Summary: Qui-Gon talks with Yoda, then Mace and finally, his
padawan.
"Ah, Master Yoda. I was hoping to catch you. I would like a few
moments of your time, if it would not bee too much trouble."
Qui-Gon's words were as polite as always as he spoke to his
master, but Yoda could tell his padawan was most displeased. He
suspected he knew just why the man was so upset. It was all he
could do to keep the smile off his face as Qui-Gon sat down
before him.
"Always time for you I have, Padawan," Yoda said sweetly.
"Yes," Qui-Gon muttered. "Just as you always time for my
padawan as well."
"Hmmm. Yes. Padawan of my padawan, most precious to me is," he
said. Qui-Gon could feel the sincerity in his master's reply
and felt a touch of his earlier irritation bleed away. The
little green... troll... really did care about Obi-Wan.
"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon said as diplomatically as possible.
"However, there are some areas of his tutelage that I believe
would be best left to me."
"Humph. If tutoring him you were, come to me he would not need
to," Yoda said bluntly. Qui-Gon really hated it when his master
was right. He could see how his own padawan felt sometimes.
"I do agree with you that there are some areas of Obi-Wan's
education that are a bit, shall we say, lacking," Qui-Gon
hedged. If that was not the understatement of the century he
would tell Yoda to whack him in the shin himself.
"Innocent the boy should be," Yoda went on. "Naive, he should
not."
"Master, I realize that Obi-Wan his dreadfully naive for a boy
of thirteen. Even you must admit that Temple life tends to be
cloistered. But curing him of his naivete is my
responsibility."
Qui-Gon gave Yoda his best stare. The stare that made rulers
tend to quake in their boots. The stare that said 'I am a Jedi
Master. You will obey me.' And he might as well have been
staring at a rock for all the good it did.
"Come to you, the boy has," Yoda said, ignoring his padawan's
glare. "Answered his questions, you have not. If can not come
to you, where else would you have him go?"
"But, Master," Qui-Gon began only to realized he sounded very,
very much like his own padawan just then. "How am I supposed to
explain to him that... that... that taking something in your
mouth that's primary function is urination, at least for him
anyway, is highly pleasurable? I mean the boy actually asked me
if it was sanitary. Sanitary!"
Yoda could hold back no longer. He threw his head back and
laughed until he was wheezing. He had always known Obi-Wan
would be good for his padawan, but he had never known just how
good the boy would be.
"Are you finished?" Qui-Gon asked snidely as the worst of the
giggles tapered off.
"Finished, I am. For now." Yoda fell silent as he studied his
padawan. He could tell the man was truly troubled about this.
Putting his teasing aside for now, he laid a small hand to rest
on the man's arm.
"He's just so innocent," Qui-Gon said softly. "I hate to take
that from him."
"Take his innocence, you will not," Yoda said kindly. "Only his
ignorance."
"Yes, Master."
On the other side of the Jedi Temple an equally serious
conversation was about to take place.
"Can I help you, Obi-Wan?" Mace Windu asked with some
trepidation. After the discussion in the Council Chamber the
other day, he was more than a little apprehensive.
"May I ask you about something, Master Windu?" the young man
said softly. Mace could tell the boy was nervous. Fear,
agitation and determination were pouring off of him almost
equally. Knowing already that Qui-Gon was going to owe him for
this, he ushered the young man inside and put on his best 'Jedi
Master' face.
"Can you not go to your master with this?" Mace asked with
concern as he and Obi-Wan sat down.
"I tried, Sir," the boy began. "But he keeps getting... well...
flustered, I guess."
"Ahh," Mace said. He really did not want to know what this boy
could have gone to Qui-Gon Jinn with to leave the man
flustered. He really did not.
"I... I talked with Master Yoda yesterday and now I have even
more questions than before." The boy was radiating pure misery
now. Mace was kicking himself for ever answering the damnable
door, but he would not turn Obi-Wan away. Time to take care of
this once and for all. Hopefully.
"Perhaps you should tell me what you and Master Yoda
discussed," he suggested. "Then maybe I can answer your
questions." The look of pure gratitude on the boy's face told
Mace that he had made the right decision. At least until
Obi-Wan began to talk.
"So, what I really don't understand is why anyone would want to
put there mouth on something you pee out of," the boy finished.
Mace reached up to rub the bridge of his nose. He felt a world
class headache coming on. When he got his hands on a certain
little green Council member...
"Obi-Wan..." he began, hesitating. "This really is something
you should discuss with your master. I'm not sure how much
Qui-Gon wants you to know about all of this just yet. Master
Yoda should not have taken it upon himself to discuss this with
you."
"I know," Obi-Wan responded, disappointed. "Master said that
yesterday."
"But you came to me anyway?" Mace questioned.
"He didn't really say not to ask anybody, just that Master Yoda
shouldn't have talked to me about it," Obi-Wan said quickly. "I
tried to talk to him. I really did. But he... he got all upset.
Even after he said he wouldn't. Then he just... just went to
bed."
"I see," Mace said. It looked like Yoda was not the only one he
needed to have a talk with. "I will speak with your master. He
WILL sit down and talk to you about this. You have my word on
it."
"I didn't mean to get him in trouble," the boy said, his face
stricken.
"And you have not," Mace replied, soothing him. "I will speak
to him as one old friend to another. Nothing more. This really
is something he needs to discuss with you. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Master Windu," Obi-Wan said. He was doubtful, but if
Master Windu gave his word he kept it.
Later that night Qui-Gon sat down with a very subdued Obi-Wan.
He looked at the boy, not sure what to make of the rather glum
expression he wore. The Jedi master took a moment to relax and
collect his thoughts. After his frustrating conversation with
Yoda, Mace had come along and taken him to task over shirking
his duties as Obi-Wan's master. Qui-Gon had been ashamed that
his padawan felt he had to go to someone else to get his
questions answered, but he knew he had no one to blame but
himself. Well, that was getting rectified tonight.
"What is wrong, Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked the too quiet boy.
"I'm sorry for causing you all this trouble, Master," Obi-Wan
said sadly.
"You have caused me no trouble, Padawan," Qui-Gon said. "I
caused it to myself."
"Master?"
"You are growing up," Qui-Gon explained. "And I failed to
insure that you are properly educated. I realize that a great
deal of what we are going to discuss over the next several days
will not make much sense to you. Your body had not yet awakened
sexually. However, it has been brought to my attention that you
should have the knowledge whether or not you have the desire to
use it. Does that make sense, Obi-Wan?"
"I think so, Master," Obi-Wan said. "What you're really saying
is that some of this stuff, I'm just going to have to take your
word on?"
"Yes, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, more than relieved.
"Like the eating people stuff, right?" Obi-Wan said, happy to
finally be able to talk to his master again.
"Yes, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied. He could feel his face warming
up already. It was going to be a very long night. "It really is
highly pleasurable. And no, it is not unsanitary."
"If you say so, Master," Obi-Wan said dubiously.
"I say so, Padawan," Qui-Gon smiled. Maybe this was not going
to be so bad after all.
"Master," Obi-Wan said, his face suddenly lighting up. "Has
anyone ever eaten you?"
Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master most extraordinary, hung his head. It
was going to be a very long night.
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