Master Apprentice Archive Tit for Tat Quick search:

Archive: M-A, yes

Category: Humor

Rating: PG-13

Sequel: Sequel to Sweet, Sweet Revenge

Summary: Qui-Gon's attempt to pay back his padawan backfires.

"Virgins taste better..." Obi-Wan repeated to himself as he covered his eyes and groaned. There was no way his master had just told him that virgins
taste better. He must have misheard. Yes, that was it. He had misheard. Surely, his rather staid master could not have said... that.

Even as Obi-Wan forced himself from the bed, he refused to believe what his ears had heard. Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks, a single thought taking root in his head.

What if is was true?

Qui-Gon stood in the kitchen, preparing the morning meal. He smiled when he heard the door to his padawan's room open. He had thought perhaps he had taken his teasing a bit too far. After all, Obi-Wan was just coming into his sexuality. The last thing the young man needed was for his master to make him self-conscious about it.

"Good morning, Master," Obi-Wan called from the common room. Qui-Gon noted the voice seemed a bit distracted and made a mental note to find out what was on the boy's mind.

"Good morning, Obi-Wan," he called back as he continued getting their breakfast ready. "Breakfast is ready. Come join me."

Qui-Gon sat down at their small table and began to eat. He watched his apprentice closely as the boy joined him. It was apparent as Obi-Wan pushed
the food around on his plate that something was bothering him. Qui-Gon kicked himself for his earlier actions. He only meant to tease the lad, not upset him like this.

"Is something on your mind, padawan?" he asked as gently as he could.

"Master..." Obi-Wan began only to lapse into silence once more.

"Obi-Wan, while I am your master, I also like to think of myself as your friend," Qui-Gon said softy. "You know you can come to me with anything and I will do my utmost to help you."

"I know, Master," Obi-Wan said as he laid his fork down, the pretense of eating forgotten. "And you are my friend."

"Then come, let us go into the other room and talk, friend to friend."

Qui-Gon sat down on the couch and waited for Obi-Wan to follow. He watched as the young man took a deep breath then pushed himself away from the table. He waited until Obi-Wan was seated beside him before speaking.

"Tell me what it is that troubles you, my padawan," he urged carefully.

"It's... it's something you said this morning, Master," Obi-Wan began, his face flushing as he remembered his master's words.

"I am truly sorry if something I said upset you," Qui-Gon said. "That was never my intent."

"It didn't really upset me, Master," Obi-Wan replied. "But it did... confuse... me a bit."

"What did?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Well... it, um, it was... it was your... your remarkaboutvirginstastingbetter," Obi-Wan said in a rush, his face turning even redder.

"Pardon me?" Qui-Gon said, not quite believing what he was hearing. Surely his padawan knew he was teasing. But then again, why would he? He was just a boy experiencing his first sexual relationship. How could he possibly know if there was a difference or not?

"I mean... how does the taste differ?" Obi-Wan went on. Now that he had started, the questions just seemed to pour out of him. "What exactly do
non-virgins taste like? Do they taste bad? Can you tell if someone's a virgin by the way they taste? What if you don't like the way non-virgins
taste? What then? Do you go around looking for only virgins? But then after you've been with them, they aren't virgins anymore. So then what?"

Obi-Wan turned hopeful blue eyes up to his master. Surely his master would have the answers to this dilemma. Obi-Wan just hoped they were the answers he wanted to hear.

Qui-Gon sat and stared at his apprentice. Once again the tables had been turned on him by this child. If he were not so completely at a loss, he was sure he would find this funny. As it was, he could feel an ache beginning just behind his yes. He reached up to rub the bridge of his nose as he
thought of what to say to the young man before him.

"Obi-Wan," he began after a moment. "I am sorry if I misled you. I was only teasing you. There is no difference in the taste of virgins versus non-virgins."

"But how do you know?" Obi-Wan asked, not willing to let it go at that.

"Do you really need to ask that, padawan?" Qui-Gon said, as his head began to pound in earnest.

"But how can you be sure?" Obi-Wan persisted. "I know individuals taste different. But you would have to taste a virgin and then taste that same
person as a non-virgin to know if there was a difference. Wouldn't you?"

"I... suppose," Qui-Gon said warily. When Obi-Wan began to use logic on him, he knew he was in trouble.

"So have you?"

"Have I what?" Qui-Gon stalled.

"Have you tasted a virgin, then tasted them as a non-virgin?" the young man asked bluntly.

"While I am not sure that this is actually information you need, the answer is yes, my padawan, I have."

"And..." Obi-Wan pushed expectantly.

"And what?"

"Did they taste better as a virgin or a non-virgin?" came the exasperated reply.

"They tasted exactly the same," Qui-Gon answered.

"Are you sure you're remembering right?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice skeptical. "I mean, it must have been a really long time ago."

"Thank you, my padawan, but I am not so old as to have forgotten what it tastes like," Qui-Gon said drolly. "Besides, if you really want proof, you can always go and taste Trevor again and see if there's a difference."

"That's it!" Obi-Wan shouted triumphantly. "Thank you, Master."

"You are welcome, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied, glad to be rid of this particular conversation. "Now perhaps we could begin your lessons for the
day."

As Obi-Wan went to retrieve his lesson material, Qui-Gon breathed a sigh of relief. One more conversational minefield successfully navigated. Though, for some odd reason, he had a feeling this was going to come back to bite him on the ass.

END.