Archive: By Master & Apprentice, my site, WWOMB and
SithChicks
Pairing: O/Other, Q/Other, O/Q
Category: Alternate Universe
Rating: NC-17 for the series; this episode rated R and ES for
extreme silliness
Disclaimer: George, you want me, come get me. I'm probably a
better writer than you anyway (not that that's saying much luv,
sorry...).
Warning: Spew. I mean that. Oh, and het content as well.
Summary: Follows canon. Qui is dead, and in building a new
lightsaber Obi accidentally finds a way to move to different
realities, where he discovers many strange and wondrous things
in his quest to be with his beloved Master again.
Notes: I'm paying homage to the great SF author, L. Sprague
DeCamp with this story. Back in the 30's-40's he wrote the
definitive AU novel called "The Wheels of If", which conceit
I'm borrowing here. Thanks (as always) to Beta Readers Par
Excellence Fox, HiperBunny and Emrin Alexander. Thank you,
ladies, my cup runneth over with your support. For those of you
who do not know, The Sith Academy can be found at this website:
http://www.siubhan.com/sithacademy/ , thank you Siubhan for
allowing me to play in your sandbox. My thanks are overflowing,
as well, to Angela and Kate, from the Order of Glitter, for
their help and support, and especially to Kate, who described
Yoda so well.
Obi-Wan Kenobi walked slowly, at the same pace as Master Yoda
did beside him. "I've been to only one other reality where my
Qui-Gon was female," he was saying as they strolled down the
nearly deserted corridor. It was mid-afternoon; Obi-Wan had not
had a lot of sleep in the reality before this one and was still
a bit tired. Forcing two people who loved each other
desperately to acknowledge that love was tiring.
Although the Force was not jangling along his nerves like it
had been in realities where much was wrong, he knew there was
something here he needed to do. Yoda had insisted on their
meeting Mar-Gon Jinn for dinner, and Obi-Wan had agreed, hoping
to discover why the Force had sent him to this place.
"A good Padawan was Mar-Gon," Yoda was saying thoughtfully.
"Great Jedi is she. Requested she is frequently by the Supreme
Chancellor." Obi-Wan frowned, an idea nudging the back of his
brain.
"Master, do you have a Trade Federation here?" he asked.
Yoda sighed. 'Trade Federation," he grumbled. "Thorn in side of
Senate they are. And so as well thorn in our side. Involved in
trade route dispute is Mar-Gon at present. Why ask you?"
"Ah," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully. Although the time - the date
and year - were the same as when he left, apparently there
might be some leeway on exactly WHEN the events on Naboo could
occur. "I'll have to talk to Mar-Gon about it then, I think."
They reached the door and at Obi-Wan's ring, Master Jinn opened
it. Obi-Wan marveled anew how much alike - and yet unlike -
this female version of his Master was to his Qui-Gon. The aura
of calm control and certainty was unlike any other.
Obi-Wan let Yoda do most of the explaining this time, choosing
to simply bask in the aura of Mar-Gon Jinn and enjoy his tea.
Her incredulity was astonishing, she kept throwing him looks
and blinking. "Yoda," she finally said, "This is absolutely
flabbergasting. This young... man... is Padawan.. I mean,
Knight Kenobi? But... but..."
Before anyone else could speak, the door opened and a young
woman with a Padawan's braid stepped into the room. Her
red-gold hair was a bit shaggy and in need of a cut, and her
gray-green eyes widened to see the company her Master kept. Her
arms were full of datapads. "I'm sorry, Master," she said, her
voice a lovely, cultured soprano. "I didn't realize we were
entertaining..."
"That's perfectly all right, Sil-Wan," Mar-Gon said, blinking
at her Padawan as if she had never seen the girl before. "Drop
those pads and join us please. I have someone here for you to
meet."
Obi-Wan couldn't take his eyes off the girl. When Yoda had
informed him that Mar-Gon Jinn's Padawan Learner was a female,
he nearly fled the reality then and there. But to meet her... a
female version of himself... Slowly, he stood, and the two
stared at each other, one set of eyes puzzled and the other
nonplused.
