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Archive: M-A and my own site only please. http://www.insomniacsdream.com/Batagur/Batagur_page.html

Category: Story, Pre-slash, G

Spoilers: Maybe a little for Episode II and the JA books.

Disclaimer: Mr. Lucas owns them and the right to turn a profit off them. I just get to borrow them from time to time and I don't get a dime from it.

Summary: Young Qui-Gon Jinn accompanies his unconventional ex- Master Dooku on a mission to retrieve Jedi hopefuls for the crèche.

Beta'd by Bonny and Briony! Am I ever lucky to have such brave and heroic betas! (my writing style is confusing at best; atrocious at worst!) Many thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow.

And thanks to my Master Sage everyone in the Clan Smut. Thanks for the encouragement.

Author's note: My husband and his new pastime of reading Nietzsche to our four-month-old daughter every night inspired this tiny ficlet.

He was a great man and a great sophist. There were days when Qui-Gon admired his former master for the deep philosophical and critical thinker that he was. However, there were days when he wondered why it was that Master Dooku ever bothered to become a Jedi.

Qui-Gon Jinn sat in the co-pilot seat of the small freighter that they had hired out of Vegen-Par. His head was propped on a hand and his elbow resting on his arm that crossed his broad chest as he slouched in his seat. The stars streaked past trailing long tails of pure white ending in a prism's emission of colors. It was breathtaking…unless, like Qui-Gon, you had seen it a couple hundred of times.

Qui-Gon's mind was not on the vista of hyperspace. It was on the enigma of his former master. Dooku was a strong-willed man full to the brim with wisdom and patience but he was also full of radical notions that he set before the Council like tossed pearls before swine. Not that Qui-Gon though any one in the Council was deficient in any way. Dooku, on the other hand, had his own opinion of the collective mental capacity of the Council. Qui-Gon could not understand why his master chose to incense the Council so often and over so little.

They had just stopped at the small planet of Serenno, his master's home world, for some errand that his master chose to be vague about. Qui-Gon did not pry right away. He learned long ago that if his master meant for him to know what he was up to, he would tell him in due time. Nevertheless, not knowing what his master was up to drove Qui-Gon to distraction. He was puzzled as to what his master had to do that would cause him to make a day's diversion to the small sovereign planet. Serenno was one of the republics few remaining true monarchies and the elder Jedi was a kinsman of the royal lineage. When he had finally asked his master, he received no verbal reply. He instead was the victim of a long demeaning stare. It was amazing how effectively his Master could stare down his long regal nose at him, even when Qui-Gon was taller than the man by at least two tenths of a meter.

Qui-Gon sat next to the Corellian pilot who spoke very little and simply called himself Dano. Despite knowing Dano and his laconic nature for all of three days, Qui-Gon felt he understood this man better than he understood his former master of eight years. In fact, they sat in a comfortable silence, Dano writing in his star charts and rudder log, Qui-Gon silently brooding over his last discussion with his master…

"You don't trust me!" Qui-Gon's strong brow pushed down over his eyes and a recalcitrant glint wrote itself over the dark blue gaze that he gave his master.

"Qui-Gon Jinn, you are a knight who is years past his trials. Do not make me refute your claims to knighthood on the grounds of immaturity. Do not sulk at me like a child. We have children aplenty as it is on this ship. Shall I present you to the crèche with them?" Dooku replied. Never once did he look up from the datapad he was reading. It looked to be a treatise of some sort. Dooku spent a great deal of what free time they had reading and writing philosophical treatise.

"Master, it is not immaturity to ask one's master why it was so very necessary to divert from our mission for a whole day for an unplanned stop," Qui-Gon asked in a tone that was more respectful.

Dooku put aside his pad and regarded his former apprentice with an even, careful stare. "I certainly hope that your padawans of the future are never as contumacious and refractory as you certainly have been. It may not be immaturity but it sounds speciously of insecurity. Nevertheless, it is possible that a master may have something in his life that is none of his onetime-padawan's business."

Qui-Gon shifted on his feet in a somewhat uncertain manner, but his voice was steady and sedate. "I apologize, Master, if I offended."

