Archive: By Master & Apprentice, my site, WWOMB and
SithChicks
Pairing: O/Other, Q/Other, O/Q
Category: Alternate Universe
Rating: NC-17 for the series; this episode PG
Disclaimer: George, you want me, come get me. I'm probably a
better writer than you anyway (not that that's saying much luv,
sorry...).
Warning: None for this episode.
Summary: Follows canon. Qui is dead, and in building a new
lightsaber Obi accidentally finds a way to move to different
realities, where he discovers many strange and wondrous things
in his quest to be with his beloved Master again.
Notes: I'm paying homage to the great SF author, L. Sprague
DeCamp with this story. Back in the 30's-40's he wrote the
definitive AU novel called "The Wheels of If", which conceit
I'm borrowing here. Thanks (as always) to Beta Readers Par
Excellence Fox, HiperBunny and Emrin Alexander. Thank you,
ladies, my cup runneth over with your support.
Obi-Wan Kenobi sat at a workbench in a heavily shielded
workroom, deep in the Jedi Temple at Coruscant. He had
miniature tools and the components of a lightsaber spread out
before him and he was painstakingly assembling them, setting
calibration points, tightening brackets, readying the cradles
that would hold the two deranium sapphires that presently sat
in a padded box near his elbow. His hands were steady, his
fingers deft. There was no outward hint of the intense, roiling
anguish that tore through his brain.
// You weren't supposed to die, Qui-Gon, // he thought for at
least the six billionth time in nearly a month. // You weren't
supposed to leave me. I never even got to tell you how much I
love you. // Over and over, repeating the litany of despair
which had become his home, his life, his entire being since his
Master had died on Naboo. // Why? Why wasn't it me? //
The very small part of his mind which still contained sanity
had long since stopped trying to counter this repetition of
hopelessness, and instead concentrated on the lightsaber he was
constructing. It was a familiar, soothing task, and Obi-Wan
would normally have taken comfort from it. But in his little
bubble of anguish, not even familiar, well-loved tasks held
appeal.
His hands stilled as his eyes blurred again. He had put off
making a new lightsaber for himself because Qui-Gon's
lightsaber was the only thing he had left of his Master. He and
his new Padawan, Anakin, had returned to Coruscant to new,
sterile quarters, the Council feeling that a new start would be
the best. Obi-Wan could not even comfort himself with his
Master's aura, as even the bed was new. And all of Qui-Gon's
admittedly scanty possessions were gone as well. Best to make a
new start. Best to cut all ties with the past. Move on, young
Knight. After all, he was just your Master...
Just the one man in the entire universe who Obi-Wan loved
beyond thought, beyond being. Beyond caring that it was the
self-same Master who had shoved him aside for his blessed
'chosen one.' Now he was dead and there was no way of knowing
whether Obi-Wan's feelings could have been returned. No way of
knowing. No way...
Taking a deep breath, he picked up a tiny file, and with steady
fingers began shaping the crystal settings for the sapphires.
His time sense told him he had another hour before Anakin would
be done with his class; more than enough time to finish this
lightsaber. Then it would be back to pretending to be a Master
to the precious 'chosen one' and trying to mask - again - the
soul-searing pain he still felt whenever he was around the boy.
Not that it was the boy's fault that he was so much better than
Obi-Wan...
Gently blowing in the casing, Obi-Wan intently examined the
crystal brackets, looking for a flaw. Not sensing any, he
picked up the gemstones and fitted them carefully inside, his
Force sense on the alert for any abnormalities. A slight flux
caused him to pause momentarily, but when it did not repeat, he
shrugged and fitted the casing together, bolting it in place.
There. It was done. He dropped into a very light meditative
trance, about the only kind of trance he was capable of
nowadays, and used the Force to feel along the 'saber for any
flaws, damage, imperfections. He could find none, and stood.
Before he could test the 'saber, the door to the room hissed
open to reveal the dark form of Councilor Mace Windu. "Ah,
Kenobi, your Padawan said I might find you here."
The Councilor entered the room and noted the new 'saber in the
young Knight's hand. "Finished, then?" he asked.
"Yes," Obi-Wan said, running his fingers over the casing.
"Haven't tested it yet though."
"I'm sure it will be fine," Windu murmured. "I'm also sure it
will be a relief to have your own lightsaber to use again."
Dropping his hand to his belt, Obi-Wan felt his Master's
lightsaber still clipped there. "I-I guess." // And what would
YOU know of it, // he thought acerbically, behind the tight,
adamant shields that were part of his psyche lately.
