All the way through their nightmeal of meat stew, biscuits and
fruit Anakin plied his masters with an animated retelling of
the events of his entire day, somehow managing to consume a
hearty portion of food while he talked. His masters ate rather
more quietly, smiling as their stellar storyteller was in top
form as usual.
Privately, a few exchanges were made between Master and Knight.
[Koth went to report to Yoda, didn't he, Master?] Obi-Wan asked
finally, passing the basket of biscuits to him.
Qui-Gon did not react outwardly, taking the basket and nodding
to something Anakin was saying. [And well he should, beloved. I
think I know what we will need to spend this evening working
on. The Force is rather having its way with our padawan and
it's about time he worked up some control. He can't be having
visions in class or going into a trance just anywhere. This
concerns me gravely, too.]
On the outside the two adults reacted to Anakin exactly as the
boy expected, even to asking questions. The Jedi Knights had
had plenty of practice at this sort of thing, as they often
needed to consult with one another during particularly
difficult negotiations. Finally Anakin wound down, taking a
final bite and setting his utensil down, his glance drifting
off as his mind settled far away.
[He thinks of his mother,] Obi-Wan noted as he rose to clear
the table of their nightmeal dishes.
[Yes,] Qui-Gon returned silently, sitting back in his chair,
regarding the boy. [But more... he feels so much more now... he
feels the breath of the Force whispering to him.]
Obi-Wan paused to exchange a glance with him. [As do we...]
"Anakin," the Jedi Master murmured quietly.
The boy looked up absently. "Yes, sir?"
"You said you had difficulty meditating this morning. We would
like to work with you a little on that right now," Qui-Gon
replied.
Anakin frowned. "Meditating? Er, sure... I just can't quiet my
mind..."
"Then we'll help," the Master interrupted, rising from the
table. Behind him, the Knight hid a smirk. "Meditation is
critical to the Jedi mind."
"Yes, Master," Anakin sighed and went to help Qui-Gon lay out
the meditation mats in the common room. [But I just ate,] he
was thinking with dismay. [I'll surely fall asleep!]
"So your trainer says you have good concentration?" Qui-Gon
continued, kneeling down and getting into position. "You need
more to master the j'ho form, Padawan. Without a clear mind and
clarity of purpose, you will fail." He stated this as a matter
of fact.
[I've got it half down already, though,] Anakin thought,
narrowing his eyes as he considered the Master's words. He
knelt down also, sitting back on his heels and resting his
palms on his thighs as the elder did.
Obi-Wan, finished with the dishes, came into the room. "You
will fail, Padawan," he added, the faintest of smiles on
his lips. "Which is too bad because the second form, the j'ho,
is the most important form of the Jehadra. J'ho means 'free'
which has nothing to do with freedom but everything to do with
how freely the Force flows under your control. Control demands
focus." He smoothly settled into position. "And focus is
everything."
"I'll try, sir," Anakin said doubtfully, shifting position,
already restless.
"But he knows how to focus," Qui-Gon commented, his expression
impassive. "He won a pod-race, didn't he? He destroyed the
Trade Federation droid control ship. The Force flowed freely
through him..."
"Not that he had any awareness of it, or control of it,"
Obi-Wan calmly countered. "He is used by the Force, true, but
he does not know how to use it. He cannot calm his mind or his
body either. Is he a tool of the Force or is the Force his
tool?"
"Tools, well, he's good at using those," Qui-Gon threw back,
smiling minutely. "Is the Force then nothing but a tool in your
hand, Knight?"
"We work with the Force as our ally, not as a tool, nor
does the Force truly use us as a tool, Master." Obi-Wan grinned
suddenly. "How can you call something you do not know is there
an ally?"
"Hey!" Anakin broke in abruptly. Knight and Master coolly
looked down at him. "Okay, I don't know all about this Force
stuff yet!" He swallowed hard, then glanced from one to the
other. "You're right, I don't know the Force. I'm starting to
sense it, I think..."
"Indeed you are," Qui-Gon murmured. He sighed and closed his
eyes, preparing himself.
"I don't want to fail... you..." the boy said in a small voice,
then more surely, "I won't fail. Please show me, Masters."
"Shields, Padawan," Obi-Wan directed him softly. "Drop them and
we will show you."
"Yes, Master," Anakin whispered as he closed his eyes. To his
credit, he did manage to lower his shields without coaching.
"Very good, Padawan," Qui-Gon said barely above a whisper.
"When Master Koth asked you to calm your mind outside the
training hall, do you know what happened after that?"
The boy frowned again. "I..." He paused, trying to remember.
Then he gasped as it came back to him. "The Force... I heard it
speaking..."
