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Those Who Are Free

by Tally (tally_s_sin@hotmail.com)

PROLOGUE

"It is over, let it go." With that Obi-Wan Kenobi left Naboo, leaving his heart behind. Qui-Gon Jinn watched him leave with the outward serenity of a Jedi, but with the inner turmoil of a man.

The darkness swept around him, like a hunter, closing in. The wind pulled at his hair and tugged at his cloak. Soon, soon he would be back where he belonged. Just one more mission before he would be ready to go home. He could no longer run; the time had come for him to confront that which he had hidden from for three years.

He wondered if he could be forgiven for what he had done years ago. He had left him, standing there, after opening his heart. Finally Qui-Gon had admitted his love just when he could not accept it. Things had changed and not just for the apprentice; for all of them.

For three years he had been tracking the Darkness that he and his Master has fought with on Naboo. He had gone from mission to mission without rest and now the Council said it was time to come home. It was not his place to argue with the wisest of the Jedi and he knew that Yoda felt it was time he resolved what lay between Qui-Gon and him.

Obi-Wan often wondered if his Master was proud of him or if he thought of him at all. The knight did not believe so; after all Qui-Gon Jinn had the Chosen One to train.

After defeating the Sith, Obi-Wan had been sent out into the stars to find the Sith and protect the Jedi from it. Years had passed and now he was coming home. A Jedi can only spend so much time away from his own, since leaving Naboo Obi-Wan had only spoken to the Jedi on the council and even that was not in person.

The Knight wondered if enough had happened, that what he has always wished for was now possible, and if what Qui-Gon had asked for was his to give. He would know soon, because not too long from now he would be on a ship headed for Coruscant.

THOSE WHO ARE FREE

"He has returned."

The council was the first to know. Repeatedly they had asked the young Knight to return, although they never forced the issue, knowing the reason for his absence. After the first year had passed they stopped asking after every mission. Since then, they had asked once a year on the anniversary of his departure, of his knighthood, or when he had saved his Master's life. This year had been no different; they asked and on the eve of the anniversary of the Battle for Naboo, Obi-Wan Kenobi came home, back to the Temple and back to the Jedi.

"Does Qui-Gon know?"

"Not yet," Mace said. "But I shall go and tell him in person."

"What of the boy?"

"React well to this, he will not." Yoda's words rang with foreboding. "Lived in the shadow of Xanatos Obi-Wan did, live in the Light of Obi-Wan Anakin does. How he will feel to be confronted by his predecessor, say I cannot."

"Skywalker knows the stories of Obi-Wan then?"

Yoda chuckled.

"Who does not?"

Qui-Gon Jinn had been a legend within the halls of the Temple for years; firstly as a skilled field agent and then later as a rebel who resisted the Council's wishes. As his apprentice, Obi-Wan had shared in the legend, but after Naboo when the Padawan had defeated a Sith warrior and saved the Master's life, his own legend grew. For three years Obi-Wan had been the Jedi who actively hunted the Sith, who refused the Council's requests to return and who had become a hero to the younger knights. His parting from his Master had become shrouded in myth. There were many stories; some believed the Chosen One was a replacement, others thought that the close bond that the Master-Apprentice team had supposedly shared had not been so close after all, there were rumours of an argument that could not be settled. Gossip grew and only the Council knew the truth.

"Should we interfere?"

Yoda's ears dropped and his shoulders slumped as he looked within the Force for an answer.

"Do nothing we can. Their paths chosen for them, they are. The Force led to their parting, wait is all we can do and see what it intends. Followed the Force Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan always have, follow it now also they will."

"He has returned."

Words both feared and anticipated for three years. He was back within the Temple walls, not a fleeting stop between missions, but to remain for sometime to rest and recover, to teach and to learn.

"He is here."

Qui-Gon had not seen Obi-Wan in three years, not since Naboo when he rejected his companion of ten years for a young boy he believed to be the Chosen One. The Jedi Master did not regret taking the slave boy of Tatooine as his apprentice, he was however sorry for the hurt he had caused his friend.

"What will you do?"

Qui-Gon looked at Mace Windu, his friend and colleague.

