The Weight of Rituals

by Jena Bartley (js_bartley@yahoo.com)

DISCLAIMER: All characters and property of Star Wars belong to George Lucas. This fan fiction was created solely for entertainment and no money was made from it. Also, no copyright or trademark infringement was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

ARCHIVE: M-A Other sites, please ask for permission

CATEGORY: First Time

RATING: NC17

SUMMARY: There are many rituals Anakin finds useless in the Jedi Order

PAIRING: Obi-Wan/Anakin

DATE: December 2005

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written for the MA fundraising zine. Thank you to Laura for the beta.

Wind rustled through the courtyard of the governor's home, tugging at the edges of Anakin's robe. He wrapped it more tightly around him, shutting out the coolness of the wind and continued walking along the edge of the courtyard. The finely cut stone path was cold beneath his bare feet but Anakin ignored it. His hood was back, letting the breeze ruffle his short hair and send his padawan braid dancing against his chest.

Up ahead he could see light flickering in a window of one of the guest quarters. Nerves fluttered in his stomach making his hand clench on his robe, but he forced himself to keep walking slowly onwards. He wanted this, he really did.

The door opened just as he reached it, Obi-Wan standing on the other side smiling warmly at him. That smile, so rarely seen, had Anakin relaxing a little as he stepped inside. Obi-Wan's quarters were similar to his, an open, airy room with a soaring roof and windows on two sides letting in the sun during the day.

In one corner was a huge bed, as big as Anakin's. A dividing screen was partially folded back, allowing Anakin a glimpse of the covers already turned down. A shiver ran through him at the thought of why that had been done.

A warm hand grasped his shoulder, Obi-Wan moving to stand in front of him, blocking his view of the bed. "It's all right, Anakin. We will only go as far as you want."

"I know. I'm just nervous." Anakin smiled at him, a warmth threading through him at Obi-Wan's answering smile.

Obi-Wan's face was so open tonight, his eyes bright with warmth and pleasure, such a rarity to see in the usually stoic Jedi. Anakin could still clearly see the surprise and shock on his master's face when he'd asked Obi-Wan to this, the emotions giving way quickly to genuine pleasure.

Anakin could feel the warmth of Obi-Wan's body next to his, dressed only in his leggings and inner tunic. His hand was a warm weight on Anakin's shoulder, comforting and familiar from the many times Obi-Wan had touched him in encouragement or comfort, or to correct him as his master and teacher for the past nine years.

That thought steadied him, making him relax further. Shifting away slightly from Obi-Wan, Anakin reached up and pulled his robe off his shoulders, letting it pool around his feet. Like Obi-Wan, he was wearing only his leggings and inner tunic. Obi-Wan watched him, not smiling anymore but his eyes were still warm and open.

Anakin moved towards him, a little closer this time, close enough that their bodies were almost brushing, and Anakin could breathe in the rich scent of his master, as familiar to him as Obi-Wan's touches and too-rare smiles. Obi-Wan had to tilt his head up a little to meet his eyes, which made Anakin laugh for some odd reason.

Obi-Wan laughed as well, the laughter spreading to his eyes. He reached out and gently touched Anakin's cheek, fingers trailing down lightly as the laughter died and Anakin's breath hitched slightly. He leaned into the caress, feeling the calluses on Obi-Wan's fingers as Obi-Wan stroked his cheek again.

"Remember, I can stop anytime you want to, and I'll only go as far as you're willing."

"I know. I trust you,"Anakin replied, his voice not quite firm.

Obi-Wan looked at him intently, his eyes serious as Anakin met his gaze steadily. Whatever Obi-Wan saw in Anakin's eyes seemed to relieve him. He slid his hand around Anakin's neck, pressing lightly but Anakin was already leaning forward.

Anakin kept his eyes open as their mouths brushed lightly together. Obi-Wan's eyes were open as well, his lips moving against his. The feel of Obi-Wan's beard was a strange sensation against his lips and cheeks, wiry whiskers adding another level of feeling. Then Obi-Wan tilted his head slightly to bring their mouths into better contact, his eyes drifting closed as the kiss deepened.

Anakin's hands came up to rest hesitantly on Obi-Wan's hips, eyes still open. The feel of Obi-Wan's mouth moving over his was familiar and strange all at once. His lips were soft and dry, and Anakin could almost imagine he was kissing a girl instead of his master, except for the feel of Obi-Wan's beard.

