Master Apprentice
Archive
Telepathic Sex Doesn't Count
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Pairing: Qui-Gon/Other, Xanatos/Obi-Wan
Archive: Master_Apprentice, my site at http://www.geocities.com/area51/keep/8613/artists.html, anyone else, just ask
Category: AU, Romance, Humor
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Summary: A discussion between a master and his padawans on the nature of sex
Feedback: Very welcome.
Notes: From a challenge by Nimori, "Telepathic sex doesn't count, Master. You're still a virgin."
More Notes: The characters in this story are from my story, Enlightenment, found in the Rituals and Meditations zine put out by 10 Eye Press. You need not have read the story, however. Just know that Qui-Gon is bonded to his first padawan, J'Hathorian and Xanatos, Jinn's second padawan, is bonded to Obi-Wan, Jinn's third padawan.
Warnings: M/M relationship, pays absolutely no attention to canon.
Disclaimer: The Boyz aren't mine. More's the pity. This story is for the pleasure of the readers only. I don't make a thing.
"Telepathic sex doesn't count, Master. You're still a virgin."
"You're joking," Obi-Wan said in a stunned tone.
"I am not, Padawan," Qui-Gon stated in no uncertain terms. "He said exactly that."
Obi-Wan stared across the table at his master and then turned his gaze to his highly embarrassed bondmate.
"You said that to Master?" the younger knight choked out. Xanatos rubbed his forehead slowly as if he could wipe off the red stain of his blush.
"I was sixteen years old. What the hell did I know?" he grated as he glared between his fingers at his master. Qui-Gon was looking very smug for a Jedi master.
"You thought you knew quite a bit, if I recall," Master J'Hath pointed out thoughtfully from Qui-Gon's side. "And you didn't hesitate to share the knowledge."
"I'm sure when you were sixteen, you knew everything too," Xanatos protested.
"No, I can't say that he ever had quite the attitude about things that you did, Xani," Qui-Gon said serenely as he sipped his chi. "He certainly never accused me of being a virgin with quite the enthusiasm that you did."
J'Hath snickered and Xanatos shot him an evil glare. Obi-Wan, however, gave his former master a thoughtful look.
"So, you and J'Hath have had regular sex though, right?" Master Jinn's third padawan asked bluntly.
Qui-Gon choked on his chi and J'Hath hastily thumped his bondmate on the back. Xanatos sent his Obi-Wan a fond, beaming smile before he turned back to the pair across the table.
"Well, Master?" Xanatos asked smugly.
Qui-Gon took a long moment to clear his throat as J'Hath intently studied the inner workings of his chi mug.
"Certainly, Padawan," Qui-Gon said, glancing sideways at his bondmate. Master J'Hathorian had nothing to add to that statement.
Obi-Wan studied the pair intently. "I meant you and J'Hath having sex together, Master," he suddenly pointed out. "Not just during your Enlightenment Ritual."
After a long moment of heavy silence, Qui-Gon took cowardly refuge in his status as a Master.
"We seem to be straying into Realms that are not your concern, Knight Kenobi," he stated in an end-of-the-discussion, masterly tone.
"Not my concern?" Obi-Wan bleated. "What were you and J'Hath doing those nights when you kept me up to all hours if you weren't having real sex?"
"Mental Coition is very real, Obi-Wan," J'Hath protested hotly. Almost as hotly as the blush that was coloring his entire body. "And quite beyond anything just physical!"
"Real loud, you mean," Obi-Wan noted as he absently played footsie with Xanatos under the table. "There were times I thought you two were going to bring down the Temple, you were so loud."
"We are not that loud," Qui-Gon said, assuming a somewhat offended mien. "We are simply enthusiastic."
"So enthusiastic that I used to get teased constantly," Xanatos pointed out. "The masters on either side of our suite both had padawans who didn't have a shred of decency." The tall knight looked to Obi-Wan for understanding. "Once I was asked if there were in-season banthas in our suite because of all the bellowing."
"XANATOS!" Qui-Gon roared. Suddenly, they had the silent attention of diners in every direction. J'Hath just slumped to the table and covered his head, a pathetic, 'oh gods', floating up from his crossed arms.
In the complete silence that followed, Xanatos' very meek, "Yes, Master?" was clearly heard.
Qui-Gon had to clear his throat twice before he could speak. His eyes, however, were promising a very un-Jedi-like vengeance if Xanatos and Obi-Wan didn't vacate the immediate vicinity within the next ten seconds.
