Archive : Yes to Master and Apprentice, QGJDL, QJEB, OWEB,
SWAL
Category : AU, H/C
Pairing : Q/O and Torant Kenobi, Obi-Wan's younger brother.
Rating : G
Spoilers : A tiny bit of TPM
Summary : A second Kenobi has a crush on Qui-Gon.
Disclaimer : Far as I can see, Mr. G. Lucas, you own everything
and everyone in this story. But in the who owes who department,
things get a bit more complicated. In a nutshell, this is what
happened. You giveth us Qui-Gon, we owed you big, then you
taketh him by doing that unspeakable thing on TPM, and we have
to labour to bringeth him back with our stories, we are thus
even with thou. I am willing to leave it at that if you
will...............red alert, red alert, multiple lawyers
incoming at 2, 6, 8 and 11 o'clock, maximum shields, load
photon torpedoes, fire at will, fire at will..........
Declaration : I wrote and display this story absolutely for
free. (Does anyone seriously believe people would pay money for
this?).
Many many thanks : to Danni, Eshva, Irene for nudging me on
with helpful tidbits and life supporting encouragement. To
Rogue for telling me that a good writer should be proud of his
work (*sigh* easy for her to say, she's so good) and MOST
ESPECIALLY to Barbara for showering me with kindness and
support right from story #1 onward, without whom, I would have
run out of a reason to scrape on a long time ago.
Feedback : Oh yes, please, nothing makes me happier, well,
except waking up to Qui-Gon's stunningly handsome face.
Author's notes : No beta readers. All mistakes and
imperfections mine. **Characters' thoughts**. //
Mental conversation between Q and O//.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, your attention please. In a short
while, we'll commence our drop off from hyperspace. We're
currently 220 microns from Iaato. Weather conditions around the
Iaatra Spaceport are reported to be fine. Please straighten
your seats, stow your in flight hospitality gear and strap in
for the descent. On behalf of the crew, I hope you've had a
pleasant flight."
The cordial but clipped announcement from the captain brought
Obi-Wan out of his reverie.
He shifted his gaze back from the viewport, which he had been
looking out from with glazed eyes for the better part of the
flight, and closed his eyes.
Torant.
He's going to meet Torant again, after twelve years, at long
last, face to face. Not through some damn holoprojectors, but
seeing him in person, in flesh and blood, close enough to smell
and touch.
Torant. Obi-Wan's kid brother except that he's no longer a kid.
Four years Obi-Wan's junior, Torant was six when Obi-Wan was
taken to the Jedi Temple. That made him eighteen now. He had
recently left his home planet of Yuumin to pursue study at a
Tertiality on the nearby moon of Iaato.
A far cry from a kid, indeed. Yet somehow, Obi-Wan couldn't see
past that scrawny little boy who, on the day of their parting,
bawled loudly and caught Obi-Wan's hem with a dead grip
steadfastly refusing to let him go with the Jedi creche master.
It was a sight that was tattooed to Obi-Wan's memories.
And years worth of holoconversations hadn't changed that image
a bit.
Torant would always remain his teary-eyed kid brother.
At the thought, something nudged a soft spot in Obi-Wan's heart
and he allowed a fond smile to touch his face.
Force, did he miss Torant. Did he miss his family.
**Then why am I feeling nervous and uneasy. I hate this
queasy feeling. What's so worrisome about finally meeting my
favourite brother whom I haven't been with for twelve years. If
anything, I should be jumping with joy.**
But down deep, he did know why.
A little annoyed at his emotions that insisted on having a mind
of their own, Obi-Wan snapped open his eyes, glanced sidelong
and caught his Master and lover grinning down at him, amusement
filling his beautiful indigo eyes.
"Something bothering you, Padawan?" Qui-Gon's deep voice
rumbled.
" Who says......." an eyebrow arched, Obi-Wan opened his mouth
to protest but then knew better. There's just no cheating
around his sabre sharp Master. Besides, with this heart bond
forming between them...........
" Nothing gets past you, do they?" Deflated, Obi-Wan gave in
with a long sigh.
"Afraid not." Rather smugly. " Not when they have to do with
you. Now do you want to talk about it or should I just pretend
I haven't noticed a thing?" A question that has only one
correct answer.
"Haven't noticed a thing." Curtly.
"Obi-Wan."
"Alright, alright." Eyes lowered to the floor, Obi-Wan found
Qui-Gon's big callused hand and interlaced his fingers with
those long blunt ones of his Master's. Sea green eyes then
lifted to meet briefly with deep blue ones before turning
towards the viewport.
" It's just a little weird. I am supposed to be happy about
meeting Torant again after so long. Well, I am happy. I really
am. But there's more. I also feel nervous and uneasy. I tried
to put it down to reunion anxiety. But I guess deep down,
there's another reason. And that reason troubles me."
" Me." Qui-Gon said evenly.
Startled, Obi-Wan jerked around to stare at the older man, his
eyes gradually narrowing. Suddenly, a hand flew up from below
to thump the big Jedi Master on his shoulder.
"You big brute, you're just Mr He- Knows-All, aren't you? If I
don't love you so much, I'd hate you." Obi-Wan hissed with mock
outrage. Slightly out of line for a Padawan, but not for a
lover.
Chuckling, Qui-Gon draped a long muscular arm around his young
lover and gave him a few loving squeezes.
" I am sorry, Padawan. Didn't mean to needle you like that. But
let's talk about it. Don't hold it inside. I sense along our
bond that your unease is about me. How so?"
Obi-Wan suspected his clever Master had had it all figured out
but just wanted to hear him say it.
" Alright." Between a pout and a sigh, Obi-Wan said quietly.
" You know how my family is. I mean how they feel about the
Jedi. Mom has never gotten over it really. She thinks the Jedi
have taken me from her. She kind of preaches it to the rest of
the family like it's the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
That's how Lars-Owen, my elder brother, developed his aversion
to the Jedi as well. And that's how I've grown farther and
farther apart from them. As for Torant....,"
another sigh,
"Torant and I were extremely close when we're kids. We managed
to stay in touch all through my years at the Temple. But
lately, I can't help but sensing that he's increasingly torn
between Mom and me. He didn't say anything but I can figure out
as much. Mom doesn't like Torant to have anything to do with
the Jedi. And Torant wouldn't do anything to cross Mom. He
worships her. He's been like that ever since Mom and Dad
separated when we're young. He sort of feels indebted to Mom
for having single-handedly kept the family together, which is
true. I guess all those years of drumming hate and resentment
for the Jedi into his head by first Mom and then Lars as well
must have finally taken effect. Torant still cares deeply for
me but he is a little wary of my Jedi identity now. And what
bugs me is I'm not sure how he's going to take the fact that
I'm not only a Jedi but has heartbonded with another Jedi....."
