, encouraging him, supporting him.

The end came suddenly. Maogg sent Obi-Wan to the floor with a stunning two handed blow, and with a roar of triumph came after the apprentice crouched on his knees, shaking his head dizzily. Drawing on a surge of Force energy, Obi-Wan blindly launched himself in a spinning flip over the clansman's head. As he started to come down, he caught Maogg with a devastating kick to the upper back, driving the breath from him. He followed immediately with a sweeping kick which sent the towering clansman heavily to the hard floor. Without pausing, Obi-Wan dived on the recumbent form, drawing another strangled whoof of lost air, and grabbed the right arm. He pulled it around behind the clansman and, with both legs locked around Maogg's lower body to restrain him, Obi-Wan twisted the arm around and pinned it.

The room fell silent save for the labored breathing of the two fighters, loud in the still air. Maogg fruitlessly thrashed and tried to dislodge Obi-Wan, but the Jedi's hold was too strong. The apprentice firmly blocked out the tantalizing sensations as his cock rubbed the hot, sweaty ass beneath him. Obi-Wan twisted the arm some more, and there was a faint cracking of bone and sinews.

"Do you yield?" gasped Obi-Wan.

The only answer was another desperate heave.

"Maogg, I have never lied to you, and I swear to you I will break it if you don't yield," growled the adamant apprentice, twisting the arm a little more.

The clansman was silent and unmoving for a long moment. Finally, he raised his other arm and slapped the ground. "I yield," he grunted.

Obi-Wan released the hold and helped Maogg to his feet. They embraced almost drunkenly, then staggered over to kneel before the chief.

"Hear me, my people," intoned the chief, arms raised. "We have been privileged this night to witness a mighty combat between two great warriors who have honored us with their efforts. The Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi, in lawful challenge given and accepted, has bested the warrior Maogg. The White Panther clan honors its commitments; the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi is declared free of all obligations and service, and we shall help the Jedi to return home. Rise, Maogg and Obi-Wan, and enjoy the hospitality of the clan."

Amidst the cheering of the clanspeople, the two men rose and embraced again.

"Obi-Wan, you fought well...and bested me. Go with honor and friendship," said Maogg, still gasping, holding his hand out.

"I thank for your help...and for letting me challenge you. You were a worthy opponent...and I wish you well," responded Obi-Wan, shaking hands, his own breathing labored. "Go with honor and friendship."

Exhausted but happy, Obi-Wan turned, seeking the one person who mattered most to him. He lurched toward his Master, blackness overcoming him as he stumbled and fell into the welcoming arms.

"I love you, Qui-Gon," murmured the apprentice as he drifted into darkness.

The lights were dim and it took Obi-Wan several moments to orient himself. The first sensation was his right hand; it was hot, enclosed by another's flesh. His eyes burned; shaking his head, beads of sweat went flying from his face. As his eyes adjusted to the low light, he tried to look around, surprised by how stiff and sore he felt.

He was vaguely aware of an excited buzz somewhere in the room.

"Master Healer, he's awake."

To his left, Healer Nolspaq looked at him with relief as Master Healer Hregan and Healer v'braa hurried into the room. On his right side sat his master, eyes half closed, face pale and drawn, sweat dripping and staining his tunic, both hands wrapped around Obi-Wan's right hand. Looking down, the blankets were thrown back, pajamas and sheets soaked in sweat. He blinked his eyes several times to clear them. Trying to sit up, he realized he was incredibly tired, and slipped back down.

"How do you feel, Obi-Wan?" asked Healer Nolspaq gently as she wiped his face with a wet cloth.

"Exhausted," croaked the apprentice.

Qui-Gon released his hand and poured a glass of water from the bedside carafe. Obi-Wan started to take it, but his hand was shaking, so his master helped him hold the glass. The apprentice sipped gratefully at the cool liquid, smiling as it slipped soothingly down his sore throat.

"What happened?" asked Obi-Wan, his voice stronger now. He took several deep breaths to help clear his head.

The other Jedi looked at each other for a moment before Qui-Gon quietly spoke. "What is the last thing you remember before you woke up, Obi-Wan?"

