My website url: http://homes.arealcity.com/HiddenRealm/
Archive: By Master & Apprentice, my site, WWOMB and
SithChicks
Pairing: O/Other, Q/Other, O/Q
Category: Alternate Universe
Rating: NC-17 for the series; this episode rated R
Disclaimer: [FILL IN USUAL LEGAL CRAP HERE THAT NO ONE READS
ANYWAY]
Warning: Spew. Ain't it time for one of those? Oh, and cute kid
alert too.
Summary: A few more (somewhat sillier, somewhat sadder) days
riding the Wheel.
Notes: Can you BELIEVE I've managed to keep this up to 22? As
you no doubt know by now, I'm paying homage to the great SF
author, L. Sprague DeCamp with this story. Thanks (as always)
to Beta Readers Par Excellence Fox, HiperBunny and Emrin
Alexander. Thank you, ladies, my cup runneth over with your
support. NOTES ON FIC: Sionnach is from the story Fox and I did
called "Ki and Oh-Oh and the Big Bad Sith", which is in the
archive. Sith Academy Maul appears courtesy of Siubhan, and can
be read about at this site:
http://www.siubhan.com/sithacademy/. Thanks again, Siubhan.
A few more days riding the Wheel of If...
Obi-Wan Kenobi left the darkness of a fortress-like castle for
the eternal day of a mechanized Coruscant and an ever-busy
Temple. The sky traffic overhead was as he was used to, and the
Temple grounds were their usual well-trimmed selves, deserted
at this hour.
Standing, he walked over to the large fountain that had become
quite familiar to him, intending on sitting down to contemplate
his first move. A small snuffling noise from the low bush near
the fountain made him pause, however. His Force sight saw a
bright little star, and when he pushed the leaves away, his
eyes found a tiny girl, sound asleep, her thumb in her mouth,
her arms wrapped around a stuffed wookiee, her hair so red it
looked as if her head was on fire. A baby initiate, he
supposed, from her clothes. She could be no more than three
years old. And away from the creche to boot.
Gently, he reached out to wake her, thinking to carry her back
to the creche and the matrons who were no doubt frantic. She
yawned, knuckling her eyes, then focused on the man squatting
down beside her. "Oh-Oh!" she squealed, throwing herself into
his arms.
Surprised, Obi-Wan rocked back, landing on his butt with a
thump, the little girl still firmly wrapped around his neck,
hugging him for all she was worth, chanting "Oh-Oh!". Gently he
loosened her arms and pulled her away, looking down at her
sweet face with amused amazement.
"There, sweetheart, we need to get you back where you belong,"
he started to say, but her rapidly changing expression halted
him in mid-sentence.
Her eyes grew wide and round as she stared at him, and the
stuffed Wookiee was squeezed tighter. "Oh-Oh?" she asked
tentatively. "No. Not Oh-Oh," she continued, puzzled. Obi-Wan
felt a Force probe of unbelievable power wash over him and his
own eyes widened.
"It's all right, honey," he said, sitting down more properly
and rubbing her arms soothingly.
She cocked her head at him, still staring wide-eyed. "Not Oh-Oh
but Oh-Oh," she said, clearly working something out in her
head. "Oh-Oh is wif Ki and Ani," she added. "Onna missem. But
youse Oh-Oh." Wrapping her arms around his waist, she snuggled
back into his chest, sighing happily. Obi-Wan felt a distinct
tug at his heart. "Sha miss my Oh-Oh," she murmured.
Suddenly it dawned on him. Oh-Oh... Obi-Wan. And Ki... must be
Qui-Gon. Ani was rather self-evident. Could this little girl be
the daughter of this reality's Obi-Wan? What did she say?
Sha... maybe that's her name. Caressing the flaming hair, he
said, a bit tentatively, "Sha? Honey?"
"Uh-huh," she replied, already drifting.
"We need to get you into bed. C'mon little redhead." He stood,
lifting her with him. Stowing his backpack under the bush where
he had found her, he tucked his robe around her and moved
towards the Temple.
