Master Apprentice
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Yoda's Lesson
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"Young Obi-Wan! In trouble you must be if come to my quarters you do."
"No, Master Yoda, I'm not in trouble. I just --- um, I have some questions --- ah, well --- actually, I guess I'm looking for someone who can tell me how to ---"
"All night I do not have! In you will come. Sit. Tell me what troubles you, you will. Abusing you, your Master is?"
"No! In fact, just the opposite. Lately, he's shown some, ah --- interest --- in me, I think, and, well, tomorrow is my seventeenth birthday and I thought I'd ask him to be my, um, 'first'."
"First? Ah! Understand I do. Virgin you are."
"Yes, Master Yoda."
"Come to the right place, you have. In 800 years, instructed many Padawans in this, I have."
"Really?"
"Why so surprised you look? Know nothing of my species, do you?"
"Well, no, Master. I'm not even certain what species you are."
the sound of a gimer stick banging on the floor "Unimportant this is! Teach you, I can. But, first, strip you must."
the sound of a jaw hitting the floor "Strip?"
"Yes, yes! Strip! See, even 800 year old Jedi Masters must do it."
the sound of clothes being removed, then the thud of something ELSE hitting the floor
"Oh, Force, Master! I've never seen one so ---"
"Impressive?"
"Long."
"Oh. Yes. Long it is, I suppose, to you. Underendowed you humans are. Proper length this is. See? Easy enough it is for me to ---"
strange, wet, smacking sounds
"Oh, please, Master Yoda! Please don't do that!"
"Hmmm, merely preparing it, I am. Why still clothed are you?"
"Sorry, Master Yoda. I just ---"
hastily removes his clothes
"Now, bend over. Show you how this is done, I will."
"WHAT?!"
"Instruction you need. Teach you I will. Show you all the things Qui-Gon likes."
"Forgive me for asking, Master Yoda, but how, exactly, would you know what Qui-Gon likes?"
"His Master I was! Instructed him in this, I did, as well! Think you that I taught him only about lightsabers and serenity?"
"I . . . oh, Force."
the sound of gleeful chuckling "Squicked you, have I? Good for you, this is. Broaden your horizons it will." the sound of something (oh, please let that have been his gimer stick!) striking bare skin "Stalling you are! Bend over, or teach you I cannot!"
"That's okay! I think I've changed my mind! Maybe I'll take a vow of celebacy!" the sound of bare feet running hastily out the door, then the sound of a com switch being thrown
"Jinn, here. Oh, hello, Master Yoda. What may I do for you?"
"Go search out your Padawan, you should. Running through the Temple naked, disrespectful this is."
the sound of a heavy sigh "Please, Master, tell me you didn't give him the 'sex talk'."
more chuckling "Need to do much talking I did not. Into a panic the boy went after one look at the Yoda Stick!"
the sound of the bridge of a crooked nose being pinched between strong fingers "I don't doubt that, Master."
"Hmph. Gave you a few years, I did, before come to you for sex your Padawan will. Thank me, you should."
"Yes. Thank you, my Master."
"Now, find him you must. Tramatized the boy may be, hmmm?"
"Yes, I will most certainly find him."
the sound of the com being switched off, then the thud of a forehead impacting a desktop
"'Gave you a few years, I did, before come to you for sex your Padawan will'," Qui-Gon quoted in a choked voice. "Well, thank you very much, my dear Master. But what if I didn't want a few more years? What if I wanted to be Obi-Wan's first?" He raised his head and rubbed one large hand across his eyes. With a sigh, he got up and retrieved Obi-Wan's robe from the hook by the door.
He knew exactly where the boy would be, fortunately. Yoda's quarters were quite near the Garden of Light, one of Obi-Wan's favorite meditation spots. He would undoubtedly find his apprentice huddled in some of the thick foliage, probably wondering how in the Sith he was going to get back to their quarters without his clothes.
It didn't take Qui-Gon long to reach the garden. He stretched out with his senses. There, behind those bushes . . .
"Obi-Wan?" he called softly.
"Master?"