The apprentice frowned as he tried to collect his thoughts. "I had classes as usual...turned in the papers I had finished...had lunch...." He paused a moment, then his expression lightened. "I remember now, we got out early and I went back to our quarters for lunch. I had some extra time so I was catching up on some reading...guess I must have dozed off."

"The afternoon of Fifthday I went to our quarters when you didn't show up for sparring," Qui-Gon said. "When I got there, you were on the couch but you weren't asleep, you were unconscious. When I couldn't wake you, I carried you to the -"

"Wait a minute," Obi-Wan interrupted, "what do you mean, on Fifthday? What's today?"

"It's the evening of Eighthday," Qui-Gon said gently. "You've been unconscious over three days."

"Eighthday?" Obi-Wan whispered, eyes wide.

The Master Healer nodded silently in affirmation.

"You were very deep into some sort of trance until now," Qui-Gon said. "Your shields were so dense it took us most of those three days to work through them." He reached out to touch his apprentice's hand. "You kept withdrawing further and further, almost as if your energy was being diverted somewhere else. I kept trying to send positive thoughts your way, but today ...." Qui-Gon's voice caught as he tightened his grip on the smaller hand. "This afternoon you were thrashing around, sweating, like you were trying to fight, but then...you stopped breathing several times...I thought we had lost you, Obi-Wan."

"Master," breathed the apprentice, "oh, Qui-Gon, I'm so sorry. But I'm here now."

Qui-Gon swallowed as a weak smile chased itself across his face. "Yes, you're back, and that's what is important." He paused. "Two of the Master Healers joined with me, and we were finally able to break through far enough for me to contact you. It was still a struggle, I could feel you fighting, but I couldn't see, all I could do was keep calling, and calling, but you finally came back." Qui-Gon held his apprentice's hand open, kissed the palm, then reached out with one hand to tenderly caress the pale cheek.

The healers had been intently studying the various monitors and devices as they conferred among themselves. Finally Master Hregan nodded and turned to the apprentice.

"You were so far away we weren't sure we were going to be able to pull you back out, Padawan. Your master followed you in, anchored you, and reached out to us also, forming the critical link so we could try to pull you out through him if we had to. Fortunately you were able to make it back on your own." The Healer paused. "That was a very...intense experience, even to us on the periphery who were only seeing the reflection of it. I don't think I have ever seen anything quite like it before. Do you remember what happened to you and where you were?"

Obi-Wan closed his eyes to concentrate. He lay quietly for a long moment, then suddenly gasped as a flood of memories poured in.

"Junmek!" he almost shouted. "I was on Junmek. I was in the prison, and it was cold, so cold, he hit me, and fucked me, the snow came and we fought the guards," the words came tumbling out faster as he started to tremble, "there was another prisoner, and snow, and Maogg, back at the camp, a fight, and and -"

"Obi-Wan, stop!" Qui-Gon grabbed both arms of his rattled apprentice, then held him tight. "Slow down, Obi-Wan, you're home, you're safe."

For several minutes the only sounds in the room were the harsh breathing of the young Jedi and the muted humming of the medical monitors.

Obi-Wan drew a deep, shaky breath, struggled to sit up. Confusion swirled in his dark gray eyes. A tentative hand reached out to touch Qui-Gon's face.

"You...you were dead, Master." He ran one finger along the bearded jawline. "But you came back. We were at the camp where Maogg's clan lived." A pause as he frowned, trying to remember. "You fought Maogg...but I fought Maogg also. It felt so real...." He shook his head, then suddenly stilled, his face turning ghostly white. A monitor rang shrilly as Obi-Wan fell limply back to the bed.

The healers sprang into action, injecting stimulants, checking readings. Qui-Gon gathered the still body into his arms, calling, reaching urgently across their training bond to call his apprentice back. He held him close as the grey eyes slowly opened.

"Master...."

"Obi-Wan, what's wrong?"

"I remembered," Obi-Wan whispered.

"I don't understand."

"Everything." Obi-Wan shook his head, reached to hold his master. "In the dream, I was fighting Maogg, but it was really all about making choices, and I remembered." His voice shook. "All of it, everything that happened on Junmek, the choices I had to make." Obi-Wan grabbed his master's tunics tightly, looked into his eyes. "I really am a Jedi, Master. You see, I couldn't do it, couldn't hurt someone else, couldn't take the easy way out. So in the end I really won. He couldn't take everything away, don't you see?"