"What can I do?" After defeating the Sith warrior, the council had raised his apprentice to Knight. To face off against the dark warrior while his Master lay dying and not turn to the power of the Dark side was considered a worthy trial. Obi-Wan Kenobi had the soul of a Jedi Knight and had been sent out into the galaxy as one. For three years he had not returned home, journeying from mission to mission with no rest. Three years since the Master and Knight had seen each other.

"I let him go, Mace." While it was true that Obi-Wan had been the one to do the leaving, Qui-Gon had not given him reason to stay, indeed Obi-Wan had made it easy for him to push him away, telling him he had responsibilities to Anakin. Obi-Wan did not remind Qui-Gon of the responsibilities to Obi-Wan the Master had neglected, but Qui-Gon had seen in the younger man's eyes the pain of his rejection, not just as his apprentice, but also as a lover. The dreams they had shared had been shattered by the arrival of a young boy. Obi-Wan had turned and left not just Qui-Gon, but the planet. He went to the outer-rim where he was needed.

Qui-Gon had realised his mistake as his apprentice turned to leave. The dreams crashed back into him as well as the love. He had called him back, hoping it was not too late. The Force spoke of things that could still be. Obi-Wan had turned to look at him one final time and told him to let it go.

For three years he had tried. He taught and cared for Anakin and sometimes he was able to forget his Padawan with the dry wit and green eyes.

"What about Anakin?"

"I will go and tell him now."

"He has returned."

Anakin stood before his Master, almost not understanding what was being said. He remembered when, three years ago, he had found his new Master with tears in his eyes and in his hands a braid of hair. It was that moment he had come to hate Obi-Wan; that he had been able to hurt his Master so, that he could be so unfeeling to the one who had raised him, never knowing it was for him that Obi-Wan had left.

Anakin worked hard to help Qui-Gon forget his apprentice and he believed he had succeeded. But Obi-Wan had returned and undone all his hard work.

"I do not understand, Master. This doesn't effect us, does it?"

Qui-Gon gave Anakin a careful look.

"No, Padawan, but I thought you may like to see Obi-Wan again."

"Of course, Master. As would you." Anakin lied easily to his Master and hoped the Knight would leave quickly so that Qui-Gon's attention would not be so divided.

Obi-Wan stood in the cockpit at the pilot's left shoulder. Coruscant looked as it had ever done and the Temple remained unchanged. Dusk was already falling on the Temple and Obi-Wan found it almost a relief to know he would be able to retire to his rooms as soon as he had finished reporting to the Council: in person for a change. He wondered, briefly, if Mace would take his sarcasm as well face to face. A small smile escaped his control. It was good to be home, no mater how brief or long the visit may turn out to be.

"Good to see you it is, Knight Kenobi."

"Thank you, Master Yoda."

"How long will you be at the Temple?" another council member asked.

Most Jedi did not have much say in the length of time they were scheduled to teach, but Obi-Wan's assignment was so unlike any others.

"I do not know. I have unfinished business to deal with first. I have followed the Force's guidance here and will continue to do so."

"Qui-Gon is here." If Mace hoped to surprise a reaction out of the younger Jedi he was disappointed.

"Then I shall hope to see him." Obi-Wan bowed. "If you will excuse me, it has been a long journey and I need to meditate."

"Very well. May the Force be with you."

Qui-Gon rose to find his apprentice already dressed. The young man was eating his breakfast hurriedly.

"I wanted to go see Master Yu before practice today, Master. Will that be okay?"

"Of course, Padawan." Master Yu was the Temple's mechanic expert; he and Anakin had been working on a project for many cycles.

"Thanks." Anakin left the apartment in a flurry of robes.

His Padawan's youthful excitement usually invigorated Qui-Gon, but today it made him feel old. Seeing he had an hour before meeting Anakin in the training hall, he returned to his room to bathe and dress.

An hour later Qui-Gon walked the halls of the Temple on his way to meet his apprentice. It was here, when he least expected it, that he ran into a face from the past.

"Obi-Wan." he exclaimed.

"Master Jinn." Obi-Wan bowed low in respect. Qui-Gon looked at his old apprentice, feeling the distance between them. But Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan very well and deep within green eyes he saw the spark of amusement.

"That is enough of that young man, I will admit you played the dutiful Padawan very well, but no one would be fooled by the well behaved Knight act."