"Do you remember what it said?" Obi-Wan murmured.
"I was remembering that as I performed the j'hi, I felt a surge
of power from you, something that seemed to lift me... made me
stronger somehow..." Anakin's face showed the awe he was
feeling in the memory. "I felt close to you, close to the
Light..." He sighed and a frown came back over his face.
"Somehow, Masters, I know that the Dark wants me..." His eyes
flew open and he looked worriedly at his teachers. "I don't
want to turn to the Dark, ever."
"You are close to us and close to the Light, Ani," Qui-Gon
returned thoughtfully, and sent the boy a mental wave of
assurance, just a light touch. "We will do all in our power to
help you resist the Darkness that you will encounter."
Obi-Wan sent the same, touching the boy's mind delicately. "The
Dark Side is very seductive, Ani, very tricky. When you let
anger rise in you... or when you cling to fears... or when
resentment of others festers within your heart... there is the
Dark. It can get you without your full awareness, which is the
greatest danger. A Jedi must face the worst in himself, see the
danger he is in." He met the boy's gaze steadily. "I myself
have a tendency to let my temper flare up. I fight against it
daily in some form or another. Hence I have become the master
of my anger and do not release it. Instead I channel that
negative energy into something benign, like an extra workout.
Then my state of peace may return. It is only out of peace, out
of a Jedi's state of serenity, that he or she may act with the
use of Force. Otherwise the door to the Dark side is kicked
open."
"You are strong, very strong with the Force, Anakin," Qui-Gon
went on. "Therefore you have the capability for accomplishing
tremendous good with the Force... or tremendous evil."
"I won't turn," Anakin gasped, the Jedi Master's frank words
taken immediately to heart. "I don't want ever to have anything
to do with anything evil!"
Both of his masters immediately touched his mind again, and the
boy settled down. "It's hard to feel peaceful when I'm afraid
of myself, what I might do," Anakin murmured, lowering his
gaze.
"Admitting the fear is the first step," Qui-Gon replied. "Ani,
it's important that you actively will to do good, not give into
anger, and let go of fears. To actively think about the
potential consequences of what you do instead of merely
reacting all the time... though if you do have peace in your
heart, the Force will flow through your reactions already. A
Jedi's meditation returns him to his ground state, the peace he
feels in his connection to the Force through his sensing of
it."
Anakin nodded, looking from one Knight to the other. "I can
feel your peace."
"Then rest in it," Obi-Wan said, closing his eyes and preparing
to meditate.
"Close your eyes, Ani," Qui-Gon whispered. "I will guide you
into the meditative trance we use. It will be well."
With a last restless shifting of position, Anakin closed his
eyes and tried to remain as receptive as he could. "Yes...
Master..." he murmured softly.
The Jedi Master again touched the child's open mind gently.
[Like so, Ani. Follow me...] Qui-Gon, maintaining a light hold
on their padawan's mental processes, slipped into meditative
trance, drawing Anakin in with him.
A full hour later, all three Jedi withdrew from the trance
together, though in their shared bond, they still felt the deep
peace of it. Knight and Master exchanged a warm look, then
glanced at their padawan, whose eyes were still hooded.
Respectfully they waited in silence until he would speak.
After a couple more minutes, Anakin sighed heavily and lifted
his eyes to his elder Master. "Sir, I think I understand some
of it now. I feel wonderful things flowing between us and all
around us... peace, joy, goodness... is that the Force, Master
Qui-Gon?"
The Jedi Master gave him a warm smile. "Yes, Ani, that is the
Force you sense. It is the living energy of the universe. Only
the Force-sensitive who have been trained to use that sense may
experience it."
Anakin gazed back and smiled. "It's... it's great. And I'll
always be able to sense it now?"
"Always when you bring it to awareness." Qui-Gon looked
intently at the child. "Your awareness of and attention to the
Force in each moment is what makes you Jedi. Believe me, it is
a substantially different manner of walking through life with
this awareness than without it. This is the reason why Jedi are
usually trained from a very young age, so that they grow up in
this awareness. You have much to unlearn if the Force is to
transform you, Anakin."
The boy sighed, but nodded in agreement. "My life is starting
all over, is that what you mean, Master? Everything I've known
is now different..."
"Everything will feel different as well," Qui-Gon commented
gently. "But it will take you some time to settle into the
differences, allow them to become part of you."
Obi-Wan, who had been listening quietly, spoke up softly, "On
the other hand, because the Force is strong with you, Ani, much
will come to you easily. What will be difficult for you is
keeping this peace, this balance and harmony within you. If you
cannot do that, then anger and fear will find you all too
easily."
