Master Apprentice Archive Quick search:

Jailbait

by KatBear (katbear@cox.net)

Archive: MA, QJEB, BIC. Any others please ask.
Category: angst, non-con, h/c, first time (sort of)
Rating: NC17
Pairing: O/other, Q/O
Feedback: Appreciated, especially constructive criticism. Grammar, plotline, characters, continuity or whatever - if you think something could be improved please let me know.
Thanks to the beta readers - for help with comments and encouragement, Thalia for the first draft, Tem-Ve and Gloriana for plowing through the monster final draft, and especially Emu for putting up with so many iterations of the story and letting me know honestly when things sucked (which is really only fair since it was her little bunny that grew up into this ravening beast). All mistakes are definitely my own since I can't resist tweaking.
Summary: A mission goes wrong, Obi-Wan ends up in prison and gets a new cellmate. Serious issues ensue.
Warnings: If you don't like male-male relationships you are in the wrong place. Language, a fair bit of Obi-abuse and noncon sex.
Spoilers: None, pre-TPM.
Disclaimer: The boys belong to George Lucas, I'm just playing with them. No profit is intended or made.

~ ~ Character internal thoughts
* * emphasis

Back to part 2...

Obi-Wan lay silently under the heavy blanket, his guts knotted, his thoughts running on a tired treadmill of anger and pain. He clutched a pillow to his chest, his back warmed by the heat of the clansman spooned behind him. He was thankful that Maogg had not demanded service before quickly dropping off to sleep, but he could feel the heavy cock nudging his naked ass, and he remembered the sounds of sex coming from many of the cubicles inside the building as people drifted back from the gathering.

~ How could he do this to me? I thought everything would be fixed if I could only get out of that place, and it was so wonderful to find out that Qui-Gon is alive. But everything is so wrong now. How can I trust him when he pushed me away? My own master, telling me I have to stay in this miserable place, serve as ranshurr. How could he possibly do this to me? ~

For hours the young man drifted in a fog of dull hurt, beyond tears. Obi-Wan was so preoccupied he failed to notice when Maogg quietly rose and slipped on leggings and boots.

"Oww!" Obi-Wan yelped at the sudden sharp sting across his ass. "What the hell -" Another swat silenced him as he was yanked out of bed.

"The Mother is bright," Maogg said quietly. There were quiet murmurs and shuffling in the common area.

Obi-Wan pulled on his leggings and boots in the dim light, grabbed his cloak, then grudgingly followed Maogg as they joined the line of people heading out the door.

The night was crisp and clear, a slight breeze making Obi-Wan grateful for the warmth of the heavy cloak. The clan gathered in a circle, kneeling close together, faces up to the soft light of the stars and bright half moon. Laregg slipped in beside the apprentice, smiling at Obi-Wan and Maogg before directing his attention upward.

The chief Luthej began with a short chant, smooth baritone rising softly above the crowd. The entire clan then joined in, a surprisingly harmonious voice ringing through the valley and ascending to the heavens. Despite himself, Obi-Wan was slowly lifted from his wallow of angry self-pity by the energy and power of the singing. The joy of life, gratitude for the Mother's gifts, pleasure and honor in serving Her; of all these things the clan sang with simple clarity and sincerity as they shared the warmth of each other's bodies and spirits. By the time they were finished, Obi-Wan almost felt as if he had been able to touch the Force once more despite the inhibiting collar.

As the last clear note drifted across the valley, every one stood. Before the clanspeople could begin dispersing, Qui-Gon called out.

"I request a boon of the White Panther clan."

There was silence for several moments as the chief stepped forward and looked at the Jedi Master. "You have new business to bring before the clan?"

"Yes. I have little time before I or my apprentice must return to my own people, and the matter is urgent."

"Very well." The chief raised his voice. "Send the children and younglings back to bed. Let all others meet in the clan house."

A few minutes later the central house was relit and full of curious people. Conversations hummed around the long room.

The chief raised his arms. "Silence. Master Jinn wishes to address the clan. We shall listen to his request."

Qui-Gon bowed to the chief. "I thank you for your time and attention. There is a custom of the clans that I wish to invoke, if I may be allowed. It is an old custom, seldom used, but I believe it is appropriate in this situation."

"Of course, Master Jinn. You have honored us with your observation of our ways, even though they are so different from your own. Please proceed."

"Thank you, chief, people of the White Panther." Qui-Gon turned and moved to stand in front of Maogg. "Maogg, you have in your service, as your ranshurr, the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Yes," acknowledged Maogg, his expression puzzled.

"I offer myself in exchange for Obi-Wan," said Qui-Gon. He took a deep breath and went to one knee before the clansman. "Free him, and I promise to obey and serve you in all things for the term of Obi-Wan's service to you."

The room instantly filled with buzzing of stunned conversations and stamping of feet. Such a thing had not been seen in many years, not in most people's lifetimes, and certainly not by such a distinguished warrior.

Obi-Wan was probably the most stunned of all. He knew all too well the full extent of the `service' that was required; the thought of his proud and elegant master reduced to menial duties and a convenient sex object was unbearable. On his knees he threw himself between the two men.

"No," he cried. "Master, I can't let you do this. Maogg, I will stay with you, I'll do whatever you want. Please don't take my Master."

Maogg cuffed the apprentice hard, sending him sprawling to the floor. "This is not for you to say. Be silent." Maogg looked appraisingly at the Jedi master kneeling before him as the miserable apprentice lay on the floor, wiping blood from his split lip. The room finally quieted enough for Maogg to be heard.

"Master Jinn, you understand that obedience is absolute and service includes *all* things of body and mind, whenever and wherever I choose?"

Qui-Gon looked up into the blue eyes that mirrored his own. "I understand what the service of ranshurr requires," he said softly, "and you have my word that I shall serve all of your needs."

Maogg stood for a moment with hands on hips, looking back and forth from older to younger Jedi. Very slowly he walked around the Jedi Master, then stopped in front of him. He reached out with one hand, running a tentative thumb along Qui-Gon's jawline, tracing the edge of the beard.

~ No, no, please Force, don't let him do this. ~ Obi-Wan watched, cursing the inhibiting collar that prevented him from contacting his Master or influencing the outcome, desperately willing the clansman to refuse the exchange. He cringed when Maogg touched Qui-Gon, fear and disgust warring with a flare of possessive jealousy.

Qui-Gon continued to kneel silently, looking steadily up at the clansman as Maogg ran a rough hand through the Jedi's long hair, then a light fingertip across his lips. The crowd murmured speculatively as the inspection continued.

Maogg stepped back, licking his lower lip as he looked at Qui-Gon. Once more he looked contemplatively at the apprentice, who knelt, shaking his head, mouthing his plea silently. Finally he looked back at the older Jedi, then sighed heavily.

"Your offer is very tempting, Master Jinn. The taming and taking of one such as you would bring much honor and pleasure to the Mother."

There was a low drone of whispered excitement in the room as the clansman took one last look at the two Jedi.

Finally, Maogg shook his head regretfully. "Unfortunately, I can not accept your offer."

Qui-Gon clenched his hands as Obi-Wan sighed in relief, the small sound lost in the collective gasp.

"I have offered in good faith and sworn to serve you," Qui-Gon said fiercely. "My word has always been good with the people of White Panther. Why will you not accept my plea?"

"I do not doubt the sincerity of your offer and your willingness to serve," Maogg replied with another shake of his head. "Your offer is truly tempting, but the Mother requires that the obligation of service flow both ways, Master Jinn. I could care for your physical well-being, but I fear there is little I could teach you that you don't already know better than I. No, I could not honorably fulfill my obligations to you, and I can not accept your offer. Kenobi must stay here."

Finally accepting defeat, Qui-Gon's shoulders sagged as he swallowed hard. Anguish filled his eyes as he looked at his fallen apprentice. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan."

There was an appreciative silence in the room as the two Jedi looked at each other. Pain was evident on both faces, regret and longing hanging the in the air. Obi-Wan was torn inside by conflicting emotions: grateful that his beloved master would not be forced to serve but miserable that he had to stay.

The long silence was broken by Laregg. "Master Jinn, there is another custom you may wish to invoke."

Qui-Gon stood up, a small glimmer of hope in his dull eyes. "What is that custom?"

"You have the right to request of the council that you be allowed to challenge Maogg for ownership of Obi-Wan."

"You should not encourage such challenges," the chief objected sharply, turning on his son. "It is seldom allowed; it causes too much dissension and ill-feelings, and has led to death challenges in the past. Why would you suggest this now?"

Laregg stood up, head high, to address the chief and the clan council. "It is clear to me that these two men of the clan Jedi care for each other a great deal and wish very much to leave together. Obi-Wan was only doing his clan duty when he ended up in the prison and became Maogg's ranshurr. Master Jinn has strictly observed our customs when he could easily have just taken his apprentice and left in the night. By the Jedi clan customs, he is Obi-Wan's rightful master, but has yielded to his sworn word to obey White Panther customs. If there is another way, a legitimate way within our customs, for the master to reclaim his apprentice, it is only right that we allow this opportunity." He turned to Qui-Gon. "If the council approves, the challenge need not be to the death, only to the surrender by one man. If you lose, however, Maogg can claim both of you."

"Thank you, Laregg, I will gladly take that chance," replied Qui-Gon with a small, grateful smile. He turned to the chief. "If it be your will, and the will of your people, I wish to make this petition to the council."

The chief looked around the room, noting the nodding heads and shouts of "Yes," and "Let the Jedi petition." He reluctantly turned back to Qui-Gon as the room quieted again. "Very well, Master Jinn. You may put your request forward. On your own head be the results."

Qui-Gon nodded to acknowledge the chief's acquiescence, then stepped forward and knelt before the four men and two women who sat on the front bench to the chief's right. "I petition the council of the White Panther clan for permission to challenge Maogg for ownership of the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi."

The room buzzed with conversation as the group conferred for several minutes. Obi-Wan's thoughts were in turmoil again. He felt like he was being whipsawed between joy and anxiety. The new hope that Qui-Gon might have found a way to reclaim him was offset by the fear that they would both end up as ranshurr. Unable to affect the outcome, he could only observe helplessly. Meanwhile, both Qui-Gon and Maogg waited impassively for the council's decision.

Finally a white-haired woman rose. "The council grants permission for the challenge. No weapons are allowed, it must be done immediately and the challenge ends when one man yields."