With his greeting Obi-Wan had once again given Qui-Gon the opportunity to push him away. He too could have greeted the Knight politely and they would have both gone on their way. This time he did not take the opportunity and his words were met by a full smile.

"I am sorry, Master Qui-Gon, but I couldn't resist. The 'perfect Padawan' followed in his Master's foot steps after all, it seems."

"Yes, and I could not be more proud."

Obi-Wan had not known the weight he carried had been so heavy; he had carried it so long he had become accustomed to it. Qui-Gon words removed it completely from his shoulders and suddenly it seemed easier to stand tall.

"Did I say something wrong?"

Obi-Wan cursed himself for allowing Qui-Gon to see his weakness.

"No. No." he insisted. "I am just very glad to see you well. How's Anakin?"

The mention of the boy who in many ways had come between them startled Qui-Gon, for a moment.

"He's fine, doing well in his studies."

"I'm glad." And Obi-Wan was, knowing what had been given up, had not been in vain.

The conversation stopped, both Jedi feeling awkward.

"Will you be at the Temple long?"

"I don't know. It depends..." Obi-Wan did not say on what; Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan's mission better than anyone. As they stood together uncomfortably, Qui-Gon felt Anakin over the bond.

'Master you are late,' came the amused voice.

'Apologies, Padawan. I lost track of time, I will be there shortly.'

Anakin's presence did not recede immediately as if the apprentice could sense his Master's unease.

Qui-Gon turned back to Obi-Wan and could have sworn he saw the other Jedi flinch. They had been so close once and Qui-Gon did not believe it was unreasonable to think that Obi-Wan had sensed Anakin's presence.

"I am late to meet Anakin."

"Then you should go." Obi-Wan said, almost sadly.

Qui-Gon would have left it there, but for the memories of a goodbye and a love that had consumed two souls.

"Come to dinner?" he blurted out.

"I'm sorry?"

"I said, come to dinner. I would like very much to talk to you, my Obi-Wan." If the Knight objected to the endearment he made no sign, instead he nodded.

"Alright, I will see you tonight, after evening bell."

"Good morning to you then, Obi-Wan."

"And you too, Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon smiled to hear his old apprentice say his name before hurrying down the corridor to meet his impatient apprentice.

The training exercise with Anakin had gone well, despite his Padawan's frustration for being kept waiting. Anakin was progressing and although he had yet to catch up with his age mates, his skills with the Lightsabre were considerable. But being a Jedi was more than knowing how to fight and Qui-Gon despaired at ever teaching Anakin diplomacy. It seemed the Master was cursed to have apprentices who, while gifted, did not enjoy diplomatic lessons.

Anakin liked mechanics, Obi-Wan had always preferred astrophysics and maths and Xanatos, well who could say what he preferred, but it certainly had not been peace. All Jedi were different, however their mission objectives were the same: to maintain peace and protect the innocent.

'Except Obi-Wan,' a small part of Qui-Gon's mind whispered. Obi-Wan's standing orders were quite different.

'To find the Sith and root out its dark influences.' Obi-Wan was in a one-man war with a darkness they both encountered three years ago.

Qui-Gon sat in the stands surrounding the main practice hall. It was the oldest part of the Temple and use to be a show arena, which was still used for the Jedi annual competitions. Jedi gathered on the stands to meet, talk, watch and relax. It was a place for socialising. Qui-Gon waited for Anakin, watching the Jedi still training below.

On the far side there was a class of initiates with practice 'Sabres being led by Yoda in a guidance exercise. Numerous Masters with their apprentices of different ages and abilities, Knights and Masters on their own and together, all trained on the arena floor. There were so many, but it was one figure warming up that drew Qui-Gon's attention.

He was dressed in light leggings with no boots or tunics. Long auburn hair glittered in the light. Muscles toned from years of physical activity glistened with sweat. In his hand a blue Lightsabre sprang to life.

Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan began his practice.

Obi-Wan's head was bowed slightly forward. He held his Lightsabre in two hands, hilt close to his body, the blade up and outwards. More moments he stood as still as granite until he began the first positions of the Transitional Kata, one Qui-Gon had not taught him during his apprenticeship, but remembered Obi-Wan's awe when he had seen it performed.