"I suspect you and Knight Kenobi have somewhere else to be?" he finally stated in a soft deadly tone.
"Actually, we do," Obi-Wan said, quickly standing and grabbing his mate's hand. "We're supposed to be sparring with Bruck and his little padawan wild child." And with typical Jedi ability, the two disappeared post haste.
After the two knights made their escape, Master Qui-Gon Jinn drew his serenity about himself and his bondmate, giving the surrounding onlookers a glare that had sent more than one padawan fleeing in his time. Once they were no longer the center of attention, Qui-Gon leaned down and murmured in J'Hath's ear, "Are you all right, my precious one?"
"I'm sorry, Qui-Gon," the younger master whispered from between his arms. "I had no idea that I was...that we were so loud."
Qui-Gon propped his chin on his fist and looked down at his bondmate with an openly affectionate gaze. Even after all these years in the Order, being sent from one crisis to the next and seeing the worst the Universe had to offer, J'Hathorian still managed to maintain a tiny bit of naive innocence in his soul. Was it any wonder Qui-Gon loved him?
"Didn't you get the hint when the Temple transferred us to soundproof quarters half-way through Xanatos' apprenticeship?" Qui-Gon teased his lover gently. J'Hath looked up, his handsome face still blood red, his violet eyes wide.
"I...ah...thought that was because of Xanatos," he admitted faintly. "He was so frisky in his later training."
"And why do you think that was?" the older master queried with a chuckle. "Your inspiration, perhaps?"
J'Hath's blush faded a little as he paled. "I'M responsible for Xanatos' rabid sex life?"
"You're certainly responsible for mine," Qui-Gon murmured in a smooth tone and J'Hath felt an intimate caress deep in his mind. His eyes slanted upwards as he glared at his bondmate.
"Don't do that to me in the dining hall, Qui-Gon," he ordered as he slowly sat up. "We have to walk out of here, you know."
"Can we walk out of here now?" the older master asked innocently. "Because I'd like to continue this intellectual discussion in our rooms."
"Our soundproof rooms?" J'Hath asked haughtily as he stood and buried his hands in his sleeves, striving to appear serene and calm when he was anything but.
"Our sound-proof, echo-proof and tightly shielded rooms," Qui-Gon corrected as he walked with his bond mate out of the dining hall.
"Oh Gods," floated faintly down the hall.
"What are you thinking about with that expression on your face, Obi?" Xanatos asked his bondmate later that afternoon as they returned from sparring practice.
Obi-Wan assumed an innocent look but Xanatos was getting some interesting images over their bond.
"I was just wondering about Master and J'Hath," he replied as they moved towards their own rooms, deep in the Knights' Hall. "If they have never really...I mean, if they've never had physical sex then why did they make that much noise?" Obi-Wan gave his partner a bewildered look. "Surely 'Mental Coition' as J'Hath so grandly calls it, is not that much better. Is it?"
Xanatos gave his partner a long, slow smile. "Why don't we find out?" he asked as their door slid shut behind them.
A short time later, all activity in the temple came to an abrupt halt as an 'oh-my-little-dancing-GODS-OF-THE-UNIVERSE!' wave of amazed ecstasy crested outward from the Knights Hall, unexpectedly sweeping pairs and groups of Jedi together and emptying classrooms, meditation chambers and training salles throughout the building. For the first time in years, there was an afternoon silence in the High Council Chamber as Councilors suddenly excused themselves and vanished from the room.
Squeezing the arms of his chair, Councilor Windu took a deep, DEEP breath before he turned to the Head of the Council.
"Jinn and Hathorian know better than that," he growled as he fought down his need to follow Depa out of the room. Then he wondered why he bothered to fight it. His former padawan had certainly sent him an enticing look before she'd fled. He stood and headed towards the doors, followed closely by the Head of the Council.
"My padawan, that was not," Yoda stated flatly. "Knights Chiyari and Kenobi, that was." The old Councilor stomped through the doorway, using his formidable mind to plot the quickest route to Councilor Yaddle's quarters. "Qui-Gon's defiance they already have. His sexual appetite, they need not! Get them reassigned to shielded quarters immediately we will!"
"Tomorrow," Mace noted as he dropped into a Force assisted run and disappeared around a corner.
THE END ::snicker::