"Thank you." Qui-Gon immediately stood and turned to Maogg. "I challenge you for ownership of Obi-Wan Kenobi. If I win, Obi-Wan is mine. If I lose, both Obi-Wan and I will serve you as ranshurr, and I will help you find things to teach me to satisfy your honor. What say you, Maogg?"

Maogg looked at Obi-Wan for a moment, then took a very long look at Qui-Gon, appraising him. Finally a wolfish grin spread slowly across his face. "I accept your challenge, Master Jinn," Maogg said, hands on his hips. "I look forward to a battle with such a worthy opponent." The grin spread even wider. "I shall enjoy even more breaking you in for the Mother."

Qui-Gon looked back calmly. "We shall see."

The two combatants withdrew to opposite ends of the building to prepare as the center of the building was rapidly cleared, benches piled along the walls. The buzz and chatter of excitement reverberated in the air, tension rapidly building until it was almost visible.

Maogg was already wearing only pants and boots and needed only to remove his belt and boot knives. While they waited for Qui-Gon to finish his preparations, the clansman turned to Obi-Wan, whom he had brought with him. He pulled the young Jedi into a dark corner, away from the crowd.

"Strip."

"Surely you're not serious," said Obi-Wan, glaring at Maogg.

"You still belong to me. I have been lenient because I know it has been very difficult for you, and because you helped save the chief's son, but I will not tolerate any further disobedience or disrespect," replied Maogg sternly. "I wish to show my people that you are a prize worth fighting for. Strip."

"Yes, Mazhten," said Obi-Wan. He still glared balefully at the clansman, but bit down hard on his tongue to keep from any further outbursts. He hated the idea of being paraded around naked in front of Qui-Gon and the clan, but hated even more the idea of being disciplined where his master might see him.

When the young Jedi was naked, Maogg knelt before him and locked a fine silver chain onto the ring set into the end of Obi-Wan's penis. He loosened the base cock ring and began fondling the flaccid organ; when it was not sufficiently responsive he reached a hand between the apprentice's legs and inserted a long digit into Obi-Wan's anus to stimulate the prostate. Although he was grateful for the dark corner and for the fact that Maogg stood between him and the crowd, Obi-Wan was still burning with embarrassment both from the relatively public handling and the arousal he now displayed. Looking up, he saw Bavod watching them; Obi-Wan wanted to crawl out the door and hide but had to settle for closing his eyes. When Maogg was satisfied with the full erection, he tightened the cock ring, drawing a grunt from the young man.

Holding the end of the chain in his left hand, Maogg stepped forward into the light and gave an inarticulate roar. Satisfied that he had everyone's attention, he began pacing around the perimeter of the cleared area, the tugging of the chain forcing Obi-Wan to follow. Twice around the perimeter they went, Maogg extolling the virtues of the prize, running a hand down his shoulder and across his abdomen to point out his muscles, tweaking a nipple and patting the bare buttocks with a leer, forcing the apprentice's head up to point out his good looks and intelligence, while the crowd cheered or commented. It mattered little to Obi-Wan that the comments were admiring or pleased instead of crude and hateful; the whole experience was too reminiscent of being back in the prison. The sympathetic smile from Laregg as they passed made hardly a dent in the apprentice's disgust and loathing.

Obi-Wan had never felt so totally exposed. It seemed his entire body blushed hot scarlet; he could feel the individual drops of sweat forming, then dripping, from his own heat. Every touch of Maogg's hand was a searing brand across his naked skin. The smell of massed bodies and smoke clogged his nostrils; every word, every crackle of the fire, every jingle of the chain filled his ears. His mouth was dry as he sucked for air, the taste of bile bitter in the back of his throat. Every tug on the silver chain pulled painfully at his throbbing cock; he could feel every pebble and sharp rock under his bare feet, every stray breeze on his skin. Time seemed to have stopped, each step taking an eternity as Obi-Wan battled the fear that Maogg would decide to fondle him or fuck him in front of his master.

Qui-Gon was at one end of the circle in leggings and boots doing a few simple stretches; each time they passed him Obi-Wan cringed inwardly, the blush ratcheting even higher as he begged the Force to open a hole in the floor and drop him in it. He snatched furtive glances, but could not tell from Qui-Gon's empty expression if his master was disgusted or angry. When they had finished two complete circuits, Maogg directed Obi-Wan to stand on a bench next to the chief and locked the loose end of the chain to the chief's chair. He held the key up for all to see, waggled it at Qui-Gon with a challenging laugh, then with a flourish handed the key to the chief for safekeeping.

The crowd quieted as Jedi and clansman moved to the center of the cleared area. They bowed to the chief, turned to face each other and bowed again. At the chief's signal, they dropped into a crouch and began warily circling. Both men were in excellent physical condition and well versed in unarmed combat skills; the first several minutes were spent in feints and seeking potential weaknesses. They glided smoothly about the circle, taking advantage of the full space as they began seriously engaging. Maogg was the active aggressor; Obi-Wan was reminded of the endless drills in the training salles when his master would emphasize letting opponents expend their energies on the attack while conserving his on defense.

Qui-Gon let the clansman force him around the circle; smoothly defending but rarely counterattacking unless he had a clear advantage. Maogg had the advantage of youth, strength and aggressiveness, but Qui-Gon's patience and battle experience eventually began to frustrate the clansman. After twenty minutes both men were breathing heavily; Qui-Gon was bleeding from several scratches and the recent scar on his left shoulder had been partially reopened during a bone-crunching wrestling tussle. The crowd was quiet, awed and respectful of the exceptional battle being enacted before them.

Maogg began attacking Qui-Gon's left side as the Jedi tried to hide an apparently weakened arm. It seemed that Maogg now had the advantage; with a swift move he had Qui-Gon locked in a wrestling hold and was twisting his right arm painfully. It was then that Qui-Gon exploded in a counterattack; he shifted around and with his supposedly weakened left arm slammed Maogg's head back.

Both men jumped to their feet but Qui-Gon was suddenly relentless, hammering home blow after blow as he forced his rapidly weakening opponent around the circle. The crunching of bone preceded a gush of blood from a broken nose, a loose tooth was spat into the crowd, blood and sweat mixed freely.

Qui-Gon forced Maogg to the ground with a sweeping kick and was immediately on him, one knee grinding into the small of his back as he pulled the head back for a killing blow. For several seconds Qui-Gon held the position as the room stilled to silence. The silence stretched as Qui-Gon slowly pulled the head back further, an agonizing fraction of an inch at a time, bones cracking like shots, as the clansman desperately but futilely struggled. Finally Maogg slapped the ground with his free hand and croaked out through the stranglehold, "I yield."

Qui-Gon immediately released the clansman as the room erupted in cheers and stamping feet. He helped Maogg to his feet and the two men embraced before staggering toward the chief. They stood with chests heaving, bloody sweat pouring down. Obi-Wan jumped down from the bench, cheering with the crowd, a huge grin on his face, almost radiating joy.

"Qui-Gon Jinn...has honorably bested me," panted Maogg. "I yield...to the Jedi...Obi-Wan belongs to him."

The chief rose and signaled for silence. "You have heard and witnessed. In fair combat, Maogg yields to Qui-Gon Jinn. Ownership of the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi is hereby transferred to Master Jinn." There was more stamping of feet as the chief gave the key to Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon bowed respectfully, held the key up, then ceremoniously began to unlock the chain.

"Thank you, Master," whispered Obi-Wan happily, "I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful I feel."

"Hold that thought, Padawan," whispered Qui-Gon dryly, still breathing heavily, as he finished unlocking the chain from the chief's chair. "We're not quite finished with local customs yet."

"What?" asked Obi-Wan, confused.

The apprentice's question was answered the next moment by a sudden tug on the chain as Qui-Gon led his apprentice around the room by the chain attached to his still painfully erect cock so that all could see and acknowledge the change of ownership.

~ Just a fucking minute, ~ Obi-Wan thought, his joy rapidly turning to anger, highly mortified at this turn of events under his new owner. ~ This is carrying local custom a little *too* far. ~

Finishing up before the chief and council, Qui-Gon bowed again and thanked them for their hospitality.

Obi-Wan finally noticed all of the people looking expectantly at him while Qui-Gon was speaking and a horrible thought occurred to the embarrassed apprentice. ~ Just how far is he going to take this local custom thing? ~ His stomach churned as he remembered that first day with Maogg.

~ Surely he wouldn't go through with the milking? ~ Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon's sweaty back, fervently wishing once more the collar was gone so he could reach out over their training bond. ~ Would he? ~

The apprentice swallowed hard and began a heartfelt prayer to the Force. ~ Please, not that.... ~ A panicky sweat began pouring down his face and once more he felt terribly exposed in his nakedness, imagining that everyone was staring at his hard cock trapped by the heavy ring circling its base.

Qui-Gon turned to address the entire gathering, shooting a sharp glance at his apprentice as if sensing his concerns despite the absence of their bond. "People of the White Panther clan, I wish to thank all of you for your graciousness, your help and your hospitality. One other thing I must also ask of you; understanding of the Jedi customs. I know that among the clans a new owner normally establishes his claim by milking his ranshurr -"

There was a wave of murmurs from the crowd.

Obi-Wan's sphincter tightened, his heart racing as his hands clenched into white knuckled fists. ~ Please, not that, not here, not now.... ~

"I would ask you to understand that this is not the Jedi way. Among our people, this is a very private thing, for two people to be together in intimate union or sexual activity. I will be taking Obi-Wan back, to reaffirm our relationship before our council of elders. We are Master and Padawan again, and shall return to our normal relationship at home. In the name of the Jedi, I thank you again for all of your help. May the Mother's blessing be on you."

There was a moment of silence, then Obi-Wan breathed a huge sigh of relief as he saw a few heads begin nodding.

Maogg stepped up and proclaimed loudly, "That is fair." He hugged Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. "May the Mother's blessing go with you, my friends." Laregg was right behind him, hugging the two men as a general wave of nods and assent swept the room.

The chief then indicating that the ceremonies were completed, the clan broke up, many coming by to congratulate the Jedi Master before they returned to their beds for the remainder of the night.

"Obi-Wan, take off the chain and cock ring. The collar and piercings will have to wait until later," said Qui-Gon quietly, handing his apprentice the key. The master continued to answer his well-wishers as Obi-Wan quickly complied.

Maogg brought the apprentice's clothes and Obi-Wan gratefully put on the leggings and boots. Laregg brought a basin of water and clean cloths so Obi-Wan could clean the worst of the sweat and blood from his Master.