"The Dark Side," Anakin sighed again. "But you know what,
Master Obi-Wan? Being here with you and Master Qui-Gon...
sharing a bond with you..." Shyly the boy paused to touch their
bond, not an intimate touching as his masters would share, but
just reaching out to reassure himself that the bond was there.
"I already feel so different, Masters." His voice dropped,
reverent, and they could feel his awe. "I don't feel cold
anymore, I don't feel lonely, and..." Anakin paused again,
hesitant to say words that a nine-year-old boy normally did not
think to need or want to say. "I know that you both care for
me." His eyes slid away in embarrassment. "I feel safe."
The two adults looked at one another then, wondering at the
child's perceptions. [He needs this,] Obi-Wan silently sent to
his lover. [Qui-Gon, I know you cannot treat him as you needed
to treat me when you first took me as padawan. I know Anakin
needs parenting that I did not at thirteen. We will love him
well...]
[I loved you at thirteen, dearest,] Qui-Gon countered, sending
a flare of intense love. [I loved you then as a father, even
more than I can love this child now. I was your teacher, so I
could not let you develop that kind of dependence on me. I had
to train you as if, when you reached Knighthood, I would never
see you again, never need to guide you. Yes, Anakin needs
parenting and love, but he will not have us always. The Order
is his family now, his father.]
[As soon as I knew what manner of man you were, how close you
were to the Force, I loved you also,] Obi-Wan replied,
returning the wave of love. [So are we to show Anakin that we
care for him, or...]
[Did you truly not know I cared?] Qui-Gon asked, amused.
[You were inscrutable. Considering how reluctant you
were to accept me, I could not read you.]
[Think.]
Aloud, the Jedi Master said to the boy, "I'm glad that you know
this, Ani. Hold tight to what you have learned. You have new
eyes now, and must use them constantly."
"Yes, Master," Anakin replied, beaming proudly. "Sir, may I go
now?"
"Yes, Padawan, you may go. You may fetch us in the morning for
the t'che," Qui-Gon answered. He nodded as the boy stood and
bowed to each of them in turn, then departed the room, a
definite bouncy spring to his step.
Obi-Wan waited until they were alone, then looked over again.
"All right, yes, I knew you cared for me, but the problem was I
would not believe it because I did not believe I was worthy.
I... had not handled your rejection of me well."
"That's so long ago now..." Qui-Gon sighed. "You are over that,
yes?"
"Oh, very over," Obi-Wan replied, grinning. He rose from the
meditation mat in one smooth movement, then, when the other
arose as well, collected the mats and put them away.
Qui-Gon observed as his former student moved around the room,
thinking how very far his Obi-Wan had indeed come in twelve
years. Yet much was the same - even at thirteen, Obi-Wan's
courage and dedication had been impressive. The boy had been as
committed to being Jedi as the master was himself, open and
devoted to all that Qui-Gon could teach him. Strong in the
Force had the youngster always been, and did not hesitate in
the use of his powers, proving very early on to be an able and
worthy assistant to Master Jinn in his work as a Republic
diplomat. Qui-Gon had come to rely on Obi-Wan's commitment,
finding a satisfaction in teaching him to surpass even that
which he had come to know in working with Xanatos... the
perfect student who had given in to the Dark in the end.
[He's matured beautifully,] Qui-Gon noted with pleasure. [A
more worthy life-companion I cannot even imagine... so adult,
so... beautiful...] He could not help but sigh, feeling a swell
of love and desire rise within him.
Obi-Wan turned at the sound. "Master?" he inquired softly, a
small smile on his lips - was he also indulging in pleasurable
thoughts about his beloved teacher? "Is there anything I may do
for you, Master?"
The title was a caress, undeniably. Qui-Gon looked into the
calm blue depths of his young lover's eyes as they lifted to
his. "You do so much already," he murmured, his lips curving a
little into a smile. "Obi-Wan, your devotion honors and humbles
me."
"Well, you are a humble man," Obi-Wan replied, the smile
broadening. "As well as the Master of my heart and soul. I am
in turn honored by your love..." He paused and neared, raising
his hands to lay finger tips against Qui-Gon's tunic. "And your
desire..."
Qui-Gon inhaled deeply as he gazed into the Knight's face,
which mirrored his own desire so plainly, the fine nostrils
slightly flared, the solemn blue eyes a bit hooded. "Which
seems to match yours, Padawan."
"Then direct me, beloved Master," murmured Obi-Wan a bit
breathily. "I am yours. Find your serenity in commanding me,
your devoted servant. As I shall find mine in submitting myself
gladly to you."
The Master went still within, reading his beloved closely.