Obi-Wan's free hand slipped around Anakin's waist, tugging him closer, making Anakin gasp as he felt Obi-Wan's body fully against his, hard planes and angles instead of the softness and curves of a female body pressed him. He tensed in Obi-Wan's arms as he felt his master's arousal hot and hard against his thigh.

Anakin forced himself to relax, to concentrate on the sensations Obi-Wan was stirring up. Obi-Wan's tongue slipped inside his mouth, sliding over his own tongue and making him moan. The hand cupping the back of his neck slid down his back in one long stroke, sliding over his ass to press him even closer to Obi-Wan.

He shuddered, stiffening at the feel of Obi-Wan's cock sliding against his, Obi-Wan's tongue stroking lightly inside his mouth, his body hard against Anakin's.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan pulled away slightly, giving him a bit of breathing room. The hand on his ass had moved up to rest on his hip, tracing lightly over his hip in an attempt to soothe him.

"I'm all right," Anakin said, smiling and knowing the smile was too bright, too false.

Obi-Wan frowned, clearly not believing him, so Anakin leaned into to kiss him hard, shutting his eyes tightly. Obi-Wan didn't move for a long moment, then relaxed, his hands slipping around Anakin again to pull him close as his mouth opened under Anakin's.

He wanted this, he really did, but he was too aware of the hard, solid feel of Obi-Wan against him instead of the soft curves of the girls he was used to. The way his beard scraped across the sensitive skin of his neck as Obi-Wan licked and kissed him, his hand sliding under Anakin's tunic and over his stomach made Anakin shudder. He could feel Obi-Wan thick and hard against his thigh, his own partially hard shaft rubbing against his master's belly.

Suddenly it was too much and Anakin pulled away with a gasp, breathing hard as he stepped back from Obi-Wan, who was looking at him in concern.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan moved closer, but didn't touch him, for which Anakin was grateful. He couldn't understand why he was reacting this way when he'd asked Obi-Wan for this, for his master to become his lover.

Taking a couple of deep breaths to steady himself, he turned to face Obi-Wan, seeing the concern and confusion on his face.

"What is it, Anakin? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just nervous." He reached out to trace his fingers down Obi-Wan's cheek but Obi-Wan only frowned at him.

"This is more than just first time nerves, Padawan."

"No, it isn't. I want to do this with you. Tonight."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, Anakin. I think it would be best to hold off for a while."

Anakin glared at him, hands clenching into fists before he forced himself to relax. "Even though I want to do this now? I know what I want, Master and I want this."

"Part of you may want this, Anakin but there is also another part of you that doesn't and I don't know why. It would be best to wait for a while." Obi-Wan stroked his cheek, affection and reassurance in his eyes. "There is no reason to rush this, my young padawan."

Anakin jerked his head back from Obi-Wan's touch. Anger burned in his stomach and he walked away from Obi-Wan, trying to force it back down. Why was Obi-Wan doing this to him? He was the one to ask Obi-Wan, shouldn't he be the one to decide when and if he was ready, not Obi-Wan?

"Anakin." Obi-Wan's voice was pitched low, the tone of voice he used when he was trying to soothe an angry mob or comfort someone.

Anakin only glared back him, not wanting to be comforted.

"Why is it you will sleep with Ferus and not me?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Anakin cursed silently. Emotions flashed across Obi-Wan's face too fast for Anakin to understand them before his features slipped back into his master's usual stoic expression - except for how his body was now ridged with anger.

"What do you mean by that, Padawan?" Even Obi-Wan's voice was clipped, tightly controlled.

Too controlled, but Anakin ignored it. "I saw Ferus come out of your room two weeks ago, and I saw him kissing you."

The scene was still so clear in his mind. Waking up early one morning and deciding to join Ob-Wan for breakfast, something they rarely did. He could still hear the quiet, morning hush of the Masters' Wing and the soft hiss of a door opening. He saw Ferus coming out of Obi-Wan's room, barefoot with his robe on but open, showing off the lean length of him in nothing but leggings, his master standing in the doorway clad only sleep pants riding low on his hips. He remembered the rage boiling up inside him at the tender look on Obi-Wan's face as he stroked his fingers over Ferus' cheek just before leaning into to kiss him softly.

Anakin moved closer to Obi-Wan, anger making his voice rise. "I know he asked you to be his First Lover. So why will you be Ferus' lover and not mine, your own padawan, Master?"

Obi-Wan slammed his shields up so hard it made Anakin's head snap back as all traces of his master were locked away from him.

