Unwelcome

by DBKate

Category: POV, Romance, Q/O

Rating: PG

Summary: Short sequel/mirror to "Uninvited" by Kass. A lighthearted part of the "eclipse/penumbra" universe.

It's a very strange wind that blows through my new home.

If one becomes careless enough, one can almost fancy a grating voice running through it, rather like an awele against a bit of stone. Scraping and chipping at one's nerves, when all one wishes for is a bit of contemplative rest. A bit of well-deserved solitude.

Ah, well. I suppose one must deal with a particularly persistent wind as they do with all else. What is that saying? Ah, yes. Grin ... and bear it.

I like my life here. Alone. Utterly and completely alone.

Working and meditating during the day and at night...

Well, well. If it isn't that wind again. Sounding a bit taunting this time, taking credit for dreams unheeded. Of course a man can't control his dreams, and I am still but a man, and not quite dead yet. So, I have dreams. They are shadows of things past, things imagined ... they are not real. They never will be.

As ... enticing as they may be. Dreams are supposed to be occasionally enticing. A function of the mind to reduce stress and strain, so that one may face the day refreshed. However, I'm not willing to give any ... wind ... credit for them yet.

No, I am more than happy to practice my trade and my Slggish. It's a wonderfully useful language and I've learned some amazing words in it. Of course, a Slggish mother would no doubt wash my mouth out with a large batch of sass root upon hearing these words, but I think they serve that irritating wind back in equal measure.

But, in truth ... I couldn't care less.

And as for when I was fourteen, you damned....

Well, look at me. Almost speaking to a breeze. Almost turning on and berating a big, annoying windbag full of HOT air. You must be losing your mind, Ben Kenobi, you old coot, you.

And yes, I've made my mistakes. Too many of them. Between my own mistakes and the erroneous blame I've taken for the actions of others, I am as deeply flawed man as any other. But let no one be fooled into thinking that I am punishing myself for those trivial things ... no, they should think better of me than that.

Think better of me than some bitter, old loser in a high stakes game of chance.

How often have I been taught by my old Master, so long ago, that there is no chance, no luck ... there is only Fate. And that by living the way that I do at this moment, I am fulfilling that Fate, that Destiny, that's been laid at my door from before the day I was made a Knight.

And that I am also keeping my Word ... the only bit of honor that may be left in this wretched, corrupt galaxy.

But, who am I speaking to. No one is here, there is just myself and the wind and I will not listen to it anymore, I will force it back into its proper perspective and forget it as I have sworn myself to do.

Not matter how it intends to plague me. Or claims to give me dreams of happiness unbounded.

Dreams of spending the rest of my life wrapped in the arms of my beloved.

fini