The creche was in the same place as always, and the Knight in
charge that evening had apparently just discovered one toddler
shy of a full creche. As Obi-Wan walked quickly down the
corridor, his little burden molded to his arms, the young woman
came charging down the corridor to meet them. "Knight Kenobi!"
she cried softly, relief evident in her voice. "I thought you
were off-planet. Thank the Force you found her. She must have
felt your presence and gone looking for you."
Hating to prevaricate but not wanting to get too deeply
involved, he merely grinned. But when he tried to turn the
little girl over to the Knight, she merely tightened her grip
and began to wail. "No! Want Oh-Oh!" she sobbed, clinging like
a leech. The Knight grimaced.
Smiling wryly, Obi-Wan said, "I don't suppose I could stay for
a while, get her settled..."
Shaking her head in defeat, the duty Knight said, "Your bed
awaits, sir. Sionnach apVess-Norill, this is going to have to
stop you know." Holding the door open for them, she continued
in a whisper. "I think your going on that mission the other day
upset her more than she let on. I take it Master Qui-Gon sent
you back?"
"Something like that," he murmured in reply, allowing the
Knight to lead him unobtrusively.
This part of the creche was for the very young, and each child
had a separate cubicle, easily accessible from the outside but
arranged so that if one had a problem he or she wouldn't wake
the others. Obi-Wan's charge, Sionnach, had her cubicle
decorated with pictures Obi-Wan found very heart-filling...
pictures of himself with Qui-Gon and Anakin, happily smiling,
some of them with a small red-headed bundle prominently
featured.
She had a regular bed with a detachable side guard, and Obi-Wan
laid her on it gently, disentangling her arms from his middle.
She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes, so he smiled,
doffed his robe and boots, and lay down with her. All smiles
suddenly, she nestled up against him happily while the Knight
watched, bemused, from the entrance to the cubby.
"I'll stay with her for a while," Obi-Wan said, grinning.
"We'll be all right."
"I know. Thanks for returning her," she answered, then
disappeared, leaving the room bathed in the dim glow from the
hallway.
Obi-Wan turned down to see intense eyes staring up at him. "How
come you Oh-Oh and not Oh-Oh?" she asked, sleepily puzzled.
"It's a long story, sweetheart," Obi-Wan answered her softly,
kissing her nose. For some reason, this little girl was already
precious to him.
"Tell stowwy?" she asked hopefully.
"Too long to tell tonight," he chuckled. To her pout, he said,
"Why don't you tell me a story instead?"
"K," she said happily, her mood and emotions as mercurial as
gnat on spice, leaving Obi-Wan amused beyond belief. "One onna
time, dere was a queen. She was beeee-you-tilla-fullest queen
in alla worlds," Sionnach began, her voice the sing-song of
someone who had intimate knowledge of her words. "And she live
on Naaa-boooo." Looking like she wanted to say something
further, the little girl managed to refrain.
"And some bad guys want to hurted her," she continued. "But
Yo'a--" here, inexplicably, Sionnach held up her stuffed
wookiee-- "Yo'a sended Ki and Oh-Oh to he'p her. And dey
founded Ani too." A huge yawn split her face suddenly; her eyes
closed briefly and Obi-Wan thought she had fallen asleep. But
after a moment, her sweet, sleepy voice continued.
"An' den, dey all went back to Naaaaa-boo-boo. An' Ki and Oh-Oh
dey fighted the Sif. He was all bad an' ugly an' had bad teef."
Looking seriously up into Obi-Wan's eyes, she added, "Sha have
bad teef too if I don't bwush 'em."
Nodding seriously, keeping his hilarity at bay with a massive
effort, Obi-Wan agreed. She continued. "An' da Sif, he hurted
Ki, an' it owie lots. But loooooong ways away, a baby-girl
sleeped on Corsant. It was me!" That last word was said almost
loudly, and Obi-Wan shushed her gently. Abashed, she went on
more quietly. Obi-Wan was becoming very intrigued by the story
and was glad when she continued. "And dat baby-girl was all
upsetted that da Sif hurted her Ki. So she made him aw better."
Another face-splitting yawn, that Obi-Wan couldn't help but
copy. Sleepily murmuring, she finished her story. "An den Ki
and Oh-Oh come back to Corsant an' Sha a biiiig heen. An' dey
lif wif Sha and Ani and ever-body happy." Smiling and very
nearly asleep, she finished, "Dee end."