Yoda had been looking between the two of them, and suddenly he
laughed. "Like twins they are! See it do you, my Padawan?"
Mar-Gon's mouth was open as her eyes went between the two Jedi.
"I would not have believed it if I hadn't seen it, Master," she
finally managed to croak out. "It's... it's incredible."
Sil-Wan Kenobi looked at the handsome young man who stood
opposite her. He was dressed as a Jedi Knight, though he seemed
no older than she. There was something so familiar about him,
but she couldn't put her finger on it. "Do... do I know you?"
she asked slowly.
He grinned, and it was a smile she had seen hundreds of
times... in the mirror, in holos... and she gasped. "Obi-Wan
Kenobi," he said, sticking his hand out to her. "And by the
Force have I got a story to tell you."
Dinner was a lively affair, once everyone got over their shock.
Obi-Wan and Sil-Wan found themselves staring at each other
frequently, to the delight of their elders, cataloging
differences and similarities. Obi-Wan helped the Padawan clean
up after dinner, and their conversation over soap bubbles was
wide-ranging and filled with laughter. Although Obi-Wan had
been half-expecting to meet a female version of himself for
some time, he was still a bit overcome by the reality. He had
to admit, finally, that he made an absolutely exquisite female,
though, not knowing that Sil-Wan had come to virtually the same
conclusion about him.
After dinner and clean-up they talked. Obi-Wan quickly
ascertained that Mar-Gon was about to be sent to Naboo, within
at least the next few days, and he spent quite a lot of time
telling them about his problems on that world. Yoda frowned
disbelievingly at his mention of the Sith, until Obi-Wan told
them all of the many realities he had visited where the Sith
were virtually in control. Sil-Wan was intent on the horned
warrior who had killed Obi-Wan's Master.
"He fought with a double bladed 'saber?" she asked. "Can you
describe it? Was it like a staff?"
"Yes," he told her. "A long, red staff. Qui-Gon and I fought it
together, two on one, and it still managed to hold its own.
Mar-Gon," he said, turning to the Master, "while I'm here, I
could demonstrate the move that... that..."
"That killed your Master?" Mar-Gon said gently, smiling kindly.
"That would be a help, Obi-Wan, thank you." She took a sip of
her tea to allow the young man to regain his control. "How long
can you stay, Obi-Wan?"
"As long as you want me to, I suppose," he answered, shrugging.
"This reality is not to be my home. But that doesn't mean I
won't work to see Palpatine overthrown."
Yoda was shaking his head. His ears drooped almost to his
collar in despair. "Senator Palpatine," he muttered. "Believe
it I cannot. Senator Palpatine..." Mar-Gon reached across the
cocktail table and touched her Master's knee. "There's no
guarantee, my Master," she murmured, looking at Obi-Wan for
confirmation. "It's probable but not an absolute. We shall be
patient, and determine what to do."
"And with my 'twin brother's' help," Sil-Wan said firmly, "I'll
make sure nothing happens to you, my Master."
Mar-Gon smiled and squeezed her Padawan's shoulders. "It's
getting a bit late, I think. Obi-Wan, you're welcome to stay
here tonight."
"Oh, I wouldn't want to put you out," he said, smiling.
"It's no bother," Sil-Wan said. "You can have my bed. I don't
usually sleep there any... I mean..." she looked at her Master
and blushed. Mar-Gon just laughed.
"What she means is we have an extra bed. You are welcome to it,
Obi-Wan. Master, will you be all right?" she asked Yoda, who
was looking very grim.
"All right I will be," he confirmed, hopping down from his
chair. "Sleep here you will, Kenobi? Good. Then away I will be.
For dinner I thank you, Padawan. Sleep well."
Mar-Gon saw her Master out, then returned to sit next to her
Padawan, draping her arm around the girl's shoulders again.
"You are tense, my Padawan," she said quietly, touching her
head to Sil-Wan's.
"I-I must confess, Master," Sil-Wan said, her eyes never
leaving Obi-Wan's, "What Obi-Wan has said has frightened me.
