Master Apprentice Archive Treading Dangerous Ground Quick search:

Archive: MA, or ask me

Category: Q/O, angst, PWP, First time.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Spoilers for Jude Watson's "Secrets of the Jedi".

Summary: Jedi can't have relationships. Just casual sex.

Disclaimer: George's characters, not mine.

Feedback: Yes please

Note: Jude made Obi cry. She's happy to leave him in limbo. I'm not. Thank you, Bonny, for reading my mind again. Tweaks lead to gaffs. Gaffs are all mine.

I had most of the evening to myself for a change, a luxury that I intended to make the most of. I bathed and wrapped myself in my robe, collected an ancient book of poetry from the bottom of my travel pack and settled in the elegant armchair by the fireplace to read. Obi-Wan had left the banqueting hall with one of the young princesses and judging from the way she clutched at his arm and batted her pretty eyelashes at him, he wouldn't be returning to our quarters for some time. Possibly all night.

I sighed and poured a glass of ludicrously-expensive, full-bodied red wine from the crystal decanter on the side table. It was a considerable relief to know that my padawan was taking an interest in someone at last. The period of - well, yes, mourning had gone on long enough. It was many months since the terrible day when I had to crush the hope and love out of Obi-Wan. He had been so full of optimism, yet anxious, wanting my blessing on their newly-discovered love. Of course I had refused, and taking the side of the Order against them had been painful. But for the best as it was the only way. It was the only time I have seen Obi-Wan cry.

I downed the drink and poured another; a shameful way to treat such a wine.

The door opened, Obi-Wan marched in stony-faced, slammed the door and strode straight across the room to his bedchamber. That door banged shut behind him so hard that the tapestries hanging on the wall shook.

"Good evening, Obi-Wan," I whispered. I heard the sound of the shower in the fresher attached to his room. I put down my book and glass and waited the considerable time it took him to emerge. He must have been scrubbing himself raw.

Eventually, the shower stopped but the door between us remained closed. He was pacing up and down inside his room - virtually silently, but I couldn't help but be aware. Nothing for it, I rose and tapped on the carved wood and pushed the door open a little. "Padawan?"

"Good night, Master," he said with finality, but I could hear the pain there.

"Obi-Wan, may I come in?" He didn't answer, so with no negative I opened the door further and stepped into the room.

He stopped his pacing and sat heavily on the end of the bed. He wore his sleep clothes, hair still damp, and bowed his head to stare at the thick carpet between his feet. His hands were clasped tightly in his lap and I knew he was working to keep them from wringing.

"What happened?" I asked. I couldn't think what terrible event could have produced such a reaction. My quiet, proper padawan never let his emotions get the better of him in this way. He hadn't shown such emotion since... Siri.

"Nothing," he snapped. "Nothing happened." He rose again and stalked to the window, pulling back the tasselled curtain to stare out, though nothing but his reflection was visible.

A horrible thought snaked its way into my mind. Had he tried to have sex with the girl and she had refused? Had she been leading him on? Just how far had he pushed her?

My thoughts were split between shame for thinking such a thing of my Obi-Wan and calm planning to defuse the damaging political situation if what I suspected was true. And just how was I going to ask Obi-Wan if he had attempted to rape the girl?

"She's a slut!" I blinked at his outburst. He spun around to face me and continued, "All she wanted was sex, Master! She practically..." He stopped and shuddered. "I feel so... dirty!"

All she wanted? I felt relieved laughter bubbling up and ruthlessly suppressed it. "She is very attractive, Obi-Wan. I thought when you left the banquet with her..."

"Yes. She thought so too."

"Come here, Padawan." I patted the bed next to where I was sitting. "Sit down and tell me." His anger had dissipated now and he sagged down next to me, a picture of abject misery. I waited patiently until he was ready to talk.

"You're right, Master. She is very pretty. And she's bright and intelligent too. We walked in the garden for a while, which was nice. Then she kissed me. Well, alright I kissed her too, but... Then she tried to get me to go to her chambers. She... groped me, Master!"

Trying hard to determine just what Obi-Wan found so offensive about the princess's behaviour, I merely nodded to encourage him to carry on.

"She expected me to go with her and have sex! I mean, we've hardly been introduced!"

This time I did laugh. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan but if all you padawans required lengthy introductions before having sex with someone, there would a lot of very old virgins in the Order."

I expected him to see the humour. But the look on his face stopped me short: horrified and hurt. Then the hurt was replaced by shame and it was my turn to be horrified as I saw the blush stain his face before he turned away from me. Very diplomatic, Jinn, I chastised myself. I should have known.