"Get out." Obi-Wan didn't shout but the cold, contained rage in his voice sank into Anakin.

A stranger was standing before him now in place of his Master, with cold eyes and stiff body; and he didn't know this man. The rage was starting to abate, still leaving Anakin feeling angry and jealous, almost shaking from the emotions. He turned and stormed out of the room, and back to his own.

The anger drained out of him as fast as it hit. Anakin slumped down against a wall, legs drawn up with his arms wrapped around him. The rage and jealousy faded, leaving him feeling empty and numb with the awful feeling that he'd really screwed up this time. His mind was empty of anything connected to Obi-Wan.

Before, even when Obi-Wan was tightly shielded, there was always a trace of his presence lingering in Anakin's mind, that one small part Anakin associated as being his training bond with Obi-Wan. Now he couldn't even feel that spot, so tightly shielded was Obi-Wan, and it hurt to know he had done that to his master, had hurt the other man enough that Obi-Wan was hiding completely behind his shields. Anakin wanted to go out again and apologize, but the memory of seeing Obi-Wan kissing Ferus made him stay where he was.

In the morning, he dragged himself up from the floor, feeling tired and drained from last night, and too little sleep. Reaching out mentally, Anakin lightly touched the place in his mind where Obi-Wan was should be only to feel nothing. Obi-Wan was still tightly shielding from him. He got dressed and made his way to the kitchen, where their hosts had prepared breakfast for their Jedi guests.

Obi-Wan was already there, eating and talking with their hosts. He nodded to Anakin, looking as he usually did, as though last night hadn't happened. If it wasn't for how tightly shielded he was, Anakin could almost believe last night hadn't happened.

Obi-Wan nodded to the stool beside him where Anakin's robe rested, neatly folded.

"Thank you, Master." Anakin pulled on the robe before sitting down beside Obi-Wan. His breakfast was already laid out for him and he ate quietly, listening to his master talking.

Things felt normal, except Anakin no longer felt Obi-Wan in his mind. As they made preparations to leave and head back to Coruscant, Anakin tried to approach Obi-Wan, not sure how to apologize for last night or what he was apologizing for, except that he knew he'd hurt Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan didn't outright avoid him, but Anakin knew his master was using the preflight preparations as a way to not talk to him.

He comforted himself with the knowledge that the trip back would be five days and Obi-Wan wouldn't be able to avoid him or continue to shield from him so completely for that stretch of time.

Four days out and Anakin realized Obi-Wan could, in fact, shield that tightly for a long time. It wasn't that his master was avoiding him, it was more that there was a wall between them now, leaving Anakin feeling lonely, frustrated and just a little bit lost; a wall Anakin couldn't find his way around to reach Obi-Wan the way he used to. Obi-Wan didn't touch him anymore or give him those small smiles of warmth and encouragement. He wasn't an overly tactile person to begin with, but Anakin found himself missing the brief touches of his master's hand on his shoulder in encouragement and friendship, or the way he gently corrected Anakin's mistakes in training. Their katas, when they found space in the cargo hold to do them, felt empty and lifeless. While still perfect and in step with each other, there was no life in the movement, no joy in the way the Force twined around them and between them as they flowed through the moves.

The katas felt routine and rote, something he rarely felt before when he practised with Obi-Wan. It was clear Obi-Wan was still holding back from him in some way. The movements of the kata were still fluid and graceful, but Obi-Wan merely went through them alongside Anakin. But when Obi-Wan went through the katas on his own they were filled with the passion Obi-Wan kept so tightly in check except on the battlefield.

He missed his master.

He didn't know how to fix this breach between himself and Obi-Wan, couldn't find the words or the way to reach out and break down the wall Obi-Wan had erected between them. There was something more going on with Obi-Wan beyond Anakin doing something stupid like asking his master to be his First Lover because of jealousy over his rival Ferus being in Obi-Wan's bed. Something Anakin was missing.

Anakin retreated to his cabin after a sparring session, flopping down on the bed to stare at the ceiling.

First Lover's Ritual. It was a stupid tradition, one of many the Jedi seemed to love and but Anakin couldn't understand.

Traditions and rituals had little place in his former life of a slave. Survival was the most important factor, not something as useless and irrelevant as traditions. They had no place in his life as a slave, nor as a Jedi. He didn't need something as silly as a ritual to remind him he was training to be a Jedi. At times he could scream at the sheer number of traditions and restrictions the Jedi placed on themselves. He'd had more freedom as a slave some days than as a Jedi.

