When Everything is Made to be Broken

by Catclaw ( catclawisil@yahoo.com )

Title: When Everything is Made to be Broken
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: If they were mine, Qui-Gon would be alive… And I would be rich, and a man and seeing as I'm neither of those things...
Summary: Set after TPM, Obi-Wan wakes alone.

And I’d give up forever to touch you. ‘Cause I know that you feel me somehow…
And sooner or later it’s over, I just don’t want to miss you tonight.
- Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Half asleep Obi-Wan reached out next to him, groping around on the bed for the familiar warmth to snuggle closer to. Frowning in confusion when he couldn’t find it, he opened his eyes. Qui-Gon wasn’t there. Of course he’s not here! Obi-Wan chided himself mentally, and he won’t be here, never again…

Every time he had to realise that fact it felt like he was losing his master all over again. He’d tried to release his grief to the Force, force had he tried. But he couldn’t let go of it. He clung to it as though it could bring the man he loved back. Only he knew that it wouldn’t. Something that he had meditated on time and again, but nothing helped.

He knew that the other Jedi in the temple had been trying to help him, but it wasn’t working. They hadn’t had to watch their master die, hadn’t been stuck behind an energy field unable to be at their master’s side, like they should have been, helpless as the one they loved in all the galaxy was sliced straight through with a lightsabre.

Tears ran down his face as he lay back down and cried himself to sleep. Where his dreams were filled with the look on Qui-Gon’s face as he was pierced by the ‘sabre blade.

Watching Obi-Wan from his place in the beyond, Qui-Gon felt his heartbreak.

END