There was already nothing in his lover's mind that wasn't
already serene, as if the act of this offer and the hope for
what he wanted to give was in itself a source for peace.
Qui-Gon could never accept the offer if it threatened their
harmony, their center in the Force. There was no threat here.
Astounded, Qui-Gon realized he now understood something that he
hadn't fully before. This was to be an equal exchange of power,
no more. There was no Dark here as long as the gift was
respected. What Obi-Wan proposed was a form of expression of
their love... just one form of the potential many. [No greater
blessing can this man give me than his trust,] he thought,
calming. He thought he also felt the silent support of the
entity which shared his cells, felt the Force sure and strong
within them both. It would be good, and Light, and a blessing
to them both.
Obi-Wan, waiting for his Master to decide, smiled as he sensed
the other's growing acceptance. [I do not know how I know this,
beloved,] he thought to him, [but somehow I believe this will
give me strength and confidence, more so than before.
Somehow... it's like we're taking something that in another
context seems evil and we're going to change it, transform it
into something very beautiful.]
[Another context... like slavery...]
Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes bright.
[Redeeming evil is an act of healing, beloved,] Qui-Gon
admitted finally. [Are we then healing one another? If this
brings you confidence, what might I expect it to bring me?]
The Knight's eyes glittered as he gazed up at him. [You cannot
tell me you have nothing left from which you need healing. I
know better.]
The Master's eyes widened as he realized that Obi-Wan indeed
knew his heart... and knew of the pains that still afflicted it
from time to time. Jezrael. Xanatos, for all his protesting.
Even times when death had brushed either or both of them
closely, or other losses... Obi-Wan's near-memory wipe on
Phindar, for one. Having to leave Shmi Skywalker a slave on
Tatooine was another. Those experiences that had scraped away
at the walls of the Jedi Master's compassionate heart. Did
Obi-Wan indeed intend this to effect that healing within
him?
[In part,] Obi-Wan responded truthfully. [By my trust... but I
hope and intend to accomplish as much or more by loving you,
caring for you as long as the Force wills.]
[Then let us begin, my Obi-Wan...] Qui-Gon closed his eyes
briefly, drawing in his breath, then letting it out slowly. "I
will prepare you," he whispered, backing up a bit. "Hold your
arms back behind you, away from your body."
Managing to keep his relieved grin off his face, Obi-Wan,
relishing the first command, complied, assuming the requested
stance easily. Then he drew his breath in sharply as he felt a
wave of the Force pass over him, and just like that his
clothing began to fall away from him - belt, sash, tabard, over
and under tunics - puddling to the floor behind him. He was
left in only pants and boots.
"Kneel down."
The Knight sighed softly as he knelt before his Master.
"Cross your wrists at the small of your back," Qui-Gon added.
As yet, he stood still, his arms folded over his chest,
regarding his lover impassively... though his own heart rate
had increased just as the other's had.
So far, this was very much like Ritual, but Obi-Wan knew this
path would soon diverge from that. Both held appeal. This,
perhaps, would become a new Ritual that they would construct
together. He obeyed, crossing his wrists behind him and laying
them against the hollow at his waist. He lowered his eyes as he
felt the intensity of his master's gaze upon him. The peace of
the Force... flowed between them, as well as... an incredibly
erotic tension.
[So beautiful...] Qui-Gon sighed even as he grasped the other
man's chin, tilting his head back. Obi-Wan was pliant in his
grasp, yielding easily, trusting him completely. The Master
bent down and gently clasped his large hand around the throat
stretched so willingly for him. A caress... and a claiming. And
there was no fear in Obi-Wan's mind, only his absolute trust.
Qui-Gon withdrew his hand a moment later, but felt the
sensation linger in the other, as if Obi-Wan now wore a collar
that had been placed there. [Mine.]
[Yours, Master,] Obi-Wan sighed back into the other man's mind,
sending with it a wave of devotion even as he shivered from the
echo of the sensation.
Straightening, Qui-Gon walked around behind his lover, and
stooped to pick up the fallen sash. Then he went to one knee
briefly to loop the sash around the crossed wrists, and
carefully tied them together.
Obi-Wan felt his penis swell suddenly and he nearly moaned at
the sensation of the light binding of his wrists.
[Serenity, my Padawan?] the Jedi Master inquired calmly.
[You command my serenity, Master,] came back the fervent reply.
[Do with it what you will.]
[Indeed, my own.] Qui-Gon, feeling fluid and free, his controls
perfect, touched his lover at his core, sending a new peace
flooding through him.
The touch to his mind only sent Obi-Wan deeper along his path
to the complete submission he sought. There wasn't a shred of
shield left up between him and his master. [I yield, Master.]