"My father told me you will be leaving in the morning," Laregg said quietly during the quick cleanup.

"Yes," Qui-Gon replied. "We are both long overdue to return home, and we need to get to the spaceport to catch a flight off planet."

"I wish you could have stayed longer, but I certainly understand the desire to return home," replied Laregg with a wistful smile.

"You will need clothes for Obi-Wan for the trip. I will bespeak Nimaral on your behalf; I'm sure she will have something suitable from among our stores," offered Maogg.

"Thank you, Maogg. That is most kind of you." Qui-Gon picked up the heavy cockring from the floor where Obi-wan had thrown it. "I won't need this, Maogg. It is yours if you wish."

Maogg took the ring with an amused snort. "I will keep it as a reminder of the Mother's gifts and lessons, Master Jinn. Her gifts, for sending Obi-Wan to me in our time of need," he hugged the apprentice briefly once more, "and her lessons in not being so overconfident." The clansman rubbed his sore neck ruefully.

They all laughed, although Obi-Wan's was rather subdued, and went to get what sleep they could. Obi-Wan wrapped himself in a spare blanket and slept on the floor of Qui-Gon's cubicle in the visitors quarters.

The next day Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan rose early but found that most of the clan was already awake and finishing breakfast in the pre-dawn darkness. They packed their few belongings, then went to one of the communal dining areas to eat.

"Ah, there's my Jedi," Maogg called cheerily as he dropped two packages on the nearly deserted table. "Nimoral sends her greetings and hopes these travel clothes fit." Laregg trailed behind quietly, a smile on his face.

Qui-Gon stood up and bowed. "Please send my greetings and thanks to Nimoral. I'm sure they will do fine and are much appreciated, as has been all the help you and your clan have provided." He nudged his apprentice, who was single-mindedly scooping up sweetened porridge and stuffing fresh bread into his mouth between spoonfuls.

Hastily swallowing the last of his porridge, Obi-Wan wiped his sleeve across his mouth as he stood. "Yes, thank you for all the help."

Maogg stepped forward to engulf the apprentice in a huge hug. Obi-Wan unthinkingly flinched back and started to retreat, but stopped at the hurt look that flashed across the clansman's face. Stung by a wave of guilty remorse as he belatedly remembered the sacrifices that had been made on his behalf, Obi-Wan stopped and offered a tentative hug. Maogg's face lit up again as he swept the apprentice up in a breath-robbing bear hug.

"You are welcome, my little Jedi," Maogg beamed. "You know, with more training I could teach you to be a good hunter if you want to come back."

"Uh, thank you, but I don't think we'll be coming back any time soon."

"Ah, I see."

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

"Obi-Wan, if you are finished, please take the extra clothing and add it to our packs. Then you can check to see if our mounts are ready," Qui-Gon said quietly.

"Yes, Master, I'm finished." Obi-Wan gathered the travel clothes, then hesitated.

"I really do appreciate getting out that prison, Maogg," Obi-Wan said, looking down at the floor.

"You're welcome," Maogg replied. "I hope you have a safe journey."

Obi-Wan nodded, paused for a quick hug with Laregg, then hurried out the door.

Laregg stepped up to hug Qui-Gon. "I am very grateful for the help you provided to get us out of the prison. I don't think it could have been accomplished without your assistance."

"Well, I did have a motive of my own," Qui-Gon said with a smile. He turned to Maogg. "I know it was difficult for both of you, Maogg, but I too appreciate what you did to help keep my apprentice alive and get him out of that prison."

"I did what was necessary." Maogg sighed wistfully. "I like the boy very much, and took good care of him, but he doesn't like me at all." He shook his head. "Obi-Wan was very proud, very stubborn, and did not accept the Mother's teachings. I'm sorry I had to hurt him so much to make him obey, but your ways are very strange to me. I don't think either of us ever understood the other very well."

"It was a difficult time for him, and, as you say, our ways are very different," Qui-Gon said. "I'm simply glad that we were able to get all of you out of there alive." He paused. "What will you do now that you are back? I know you let your wife go back to her own clan before you went into the prison."

"I have my place in White Panther back, and the successful escape gives me much esteem as a warrior," Maogg replied, a smile replacing his glum expression. "I have already had questions from several young men who wish to become hunters and warriors. I expect I will soon have several ranshurr offers to choose from, although it will be hard to replace Obi-Wan." He leaned in conspiratorially, lowering his voice. "I've also got my eye on Vanok's oldest daughter, the tall blonde one who just finished her ranshurr service to the master weaver. I think she will be very happy to warm my bed this winter as my next wife."

Laregg laughed and slapped his kinsman on the back. "I hear she has a temper that will keep more than your bed warm, my friend."

"A spirited companion is always best. We will get along well," Maogg replied with a complacent grin.

The three men made their way to the caves where the herds were housed. The two Jedi made their final farewells there before leaving to head south on a pair of borrowed ghiphnen. Their destination was a small spaceport which was used mostly by smugglers. One of the White Panther's sister clans, the Red Sherdon, had contacts among the smugglers and had secured passage off the planet to a mid Rim planet where they could arrange passage back to Coruscant. Five long days of hard riding got them to the edge of a ragged town, where they gratefully handed off the ghiphnen to the clansman who had accompanied them.

For the next few weeks they slowly made their way from system to system. They carried on a seemingly normal relationship as master and padawan, maintaining a distant politeness. Beneath the pleasant facade, however, Obi-Wan was having difficulty dealing with several mixed emotions as well as some new feelings. The apprentice knew he should be grateful for his rescue, but he was having problems overcoming a lingering resentment over the way Qui-Gon had claimed him and shame for not trusting his master. Obi-Wan was even more troubled, though, when he found that he had developed an intense shyness both about his body and about speaking to his master after all that had happened to him. The physical contact that he had once craved was now uncomfortable, even incidental contact in cramped quarters causing him to shy away, leaving an unpleasant dirty feeling behind. Qui-Gon did not push the issue, merely reminding his apprentice that he would have to make a report to the Council when they got home. Eventually they finally found themselves wedged into a tiny cabin on a freighter bound for the capital planet. The padawan insisted that his master take possession of the single bunk while he voluntarily took the floor at night.

Although exceedingly happy to have seen the last of Junmek, Obi-Wan was still quiet and withdrawn as he tried to work through his confused feelings. He was not really sleeping well or meditating properly, but hoped those problems would go away once the Force dampening collar was finally off. A few days out from Coruscant, though, he had finally relaxed enough around his master that he felt comfortable enough to apologize for his actions at the clan gathering and to ask him some questions. Obi-Wan was sitting at the cabin's small table, ostensibly working on his mission report, while Qui-Gon sat cross-legged on the bunk, not quite meditating but not quite dozing either.

"Master," ventured Obi-Wan quietly.

Blue eyes slowly opened, focused on the young Jedi. "Yes, Padawan?"

"I, uh, wanted to apologize for some of the things I said and did at the clan camp," Obi-Wan said diffidently. "I should have trusted you instead of accusing you of leaving me behind. I'm sorry, Master."

"It's alright, Padawan," Qui-Gon replied with a small smile. "You were under a great deal of stress and we were not able to communicate with the bond being inaccessible. I wish I had been able to explain what I was going to try to do before Maogg took you away again. It might have saved you some unnecessary pain."

"I'm not sure that would really have improved the situation very much, Master," Obi-Wan replied with a rueful grin. "I felt bad enough when you did make that request to substitute yourself for me." He shuddered briefly. "I think I was actually grateful to Maogg that he turned you down." Obi-Wan felt a little better for being able to get his feelings and apology out in the open. "I've also never really thanked you properly for getting me out of that prison on Junmek, Master," he continued. "I know it couldn't have been easy, what with being wounded and then having to wait all that time."

"You're welcome, Padawan. I'm sorry we couldn't get you out sooner." A shadow passed over his face. "The clan used to get fairly regular reports about what was happening to you and Maogg. I'm very sorry you had to go through all that."

Neither man felt like elaborating on what `that' had included. "It's alright, Master. As Maogg used to tell me often enough, everything comes eventually at the right time."

A smile briefly tugged at the Master's lips. "Maogg was a good man in his own way; he risked a good deal going into that prison."

"Yes, Master, I appreciate that."

"He probably didn't tell you, but Maogg talked to me just before we left. He apologized for some of the things he did while you were in prison and for not understanding why some of the things he took for granted seemed to upset you so much."

"Different cultures, different ways," shrugged Obi-Wan, not wanting to go down that path. "It will be alright."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while as unspoken topics hung between them. Obi-Wan finally spoke. "It was rather decent of the Council to let you stay and work on rescuing me, Master."

There was another silence. Obi-Wan looked up; Qui-Gon's expression was of the `If I don't say anything then it's not really a lie' variety.

"Master?" asked Obi-Wan anxiously. "They did let you stay, didn't they?"

Qui-Gon's gaze wandered around the room for a bit before he finally looked back at Obi-Wan and cleared his throat. "Well, not really."

The apprentice continued to look at his master expectantly, not settling for the bare answer.

The master somewhat reluctantly continued. "Padawan, I was the senior Jedi on the mission. There were two other knights and seven very young children who had to get back to Coruscant. I protested, but the Council ordered me to get them off Junmek and leave you behind; they said they would try to send someone back later for you. Once everyone was aboard the ship, we lifted off. After the ship was safely away, however, I took an escape pod and came back." Qui-Gon paused and sighed. He looked at Obi-Wan with a half smile. "Technically, I obeyed the orders as they were worded, but I expect the Council will not be pleased with me when we get back. There were also a few messages that came in through the, shall we say, less orthodox channels, ordering me in no uncertain terms to get my miserable self back to Coruscant. I am very much afraid that your master is getting old and senile, Padawan, as it seems I must have forgotten to answer any of the messages."

Obi-Wan smiled at the mock mournful expression on Qui-Gon's face and shook his head. "Indeed, Master, it is a terrible thing to see the wasting away of a once formidable intellect. I suspect, however, what's left of your mind will match nicely what little will be left of your ass after the Council gets done ripping large strips off of it."

That actually drew a chuckle from Qui-Gon and helped ease some of the strain between them.

"There is something else I wanted to ask, Master."

"Of course, Padawan, if you think I'm up to answering it."