You must promise me..."
Sighing, Mar-Gon gave her an extra squeeze. "Forewarned is
forearmed, love," she murmured. "With Obi-Wan's help, we'll
manage. Right Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan blinked. His brain had gone into overload - again -
when he figured out that the Master and Padawan were lovers.
Despite the control he had gained and growth he had undergone,
he still felt a slight surge of anger and despair knowing he
should have had what they had. He took a deep, shaky breath,
re-centering himself, and found Mar-Gon's eyes on him
sympathetically.
"You haven't told us why you continue to travel or what you're
looking for, Obi-Wan," she said softly. "But I think I can make
a guess. You're looking for your Master, aren't you?"
"Yes," he said simply. "I want... I want what you have. What I
- what we - did not. The Force has all but promised me... I
will have it. Someday. But I can't help but feel..."
Eyes narrowing, Sil-Wan said, "You and your Master weren't
lovers? Why?"
Shrugging, Obi-Wan said, "I was going to approach him. On my
Knighting day. But when that day finally came, he was dead."
They sat together in silence for a while then, until Mar-Gon
slapped her thigh and rose. "Early start tomorrow, my children.
Sila, why don't you get Obi-Wan settled. I've got a few reports
to skim and I see my message light blinking."
As it turned out, one of the messages for Mar-Gon was from
Chancellor Valorum. They were to leave the day after next for
Naboo, which added some urgency to the situation. Obi-Wan spent
all the next day in a gym with the two of them, all three
beating each other black-and-blue with a staff and practice
'sabers. During their infrequent breaks, Obi-Wan spoke of the
other aspects of the mission; the droid armies, the Gungans,
and Anakin. Mar-Gon grew very quiet when he told her how
Qui-Gon had all but shoved him aside for Anakin, and Sil-Wan
kept throwing her little glances.
Shortly after that, Obi-Wan moved to get a clean towel and a
new bottle of water. When he turned back, he found the two of
them locked in a passionate embrace, kissing languorously. He
couldn't turn away for a moment, basking in the love and
happiness rolling off the two women in waves, letting it
overcome what small jealousies he had over their having what he
had not.
By the time they broke for air, he was doing slow katas in the
salle, stretching overworked and stiff muscles gently. The two
women watched him for a moment, then turned back to each other
speculatively.
"The key is not to get separated," Obi-Wan reminded them after
dinner that night. The three of them had taken turns massaging
each other's shoulders out, but they were bone-tired. "If you
allow that thing to separate you, one of you will die. That's
been the pattern so far, anyway. DON'T separate."
"We won't, Obi-Wan," Sil-Wan said, grinning. "I've promised you
that on my 'saber, my first born and Yoda's big toe, what else
do you need?"
He laughed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I-I just don't want
to happen to you..."
"...what happened to you, I know," Sil-Wan finished for him.
She looked lovingly at her Master as the woman puttered about
the kitchenette. "It won't," she whispered fiercely. "I'll die
first."
"NO, Sil-Wan, no," Obi-Wan said firmly. "Don't even think like
that. I did... and that kind of-of despair and futility is
wrong." He pulled the girl in for a hug abruptly. "It won't
happen here. You love each other...and sometimes, I think the
reason it happened to me is that we did not share that love.
Not openly." She pulled back and looked at him curiously,
inviting without words for him to continue. "We went into the
fight angry. At each other, at ourselves... just, angry. It was
not conducive to proper teamwork, I would think. You... you
won't have that anger. As long as you stay together, as long as
you continue to love each other, you'll be fine."
Mar-Gon emerged from the kitchenette, a cup of tea in her
hands. "Yes, we will," she said, obviously having overheard at
least part of the conversation. Setting the tea down on the
table, she put her arms around both young people. "Obi, Sila
and I can't thank you enough. You've probably saved our lives."
Flushing, Obi-Wan grinned and ducked his head. "As long as what
happened to us doesn't happen to you..." he said, "I'm happy.
You're leaving first thing in the morning?"