"Aloud."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan murmured huskily. "I yield to you, only
and ever, Master."
"Such a beautiful offering," Qui-Gon whispered low, standing
and returning to face him. "My beautiful submissive..." He slid
his hand into Obi-Wan's hair and gripped it at the back in an
unmistakably possessive gesture that sent another jolt of lust
up the Knight's spine. And again the prompt touch to the
younger man's mind, the calm flooding back in.
Then Qui-Gon neared, pulling his lover's head up to the level
of his groin, and toward him so that his cheek was pressed
against his crotch. He held him there for a few moments, noting
internally that Obi-Wan was still calm, though feeling a deep,
floating pleasure in being manipulated so lovingly by his
master.
"Many things have happened this day, Padawan," Qui-Gon
murmured, resting in the power his lover allowed him. "The last
two days... I hadn't seen Jez in twenty years, never heard from
him again though sometimes I overheard someone else mention his
name. Apparently he worked very quietly, subtly in the Outer
Rim, using his Jedi powers to foil the Hutts anonymously or
convince smugglers to help out the poor, that sort of thing. I
have no doubt that he was very effective." He closed his eyes,
slightly tightening his grip on Obi-Wan's hair. "I have no idea
what happened at Poothradin, how he got his injury..."
When he paused, Obi-Wan ventured to speak up. "I feel the
tension within you, Master," he whispered, loving the feel of
the other man's hardness beneath his clothing but against his
face.
"Yesss..." Qui-Gon sighed. It was indeed arousing to hold his
lover against him like this, though he also felt the pulse of
delayed sexual frustration which caused a new tension within
him. "He kissed me, Padawan. And my body responded... I hadn't
expected that. I didn't want that..." He sighed again, more
deeply, almost a groan. "I don't want him... but for a moment
it was as if twenty years had melted away."
He released his grip on Obi-Wan's hair, letting him sit back on
his heels again. "I want you, Obi-Wan," he whispered. "Now and
always." He lifted his tunic and began to work his pants open.
"I want you to pleasure me, make me forget that there was ever
anyone in my life but my beautiful padawan learner, Obi-Wan..."
Obi-Wan felt himself sinking deeper into the floating
sensation, and he yielded to it gladly. Again the surge of
desire, again the deft touch in his mind, replacing with calm.
Like in the Ritual, this was dependent on the pulse of the
Force, the ebb of desire and the flow of their serenity. Hence
he watched in peace as his master exposed himself to him, then
gently guided him forward again.
[Now, my Obi-Wan,] Qui-Gon sent, [take my tensions from me...]
[Yes, Master,] Obi-Wan replied ardently as he took his master's
penis in his mouth.
Qui-Gon inhaled sharply as he threaded his hands into Obi-Wan's
hair again, willing himself to hold still as the young man's
tongue gently pushed back his foreskin and his mouth went
deeper on him. [Yes, so good, beloved...] His large hands
clasped the other's head, caressing and directing him, though
his fingers soon tightened again.
Obi-Wan was soon flying on the double bliss of being held so
captive by his beloved Master and of sucking so avidly on his
long, heavy member. Indeed, it could be accurately said that he
had already entered an altered state of consciousness as if in
a meditative or healing trance, one in which his complete
yielding combined with the finely controlled erotic desires
pulsing within him served to cause endorphins to flood his
brain. Still further he yielded himself, relaxing his throat,
using Force to suppress any gag reflex as he took Qui-Gon in
even deeper.
And indeed the Master, his mind half merged with his lover's,
shared the trance-like state even as he began to feel the surge
of power within him in his utter possession of the other. As
his own arousal deepened, balanced by his interior calm,
Qui-Gon began to thrust forward in rhythm with the other's
strokes. [There is only now, and there is only you,] he spoke
deeply into Obi-Wan's mind.
[There is only now, and there is only you,] the Knight repeated
silently into his master's core.
[There is only pleasure, and there is only you,] the Master
continued to intone.
[There is only pleasure, and there is only you,] Obi-Wan echoed
the litany.
It went on: [There is only commitment... there is only
service... there is only serenity... there is only knowledge...
there is only love... there is only Jedi... there is only
Light...there is only the Force...]
Qui-Gon Jinn cried out his lover's name aloud as he shot deep
into Obi-Wan's throat. Long he shuddered, holding onto the
other's head, keeping him firmly in place, though they were
both soon unaware of the physical as the mental echo of the
Master's orgasm exploded in both their minds. A deluge of pure
Force flooded their mingled minds, taking them both into the
higher realms of consciousness as before in their first Ritual.
Though this was lesser to that yet still higher than anything
either had ever experienced before with any other lover, Ritual
or no. They felt cleansed in the Force, purified...