With that and a small perfunctory bow, Qui-Gon had turned away from his former master. He then went to the cabin reserved for the children and checked on them. All three were fast asleep in their little cots. Qui-Gon checked each of them with care, tucking in covers and patting small heads with a gentle hand. He then moved on to the relative quiet of the ship's bridge to meditate on his failed conversation. He knew that Dano would not disturb him.

It was stupidity to think he would ever know now what his master was up to. At any rate, maybe it just wasn't any of his business. When Dooku had agreed to take him as his padawan, there had been no rule that stipulated that Qui-Gon needed to be privy to every little nuance of his master's life and affairs. Even now, he was under no obligation to make Qui-Gon his total confidant. It was enough that he still trusted him to guard his back on certain missions. And while Dooku had been Qui-Gon's master, he had encouraged Qui-Gon to be a free thinker as well. Dooku never poked and probed at Qui-Gon's life and his dealings. It made Qui-Gon feel, to a degree, that the elder man trusted him. Yet to a lesser degree, it also showed Qui-Gon how little his master often bothered to know his padawan's mind.

He would debate philosophies with him. He would seek his opinion on mission tactics and dynamics. But Dooku never once asked him such a simple question as, 'how is your social life?' He obviously knew that his padawan had one. Never once had Dooku asked him about it.

Fair enough, Qui-Gon thought. It was pointless to ruminate over something that was basically superfluous. Once he had passed the trials and had moved on to knighthood, his association with Dooku had changed. He knew less of his master than ever before. Dooku was a private man and he kept none of his former padawans in his confidence. He had very few relationships with in the temple as it was. Admire him though he did, Qui-Gon never felt close to him as perhaps other padawans felt about their masters. Perhaps it was the way he would almost graciously insult him from time to time. Qui-Gon knew that his master favored his strength of conviction but he seemed to have antipathy for Qui-Gon's compassionate streak. Despite his attempts to appease his master, Qui-Gon could never just turn his compassion off.

Qui-Gon unfolded himself from his sulk and looked over at Dano. The older man was still consumed with marking his run positions in his charts. The seasoned pilot was meticulous and precise. Precision was a virtue that Dooku admired. Qui-Gon tended to be more accurate than precise according to Dooku. Trying to work that little flaw out of his padawan left Dooku perplexed. Qui-Gon didn't understand.

"Accurate is the state of being close to within so many minuscule points and remaining uniformly close. Precise is being completely and without deviation correct, " Dooku would argue. "One may be close and remain accurate. One may be wrong and remain accurate if one is consistent. Precision is the virtue of being very correct; even if it is only once."

Qui-Gon leaned slightly to peek at what Dano was computing in his charts. "Are we still set to arrive in about two days?" he asked the man.

"Yep," the pilot answered in a low mumble. "Barring any more unplanned detours…" The pilot's normally apathetic rumblings actually sounded a little put-out this time. No doubt he was upset by the master's strange request for a deviation in their trip. It had been relatively short.

Qui-Gon sat back as he gave a small sigh of comprehension and sympathy. There was little more he would get from the pilot though. That single mumbled statement was the apex of Dano's emotional out pouring. Therefore, Qui-Gon decided to call it a day. He stood up from his chair and gave Dano a companionable pat on his shoulder as he walked from the small bridge. Dano only turned his head in his direction for a second to acknowledge the gesture.

Qui-Gon decided to just go to bed. He shared his room with their three small charges. Qui-Gon knew that he was a better choice for caretaker for the children than his former master. It wasn't that his master was a cruel man or that he disliked children. It was just that he was the type of person who essentially could not understand children. He was far too much the thinker to be able to come down to the simplicity of a child's mind. Qui-Gon, on the contrary, always fancied that he himself would have made a wonderful father if he had not been tapped for the Jedi when he was only a child of two.

There was something strangely beautiful in the simple logic of a child that appealed to Qui-Gon. The universe was complex but the heart of a child could boil it down to its essentials. As a child grows into the complexity of the universe, he loses the ability to see the simple solutions and follow his instincts. Qui-Gon often felt that growing up was the basic flaw in the training of a Jedi. As the years rolled by he felt less and less connected to the Living Force as he had been when he had been a small, uninhibited child.

Qui-Gon slipped carefully into the small chamber where the three children, two humans and a bothan, slept. He looked at his charges one last time before he sought his own bed. The small human girl was a tow-headed fair child of about eighteen months. She was the youngest and she slept peacefully with her thumb half stuck in her mouth from where she had been sucking it as she fell asleep. They had found her on Corellia where her parents reported to them that she had the ability to motivate small objects to her hand if she desired them badly enough. To be able to move objects with the Force required good focus. That was unusual to find in one so small.