"It's alright, Padawan," murmured Qui-Gon, thoroughly confused. "Of course you are a Jedi, a good Jedi. But what are you talking about?"

"You have remembered the other things that happened while you were in prison?" Healer Nolspaq asked gently.

"Yes, yes," Obi-Wan said intensely. His eyes unfocused, looking inward. "I can remember all of it, every single day." He shuddered, closed his eyes, voice dropping to a whisper. "No wonder I tried to push it away. Oh Force...I don't feel very good." Reaching blindly, he found his master's hand and held on desperately.

"Master Hregan, with all due respect, I think it would be better if we let Padawan Kenobi rest for a while with his master," Healer Nolspaq said quietly as she moved toward the bed with a waste container. "I will stay to monitor him."

The Master Healer scrutinized the monitors, then looked closely at Obi-Wan. Finally he nodded. "Very well, since you are his primary Healer. But I expect you to notify us immediately if there are any problems."

"Of course, Master Healer."

The room was quiet, even the monitors subsiding into a dull hum. The Healer retreated to a chair across the room after turning down the lights. Qui-Gon sat on the bed and held Obi-Wan, occasionally wiping his face with a cool, damp cloth. The stillness held for almost an hour, only occasionally disturbed by the minor shifting of one of the room's occupants or the soft beeping of a monitor.

"Master?" Obi-Wan murmured. The apprentice drew a deep breath.

"Yes, Padawan?"

"I'd...I think I would like to take a shower, please." Obi-Wan pulled at the still sweat-damp sleeping shirt. "I feel awfully dirty and sticky."

Qui-Gon looked up as Healer Nolspaq walked over.

"He should be fine, Master Jinn," Healer Nolspaq said softly after a quick survey of the monitors. "He can take a quick shower while we change the bed linens. There are towels and clean nightclothes in the fresher."

"Thank you, I'd like that." Obi-Wan carefully swung himself out of bed, Qui-Gon holding him steady as he stood up. After an initial moment of dizziness, he was able to slowly walk to the fresher, Qui-Gon still beside him. They stopped at the door.

"Are you going to be alright, Padawan?" asked Qui-Gon quietly.

"Yes, Master. I promise I'll call if I need help," replied Obi-Wan. He hesitated a moment, then reached up to pull Qui-Gon's head down long enough to ghost a soft kiss across his lips. "Thank you, Master." He smiled and went into the fresher.

Feeling much better after showering and changing into dry pajamas, Obi-Wan emerged from the fresher to find a freshly made bed and a tray of food. Qui-Gon rose from his chair, but Obi-Wan waved off his assistance. The apprentice carefully walked over and climbed into bed as his Master settled back into his chair beside the bed.

Obi-Wan nibbled on a cookie after deciding that the breddafruit he had eaten was going to stay down. His companions were finishing their sandwiches and fruit.

Master Healer Hregan and Healer v'braa came back into the room.

"You're looking fitter, Padawan," the Master Healer said. "How do you feel?"

"I feel much better, Master Healer," Obi-Wan replied. He took a sip of tea, feeling the unspoken questions hanging in the air.

There was a long silence as the Master Healer slowly surveyed the instruments, glanced at Healer Nolspaq, then went to stand beside the bed. "Are you ready to talk about what happened earlier tonight, Padawan?" he asked quietly but firmly.

"Yes, Master Healer," Obi-Wan said. He held the mug of tea between his hands, savoring the warmth. Slowly he looked around the room, his gaze finally settling on his master. "For a while now I've known that I have repressed memories of what happened on Junmek, and I think that it was starting to bother me more and more. I was having trouble concentrating, trouble sleeping and was getting tired." He stopped as Qui-Gon nodded in affirmation.

Obi-Wan took another long sip of tea, letting the hot sweetness trickle down his throat, then set the mug aside. He settled back into the pile of pillows, then linked his fingers behind his head, staring up at the ceiling.