Sometime later they awoke to the now, the Master discovering
that he now held his beautiful Knight close against his chest,
both lying on the floor in a heap... the wrists of the Knight
still bound for him. He checked his lover; Obi-Wan wore an
expression of bliss, smiling contentedly as he nuzzled against
him. Qui-Gon unwove the knot of the sash binding his lover's
wrists still close against his back, then pulled Obi-Wan's arms
around his own waist.
Sensing something, he looked up. The Guardian stood facing away
from them, leaning against the door jamb, the unlit lightsaber
in his hand. [You...]
[We... are renewed also...] came back the startling reply.
[We... cannot help but... share.]
Awed, Qui-Gon did not know what to say to that. There was
nothing whatsoever of recrimination in the entity's demeanor or
thoughts, but rather... a hint of gratitude.
The shadowy form that so resembled himself shifted position,
returning the lightsaber to his belt. [Tend to your beloved,
Qui-Gon Jinn,] the entity added, and Qui-Gon thought he caught
a hint of a smile.
[Anakin? You shielded us from him?]
[Yes.] No further explanation was offered, although if the
entity had chosen to tell him, it could have revealed that the
shielding it offered was not exactly complete. If subtle
emanations of their bliss and their shared peace should leak
out to the Temple, non-directional, then was that not a good
thing? The being of the Force itself would not allow Council
members to question feeling a nameless easing of their worries,
or padawan learners to wonder why they felt minutely more
confident in their growing abilities... or Anakin Skywalker to
give a moment's thought to why he felt so happy this evening,
playing at complete ease with his new Jedi friends...
Perhaps only Yoda, through the medium of his own symbiont...
guessed...
[Thank you,] Qui-Gon humbly replied to the Force-entity who
shared his physical self.
[We are grateful as well. Now, tend to your Knight, he
awakes...] The entity turned his back on him again, still
faintly smiling. Qui-Gon noted that he made no effort to
re-merge with him. Interesting...
Obi-Wan began to stir against his shoulder. "Beloved..."
Qui-Gon whispered, caressing his hair and neck. He opened his
mouth to say something again, but in the next moment found
himself pulling the other man further up his body as he bent
down and kissed him hard instead, feeling a rush of love for
him within.
The Knight woke up to being soundly kissed, and for once was
able to come to full alertness, a trick he had never seemed to
fully learn from his master. Obi-Wan returned the kiss eagerly,
opening his mouth to him, then a moment later froze as two
things impinged finally on his awareness.
His wrists. The Guardian. Obi-wan pulled away abruptly to stare
at the entity's back a moment, then looked back into Qui-Gon's
curious gaze, his eyes widened. "The sash..." he breathed and
suddenly had to duck his eyes from him.
"I untied it, not you, beloved," the Master hastily reassured
him. "I wanted your arms around me."
Obi-Wan glanced up again toward the door, meaningfully.
[Again?]
[Did you want the entire Temple in on that?] Qui-Gon
teased him gently. [Even our shields are not that adamantine,
especially in the throes of...] There was no word for what they
had just shared. "Ecstasy" seemed too pale... Quickly he shared
the brief conversation he'd had with the Guardian.
"He seems insistent on becoming more involved with you, us,"
Obi-Wan sighed as Qui-Gon loosened his hold on him, sitting up.
He lay back then, leaning on his elbows, one knee bent, his
legs parted. "So, are we a triad now?" Obi-Wan couldn't help
joking, feeling as relaxed and languid as he had all day.
Qui-Gon glanced back at his lover, his eyes widening a bit to
see the young man's wanton, easy sprawl. Combined with the
sensual smirk, the Knight looked inviting indeed. The Master
felt a stir of arousal to his astonishment, then when he saw
the other's meaningful glance downward - and a wider smirk - he
realized the source of his lover's amusement. Flashing him a
quick grin, Qui-Gon hastily put his clothes... and self... in
order, then nodded toward a lower region on his companion. "It
seems that this new Ritual was mutually beneficial," he said,
then chuckled as Obi-Wan discovered the dark, wet stain on the
front of his pants. "And it would seem that we are a triad of
sorts, yes. And one day to be a foursome, it seems."
Obi-Wan sobered and sat up, hugging his knees. "You are sure of
that?" He knew he could feel nothing in his own mind to suggest
any sort of entity was sharing his brain.
The Jedi Master nodded, reaching to touch his cheek in
reassurance. "The Guardian said so..." He took a deep breath.
"And I can feel it as well. Now that I'm more aware of the
Guardian, I'm aware of the same in others... I'm sure there are
more on the Council who also possess such an entity. But you...
yes, love. I believe one day Anakin will be as we are as well."