The next cot contained the young bothan who was three standard years. His inner clan reported that he had an uncanny knack of finding anything that was lost. They said it was as if he could see the object and where it was. He could describe the place where the object was with incredible accuracy. This was a normal first trait for parents to find in a Force-sensitive child. This one would have a strong connection with the Living Force.

The last of the three was a small boy with hair the color of sunshine and happy blue eyes. He often looked up at Qui-Gon with a look that was a mixture of awe and merriment. He seemed to be very taken by Qui-Gon and wanted the Jedi's attention. His parents had reported that the boy seemed to know what you were thinking before you could express it. He had often surprised his parents by anticipating what they desired of him. As a trait, this was a bit more obscure. It did not always mean that the owner was Force-sensitive but the boy tested out all right and he would be presented to the crèche. He was only three standard years old.

They were all fast asleep still and no doubt dreaming of happy things. They were still young; their connection to the Force was still unblemished by the complexities of living in this universe. Right now, each of them had the potential to be the greatest Jedi that ever existed.

Dooku would have laugh at him for this thought. He believed that the inverse was true: It was our struggle through life that built strength but also brought forth the flaws that cripple. To the master, each of these children had the potential to become the greatest disasters to ever be turned out from the crèche.

"The Jedi lie somewhere between non-sentient and super-sentient. The Jedi stand closer to supersentient than other sentients. The path we travel through to super-sentient is called life. You should embrace the journey, my onetime-padawan, instead of trying to hold on to your childhood. The strength comes from the overcoming."

"But Master, " Qui-Gon had replied, "it is on the journey that we meet the virulence of greed, envy and oppression. It's on the journey that the brushes with the vice and sins of the bureaucracy and the establishment and the oligarchy can mar the soul. The stain of insecurity and inadequately lies therein."

Dooku had then sat back for a moment as he carefully considered his padawan's well-spoken words. "But to not know the vices and their taint is to deny what is real. One must overcome all that is out there to find the road of the super-sentient. That road is not conceivable for a mere child. The child must become an adult at least in spirit. However, it has been my experience that there are many 'adults in spirit' that are still children in age."

Qui-Gon had pondered his master's words for many days during their journey before he decided that perhaps Dooku had a point. Still, Dooku was always pointing to this 'super-sentient' that he claimed the Jedi came the closest to. His writings in philosophy often mentioned it. It was part of his belief that the Jedi should not serve the old and decaying Republic. The super-sentient was above the old and corrupt bureaucracy, which was large and unwieldy, an easy place to hide profiteering and vice. The Republic was slow and often confounding in how it dealt with sentient rights issues. It was inconsistent, mercurial and unproductive at best. In fact, Dooku felt that the Republic should be made to serve the Jedi. This was the part that Qui-Gon never understood.

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and banished further thoughts of his master from his mind. The more he thought of Dooku, the closer he came to a shocking and negative conclusion--He was not sure he liked his former master. He had spent twelve years in his company as his apprentice and two more as a fellow knight. The easiest years were the first five. After that, the awe and veneration wore off.

For the next two days, Qui-Gon spent most of his time with the children and they were delighted to have him. All three recognized something basic within the tall young warrior that was nurturing. They seemed to love him right away. During those days he found himself handing out hugs and smiles more than he ever had in all his years since leaving the crèche himself.

He enjoyed discovering the new and exciting minds before him. Each of them had a dynamism all their own that Qui-Gon could almost see, like an aura about them. Little Siri was an intense child, indeed, full of focus for all of eighteen months. He could sit her before a simple puzzle or a maze game of any sort and it would consume her attention until it was solved. The little tow-headed girl worked independently and seemed to like it that way. If the other children tried to get involved, she would brush them away impatiently but not disdainfully.

That was just fine for little Ute. He was all activity, running about the cabin excitedly with whatever toy absorbed his attention for the moment. He couldn't be bothered with something as boring and sedentary as a puzzle. This small one longed for sport and play. Qui-Gon found himself quite often fending off mock attacks and upending him much to the little one's delight, which he voiced in loud squeaks and squeals. This was not unusual for bothan play. Roughhouse was the rule. Yet the little one seemed to go easy on his two human companions. He didn't bother little Siri at all as if he sensed her too young for such rough play. However, he saw little Obi-Wan as 'fair game'.