"If you wish, you may keep Jinn's 'saber," Windu said slowly,
watching the younger man's face carefully. "I want you to know
that I did not agree with the Council's decision to move you
from your original apartment. I know what Qui-Gon meant to
you."
Fighting to keep his composure, Obi-Wan snarled to himself, //
Oh, you DO, do you?? I'm sure you do... // Aloud he merely
said, "Yes, I would like to keep it. Thank you." He
scrupulously avoided looking into the tall man's eyes as he
said it.
An uneasy silence descended as the two men stood together in
the room. Mace Windu was well aware of the tightly controlled
emotions boiling just beneath the surface of the Knight. He
liked Kenobi, and felt for the young man. His Master's death
had put too much of a strain on such young shoulders, and Windu
had resolved to look out for him. It was the least he could do
to honor the memory of his friend, Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Please let me know if I can help you, Obi-Wan," the Councilor
said. "Remember that the Council is not your enemy. We may not
have agreed with Qui-Gon, but what's done is done, and if you
need help with Anakin..."
Obi-Wan swallowed. In his mind, there was nothing the Councilor
could say... nothing ANY Councilor could say that would negate
the anger he felt towards them. But deep inside, he knew such
feelings were beneath him, and after all, he WAS supposed to be
a Jedi... "Thank you, Master Windu. I appreciate your words."
Pursing his lips, Windu studied the Knight for a moment, then
nodded shortly and left. There was nothing else to say.
Obi-Wan walked backwards until his back hit the wall. Slowly he
slid downwards until he sat on the floor, his hands between his
bent knees, his face a morass of desperately controlled
emotions. // WHY did you die?? // he wailed in the dark
recesses of his mind, the agony and desperation clear. As
always, there was no response. There would never be a response,
he was coming to realize. Qui-Gon Jinn was one with the Force
and his former Padawan was not... and may never be again.
After a moment, he pulled himself somewhat together again and
stood. He had time for a brief test before returning to his
apartment. He extended his Force sense to check the latticework
of protection built into the walls; this room was specially
designed to test potentially dangerous items, such as newly
built lightsabers, which was why he was here.
Satisfying himself that all was as it should be, he held the
'saber out and hit the power.
His head hurt. He was lying on something very hard and it was
dusty; moving kicked up some of the dust and made him want to
sneeze. Pushing himself up into a sitting position, he shook
his head gently and looked around. His 'saber was still lit; he
turned it off.
It was abnormally still. The walls of the room were destroyed
and the ceiling was mostly on the floor... which is what he had
been lying on. If he looked carefully, he could see dim
daylight far, far above him. // Did my 'saber blow? // he asked
himself muzzily, then realized if it HAD, he would have been
dead, not in a destroyed room. // Then what in the Force
happened? //
Reaching for the latticework in the walls, he was stunned to
discover the shielding was gone. His headache slowly fading, he
stood, clipping the new 'saber to his belt next to his
Master's, then made his way to the corridor. He expected to see
a crowd of people coming to investigate whatever happened to
him and the room, but the corridor was empty. He extended his
senses, seeking the weapons Master who was nominally in charge
of the workshop. He wasn't around.
Neither was anyone else. Becoming frantic, Obi-Wan began
seeking through the Force for anyone, any signature, Master to
Initiate, and began to panic when he felt no one. He stopped
and leaned against a ruined wall, trying to slow his breathing.
The Temple was in ruins and no one was around - what could have
happened?
There was no power, not even emergency power. Most of the
stairs were rubble. He carefully picked his way up and out to
one of the gardens, intently looking around and holding down
his increasing alarm by dint of heroic effort. The garden he
finally emerged in did nothing to calm him; what few plants
were left were scorched and stunted, paving blocks lay
everywhere, and even the sky was empty. The Coruscant sky was
never empty. Silence reigned.
Stunned, he dropped down on one of the larger blocks that
riddled what was left of the garden and looked around. No
birdsong, no breezes, the fountains were empty and silent, no
voices of children or adults anywhere. No mechanical noises
either, nothing to indicate any life whatsoever. What could
have happened, he wondered... obviously, it was no fault of
his, as nothing a 'saber could do would cause something so
wide-scale.
Shifting, his boot crunched on something. Looking down, he
realized it was a bone... attached to a partially-buried body.
The remains of a lightsaber lay near the limb, which was
obviously an arm. The bones wore a tattered robe, which was
brown. Jedi, then. He squatted down near the figure, lifting
the shreds of the robe carefully. A humanoid, but partially
decomposed and unrecognizable. Extending his senses, he tried
to determine any identification but could not.
