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Disclaimers:  I own nothing, George has it all and gets the bucks, but I have more fun with them.  "The Highwayman" was written by Alfred Noyes
Category:  Poetry/Humour/Parody
Rating: NC17
Warnings:  seriously delusion parody poem...warning, Will Robinson, silly stuff ahead!
Spoilers:  none
Summary:  Parody of Alfred Noyes' "The Highwayman"
Feedback:  Oh yes please!!

The ship was a streak of darkness among the glist'ning stars
The moons were twin orbs glowing, one near, one very far
The approach was a twisted ribbon over the darkned towers
When the Jedi-Knight came flying , flying, flying,
The Jedi-Knight came flying, up to the Temple doors.

He'd a old brown cloak o'er his shoulders, pulled up to his bearded chin
He'd a pair of roughened tunics, and boots of bantha-skin
They fitted without a wrinkle, nearly 5 feet up to his thigh
and he flew like a spangled twinkle, his lightsabre a twinkle
His dark blue eyes a-twinkle,
Under the Coruscant skies.

Over the jeweled towers of the Temple at Coruscant
 To the Inner Sanctum walls, where none by the Order dare
He docked and tapped with a Force-touch but the place was locked and dark
He whistled three notes at a window and who was waiting there?
But the Jedi's sole prize love slave,  Obi-Wan, the Jedi's love-slave
Patiently braiding the love-braid,
Into his short red hair.

One fuck, my greedy sweetheart, I'm after a prize tonight
But I'll be back with the Chosen One before the morning light
Yet if they made it harder, and harry me thru the day
I'll promise to wait for you love, so watch for me when you come love
I'll come with you in the night love,
Tho' the Dark Side bar the way.

His cock rose up in his leggings, he scare could catch his breath
But the boy leaned out of the window and licked his way down his chest
With a Force-inducement to stay still, he welcomed the loving kiss
Then pushed his way in with a whisper, his cock and balls a-blister
and Obi came with a scream, while his Jedi came with a hiss.

He flew away to the west and wasn't there at dawn
He wasn't there at sunset and Obi suppressed a yawn
"I suppose I'll have to spread out for that slimy Palpatine!"
He shrugged and bathed in the moonlight
Washed and oiled in the moonlight
Smirked and squeaked in the moonlight
and moved like a starved sex fiend.
 
 
 
 

He didn't know that a clone-troop hastened to this place
He couldn't speak as Darth Maul shoved his dick into his face
The stormtroopers waited around him as his mouth went  raw & numb
That before the night was over, before the moon shone over
Before he'd coaxed them over
They'd all have had his bum.

He writhed and moaned in the moonlight, he sucked each cock in turn
He posed and pouted and whimpered until his skin was hot and burned
He took them all and they tumbled and he shrugged with a bored jest,
"That's what comes of fucking a Jedi,
A hard-hung, white-hot Jedi,
A hugely Masterful Jedi,
Keep up, they can't, the rest.

Oh ghods, Obi gasped with horror, I can't believe my ears
I'm talking like Master Yoda!!!   But no one heard his tears
UGGGHGGG Master he screamed in the moonlight
As his lean limbs shrivled and dried
And he turned quite green in the moonlight
shrank and shivered in the moonlight
Changed in the watchfull moonlight
And croaked along with the rest

Qui-Gon got a sickened feeling, deep within his gut
Oh shit my Master is in it, up to his puke green butt
He's fucked around with my Obi, and made him a slimy thing
And now I'll have to kiss him, kiss him
Kiss that greasy creater,
And ask him for a fuck

He turned with a Gaelic curse, his lightsabre weilded high
I'll get back at that fuckin' lepracaun and I'll shove this belly-high!!
But all he did when he landed, was root around in the swamp
Till he found his beloved Obi, his poor changed lover Obi
His green and yellow Obi, ribetting in the dark

Oh shit, the Jedi sighed looking down at the frog in his hand
I suppose I have to do this, but this is getting out of hand
Do you think, sweet Obi, you could find it inside you to be nice
And stop mass-screwing the Jedi, stop mass-screwing the Jedi
Or the Council, just pick one vice!!!
 
 

Croak croak whined the tiny frog nestled in his palm
As the Jedi leaned in closer he felt a kind of calm
"I love you my moron Padawan, but you know who taught you this
You're addicted to ancient creche tales,
Sex-crazed ancient creche tales
And I'll take it out of your own tail
Tomorrow at daylight."