"Yes, Master," said Obi-Wan with another smile. It did feel good to start getting back to their old relationship again. "Actually, I was wondering about the lightsabers. The warden had both and they were in very bad shape. I had nightmares because of those Sithdamned things; it was what convinced me you were dead. But then later you showed up at the prison with a light blue one. I don't understand what happened."

"Ah, yes, the lightsabers. Obviously I had my own lightsaber."

Obi-Wan nodded.

"After you were first captured, I was able to get into the area where they had stored your lightsaber, but while I was trying to get to you I must have set off some of the Force monitors they had planted all over that part of the building."

"Yes, Master. The warden had boasted about the expense they went to in obtaining such a large quantity of monitors."

"I'm sure he was pleased that his investment paid off," said Qui-Gon dryly. "I fought my way out to the courtyard and was almost to the outer exit when they started using grenades. I was already wounded; there were several I was not able to fully divert. I decided to make a run for the river so I shed cloak, tunic and boots; during all the chaos I lost both lightsabers. It was a very near thing, and very fortunate that I was able to make it far enough from town to find the White Panther scouting party."

"But what about the other lightsaber, Master?"

"It is a very curious thing about that other lightsaber, Padawan. It is actually Knight Ghuthiin's weapon."

"Quiet, fussy little `don't make waves' Knight Ghuthiin? He made it clear the whole trip that he didn't like you, the `infamous Jedi Master'," Obi-Wan did his best squeaky disdainful look-down-the-nose imitation of the knight.

"Yes, that Knight Ghuthiin," Qui-Gon said with a smile. "You shouldn't underestimate him, though. He did make it back to the ship with all four infants after you were taken. Underneath the layers of pedantic mindwashing, he is actually quite dedicated to the Force and has had several episodes of accurate prescience."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan subsided. "But how did you end up with Knight Guthiin's lightsaber?"

"He found me when I was preparing the escape pod to leave. I wasn't at all certain of why he was there; we actually stood there looking at each other for several minutes like one of those ridiculous scenes from a bad holovid. Finally he gave me a lecture about how I was a bad influence on the younger Jedi with all my `dramatic mucking about' and defying of the Council, I was going to be in a lot of trouble and he didn't like me in the first place. Then he unhooked his lightsaber and handed it to me, saying he didn't like it, but he had had a vision that I would need it and the Force required him to do it." Qui-Gon gave a small snort. "After that he practically ran out of the room as if I were about to infect him with some horrible disease and I proceeded with my escape. When I landed back on Junmek, I hid the extra lightsaber and was able to go back later and recover it after the other two were lost."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I guess it just goes to show that the Force does indeed work in some pretty mysterious ways."

Qui-Gon smiled, "Or that the Mother bestows her gifts as she will."

The allusion caught Obi-Wan unaware and he drew back within himself, the temporary familiarity lost again. He looked at Qui-Gon for a moment, eyes blank, then with a formal "Yes, Master," he turned back to his report. Hunched over the datapad, he missed the thoughtful look of concern on Qui-Gon's face.

The rest of the return voyage passed quietly. Qui-Gon finished his report early and transmitted it to the Temple, but Obi-Wan was still struggling with his until the day they landed. He finally just decided to gloss over certain aspects and sent it off with the forlorn hope that he wouldn't be asked too many questions.

The master and padawan sat in the Council antechamber and waited. They had arrived on Coruscant in the middle of the night, so at least they had not had to report immediately to anyone, but the curt summons waiting on their terminal had brought them here immediately after breakfast. The fact that they had been ordered to report directly to the Council instead of to the Mission Committee usually meant either very good things or very bad things, and in Obi-Wan's experience it tended to mean the Council was not happy with his master. Qui-Gon sat patiently, but Obi-Wan was silent and withdrawn.

An hour later they were finally admitted. Even with the dampener still on, Obi-Wan could tell that their reception was not exactly friendly, although most of the Council members were casting their chilly glances on Qui-Gon, not him. Reaching the center of the room, they bowed to the senior Council members.

"I have read your mission report, Master Jinn," said Mace Windu. "The seven children that your team found all tested very well and the Creche Masters are quite pleased with their potential."

Qui-Gon nodded in acknowledgement.

"However, you did not return to Coruscant with the children."

"No, Master Windu, I did not." Qui-Gon's level gaze did not falter.

Mace let silence linger for a moment. "We will defer the discussion of your actions for the moment." He turned to the younger Jedi. "We have also read your mission report, Padawan Kenobi."

Obi-Wan started a bit; he had not expected them to jump directly to him. "Yes, Master Windu."

"Your role in the mission was without fault. In fact, Knight Guthiin praised your actions in helping to locate several children, and in particular for defending his escape so he was able to get all of the children back to the ship. You are to be commended for those actions. You also have our sympathy for being captured and being forced to spend time in the prison on Junmek."

"Thank you, Master Windu," replied Obi-Wan with a bow, wondering nervously when the hammer was going to fall. The Council was rarely this nice and it made him anxious.

"Your report was forwarded to the Healers, of course, since they needed to plan for the removal of the Force dampening device. Given the unknown origin of the device and the length of time you were subjected to its influence, the removal must be very carefully monitored. They wish to start that removal process today, an event I am sure you are eagerly anticipating."

"Yes, Master Windu. I have very much missed being connected to the Force."

Mace looked at Obi-Wan thoughtfully for a moment, as if weighing his words carefully. "Padawan Kenobi, the Healers have also expressed concern about certain aspects of your mission report, in particular what they feel may be omissions."

"Yes, Master Windu?" Obi-Wan tried to maintain a stoic expression, but couldn't help the defensive tone of voice.

"You are not being censured, Padawan Kenobi. They are simply concerned for your wellbeing. The attitude of the general Junmek population toward Jedi is well known, as are the types of conditions normally encountered in the prisons for all beings, Jedi or not. Having read your report, they noted some issues which need to be discussed and resolved. They are not singling you out; most beings who have been through your experience need help to work through the emotional and physical aftereffects of those events."

"Master Windu, I'm sure things will be fine once the collar is off. I don't think I really need anything else, sir."

"It is not open for discussion. When you leave here, you will go to the Healers. There will be a preliminary examination, your master will be briefed on how to assist with your Force recovery, and they will remove the collar. You will be staying in the infirmary for a few days to monitor your recovery and during that time you will begin your sessions with the Soul Healers to work through your experiences on Junmek. Unless you have any questions, you may leave now."

"Master Windu, with all due respect, there's nothing wrong with my head. I don't want -"

"What you *want* is irrelevant. You will receive the help you *need*. Please report to the Healers, Padawan Kenobi."

Obi-Wan stood looking helplessly at his master. He didn't want to leave him alone to face the Council, and he certainly didn't want to spend days in the infirmary while they played mind games. He saw Qui-Gon turn his head and nod minutely, a brief reassuring smile flying across his lips before he turned a stoic expression back toward the senior councilor.

"Now, Padawan Kenobi," barked Master Windu impatiently.

With a last glance at Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan bit his lip and bowed. As he left, he could hear Windu's icy tones as he started in on Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his problems with obedience.

Obi-Wan paced angrily around the small room. It was a little smaller than his prison cell on Junmek, and at the moment he almost felt like he was back there. The first thing the Healers had done that morning was to take his clothes away and put him in this silly gown that didn't even close properly in the back, then for hours they had poked, prodded, felt, looked, asked questions and generally made him feel like a specimen in a lab. Now he was locked in this shielded room without even a window while they decided what to do next and then briefed Qui-Gon. So far, this was not at all the sort of homecoming he had looked forward to and his resentment was increasing exponentially. Even finally getting the rings removed from his nipples and penis had not improved his temper.

Eventually the door opened and Master Healer Muybovn came in with Qui-Gon and two other Healers. Obi-Wan retreated to the medical bed in the middle of the room and sat on it. Looking to his master for support, Obi-Wan found little comfort in Qui-Gon's neutral expression, although the small smile seemed intended to be reassuring.

"Good afternoon, Padawan Kenobi," said Master Muybovn pleasantly. "Good news, young man. The results of your tests indicate you are in excellent physical condition, no illnesses or other problems from your recent adventures. We are going to go ahead and remove the dampener immediately so we can get on with the rest of your recovery."

"Thank you, Master Healer," replied Obi-Wan, mentally gritting his teeth at the pleasantries. ~ Just do it, for Force sakes. ~

"I'd like to introduce Soul Healer v'braa and Soul Healer Nolspaq. They will be assisting with the removal and conducting the follow up therapy. We are fortunate in your case that there is another person bonded to you to help with the transition. Your master will be here to provide help by anchoring you with the training bond as the device is removed and providing shielding. If you will please lie back on the bed and make yourself comfortable, we can begin." Healer v'braa was reptilian, short and bluish gray, while Healer Nolspaq was a tall, dark-skinned humanoid female.

The two Soul Healers took up positions on the left side of the bed and the two masters on the right as Obi-Wan settled in. The Master Healer took a small cutting device from his tunic pocket.

"During the next hour or two, you may experience a series of very unsettling feelings," said Healer Nolspaq. "We have found from past experience that when someone has been deprived of all connection with the Force for a long period of time, it can be rather overwhelming when contact is initially restored. You should close your eyes and try to relax as much as possible. When Master Muybovn first cuts the collar, you will probably feel a sensation akin to drowning, only it will be mental instead of physical. Master Jinn will be waiting for you; reach out to him through your training bond and let him do the work to shield both of you. As you stabilize, you may experience sensations such as dizziness, weightlessness, nausea, pain or disorientation. Just hang on to the bond, let your mind have time to refamiliarize itself with the fabric of the Force, and Master Jinn will slowly withdraw enough to let you begin reestablishing your own shields." The Healer smiled, and waved one hand briefly. "This is a shielded room, and we will be heavily shielded ourselves, so you don't need to worry if you have initial difficulties. Do you have any questions before we start?"

Obi-Wan licked his lips nervously. This sounded worse than he had thought it was going to be. "Uh, what did you mean about reestablishing my shields? I already know how to shield, won't that still be there?"

"You have some residual shields, but you have not actively used those skills for several months, and we have found that it takes some people longer than others to bring their shielding back into place. Normally there are few serious problems or aftereffects. Just don't try to rush things and it will be alright."

~ Force, how much is he really going to see of what's in there ~ thought Obi-Wan as he looked up at his master anxiously. ~ There are things in my head I don't think I'm ready for him to see. And what do they really mean about normally there's no serious problems? ~

Qui-Gon smiled at him, patted his shoulder reassuringly. "I'll be here for you, Padawan. Just let me help you through this."

