Lovers? What Lovers? Where?

by Minuet (threefourtime@hotmail.com)



Archive: master_apprentice

Category: PWP, humor

Rating: R, for language

Warning: Life is short. So's this story. And it wasn't betaed, either.

Spoilers: One, on the back of my Grand Prix.

Summary: Response to Mac's first line challenge, "Obi-Wan, no one is going to believe that we're lovers!".

Notes: I've got to stop writing this stuff at work. Feedback: Well, sure. Otherwise, I'd just sit around and read this to myself.

Disclaimer: I didn't do it. And even if I did, I didn't make a dime.



"Obi-Wan, no one is going to believe that we're lovers!"

"I certainly hope you're right, Master, or this interview could be really embarassing. Not to mention disastrous to the mission. The Patbuchanan culture has an extremely strong taboo against same-sex relationships."

"Everything will be fine, Padawan. I'm celibate; you're heterosexual. What would give anyone the idea that you and I are now or have ever been lovers?"

"Actually, I'm bi."

"What?"

"I'm bisexual. I swing both ways. I have double the chances of getting a date on Saturday night. I--"

"I know what "bi" means, Padawan. Since when?"

"Since forever. What did you think all those young men who spent the night in our quarters were doing there?"

"Playing video games. Talking about sports. I don't know. Anything but getting fucked by my padawan."

(sheepishly) "Actually, I'm usually on the bottom."

(pause)

"I do not need to know this. Let's just concentrate on preparing for this interview. Feel the Force, Padawan."

"Yes, master." (encouragingly) "Even if I am bi, you're still celibate. That should be convincing enough."

(no response)

"Shouldn't it?"

"Celibate may have been a bit too...unequivocal. But I'm practically celibate."

(archly) "What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm usually very busy, and when I'm not, I'm very, very careful."

(pause)

"Are you very, very careful with women...or men?"

(no response)

"Master?"

"Um, with men."

(lengthy pause)

(casually) "So, what are you doing after this mission, Master?"

THE END