Master Yoda woke up gay

by Raina

Rating: PG

Category: Humour/Parody

Summary: The "Woke up gay" syndrome has reached the Jedi Temple, fourth part in a series.

Disclaimer: Ok, so I don't own them, big news. I don't own anything, really so suing me would be especially pointless, since I don't make any money of anything.

Spoilers: None that I'm aware of.

Feedback: since I never make any money with anything, it would be nice to at least gain something for my ego. So of course I love feedback of any kind. Even "This sucks, bugger off" is a reaction of some kind.

Author's Note: You should probably read the other three first.

One especially fine morning Grand Master Senior Council Member Master Yoda woke up gay. He chuckled happily to himself and practically floated out of bed and into his robes. He was so happy that he didn't notice he was walking half a foot over the ground on thin air. He attributed the open bewildered staring of the people he met on his way to the mess hall to his stunning looks this morning. Mace was right, he looked especially green these days.

He entered the cafeteria and and immediately, two hundred Jedi turned and stared at him, for he was whistling the newest Dexter goes to Alderaan hit "I wanna swim in your bacta-tank" loudly.

Jedi of every age stared at Master Yoda slack-jawed and with eyes wide with shock. Yoda looked around. "Oh, you think cool I cannot be? You think old and wasted am I? Show you, I will."

He took out a pair of sunglasses and with started to snap his fingers to get some rhythm. He then started to rap, "Force, Force baby! Force, Force, baby!", baking scratching noises with his fork and moving his hands in a strange way.

The whole audience was on their feet in a minute, surged by the Force and the beat, and started to sway with the music, chanting, "Go Yoda! Go Yoda! Go Yoda!"

Yoda meanwhile dropped down on his back and started to break dance, moving in rhythm with the music.

He came to his feet and started to rap, "Through the Jedi Temple of the Force I walk, a look at my life I take and realize much left is there 'Cause teaching Jedi so long I've been That even my Padawans think that gone is my mind Been spending most of my life living in a Jedi's paradise Been spending most of my life living in a Jedi's paradise"

As the Healers came to carry the Jedi Master away, the crowd was still under his mind suggestion, screaming and howling, "Tell it, Master!"

Yoda waved to the crowds, sighing, "Being green, not easy it is!"

Three patients looked up as a giggling and slightly swaying Master Yoda floated into the Healer's ward, restricted section. Yoda looked at each of them, smiling, " Friends! Wonderful is this, truly. Waking up gay, I am!"

He spotted fellow Council Member Mace Windu, and stepped up to the force field containing his friend. "Oh, Mace, missed you I have. Wonderful, you look, suit you, this restrainer does!"

Mace looked at the small Master adoringly, "Oh, Yoda! I missed you too! I'm so glad you woke up gay!"

Yoda stared at Mace with a smouldering glance, "You know, thought about you I have." He took his stick and began to do a little tap-dance routine, singing and swinging, "Every night I sit here by my Windu"

Mace kneeled in front of the force field, eye-level with Yoda and sighed. Master and Padawan in the other cells both made swooning sounds and did a little background dance, singing the background vocals, "Windu!"

"Staring at the lonely Jedi Temple" Yoda continued, still gazing at Mace.

"Jedi Temple" Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan sang along.

Yoda: "Watching Masters holding hands and laughing"
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan: "Ha, ha, ha."
Yoda continued," Thinking about the things we used to do"
Obi-Wan: "Thinking `bout things"
Yoda:"Like a walk in the gardens"
Qui-Gon: "Things"
Yoda:"Like a saber in the dark"
Obi-Wan:"Things"
Yoda:"Like a starship ride
How about the night we meditated?"

Mace and Yoda sang out in duet, gazing moony-eyed at each other, "Things like saber training,things like council meetings, thinking `bout the things we used to do"

"And the Force is the friend I'm talking to!" Yoda sang.

All four inhabitants joined the last line, "Thinking `bout the things we used to do!"