"Yes, Master," replied Obi-Wan. ~ Let's just get this over with. ~ He swallowed, then took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Alright, I'm ready."

The room was quiet save for the humming of the cutting device and the subdued breathing of the four Jedi. Obi-Wan felt a portion of the collar become very warm against his skin as seconds seemed to stretch into minutes. There was a smell of burning circuits just before the collar fell away, taking Obi-Wan with it.

Dark. ~ It's not supposed to be this dark. What's happening, what's wrong. ~

Thick darkness, wrapping around him, dragging him down. ~ No, this can't be right. ~

Black mud. ~ Master! ~

Nostrils full, eyes stinging. No sight, no sound. Choking mud filling his mouth when he tries to scream. ~ Master! Where are you? Help me! ~

Cascading muck, sliding downhill, tumbling, pushing him down, pushing him under. ~ Master.... ~

Falling, cool air, faint light far below him. Reaching, searching. ~ Master? ~

~ Padawan ~

Light rushing, exploding, burning away his skin, leaving him exposed and defenseless.... ~ No...not there ~

~ Obi-Wan ~

Cool water, plunging deep. Desperate climb to sunlight. Sucking air, clawing up the steep bank. Hot sun, warming him, claiming him.

"Obi-Wan." Urgent voice calling.

Warmth, solid, rough, familiar. Warmth and safety.

"Obi-Wan."

Warmth and soft light. So good. Rough wool, herbal scent. ~ wool ? ~

Gray eyes blinked slowly. Cold wall at his back, strong arms holding him up, face buried in dark robe, hard body pressed against his. Hard body, hot and strong, holding him.... ~ NO ~

Obi-Wan pushed hard, stumbling away, seeking blindly for the fresher. Falling to his knees, vomiting into the hastily provided waste receptacle.

The cool cloth on his face was soothing. He sipped slowly at the offered water, sitting back against the wall.

"Feeling better?" asked the Master Healer, kneeling on his right side. Qui-Gon knelt on his left.

Slow nod. "Head feels stuffy," he mumbled. "Stomach hurts."

"That should go away in an hour or two," said the Healer. "Let's see if we can get you back to the bed."

The two masters carefully helped Obi-Wan to his feet, steadying him through an assault of dizziness, pausing to let another surge of nausea subside. Slowly they made their way back to the bed, easing him up into a sitting position.

"What happened?" asked Obi-Wan.

"You were overwhelmed by the sudden flood of returning sensations and tried to get away. Master Jinn had to hold you still, and you were disoriented as you became aware of the Force again," replied Master Muybovn. "The violence of the reaction was a bit unusual, but, taken as a whole, nothing too far outside the expected range of reactions."

Obi-Wan had a few thoughts of his own about some of those reactions, but was not in any sort of mood to want to discuss them. "So, when can I leave?"

"If you make normal progress, probably two to three days," said Soul Healer Nolspaq. At Obi-Wan's petulant expression, she held up a hand. "*If* you cooperate, that is."

"It will be alright, Padawan," said Qui-Gon. "I will stay here with you for a while and review the basic shielding techniques."

"Yes, Master," replied Obi-Wan.

"I'll leave you two alone for a bit. Remember, Master Jinn, keep things on a very basic level for today," said the Master Healer. "Healer Nolspaq will be back after latemeal. Just ring the buzzer if you need any of us before then."

"Thank you, Master Muybovn," said Qui-Gon.

It was very quiet in the room after the door closed. Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably on the hard bed.

Finally Qui-Gon cleared his throat. "Would you like some water, Padawan?" he asked. "The Healers said that would help with the headache."

"Yes, please, Master."

It was quiet again as the apprentice slowly drank his glass of water.

"Do you feel up to going over the shielding drills, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan kept his gaze downward. ~ Force, I hope he didn't see too much of what's rattling around inside my head. ~

"Obi-Wan, if you are concerned about what happened to you on Junmek, if you want to talk about it, I am here for you," said Qui-Gon quietly. "I know it was very horrible, but it can help to talk about it."

"Yes, Master," said Obi-Wan, briefly glancing up, wondering if Qui-Gon had picked up that stray thought. "I think I would really prefer to work on the shielding drills, if you don't mind." He smiled a bit. "I don't want to be in here any longer than necessary, Master."

"Of course," replied Qui-Gon.

The next few hours passed quietly. Obi-Wan was surprised and a bit dismayed at how rusty some of his skills were, but under Qui-Gon's guidance he quickly became comfortable again with the shielding routines he had practiced since childhood. By the time latemeal arrived, he felt better both physically and mentally, so much so that Qui-Gon had eased the shielding he had been holding for both of them. Healer Nolspaq came in after they ate and did a quick examination. She was pleased with the results and suggested that Qui-Gon go ahead and release the shields.

Master Healer Muybovn came in as Qui-Gon finished. All three senior Jedi probed delicately at Obi-Wan's shields.

"You've made excellent progress," said Healer Nolspaq. "Your shields are still very porous compared to your usual abilities but quite good for this stage of your recovery. The room is shielded so you don't need to worry about broadcasting anything. Keep up the good work and we might get you out of here in two days rather than three."

"Thank you, Healer Nolspaq," replied Obi-Wan politely. "I'm feeling much better tonight. I think I have definitely gained a better appreciation for the Force and I can assure you I will be working hard at regaining my shielding and control."

"Don't try to take it too fast," she warned, "I'll be keeping a close eye on you so you don't overdo it. Healer v'braa will be here tomorrow to work with you and he has quite a bit of experience in this area."

"I'm sure both of you are quite good, but, with all due respect, I don't understand why I can't just work with my master," said Obi-Wan, not relishing the prospect of being alone with the Healers.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Master Muybovn cleared his throat delicately. "Padawan Kenobi, Healer v'braa is exceptionally qualified for this work, and I am sure you will continue your excellent progress under his guidance." He paused and looked at Qui-Gon. "Master Jinn, your assistance in the initial phase was very much appreciated, but I'm afraid that, medically speaking, there isn't really any reason for you to stay much longer. I can give you another half hour with your padawan, but that poor knight has really been quite persistent...."

"Thank you, Master Healer, I appreciate the time," replied Qui-Gon with a bow. "I will be out shortly."

After the door closed, Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon anxiously. "Master, I don't understand what's going on. Why can't you stay? Surely they wouldn't send you back out on a mission so soon, would they? And what knight was he talking about?"

"I apologize for not telling you earlier, but no, I'm not going anywhere," said Qui-Gon quietly. A half smile tugged at one corner of his mouth. "Actually, I am literally not going anywhere. Padawan, we both knew the Council would not be pleased with my actions." He waited until the young man nodded. "In addition to the reprimand this morning, from now until the start of the new instructional term I am restricted to quarters and assigned eight hours a day of meditation on obedience and discipline with an additional two hours of guided meditation each day. I will be assigned teaching duties this next term and for those four months will be restricted to quarters except for my duties, your training and the dining hall." He raised a hand to stop Obi-Wan's protest. "It could have been worse, Padawan. I did disobey three orders to return to Coruscant; I knew there would be consequences to those actions and I made the choice to accept them. In any event, this will be an excellent opportunity for you to catch up on some classes you need to take here at the Temple."

"But Master, it's not fair," said Obi-Wan angrily. "It wasn't your fault I was stupid enough to get captured. It's twelve days until the next term starts! It's like being locked up all that time. And guided meditation; that's for initiates and junior padawans! It's not right they should force you to do that, it's just not fair at all. Why -"

"Padawan, enough." The quiet tone of command cut through the anger.

"But, it was my fault...."

The look on Qui-Gon's face was enough to silence the apprentice.

"Yes, Master." His tongue might be still but his head spun with anger and disgust, both for himself and the Council.

"Padawan, please remember that your shields are not yet up to strength," said Qui-Gon sternly.

"Yes, Master. I'm sorry." The apprentice made a determined effort to rein in his errant thoughts.

"Obi-Wan, I don't mean to intrude," said Qui-Gon in a softer tone. "I realize you are upset, but you must understand. Nothing that happened is your fault; not getting captured and certainly not my disciplinary actions. Anyone in that situation could have been caught: there were simply too many people to overcome. None of us are invincible."

Obi-Wan was still having trouble managing both his thoughts and his expression. Enough distress showed that Qui-Gon knew his apprentice was not convinced.

Qui-Gon stepped close to the bed and put a comforting hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "It was *not* your fault and I will not have you berating yourself for something you could not control. And I will certainly not have you taking responsibility for *my* decisions. I care for you a great deal, Obi-Wan, and I let that unduly influence my actions. The proper thing to do would have been to fulfill my responsibility to make sure the children made it back to Coruscant and then try to return for you. I did not do that, and the Council has the right to impose discipline for what I did."

Obi-Wan's stomach twisted into knots the second Qui-Gon touched him. He flushed with the heat suddenly burning through him and could only nod obediently as he continued his struggle to control his thoughts and feelings.

"Your duty, Padawan, is to work with the healers and get your shielding back up so you can get out of here," said Qui-Gon. He gave a playful tug on the long braid as he smiled. "Don't be so gloomy, Padawan. It's not the first time I've been in trouble with the Council and I doubt it will be the last. I will be alright."

A determined effort brought ragged shields back into place. Ignoring the dribble of blood sliding across his tongue from his badly bitten inner cheek, the apprentice was able to finally summon a tiny smile for Qui-Gon's benefit. "Yes, Master."

"Now then, I believe there is a knight from the Master at Arms office who has been waiting quite a while to escort me to our quarters and officially register the start of the restriction. It's not his fault either, so let's be nice to him and let him get on with his job." Qui-Gon straightened his robe and headed for the door.

"Master?" called Obi-Wan.

"Yes, Padawan?" Qui-Gon stopped halfway and turned, one eyebrow raised.

"Thank you, Master," said Obi-Wan softly.

Qui-Gon smiled, nodded, then left.

For a long time Obi-Wan wrestled with his feelings before he finally fell into a light sleep.

Obi-Wan applied himself diligently the next two days, working doggedly through dull drills on shielding that he had once easily mastered years earlier. Healer v'braa was a patient teacher; exacting but sympathetic to his charge's desire to push ahead, he let Obi-Wan work to the edge of exhaustion but no further. On the afternoon of the second day, both Soul Healers pronounced themselves satisfied with his progress.