Dead to the world. Obi-Wan nestled her into his chest and put
his head on her pillow, inhaling the clean fresh baby scent of
her as he thought. This child was incredibly Force adept and
apparently had enough of a Force bond with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan
that she was able to reach across the light-years to heal the
wounded man.
Marveling to himself, Obi-Wan set his time-sense to wake him
just before dawn and fell asleep, dreaming about red-headed
Jedi marching like the wrath of avenging angels across the
galaxy.
Being up and about at the crack of dawn had advantages, Obi-Wan
reflected. He was seated by the familiar fountain, his stomach
comfortably full after an early morning raid on the commissary.
He had only been sleepily greeted by a few people, and now
could contemplate his next move.
This Temple seemed different somehow. There was more litter,
for one thing, and even though the sun was, by now, well up in
the sky, there were few Padawans, initiates or Knights about.
Deciding at last to head to the grand concourse and check the
records, Obi-Wan stood and stretched, lifting his arms into the
warmth of the sun, which glinted on his hair.
"Obi? Hey, kilt-boy, where the hell did you go this morning?"
An only slightly familiar voice came from behind him and he
turned as the owner kept speaking. "This habit of yours of
leaving me in bed alone has got to stop, asshole."
Obi-Wan froze. Stalking towards him, wearing ripped denims and
a equally ripped black shirt that said "Sith Lords Kick Ass"
was a black-and-red tattooed, horned demon... Maul. And this
time he was apparently NOT selling encyclopedias. Before
Obi-Wan could do more than tense, the Sith was on him,
wrenching his head down for a hot -- a VERY hot -- kiss. With
significant tongue involvement. Surprisingly, considering how
his teeth looked, his breath wasn't bad at all.
Breaking the kiss, Maul gave Obi-Wan's head a slight shake.
"Look. I know... I know how I act sometimes, but really... just
don't do that, okay? Especially after a night like last night."
Looking at Obi-Wan curiously, he frowned. "Hey, wait a minute.
Where's your braid?"
"Uh..." Obi-Wan wasn't really sure what to say; his brain was
still a bit fried by what the Sith had done and was saying.
"Obi, your Master is gonna kill you if he sees you like that,"
Maul said, clearly pissed. "And I know you and he haven't been
on the best of terms since you broke up either. You do NOT want
to quit the Jedi, you idiot. You're a good fuck... but really,
Obi, you're just not cut out for pleasure boy material. Got
it?"
"Uh..." It was becoming a habit, and Obi-Wan's eyes were
glazing over.
Shaking his head, Maul stepped back and crossed his arms. "You
STILL high from last night? I knew that stuff you scored was
cut. Shit. Look... you stay right here, I'm gonna call Mary Sue
to come get you. All right?"
This sounded promising... if the Sith could leave him alone for
a few minutes, Obi-Wan could escape and... Mary Sue?
Maul was stalking away, and Obi-Wan found his eyes drawn to the
swaying ass that left him. "Stay right there, all right?" Maul
threw over his shoulder, then disappeared into the Temple.
"Yeah, right," Obi-Wan murmured, hurrying back to his sheltered
spot and dropping into lotus. "There's just no way..."
He thumbed the switch.
Lying on his back on a sunny spot of grass in the garden,
sipping from a bottle of root beer, Obi-Wan contemplated his
course of action. This Temple at first had seemed completely
ordinary, absolutely normal. But when he went to the concourse
to check out names, he found -- in order -- no Master Yoda, no
Qui-Gon Jinn, no Obi-Wan Kenobi. There was a Master Mirra Windu
listed, but experience had taught him to avoid the dark
councilor just on general principle. He never knew how the man
-- or in this case, woman -- would react.
It was approaching lunch time and he wondered if he should
simply move on or continue to stay for a while. Suddenly, an
all-too-familiar voice called out, "Master!"
His position was sheltered, boxed in by bushes, but the last
thing he wanted was to see Maul. Cautiously he sat up and
inched deeper into the shrubbery then peeked out carefully.