Obi-Wan paused, a glint of dry humour touching his eyes as he
looked up into those of his lover's before going on,
" ......I am not sure how he would handle having a big,
towering, rugged and very handsome Jedi for a brother in law."
More chuckling and Qui-Gon returned, " if that's your worry,
think of it no further. He doesn't have to know. Just tell him
I am your Master, work partner and I am looking for some time
out on Iaato. You haven't lied. It's all true and no one feels
uncomfortable." The Jedi Master underpinned his words with a
shrug signaling that it was a non-issue as far as he's
concerned.
Under any other circumstances, this wouldn't have been an issue
for Obi-Wan indeed.. He would have had nothing of denying
Qui-Gon the recognition due him. He would have defended what's
rightfully his mate's with tooth and nail. But Torant was
extraordinary circumstances. He was Obi-Wan's favourite kid
brother, someone whom he hadn't been with for twelve long years
and deeply cared for , and who's his last tenuous link with the
Kenobi family.
And someone who's from a family that positively resented the
Jedi.
The reunion just meant too much. Obi-Wan was almost tentative
in approaching it, to the point of tiptoeing around it, not
wanting to jeopardize it if he could help it at all. The
circumstances did make the expediency of keeping quiet about
his relationship with Qui-Gon attractive.
Afterall, it's only for a week.
And Qui-Gon had already made it so easy for him.
"Is that a lesson in diplomacy or your solution to my problem,
Master?" Obi-Wan wise-cracked.
"Both." Languidly and with a smirk, Qui-Gon moved his lips to
send silently.
"I know that's unfair to you, Master. I wish I could make it up
to you. You're my bondmate. You have every right to demand
acknowledgement as such." Obi-Wan's voice softened with
emotions as he reached out with a hand to caress the bearded
cheek of his lover. He never got tired of touching that strong
square jaw of Qui-Gon's.
"Not if doing so causes distress to the person who has claimed
my heart and soul. It doesn't matter. I.DO. NOT. MATTER."
Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan in close and brushed a gentle kiss on
the top of the his head.
To say that Obi-Wan felt loved and treasured at that point
would be an understatement. For a man who could be pure ice and
steel when it came to matters of right and wrong, light and
dark and the greater good, Qui-Gon Jinn was astonishingly
pliable and sacrificial when what's at stake was his own
personal interests. It seemed as if the man didn't think
anything related to his possessions, status, physical and
mental well being was worth more than a dismissive shrug,
especially if it clashed with the good and needs of Obi-Wan.
It's that nobility in character and devotion to Obi-Wan that
made the Padawan admired and loved his big Master with
everything he had and more.
Obi-Wan suddenly found something warm stinging at the back of
his eyes and he had to hastily clear them by blinking fast.
"Qui-Gon, do you have any idea how very proud I am of having
you as my bondmate. How very fortunate and honoured I feel. I
only wish my family could share it with me. I want so badly for
them to be happy for me." Obi-Wan whispered against Qui-Gon's
broad chest, sadness tinting his voice.
" I know, love. The important thing is I know. We'll work on
your family later on. Meanwhile, lets just get through this
reunion with Torant without incidents. Alright, Padawan?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"And thank you, Qui-Gon. Love you." Obi-Wan purred.
"Obi-Wan."
"Hm."
"Why did you insist I came along? I could have gone onto Reubus
Prime and waited for you there."
Obi-Wan broke free from Qui-Gon's embrace and shot him a 'you
have to ask?!' glare.
They had a week's break in between missions. The break was just
long enough for them to make a detour to Iaato to visit Torant.
Their next mission promised to be a rather dangerous one.
Reubus Prime was in the midst of a coup. And there was rumour
that the Sith were behind it. The two Jedi were sent there to
mediate between warring fractions and neutralize whatever Sith
elements there might be.
Their last mission of undercover collection of intelligence on
trade of human slaves on Meesiam 6 was relatively sedate and
very successful until the last moment when their cover was
blown. The pair had to leave in a hurry. So from there, it was
either Iaato or Reubus Prime. Qui-Gon did suggest their
splitting up with him going onto Reubus Prime to get a head
start on their next mission. The Jedi Master figured that
Obi-Wan might need sometime alone with Torant on Iaato without
him in tow. But his Padawan would have nothing of that.
Obi-Wan had vehemently insisted that Qui-Gon came along with
him to Iaato. He didn't say why and Qui-Gon didn't ask. Obi-Wan
thought the reason was self-explanatory. If nothing else, he'd
be damned if he allowed his beloved to venture alone to a Sith
infested planet.
He knew he was being paranoid when it came to Qui-Gon's safety.
But Naboo was simply too recent and horrid a memory. There's no
way he'd chance Qui-Gon's safety by leaving him to face a Sith
alone AGAIN. He would never allow another Naboo to happen. The
bottom line was he simply couldn't trust his Master's life to
anyone else, not even the Force!
Qui-Gon had guessed as much. That's why he had kept quiet until
now. But by asking the obvious, he finally gave in to the part
of him that enjoyed seeing Obi-Wan getting all protective and
possessive around him.
He was instantly chagrined, though as Obi-Wan's fierce glare
chastised him for asking a question that did no more than
stroke his own ego at the price of bringing back highly
unpalatable memories.
The Jedi Master took Obi-Wan's hand and place it against his
lips for a tender and apologetic kiss. Meanwhile, he allowed
their bond to be flooded with the bountiful gratitude and love
he felt towards his young lover.
At that point, a mild shudder ran through the cabin of the
chartered liner indicating the negotiation of atmosphere.
With his hand still entwined with Qui-Gon's, Obi-Wan sat back,
breathed in deep and reached out into the Force to augment the
bond he shared with the older man. The love and support that
came flooding through it soon blanketed him in a cocoon of
warmth and serenity.