It didn't help that he saw a lot of similarities between being a Jedi and being a slave. He wore simple, rough clothes as both a slave and a Jedi. As a slave it had been to mark him as being owned. As a Jedi it was to serve as part of tradition, a Jedi's visible oath to protect and serve others of the galaxy. His hair was cut short except for his knight's tail and braid, again part of tradition showing others he was under apprenticeship to a master, and as a slave it had been to establish his place. Elaborate hairstyles and nice clothes were a sign of freedom, and any slave caught in such things had been punished.

His first ritual with Obi-Wan had been Obi-Wan binding the two of them together as master and padawan. Obi-Wan had cut Anakin's hair and braided his first padawan braid, telling him about the path they were both on, of how hard it would be and how he was now a servant of the Force, obeying its will and the will of the Council. He remembered looking at Obi-Wan in concern, but Obi-Wan had easily read his thoughts because his new master had smiled at him, gently telling him being a Jedi was not like being a slave.

That was one of the only few rituals Anakin had learned. When Obi-Wan saw how little use Anakin had for them, he'd stopped teaching them. There were also other things Obi-Wan allowed Anakin to get away with, such as bowing to others. He knew all the ways to bow to another based on rank, wisdom, peerage, etc., but he only did a shallow bow to most people, one of peer to peer, no matter what the other being's rank was. The sight of padawans and knights face down on the floor in the bow of repentance always sent a shiver down his spine, because he kept seeing his friends on Tatooine or his mother in that same posture, their faces ground into the dirt and dust over some slight their owner had taken against them. He couldn't understand the reason behind such bows. With their power and ability to use the Force, the Jedi were at the very least equal to others such as senators and planetary leaders.

So many useless traditions and rituals, and the First Lover's ritual being one of the most absurd of them all. When a padawan wanted to learn about sex, they would go to their own master or another master and ask them to teach them. The master's responsibility was to initiate the padawan into sex in a safe and secure way. The ritual had started way back when the Jedi were little more than scholars and monks, and had evolved over time. Now it was about teaching a padawan how to have sex with another being without becoming attached or falling in love with their lover. It was for those padawans who wanted more than just a warm body to screw.

Anakin didn't need the First Lover's ritual to know how to have sex without becoming attached to someone. He preferred the anonymity of Coruscant's clubs or a one-night stand with one of the people he met while on a mission. But seeing Ferus coming out of Obi-Wan's room that morning had made him angry and he'd asked Obi-Wan to be his own teacher out of jealousy.

Now he was left with a wall between them and the feeling that he'd hurt Obi-Wan far more then he realized. And he couldn't stop remembering the feel of Obi-Wan kissing him and the way he had touched him with such care and almost reverence. Anakin felt safe in Obi-Wan's arms in a way he hadn't felt since he left his mother on Tatooine.

He wanted more of that, wanted to feel Obi-Wan's skin against his own. He wanted to finish the ritual with Obi-Wan. For the first time he willingly wanted to partake in one of the Jedi's endless rituals, but to do that he needed to somehow break through Obi-Wan's shields.

Upon landing on Coruscant, Obi-Wan headed straight for the Jedi Council to debrief them on their mission. Anakin made his way to Obi-Wan's room to finally corner his master and fix the mess he'd caused between them.

Obi-Wan's quarters were spare and neat compared to Anakin's. Beyond the basic essentials there was little else in the room, but Anakin could feel his master's imprint throughout the small quarters. Obi-Wan's presence filled the room, making Anakin all the more aware of the barrier between them.

He left his boots and robe by the door before wandering around the room, touching various things of Obi-Wan's just to feel his aura. There was a small wooden chest sitting on a table that Anakin had never seen before. It was battered and worn smooth with age, a few scratches marring the painted surface. Opening it up, Anakin saw a jumble of hair bands in a variety of colours, and beads of numerous sizes, shapes and colours, all of which had a hole through the centre. Some of them reminded Anakin of the beads he'd seen in several padawan braids of his friends. Just recently, Darra Thel-Tanis had a bead almost the same colour as one of the ones in the chest. Tru Veld had bands of green and blue adorning his braid, the number growing over the years, all related to some kind of ritual masters and padawans went through together.

Obi-Wan had red and yellow bands in his braid when Anakin first met him.