Maul was dressed as a Jedi, in cream tunics with a brown robe
slung over his shoulders. He was catching up to a taller figure
whose face Obi-Wan couldn't quite make out. Since they were
approaching him, now walking together and talking quietly, he
decided to wait and see.
As they approached, he could hear and see better. With a shock,
swiftly suppressed, he realized the taller Jedi was...
Palpatine!
"...Word from the Senate floor," Maul was saying quietly. They
reached a bench opposite where Obi-Wan hid and sat. "Do you
think the Council will give in to the Senate's demands?"
"It's difficult to say, my young apprentice," Palpatine said
thoughtfully. "This Trade Federation is made up of cowards.
There must be something else... perhaps someone else... behind
their actions."
"Chancellor Jinn and his followers..." The rest of what Maul
was saying was lost as Obi-Wan once again started.
Chancellor Jinn... but, what was happening?
"I do not trust Jinn, Padawan," Palpatine was saying by the
time Obi-Wan picked up the thread of the conversation again.
"He appears to be in the pocket of the Trade Federation."
"Isn't that jumping to conclusions, my Master?" Maul said with
a grin.
Affectionately, Palpatine cuffed him on the shoulder,
chuckling. "Impudent. Of course it is. But I also do not ignore
what the Force tells me. And the Force tells me there is
something happening that is not good at all."
Maul seemed troubled as well. "I have a bad feeling about the
Trade Federation and this taxation issue as well," he said
slowly. "Did you know there is talk that Jinn had Valorum
assassinated? That's how he got the position."
Frowning, Palpatine answered slowly. "Idle speculation,
Padawan. But... compelling. The situation will bear watching, I
think."
Once Obi-Wan got over his initial shock, his first thought was
to leave. But the Force was nudging him, even though he tried
his best to ignore it. He listened with half his mind as the
two men continued their discussion about the Trade Federation,
and then Palpatine mentioned something about Maul's training.
When Maul answered that he had been having problems with
astrometrics, Obi-Wan made his reluctant decision.
Somehow, he reasoned, Maul and Palpatine were the same as he
and Qui-Gon in this reality. Obi-Wan knew there was the
possibility of Qui-Gon being a Sith (and he didn't want to go
there again). The long and short of it was that they were Jedi,
and light. He was sworn to protect the light. He might not like
the package. as the two men finished their conversation and
stood to leave, he stood as well.
They turned in surprise as the unfamiliar Knight stepped out of
the bushes to greet them. Palpatine's eyes widened, and Obi-Wan
realized he recognized him. // So I DO exist here, // he
thought briefly. // But in what capacity? //
"I have a rather long story to tell you, gentlemen," he began,
smiling ruefully and holding his hands out in a gesture of
peace. "And it concludes with a warning you are definitely
going to want to hear."
It had been a long day and equally long night, topped by an
early morning. It was now late morning, approaching noon;
Obi-Wan was sipping tea in Yoda's chambers, chatting with
himself while Yoda and a dazed Anakin looked on. He had warned
them about Palpatine and the Sith, and he was still trying to
absorb what had happened in this particular reality.
Here, Qui-Gon had not been Obi-Wan's Master; Mace Windu had.
Windu had died on Naboo at the hands of the Sith, leaving
Obi-Wan to train Anakin. Everything had happened exactly as in
Obi-Wan's own reality, except there had been no Qui-Gon Jinn.
None of them even recognized the name, or Mar-Gon's name
either.
Obi-Wan was still mulling over this development when his
alternate, Knight Kenobi, offered to let him stay the night.
"I've got a suite, what with Anakin and Gee, so there's plenty
of room. I'd love to have you stay for dinner so we can hear
more of your travels. You can leave refreshed in the morning."
This sounded good to Obi-Wan, who readily agreed. Then he
frowned. "Gee?"
Knight Kenobi laughed. "Oh, that's... well. What would you call
Gee, Master? He was with Mace for years, looked after me as a
Padawan, now he's looking after Anakin." He colored slightly as
he added, quietly, "Of course, he does more than that..."
Yoda shook his head. "Lover, he was to Mace. Lover, he is to
you." To Obi-Wan, he added, "Brain damaged, he is, but Force
sensitive as well. Jedi he could not be. But better here than
slave. Kind to him, the Jedi are."