"The last thing I really remember was sitting back on the couch, reading. I must have dozed off and slipped into a dream. To me, it seemed like I was reliving those last few days in prison." He paused, frowned a little. "It wasn't exactly like it really happened, but pretty close until we got ready to escape. I forced Maogg to agree to let me fight after we got out." He drew a deep breath, glanced at Qui-Gon. "When we got back to the camp, things turned out very differently. My master was there, but he took the Force dampener off and I fought Maogg instead of Qui-Gon. Even with the Force, it was a hard fight. We fought naked.... Maogg kept talking to me, touching me." Obi-Wan fell silent, his eyes half-closed. The others waited patiently.

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. "It was a very near thing," he said softly. "Maogg almost had me convinced to give up...I couldn't control the Force, kept thinking how I had submitted to him earlier." He sat up in a cross-legged position, leaned forward. Obi-Wan reached out to his master, gently grasped the offered hand. "It was a very close thing, but I could feel Qui-Gon's support, feel him reaching out to me. Then Maogg talked about choices, that I belonged to him because it was the Mother's will...it was then it all came back. I remembered everything that had happened in prison. All the pain, all the humiliation...all the hatefulness." His grip tightened on Qui-Gon's hand. "I *had* made the choice to submit to Maogg, I *did* do a lot of things I wasn't proud of, but when it really mattered I also made a choice to stay true to my Jedi principles. That was one of the worst things that happened when I was in there, and it was after that I started trying to deliberately block out the memories."

There was a long silence, broken only by the humming of the monitors. Obi-Wan reached out with his free hand for another sip of tea, carefully put the mug back down.

"You know, Maogg and I used to argue a lot," Obi-Wan finally said, seemingly at random. "Well, perhaps discuss is a more appropriate word, since Maogg almost never raised his voice. He was very good at knowing how far he could push me, what sort of punishment I would hate the worst, but not at understanding why I did some things relatively willingly and didn't like to do other things. Even after we got back to the camp, though, and I saw more of how his people lived, how they thought, I still don't think I really understood him. I'm not sure I ever will."

Qui-Gon tried unsuccessfully to hide the grin that sprang unbidden to his lips.

"What?" Obi-Wan demanded, sitting up straighter, an indignant expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, Padawan," Qui-Gon said placatingly. "I wasn't laughing at you; I was remembering something Maogg said. We were talking that last morning at the White Panther camp, and Maogg said almost exactly the same thing about not understanding you."

"Oh." Obi-Wan shrugged. He cocked an eyebrow thoughtfully. "We did seem to talk past each other a lot." He leaned back, nestling into the pile of pillows again, but retained a firm grip on Qui-Gon's hand.

"In any event, in prison I belonged to Maogg. Not only did I provide personal service, he used me to trade for things. A lot of our discussions were about that, but I usually lost, of course. It got worse the longer we were in there because Maogg became less tolerant, and I guess I got more used to just putting up with things so I wouldn't be punished. The last few tendays in prison it seemed like we barely even spoke to each other at all."

"So there was one particular event where you had to make a choice?" Healer Nolspaq tried to gently nudge the apprentice back on track.

"Yes," Obi-Wan said quietly. "Among the high security prisoners there tended to be small groups led by the strongest prisoners and a number of prisoners who sort of floated around the edges, so to speak. On our floor, about eight cells down from mine, there were two `floaters'. One was an older man, Vendru, who was lovers with a young prisoner, Chunja. Chunja was a big guy, really strong, but at some time somebody had hurt him very badly. He had a huge scar on one side of his head and was basically simple-minded. Vendru took care of him, and they had enough money that their families sent to them that they could usually bribe the groups to leave them alone."

Obi-Wan paused as if thinking.

"We had been in prison for many tendays when Maogg was approached by a prisoner named Gasil, one of the nastiest, most vicious group leaders. Gasil proposed a deal: if Maogg would have me fight Chunja, then Gasil would cut him in on the profits from betting and get him a new pair of boots. Maogg thought it was perfectly reasonable. He needed the boots and he figured that Chunja wouldn't do any significant damage to me." Obi-Wan paused again thoughtfully. "It probably would have been a difficult fight. Chunja may have been mentally impaired, but he was a lot bigger than me and could fight well if pushed. I knew I would have to hurt him to win, and they would expect me to fuck him afterwards. Of course, when Maogg explained what he wanted me to do, I refused. We argued for two days."