Slowly, gracefully, Obi-Wan's right hand extended and twisted his wrist until he held his blade horizontal. His left hand reached outward. He continued moving slowly until his arms were crossed over his chest, blade almost touching his cheek and shoulder and then, suddenly, in a way that no other Kata developed, the Transitional Kata changed into a lightning fast dance. In an instant the performer went from slow to fast, from peace to battle.

Obi-Wan flew into the moves, moving beyond normal human endurance, that created a dance that followed the patterns of a duel fought a millennia ago, by a Jedi whose name had cease to be known by the living.

It was truly spectacular and as Qui-Gon watched him perform it for the first time, he saw no flaw in the work of moving art. This Kata matched Obi-Wan's character and style so well that he flowed into it seamlessly. No wonder he had been entranced by it as a child. It spoke to him, it was his centre, and it was the Kata that brought him peace. All Jedi have such a Kata, trust Obi-Wan to pick such a violent one and yet some-how find calm within it and stillness at its centre.

As Obi-Wan continued, Qui-Gon realised that he was not the only one drawn to the sight. The Force danced around the arena as a Jedi fully in tune with the Light revelled in its majesty and found himself some measure of peace in a troubled galaxy.

The physical technique was perfect, as Qui-Gon knew it would be, but some where along the way, between Naboo and then, Obi-Wan had learnt the value of the moment. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.

Anakin was also among those who watched as Knight Kenobi practiced, but unlike the other Jedi, he watched with jealousy. He too, felt the Force move around him although he felt it like no other in the arena. Within it he felt no darkness, no taint, just the Light responding to one of its own.

'How can one who's touched the Dark side remain so pure?'

He saw his Master, who sat on the stands, rapt in the performance of his previous Padawan. The love and light were almost blinding to him when they combined with the attentions of his Master. None of the shadow which touched him and that which he felt within the Force was around Obi-Wan, nor between the Knight and Qui-Gon. Theirs was such unveiled love; true, rare and incorruptible. It was the kind of love that only existed in holos or in the stories his mother use to tell him at nightfall.

Anakin could not understand it. He was the Chosen One; he was Qui-Gon's apprentice and the one most deserving of his attention. Anakin felt his anger grow with his jealousy and he knew he must act before the unthinkable happened, before the soul bond that so obviously lay between them was allowed to be completed.

"Master Qui-Gon. We should go." Anakin said to his Master as he approached him.

"In a moment, Ani."

"But I am ready now."

Qui-Gon looked at him for the first time since he had joined him on the stands.

"Are you alright, Padawan?"

"Yes, of course Master." Anakin floundered as he tried to think of a reason to leave, for both of them to leave. "I am merely anxious about my exam tomorrow and you did promise me you would take me though the theories if I was having difficulties."

"I though you were confident in your understanding."

"Yes, Master, but you have told me to ask for help when I need it instead of struggling on my own. I confess that I failed you when I told you that I was happy with my progress, a failure that I wish to rectify."

Qui-Gon looked at his student who had the most beseeching look on his young face and Qui-Gon did not have the heart to disappoint him by asking him to wait.

"Very well, lets go."

Anakin lead the way from the arena purposely avoiding the practice area so that Qui-Gon would be unable to speak to his old apprentice as they passed.

'Distance will prevent their love,'

Anakin thought, but he did not know what had gone before. He did not know that it was distance that allowed love to grow, he did not know that it had been unbearable closeness, years before, on a planet of paradise where darkness had invaded, that had destroyed its chance.

Qui-Gon knew he would not be able to prepare a lavish spread for Obi-Wan's visit, nor did he have time to make his favourite meal. Instead Qui-Gon put together a modest supper suitable for a Jedi. It was not grand, but it was nourishing and filling and he hoped for what the food lacked, the company would make up for.

He heard the door chime and called out to Anakin to let Obi-Wan in.

Anakin had looked up when he had heard the chime and grimaced when Qui-Gon asked him to answer it. It fell to him, therefore, to welcome Obi-Wan; something he was not keen to do. It was his home, not the knights any longer and he felt invaded just knowing that the great Obi-Wan Kenobi would be spending the evening within his sanctuary.

"Knight Kenobi," he said by way of greeting. "Come in."