"Come along, it's time for lunch anyway, and I'll introduce
you. Oh dear, this is really going to confuse him. But we'll
manage." Laughing, Knight Kenobi rose, collected his Padawan
and led the way to his quarters.
It was a different apartment on the fourth level, which in a
way comforted Obi-Wan. The easiness and friendliness of his
alternate here also relaxed him, so he was completely
unprepared to be greeted at the door of the apartment by
Qui-Gon Jinn. He staggered back, not even seeing the confusion
on the big man's face as he looked between the two Obi-Wans.
"Obi-Wan, what's the matter?" the Knight asked, taking his arm
solicitously. "Gee, get him some water, please! Are you all
right?"
"Th--that's Qui-Gon. That's my Master. I thought you said..."
"Gee is your Master?!" Knight Kenobi barked with
laughter. "You're kidding!"
"That's Gee? But... I thought..."
The big man had returned, carefully carrying an over-filled
glass of water, and was standing, confused, looking between
them. "Master?" he said softly, his deep blue eyes perplexed.
Knight Kenobi looked up at him. "Oh, sorry, Gee. Here. I'll
take that. Obi-Wan, here. Gee, this is... well. What can we
call you so he won't be too confused?"
Studying the man who stood peacefully before him, Obi-Wan
realized the serenity came from virtual brainlessness. His
Force aura was strong, but there was no there there. It
was not Qui-Gon. It was a person that could have been
Qui-Gon... IF the circumstances of his birth -- or whatever had
happened to him -- had been different.
Shaking his head, Obi-Wan turned to his counterpart. "Oh. Um...
Ben. Have him call me Ben."
"But you're Master," Gee said with placid confusion. "You both
are."
Anakin, who had been silent for most of the morning, finally
spoke up at this point, snorting with disgust. "Well,
OBviously, Gee," he said, shaking his head. "Don't worry about
it. I don't understand it either. C'mon. We need to get lunch
on."
Laughing at his Padawan, Knight Kenobi clapped Obi-Wan on the
back. "There you go. Anakin will have it all straightened out.
But tell me... Gee is your Master? That... that's bizarre!"
Over the course of the afternoon, Obi-Wan related some of his
travels to his doppelganger, staring at Gee whenever the big
man was in the room. Knight Kenobi noticed this but didn't say
anything, just listened and wondered.
It was a busy afternoon. Obi-Wan met briefly with certain
Council members, helped Anakin at 'saber practice, sparred with
his alter-ego and shared meditation. Coming up out of
meditation, in the late afternoon just before dinner, he found
Knight Kenobi's eyes on him speculatively.
"I'm going to risk something here, Obi," the other man said
slowly, thoughtfully. "Please tell me if I'm out of line. From
what you've told me... you and your Master -- Gee, I guess,
though I can hardly credit it -- were lovers. Yes?"
The older man was out with Anakin, getting dinner at the
commissary, so Obi-Wan answered freely, if a little hesitantly.
He had a feeling he knew where this was headed. "Well, no, but
I wanted us to be. And since I've started traveling, yes."
"You've also alluded to some horrible abuse you've weathered at
his hands. I-- I can feel the scars in you still, you know."
His eyes were sympathetic. "I guess that's because we're really
the same person."
"Yes..." Obi-Wan looked down at his hands. "There's always a
bond with the other 'mes' I visit. And right again... In one
reality... He was a Sith. I was captured. It was... it wasn't
pleasant."
Knight Kenobi winced. "I -- gods. I can't even imagine. When
Mace died... We had a strong bond but... well. I loved him
dearly, but he could be a harsh man." At Obi-Wan's nod, he
continued. "I miss him. But I didn't have any kind of romantic
feelings for him. I don't know how Gee felt about him... they
were lovers, sort of, and when I returned from Naboo Gee just
crawled into bed with me." Chuckling, Kenobi continued. "I
remember... Gee found me masturbating once, when I was oh,
fifteen?" He blushed. "I was so embarrassed. But he showed
me..." Eyes crinkling in a grin, cheeks still red, he finished,
"let's just say he's meant a lot to me, and I would never have
thought to throw him from my bed. But I don't love him."