"Here you are, Padawan Kenobi," said Healer Nolspaq, handing over a bag of clothes. "Go ahead and get dressed. I'll be back in a few minutes with your discharge papers."

Obi-Wan dressed quickly and waited impatiently for his release.

The door opened finally and Healer Nolspaq came in with two datapads. "Please sit down so we can go over this, Padawan Kenobi." When both were seated on the bed, she continued, pointing out items on the first datapad. "These are the tests and results that we did the first day. As you can see, physically you are in excellent condition. These entries here show that Healer Iopa updated your vaccinations, this section is the report on removing the collar, and this part is Healer v'braa's report on your progress up to this point." She handed the second datapad to the apprentice. "Review this carefully. It has the instructions for the ongoing shielding and Force manipulation exercises you need to do for the next few months and your schedule of follow-up appointments. You have been removed from Mission status until your shielding and Force skills are back to normal. Your progress in that area will depend in large part on how hard you work on your drills. During your follow-up we will also be working with you to resolve any issues you still have with your experiences on Junmek."

Obi-Wan had been following the debriefing carefully until that last statement. He bristled and sat back. "I don't really think that will be necessary, Healer Nolspaq," he said stiffly. "There aren't any issues that I can't handle myself."

"Padawan Kenobi, I've seen your master's mission report and I've seen your mission report. There are major discrepancies between the reports as to what happened to you while you were in that prison, mostly things you left out. I know that you were put in a position where you suffered serious loss of control of your environment and underwent physical, emotional and sexual abuse," she said bluntly. "Denial is a perfectly normal initial response to the kinds of things that happened to you, but unless you can sit here, right now, and discuss *everything* that went on, how it affected you, how you feel about it and how you feel about yourself now, you will be coming back to see us until you can do that and are comfortable with yourself and your own selfworth again." She looked steadily at the apprentice.

Jumping off the bed, Obi-Wan stood and looked angrily at the Healer, hands fisted at his sides. He started to speak, but couldn't get words to come out. In the face of her unblinking gaze, he finally had to look away, face flushing.

"Padawan," she said in a kinder tone, "nothing that happened was your fault. It is my job to help you to come to terms with what happened and to understand that you are still a good person. It is not going to be pleasant, but I care enough for you that I am going to force you to work through the hurt. I know that right now you would probably prefer that I just ignore the whole problem and leave you alone, but I'm not going to do that." She smiled. "If you want to curse or yell or stamp around, please feel free. I'm used to that, too."

Obi-Wan had been wanting badly to do all three, but now he simply felt ridiculous and deflated, like a balloon with a slow leak. He sighed and looked at the datapad in his hand. "Alright, Healer Nolspaq." He looked up at her again. "What do I have to do to get back on Mission status?"

"The first thing you have to do is understand that this is *not* about getting back to Mission status, it is about getting your head straight," replied the Healer briskly. "You will be staying on Coruscant for at least this next academic term, so there's no rush. You need to work on your exercises, keep your appointments and work through the issues. Our immediate goal is to get your shielding back up to par, so you'll see that we've scheduled two appointments a day for the next several days. Once your classes start, assuming your progress is satisfactory, we'll only need to see you every few days. Now, do you have any questions?"

"No, Healer Nolspaq," said Obi-Wan, "not right now."

"Good. If you'll sign here, we'll get you out of here." The Healer held out the datapad and a stylus.

"Don't we have to wait for my master's signature?" he asked hesitantly. "I've never been allowed to sign myself out before."

The Healer looked at him blankly for a moment. "Oh. I suppose that with everything else that has been happening I just assumed you already knew."

"Knew what?"

"You have officially been moved on the rolls to Senior Padawan status. Came through the first day you were back, so I don't suppose your master has had time to brief you yet," she smiled. "One of the perks of Senior status is that, once you have the medical release, you can now sign yourself out of the infirmary. We still send a copy of the report and your follow-up schedule to your master, of course, but he no longer has to sign in order for you to get out. Congratulations."

"Senior? Already? Oh Force," breathed Obi-Wan, a big grin spreading on his face, "I mean, uh, thank you." He signed the datapad with a flourish, looked at it wonderingly for a moment, then handed it back.

The Healer walked him back to the main entrance, cheerfully reminding him about keeping his shields up. Obi-Wan absently took his leave as his thoughts darted about like a flock of startled flikr birds. Happiness at the coveted new rank warred with depression over the upcoming therapy sessions, while occasional thoughts of his master or Junmek would send his brain tumbling again. The familiar halls were relatively quiet as most beings were either at latemeal or preparing for evening activities. He arrived at the shared quarters without any memories of how he got there.

The common areas were dim, the only light that coming in from the wide windows opening onto the balcony. Obi-Wan hung up his robe as his eyes adjusted to the light. He noted the still form of his master meditating on the balcony and decided to defer any questions about his promotion until Qui-Gon was ready to discuss it. Obi-Wan quietly let himself into his room, took off his boots, then returned to the kitchen to inventory the cooler and cabinets. The apprentice began assembling ingredients for a simple latemeal, trying to be as quiet as possible, as his thoughts revolved around the upcoming therapy sessions.

"Good evening, Padawan," said a quiet voice from the doorway.

Obi-Wan dropped the spoon into the soup he had been stirring. Turning his head briefly, "Sorry, Master, I didn't hear you come in. Good evening." He turned his attention to fishing the spoon out of the hot liquid.

"Welcome back. You seem to be still in one piece after your stay with the Healers," Qui-Gon said breezily as he moved into the kitchen to get bowls, plates and utensils to set the table.

"Yes, Master. Very funny, I'm sure," snapped the apprentice angrily, sucking on a soup-burned finger.

"Be mindful of your shields, Padawan," Qui-Gon said softly. "They are not at your normal strength yet."

Obi-Wan stopped, took a deep breath, and made a conscious effort to strengthen his shields. Turning, he bowed to Qui-Gon. "My apologies, Master. I meant no disrespect."

"It's alright, Padawan," Qui-Gon replied with a small smile. "I know you are still working on it. I just don't want to intrude, even unintentionally, where you don't want me to."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, nodding, a tight smile on his face. "This is almost ready, Master. I'll finish here if you'll take the salad to the table."

"Of course," Qui-Gon replied, respecting his apprentice's desire to deflect the conversation.

The meal was quiet as both men seemed lost in their own thoughts. Qui-Gon stirred as the apprentice began clearing away.

"Padawan, please join me when you have finished."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan quickly cleared away and cleaned up in the kitchen. He paused in the doorway to look at his master, who was sitting on the old couch in leggings and tunic, bare feet propped up on a low table as he read a datapad. He felt old familiar stirrings in his groin, but this strange new shyness he had felt since their reunion quickly damped them down. He sighed.

Qui-Gon looked up. "Please sit down, Padawan." He waited until the apprentice had perched himself at the other end of the couch, then sat up straight, putting his feet down on the floor. "I've been rather remiss in my responsibilities," he continued with a smile. "I should have told you earlier, but there was no confirmation until we got back to Coruscant. Let me congratulate you on your promotion to Senior Padawan."

"Thank you, Master." A grin kept breaking through Obi-Wan's attempts at appearing modest. It was the first time in far too long that he felt genuinely happy and warm inside. "I appreciate the honor, especially as I was thinking it might be delayed quite a while because I was stuck on Junmek for so long. I did miss a great deal of training because of that."

"You earned the promotion on your own merits, Obi-Wan. Actually, I had put you in for it before we left for that mission."

"Before?" Obi-Wan looked up in surprise. "I thought human padawans had to be over twenty one before their master could even nominate them. I was still only twenty when we left."

"That is more of a tradition than a rule," Qui-Gon replied. "You have been an excellent apprentice, Obi-Wan, and your records attest to that. I know it has often been difficult being the apprentice of the infamous Qui-Gon Jinn," a wry smile graced his face, "but it did provide you with far more field time than most apprentices ever get, and you have proven yourself to be a capable and responsible partner in many difficult situations. It was time to submit your annual evaluation to the Padawan Review Board anyway, so I included the nomination because I felt that you were ready for the increased responsibility and had earned the recognition."

"Thank you, Master. I have tried to do my best," said Obi-Wan, his throat a bit tight. "I hope I prove worthy of your trust."

"The Board approved your promotion, so they obviously agree that you are ready. If you have some time, we need to go over the changes that go with your new status."

"Of course, Master. I'd like to do that now, please," Obi-Wan said, a quiet grin returning to his face as he savored this confirmation of his elevation in the Jedi hierarchy. He scooted a little closer to Qui-Gon and sat leaning forward, forearms resting on his knees as he prepared to listen.

For the next few hours there was an intense discussion of Obi-Wan's new privileges and responsibilities, his understanding of those responsibilities and Qui-Gon's expectations for his apprentice. In this new phase of his apprenticeship, Obi-Wan had more freedom but was also expected to begin taking on more responsibility, working as more of a junior partner than a student. They discussed the academic requirements that Obi-Wan still needed to fulfill and the sorts of changes that he might expect in his role on future missions. They also talked about some of the independent assignments that Obi-Wan would be getting, such as instructing, working in the Creche and serving as staff on initiate and junior padawan trips.

"Whew," breathed Obi-Wan, leaning back on the couch and stretching. "I never realized just how much it really means to move up to Senior." He shook his head wonderingly, both pleased with his new freedoms and a little concerned about the new expectations.

"I am sure you will do well, Padawan," replied Qui-Gon. He handed over the datapad. "I believe I have captured most of what you need in this datapad, and I've included several references for additional information. If you have any questions, of course, you can always discuss them with me."

"Thank you, Master. This has been a very useful discussion, and I appreciate your help." His gray eyes shone bluer with happiness. "I'm looking forward to the challenge, Master."

"There is one other thing, Padawan," said Qui-Gon, a bit hesitantly.

Obi-Wan looked up from the datapad in surprise. There was an uncharacteristic shyness in his master's voice.

"Yes, Master?"

"I know it is traditional for the padawan to choose his own stone to add to his braid on this occasion, but, if you would...." Qui-Gon stopped again, looking a bit embarrassed.

Obi-Wan was quite intrigued by now, wondering what could possibly be bothering his normally composed master.

Qui-Gon dug into his tunic pocket and pulled out a small box. He continued in a soft voice, "I don't want to unduly influence your decision, but if you would at least consider this offering in your choices, I would be honored, Obi-Wan." He offered the box to his apprentice.

