Archive: M_A if you want it, and
http://www.slashcity.com/ciceqi/SWS1.htm
Category: Q/O slash, First Time, Humor. Okay, BAD humor.
Rating: PG? R? implied m/m sex
Disclaimer: Nobody knows the Jedi I've seen / Nobody knows but
Luuuucas...
Warnings: Do warnings for rampant silliness count?
Spoilers: None. Takes place preTPM.
Notes: I do these things waaaaaaay too often... Oh, and Bunny?
You are NOT forgiven...as soon as I figure out who adopted
these muses in the first place, I'm packing them ALL off to the
Chez...
Summary: Late-night study sessions and the miracle of sleep
deprivation.
Feedback: I'm brave, heh...send it on...
Something moved.
"Yaaah!" Obi-Wan heard himself yell as he jerked upright,
slamming his datapad down on the desk and hopefully on top of
the twitching thing he couldn't quite focus his eyes on.
Beside him, En-Kavi jerked awake and leaped out of his chair,
his lightsaber igniting in a single nearly-smooth motion.
"Whenever two or more waves propagate through the same region
of space, they superimpose on each other linearly,
Master!" En-Kavi barked, glazed eyes darting wildly
around the room.
Cautiously, Obi-Wan lifted the datapad, regarding the pitifully
squished remains of a caffbar wrapper now flattened to the
desk. "Oh Force," he groaned, dropping his head down on his
arm.
"Where...where am I?" En-Kavi whispered shakily.
"This is your room," Obi-Wan reminded his friend with a sigh,
rolling his head so he could rest his cheek on his forearm.
En-Kavi's lightsaber was wavering dangerously, he noticed...
"You...ah...you want to put that down, 'Kav?" he asked quietly,
watching En-Kavi's eyes turn suspicious and wary. "I promise,
we're all friends here... That's right...nice and easy...wait,
wait, turn it off first..."
"Oh. Okay," En-Kavi nodded earnestly, then stared at the
lightsaber in his hand with a crumpling expression of terror.
"How?" he demanded, nearly a wail, thrusting his 'saber out
towards Obi-Wan with a quivering lip.
Sith, they'd been studying too damn long...
"Padawan?" came the gentle cough from the door, and En-Kavi
spun instantly, his eyes glazing over again.
"By contrast, where spacetime curvature is strong, the
relativistic laws of gravity predict that the curvature should
be extremely nonlinear, Master!"
"That's good to know," En-Kavi's Master yawned, holding out his
hand. "Why don't you give me that and go to sleep, Padawan..."
"But...but finals," En-Kavi protested weakly, his lower lip
starting to quiver again.
"Don't worry," Master Delerin soothed, and Obi-Wan was
just awake enough to feel a push of the Force in the old
Master's words. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Obi-Wan? Would you
like help back to your quarters?"
"No thank you, Master," he scraped up a smile, one
half-devoured by a yawn of his own. He knew a dismissal when he
heard one...and if he didn't get out of here now, Master
Delerin was liable to call Qui-Gon and tell him to come
retrieve his hapless Padawan. Vaguely, Obi-Wan knew that would
be a Bad Thing--some fleeting memory about the Council and a
lot of yelling from an indiscriminate point in the spacetime
continuum he had to simply label as earlier nagging at
him--and that conviction gave him all the strength he needed to
lever himself to his feet.
And weave for a bit, not unlike a drunken Senator at the end of
a reelection bash.
//I am a Jedi,// Obi-Wan told himself serenely as he waited for
the walls to stop spinning. //I am strong in the Force...//
"Hm--are you sure you wouldn't like me to call your Master,
Obi-Wan?"
//I will now attempt to use the Force to walk a straight
line...// "No, no I'm fine, Master Delerin...just tired...it's
no trouble..."
Straight line, yes... One foot. Another foot. One more foot.
Wait, where did he get the third foot? Maybe he'd borrowed
someone else's. He'd have to remember to thank them
later--without that extra foot, he'd surely have fallen flat on
his face...and look here! He had yet another foot--blessed were
the dispensers of feet to bone-weary Padawans!
"Well, if you're sure," Master Delerin was saying, already
prying his apprentice's numb fingers off the handle of his
still-lit lightsaber. En-Kavi was still muttering hopelessly
under his breath about gravitational waves and curvature
ripples, but he allowed himself to be disarmed and led towards
the bed, twitching only faintly.
"Quite sure, Master," Obi-Wan smiled airily, his confidence
boosted unimaginably by the discovery that he might never run
out of spare feet. This was good, this was very good...even
picturing himself as some sort of braided caterpillar couldn't
faze him now. He'd long been aware of the tendency of Masters
to get maudlin and compare their charges to butterflies, but
this was the first time he'd ever realized there was a grain of
truth in the hopeless cliché... "Good night, 'Kav..."
"...two waveforms because a gravitational wave has two
polarizations..."
So, it was down the hall now...hand holding onto the wall as he
stumbled along, still hopelessly charmed by the miracle of his
continued motion. One foot. Another foot. This was really
fun. He heard someone giggle, so he drew himself up
proudly, glaring around him at the empty hallway...oh, wait, no
one had been laughing at him after all--that had been
his voice, and the realization made him giggle again
before he could clap a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound.