"Yes. You can come out, now. I've brought you a robe."
He watched, fascinated, as a naked, shivering form unfolded itself. Obi-Wan held one hand over his genitals and reached for the robe with the other, his cheeks lit with a charming shade of bright pink.
"I suppose Master Yoda called you," he said, ducking his head as he disappeared into the folds of fabric.
"Yes."
Obi-Wan's blush deepened, although Qui-Gon wouldn't have believed that to be possible. "And, I suppose he told you why I went to see him?"
"Not specifically. But, I can guess."
Obi-Wan buried his hands in his sleeves, struggling for Jedi serenity and failing miserably, and stared at the grass in front of Qui-Gon's boots. "I guess this is where I get the lecture on how it's only a crush and I'll outgrow it in a year or two and I should really start to see people my own age, right?"
Qui-Gon didn't answer, and after a moment, Obi-Wan looked up hesitantly to meet his Master's eyes.
Qui-Gon cleared his throat. "Actually, no . . ."
Twin eyebrows rose. "No?"
"No." Qui-Gon took a deep breath and surrendered to the Force's leading. "This is where I tell you to follow your heart, my Padawan."
"Follow ---" Obi-Wan swallowed hard, that crease developing between his brows that always showed he was thinking hard about something. He moistened his lips. "So, if I was to ask someone --- someone special --- to be my 'first,' do you think they might agree?"
Qui-Gon felt his heart begin to pound, his breathing quicken, and he folded his arms into his own sleeves in unconscious imitation of his Padawan. "I can't see why anyone would refuse you," he said, struggling to keep his voice steady.
Obi-Wan nodded, the movement so slight that Qui-Gon barely saw it, and he stepped closer, still holding his Master's gaze. "Would it surprise you if I said I was in love?"
Qui-Gon gulped, a shiver running through him. *Oh, Force, don't let me be reading this wrong!* He shook his head. "No. You are a passionate young man." He cleared his throat again. "Anyone I know?"
Obi-Wan took another step, bringing his body so near that Qui-Gon could feel the heat from it, could smell his scent. "Oh, you know him."
"Him?" It came out more a yelp than a word, and Qui-Gon mentally chastised himself. *You're acting like a virgin yourself, Jinn! Get a grip!*
Obi-Wan nodded. His eyes had shifted from gray to stormy green. They held Qui-Gon's full attention, not letting him look away. "Yes," he breathed, the warm air of his breath stirring Qui-Gon's beard. "He's the most thoughtful, most caring person I know. Strong, brave, serene. A Jedi, naturally, strongly in touch with the Living Force."
"And, his name?"
Obi-Wan moistened his lips with the tip of a pink tongue, and Qui-Gon was lost, all his blood rushing to his groin and leaving him lightheaded. "His name?" Obi-Wan repeated, edging closer until his body pressed up against his Master's, his erection plainly in evidence. "I thought that would be obvious. His name is Qui-Gon Jinn."
"Oh," was all that Qui-Gon managed to say, but it was enough. Obi-Wan smiled.
"Yes, my Master. I love you. I have for years." His gaze turned thoughtful, and Qui-Gon felt the Force stir and the younger man lowered his shields.
An overwhelming tide of love and lust and barely banked passion swept over Qui-Gon, and he felt his knees turn to mush. Barely able to keep from crumbling at his Padawan's feet, he reached out to catch the strong, slender shoulders for support. "And, I love you, my own," he said, his voice coming out as little more than a whisper.
"Will you be my first, my Master?" Obi-Wan asked softly.
Qui-Gon felt a grin split his face, and imagined that he looked pretty ridiculous. "Oh, yes, my Padawan," he said. "Oh, yes."
An glorious smile answered him, and he dimly felt Obi-Wan thread an arm through his. "Then, I suggest we adjourn to our quarters, Master. I have many things that I wish to learn, and this garden is scarcely the place for such lessons."
Still grinning, Qui-Gon let himself be led away.
And, back in Yoda's quarters, the little green troll grinned. "Knew it would work, I did," he said.
The End. Or is it?