"Yes," Mar-Gon said, retrieving her tea and sitting down on the
sofa. "The Chancellor has provided us with a shuttle and it
leaves at first hour."
"Just like ours," Obi-Wan muttered. "The parallels here are
frightening. Promise me..."
"Obi-Wan!" Sil-Wan's voice was exasperated. "You've told us
everything. We're as prepared as we can possibly be. We'll be
fine. I'm sure of it."
"All right, all right," he held up his hands in a gesture of
surrender. "I'll trust in the Force. And I'm going to bed. I'll
leave after you do, I guess."
"I'm going to catch a shower then go to bed myself," Sil-Wan
said, smiling shyly at her Master. She walked over to Obi-Wan
and grabbed his ears, pulling his face down the few inches to
her lips, kissing him hard. "Thank you, my brother," she
whispered. "We'll be fine. You be fine too... Find your
Master."
"Thank you, my sister," he answered, touching his forehead to
hers. He was reluctant to admit - even to himself - how much
her kiss had aroused him, so he said nothing more. She left the
room towards the 'fresher in her Master's room.
Mar-Gon stood at that moment, coming to him as well. "Thank
you, Obi-Wan," she said seriously, kissing his forehead gently
in benediction. "Sleep well." That was all she said before
moving to her bedroom.
That night, Obi-Wan lay on the familiar yet strange bed in the
familiar yet strange apartment, and wondered if he had done all
he could. Over and over again he replayed the events on Naboo,
desperate to ensure that he had told Mar-Gon and Sil-Wan about
them.
As he tossed and turned, brain too rattled for sleep, the door
to his room quietly opened. It was Sil-Wan, ghosting across the
floor to kneel at his bedside. She was naked and quite took his
breath away.
"Obi-Wan," she whispered, leaning up to kiss him gently.
"Master and I would consider it an honor if you would share our
bed with us tonight. Please?"
"I-I..." he could not think what to say or what to do. His
confusion must have been clear to her, for she chuckled softly
and kissed him again.
"Master says to tell you; feel, don't think. She's always
saying that. Will you?"
Nodding mutely, he followed her out the door and across the
apartment.
The next morning, Yoda and Obi-Wan saw them to the landing pad.
Yoda said nothing to the rather passionate kisses the three of
them exchanged before Mar-Gon and Sil-Wan boarded the shuttle,
but his eyes missed nothing and his ears were perked straight
up.
"Helped, you have," Yoda said approvingly as they moved to the
garden after seeing the shuttle off. "Averted much tragedy as
well, you have. Thank you, we all do."
Composing himself in his usual sheltered corner, Obi-Wan pulled
out his 'saber and looked at it, then up at the little green
Master. "I hope so, Master, I hope so. I-I couldn't bear it
if..."
"Happen it will not," Yoda insisted. "Worrying about it futile
is. Go now, you must, to next place where needed you are."
Reaching one hoary old claw out, Yoda rested it gently on
Obi-Wan's head, blessing him. "Changed this old mind you have.
Not easily done is this. May the Force be with you."
Smiling, Obi-Wan watched Yoda step away from him, claws crossed
on his gimmer stick. Nodding once, Obi-Wan pressed the power.
The bang of displaced air was once again lost in a sea of
noise; raucous, hammering music with a heavy bass line and
inarticulate lyrics. Several people, most with Padawan braids,
wandered about the garden, some dancing, some kissing and
groping, some apparently meditating. All of them wore colorful
tunics... well, colorful wasn't exactly the right word, Obi-Wan
reflected. Gaudy might have covered it better. Some of it was
downright shocking. And everyone wore makeup... thick, bright,
glittery makeup.
Blinking, Obi-Wan climbed to his feet and slowly made his way
inside. // Not that the music is bad, // he thought to
himself, fingers unconsciously twitching in time. // But in the
Temple? And those tunics! // He nearly ran into one Padawan who
wore a bright purple spandex shirt over a tiny yellow skirt,
black fishnet stockings tucked into tall, black boots. A
strange, sparkly purple top hat was on her head. She grinned at
him and swept by, leaving him staring in her wake.