Centered and settled, Obi-Wan was once again his assured and
composed self. For the first time in quite a while, he felt
both eager AND ready to meet Torant.
A tiny community existed solely to service the Tertiality of
Iaato, Iaatra was the only township to speak of on the small
moon. It was by no means a popular destination for business or
pleasure visitors. Consequently, the Iaatra Spaceport was a
small, quiet and laid back place with it's facilities and staff
more often than not lying idle.
As sparsely outfitted as it was, the spaceport nevertheless
came with an observation chamber where spectators could watch
spaceflights landing and taking off.
It was also the favourite haunt of Torant Kenobi.
A space flight enthusiast and a born introvert, Torant
preferred the quiet seclusion of solitary enjoyment of a hobby
to the buzz and hoopla of social scenes. This not withstanding
the fact that at the Iaatra Spaceport, he could be hours before
catching one flight coming in or departing.
He was a lanky young man about the same height as Obi-Wan, but
rather slenderer. He lacked his brother's athletic build for
obvious reasons. His features were delicate and pretty. The
nicely proportioned nose, the thin sensuous lips, the sandy
hair and the light golden complexion he shared with Obi-Wan.
But it was the same cute cleft in the chin that marked him
decisively as another Kenobi. His large hazel eyes were
introspective and at times ponderous , hence less vibrant and
assured than Obi-Wan's sea green ones. But like his brother's,
they held genuine kindness and gentleness. Long curly eyelashes
and a pair of shallow dimples put the finishing touches of
docility and sweetness to an already angelic face.
A shy, vulnerable young thing to whom one's heart would readily
go out without qualms.
One would be forgiven for taking that was all there was to
Torant Kenobi.
Only the occasional pinching of lips and flinty glint that came
off his look gave away the fact that, underneath all the
apparent youthful vulnerability, there lied a heart of quiet
determination, one that's not beyond the single-minded pursuit
of it's passions and desires.
Tonight, Torant Kenobi shared the observation chamber with a
handful of fellow greeters. He was dressed in a simple but
sparkling clean white shirt with a pair of light blue jeans and
sneakers.
A glance at his chrono. Another 15 minutes to touch down.
He yawned.
He woke early that morning with no more than a few hours sleep
even though he was in bed early last night. He spent hours
tossing and turning with sleep staying determinedly away. He
tried to take a nap in the afternoon but failed again. He then
took two baths and attempted eating but found that he wasn't
hungry at all in spite of his having missed lunch. He changed
his outfit 3 times and still ended up unhappy about the way he
looked.
Excited. Too excited. Almost jittery.
Like expecting a date.
Torant mused. A wry grin tugging at his mouth.
Only that it was way more than a date.
He was expecting his own brother. Dear Obi. The big brother
he'd looked up to all his life yet never got to spend much time
with, and who was ripped away from him so soon in his
childhood.
Too soon.
Technically, Lars-Owen was his big brother being his folks'
first born. And Torant did get to spend a large amount of time
with Lars having grown up with him. But they were never close.
The strain of being the eldest son of a family with separated
parents registering, Lars had always been too dour, too
unimaginative, too grown up too damn soon and too much of a
sullen pragmatist for Torant to bond with, much less to look up
to.
No, it was always Obi-Wan who held his heart and his
admiration.
Obi-Wan's passion for life and the goodness in it, his energy,
his spirit, his sense of honour, his kindness and decency, his
keen intelligence, his inquisitiveness, his sharp wit and so
much more had shone upon Torant like a distant but powerful
beacon guiding him out of his gray, dull, nondescript childhood
and adolescence.
Zest, light, life, things that were sorely needed in the Kenobi
household, and things that Obi-Wan was able to supply in
abundance.
As kids, they bonded easily with Obi-Wan playing the role of
protective elder brother fending off bullies and looking out
left and right for his docile little brother. Torant had felt
completely safe and secure under Obi-Wan's wings.
Even apart, they kept in touch doggedly. Torant remembered
saving up every single allowance credit he got from his Mom and
Lars just so he could pay for one more holoconversation with
Obi-Wan.
That wasn't much as they were always struggling as a family.
Fortunately, Obi-Wan made the rank of Padawan soon enough. And
he unceremoniously took over the responsibility of paying for
their holoconversations with the meagre allowance he received
from the Temple.
Qui-Gon used to be intensely amused by how Obi-Wan spared no
wit and efforts to skim on one more expense so that his
allowance could go that much further. The amusement turned
later into respect and finally heartache as Qui-Gon realized
his young Padawan gave in to such miserly behaviour way beyond
his years because he wished to maintain a close tie with his
kin.
After that, Qui-Gon dipped into his own purse as often as
practicable to allow Obi-Wan the one pleasure he indulged
himself in.
The glow on Obi-Wan's face each time he had a holoconversation
with Torant had convinced Qui-Gon that it had been more than
worth the credits expended, even if that meant instead of the
Padawan's having to be miserly, both the Master and the Padawan
had acquired that notoriety around the Jedi Temple.
It was the same story at Torant's end.
His mom and Lars hadn't been too amused with Torant's lingering
attachment with Obi-Wan. But the result of maintaining that
bond was only too apparent. Torant lit up, grinned profusely
and generally became a whole different person, one that's only
much happier, each time he had a holoconversation with Obi-Wan.
Mom and Lars couldn't find it in themselves to deny Torant what
evidently was something that brought him great joy. So they
chose to look the other way and let it be. Besides, a part of
them was almost relieved that one of them was in touch with
Obi-Wan. For down deep, they still cared for him even though
they did come to resent the Jedi that he had become and the
Order that had made that happen.
Just like that, the two Kenobis not only stayed in touch but
actually managed to cement their brotherly bond all through the
twelve years of separation. They saw each other through the
milestones of their lives. Obi-Wan's making Padawan when
apprenticed by Qui-Gon, then senior Padawan and now on the
verge of Knighthood. Torant's progress through the cut throat
Yuumin school system, his first crush, his first love and
finally his hard won admission to the elite Tertiality of
Iaato. In the process, they gave each other everything from
love, support, solace to tidbits about stretching their limited
financial means. At first, the flow of wisdom and comfort was
more lopsided with Torant naturally on the receiving end. As
Torant grew and matured, it became more of a two way street.