Anakin's hand stilled inside the chest as it hit him. Obi-Wan would have gone through many of the rituals and traditions Anakin hated so much with his own master, Qui-Gon. He had taken Anakin through his very first tradition when they became master and apprentice. It never occurred to him that Obi-Wan may have liked and even enjoyed those rituals Anakin sneered at. Yet seeing how much Anakin hated them, Obi-Wan had stopped teaching them to him without ever hinting that he was disappointed in giving up on those rituals.

In the First Lover's ritual, a master asked to be the first lover considered such a request as a great honour and responsibility. Obi-Wan had been shocked and completely surprised at his request. What had it done to him when he realized that Anakin was only doing the ritual because he'd seen Ferus going through it with Obi-Wan? How deeply had he hurt Obi-Wan with that revelation, after Obi-Wan had been so honoured Anakin had even asked him?

That was why Obi-Wan was shielding so heavily from Anakin now. He had hurt Obi-Wan far more than he realized. Now he had to make amends for that horrible mistake.

When Obi-Wan walked through his door, Anakin was kneeling on the floor in the centre of the room. His eyes were closed as he tried to clear his head, hands resting on his knees as he waited. At Obi-Wan's swift intake of breath, Anakin opened his eyes to see a look of shock on his master's face.

Holding Obi-Wan's gaze for a long moment, Anakin leaned forward in a low bow, hands stretched out on the floor in front of him as his forehead rested on the ground, leaving his neck bare and vulnerable.

Tradition. A Jedi who has wounded another Jedi grievously must humble himself to the injured party and seek forgiveness.

Anakin trembled, images of his mother in the same position on Tatooine as one of Watto's customers ranted about something she had done, a small mistake she had made. His boot had ground his mother's face into the dirt while Anakin looked on, hands clenched, knowing there was nothing he could do to save his mother from that humiliation.

He was no longer a slave. He was a Jedi now, and despite all the restrictions and silly rituals, he was where he wanted to be. If he wasn't, he could have walked away a long time ago and gone to free his mother. This was not about humiliation, but about asking for forgiveness for something incredibly stupid he had done.

"Anakin..." There was shock in Obi-Wan's voice and a waver in the shields surrounding him.

"My Master. I have hurt you greatly with my thoughtlessness and carelessness in asking you to be my First Lover. I let myself be blinded by jealousy and anger when I saw Ferus coming out of your room. I didn't consider what it meant to undertake this ritual and ended up hurting you when that was the last thing I wanted to do."

As he spoke, Anakin tore down his own shields, leaving himself wide open to Obi-Wan, hoping the other man would see just how sorry he was.

For a very long time there was only silence. Then Obi-Wan's robe rustled as he moved. Anakin braced himself for whatever was coming only to still to jump when Obi-Wan touched his shoulder gently, raising him from his bow. He felt Obi-Wan's shields weakening until once again his master was inside his mind.

Anakin shuddered, the loneliness and lost feeling fading away as he felt Obi-Wan's presence again. Obi-Wan was still mostly shielding from him but not as much as before, letting Anakin feel the pain he'd caused. Reaching out with his mind, Anakin tried to ease some of that pain, brushing against the edges of Obi-Wan's mind and feeling the shields lowering even more.

"I am sorry, Master. I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

Obi-Wan sighed, holding out a hand to him. "I know you didn't mean to, Anakin, and I probably should have questioned you better when you asked me to be your lover, knowing how much you dislike rituals."

Anakin grasped his hand, letting himself be pulled up from the floor, and not stopping until he wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan, hugging him hard. Obi-Wan's arms were around him as well, the feel of his body solid and warm against his. He turned his head slightly to breathe in the scent of Obi-Wan's skin, feeling the soft brush of his hair against Anakin's face.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped back from Obi-Wan; as much as he loved his master's embrace, he wanted more.

Obi-Wan watched him, curiosity flickering across his face, his arms folded across his body and hidden by his robe. The nervous fluttering inside him Anakin eased a little as he realized Obi-Wan's expression was one of waiting and not a retreat behind his usual stoic mask.

Holding his master's eyes for a long moment, Anakin bowed deeply to Obi-Wan, in the mode of student to teacher. "Master Obi-Wan, I would be most honoured if you would be my First Lover."

Silence stretched out between them, heavy and expectant. Anakin resisted the urge to fidget as he waited for Obi-Wan to say something, anything.

"Why do you wish to undergo this ritual, my padawan, when you've had always shown little interest in such rituals?"