The laughter died on my lips and I continued quietly: "Have you never slept with anyone, Obi-Wan? Not Siri?" He winced slightly. "Any of your friends at the temple?"

He slowly shook his head but wouldn't look at me. "I always thought it should be someone special. Siri and I... When we realised how we felt, it just didn't happen because..." He shrugged. "It wasn't allowed."

"You're right. You meant too much to each other and it would have been inappropriate to continue. Dangerous." I couldn't stop my thoughts returning to Tahl. Yes, there would have been danger there too, but we never had to make the decision that Obi-Wan and Siri had been forced to make. I reached to take his hands in mine. "But you have many friends among your age-mates. There is nothing wrong in finding relief with those you know well and respect." I paused awaiting his reaction. "You've had offers?"

A nod. At last he turned to face me. "But Master, they're just friends, colleagues. Of course I like them, respect them; I would die for them! But I've never wanted to give myself to anyone that I didn't..." His voice trailed off.

"Love?" I finished for him and the sigh he released seemed to deflate him even further. I slipped one arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. We sat like that for a few minutes, each lost in thought. It was time to sleep, and I really wished I could say something to help him before we retired. Don't worry, you'll find someone would be a useless lie. We both knew that if he did, it would have to end.

"Do you know what it's like to walk around with an empty space inside?" he asked, his voice little more than a whisper. I could have told him yes, I do. But I kept silent and let him talk. "Master?" he eventually continued in the same quiet voice. "Would you? I mean... could we?" Was he suggesting what I thought he was suggesting? I stiffened and moved away from him, standing to leave. He stood too and reached to take both my hands in his. "I trust you. You know I do, you've been my world for many years. I respect you as my teacher, my friend, my family. And you care for me, don't you?"

"Of course I care for you, Obi-Wan. That's why this wouldn't be right. We are too close."

He moved closer and his hands slid up my arms to rest on my shoulders. "But you said it. There's nothing wrong with finding relief with a friend."

"And I also said it would be dangerous to form such a close relationship with someone who meant a lot to you. Do you remember what Master Yoda told you?"

"I remember every second of that day." The bitterness in his voice broke my heart. "He said he wouldn't change the rules for me." Obi-Wan straightened. Squared his shoulders. "But this is different! I am not in love with you. You aren't in love with me. "

The hope in his eyes was almost painful. I couldn't find it in myself to destroy it. Still, I said: "I am your master. It would be wrong."

"Why? How could it be wrong? Just... have sex with me. That's all. Friends."

I tried a different tack. "You've never been attracted to men before. You've only ever shown an interest in females."

"That's not really true, Master. I have... wondered." He obviously knew that I'd had liaisons with men; little escaped Obi-Wan's notice. "But you could teach me. You could be my first." His lithe body was hot and aroused against mine.

"Be careful, Padawan. You are treading dangerous ground here. If this gets out of control..."

"It won't! We know each other so well. We can maintain limits. Please, Master. Do I have to beg you? Please be my first. Teach me in this."

He reached to kiss me and I was lost. My proper padawan, reserved, even prim, supposedly innocent in the ways of sex, could kiss like a pleasure boy. Before I had time to wonder where he had learnt that skill, he was pulling me to him and tugging at my robe to find skin, desperate and needy. "Slowly, slowly, Obi-Wan. There's no need to rush."

He tilted his head to one side and scanned my face, a hand sliding down my chest, over my stomach. "But you seem to be needy too, Master." He smiled and was transformed into the pleasure boy, an incitement to lust. It had been far too long for me, and I wanted that kiss again.

We tumbled together onto the bed, our hands roving over each other's body, getting to know familiar flesh in such an unfamiliar way. The few clothes we wore were soon discarded. I actually tore his pants as I pulled them off his body, so eager to see, touch, taste, claim, and he laughed in delight at my enthusiasm.

He broke away from a kiss to gasp: "You must have something... Don't we need... lubrication? So you can do it?"

I was on top of him, my arms around him, his nails digging into my back. "No."

His eyes widened in shock. "But... Why? I thought we... Don't you want me?"

I reached to stroked his cheek reassuringly and kiss him again, and his eyes closed and his hips thrust under mine. "Of course I want you." I ground myself against him. "You are right, my Obi-Wan. We need "something". But so you can do it."

He pulled back to look at me in amazement. "I could? You would let me... do that? But you are the master!"