Both Kenobis gave and received as much.
One thing ostensibly missing from this otherwise all
encompassing exchange between the two, however, was Obi-Wan's
love life.
Instinctively, Obi-Wan had kept quiet about his crush on
Qui-Gon right from the beginning. Rightly or wrongly, some part
of him was dead sure that his own Jedi identity marked the
absolute limit of what his family could take from him. His
infatuation with another Jedi would be the last straw for them,
including Torant. The fact that his object of desire was old
enough to be his father did not help at all, Qui-Gon's
magnificence and sheer desirability not withstanding.
Torant must have had the same misgiving as he had never asked
Obi-Wan about his love experience, either. It was almost as if
he was afraid of what Obi-Wan might have said if he had.
This missing link of information just sat there like a small
but glaring hole in the bond between the two brothers.
The greeters around him began to stir. Some of them pointed at
the photon monitor while keeping up a spirited murmur among
themselves.
Torant checked the monitor and saw the display that Obi-Wan's
flight had cleared the atmosphere and would be landed in 5
minutes.
Five minutes to holding and hugging his dear Obi.
His pulse and breath quickened at the thought. Boy, were him
and Obi going to make a week of it. He had it all planned out.
Iaatra was a small town in the backwaters of the Galaxy. But
it's natural scenery was breathtaking. The majestic Canyon
Mitrayo alone should impress Obi and his Master. A tour of the
expansive campus of the Tertiality of Iaatra, especially it's
mammoth and excellently archived library, would be great fun to
the naturally inquisitive Obi. There were plenty of good, cozy
restaurants in Iaatra accustomed to pleasing the exquisite and
fuzzy palates of members of the academia. Some of those joints
were bound to be to Obi and his Master's liking.
And these were only the lesser funs.
Even greater would be the staying up late with Obi to talk into
the wee hours of the morning, the shooting of breeze after
dinner, the checking out of the astro scale model shops, a
mutually favourite past time.........and...
.........and getting to know Obi-Wan's stunningly handsome
Master.
That last thought touched his lips and minutely blossomed into
a ghost of a smile. A faint blush crept up his cheeks at the
same time.
Almost unwilling to admit to himself for the guilt it caused,
Torant had realized for some time now that however much he
longed to reunite with Obi-Wan, that alone could not fully
account for the reason why he looked forward to the visit so
much. A not too small part of him was deliriously happy when
Obi-Wan told him that he was going to bring his Master along to
Iaatra.
Of course, he hardly knew the Jedi Master at all. All he had
had to go on with were the holopics and anecdotes Obi-Wan had
been handing him over the years, although the last mentioned
weren't in short supply as Obi-Wan basically couldn't quite
stop talking about his magnificent Master whom he worshipped.
But they're enough for Torant to piece together an image that
he was increasingly attracted to.
It surprised him that Qui-Gon's identity as another Jedi didn't
bother him at all. Torant had grown up in a family where
resentment towards the Jedi was one of the first things that
were taught to the kids. He managed to stay above the worst of
the mind conditioning mainly because of Obi-Wan. But he himself
did find the Jedi mysterious and at times spooky. And there're
parts of their beliefs that he found difficult to comprehend,
hence subscribe to. Their mind tricks, their fierce dedication
to almost inhuman control and serenity, their near fatalistic
trust in the mystical Force, their constricted outlook on the
Universe and the good and evil. Besides, there's always the
memory that the Jedi were the ones who took Obi away from him.
He'd be lying if he said that hadn't coloured his view on the
Order significantly.
But this tall, middle-aged, exceedingly handsome Jedi was a
very different proposition, very different indeed.......
Torant closed his eyes for a moment to call up that fond image
yet again.
A towering man very broad across the shoulders. His long
graceful limbs that were also thick and muscular were
powerfully hinted in spite of the tunic and leggings. Silver
streaked leonine mane and soft luscious brown beard framed a
face that 's all masculine planes and angles. Nocturnal blue
eyes were warm, kind and enchanting, gentle mischief seemed
never far away from them. His lips were thin with slight
graceful curves. Torant liked to imagine that one minute
they're shut, the next they would part for a hearty fatherly
chuckle.
Fatherly chuckle, how he missed the sound of it ever since his
own father left the family when he was a kid.
**A galactic hunk of a man, so stately, majestic and
.........fatherly.** Torant thought to himself with a sigh
as he slowly opened his eyes again.
The grted for their baggage.
"You need to give him a bit of time, Master. Torant is shy and
reserved at first. But he'll open up when he warms to you. You
know how imposing and intimidating your presence could
sometimes be. Be extra gentle with my little brother, don't
scare him or break him or anything, alright." Obi-Wan
admonished his Master totally straight faced with mock gravity
and authority.
"Me scaring him? Now I am insulted. I am not judged the best
negotiator among the Jedi for nothing, remember, Padawan? I
could charm your socks off blind folded if I wanted to and you
know it. So don't go around calling me intimidating or I'll
twist your pretty little head off your neck, you hear me,
love?" The big Jedi Master protested quietly and serenely as he
caught his Obi-Wan gracefully in a fake neck lock that had the
younger man giggling and squirming to struggle free.
Soon, their bags arrived. The two stopped horsing around,
reclaimed their belongings and headed for the hordes of
greeters.
Obi-Wan realized two things when he spotted a frantically
waving Torant from the small crowd of greeters.
First, holoconversations were such poor substitute for a face
to face encounter.
Second, no matter how removed one was physically from one's kin
for no matter how long, the kinship was always there ready to
instantaneously snap back into place once togetherness was
achieved through a reunion.
Obi-Wan quickened his steps as a big wide grin burst onto his
face. His hands were full with bags so he couldn't wave back
but his mouth was already shouting out, "Tori."
Meanwhile, Torant broke free from the crowd and rushed forward
to meet Obi-Wan half way. An idiotic grin lit up his face so
much it in turn lit up the whole arrivals.
Without breaking strides, the two brothers swept into each
other's tight embrace with Obi-Wan's having allowed his bags to
fall onto the floor with a dull thud.
One of them cried, maybe both did, eyes were shut tight, cheeks
were kissed time and again and their hug was little short of an
embrace with brute strength. It's like they wanted each other's
warmth and touch to dispel the hurt of twelve years of
separation.