Then there was Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon found himself calling the fair child Ab'aisling, an endearment from his native tongue. Obi-Wan was the same age as Ute and almost just as big. Ute domineered the smaller boy but never unkindly. Obi-Wan, however, was a quiet young man, mostly. He was very caring and considerate, he seemed very aware of what was 'fair', and never took more than what he thought was just that. But the little one could not help himself in one area--He wanted more than his fair share of Qui-Gon's attention. Fortunately for him, Siri was independent and Ute was absorbed in action. There was plenty of time to crawl up into the big man's lap and talk. Obi-Wan talked. Qui-Gon listened.

Often Obi-Wan talked to Qui-Gon in a quiet and serious voice telling him nothing in particular but it always seemed important to Obi-Wan at the time. Qui-Gon was quiet, mostly just listening, learning, and responding as needed.

"I saw a big starship in the sky once and daddy said that it was probably going to Coruscant…Are we going to Coruscant? Do all starship go there? I saw a picture once. It was pretty." Obi-Wan ended his statement with a sweeping gesture of his hand for emphasis.

Qui-Gon chuckled softly because the gesture so reminded him of the ritualistic gestures they were all taught to use while employing mind-tricks. He then answered the question embedded in the little one's ramblings. "Yes, Ab'aisling, we are going to Coruscant. And no, not all starships go there."

"I liked Coruscant 'cause it was pretty. I like looking at pictures. Do you?"

"Pictures can be nice." Qui-Gon offered the boy a diplomatic answer. That was a mistake. His Ab'aisling saw right through him.

"Are there ugly pictures? Have you seen them? Are there ugly things where we are going?" the boy asked as a little frown crossed his brow.

The quick and observant youngster caught Qui-Gon. "Unfortunately, my little friend, there are ugly things everywhere. We must face them for what they are…or are not," he answered simply.

"Maybe they all aren’t really ugly," the boy said cryptically as he fidgeted with his hands.

Qui-Gon smiled. "Maybe they aren't." His Ab'aisling was so very quick to understand what it was that Qui-Gon was trying to tell his little heart. What may seem ugly on the outside may not be so bad with in.

It was then that Dooku walked in ending Qui-Gon's quiet conversation with Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon shooed the boy off his lap with a gentle shove and the soft words, "go play," placed against his ear. The little boy obeyed running off towards Ute to play a game of blasters and fortresses. Qui-Gon stood to meet his former master.

"Interesting child?" Dooku asked his former apprentice.

Qui-Gon nodded absently as he considered Obi-Wan. "He is a good child. He is observant and not easily fooled. He has much to offer. And he has compassion."

"Another Jedi tragedy in the making," Dooku said coolly as he watched the young lad play. "Compassion is not always a virtue."

Qui-Gon offered his master a piercing stare. "Explain."

Dooku gave a short sigh that suggested that he found Qui-Gon's lack of understanding tiresome. "Compassion is the great blindfold that covers the eyes of a Jedi's objectivity. This little one that you prize so well for his compassion is likely to make foolish decisions out of compassion. Compassion is after all a 'passion'. For a Jedi, all passions must be, in the end, suspect."

"But you have always told me, Master, that the path to the super-sentient lies with in the true and unique experiences of life. Is not compassion a part of this?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Yes, but so are vice, avarice, greed, deceit, and contempt. We should recognize and embrace the flaws of our souls as uniquely our own. Then we must rise above them, use them as a foundation to become the true sentient, the super-sentient. For what is it to be sentient but to be self-aware?" Dooku inquired. "The super-sentient is super self-aware. His awareness is above the flaws of his being. Never blind yourself to your passions, padawan. But never let your passions blind you."

Qui-Gon turned his head to watch Obi-Wan once more. He couldn't help but feel his master was wrong about this boy. His compassion would someday be his strength. Qui-Gon had never, by his own desires, turned away from his own compassion and he valued it in others. It was a well-known thought among the philosophical that the universe could be a better place if everyone act on his or her compassion.