"Thank you, Anakin. I trust you are well?" despite the use of his first name, Anakin felt the formality in Obi-Wan's manner.

"I'm well, and yourself?"

"I am fine. Thank you."

Anakin led the Knight into the common area, taking his robe from him as he went in. They entered in time to see Qui-Gon finishing setting the table.

"Obi-Wan," the Jedi Master said.

The meeting between the two older Jedi exuberated far more warmth that the one at the door.

"Qui-Gon." Knight Kenobi smiled, one Anakin cringed to see, his affection for his old Master was clear to see.

Qui-Gon saw the smile from Obi-Wan that he knew was only ever meant for him. He took his ex-Padawan into a warm embrace, both men savouring the feeling of being close again, finally after too many years.

"It is not a feast, my Obi-Wan, but it is meal."

"It looks wonderful, Qui-Gon."

The three Jedi sat down to their supper, indulging in polite conversation, all intently aware of each other, however for different reasons.

Anakin could see his Master wanted to be alone with Kenobi. He could also sense Obi-Wan's caution. Had the young Knight picked up on his negative thoughts when no one else had? Anakin did not believe he had or in fact was able, but he made a note to himself to be more careful in future.

Qui-Gon studied Obi-Wan, seeing his easy manner hampered a little by the awkward situation. Qui-Gon had not been blind to Anakin's jealousy and hoped to work it though with his apprentice later, when the time was less inappropriate.

And Obi-Wan studied his Master and how he had changed. He also saw Anakin and the darkness that lay there in, the same shadow he had sensed three years ago on Tatooine. He knew how this night would end, knew the reason the Force had brought him back into Qui-Gon's life. The Darkness grew and Anakin needed to be watched.

After the meal Anakin was dismissed.

"Master Yoda has offered you a bed for the night, Anakin." Qui-Gon told the boy. "He has some meditations he wishes to work though with you and Obi-Wan and I would like some time to catch up."

"Yes Master." Anakin's heart sank at the thought of leaving the two men together. "Good night, Master, Knight Kenobi."

He left and the two Jedi sat together for a while in silence.

"He's grown." Obi-Wan said after a time. "In more ways than one."

"Yes, he has."

"Qui-Gon, I do not like to interfere, but..."

"I already know what you're going to say." Qui-Gon cut him off. "I am not blind to his faults, Obi-Wan, but patience is necessary. He was a slave for most of his life."

Obi-Wan dipped his head to concede to Qui-Gon's unspoken wish to drop the subject.

They left the table to sit on the more comfortable sofa and chairs in the main living space.

"This place has not changed much." Obi-Wan observed as they sat down.

"No, although it is tidier now than before."

"I was not that messy." Obi-Wan defended himself, making Qui-Gon smile.

"Compared to Bant, maybe, but you did have a wonderful talent for creating chaos."

Mischief flashed in Obi-Wan's eyes.

"It is a talent I still poses," he said.

"And cultivate, from what I hear."

"It's my job, Qui-Gon. My mandate," the Knight said suddenly becoming serious. "to seek the Sith and their influence in the galaxy. I hunt the very darkness itself Qui-Gon."

"I have no doubt that you will succeed."

"Your optimism is appreciated, Master, but lately I have not been able to shake the feeling that it is no longer I who is the hunter. Since Naboo..." and here Obi-Wan ran out of words. The conversation they had both been avoiding had surfaced. "I fear the price may be too high."

'Let it go.'

Both men heard it in their memories, both were gripped by loss and grief as they remembered their last moments together, before the path set before them by the Force had led them apart.

"What happened, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon whispered. "What went wrong?"

"Life, Qui-Gon, life is what went wrong. And duty." Obi-Wan stood and went to the doors that led out onto the balcony. Qui-Gon sat in darkness as night had fallen and they had not turned on any of the lights. Obi-Wan gazed out over the magnificent panoramic view and spoke the reasons that should have been said three years ago.

"Duty, Qui-Gon. We parted ways because of our duty; to the order, to the galaxy and to a boy who deserved to be loved and have his dreams come true by becoming a Jedi Knight. Three years ago Qui-Gon, I remembered what that kind of dream felt like, I remembered when I was thirteen and you left me and I remembered my heartache. I could not inflict that upon a boy barely old enough to understand what it is that he asked. He did not know the sacrifices that would have to be made and I had no wish to punish him for that.