Finally, they broke apart. Obi-Wan held Torant by his
shoulders, his eyes sweeping Torant from top to bottom before
exclaiming proudly, "Tori, you're such a fine young man now,
almost as tall as I am. Force, did I miss you so much."
"I miss you too, Obi. You look great yourself. You look to be
in even greater shape than you did on the holoprojector. You
Jedi do work out a lot, don't you." Torant was smiling from ear
to ear though his eyes were still red and his nostrils flared
minutely from the crying.
"There's someone I want you to meet." Obi-Wan brought Torant
around with his arm draped across his shoulder.
"Master Qui-Gon Jinn, meet Torant Kenobi, my favourite brother.
And Torant, meet, Qui-Gon Jinn, my Master."
Up til then, Qui-Gon had been standing patiently and serenely
aside with his hands tucked in his sleeves, a small but warm
smile quirking his mouth. Inside, he was deeply happy to see
the reunion bring his beloved such intense joy.
At Obi-Wan's introduction, Qui-Gon stepped forward with a wide
grin, extended a huge hand towards Torant and said in his deep
silky voice, "very nice to finally meet you, Torant. Obi-Wan
has told me so much about you."
Torant raised his head to meet the eyes of the tall Jedi
Master. For a split second, he was pulled involuntarily into
the indigo depth of those smiling orbs that radiated such
warmth and kindness. He was almost mesmerized. He steadied
himself in time before anyone noticed anything. He hurriedly
shook Qui-Gon's hand as he heard himself say with a cheerful
friendly voice, "likewise, Master Jinn. I feel that I've known
you already. Obi just goes on and on and on about the marvelous
Master that he has got."
Torant felt his hand tingle with minute sensation after it left
Qui-Gon's expansive grip.
**Gosh, he's even taller and broader than he looks in the
holopics. And his hand, so large and warm and callused.**
The thought brought a small blush onto Torant's pale, pretty
face.
Chuckling at Torant's compliment, Qui-Gon said, "I am sure
Obi-Wan told you much more about me than just how fantastic a
Master I have been."
Before Torant could say some more nice things to that, Obi-Wan
cut in, "hello, I'm still here. There'll be plenty of time for
mutual admiration, you guys. Now let's just lose these bags and
grab a bite first. I'm famished. That inflight meal was a real
killer. I hardly touched it."
It turned out to be a great first evening.
Torant settled them in a visitor suite at the Tertiality. It
had a small living chamber and a spacious bed chamber with two
large twin beds. So it suited the pair of clandestine lovers
rather well. They did discover to their dismay that the noise
insulation of the partition was rather poor. So they made a
mental note to keep it down should they go about their indoor
sparring.
And then the three of them went out to dinner at a nice little
restaurant serving authentic Coruscant dishes. Torant figured
thoughtfully that the two Jedi were likely to miss their home
cooking having been on the road for so long.
Conversation was lively and uninhibited around the table. With
2 bottles of Aldaraanian wine quickly consumed and the
impeccability of the stewed aooli with dandenuem leaf,
Qui-Gon's favourite dish, all three of them were in the best of
moods.
Obi-Wan was relieved and a little surprised to see the usually
reserved Torant hit it off with Qui-Gon so effortlessly.
There's almost no trace of his brother's shyness now. Even more
surprising was Torant's sudden and all new interest in the Jedi
way of life. He put earnest and engaging questions to Qui-Gon
about the subject and then listened intently with interest,
giggling, marveling, ooing and aahing as the situation
warranted while Qui-Gon recounted in reply the adventures, the
joy and labour of a Jedi journeyman.
Obi-Wan couldn't help wondering to himself what came over
Torant. His younger brother wasn't beyond passing a snide or
cynical remark about the Jedi every now and then during their
holoconversations. The rest of the time, he was just
indifferent.
But Obi-Wan wasn't going to complain about it. If the Force
wanted to make his life easier and pleasanter, he was just
going to take it.
For his part, Qui-Gon was completely in his elements all
through the evening. He didn't even have to dip into his
charisma and had it deployed. His usual, relaxed, serene,
quietly confident, warm, kind, gentle, witty, intelligent, and
learned self was more than enough to utterly captivate Torant
with it's devastating charm.
That night, Obi-Wan cuddled up against Qui-Gon's muscular
chest, his heart singing with joy and utter contentment. It had
been a while since he was this happy. He kept replaying the
evening's dinner in his head. It's a small dream of his coming
true. His beloved bondmate, his beloved brother and him sitting
down to a dinner of warmth and love, just like a happy family.
Obi-Wan felt as if another missing piece of puzzle of his life
was put back where it belonged. He was that much closer to
being whole.
At the happy thought, he drifted into slumber against the low,
rhythmic rumbling of Qui-Gon's slight snoring, something he was
so used to now he had difficulty falling asleep without.
It wasn't until the fourth day that Obi-Wan stumbled across
something amiss.
Torant took them to Canyon Mitrayo. The harsh and
uncompromising beauty of the stark landscape had both Obi-Wan
and Qui-Gon flabbergasted at the sheer power of Nature. Such
fantastic scenery naturally made great holo opportunities.
Different combinations of human subjects were done until it was
Obi-Wan's turn to point the holocam at Qui-Gon and Torant.
Obi-Wan was squinting into the viewfinder. Qui-Gon was standing
tall and erect right next toTorant and was grinning in high
spirit.
Obi-Wan was about to call out "ready, cheese," but didn't quite
yet. Somehow, Qui-Gon knew enough to turn his face towards the
holocam. But Torant was still looking up sidelong at Qui-Gon's
face, a smile of a million credits splattered across his face.
Obi-Wan had the word "cheese" at the tip of his tongue when
through the viewfinder, he caught Torant's look at Qui-Gon.
Obi-Wan froze.
Déjà vu.
He knew that look.
Not because he had seen it before.
But because he had DONE it before --- on the same person
Torant's look was directed at now.
Instinctively, Obi-Wan knew that was the way he looked at
Qui-Gon when he had an all consuming crush on the Jedi Master.
It was a misty look that held so much in it. Admiration,
worship, longing, yearning, pining, even a hint of sorrow all
rolled into something intense and smothering that homed onto
it's target with relentless singlemindedness.