Anakin swallowed hard, searching for the words. "The first time I asked you was because I was jealous over seeing Ferus kiss you and knowing he had been in your bed. I let myself be blinded by anger and jealousy when I asked you and didn't realize..." Anakin spun on one heel and started pacing, struggling to put into words what he felt. He could feel Obi-Wan watching him, waiting patiently.

He turned back to face Obi-Wan, still pacing. "I didn't realize it would feel like that when you kissed me. I thought it would be exactly the same thing when I had sex at the clubs, but it wasn't. It was completely different. I thought I knew what it was like to have sex with someone without getting attached, and then you kissed me and touched me and it was like nothing I've done before. At the clubs it was about getting off, and I thought that was all there was until you touched me. And now I want you to show me the other way it can be."

Somehow he ended up standing right in front of Obi-Wan at the end of his answer. Obi-Wan tilted his head up slightly to meet Anakin's gaze, his expression unreadable.

"Will you teach me, Master?"

A slow smile spread across Obi-Wan's face, matched by the lowering of his shields even more. "Yes, I will, my padawan."

Anakin shuddered and stepped into Obi-Wan's arms, reaching out mentally to touch Obi-Wan's mind and finding welcome and warmth waiting for him. He lowered his mouth to Obi-Wan's, their lips just brushing again and again, until Obi-Wan slid a hand around Anakin's neck to hold him in place and kissed him hard.

Moaning, Anakin opened his mouth to feel Obi-Wan's tongue slipping inside and exploring. The feel of his beard against Anakin's face was no longer strange but erotic, the wiry whiskers adding to the sensation of being kissed by Obi-Wan. The feel of Obi-Wan's body hard against his felt good this time instead of something unusual. He slid his hands over Obi-Wan's back and down over the swell of his ass to press him closer.

Obi-Wan groaned, head falling back as Anakin licked and sucked a wet path down him master's neck to the hollow at the base of his throat. He arched into Anakin's body, hot and hard against his thigh. Anakin's hands trailed back up and around to Obi-Wan's belt. With eager, fumbling hands, he fought to undo the belt and sash while his mouth was busy tasting the patch of skin left bare by Obi-Wan's tunics.

His clumsy efforts had Obi-Wan laughing and he looked up to see his master smiling, eyes bright with mirth and need.

"So eager, Anakin."

Anakin grinned at him, feeling reckless and needy all at once. He was already hard, his shaft pushing at the front of his leggings. He didn't feel any of the strangeness and nervousness of last time. This time he knew for sure this was what he wanted. He and Obi-Wan, naked and together in Obi-Wan's bed.

He reached for Obi-Wan's belt again only to have his hands knocked away. Obi-Wan made quick work of the belt and sash, both falling to the floor unnoticed by either of them. Eagerly, his hands slid the tunics off Obi-Wan's shoulders, wanting to feel Obi-Wan naked against him. Obi-Wan's hands were just as busy ridding Anakin of his tunics before sliding over his chest and stomach. Anakin shuddered at the feeling of those callused hands roving over him.

This is what he wanted. The nervousness and fear of the first time were gone in the wash of sensations his master was drawing from his body. It wasn't so strange now to feel the hard body and sharp edges of Obi-Wan against him.

"Wait. Wait, Anakin." Obi-Wan pulled away, breathless, his face flushed. A shiver ran down Anakin's spine knowing he had made Obi-Wan look like that. "Same thing as last time, Anakin. We will only go as far as you want to, and I can stop at anytime."

Anakin ran his tongue over dry lips. "And if I want to go all the way?" Obi-Wan shuddered at that, making Anakin smile. "I know exactly what I want this time, Master. I want you. I want to feel you inside me."

Heat flared in Obi-Wan's eyes, darkening them. He stepped back to pull off his boots, Anakin watching his every move. Glancing up, he met Anakin's eyes and grinned as his hands slowly slid his leggings down his legs. Kicking them away, Obi-Wan stood naked before Anakin, letting his padawan look him over. He was all lean muscle and compact body, and Anakin knew he was far stronger than he appeared.

He was also hard, his shaft curving upwards against his belly. Anakin reached out to trace one fingertip over that hard length, feeling soft skin over hard steel. Wrapping his hand around Obi-Wan, Anakin stroked lightly, watching hungrily as Obi-Wan moaned and shuddered.