Obi-Wan grinned in response to his twin's grin, then sobered a
bit. "I understand. He's... he's not Qui-Gon. He's got the
body, the voice... but not the mind. What happened to him?"
"We're not sure," Kenobi said. "He was a foundling. Early
testing showed him deficient in the forebrain... it could have
been a birth defect or it could have been something that
happened after his birth. But Force sensitivity resides in the
hypothalamus, so the Jedi took him in." After a short silence,
he continued. "He's a good man. Strong, willing to do what he
can. And he's marvelous with children. He's helped a lot of us
over the years."
"Sounds like my Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said wistfully. "It was a
shock seeing him. It's... it's hard to look at him again, after
what... happened."
"Gods. I can just imagine." Kenobi sighed and looked down at
his hands. A soft chime from the dataset announced the hour and
he looked back up. "Oh damn. I didn't realize... I've got a
date... sort of." Grinning, he stood and helped Obi-Wan to his
feet. "I've been seeing Knight A'Dell... she and I are, well,
we're kind of getting serious. And I'm supposed to meet her for
dinner. I can't..."
"It's all right," Obi-Wan interjected, inwardly wondering what
would happen to Gee if his counterpart bonded with A'Dell. "Go
ahead. I'm just going to make it an early night, then leave
early. I've accomplished what I need to here."
"Thanks." He was sincerely thankful too, Obi-Wan realized, and
smiled. "There's plenty of food in the kitchenette, have my
lazy Padawan fix you something. Or Gee. I've got to run. I'll
see you in the morning."
It was much later that evening when Gee finally returned...
without Anakin. Obi-Wan had been sitting on the sofa, reading a
favorite book with a bottle of root beer close at hand when the
door opened to admit the big man. Unable to suppress his
flinch, Obi-Wan was glad that Gee didn't understand it.
For a moment, they simply stared at each other, while Obi-Wan
got his stomach flutters under control. "Wh-where's Anakin?" he
finally asked, hoarsely.
"Padawan Ani is with friends," Gee said slowly, the way he
always spoke. His voice had an odd timbre to it, and Obi-Wan
realized it was due to the almost complete lack of inflection.
This Qui-Gon probably could not get angry, or overjoyed, or
sarcastic, Obi-Wan realized. Puzzled, probably... the man
probably spent half his life puzzled. Obi-Wan felt a wash of
sympathy.
"Would you like to eat?" Gee asked him, again slowly, standing
preternaturally still. "Master Obi said you might be hungry."
"I've eaten," Obi-Wan responded, wondering when his counterpart
had time to tell the big man that piece of information. "Thank
you."
Nodding shortly, Gee didn't move otherwise. "I can show you
your bed. You can sleep in my bed. I would like that."
"I -- I wouldn't want to put you out of your bed, Qui-- I mean,
Gee," Obi-Wan stumbled.
"No, you won't," Gee said assuredly. "It's here." Finally, he
moved, turning towards one of the suite's three bedchambers.
Reluctantly rising from his spot on the sofa, Obi-Wan followed
him.
Gee's room was small and nearly barren, the large bed
dominating it. There were a few pictures on the shelves, and
some strange items -- probably mementos -- scattered about. It
was painfully neat. Gee stood beside the bed, looking at a
picture, which Obi-Wan could see was him with Mace Windu.
Swallowing, he moved until he was closer to the big man, his
heart still thumping painfully. "You... you must miss him,"
Obi-Wan said softly.
"Uh-huh," Gee replied. "Master Mace was always good to me.
Master Obi is too. But Master Mace..." He turned and looked at
Obi-Wan. "If you take your clothes off, I'll suck you," he said
suddenly.
Obi-Wan stumbled back, his legs hitting the side of the bed.
"Wh--what?"
"I like doing that to Master Obi. But Master Obi has Master
A'dell now," he added sadly. "I don't do it much any more. Or
the other at all, since Master Mace..." Gee looked at him
earnestly. "But you're Master Obi. I could do it for you."
"Why... why would you want to, Gee?" Obi-Wan asked, struggling
to keep his voice calm. His brain was in turmoil at the sudden
offer, at seeing Qui-Gon reduced to this, at the memories of
Qui-Gon tormenting him...