To be absolutely sure, he did a quick mind probe over Torant.
Obi-Wan was an accomplished senior Padawan whose command of the
Force was such that a sweep of the mind over a non Force-adept
would be embarrassingly easy. And the probe subject wouldn't
notice a thing. The Jedi only used the skill sparingly out of
respect for other's privacy.
But this mattered too much.
Probed and confirmed. Quick and painless.
Obi-Wan was not jealous or threatened by Torant as he was
secure in the faith that his heartbond with Qui-Gon was more
than enough to keep the older man from straying.
It's Torant that he was worried about. The last thing Obi-Wan
wanted was to see Torant getting all heart broken over this.
This was going to be really delicate.
Obi-Wan couldn't help but snorted out his breath as the
multiple ironies of the situation hit him next.
**Well, What do you know? Did Master cast a spell over the
Kenobi household or what? How come all of us find him
irresistible.** Obi-Wan thought dryly.
Somehow, the thought sounded comical in his head.
All of a sudden, Obi-Wan felt something bubbling up from deep
within his guts.
It's a laughter. A real big one. Obi-Wan could feel it boiling
up from deep below fast and furious.
He bit it down with brute force, almost drawing blood from
chewing his lips. In his mind, he hissed at himself, **
what's has gotten over you, Kenobi. This is a serious
situation! What a time to go all loopy and hysterical. Get a
hold on yourself, you twit!**
But, of course, all it did was to thrust the other ironies even
faster to the front of his mind.
**And to think that I was worried sick about Tori's hating
Master. Looks like if Tori could have his way, he wouldn't so
much be hating Master than dating him.**
Obi-Wan almost lost it this time. His mouth was twitching badly
with laughter leaking from it's corners and his eyes were
overflowing with hilarity, his stomach all cramped up. But the
near barbaric use of the Force at the last minute pushed the
biggie down before it exploded to the surface. That didn't stop
Qui-Gon and Torant from smelling something wrong with Obi-Wan
and beginning to look quizzically at him, though.
"What's the matter with you, Padawan. Now take the holo
already." Qui-Gon called over.
It was Qui-Gon's innocent look that finally did Obi-Wan in.
The Jedi Padawan knew it was the one area in the Galaxy where
his wise, clever, sabre sharp Master had a blind spot. The man
was so self-effacing that it never occurred to him that his
sexual impact on the others was simply devastating.
**Master just stands there totally clueless. I'd love to see
his face if he ever should find out. And what about Mother? If
she realizes that two, not one of her kids have fallen for the
same Jedi, she's going to personally march up to Yoda and rip
his ears off with bare hands.**
A hurricane of a laugh came tearing out of Obi-Wan at the
completion of that thought. He doubled over, howled helplessly
with his arms across his stomach, tears spilling from his eyes,
and was shaking from head to toe like a willow in a storm.
Before long, his uncontrollable laughter was so infectious that
even Qui-Gon and Torant began to chortle and giggle away
especially since their repeatedly asking "what so funny, Obi?"
only met with even more howling from Obi-Wan.
After a long long stretch, they finally laughed out. With all
three gasping for air, Obi-Wan proceeded to do the inevitable
explaining haltingly in between quickly drawn breaths.
Obi-Wan realized he just had a bout of shock-induced hysteria.
With that quickly dissipating now, he gathered himself and
proceeded to deal with the situation on hand.
To Torant, he simply handed him a lame alibi that the way he
posed for the holoshoot reminded him of a zoo Bantha that stood
stiffly on it's two hind legs.
To Qui-Gon, he sent along their heartbond, // tonight,
Master. I'll explain it tonight.//
Another half of a day gone by and it was close to sunset. The
Canyon was painted an ethereal golden crimson. Torant and
Obi-Wan sat side by side on the edge of a precipice, their feet
dangling precariously over a deep crevice. Cool crisp breeze
swept against them incessantly lifting their sandy hair off
their faces. Since Obi-Wan had subtly brought the Force to bear
to anchor them securely, Torant was not afraid at all.
Qui-Gon had wandered off to collect rock samples, a passion of
his, leaving the two brothers alone.
"Obi." Eyes focused ahead.
"Yes, Tori."
" I am so glad you came. I really did miss you. I love Mom and
Lars, the Gods know I do. They have given so much to keep the
family going. And they're always there for me. But you're the
one I look up to and whom I can really connect with mind to
mind. I want you to know that." Torant said softly but gravely,
deep emotions underlying his quiet voice.
" I know, Tori, I know. I love you, too. You and Qui-Gon are
the two most important persons in my life. It's you two who got
me through thick and thin and made me what I am today." Obi-Wan
reached over and pulled Torant close with one arm giving him a
loving hug.
"Obi." Voice thinner still, more tentative this time.
"Tori?"
"There's something I want you to know. Please don't be mad
about this." Hazel eyes were trained to the deep canyon in
front of them.
"Don't be silly, Tori. You know you can tell me anything. What
is it?" ** There we go, Obi. Just hang on for the
ride.**
"I think I am......," a deep breath, " I ...am very attracted
to Qui-Gon" Torant lifted his eyes to lock gaze with Obi-Wan
for a moment before turning to stare down the canyon again.
Obi-Wan schooled his expression into just the right level of
moderate but neutral surprise before giving the standard
response with a very nice finishing touch of slight agitation
being put on his voice. He hated having to play this charade,
though. Knowing something that he had to keep from Torant gave
him the creeps already, let alone spewing these white lies.
"Oh, really? When did that happen? How did that happen?"
Rapidly delivered to suggest excitement and anxiety.
"I don't know. I guess I've had a crush on him for quite some
time now. You know, all those holos and stories about him that
you told me. But this visit really allowed me to get to know
him. Are you okay with this? You don't hate me, do you? I mean,
he's your Master." Torant's worry was genuine. He sought
Obi-Wan's eyes with creased brows wishing badly to know the
answer.
"Hate? Tori, come on, that's nuts. It's not a bad thing to have
romantic feelings for someone. The important thing is what you
do about them. So what are you going to do about my Master?"
"I am not sure. I really want to let him know. It's strange.
But I have never been this sure about wanting someone before.
Do you think he would be interested in someone like me? Is he
in a relationship? Is he seeing someone?" Torant's gaze grew
sharp and his eyes widened with worried anticipation.