"The universe is not fair," Dooku continued as if he sensed the course of Qui-Gon's thoughts. "At its most basic elements, bad things happen often within the universe. These things happen injudiciously and without regard. The universe is capricious and random. It gives here. It takes there. There is no compassion in it. And no amount of compassion will change it. In the end, the ability to change the universe lies within the creature strong enough to master himself."

Dooku then gestured to the human and the bothan at play. "These are cogs in the system of life as we all are. But look to this child here." And here he gestured to Siri. "This one is on her way towards the single most difficult conquest. The conquest of self."

"Perhaps." Qui-Gon responded as he looked down on the smaller child. "But within Siri I have also seen focus that one may consider too intense. She can be single-minded to a fault and miss the forest for looking through the trees. She has also shown a propensity to obstinacy."

"And you are not so willful, young knight?" Dooku let a smirk touch his mouth. "I merely said she was on her way. The journey is very far from over. And you are right. She has character faults that she must first overcome. Her first step will be in the realization of them. That step cannot be taken until she understands what it is that others see when they look at her. This is all essential in life's journey."

"But what if she refuses to see, Master? What if her stubbornness make her blind to her faults?" Qui-Gon asked.

"A common affliction of the strong-minded." Dooku responded. "A common affliction among the weak-willed as well. Often the mirror reflects what will not hurt us; the things we can tolerate in ourselves be they vice or virtue. It is hard to turn oneself about to face oneself. The super-sentient has. It is a lonely place to be."

Qui-Gon considered this. It would be lonely in a universe where one was above the silliness and unpredictable absurdity of others. Qui-Gon preferred the comfort of the rabble. Though he would never say this out loud to his master.

Just then, little Obi-Wan rushed over to where the two men stood. He wrapped small arms about Qui-Gon's leg and gave it a hug.

"Qui-Gon!" The small golden-haired child called up for his attention.

"Yes, Ab'aisling?" Qui-Gon looked down the length of his body to the bright-eyed child that clung to him affectionately.

"Watch me!" The child disengaged himself so that he could do a series of lopsided cartwheels for Qui-Gon's amusement. Qui-Gon smiled warmly in response.

"This child could love you," Dooku said dispassionately.

"He's just a very young child looking for approval," Qui-Gon replied.

"No doubt he is," Dooku replied, "but there is more in him than that."

"He relates to me as a father figure?" Qui-Gon guessed.

"Perhaps…"Dooku said thoughtfully. "It is not important though. He may persevere through the training of the crèche to see padawanship…He many not. The Force only knows. By that time you will have forgotten his name."

"Perhaps," replied Qui-Gon. "Perhaps I will not."

"That is up to time to tell," Dooku said. "But tell me this, onetime-padawan. Say one day, although fate did not offer you the opportunity to train this young one, you came across him again as a man. Do you think he will still love you?"

"Why do you ask?" Qui-Gon looked at his master puzzled.

"It is an exercise in the will of the Force and the strength of life's journey. I ask you again, will he love you?"

"That depends," Qui-Gon answered with a shrug. "He is a child now. Once he is a man, he will have changed."

"What if I told you that no one truly changes in essence? The appearance of change is superficial at best," Dooku replied. "At the heart of him, this child senses you with the ability given him from the Force. It is easy to see why you believe that the young are untarnished in their ability to be aware of the Force. But I tell you that that degree of awareness can not diminish. It can be ignored or it can be heightened. If this boy chooses self-awareness, if he heightens himself in the Force, you may find that when you meet again, he will still love you."

"It is the will of the Force that he loves you," Dooku continued when Qui-Gon said nothing. "But it is his journey through life that will determine what he does with that love."

"He will be a Jedi," Qui-Gon said as he watched the youngster right himself to begin a new tumbling routine. "He will be the master of his passions and the authority of his own will. And he will have compassion."

"Yes. A pity, isn't it…" Dooku said flatly.

Qui-Gon turned to stare at his master as he tried to swallow his irritation in vain. "You denunciate compassion and yet you still tolerate me. I have never been able to turn away my compassion."

"And those were the times when you were the most useless to me, padawan," Dooku responded smoothly. "You will find in time that a clear head, unclouded by romantic notions will get you further towards the goals of our good work as Jedi. Someday some unrealistic romantic dream of your padawan's will fall in the way of a mission and then you will look back and mark my words."

