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Rating: R? NC-17? I feel like my NC-17s are everyone else's Rs...

Category: Obi/Bail, humor, PWP

Archive: yes, and at my site, www.wyomingnot.com/rita/rita.html

Summary: When you get impatient with your lover's flaws, just remember he gets impatient with yours, too!

Author's note: I've been posting these little stand-alone pieces on my live journal. They are sort of character PWPs. This one is a companion piece to Music Appreciation.

Feedback: on or off list, positive or negative, black or green olives, but hold the pepperoni

Disclaimer: I, being of sound mind and body, do hereby knowingly trespass upon Skywalker Ranch and all the galaxies contained therein. George Lucas, etc, etc.

Thank yous: To the LJ gang for their thoughts, contributions, nagging, etc, etc. To join this happy crowd, visit www.livejournal.com/users/jedirita

Bail and Obi-Wan ambled slowly down the promenade on their post- dinner, night-time stroll through the park. The air was chilly, and Bail's arm slid around Obi-Wan's waist. "I should have worn a coat," he remarked.

Obi-Wan wrapped both arms snuggly around him. "Is that better?"

"A little," Bail replied. He leaned his head on Obi-Wan's shoulder, nuzzling against the padawan's neck. "You know, there's a public comm booth up ahead. Maybe we could huddle inside it and...get a little warmer."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes in that patented long-suffering way. "Bail...," he warned.

"'Baaaail!'" the prince whined in imitation, raising his head to glare at Obi-Wan. "There you go again, with your condescending disapproval. You always find some horrible fault with me."

"I do not," Obi-Wan protested.

"Yes, you do! You roll your eyes, heave one of those sighs, frown, shake your finger at me."

"When did I ever shake my finger at you?"

"Metaphorically speaking," Bail amended. "How is it that your stuffiness becomes a character flaw in me?"

"I am not stuffy!" pouted Obi-Wan.

"Why can't you just accept me the way I am?" Bail continued, ignoring him. "Bawdy, enthusiastic, unbearably cute. So I don't hide my feelings all the time, so I have a tendency toward public displays of affection, so I want to fuck you in a comm booth. Why is that so wrong? I don't try to change you, so why do you feel you have to change me?"

"You don't try to change me?" Obi-Wan countered. "Then why do you keep trying to fuck me in a comm booth? Why do you always stick your hand down my pants in public, no matter how many times I've asked you not to?"

Bail affected innocence. "That's about my behavior, not yours. I expect you to growl and bitch about it. You never hear me complaining when you do. Besides, if you really didn't want me to do it, you would stop me. You would say, 'Bail, stop that,' and I would stop."

"That is exactly what I say," Obi-Wan growled through clenched teeth. "But you ignore me and do it anyway."

"No, you don't. You go 'Baaaaail!'" the prince sniveled in a high- pitched voice. "Oh, you may gripe and snarl about it, but the truth is you love it when I stick my hand down your pants."

"Is that so?" Obi-Wan exploded, his dander up. "Well, if I love it when you stick your hand down my pants, then you love it when I scold you! I think your role as a responsible senator contradicts your self-image as a young and reckless man-about-town. You want to think you're outrageous, and you need me to stand against you as an icon of propriety. The truth is you're a decent, courteous, well- mannered person. You don't act like such a tart with other people, and you only do it to me because you know I'll make a fuss about it."

Obi-Wan paused in his tirade, scowling fiercely. Bail stared at him, wide-eyed, for several long moments. "Good point," the prince confessed at last, impressed. He nodded his head, as if considering the issue carefully. "I think you may be onto something there."

Obi-Wan was shocked into silence. He hadn't quite expected Bail to agree with him. But Bail's momentary reasonableness passed, and his eyes took on a more familiar leer. "So," he drawled, stepping forward until he was nose-to-nose with Obi-Wan, "you admit you like it when I stick my hand down your pants?"

Flustered, Obi-Wan backpedaled, but Bail pursued him until he found himself backed up against an information kiosk. "I never said that," he objected.

"Oh, yes, you did! But it's all right." Bail dropped his chin, gazing up at Obi-Wan through thick, dark eyelashes. "I won't tell anyone," he purred huskily, as he leaned closer, grinding his hips against the padawan.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, heaving an exasperated sigh as he wriggled in a half-hearted attempt to elude the prince's grasp, but his movement only caused them to rub harder together.

"Come on," Bail whispered into his ear. "Say it."

"Say what?" Obi-Wan snapped at him, his gaze darting around to see if anyone noticed them in the shadows.

"You know what I want to hear."

Those insistent fingers found their way into the waistband of Obi- Wan's pants, and he growled, "Baaaail...," before he even realized what he had said.

The prince answered with a wicked grin, his hand snaking farther down until it wrapped around Obi-Wan's erection. Obi-Wan hissed at the contact, and Bail flicked the tip of his tongue across the padawan's lips. "I love the way you call out my name!" he crowed.