It was obscenely late, after all--no need to disturb the rest
of others as he made his way back to his own room...and
besides, he was a Jedi.
"Jedi don't giggle," he muttered to himself, then decided
stifled snickers were a perfectly appropriate method of Jedi
expression as the absurdity of his talking to himself
penetrated. "Maybe they'll add that to the Code," he mused
happily as he continued to weave his way down the hall, and the
wall, thinking fondly of having left his mark in such a
spectacular way. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge...
There is no passion, there is serenity... Jedi do not giggle,
only snicker... Not bad, for a Padawan.
After years of wandering, he found a door that looked
like his and answered to his door code. It was dark
inside, of course...his Master would have been to sleep ages
ago...now, all he had to do was tiptoe inside, get into bed,
and pray he woke up in time for finals.
The door closed in his face.
Blinking, Obi-Wan keyed in his code again, staring at the lock
panel, the innocuous arch of the doorway, and the darkness
beyond. That was funny--he'd never had a door close on him like
that before...was someone using the Force to play a prank on
him? Had he managed to really annoy his Master somehow?
Was it an omen of some kind?
The door closed in his face again, with a subtle breath of
malicious satisfaction against his cheek.
Well, now, that beat everything. Growling under his breath,
Obi-Wan drew his lightsaber, punched in his code again, and
dropped into a ready crouch. If someone was trying to mess with
his head, they were about to discover the error of toying with
Padawan Kenobi, see if they didn't!
The door wooshed open as Obi-Wan lit his saber, but he jumped
back with another "Yaaaah!" of alarm when he saw his Master
standing just beyond, wearing his strongest I-Am-Not-Amused
expression.
"Padawan, would you care to step inside before the door
closes on you again?" Qui-Gon asked dryly, and Obi-Wan
extinguished his lightsaber with a blush that threatened to set
his hair alight, hiding the doused handle behind his back.
"Yes, Master," he said meekly, ducking quickly inside as the
door snicked shut behind him. He just knew it was
laughing at him, too...
"I take it," Qui-Gon began, crossing his arms and hiding his
hands in the sleeves of his nightrobe, "you were cramming for
finals."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan shrugged one shoulder, wishing Qui-Gon
hadn't turned the lights on. Not that the cover of darkness
would have hidden his feelings of embarrassment, but at
least then he wouldn't have looked like a toddler caught
sneaking out of the creche to schmooze the kitchen staff.
"And do you have any idea what time it is?"
"No, Master," Obi-Wan admitted weakly, though he was fairly
certain Qui-Gon was going to tell him. And it probably wouldn't
do any good to volunteer that, all things being relative, it
was entirely possible that it wasn't as late as Qui-Gon
thought, depending on where they stood in relation to the
nearest gravitational or temporal well...
He was also pretty certain that it was only his imagination
that Qui-Gon's twitched just then. "It's time for all good
Padawans to be in bed," Qui-Gon said more gently, steering him
towards his room in much the same way Master Delerin had done
for En-Kavi.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan agreed humbly. He was just lucky he
hadn't run out of feet getting here...
He caught Qui-Gon giving him an odd look, but that was okay.
Qui-Gon was always giving him odd looks. Usually when he'd come
up with some observation that careened off at right angles to
whatever lesson Qui-Gon had been trying to impart, or when his
admittedly quirky sense of humor reared its head yet
again--though lately, he'd been noticing them at other times,
too. Like when they shared the Temple showers after a long
workout, or when they went swimming together, or that terribly
embarrassing incident on Alderaan involving the Pool of the
Seven Stars, a chocolate mousse, and the Minister of Finance.
That had definitely earned him an odd look, but how was
he to know the water in that pool would react so badly
with human skin, and that mousse certainly had soothed the
worst of the burning...
"Um, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon coughed, and Obi-Wan knew it was
his imagination that his Master looked just slightly flushed.
Maybe even...embarrassed?
Not that Qui-Gon had any reason to be embarrassed--he
hadn't been the one getting chocolate mousse smeared all over
his body in a royal garden under the light of a full moon--
"I'm sorry, Master," Obi-Wan blinked up at Qui-Gon, feeling his
expression melt at the look of obvious distress on his beloved
Master's face. "My shields are gone, aren't they?"
"Er...yes, they are rather...nonexistent," Qui-Gon allowed
kindly, and Obi-Wan did his best to strengthen them, though he
could feel he wasn't entirely successful.
"Sorry, I'm just really, really tired," he apologized as
Qui-Gon got him into his bedroom, pulling the lightsaber from
his hand and laying it carefully aside. "I can do better,
honest..."
"I know you can, Padawan," Qui-Gon soothed, sitting him down on
the bed and beginning to tug off his boots. It seemed strange
and wrong somehow to see his Master kneeling before him
like this--after all, he was the Padawan here--but at
the same time, it was rather...
Qui-Gon glanced up warily, and Obi-Wan blinked, wondering where
in the Force he had been going with that thought. Obviously,
his brain was too full of inspirals and ringdowns
and...and...there was that odd look again...