Stirring restlessly, Obi-Wan fell silent again. He sighed, rubbed his chin with the back of his free hand, stared down at the blanket covering his legs. He worried his lower lip between his teeth.

"Did Maogg punish you for refusing?" Healer Nolspaq softly asked, trying to encourage the apprentice to continue.

Obi-Wan drew a deep breath, held it for a long minute before slowly letting it out. Eyes still fixed downward, he finally answered. "It was our most serious disagreement since I first submitted to him. Maogg didn't want to permanently damage me; we both knew that. He also knew what sorts of punishments I hated the most." Obi-Wan hunched his shoulders, dropping his head. "Maogg gave me a choice. I could fight Chunja, or he ...." Obi-Wan's voice dropped to a whisper as his grip on Qui-Gon's hand tightened. "He threatened to let Gasil and his men fuck me in the exercise yard. Either way he figured he would get new boots from Gasil."

The room was quiet again save for the Obi-Wan's ragged breathing. A monitor bleated plaintively to mark the apprentice's spiking heart beats.

"What happened?" Healer Nolspaq nudged again.

"There were two days until the next exercise session, so I had two days to think about it. Vendru knew...Force, everyone on the floor had heard. When we went to eat together, I had to watch Vendru both nights. He was sitting with Chunja, making sure he ate, but he'd look at me and I could see he was sick with fear and hatred, knowing he couldn't possibly outbid Gasil to make Maogg stop." Obi-Wan closed his eyes, shuddered a little. "Chunja just sat there, smiling like he always did, totally oblivious to anything except Vendru. He had the biggest, softest brown eyes, like a baby showla bear...." Obi-Wan drifted off, lost in memories.

Stirring with an abrupt start, Obi-Wan sat up straight. He turned to Qui-Gon, reached to hold both hands. "I couldn't do it, Master," Obi-Wan said softly, looking into Qui-Gon's eyes, seeking reassurance. "I told Maogg I wouldn't fight. I couldn't hurt others to save myself from punishment."

"You did the right thing, Padawan," Qui-Gon said firmly, a smile on his face and in his eyes. He raised Obi-Wan's hands to softly kiss the knuckles. "It was a hard thing to do, but it was the right thing. I am very proud of you, my Padawan."

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan replied. He paused, took a deep breath. "Maogg didn't say anything more; in the end he didn't seem to really care what I decided as long as he got what he wanted. We went out to the yard as usual. The exercise groups were supposed to be random selection, but Gasil had bribed the guard to ensure that his entire group was there. There was Gasil and his personal bitch, plus Gasil's five men and their two bitches. When we got to the yard, Maogg took my clothes and tied a rope to the ring in my penis. He and Gasil negotiated for a few minutes. Maogg wanted more if the bitches participated and Gasil wanted to pay less because Maogg insisted they use lube. They finally struck a deal and Maogg handed over the rope and a big bottle of oil."

Obi-Wan stopped, closed his eyes. He swallowed hard, then sat silently for a few minutes. Opening his eyes again, he glanced around the room before fixing his gaze back on Qui-Gon.

"For almost two hours I had to put up with whatever Gasil and his bunch wanted while I just tried to blank everything out," Obi-Wan continued in a flat, emotionless tone. "They paraded me around, pulling on the rope, spit on me, put me down on hands and knees so they could fuck me. They put a bitch at my mouth and ass and were taking bets to see who would come first. I think I fellated every single one of them and Gasil sold blow jobs to several of the other prisoners." He paused, licked dry lips. "Maogg did keep a very close eye on them and made sure they didn't do any major physical damage, but it was incredibly humiliating. The last thing I remember before I was given back was being on my knees, head down. Gasil fucked me again, then pissed on me with this big smirk on his face."

Stopping again, Obi-Wan swallowed a couple of times, coughed. Qui-Gon pulled his hands free to give Obi-Wan a glass of water. The apprentice smiled gratefully, took several sips.