Carefully removing the plain wooden box from the large palm, Obi-Wan opened it. Nestled in white synthsilk was a brilliant, dark blue oval gemstone with a hole slightly off center. It shone warmly in the soft light. The apprentice stared at it, speechless.

"My master and I made it when I was promoted to Senior," said Qui-Gon diffidently. "I thought, perhaps, you might like it."

"It's beautiful, Master," said Obi-Wan reverently, cradling the box in both hands as he slid off the couch onto his knees. "I could not have found anything more perfect." He looked up at Qui-Gon. "I am the one who would be honored to wear it. Thank you, Master."

"You are welcome, Obi-Wan," said Qui-Gon, looking pleased and a bit flushed.

Loosening the tie on the end of his braid, Obi-Wan unplaited the last few inches. He offered the box back to Qui-Gon. "I would be proud to wear your stone, Master, and even more honored if you would add it yourself."

Sure hands took the stone from its nest, threaded it onto the braid and lovingly replaited the braid, tying off the end with the strip of leather. Placing the braid down, he patted it briefly, the blue stone gleaming in its place of honor. "Thank you, Obi-Wan," said Qui-Gon softly, his blue eyes also gleaming suspiciously.

Obi-Wan smiled proudly. "Thank *you*, Master, for everything."

"Well, it's getting late, Senior Padawan Kenobi," said Qui-Gon gruffly, a mock frown on his face. "I think it's about time I should be going to bed."

"Yes, Master Jinn," said Obi-Wan, jumping up and bowing to Qui-Gon, a big grin spreading from cheek to cheek.

Later, lying in bed, Obi-Wan fingered the smooth new stone in his braid and smiled again, suspecting that he looked like a foolish initiate and not caring at all. That night he slept deep and dreamless for the most untroubled night he had had in months.

At precisely fifteen minutes before fifth hour Obi-Wan was awakened by an insistent chime at the front door. Throwing on his night robe, he stumbled blearily to the door. Standing outside was a sharply turned out knight with the red tabard and gold insignia of the Master at Arms office, the Temple's internal police force.

"Whacha want?" mumbled Obi-Wan through a huge yawn, staring uneasily at this apparition.

"I am here to escort Master Jinn," the knight enunciated in prim tones.

"Huh?"

Before the knight could reply, Qui-Gon came out of his room, fully dressed. "Padawan, I'm sorry you were disturbed. You can go back to sleep if you like. I will be back after seventh hour." He took his robe from its hook by the door and put it on. "If you get up before I return, go ahead and have breakfast, then start on today's katas and drills."

"Yes, Master," said Obi-Wan automatically. As Qui-Gon fell in place beside the knight, Obi-Wan woke up enough to call out. "Hey, wait a minute. What's going on?"

"Your Master requires a disciplinary escort to and from his guided meditation session," interjected the knight coldly. "It is none of your concern, Padawan." He turned to Qui-Gon. "We must leave now if we are to arrive on time, Master Jinn."

"Of course," said Qui-Gon graciously. "I'll see you later, Padawan."

Obi-Wan stared at the closed door blankly for several moments as he remembered the terms of the disciplinary actions that the Council had thrown at his master. He finally wandered back to his room but he was so aggravated at the whole situation that he couldn't sleep, and it soured what should have been a welcome homecoming. Despite Qui-Gon's words to him earlier, he couldn't help feeling that it was somehow his fault.

That first morning set the tone for most of the next tenday until academic classes started. Obi-Wan was happy to be back at the Temple; having his Force connection back and being promoted to Senior status should have been enough to make him ecstatic. His happiness was tempered, however, by several things. His conviction that he was at least partially at fault for his master's restrictions made him feel guilty, especially when he left their quarters to go anywhere. He worked diligently at the Force and shielding exercises, but was irritated by the frequent visits to the Healers Ward, a place he had never liked in the first place. He was still not sleeping well most nights, and was beginning to have problems sorting out a growing conflict between his feelings for his master and his feelings about his body.

It had been many years since the apprentice's feelings for his master had gone from infatuation to devotion, a love based on affection, respect and a healthy dose of lust. Obi-Wan had his share of normal hormonal urges growing up, but it was usually to fantasies of Qui-Gon's hands and body that he had masturbated. His feelings were deep enough that he had developed the self-discipline to wait, putting off experimenting with his peers, saving himself as he made his plans to seek Qui-Gon as his guide to sexual awakening. Coming back to the Temple again, living once more in close proximity, he quickly realized that those feelings for his Master were just as strong as ever and for the last year there had been a number of small hints and indications that made him hopeful those feelings were returned. Doing something about those feelings, however, was becoming unexpectedly difficult since that disastrous twenty-first birthday.

Growing up in the creche and initiate dorms, sharing communal showers for as long as he could remember, Obi-Wan had certainly never had any false modesty about his body. He normally slept in just a pair of shorts and had been on his share of missions where a few tasteful ornaments were the acceptable attire. Since leaving Junmek, however, he had developed a sudden shyness about being seen naked, about close contact and touching himself. His first night back he had dug through his closet until he found the issue pajamas buried there and began sleeping in those, telling himself he was tired of being cold at night. The fourth day back Obi-Wan went to the training salle to start working on katas again; afterward he sat on the bench in the locker room in his sweaty workout clothes for almost twenty minutes, listening to the easy horseplay and conversation from the shower, before he abruptly grabbed his gear and almost ran back to his quarters. That first time he told himself he needed to get back in time to prepare latemeal, but after the third time it happened he stopped making excuses and simply started going straight from the salles to his quarters.

By the time classes started, Obi-Wan Kenobi was beginning to turn into a withdrawn, morose version of his normal self. He felt guilty and irritated again with the Council after he found out that on top of being restricted, his master had been assigned to teach four of what were generally considered the least desirable remedial classes. His own course schedule was fine, but now that several of his friends were back in Temple and he began taking some meals in the dining hall, Obi-Wan found that the well intentioned congratulations on his promotion almost inevitably included questions and pity about his imprisonment on Junmek, a topic he was heartily sick of. He found he still had a tendency to wolf his food down in less than ten minutes, which drew stares and questions, and his avoidance of the locker room was starting to be noticed. To top things off, once the Healers were satisfied that he was making satisfactory progress with his shielding skills, they had begun focusing their sessions on discussions of his Junmek experiences; so far they had only made it as far as his initial capture and trial, but Obi-Wan was already having to force himself to attend his appointments, dreading the inevitable sessions dealing with what happened after Maogg subdued him. As time went by, he found that his emotional desires for his master were starting to become tainted by his increasing feelings of distance from his body; he knew he still loved Qui-Gon but his growing self-doubts were beginning to make him feel less worthy of being loved in return.

The start of the academic term imposed a new routine on the life of both master and padawan. In the mornings both men meditated and had breakfast together, then Qui-Gon taught while Obi-Wan attended his own classes. After lunch they worked on katas or sparring for a few hours. This was usually Obi-Wan's favorite part of the day because he could lose himself in the physical exertion and concentration and felt especially close to his master. Late afternoons and evenings were devoted to class preparations or homework respectively, except that every other day Obi-Wan had his sessions with the Healers.

For a while Obi-Wan stayed busy enough that he could ignore the growing conflicts in his feelings. Unfortunately, Healer Nolspaq had reached a point in their discussions where they had to begin dealing with what had happened after he submitted to Maogg; although supportive and sympathetic, she was also relentless in refusing to allow the young man to deny that there were any aftereffects. They had been dancing around the subject for almost two full tendays before Obi-Wan finally began to admit the extent of the violation and humiliation he had felt. What he did not tell her was about the dreams he had begun having. He kept seeing himself in his quarters at the Temple on his twenty-first birthday; after a romantic meal, he was finally going to make love to Qui-Gon. One moment they would be in Qui-Gon's bed, the next Obi-Wan was on his hands and knees in the prison cell with Qui-Gon behind him, except Qui-Gon's face turned into Maogg's, and he relived the whole public rape, including his own ejaculation. At the end of the dream he lay there with Maogg's cock still in his ass, his own seed hot on his belly, and Qui-Gon was standing outside the cell, looking at him with disgust before he turned and walked away. It was usually at that point he would wake up, shaking and sweating. Sometimes he woke up screaming, which would bring Qui-Gon in to check on him, but he was too ashamed to tell his Master what was wrong. Qui-Gon's well-intentioned questions just made the young man become surly.

The situation continued to worsen over the next month. Obi-Wan was finally able to discuss some of his feelings with Healer Nolspaq about how debased he had and still felt, how the loss of control still seared him, but he could not get past the feeling that it was somehow his fault, that he had become used and unclean. It became more and more difficult to force himself to attend the sessions with the healers as the topics became increasingly painful. He was not sleeping at all well, he could not focus on his work, and the dreams began to get worse.

Qui-Gon tried to help, but after the evening meal when Obi-Wan looked up and almost choked because he saw Maogg's blue eyes looking at him the apprentice began to avoid situations where he was alone with his Master.

"Padawan, are you having problems in your classes?" Qui-Gon asked mildly.

"No more so than usual, Master," Obi-Wan replied absently, drying his hands after the latemeal cleanup.

"I've had messages from some of your instructors," Qui-Gon said. "They are concerned that your homework does not seem to be up to your usual standards."

"I'll take care of it, Master."

"If you are having any problems, you know you can always come to me, Padawan."

"Of course, Master." Obi-Wan shrugged loose from the hand his master tried to put on his shoulder. "I'll be at the library all evening, Master. Please don't wait up."

"Obi-Wan, if you need help...." Qui-Gon's words trailed off as he stood in the doorway, helplessly watching as his apprentice hurried down the corridor he was forbidden to traverse. The hand he had half raised fell to his side. After a long moment, he sighed, then turned back inside with slow, heavy steps, his eyes downcast.

Obi-Wan shamelessly used the despised restriction to escape to the library or the gardens where Qui-Gon was not allowed to follow, hiding as he nursed his pain in silence, shielding the training bond as heavily as he could, knowing that his increasingly obvious rejection was hurting Qui-Gon. As complaints from Obi-Wan's instructors multiplied, the apprentice began spending more time away from their quarters to avoid his master's questions and increasingly pointed lectures, often stopping by the dining hall only long enough to grab food to take with him to the gardens. He cared less and less about his personal appearance, preferring to skip showers and wear the same clothes if it meant less time he had to spend in his quarters, resentfully enduring Qui-Gon's attempts to provide help and correction.