With a reluctant sigh, he let Obi-Wan go and moved away enough to strip off the rest of his clothes, feeling Obi-Wan's hot gaze on him. His own shaft was hard, wetness starting to form on the tip. Gathering up some, he spread it along his length, biting his lip at the sensation of him touching himself. Then Obi-Wan was there, knocking his hand way to touch Anakin himself.

Anakin groaned as Obi-Wan jerked him off roughly, walking him backwards until Anakin's knees hit the edge of the bed and he sat down, bringing Obi-Wan with him. Their mouths met, almost devouring each other as they tumbled across the bed.

Anakin's world narrowed down to the feel of their bodies grinding together, skin hot and slick with sweat and need. He could feel Obi-Wan pressed against him everywhere, feel the presence of him master inside his mind, twining around him mentally as much as their bodies were entwined physically.

Obi-Wan rolled him over onto his stomach, laughing roughly as Anakin pushed himself up on his hands and knees. Obi-Wan's body was hot against him as he felt Obi-Wan licking and kissing his way down his back. Then there was the pressure of oil-coated fingers inside Anakin, stretching and preparing him.

He pushed back, needing more, wanting more than just fingers as he willingly lost himself in the sensations roiling through him. Finally he could feel Obi-Wan pushing inside him, hard and insistent, making Anakin groan as he was slowly and steadily filled, slow and deep strokes that had him pushing back to meet Obi-Wan hard, wanting more. And Obi-Wan responded, wrapping one hand around his waist to pull Anakin up until he was kneeling, feeling Obi-Wan sink even deeper inside him.

Anakin reached down and stroked himself, free hand gripping Obi-Wan's taut thigh to give him more leverage as they moved together. His head fell back against Obi-Wan's shoulder, mouth open as the pleasure grew hotter and tighter, spiralling until he came hard, spilling over his fist and body.

Obi-Wan groaned as he felt Anakin tighten around him in orgasm, almost pounding into him until he tensed, coming hard inside Anakin.

It was a long time before Anakin stirred, slowly coming down. He shifted slightly on the bed, wincing a little in pain as Obi-Wan slid out of him. He was definitely going to feel this tomorrow, which only sent a shiver of pleasure through him. He felt sated mentally and emotionally in a way he'd never felt before with his other partners. The feel of Obi-Wan curled around him made him feel warm and complete. Before it had just been about easing a physical ache. Now he knew there could be so much more than just the mere rutting of two bodies wanting to get off.

Reaching out, he gently traced over the place where their bond was in his mind, feeling the echoes of his own pleasure mixed with Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan raised himself up on one elbow to kiss him lightly, before he slid out of bed. Anakin rolled onto his belly, hands tucked under a pillow as he watched Obi-Wan walk into the fresher, admiring the sleek, tight curve of his ass.

Obi-Wan came out with a wet cloth, which he used to clean up himself and Anakin. He tossed the used cloth to one side and curled up against Anakin, one hand resting across Anakin's back. As he shifted onto his side to better feel Obi-Wan spooned against him, Anakin's eyes fell on the wooden chest sitting on the table.

He stared at it for a long moment, listening to the quiet sound of his master drifting off to sleep. Reaching out with the Force, he gently picked up the chest and brought it over to the bed. Obi-Wan moved behind him when he felt the Force, taking the chest from Anakin's Force hold before Anakin could take it in his hands. Defeated, Anakin rolled over to watch as Obi-Wan opened it and began to stir the items around.

"I don't teach you most of the traditions and rituals the Jedi have not just because you don't care for them, but also because they were never a large part of my and Qui-Gon's years together. The bands in my padawan braids were used to mark important steps in our relationship, like when we first became master and padawan. This chest is something that has passed from one master to another since Yoda took his first padawan, and each master will pass on what rituals or traditions they want their apprentices to know."

Obi-Wan pulled out a small blue bead flecked with shades of green, his eyes serious as he held it up in the light coming in from the window. "I don't care what rituals you learn, Anakin, but I do care when you want to do them out of something other than the purpose of that ritual."

Behind his words Anakin could sense the edge of hurt his master still felt over Anakin's careless handling of the First Lover's Ritual. He leaned down to kiss Obi-Wan lightly, wanting to wash away that hurt but knowing it would take time. Obi-Wan stroked his cheek lightly before reaching for Anakin's padawan braid. With deft fingers he undid the braid and slid the bead on before re-braiding it. The bead rested against the end of his braid, a comforting weight reminding him of his master and the warmth and comfort of this particular tradition.