He stood and began carefully looking around the garden. There
were many such remains littering the ground; it became apparent
that a battle of some sort had occurred. But - how? When? The
last thing he remembered clearly was thumbing the power switch
on his new 'saber, then realizing he was prone in the testing
room. It made no sense.
Wandering around the bodies, he began to notice a pattern of
defense, a common pattern that the Jedi would have taken to
protect the Temple. He moved a bit beyond the defensive flank
to find another set of bones and remains, this time dressed all
in black. He knelt near one of the black-clad dead, and
retrieved a strange looking 'saber. Turning it on, he
discovered a glowing, malevolent red blade.
Sith.
Standing again, he looked up and around. Near-perfect silence,
the wind blowing through the remains of massive towers the only
faint noise. The battle must have been cataclysmic, the Eastern
Tower was lying on its side while the Northern Tower was a
partially-melted stub. He couldn't see the other two towers
from where he stood, but he imagined they were the same. The
Central Pillar, where the Council had met, looked like a
volcano had erupted through the middle of it, and there were
many deep blasted holes throughout the complex.
Panic fading before numb confusion, Obi-Wan wandered around the
garden a bit more before sitting down again. He realized that,
for the first time since Qui-Gon had died, he wasn't thinking
about his Master. This was a puzzle that completely silenced
the gibbering voices of despair that had been his constant
companions; he was bereft, confused, confounded, utterly lost.
After quite some time had passed, he realized he was beginning
to hear a faint hum coming from outside the garden. Rising
warily, he moved towards the sound, which increased in volume.
Suddenly, a battle droid came into view, running scans,
obviously looking for living beings, and quite suddenly turned
towards him, calling out. Without thinking, Obi-Wan drew his
new 'saber and pressed the powerswitch.
This time, he realized what had happened. A vertiginous
wrenching, nauseating twisting surrounded him, tried to tear
him apart, blasted his head in two. He fell moaning to his
knees, one hand on his 'saber, the other clutching his head,
trying to defend himself from whatever new threat this was.
After a moment, the strange effect eased and he was able to
breathe again. He heard a shriek behind him, staggered to his
feet and whirled...
He was in the Temple. The normal Temple, in a garden, facing a
group of young Initiates led by an older Padawan. The trees,
grass, fountains, animals... all were back, and normal, and the
sky was filled once again with ships and skimmers. He looked
around, wide and wild-eyed, completely at a loss. The Padawan
was facing him, his own weapon drawn, protecting the
youngsters; behind him Obi-Wan could see several Masters and
Knights heading their way at a dead run. // Well, of course, //
he managed to think, // my 'saber is drawn and lit. I should
sheathe it. //
Doing so caused the Padawan facing him to relax somewhat, but
not completely. The children behind him were babbling something
about a ghost, and just appearing out of thin air, but all of
Obi-Wan's attention was focused on the approaching Masters, one
of which was Mace Windu.
Hanging his 'saber on his belt, he bowed a bit to the Padawan.
"I-I'm sorry... something's wrong with me I think... "
By then, Master Windu had drawn even with the Padawan and was
staring at Obi-Wan, his face a mask of shock. Sheathing his own
'saber, the Padawan turned to the Master. "He just appeared,
Sir, out of nowhere! And it's..."
"I know... I know. You've done well. Take your class back
inside, Padawan Voll." Turning back to Obi-Wan he looked the
young Knight over carefully, not sheathing his 'saber but not
turning it on either.
"Master Windu... I think something's wrong with me. I-I was
just testing my new 'saber, like I said I was going to, and..."
"Who are you?" Windu's voice was harsh with caution and not a
little fear.
Obi-Wan blinked, fighting back panic. "Wha--? It's me, Pad-I
mean Knight Kenobi. What's wrong? What's happening to me? Just
a few seconds ago, the Temple was in ruins and there were dead
Sith everywhere!"
Raking the younger man up and down with his eyes, Windu said,
"Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi is dead. He died on Naboo with his
Master at the hands of the Sith."
His legs giving out again, Obi-Wan collapsed on the grass
before the big Councilor. His mouth was dry, his hands
trembling and he was having trouble breathing. "What?" he
gasped. "How...this isn't possible. I don't understand!"
"Neither do I," Windu said, squatting near the distraught young
man. "Are you a clone? And why do you have two lightsabers on
your belt?"
"I'm NOT a clone," Obi-Wan said harshly. "And I don't
understand what's happening to me. I'm wearing two 'sabers
because... because one of them was Qui-Gon's. You yourself told
me I could keep it, just a little while ago as I finished
building my own."
Windu shook his head slowly. "Yoda is on his way. I don't know
what's happening here, but I do know that Obi-Wan Kenobi died
almost a month ago."