"When you rejected me in front of the Council Qui-Gon, I saw a future without you and I could not tolerate it, but later, when you lay dying in my arms I knew I could bare that future if you were at least in the galaxy, even if it meant our dreams were sacrificed. I let you go then, Qui-Gon, even as I tethered you to the world with my love. It could not be, our soul bond, it was not yet time, duty lay before us and so I followed the Force as I have ever done, as I was taught to do by you, even when it goes against my own desires or that of the Councils."

"You made the decision for us both, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gin said quietly, not wanting to interrupt the flow of sad truths that lay between them.

"I know." Obi-Wan half turned and in the light of passing traffic Qui-Gon saw tears in his eyes and on his cheeks. "I admit it was easier for me that way. It was the only way I could leave. You called me back and I knew if you spoke the words I would lose my resolve, so I told you to let it go, to let me go, to let our love go. Did you, Qui-Gon?"

"I tried, I tried very hard. But I could not. Every day I remembered your smile and the sound of your laugh. I remembered the way your mind felt when it was joined with mine and I craved your love more than ever and mourned our lost chance all the more."

Qui-Gon rose and went to stand behind Obi-Wan.

"We did our duty, did we not Obi-Wan?"

"Yes."

"So what now, why have you returned?"

"I confess I thought maybe time enough had past, that Anakin could stand my presence in your life. I thought maybe the Force would allow us this chance at happiness, but it seems not to be."

"You love me still though, do you not?"

"Yes, of course, but our lives are not our own, Qui-Gon. We belong to the world and the worlds out there who suffer at the hands of those who would do them harm for their own personal gain. And you, you belong to a boy who needs your love more than I."

Qui-Gon gathered his beloved into his arms and for a time they held each other, living in the moment that they had been given by the Force, a blessing, a chance to say goodbye.

"I love you, my Obi-Wan."

"And I you, my love."

There were not tears enough for the pain that was inflicted upon their hearts with the knowledge that their love must still go unfulfilled.

"I should go, my shuttle leaves in an hour and I must tell the Council of my departure." Obi-Wan said as he stepped away from the embrace, stepping away from the shared moment.

"You are leaving so soon?"

"I must. I have done what I came here to do; I have done as the Force commanded. We part again, Master, but on better terms this time I hope."

"Oh yes, and this time we shall not be strangers. I should very much like to see you from time to time and if you could send your old Master a note now and then I shall be content."

"I think I can manage that."

EPILOGUE

Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon alone in his apartment. The next day Anakin returned home to news that Knight Kenobi had returned to his search of the Sith and the Council realised the importance of the events. The days ahead would be dark indeed if the Force could not even allow the purest of loves to flourish, that it needed all its warriors out there, fighting in the galaxy.

And Obi-Wan Kenobi left Coruscant. He bade farewell to his love, but for reasons far more grave than he allowed Qui-Gon to believe. Yes it was true neither of them were free, yes duty to the order and the Force must come first, but Obi-Wan saw something that Qui-Gon could not. In a boy, rescued from slavery, he saw the end. He felt the shadow within Anakin Skywalker three years previously; he recognised it now as the same darkness as that which he sought. He knew the Force would lead him back to his Master and his Apprentice and he knew that Anakin Skywalker would not be saved.

Would Qui-Gon still love him if he took his Padawan from him, would Qui-Gon still want him if it is he who casts Anakin from the Order, would Qui-Gon even be able to look at him knowing he had been the one to cause Anakin's fall? Obi-Wan did not know, he did not know if their love could survive that, which was why he could not claim that love now. If he did, it may come to be irrevocably damaged and better to have a memory of an untainted love than one that ultimately led to the destruction of the one the love was held for and if the bond was completed, he did not know if in years to come if he would be able to do his duty and slay the darkness within.

So yes, he left Qui-Gon for duty, but it was a duty Qui-Gon did not know and one Obi-Wan hoped to spare him the knowledge of for as long a time as was possible. Jedi though he was, as he left Coruscant Obi-Wan Kenobi envied the worlds he protected and those who were free.

The End