"Not in this, Obi-Wan. Never in this. And for your first time, you should be the one to penetrate." That caused a large reflexive jerk of his hips and he groaned.

"I don't think I could. I mean, I'm ready now."

I kissed his cheek gently, calming him, stroking his face. "I'm ready too." I rolled off him and stood, walking to my bedroom intending to fetch the massage oil I knew was in my travel pack stowed under my bed. I turned for a moment in the doorway and looked back at him lying on the bed. I have never seen him look more beautiful. Pale skin against creamy septsilk sheets, face flushed, limbs spread and tense. When he saw me look, he moved his hand to cover himself and lowered his eyes shyly for a moment. Then his eyes met my mine again and the hand over his cock curled and stroked.

I almost ran to my room and back.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I unstoppered the lightly-fragranced oil and poured a good measure on my hand. He was staring at me with intense concentration as he did whenever I taught him a new lesson. I reached out to him and drizzled the oil over his straining cock.

He gasped and his head flopped back, his back arched and he thrust up into my waiting hand. Panting, he said: "Should I prepare you, Master?"

I chuckled. "I told you. Not Master here. My name, Obi-Wan."

"Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon. Oooh, Qui-Gon."

I was teasing him gently with my hand,. He was close enough to come quickly if I did anything other than touch him with the slightest pressure. "No. There's no real need to "prepare" me. Plenty of oil, and I am very ready. Wait." I lay beside him on my back. "Now. You kneel between my legs." The bed bounced as he complied. I spread myself for him and he really needed no words to tell him what to do. "Control, Obi-Wan. Breathe. Take control."

He took a deep shuddering breath, then another before his training took over. Superbly conditioned from shortly after birth to control his body in whatever he was doing, he moved forward on his knees until he was pressing against me. He raised my legs with his arms, closed his eyes, then pushed. It had been many years since I was last taken by a man, but I well remembered how to relax myself and loosen the passage for him so that he could slide into me easily. And I didn't remember it ever being so good. Obi-Wan was careful, gentle, even though I knew he must be desperate to pound into me. As soon as he was as far inside as possible, he paused and waited, panting. He opened his eyes. "Oh Force, Qui-Gon. It's... Oh Qui-Gon."

"Do it. Now."

He let go. He pulled away and slammed back into me, over and over, and I reached to pump myself in time with him. Even in the throes of passion, my Obi-Wan was mindful of my desires. A slight change of angle and he was pressing on my prostate with every thrust sending delicious sparks of pleasure through me. He came first, his rhythm lost as his orgasm took him, his groan a low guttural noise coming from deep inside his throat. The sight of him lost in pleasure, and the feeling of him inside me, and my hand on my cock made me follow his climax with my own.

We collapsed against each other, a sweaty sticky panting pair. I believe he was asleep, his cock softening within me, even before I rolled him over to lie at my side, though he grasped at my hand and murmured softly before stilling. I had intended to fetch a washcloth from the fresher, but instead pulled the bed covers over us with a small touch of the Force. We could clean up in the morning.

Every day since we arrived, first thing in the morning, a serving girl had brought breakfast to our rooms on a tray. After the first couple of mornings, she merely tapped on the door and walked in. We were usually going through the documents getting ready for the day's meetings or keeping limber with stretching exercises in the sunshine on the balcony. This morning, I heard her enter. She stopped, obviously surprised at the darkness. Soon I heard the sound of the metal rings on curtain rail and brilliant sunshine flooded the sitting room. The connecting door had been left open and the light poured into Obi-Wan's chamber where we lay tangled on the large bed. I smiled as the girl quietly left, imagining what she would be telling her friends about the lazy lay-abed Jedi.

Obi-Wan stirred and was awake instantly, smiling and reaching to caress my face. He rose smoothly from the bed leaving me envious of young joints, and padded naked to the fresher. I sighed and rose too, a lot less smoothly, and walked slowly to my own bedchamber and through to my fresher. The unaccustomed exercise that had stiffened my muscles and an exquisite soreness served as reminders of the night's activities. After relieving myself, I heard him in his shower.

The thought of him relaxed and happy as he first woke this morning tugged at my heart afresh. Was I now supposed to quash that happiness? Should I remind him that we were Jedi and therefore expected to deny ourselves what other beings take for granted? And what of myself? Could I continue to lie to myself and say we were just friends? We are not "in love", he had said. No, not yet. Treading dangerous ground, I had warned him. Such a path would be treacherous. And we would both fall.

Nevertheless, I walked back to his bedchamber and into the fresher. I stepped into the shower with him and we were lost again.