The Jedi Knight nodded, solemn. He glanced over briefly to
their silent sentinel. [Qui-Gon, so this is truly a step in
evolution for the Jedi?]
[He hears our sent thoughts as well as our speech, beloved,]
Qui-Gon told him, sighing. "But, yes, it appears to be so. I
have a strong feeling that the reappearance of the Sith and the
emergence of the Force entities is no coincidence. While Anakin
may be significant one day in balancing the Force, I believe he
is only one piece to the larger puzzle of what the Force is
about at this time."
"I confess I don't understand about balancing the Force,
Master," Obi-Wan admitted. "The Jedi are strong and there is
only one Sith Lord left. Does this mean that the Sith must
become equal to us? Then this is a time to be feared, not
celebrated. All our work to keep Anakin from the Dark may be
for naught."
Qui-Gon sat up, crossing his long legs before him. "I sense the
balance to come has a wider scope than just the Jedi. There is
already much, much decadence and corruption in the Republic, so
much that it has drawn the Sith out from their thousand-years
absence. I would say the Dark already has the upper hand.
Unlike the Jedi, the Sith do not rely on sheer numbers to
spread their influence. The Dark is so much more seductive than
the Light that a very few can create substantial havoc. Even
one Sith can cause terrors that the whole of the Jedi would be
hard pressed to reverse."
"Then things will get worse before they get better," Obi-Wan
sighed, resting his chin on his knees. "Will we live to see
through to that day?"
Together they glanced up at the tall, dark, unmoving back of
the Guardian. "He knows," Qui-Gon murmured quietly. "The Force
knows everything, backwards and forwards in time and along
every possible continuum. It saw the path from your vision,
Obi-Wan, and knows everything that would have taken place
following my death on Naboo."
"We were not going to talk about that anymore," Obi-Wan
reminded him with a sharp intake of breath and a frown. "But if
the Guardian is in your mind, can you not see what he sees,
Master?"
Qui-Gon shook his head and looked down at his hands in his lap.
"No, beloved, I cannot. He occupies a portion of my mind, but I
do not share his. Not that we do not have a bond - we do. I
feel him more all the time. I believe the Guardian has chosen
to live closer to living beings just as we have chosen to live
close to the Light side of the Force. He has decided to serve
as Protector and Guide... because of the boy. We have a
stewardship in training Anakin that is highly critical."
He did not have to say, but they both knew... if Anakin
Skywalker was somehow turned to the Dark, the consequences
would be devastating to the Jedi and the entire Republic. This
one small child, this nine-year-old boy, harbored a potential
power that few sentient beings had ever carried.
"I'd better change these," Obi-Wan murmured, indicating his
pants. He rose to his feet gracefully and disappeared into
their sleeping room.
Qui-Gon, still pensive, felt a pressure on his back. Giving
silent assent, he mentally invited the Guardian to re-merge
with him. It felt incredible, like a whole-body caress of the
Force from head to toe. Smiling, he rose as well, drawing his
cloak close around him. Closing his eyes, he could sense the
Guardian within now, part of him yet independent. Qui-Gon
paused to read his bonds - Obi-Wan, pulling off his boots in
the other room... Anakin, the bond more nebulous, only a
frisson of emotion accessible... the boy evinced cheerfulness
and boyish playfulness with an undercurrent of respect. That
was good; the child knew very well how late he'd come to the
Temple and that every other person there had years of immersion
in the Jedi way... and he had had a week. Anakin was a sponge
and would soon soak up Jedi ways as well, make up for lost
time. [We will keep him close and cared for,] Qui-Gon thought
soberly.
"A walk in the gardens, beloved?" he offered his lover.
A mental caress. "I was hoping to check my dataposts this
evening," Obi-Wan returned, pulling a clean pair of pants from
the press. "Do you mind? I could catch up with you in a bit."
"Not at all," Qui-Gon called back through the door. "I probably
have more messages waiting than you, but I don't mind leaving
them for tomorrow. I need more to stretch my legs, get some
air."
"I'll find you," Obi-Wan replied, sitting on the bed as he
pulled his boots back on after changing. "I'm afraid I have a
batch of friends waiting to hear what the Sith has happened to
me." He looked up as Qui-Gon stood in the doorway and grinned.
"And do I ever have something to report!"
"Are you leaving any disappointed lovers behind, Obi-Wan?" the
Master asked, smiling.