Swiftly, Obi-Wan weighed his options and quickly decided
part-truth would be the best way out here.
"I am afraid he's already taken, Tori. He's heartbonded with
another Jedi. Sorry." Obi-Wan said slowly and evenly trying to
break this to Torant as gently as possible.
Torant was visibly shaken by the news. His whole body sagged
instantly. Whatever life and sparks there were in his eyes
vanished without a trace.
Obi-Wan knew this was inevitable, but the utter disappointment
that Torant's whole body screamed still made him flinch and
ache plenty. The knowledge that he was the one blessed with
someone Torant wanted so badly did little to help ease the
heartache he felt for his heart broken brother.
For a long while, there was only silence and the sound of the
increasingly biting wind between them.
At long last, Torant said with a thin hollow voice, his eyes
fixed at some point far far ahead, " I suppose it's not meant
to be. What are the odds of someone so fantastic not being
taken? He's rather magnificent, isn't he? You know that
feeling, don't you, Obi? When you see someone and there's this
instant attraction. I fell for his damn sexy looks, yes but
he's also loving, gentle, kind and noble. I guess I've always
had a thing for fatherly guys. I feel utterly safe and
protected around him. It's like whatever happens, he would
always look out for me and make things right. Please tell me
that's really how he is, it's not just my fantasy, is it?"
Obi-Wan put an arm across Torant's shoulder and pull him in
close to his side. The younger man rested his head on Obi-Wan's
shoulder.
"No, Tori, no, it's not just your fantasy, he's like that.
He's like that indeed." Obi-Wan murmured almost inaudibly as if
in a trance.
A moment went by. He turned to look at Torant and cringed as he
caught Torant squeeze his eyes shut with tears falling from
them in the gathering dusk.
"Hey, you two, look what I've got." Qui-Gon's deep voice
rumbled behind them with excitement.
"I beg you pardon?!" Qui-Gon didn't shout. In fact, his voice
was even and calm. He was too accomplished a Jedi Master to
ever lose his serenity to the state of shouting. But his eyes
did grow wider and his brows furrowed into a big tight knot.
That, for Qui-Gon Jinn, was utter astonishment.
"It's true, Master. Tori told me this much when you're away
picking rocks. I told him you'd already heartbonded with
someone. I didn't say it was me." Suddenly, Obi-Wan felt a bit
fatigued. After the emotionally draining conversation with
Torant at the Canyon, he wasn't sure he cared to explain the
whole situation in details to anyone all over again. He sank
heavily down on the lounger in their bed chamber and looked at
the older man with tired eyes.
"But why, how did it happen? Is that why Torant acted so
strangely just now and went home without having dinner with
us?"
" I suppose so. What do you expect? It hit him hard. By the
way, I wouldn't have told you this if there had been a way for
me to shield this from you. But with this heartbond between us,
you are bound to find out. Besides, this way, you'd get some
warning and might know better how to act around Tori." Tone
flat and insipid.
"If only I had known.....I wouldn't have acted so
casual.....but what did he see in an old man like me?" Genuine
incredulity.
Obi-Wan didn't know whether to laugh or yell at his Master. How
could someone so wise and sharp in all other things be so thick
in this one?
"You just don't get it, do you, Qui-Gon? People moon after YOU.
It's been that way since I first met you. You are very, very
handsome and sexy. In fact, you look magnificent. What's inside
you only adds greatly to your appeal and attraction to others.
They are drawn to you, just like I was, just like Tori is, just
like countless others at the Temple have been. The only
difference is that I am the luckiest one among them. Oh, Force,
I don't know why I am even telling you all this. Don't you ever
look at yourself in the mirror? Sith, if I hadn't known that
you have absolutely no vanity, I sure as the Sith hell wouldn't
have told you all this stuff that would have made you the
cockiest man in the Galaxy. So Master, face it, get used to
this part of you. Because if you continue to walk around
totally unaware of your devastating sexual impact on others, it
would only make you twice as irresistible and you'd continue to
break hearts left and right." The words were admonishing, the
voiced was raised and the tone snappy.
Qui-Gon was rendered speechless for a moment. Proof that
Obi-Wan's words had hit home well and true.
"I see. I am sorry that's the way you look at it." Qui-Gon's
face darkened, his tone serene but stiff and distant. Slowly
and gracefully, he turned away from his Padawan, walked up to
the window of the living chamber and stared into the night,
face impassive and eyes glassy.
It wasn't so much what Obi-Wan said but the way he said it.
That edgy and impatient tone of voice. It was not quite a dress
down but sharp nonetheless. It was almost as if Obi-Wan
was....... pissed off with him.......even blamed him for what
happened to Torant.
That needled the Jedi Master and that hurt.
Obi-Wan immediately felt it along their heartbond.
Instantly remorseful, Obi-Wan kicked himself in his mind for
taking his frustration with Tori's affair out on his Master. He
hurriedly walked up to Qui-Gon, circled the Jedi Master's waist
with his arms from behind and rested his head against the broad
back.
"I am sorry, Master. I didn't mean to snap at you like that.
And I certainly have no right taking it out on you. Being
modest and self-effacing isn't your fault. And you really can't
help it if you are so damn desirable." Obi-Wan said softly.
"I don't know about being desirable but if that, by any chance,
should indeed be the way I am, no, Obi-Wan, I can't help it. I
cannot be more or less than what I am. But you may be right
about my needing to be more aware of how those around me feel
about me. I have to at least meditate on this. Ignorance can be
dangerous. I may even have to rein in my charm from now on, if
it's truly as abundant and devastating as you described."
Rueful smile accompanied by a sigh. His large hands moved to
cover those of Obi-Wan's on his waist.
"It is, it is, you big handsome Jedi. You have a heart of gold
to go with that incredible package of the physical, too. That's
why none of us stand a chance against you. And that's why I
love you with everything I have." Obi-Wan went around to the
front and drew the big Jedi Master into his embrace. Qui-Gon
held him tightly back while sending bountiful affection along
their bond.
They stayed that way for a while in each other's arms basking
in the ocean of love, comfort and warmth that their bond had
generated, the Force humming around the them..... until all of
a sudden, they heard the door to their living chamber swish
quietly open and then shut.
