summary: Obi-Wan comforts his master and shares an intimate
memory.
Subject: Q/O
Rating: PG-13 - First Times?? Definitely romance.
Mush alert!!!
Archive: Master & Apprentice, The Nesting Place, OKEB, QGEB
Feedback - Please be kind and let me know what you think -
pretty please with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan wrestling to see who's
on top <g>
Disclaimer: Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon belong to the Force that is
George Lucas - he of the incredible luck and multi-million
dollars. Please don't sue, as I have none of that stuff.
Many, many Obi-Wan kisses to both Chris and Heather for
beta'ing my stuff - you two are the best ;D
A heart-sore and battle-weary Jedi Master crawled into bed
behind his equally heart-sore and battle-weary Padawan learner,
and wrapped his arms around him tight. The dispute they had
tried so hard to resolve had deteriorated into open warfare and
the two men had had to fight their way to their transport ship
and flee the planet. Negotiations would be fruitless until the
bloodlust had died down. So now all the Jedi Council and the
Republic could do was watch and wait.
"It couldn't be stopped Master," Obi-Wan tried to comfort his
love. "They didn't want to listen. There was nothing you could
have done to stop this. It was the will of the Force."
Qui-Gon just held the younger man closer still. That last laser
blast had come so close to Obi-Wan, deflected at the last
possible second. 'I could have lost you love,' he thought
almost desperately.
Sensing his teacher's disquiet Obi-Wan turned in the embrace
and held the elder equally fiercely until Qui-Gon had regained
some semblance of control. "Shall I tell you a story
this time, Master?" Obi-Wan teased lightly.
"Yes," came the rasped reply, startling the apprentice. "Yes,
beloved. Tell me when you knew," Qui-Gon trailed off.
"Tell you when I knew you were my lifebonded, my beloved
master?" Obi-Wan lovingly inquired. Gathering his master to him
just as Qui-Gon had so often done when Obi-Wan was young and
scared, he felt Qui-Gon snuggle into the crook of his neck.
Obi-Wan sorted out his thoughts and began.
"You've always been the center of my galaxy, since the moment
you finally called me Padawan. That word was like a blessing to
me when you spoke it that first time. I was 13 and I already
knew that I would never have anything more than friendships
with the girl's I'd gone to the academy with. I'd even
experimented a bit with some of them, but it had just felt
nice, not essential. I began to wonder if I would ever know
love."
"Then one day, about a year after you took me as Padawan, we
were at the temple on Coruscant and I had actually woken
earlier than you, so I watched you sleep instead of disturbing
you. Your hair and beard had started to show streaks of gray,
but in sleep the lines of care and worry eased and you looked
younger, more vulnerable. And my heart contracted."
"I was afraid it was a crush, after all I was only 14 and you
were twice that. I had often heard of Padawan's developing and
infatuation for their Master's. And you were a man."
"It is a common occurrence Padawan," Qui-Gon confirmed. "One
that every Master looks for and knows how to discourage. You
were troubled by the fact that you felt desire for a man?"
Qui-Gon asked, moving down to rest against Obi-Wan's breast,
half listening to, half feeling the powerful beat of his
beloved's heart.
"It was unexpected, Master. I'd always been more
attracted to girls than boys. But it was not a boy who had
attracted me this way. It was a man. You. I was so confused by
my feelings I actually got up early and went to one of the
meditation gardens voluntarily." He paused a moment, smiling
softly at the sound of his master's rumbling laugh, happy his
self-deprecating humor was so well received.
"I'd just gotten into a comfortable meditation position when I
felt a presence behind me. It was Master Windu. He was somewhat
surprised to see me up so early and alone. I didn't realize it
until then just how much I lived in the shadow of my master.
Master Windu told me that he sensed I was troubled and perhaps
I should speak to you before attempting to meditate. I suppose
my reaction was very telling because he asked me if he could
help. The next thing I knew I was pouring out all my fears,
frustrations, suspicions, wants, needs, desires and wishes to
him."
"He took some time, asking me pointed questions, sorting
through the morass of information I had given him and finally
shared his thoughts with me. First, he assured me that love
between two people of the same gender was just as beautiful and
pure as love between two people of opposite genders. Something,
he said, I already knew. Which was true, I did - I just needed
to hear it confirmed by one of my elders."
"Then Master Windu told me that he thought my feelings were
very real and very mature. In fact, he said that I was very
lucky to know my heart so well and be so mature for a young man
of 14. He said I would be a great Jedi someday. I was
speechless. He told me to close my mouth and return to my
meditations with an easier heart. That I would know how to
approach you when the time was right. With that he left me
alone. I resumed my abandoned position, calmed my mind and
attempted to meditate. Instead I had a vision of myself, much
older than I was then, in a strange place, half wearing strange
clothes and you, taking my face in your hands and kissing me
senseless."
"The Moonwinds masque." Qui-Gon murmured softly.
"Yes. I had seen my future and it gave me the strength I needed
over the next four years as I fell deeper and deeper in love
with you, never suspecting that you felt the same way. The
first Moonwinds celebration we attended together, I could see
the heat in your eyes and thought to myself 'at last' only to
have you pull completely away from me."
"The two weeks you had me work with Master Windu would have
broken my heart, except Master Windu unexpectedly said one day
'Have faith Obi-Wan, your future is closer than you think.' How
he knew' Ill never guess, and so I clung to that. When you came
back it was as if you'd come to a decision about your life, one
I couldn't understand but tried to accept."
"And you didn't pull away from me anymore. Our thoughts and
bodies touched frequently and I thought I could be content with
that if that was all I was truly meant to have."
"Then we returned to Alderaan to witness the Moonwinds festival
once again, and at your insistence too, and my heart leapt.
Could it be that my vision was at last coming true?"
"Once again I needed your assistance with my domino and once
again I saw that flash of desire in your eyes. but this time
you didn't pull away. This time you kissed me."
"And when we drew apart, your eyes glistened with unshed tears
and you looked up at me and very somberly said, 'I've been
waiting for you Master, my love.' And for the first time that I
could remember I felt complete - whole." Qui-Gon finished the
tale.
Drawing his lover's head up, Obi-Wan kissed Qui-Gon with the
same soul shattering intensity of that first kiss and said
"I've been waiting for you Master, my love and my lifebonded."
"Obi-Wan, beloved." Qui-Gon sighed, cuddling against the
younger man.
"I am here master. Sleep. Tonight it's my turn to comfort and
watch over you. Tonight I will keep your night terrors away."
Feathering a soft caress over Qui-Gon's temple, Obi-Wan settled
back to watch his love sleep, arms wrapped securely around his
lifebonded. Tonight he was the protector and his love the one
in need. It was balance.
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