"When Gasil handed me back over, Maogg punched him in the face." A small rueful smile flashed across Obi-Wan's face. "I guess pissing on me wasn't part of the deal. It didn't go any further, though, because the guards were already rounding everyone up to go back in. I remember Gasil still had that big smirk on his face, even with blood pouring out his nose." He paused, leaned back into his pillows again, glass of water still in hand. "Anyway, a couple of days later when we got back to our cell after our next exercise session, there was a nice pair of new boots, a new belt, and a big box of fresh fruit, the good stuff, not the seconds or thirds we were usually fed. Physically, I recovered in a few days. I do have to say that Maogg took his duties as mazhten very seriously; aside from making sure I wasn't `damaged', he also made a point of sharing the fruit equally with me. A day later Gasil and his people were transferred to different floors." Obi-Wan took several more sips of water, then handed the glass back to Qui-Gon. "It was after that incident that I actively started trying to push a lot of memories away, to lock them away so I wouldn't have to relive them any more." He shook his head, a half smile briefly on his lips. "Obviously I was more successful than I realized. I brought back a lot of baggage from Junmek that I didn't even know I had."

Master Healer Hregan stirred.

"Padawan Kenobi, you've been through a very difficult experience and have come a long way back. I still have some concerns, however. You believe you have now recovered all of your memories and are no longer blocking anything out. The way you recovered them, however, was very traumatic; after all, you did come very close to dying while you were so deep in that trance." Smiling sympathetically, he moved closer, standing by the edge of the bed. "Would you allow me, or at least your master, past your shields? Physically, you are recovering, but it would be good to have your mental well-being checked to see if there are any other problems."

Obi-Wan bit his lower lip as he tried to sink further back into the pillows. He had always disliked having to be treated by the healers, but he hated having anyone else inside his head. His gaze swung around, from the Master Healer's professional interest, Healer Nolspaq's kindly reassuring smile, finally settling on Qui-Gon's familiar features.

"Master?" Obi-Wan asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Padawan?"

"If someone has to look, I'd rather it be you."

"Of course, Padawan. But I should bring the Master Healer along so he can verify your status."

Obi-Wan sighed, nodded resignedly. He grasped Qui-Gon's hand, closed his eyes, and slowly lowered his shields.

For almost twenty minutes the two Jedi Masters carefully sifted and probed, looking closely for signs of trauma, breaks in thought patterns or other lingering indications of damage. Although he tried not to be invasive, Qui-Gon could not avoid being drawn into the apprentice's web of memories as they searched deeper into his thoughts. His expression remained neutral, but his grip on his apprentice's hand became tighter and tighter, the flesh almost turning white before the Master Healer finally touched Qui-Gon's shoulder to signal him to withdraw.

Obi-Wan drew a deep breath as he felt the other presence leave his mind. Opening his eyes, he looked anxiously at the Master Healer. "Well?" he asked. "What's the verdict?"

Master Healer Hregan cocked an eyebrow. "On the whole, it would appear that you have made good progress toward recovery as I found no indications of any major abnormalities. You do seem to have recovered a great deal of information about the events on Junmek. Some of that is still a bit fuzzy, though, and there are indications that there may still be some residual impacts from the depth of the memory blocking you did." He turned to Healer Nolspaq. "There is one thing that is puzzling, though. Healer Nolspaq, your reports indicated that Padawan Kenobi had developed heightened uncertainty and mental fearfulness after the incident with the revelation of the `green tag' memories. I found no such traces in Padawan Kenobi's mind, nor was there anything untoward in his training bond with Master Jinn."

"It was definitely there," Healer Nolspaq replied. She looked at Obi-Wan. "I could feel it in his Force aura at our last few sessions. It was even having a physical impact because he was not sleeping well."

"I agree there was something happening with Obi-Wan's thoughts. There was a shadowy feeling growing in our bond, almost an irritating buzz," Qui-Gon said, "but I don't feel it any more."

The room was quiet as Obi-Wan calmed himself and sought the feeling of darkness that had become his constant companion. A wide smile began stretching across his face and he laughed delightedly as he opened his eyes.