Obi-Wan buried his head in his hands, desperately seeking his
center and not finding it. They sat together in silence, Windu
dropping into a meditative pose and Obi-Wan trying in vain to
calm himself, until the diminutive green Master put in an
appearance. Yoda stumped slowly along the walk, stopping when
he had come even with Windu to regard the young Knight.
"The Force signature is the same," Windu said quietly. "I
detect no fear or dark in him, but enough pain and anguish to
stop a star. Whoever he is, he's not lying, not consciously."
Yoda continued walking then until he was directly in front of
Obi-Wan. One clawed hand reached out and tenderly caressed
shaggy hair. After a moment, Obi-Wan felt calmer, and looked up
at Yoda, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "Master?"
A deep breath was raggedly let loose and bright eyes focused on
the Knight. "Kenobi you are. Lying you are not. How this is
possible I know not."
Surprising himself, Obi-Wan reached out with both arms and
hugged the tiny Master, sobbing into his cloak. Yoda allowed
it, patting heaving shoulders gently while the storm passed,
lending his strength and comfort until Obi-Wan could get
himself back under a semblance of control. "I'm sorry... so
sorry. I don't know what's happening to me."
"Tell all, you will. From the beginning," Yoda said, sitting
down on the grass near Obi-Wan. At his gesture, Windu came
nearer as well, waving off the Knights who had stood guard
until now.
Gently, Windu said, "Obi-Wan Kenobi died on Naboo, almost a
month ago. How is it you are here, now?"
Shaking his head, Obi-Wan dried his eyes and nose on the sleeve
of his tunic, coughing to clear his throat. "No. Master Qui-Gon
died. In... in my arms. I watched that thing run him through
and couldn't do anything about it; I was trapped behind cycling
force fields. When I could get in, I killed the Sith thing then
ran to Qui-Gon. It was... it was too late. He made me promise
to train the boy and then h-he died in my arms." In telling the
story again, Obi-Wan wondered if it would ever get less
painful.
Windu was shaking his head. "What boy?"
Looking up sharply, Obi-Wan said, "Anakin. Anakin Skywalker.
The precious 'chosen one.' Damn it Master Windu, you tested him
yourself!"
Yoda and Windu exchanged puzzled glances. "Went to Naboo, my
former Padawan did, and his Padawan also," Yoda said softly.
"Attacked they were, by horned being, dressed in black,
well-trained in Jedi arts. Sith, perhaps it was. Dead, it now
is, dead by their hands. When attended funeral of Queen
Amidala, saw body we did."
"The Queen is dead?" Obi-Wan whispered. "Then the Trade
Federation...?"
"The Trade Federation has control of Naboo. Senator Palpatine
has signed a treaty with them. We were allowed to retrieve the
bodies of Qui-Gon and - and Obi-Wan and bring them back home
for proper interment. I was at their immolation," Windu said.
Reading the shocked expression on Obi-Wan's face, he continued,
"I take it that's not how you remember things."
"We escaped Naboo with the Queen," Obi-Wan whispered, stunned.
"Our ship was damaged and we went to Tatooine for repairs.
There, Qui-Gon met Anakin Skywalker. He was convinced the boy
was the 'chosen one' and insisted on bringing him along with
us. We came back here, and Qui-Gon took Anakin as his Padawan
Learner."
Eyebrows rising almost past his face, Windu said, "He put you
ASIDE? Your own lifemate put you aside?"
"Lifemate?" Obi-Wan gasped, then collapsed into himself. "Oh,
Qui-Gon, I always wanted..." The tears were threatening again
and he tore at his hair to give him something to focus on. Yoda
put one claw on his knee in sympathy.
"Stop you must," he said gently. "Begin to see a pattern I do.
Tell us, what happened to you today, when started this did?"
Drawing strength and calm from the touch, Obi-Wan took a deep
breath. "I-I finally managed to build my own lightsaber. Mine
was lost in the melting pit on Naboo, and I had been using
Qui-Gon's. I remember speaking to you, Master Windu, just
before I tested it. I do remember powering it on, then suddenly
waking up in a ruined Temple."
"A ruined Temple?" Windu repeated, puzzled. "Can you explain?"
"No! The entire Temple was destroyed. There was no living thing
around that I could sense. There weren't even any ships in the
sky. But there were bones... lots and lots of bones, Jedi
and... and Sith, I think, here in the garden.
"I was confused, completely at a loss. I sat here for a while,
trying to figure out what to do, when I heard a distant noise.
I went to investigate and found a Battle Droid patrol. They saw
me, I drew my 'saber and lit it... then..." he trailed off,
remembering the odd vertigo and nausea. "It was like my head
and stomach exploded. I fell to my knees... then realized I was
here. Not a ruined Temple after all. But now..."