But this wasn't Qui-Gon. It was Gee, and when Obi-Wan looked
into his eyes, all he saw was empty blue trust. Not golden
malevolence.
"I want to... because." It was obviously a struggle for the man
to form the thoughts and the words, but he did his best. "It
makes me... happy. To make you happy. It feels good. In here."
He indicated his chest and Obi-Wan felt a lump form in his
throat. "When you were younger--" he was obviously referring to
the other Obi-Wan, but the young Knight didn't correct him--
"you liked me to do it to you. I know that now you have Master
A'Dell. That's all right too. But I could do it now, if you
want." Ducking his head, he added softly, "I understand if you
don't."
Obi-Wan's legs suddenly gave out and he landed with a thump on
the bed. He was dazed, and completely unsure of what he should
do. It was obvious to him that Gee was quite used to rejection
in his life and he felt sorry for the man. But did that give
him the right to let Gee pleasure him? And besides, he looked
like Qui-Gon. and his recent sexual experiences with Qui-Gon
had NOT been happy.
"Gee, I." Obi-Wan had meant to say no, had meant to tell the
man gently that he wasn't interested. he wasn't Gee's 'Master
Obi'. But when he looked up into Gee's face, the man's
expression was exactly that of a whipped dog, and
Obi-Wan felt a burst of sympathy. Telling this gentle giant no
just might be beyond the strength that Obi-Wan had.
"I -- I don't know, Gee. But. if you want company in your bed,
I-- I'll sleep with you," Obi-Wan heard himself say. Gee perked
up a bit, then ducked his head again.
"I'd like that," he whispered in reply. "It's. it's been a long
time since somebody wanted to do that with me."
In the 'fresher, preparing for bed, Obi-Wan mentally kicked
himself over and over. //WHAT are you thinking? // he thought,
glaring at the hands that would insist on trembling no matter
how he fought it. // This is NOT Qui-Gon, // he argued with
himself. file://It's a man, a very sad, hurt man named Gee. He
needs me. // That brought him up short. Gee. needed him. And
maybe. just maybe, Obi-Wan needed him. Needed someone
non-threatening, who looked like Qui-Gon.who, in a sense, was
Qui-Gon but not capable of the brutality of the monster.
Gee was already in bed when Obi came out of the 'fresher, clean
and dry and wearing a loose pair of sleep pants. The big man
lay in his bed with his covers carefully pulled up to his
chest, his hands crossed, staring at the ceiling. A little
smile played about Gee's mouth as Obi-Wan climbed in next to
him, and Obi-Wan thankfully noted Gee wore sleep pants as well.
When Obi-Wan reached to touch the lamp off, Gee spoke quietly.
"I don't like the dark. It scares me."
Freezing in the act, Obi-Wan said quietly, "I'll just turn the
level down, then."
"Oh, that's all right. If you're going to be here I won't be
scared."
Swallowing his emotions, Obi-Wan turned the light level down,
but left enough to see by, then lay back on the pillows. They
lay quietly for a little while, and Obi-Wan slowly began to
relax.
"Why didn't you want me to suck you?" Gee asked suddenly.
Obi-Wan started.
"Um. oh. Well, there are lots of reasons," he hedged, turning
his head. In the dim light, he could see the faintest of
glitters as Gee's eyes looked at him. "You. you know, I'm not
your Master Obi, don't you?"
"Uh-huh," Gee replied. He shifted in the bed to one side and
propped his head on his hand. Obi-Wan unconsciously tensed,
then tried to force his muscles to relax. "Master Obi said
you've been hurt by somebody who looks like me."
"Th-that's true," Obi-Wan stammered, mentally cursing the other
Knight for his interference.
"I wouldn't hurt you," Gee said, one hand coming up to
stroke Obi-Wan's cheek. Despite his control, he flinched at the
touch, and then cursed himself when he saw the hurt look on
Gee's face.
"I'm sorry, Gee," he said, his eyes closing. "I'm sorry. I'm
not afraid of you. it's the memories."
Gee appeared to think about that. "Memories can't hurt you for
real," he finally said. "But they can hurt you in here," and
again he touched his chest. "Is that what's happening to you?"