Obi-Wan chuckled. "Only disappointed occasional bedmates...
mostly just apprentice friends, a couple of whom I have shared
a bed with on occasion. No one serious. You'd already know,
otherwise. Bant, the last time I heard from her, was out near
the Corellia system with her master." At Qui-Gon's amused
expression, he hastily added, "No, she was never a bedmate!" He
grabbed a pillow from the bed and hurled it at the door with
mock fury. Obi-Wan's childhood friend, Bant, was a Mon
Calamarian and not exactly anatomically... suitable... for
coupling with a human.
Qui-Gon caught the pillow deftly. "Of course not," he murmured,
winking. "Are we going to need to reveal everyone we've ever
been with to each other?"
The Knight narrowed his eyes at him, sure that his master was
teasing him. In their twelve years together, about half of that
was spent deciphering when Qui-Gon Jinn indulged in the rare
occurrence of teasing his padawan learner. But Obi-Wan had fast
learned, on those occasions, to tease straight back. "Do you
even remember them all? I mean, over some nearly forty years...
Force, you must have loved a great many."
Teasing? Perhaps, perhaps not. "Not nearly forty!" Qui-Gon
laughed anyway. "I wasn't a prodigy in all areas, I'm glad to
say. There were... a couple when I was a padawan... then
Jezrael. During the years I trained Solek and Xanatos there
were several brief liaisons, occasional one-nighters..." He
trailed away, remembering.
"You never told me if you and Xanatos were intimate," Obi-Wan
inquired quietly.
Qui-Gon glanced at him quickly. "The... intimacy... was not a
sexual one, of course," he replied, taking a deep breath. "At
least I would not allow it to become that, despite what I might
have desired..."
Their eyes met. The elder held the gaze of his young lover
steadily. "I fell in love with his beauty, intelligence, and
sheer physical prowess." Qui-Gon admitted honestly. "And I let
that blind me to his true character. We were... physically
close in the manner of brothers, perhaps a bit more so, though
there was no sexual contact. I believe now that he encouraged
this... and would have readily allowed a sexual relationship if
I had given him any indication that it was acceptable... which
I did not." He sighed and reached his hand out to Obi-Wan, who
uncurled from the bed and came to him, slipping his fingers
into his. "But the night before he left for home, that fateful
'last trial' of his, I nearly..."
Qui-Gon raised his lover's hand to his face, laying the back of
it against his cheek. "He was nearly a Knight then, and I
wanted to take him into my bed so badly... I ached, wanting
him."
Obi-Wan ducked his gaze then. "I thought... that's how it was,"
he murmured. Then he looked up into his lover's eyes again.
"I'm glad you never had sex with him."
"So am I," Qui-Gon said firmly, though Obi-Wan had looked like
he was going to add something. "He was using me to reach his
ambitions. I was furious when I realized his duplicity. No
more. I will not allow myself to be swayed in such a manner
again."
It was a good ten seconds before Obi-Wan realized he was
referring to Anakin. "I... understand. You know, I did have a
brief thought that Anakin's potential was blinding you to
his... danger."
"Not at all," Qui-Gon countered smoothly. He kissed the back of
the other's hand reverently as if to assure him of his
feelings. "Would you have left that for the Sith to
find? Especially as he'd managed to track us to Tatooine?
Better to have Anakin here even if the Sith know where
he is, than to not have contact with him at all, leaving him
completely vulnerable to their influence. I believe it's very
likely the Sith Master is here on Coruscant." The Jedi Master
breathed a deep sigh. "Something I think it best not to dwell
on. So, you have been worried that I was too enamored of the
boy?" He lowered the other's hand, though kept the fingers
firmly in his.
"No, Master," Obi-Wan replied hastily.
"Good," Qui-Gon murmured, pulling on the hand gently. "I would
like to think I'm a wiser man these days. At least I know the
wisdom in keeping you at my side to help with him... for
selfish reasons, of course." He smiled as he bent down and
brushed his lips against Obi-Wan's. "And I would have you at my
side forever, beloved."
Obi-Wan smiled even as the words gave him an internal shiver of
pleasure. He slipped his free hand around the taller man's
waist, drawing the long frame against him. "I will be nowhere
else. We will train Anakin to be a good, strong Jedi, and
perhaps others... and in the hard times again, we will
steadfastly fight for the Light together."
"Indeed," Qui-Gon whispered in agreement before he bent to kiss
him.
Slowly, leisurely they kissed, even as Qui-Gon released
Obi-Wan's hand to wrap his arms around his back. As tongues
twined, so also did their minds, wrapping love each around the
other. Gone long before was the Master who had been infatuated
with a padawan... gone long before was the padawan so desperate
to win his master's approval... and love. The two men accepted
the love of the other in confidence and ease now.
Somewhere within the Jedi Master, the Guardian wore an internal
smile, sharing in his host's happiness...
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