"You are both right," he declared. "The darkness is gone. In fact, except for being so tired, I can't remember feeling this good in ages."

"There was certainly a feeling of satisfaction in your thoughts," Master Healer Hregan confirmed. "I would say that reliving the experience on Junmek and defeating Maogg was perhaps symbolic of regaining your memories, overcoming the pain of those memories and seems to have served as a major catharsis. There was a definite reduction in the feelings of guilt and self-doubt noted in all of your earlier reports, which I would attribute to remembering that you did hold true to your teachings despite the personal cost to you."

Obi-Wan reached out take Qui-Gon's hand again. He raised it to his lips and kissed it softly, his unspoken gratitude shining in his eyes and smile. Turning his head back to his left, he asked, "So, is it over now?"

"Well, it's not quite that simple, young man," said Master Healer Hregan as Healer Nolspaq grinned. "You will still need some follow-up examinations and therapy for a while to verify your stability and recovery, and we need to help you sort out the memories you have recovered about your experience on Junmek. I suspect, though, that this was a critical point for you, and you are well on your way to recovery."

"Can I at least go home now?" Obi-Wan asked eagerly.

"We would like you to stay here for tonight so we can monitor your recovery. After you wake up and eat, we'll check you out again. If everything looks good, we'll have you out of here as soon as we can. Fair enough?"

"Well, since it doesn't look like I have much choice, I guess so," Obi-Wan replied.

"I don't expect any problems with dreams or other Force disturbances, but this room is shielded so you don't need to worry about bothering anyone else," said Healer Nolspaq. "Healer v'braa is submitting our initial report for the Master Healer and he will also notify the Master at Arms office that Master Jinn's presence is required here until we release both of you. I will also make sure the duty attendants know that they are not to let anyone from the MA's office in to bother you. There is still plenty of food left on the tray if you are hungry. When you wake up in the morning and are ready to eat, just press the blue button on this panel and the day staff will bring in breakfast for both of you." She paused, her gaze taking in both men. "Any questions, gentlemen?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "Thank you, Healer Nolspaq."

"Yes, thank you, Healer," added Obi-Wan. "I know I haven't always been a very good patient, but I do appreciate what you've done for me."

"All part of the service, boys," said the Healer airily as she headed for the door. "Sleep well."

The room was still after the door closed. Obi-Wan downed two more pieces of fruit before he realized that his Master was sitting motionless in the chair, chin on his chest. "You're very quiet, Master."

"It was a difficult experience, Padawan," replied Qui-Gon very softly. He raised his head. "You went in so deep I almost thought we had lost you at first." He swallowed, taking a moment to compose himself. "For so long I couldn't reach you at all, then it looked like you might die and all I could do was watch. Later, when we were probing your memories...." His voice caught again. He continued softly, "I knew it was difficult for you, but I did not realize just how painful and terrible it had been. I saw your memories of Junmek, the whole thing, not just bits and pieces from your dreams. Obi-Wan, you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for to have survived such an experience and to be able to return and fight for yourself. Not only I am glad to have you back, but I am proud of you for what you have accomplished."

"I could not have done it without your help, Master. You were always there for me," replied Obi-Wan. He held out his hand, waited as Qui-Gon reached out to clasp it. "You made me who I am, and you helped me find myself and the Force again when I was lost. I could not have done any of it without your support." The apprentice pulled steadily on his Master's hand until Qui-Gon rose and stood beside the bed. "That chair looks very uncomfortable, Master. There is plenty of room for you to sleep here."

"Obi-Wan, I don't think -"

"Would you just get your butt in bed, Qui-Gon," interrupted the apprentice firmly. "The Healer said to rest and I can't sleep with you way over there in that Sithdamned chair."

"Oh, alright," grumped Qui-Gon. He bent down to unbuckle and remove his boots, mumbling under his breath about `pushy padawans', as Obi-Wan slid over in the bed to make room. Qui-Gon made a brief show of wrapping his cloak around himself before pointedly getting on the bed on top of the blankets.

Obi-Wan smiled fondly as he settled himself in to sleep, comforted by the solid presence next to him and the hum of affection over their bond. His last thought before he drifted off was that life was definitely going to be interesting in the future.

On to part 6...