"Yes," Obi-Wan whispered. He kept his eyes fastened on the
sympathetic blue eyes looking at him. "Yes, that's what's
happening. I-- I don't think I could even. I've not had
feelings like that. not since.. since what happened."
Frowning, Gee puzzled over his words. "Oh. You mean, like it
wouldn't even work if I sucked you." Obi-Wan nodded shortly,
his fingernails biting into the palms of his hands. "I know. I
can't do that either."
Blinking, Obi-Wan said, "What do you mean?"
"Master Mace said it was how my head worked. It feels nice, and
it gets hard, but I can't do stuff. Unless Master Mace put his
fingers up inside me. Then it would feel nicer. But Master Obi
doesn't like to do that." The big man shrugged. "It's all
right. It's not important anyway."
Obi-Wan almost laughed in hysterical relief. 'Not important
anyway!' No, he supposed it wasn't. Especially not now. not
when every time he saw the man he loved he felt only fear and
revulsion. "I'm sorry, Gee," he said softly, not sure who he
felt sorrier for. himself, Gee, the man he had once been or the
Qui-Gon who waited for him, somewhere out there.
"It's all right," Gee replied, with perfect equanimity,
completely content. "You should go to sleep now."
Those words, spoken in that soft voice, finally, completely
relaxed Obi-Wan. Smiling a little, he hesitantly reached out
and patted Gee's hand. "Thank you. Sleep well."
"I will. And if you have nightmares, I'll chase them off. It's
what I used to do for you when you were little." Reaching out
firmly, Gee gathered Obi-Wan to his chest, snuggling the
smaller man's back to his chest, tightly. Either he didn't
notice or didn't care that Obi-Wan's reaction was to tense up
and tremble.
The warmth of the embrace, the steady thudding of the heart
behind his head built such conflicting emotions in Obi-Wan's
brain that he felt as though he would explode. On the one hand,
the aura he was enveloped in made him feel more at home, more
at peace, than he had felt in months and months. But this was
the same aura that brutalized him, that raped and beat and cut
and. and .
Once again the golden-eyed monster reared up and sought
dominion over his soul. But this time. this time, warm, strong
arms and hands, hands bigger than Obi-Wan's hands, pushed it
away. Firmly. Shoved it down and threw it aside.
Safe at last in the harbor of those arms and hands, Obi-Wan
slept.
He couldn't leave in the morning after all. He was woken gently
by Gee early the next day after a deliciously forgetful sleep,
to be told that the other Obi-Wan needed him to come before the
Council. After a wistful smile, Gee left him alone to dress.
To his shock and amazement, Obi-Wan found he had a morning
erection. He nearly wept for joy at this simple biological
reaction, and found himself laughingly sorry over the fact that
he hadn't enough time to masturbate.
The Council had some puzzling reports of sudden, suspicious
deaths within the Senate. all of which pointed to the traveling
Palpatine's involvement. Obi-Wan spent most of the day with
them, going over reports and giving advice, until he was quite
sick of it. He could tell what they were planning. and decided
to simply leave the reality now. "They're going to try and get
me to stay," he told Knight Kenobi, as his alter-ego walked him
to the garden in the late afternoon dusk. They were accompanied
by Gee. "And as much as I'd like to, I can't. The Force is
directing me."
"I understand," Kenobi said, a wry grin on his face. "In a way.
I wish I could be going with you. They're going to make my life
a living hell, aren't they?"
Laughing, Obi-Wan agreed. "Just watch out for Palpatine. I'm
going to hunt that bastard down and see to it he joins the
Force. one way or another. But it'll take me a while."
"Happy hunting then, brother," Kenobi said, his eyes sparking
with humor and agreement. "Give him one for me when you find
him."
"I will." Turning to Gee, Obi-Wan suddenly found himself
without words. "Take. take care of Anakin, Gee," he finally
said, taking a big hand in his.
"I will," Gee said with his familiar slow voice, then he pulled
Obi-Wan in for a hug. "Be careful. I'll think about you."
"And I, you," Obi-Wan murmured. Dropping into lotus, he pulled
the 'saber and thumbed the switch.
Archive 