Master Apprentice
Archive
Tiff
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It was the sound of furniture hitting the floor that convinced Obi-Wan that hovering outside his own front door was not the most prudent course of action.
He'd done his best to be the kind and indulgent Master, and had spent the best part of the afternoon tightly shielded so as not to invade upon his adolescent Padawan's privacy. After all, it was not every day that one had a date with the recently-appointed Senator of Naboo, the erstwhile Queen Padmé Amidala, and it would be a poor Jedi Master indeed who did not have an inkling of what his Padawan of ten years standing felt about the beautiful young politician.
But he did draw the line at throwing furniture. Surely Anakin had better manners than to throw his childhood sweetheart to the floor and ravish her – on their first proper date in ten years? Obi-Wan shook his head. He had never claimed to truly understand the ways of the straight, but damn it, Anakin had better understand the ways of the Jedi, and subtlety in matters sexual was a trait a Jedi should be proud of. Look how long it's taken me to get Qui-Gon in the sack with me, and not even Jinn had noticed... for a very very long time...
It was no good. He was going in there.
Keying the door open, Obi-Wan was not at all surprised at the complete lack of greeting. He couldn't see either Anakin's or Padmé's faces, which wasn't surprising either... what was surprising though, was that they were not, apparently, locked in a passionate kiss.
From what he could see, Padmé had her teeth sunk in Anakin's left wrist, and try as he may, the young Jedi could not extricate himself without drawing blood. His fingers clenched uselessly, trying to get a purchase on the fair one's face, contorted in a grimace of cold fury. Padmé was a ferocious little fighter, and amazingly quite capable of withstanding Anakin's Force-assisted assault.
How sweet. If these two were to ever have babies, chances were that they wouldn't ever be let out of the Temple to be mundanes. They'd probably be running the Council within ten years. He shuddered slightly at the thought. Padmé's tenacity and Anakin's stubbornness... let me put it that way, he thought. If their lovers' tiffs look like this, their combined rage would be world-straddling.
Right now, Padmé was straddling Anakin's waist, grinning down at him with gritted teeth, still buried in Anakin's sinewy wrist. Panting, the Padawan fixed her with a deadly glare, hissing, "He doesn't even like girls, and you know it!". With a roar of impotent rage, the girl backhanded Anakin across the face, holding on to his braid for purchase, making the young man yelp in pain. Of course she'd had to let go of the boy's hand for this, and Anakin pressed his advantage by burying both hands in her luxuriant tresses and yanking hard.
"Padawan-?"
No reply. Of course not.
Padmé yelled, rearing up and ramming one delicate knee into the young man's belly, punctuating the stunned sickened silence from a green-faced Anakin with the crystal-clear sound of her most regal voice. "And what would you know about that, you pervert? He is mine, mine, mine, mine!!"
Aaah. Obi-Wan leaned against the doorframe, resigned to watching. A little jealousy among the young lovebirds, was it? Anakin having to dispose of a crush on Padmé's part in order to get what he wanted? Actually, judging from the full-contact battle currently raging across his living-room floor, Obi-Wan surmised that neither of the two minded the immediate bodily proximity of the other. In fact, they seemed to relish it somewhat... what an awesome couple they would make. In their own quarters, he added silently, surveying the state of the chairs they'd knocked over just prior to his so far unnoticed appearance on the scene.
Come on, Anakin, he thought. You've got her where you want her. On the floor, hair all dishevelled and streaming down her exposed milky shoulders like a mad chocolate river, dress all torn, the Senator's tiny boobs peeking through in what he assumed must be an enticing fashion. Of course, the girl had had her wicked way with Anakin's clothes too. Damn Jedi gear was just too easy to get off, and young Padmé had to be seriously infatuated with whoever this third boy was to not take advantage of the way Anakin's pouting nipples were exposed...
Or else she was a royal tease. Yes, she probably was.
Obi-Wan was just about to leave the two lovebirds to their little fight when he overheard his Padawan's voice, whispering menacingly into the young Senator's ear. "Yours in the next life, dear. Never forget that I have been bonded to him for ten years...," -- "Yeah? And what exactly have you achieved, kiddo? Ten years and not even a kiss, huh? He'll be eating me whole in just a few days, just you mark my words--" A grunt of pain cut her regal voice short as Anakin jabbed a hostile elbow into her exposed ribs, driving his point home with every syllable.
"Obi-Wan-is-mine!!"
Suddenly grateful for his undiscovered state, said Obi-Wan quietly slipped outside the door, releasing the gasp of horror he'd held for what seemed like an eternity. He had a feeling history was about to play a very cruel joke on him.
He had a very, very bad feeling about this.
---The End---