Seeking out and meeting with Yoda took only a few moments. Over
the ubiquitous tea, he explained who he was and Yoda explained
what was going on.
"Order of Glitter, it is," the little green gnome explained
happily. "Too bland and boring are old clothes. Variety, the
order needs. Looks good in gold lame does Mace Windu."
There was really nothing to say to that remark, so Obi-Wan just
blinked. After a moment, he asked, "So, do Qui-Gon and this
reality's Obi-Wan follow the new order?"
"Bah," Yoda said, hopping down from his low chair and walking
into his bedroom. His voice floated out, muffled, as though he
were changing. "My Padawan does, always a wise one he has been.
Dropped trou he did at the Padawan Ball last week. Qui-Gon is
much sought after by all in Temple. Hung like bantha is my
Padawan," he finished proudly.
The rustling noises continued, as did Master Yoda. "Obi-Wan
follows it not, and many arguments they have had. Needs to
listen to his Master does young Obi-Wan. Look good in green eye
shadow he would."
After a few moments, Yoda returned from his bedroom and Obi-Wan
gaped in shock. Yoda had caked on hot pink eye shadow and
lipstick, and was in the process of pasting on fake, hot-pink
nails over his claws. He had a pink feather boa slung around
his neck, which trailed on the ground behind him, and somehow
had found fishnet stockings to fit his tiny legs, which were a
tad longer now that he had four inch spike heels on his feet.
He was struggling to get into a floor-length vinyl trenchcoat
over his pink bodysuit. "Help me, you will," he demanded, and a
numb Obi-Wan hurried to obey.
"There. Look hot do I?"
At a loss for words, Obi-Wan struggled to speak, finally just
gave up and nodded. "Good. Fashion show there is tonight, and
Council Meeting in five minutes. Stay, do you intend?"
"Actually," Obi-Wan said slowly, "I don't think there's
anything here for me to do. I wouldn't want to interfere
between what's happening between your Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, so
I'll just be moving on."
"Yourself you should suit," Yoda replied, shrugging as he
admired himself in a mirror. "Dye my hair, I think I should,"
he mused. Obi-Wan fled.
The garden was still loud, and there were still glitter
Padawans all over it as Obi-Wan took his seat again. Shaking
his head gently, unconsciously in time to the music, he pressed
the power on his 'saber.
// One more cup of tea and I might explode, // Obi-Wan thought
to himself, as he sat in Master Yoda's humid quarters, enjoying
- of course - tea, this time with cookies. As usual, Yoda was
able to parse his story quickly and completely so that he could
ask about Qui-Gon, who in this reality was still Master to
Obi-Wan.
"Not together they are," Yoda said, frowning. "Broke up, they
did. Last week it was."
"Not together?" Obi-Wan repeated stupidly. "Then they WERE
together at some point...?"
"Yes. Fight they had. Obi-Wan another is seeing, a neighbor it
is, some little Sith chippie."
"A SITH? In the Temple?!"
Yoda stared at him. "Calm down you should. Have Prozac if need
it you do. Not in Temple lives Obi-Wan. All Padawans outside
they live. Obi-Wan at Coruscant Arms lives." He cocked his head
at the young Knight. "Why upset are you that screwing a Sith
Obi-Wan is?"
"The Sith... the Jedi... I don't..." Obi-Wan was at a loss.
Pulling on his ear in confusion, he launched into the story of
Qui-Gon's death and the many worlds he had seen where the Sith
had defeated the Jedi. "Senator Palpatine..." he finished, but
Yoda was nodding.
"Yes, Senator Palpatine is Sith. Headmaster, he is, of Sith
Academy. Good, it is, to keep enemies where they can be seen."
Rubbing his temples, Obi-Wan winced. "I have a headache."
Nodding wisely, Yoda said, "Drugs I have for that. Better stash
than Qui-Gon. Old I may be, but know I do when cut weed is." As
Yoda puttered back to his bedroom, he said, "Wear more plaid
you should. Hot Kenobi looks in a kilt."
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