Master Apprentice
Archive
Terms of Endearment?
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Archive: M_A
Category: Qui/Obi, Humour
Rating: G
Warnings: None. Just a short silly ficlet.
Summary: Obi wan tries some pet names on Qui for size
Disclaimer: The characters in this story do not belong to me; they belong to George Lucas. I just like to play with them and will try and return them in somewhat the condition in which they were found.
Feedback: Oh Yes!!!!!...please
The young couple in the park sat very close to each other, exchanging furtive glances and small touches. The young man reached over and took the young woman's hand in his own, leaned over to her and started to murmur things in her ear meant only for her. As he sat back she smiled coyly at him and said, "I'd love to, sugar muffin."
This was said just as Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, happened to be passing within earshot. Obi-Wan looked longingly at the smitten couple and reflected again on the lack of public affection his Master and lover paid him. Qui-Gon snorted derisively.
"What is it, Master?" Obi-Wan queried, looking up at the older man.
"Pet names," Qui-Gon answered loftily, "There's something about them that makes me feel vaguely ill."
"I think they're sweet," Obi-Wan said trying not to look to hopeful that perhaps his Master might just let down his vaunted Jedi dignity and bestow such a name on him.
"That's just it, Obi-Wan. They are sweet and fluffy and convey no true emotion. It's just not dignified to refer to someone as if they were some sort of animal or dessert."
"Well, if I remember correctly, you did some things last night that would be considered below dignity!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, trying not to laugh.
"What a person does in the privacy of their own room is one thing, Padawan. It's quite another to behave that way in public," the Jedi Master admonished.
"So then, I could call you by a pet name in private?"
"No"
"Why not?" Obi-wan was trying his best to keep the petulance out of his voice.
"They make me... uncomfortable, " Qui-Gon said, giving his Padawan a sidelong glance.
Obi-Wan then cooked up a deliciously Sithly idea, "So, it would make you uncomfortable if I called you say... lover?" He asked keeping his tone as even as possible, as if he were simply asking for the details on their most recent mission.
"Ugh... yes," replied the older man.
"What about darling? Can I call you that?"
"No"
"Snuggle bear?"
"No"
"Cupcake?"
"No."
"How about my cuddly teddy bear of love?"
"I hardly think *that's* appropriate..."
"My clotted cream pastry of passion?"
"No"
"Ummmmmm... What about snugly hunky cuddle monkey?"
"Obi-Wan! Are you making fun?"
"Me? Of course not, Master, that would be below Jedi dignity! What about my fruit on the bottom yoghurt cup of joy?"
"Do these get better or just longer?"
"What about my sour cream filled jelly doughnut of happiness?"
"I would say it's a good thing you're a Jedi, you're terrible at sales."
"Okay... the joy and happiness thing is the wrong way to go about it, obviously. What about my longhaired scone of despair?
"That's supposed to be a good thing?"
"My sugar topped, with extra cherries, crème-puff with a slight chocolate glaze and a cup of coffee?"
"Did you miss lunch?"
"Okay, here is the absolute last one and if you don't like it, I promise never to bring it up again."
"What is it, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon's patience with the game were just about at an end.
"Last one!"
"Is that a promise?"
"Yes, of course. What about... Master?" Obi-Wan's grin broadened into one of triumph.
Qui-Gon stopped dead in his tracks and looked in disbelief at his Apprentice. He then smiled and folded the younger man into an embrace and kissed him lightly. "That is one, I do believe I can live with."
FINIS