Obi-Wan was still helplessly in love with his master and, with one part of his being, wanted him desperately. By now, though, his self loathing had grown to the point that he had not only become convinced that Qui-Gon could not possibly want him after Maogg had used him so thoroughly, but he began to doubt whether or not he himself could let his beloved master touch him in the ways that Maogg had touched him. Even in their private shower he could barely stand to touch himself long enough to get clean, and just the thought of masturbating was beginning to make him nauseous.

Events finally came to a head after midterm exams. Both Healer Nolspaq and v'braa had begun attending the sessions as they became more difficult. Several times Obi-Wan had tried unsuccessfully to describe the events dealing with the warden and Maogg; by now all three were becoming frustrated with the lack of progress. The apprentice's academic and training work were falling off noticeably; he was becoming brusque and surly with almost everyone. The trickle of complaining messages to the apprentice's master was rapidly becoming a stream and even Qui-Gon's sternest lectures just seemed to slide off the self-absorbed young man unheeded. The dreams had started to become so intense that he sometimes felt as if Maogg was in his bed, still fucking him, and he was becoming physically run down from the lack of proper sleep.

One afternoon Obi-Wan was hiding in one of the outer gardens, ostensibly studying but in reality simply dozing apathetically under a tree. His comm chirped at him several times during the afternoon but he ignored it. He also ignored the tall dark figure that came striding up the path to stand before him.

"Padawan."

"Master?"

"Get up."

"Please, just leave me alone. I don't feel like talking." Obi-Wan closed his eyes and turned away.

Two large hands reached down, grabbed the apprentice by the neck of his tunics and the seat of his leggings, then hauled him none too gently to his feet.

"Ow," yelped the apprentice, readjusting his leggings where they had so abruptly ridden up into his crotch and ass.

"You will come with me, Padawan."

"But, Master, you aren't supposed to be out here, and I don't want -" Obi-Wan started to whine.

A hand snaked out to grab the dangling braid and the apprentice found himself nose to nose with an enraged Jedi master. He gulped as he stared up into steel blue eyes. Qui-Gon was so close the apprentice felt like the icy wave of anger his master so seldom unleashed was reaching across the small space to freeze his guts. Obi-Wan could see the clenched jaw muscles and flared nostrils, feel the hot breath, and his nerves tingled as the gritting of teeth sounded in the dead silence. For one desperate second he thought Qui-Gon would even strike him as a large hand clenched in a white-knuckled fist before falling back and relaxing.

"Now, Padawan."

Qui-Gon released the braid so suddenly Obi-Wan almost fell on his ass. The master turned on his heel and stalked away with long strides as his padawan scrambled to keep up. The trip back to their quarters was a silent one. Once inside, Obi-Wan stood silently in the center of the common room, gaze fixed sullenly on the floor, as Qui-Gon paced for several minutes.

Qui-Gon finally stopped in front of his apprentice and looked him over, starting at the scuffed boots, wrinkled leggings, dirty tunics, crooked braid, and up to the shadowed, bloodshot eyes.

"Senior Padawan Kenobi," he said flatly, drawing out each word.

"Yes, Master," replied Obi-Wan as he winced. ~ Sithspit, he sounds incredibly pissed. ~

"I spent almost an hour in a rather one sided conversation with the Padawan Review Board this afternoon," said Qui-Gon in that same flat tone.

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan licked suddenly dry lips as he snatched a furtive glance at his master's grim visage.

"I wouldn't need to be telling you what they said if a certain *Senior Padawan* had bothered to answer his comm so he could attend in person," said Qui-Gon, disgust evident in his drawled emphasis.

A sharply inhaled breath left Obi-Wan momentarily speechless, his attention now firmly on the situation at hand. "I...uh...I'm sorry, Master." As Qui-Gon stepped into his apprentice's personal space, the temperature of the room seemed to drop twenty degrees and Obi-Wan shivered. ~ Force, this has gone way beyond Qui-Gon being pissed off if the PRB is involved. What have I got myself into? ~ The apprentice could almost smell the anger radiating from his master's body as Qui-Gon towered over him.

"The Board was quite concerned over your recent behavior and a rather precipitous drop in performance, particularly coming as it does on the heels of your promotion. Would you like to know what they were particularly concerned about?" asked Qui-Gon in a soft, dangerous voice, almost body to body with his apprentice.

"Yes, Master, I guess so." Obi-Wan found the scuffed toes of his boots to be suddenly of intense interest.

"I should think so," snapped Qui-Gon as he stepped back, hands on his hips. "You would know, if you would have bothered to listen to anything I've tried to tell you for the last few tendays, that there have been a large number of complaints from your instructors that you have become moody and withdrawn in class, that the quality of your contributions in class has decreased, and that you have not been keeping up with the course work. Were you aware that you received less than a passing score on three of your four mid course exams?"

"No, Master. We haven't gotten the results back yet. I'm sorry, Master." The chunk of lead growing in his stomach abruptly doubled in size.

"The Healers have also reported that there has been a distinct lack of progress recently in your therapy. Padawan, is it true that you did not show up for your last three appointments?"

Obi-Wan swallowed hard and had to try twice to get the words out. "Uh...yes, Master...it's true."

"And is it also true that you have been skipping classes? And not telling me?"

"Master...."

"Is it true or not?" snapped Qui-Gon.

"I...it was only a few classes ...," muttered Obi-Wan weakly. "I'm sorry, Master." ~ Please, Force, just let me die now. ~

"This is a very serious matter, Padawan. I'm not sure you realize just how far beyond `I'm sorry' it has gone."

Silence as the apprentice bit his lower lip and continued to stare at his boots. His breathing was ragged and he could feel his pulse racing.

Qui-Gon pulled a datapad from his tunic and thrust it at Obi-Wan, who reached out instinctively to grab it. "The Review Board has issued you a Notice of Deficiencies, Padawan."

A spot of red burned in each suddenly pale cheek. Obi-Wan looked at the datapad, then up at his Master, fighting back the sting of tears. "No, not an ND...," he whispered.

"Oh yes. The infamous ND, last step before demotions and dismissals. Read it carefully, Padawan, there's quite a bit in there. You've gone downhill so far and so fast from where you were that they didn't bother with a Notice of Counseling. The Board is so concerned about your drop in performance, in fact, that they discussed immediately revoking your promotion if you can not explain and correct the deficiencies," said Qui-Gon sternly. "Much as it pains me, Padawan, I have to admit that with the lack of effort you have shown in our training sessions, and your whole attitude since we got back from Junmek, I had great difficulty defending you, and I'm not entirely certain that I should disagree with their decision."

It took a few seconds for the words to sink in as Obi-Wan stared at his master, speechless. Then, as if he had been kicked in the gut, Obi-Wan began shaking, struggling to stay upright, hugging his arms close. "I'm sorry, Master," he choked out in a low, hoarse voice. "I'm sorry." He felt like he was trapped in one of his dreams, blood pounding in his head as he was taken, and any moment the master who had been so proud of him would see him for the disgusting creature he really was and turn away.

Qui-Gon looked at the miserable figure trembling before him. He sighed as his expression softened. His eyes were sad as he said softly, "Padawan, beyond anything else that you have done, there is one thing that has disappointed me most of all."

"M'mmaster?" stammered out the apprentice as a tear escaped from under his hot eyelids. The metallic tang of blood in his mouth from his bitten lip reminded him all too vividly of the beatings in prison. Inside his head, his brain was starting to babble. ~ Force, oh please, don't leave, please, don't send me away, please, please don't turn away, no, please ~

"Padawan, I have watched you change since we came back from Junmek, I know you have been having problems dealing with what happened. But to watch you in pain, and to be shut out, to be pushed away, that is worse than anything any board or even the Council could do to me." Hands at his side, shoulders slumped, there was a catch in his voice as he continued. "When you will not let me help you, my Obi-Wan, that hurts the worst of all."

That was the final blow for the distraught apprentice. The dam of pent-up emotions burst and Obi-Wan fell to his knees, doubled over, rambling incoherently, alternately begging his master to stay, to not send him away and apologizing over and over. Qui-Gon knelt down and gathered the shaking young man into his arms as the pleas turned to painful wracking sobs, after a moment sliding them both over so he could sit on the floor, leaning back against the old couch, Obi-Wan's face buried in his shoulder. They stayed there as the afternoon shadows lengthened, Qui-Gon holding his apprentice, slowly stroking his head and back, letting the emotions run, shielding them both from the blasts of hurt and shame pouring over their bond. Obi-Wan clutched his master's form, his anchor in the storm of emotions that relentlessly battered him.

As all storms do, even this one eventually ran its course. Shaking became trembling, then an occasional tremor. Sobs diluted to quiet tears, washing away walls of silence. Frantic stranglehold around sturdy ribs became tentative embrace. Finally, there was exhausted stillness.

Obi-Wan twisted and slid down so he was sitting side by side with his master, his head hanging down. Qui-Gon's right arm rested across the younger man's shoulders, thumb gently rubbing small circles. With his left hand, the master pulled off his soaked tabard; with a crooked smile he offered it to his apprentice.

"Go ahead, it's already wet," he said softly.

Flushing, the embarrassed padawan nonetheless took the offered cloth and proceeded to thoroughly blow his nose, then found a dry spot to wipe his face before folding it and setting it aside.

"Thank you, Master," said Obi-Wan in a low, hoarse voice.

"You're welcome."

It was still in the dim room as Obi-Wan hesitantly settled into the large body. Qui-Gon was careful not to push, letting the young man find his own level of ease. Grateful for the unconditional welcome, Obi-Wan quieted, snuggling a little closer, surprised and relieved at how good it felt to be able to finally let go and be comforted.

"Master?"

"Hmmm?"

"I've not handled things very well, Master. I'm sorry to have disappointed you."

"It was a very difficult experience you went through, Obi-Wan. A lot of knights and masters would have had problems."

"That's what people keep telling me, but at least they would have tried harder to resolve things," said Obi-Wan despondently. "It's just...it's all so complicated, and I don't know what to do any more."

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Qui-Gon gently.

The apprentice swallowed, then looked up. "I'd like that, Master."

"Could I ask a favor first?"

"Of course, Master," replied Obi-Wan.

"Would you mind terribly if we sat on the couch instead of the floor?" asked Qui-Gon with a wry smile. "I'm afraid my butt went numb a good half hour ago."

On to part 4...