Summary: Qui-Gon is not pleased with the latest issue of
TV Guide
Archive: Master/Apprentice (if they'd want it...)
Disclaimer: They're not mine (pout!), the amazing George Lucas
owns 'em and I'm just playing with his toys. I promise to play
nice and put 'em back when I'm done. :)
Authors Note: This is just a silly little rant from me, (in
fiction form)over part of the latest issue (June 12-18) of TV
Guide. I'm sure that I'm not the only one disappointed! Grrrr!
"Augh!" Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master (and all around great guy)
yelled from his sleep couch and violently threw the latest
issue of TV Guide across the room.
An instant later, his Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi appeared, ducked
the flying periodical and was at his Master's side wearing a
worried expression and not much else (you see he'd been in the
shower at the time).
"What is it Master?" his apprentice asked worriedly. "Did the
Jedi store run out of lube again?"
"No, my Padawan, it's worse... much worse." Qui-Gon gravely
told him as he motioned across the room at the crumpled TV
Guide.
Obi-Wan's eyes grew large with fear. "Is Sith-Cable running the
John Tesh Marathon again?"
"Great Yoda, I hope not!" the Jedi Master answered. "This is
almost as bad... Go fetch the guide my love and I shall show
you."
Obi-Wan retrieved the TV Guide from where it landed and looked
expectantly at his Master.
"Page thirty." Was the only reply.
Quickly flipping to the offending page, the Jedi apprentice
gave his Master a quizzical look. "It's a Phantom Family
chart...?"
"Yes it is. But did you see what they've done? Do you see it!"
Qui-Gon was getting rather upset again and pointed his finger
to the "Episode I" pictures.
The younger Jedi's eyes grew large again and he felt a bubble
of laughter rise from his toes. There under his Master's
picture, the caption read: 'Wise (no-fun) Jedi mentor Qui-Gon
Jinn' Then there next to his Master's picture was a picture of
old Obi-Wan that read: 'Wise (but fun) Jedi mentor
Obi-Wan Kenobi'. Unable to suppress the laughter any longer,
the young Jedi fell to the ground clutching his sides.
"Ha, Ha, Ha, Padawan. Or shall I just call you 'Brash young
Jedi/heartthrob Obi-Wan Kenobi' now?" Qui-Gon questioned.
Calming down a bit, Obi-Wan stood and stroked Qui-Gon's back
lovingly. "It's not that bad, Master." then with a devilish
look and a pinch to a firm butt cheek, he added "I think you're
very fun!"
Qui-Gon smiled and pulled Obi-Wan to him for a quick kiss.
"Sure, I'm going to take some teasing for the 'no-fun' thing
with the other Jedi, but that's not what bothers me so much."
He told his beloved.
"What ever could it be then, Master?" Obi-Wan asked curiously.
"There's no red line!" Qui-Gon answered sounding very irritated
then added vehemently, "I mean look, no red line at all, just
the green 'Trains in the Way of the Force' line!"
"Red line? What's a red line?" Obi-Wan asked now totally
confused.
"Romantic Connection. A red line is for romantic connection and
we have no red line!" Qui-Gon was getting all upset again. "I
mean, look at the big 'ol red line between Leia and Han. They
give them a red line, but us...do we get a red line? No! No
line at all. Can't these people see anything? Can't they tell
that we're 'romantic'?"
Feeling a little perturbed himself over the lack of a red line,
but wanting more then anything to calm his beloved Master down,
Obi-Wan kissed him gently.
"Not everyone is wise with the ways of the Force Master."
Obi-Wan said as the kiss broke. Then he grabbed the TV Guide
and headed over to the desk. After a few minutes of rummaging
through the drawer he returned with the TV Guide in hand and
handed it back to Qui-Gon.
A large smile lit Qui-Gon's face when he looked at the page.
Obi-Wan had crossed off the 'no' in no-fun and had drawn a
very thick red line between their two pictures with a
magic marker.
Taking his Master's hand and drawing him towards the bed,
Obi-Wan quipped "No why don't you show me just how fun you can
be, Master..."
With a saucy grin, the elder Jedi replied, "With pleasure my
'brash young' Padawan, with pleasure..."
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