"Get some sleep, Padawan," Qui-Gon said gruffly, rising quickly
and beating what Obi-Wan would have sworn was a swift retreat.
Sighing, he stretched out on his bed fully-clothed, fully
expecting to drop off the moment his head hit the pillow.
His head hit the pillow right on schedule, but sleep, however,
eluded him. Dimly, he realized he was in the regrettable
position of being too tired to sleep. Or maybe too
wired--that had been the wrapper of the tenth caffbar of the
evening that he'd killed, and he'd lost track of how many pots
of high-octane triple-strength Awake Tea he'd slammed over the
last three days... Lifting one of his hands slowly, he was
unsurprised to find it trembling just slightly, rather like the
vibrations of a struck tuning fork. Hmm. He probably wasn't
going to be getting any sleep any time soon.
Which left him time to think, and maybe skin out of his
uniform, if he could just remember which way was up... Sighing,
he unfastened his belt while still on his back, wondering what
had sent his Master running out of here so quickly. Maybe
hearing his Padawan's thoughts was more annoying than Qui-Gon
had let on before. And what had he been thinking when
Qui-Gon had given him that most recent odd look? //After all,
we weren't swimming,// he reflected, wrestling his arms out of
his robes and tunics so he could pull them over his head. //Or
in the showers, or getting an emergency chocolate rubdown...
Actually,// he frowned, arching his hips off the bed so he
could wriggle out of his loose pants, //I wasn't naked at all
this time. Weird.//
Kicking his pants over the edge of the bed, Obi-Wan lay
sprawled where he was, arms and legs spread out any which way
as he stared up at the ceiling. He had a new question,
suddenly...why was being given an odd look while he was still
clothed weird to him?
//Maybe because he was on his knees,// Obi-Wan thought
dreamily, rising with the intent of heading into the 'fresher
for a quick, soothing shower, //right there at my feet, close
enough for me to reach out and tangle his gorgeous hair in my
fists and pull him close, close enough to kiss, close enough to
make him moan and find out if the legendary Qui-Gon Jinn
likes--//
"Yaaah!" he yelled as he opened his door and found Qui-Gon
standing there, his Master's face drawn and pale.
"Padawan," Qui-Gon growled dangerously, though the effect was
spoiled by the way Qui-Gon wouldn't quite look at him, his eyes
fastened somewhere over Obi-Wan's left shoulder. He looked
embarrassed again, his white face sporting a touch of hectic
color in his cheeks, eyes shadowed, voice strained.
Funny...Qui-Gon's embarrassment looked an awful lot like most
people's arousal... "If you're having trouble sleeping, I can
fix that..."
Blinking, Obi-Wan tried to hear a threat in that, but he
just couldn't manage it. It was probably the fault of The
Growl. It was just so damned...sexy.
"Padawan...."
No, really, it was just incredibly attractive, how his
Master's voice dropped into that rough snarl, like honey over
diamonds, rich and dark and edible...very edible...just
like Qui-Gon himself, though he couldn't imagine why his Master
was letting Obi-Wan back him into the common room like this,
past the sofa and up against the wall...
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon tried again, his voice almost plaintive,
though it certainly didn't sound enough like a refusal to be
worrisome.
"I can't sleep," Obi-Wan said seriously. "I've been up for
three days, I've had enough stimulants to register my blood as
an over-the-counter drug, and if you plugged me in to one, I
could power the hyperdrive of a small spaceship. Look at
me," he sighed, spreading his arms helplessly as Qui-Gon did
just that. "I'm in dire need of assistance, Master."
"W-would you like me to put you to sleep?" Qui-Gon asked
hopefully, even the half-hearted threat stripped from his
voice.
"I would like you to help me burn off this excess
energy," Obi-Wan smiled instead, and Qui-Gon swallowed, hard.
"You're my Padawan," Qui-Gon shook his head, but he was
weakening fast, Obi-Wan could hear it in his voice.
"Congratulations," he purred up at his Master, "you get a gold
star. Now..." he grinned as he slid his hands inside Qui-Gon's
nightrobe, "where shall we put it...? This may require testing,
of course..."
"Ah," Qui-Gon sighed as his robe fell from his shoulders,
Obi-Wan's hands lightly tracking back down his chest, just the
tips of his fingers smoothing over warm skin. "Will it?"
"Oh yes. You know, this could be most educational...and here I
thought I was done with studying and experiments for the
evening..."
"It's never to late to learn," Qui-Gon offered gamely as
Obi-Wan bent his head to add taste to touch, determined to
become an expert on this most fascinating subject as soon as
possible.
"I was hoping you'd say that," Obi-Wan murmured against silken
flesh, debating whether or not he should warn his Master just
how much energy he had to spare.
Then again, this was Finals Week. Who needed sleep?
***
end
***
Notes2: "inspiral" = section of a waveform produced by the
coalescence of two black holes with oscillating strains that
gradually grow in amplitude and frequency; "ringdown" = section
of a waveform consisting of oscillations with fixed frequency
and gradually dying amplitude. Get your minds out of the
gutter, grinning...
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