Yoda and Windu traded significant glances. "Show us, can you?"
asked Yoda gently.
Readily agreeing, Obi-Wan dropped the tatters of his shields
and allowed the two Masters to delicately review his memories.
Yoda withdrew with a sigh. "Truth, it is. Answer, I believe I
have. Kenobi you are... but not Kenobi of here."
"What?" Normally confused when talking to Yoda, Obi-Wan's
mental numbness simply made the little green Master even more
opaque.
"Reality is not," Yoda said, slowly. "Relative, reality is,
relative to every thing that happens. Dies that tree does," he
pointed to a nearby tree, "and different tomorrow will be than
if tree lived. 'If' rules all worlds... if tree lives, if tree
dies... if Obi-Wan lives, if Obi-Wan dies. Traveling, somehow
you are, to the other ifs. Other realities."
Slowly the concept sank into Obi-Wan's abused brain. Other
realities... "Then, here, I died along with my Master," he said
slowly.
"You were lifemates," Windu said gently; "and one lifemate
rarely lives long past the other's death. I take it you were
not in your reality."
"No," Obi-Wan said, his voice choked. "No, we weren't." // Not
that I didn't WANT to be...// he thought to himself
desperately. Suddenly, a thought came to him. "Wait. I-I
died here. Isn't it possible that in some other reality,
Qui-Gon is still...is still ALIVE?"
In his excitement, Obi-Wan sat up straighter. Yoda and Windu
exchanged glances again. "Possible, this is," Yoda said slowly.
"But care you must take."
"You've already seen one other, harsher reality," Windu agreed.
"It appears your new 'saber is the key, wouldn't you say,
Yoda?"
"Yes. Ignite it and you will move," Yoda said. "Advise you in
this I must. Stay here. Safer it is, and need you, the Order
does. Great loss it was to us when Jinn and Kenobi joined the
Force."
Leaping to his feet, Obi-Wan began to pace. His brain was
whirling with thoughts and possibilities, ideas clashing.
Foremost was the thought that somewhere, in some 'if', Qui-Gon
was alive, and waiting for him. "I can't," he finally said.
"I-I understand what you are saying, and the last 'if' reality
was frightening and foreboding. But if there's some chance,
somewhere..." Once again, he knelt, before Yoda. "Please
understand. Part of me died when he did. I miss him. I love
him."
Yoda's ears sagged, but he never took his eyes from Obi-Wan's
face. "Then go you must. Help you, we can. Rest, take food and
drink here before moving on."
Windu was obviously reluctant, but willing to abide by Yoda's
decision. "I would like to examine your 'saber too, so that
such a thing can be avoided in the future."
Obi-Wan agreed readily. For the first time in over a month, his
heart was light and his head was clear. Somewhere, he would
find Qui-Gon again. Somewhere... some 'if.'
Several hours later, it was an almost buoyant Obi-Wan Kenobi
who emerged back into the garden. He had a satchel slung over
one shoulder and was wearing clean clothes. In the satchel was
his Master's lightsaber, some food bars and bottled water, a
dataslate for him to keep a journal, and some changes of
clothes. Windu accompanied him and Yoda awaited him, sitting by
the side of a fountain. Obi-Wan stopped and bowed to the small
green being, then took a seat at his feet.
"Thank you for your help, Master Yoda, Master Windu," he said,
patting the satchel. "And I promise, I will be careful."
"Reconsider, I wish you would," Yoda said sadly, "but know you
will not, I do. A great Knight you will be."
"Thank you again," Obi-Wan said softly. "I-I don't know what
I'm going to find out there. But it's obvious that the Sith are
not extinct, I think."
Windu nodded thoughtfully. "From what you tell me, I have to
agree. We will be vigilant. You must be too," he added,
clasping Obi-Wan's shoulder in a strong, sympathetic grip. "I
hope you find what you're looking for," he added, softly.
Cocking his head, Obi-Wan regarded the big man. "You are
different. Or maybe it's me. I don't know... but I do know that
if I thought I had no chance, I'd be willing to stay here.
Thank you again for your help."
"May the Force be with you," Windu said, and Yoda echoed him,
his ears drooping. Standing, Obi-Wan stepped away from them,
unclipped his 'saber and held it out before him.
With one last look and a deep breath, he pressed the power
button and disappeared with a muted bang of displaced air.
Windu and Yoda exchanged long looks, then Windu turned and
slowly made his way back inside. Yoda stayed where he was for a
long time, until the sun began to descend and night began to
fall.
Archive 