To their horror, they realized that it wasn't someone entering
the living chamber. It was someone leaving it.
They could well have missed it if they hadn't kept quiet in
each other's embrace.
And they must have missed the entrance of the person while
Obi-Wan raised his voice with Qui-Gon.
The two Jedi looked at each other. One word came to their
minds.
Torant.
Torant was devastated after Obi-Wan broke the news of Qui-Gon's
heartbond with another Jedi to him. His dreams in tatters, he
became ill at ease and even somewhat panicky in Qui-Gon's
presence the rest of the day. The first chance arose, he left
words that he wasn't feeling well and fairly bolted away from
the two Jedi.
He rushed back to his unit, which was only a floor below that
of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon's. Even that physical proximity to
Qui-Gon was almost too much to bear. The one person in the
whole Universe who had his heart and soul was just one damn
floor from him.
So close, yet so far.
He threw himself on his bed and cried hard.
The tears must have cleansed him somewhat because after they
stopped, he immediately felt bad for the way he behaved just
now. His senses came back to tell him that he had acted like a
four year old. Just because his love was unrequited didn't mean
he was licensed to be rude or thoughtless. Obi and Qui-Gon had
no place to have dinner without him as their guide. Besides, he
did owe Qui-Gon an apology for rushing off like that. Moreover,
a part of him still somehow cared deeply about how Qui-Gon saw
him, although he was already convinced of and resigned to the
unavailability of the man.
So he trotted back to Obi-Wan's quarters and tried to make
amends.
At the door of the quarters, Torant's heart was pounding. Gosh,
he was nervous. It was going to be mighty hard having to act
normal around Qui-Gon for three more days. Well, no better time
to start than now.
Perhaps his anxiety gave him that heightened state of
awareness, as he took a deep breath and was about to ring the
door chime, he faintly caught the phrase "is that why Torant
acted so strangely...." mentioned by those within. It could
have escaped from a ventilation shaft or something. The units
were all rather poorly insulated for noise anyway. The result
of an austerity drive of the Tertiality.
Torant seized up totally. His curiosity and suspicion flared
like a wild fire.
The unthinkable crossed his mind. Did Obi tell Qui-Gon about
his crush? Noooo! It was a horrible prospect. What else could
those words have meant if Obi didn't? The unit was palmed to
him as well to facilitate his stocking it up with necessities
before Obi-Wan arrived. Beyond caring, he palmed in ready to
confront only to discover that Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were talking
in the bed chamber and didn't even realize he had entered.
He stayed in the living chamber listening in throughout the
rest of their exchange.
Stunned. Confounded. Incredulous. Disbelieving.
Torant's mind was racing a million microns an hour.
However incredible the revelation was, it was the one
explanation that could explain everything.
Obi-Wan's curious lack of love experience. His unusual worship
of Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan's words that Qui-Gon had bonded with
another Jedi. That intangible but very real air of intimacy
that hung between the two Jedi.
And the greatest proof was that only someone as great as his
Obi-Wan would be good enough for someone as great as Qui-Gon.
What a totally dazzling pair they made!
Everything fell into place.
The brother he adored and looked up to got the one thing he
wanted most in the Universe --- the love of the man he would
gladly surrender his heart and soul to.
What it meant was --- and this was the darnest thing --- that
he didn't even have the luxury of jealousy. He HAD to be big
and gracious about it.
That's almost humanly impossible when every fibre of his being
clamoured for him to indulge and wallow in pettiness and self
pity.
He didn't know whether to laugh or scream about it.
He didn't do neither. He just quietly exited the quarters.
"Master, I'll have to go after him. I don't know how much he
heard. He could have gotten the wrongest idea."
"Sure, be careful, Padawan. I'll wait for you here."
Obi-Wan found Torant in a small garden close to their quarters.
He could have easily missed him in the deep of the night had he
not cranked up his manipulation of the Force and cast his
Force-enhanced senses wide about to locate his younger brother.
Torant was sitting on a stone bench with his back facing him.
He walked softly up to Torant and gently sat down beside him.
Obi-Wan said quietly, "Tori, I can explain. What you......."
"It's okay, Obi. I think I heard pretty much all of it. I am
not mad at all. I know you couldn't keep any secret
from.......him because you two are bon.....bondmate."
Obi-Wan's heart clenched tight as he heard Torant hesitated in
his articulation at the crucial places. Evidence that the mere
reference to Qui-Gon was enough to hurt him bad.
Torant turned to look briefly at him. His eyes were red and
puffy under the moonlight and his face tear-streaked. He then
lowered his head again and fixed his gaze at his hands which
were steepled across his knees.
The sight tore at Obi-Wan's heart. He reached out instinctively
and pulled Torant into a tight embrace while murmuring, "Oh,
Tori, I am so sorry. I really am....."
Torant rested his head on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Tears began to
come again. But he bravely forced a smile on his face and tried
gamely to put it on his words as well as he said, "no, Obi,
don't be. It's not your fault. It hurts. I won't lie to you
about that. But I am happy for you. I really am. He is such a
wonderful man. If anyone else should have him. I hope it's
you." It was too much. Torant's voice broke at the end of the
words. He just let go and sobbed freely.
Obi-Wan's eyes were filling up, too. His brother's bravery,
class and unquestionable love for him became something that
weighed heavily on his heart. He gently rocked Torant and
stroked his hair as he waited for him to cleanse himself with
tears.
They just sat there hugging each other for a long time until at
last Torant felt cried out and cleansed.
He wiped his nose and eyes on Obi-Wan's tunic and whispered,
"sorry about the mess." A weak smile managed.
"Anytime, Tori, and anything for my favourite brother." Obi-Wan
said softly.
"Look on the bright side, Obi, at least, I've got a to die for
hunk for a brother in law. I could have done much worse."
Torant attempted humour to ease the weighty mood in the air.
"True. I am sure Qui-Gon is going to make a marvelous brother
in law." Obi-Wan wanted to add "he's very fond of you" but
decided he had better not.
"Obi, promise me one thing." Torant raised his eyes and locked
them with Obi-Wan's in a grave manner.
"Love him enough for the both of us, okay."
"Oh Tori," Obi-Wan pulled Torant again into his arms, hugged
him tight as he whispered, "I will, Tori. I promise."
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