Qui-Gon fought an urge to roll his eyes. Oh I doubt that, master, Qui-Gon thought, for I shall never be a dried up, peevish old fool as you. But Qui-Gon did remember that Dooku never stood in the way of his right to express himself and to be a free thinker. Dooku may have felt despondently about his compassion but he never begrudged Qui-Gon the right to feel and express it.

A small weight struck Qui-Gon's leg and he was wrapped once more in a tiny embrace. "Qui-Gon!"

"Not all padawans are idealist. Very few are even dreamers. The crèche teaches us application to our duty." Qui-Gon replied.

"Qui-Gon!"

Dooku raised an eyebrow at his former padawan. "Youth breeds idealistic sentiment. Every padawan comes out of the crèche and into a master's tutelage thinking, 'I will change the galaxy!' It is the nature of things. It is the nature of the young. Naiveté can result from having only run a short distance in life's journey."

"Qui-Gon!"

"But there are those who do not act this way. There are those who know their limitations."

"Qui-Gon!"

"And these that you speak of, my onetime-padawan, you will not find in the Temple. These are the children of oppression, of want, of persecution. These have traveled in great leaps over the rest in life's journey. These have seen more of life's bitterness than what is even reasonable for an adult's eyes. No, padawan, these children are not in the Temple, and it is well that they should not be."

"Why, my Master?"

"They have already known defeat. That lesson is too ingrained in them."

Qui-Gon's brow drew in as he thought. This time he just knew his former master was wrong. In his travels as a Jedi, Qui-Gon had met many an extraordinary individual who had risen from oppression with tremendous inner strength. Any one of these beings he felt would have had much to offer the Jedi as any other fresh young initiate. Qui-Gon gathered breath to argue his point but was distracted by small hands batting impatiently at his knees.

"Qui-Gon! Qui-Gon! Qui-Gon!"

Qui-Gon stooped down to take the small boy up into his arms. He settled the child on his hip. "Patience, Ab'aisling," he said gently.

"You favor this boy." Dooku said unexpectedly, with mild interest. Somewhat dismayed, Qui-Gon looked over at his former master, wide-eyed and stunned. He had no response.

"You have given him an endearment. Have you given the others such?" Dooku asked.

Qui-Gon opened his mouth and then shut it again. He had called little Ute, 'action', 'fireball', and 'champ'. He had called Siri, 'star-eyes', 'little sage', and 'grave –girl'. But only Obi-Wan alone was 'Ab'aisling'.

"I call them all by pet-names," Qui-Gon admitted. It was true.

"Yes, but what does that word mean…Ab'aisling… Perfect child? Dream child?" Dooku muttered as he reflected on the word. He then looked at his former padawan with a look that should have been a shrug if he allowed himself such base gestures. "I often forget the nuances of your native language."

"It is just a name people call good children is all," Qui-Gon replied as he returned the young boy to the floor with a gentle push to send him on his way. A note of defensiveness had tainted the tone of his reply.

Dooku waved his hand in a brusque dismissive manner. "Oh, no doubt."

It was beyond obvious to Qui-Gon that his former master was suggesting that he was giving too much favor to this 'child who loved him'. Perhaps he was. Was that so wrong at this point in Obi-Wan's young life. Soon he would be with the crèche, and soon he would be taught and trained as a Jedi. What did it matter now in his infancy if one lone Jedi Knight showed him a little kindness and attention?

Once again Dooku spoke as if he had read the very tenor of Qui-Gon's thoughts. "Often the attention which we experience from a single person during our childhood can forever color and influence how we experience others. This is why people learned in mind-healing call these the years of childhood the impressionable years. You could become the quintessential model of a Jedi Knight that he will aspire to become…The archetypal Jedi Knight that he will measure all others against. An interesting place to put yourself into, ex-padawan."

"I do not wish to be another person's ideal." Qui-Gon said quietly as his frown of concern deepened.

"It is too late to regret," Dooku pointed out. "You are doomed to be a roll model. This comes with the territory of being a Jedi. It will not just be this boy, but also hundreds and thousands of beings that will look upon you and your status as a Knight and see something larger than the man whom stands in his boots before them. And that is how it should be. We are more. We work very hard to be more. There is nothing wrong with that."

"That does not make it any more comfortable to bear," Qui-Gon replied softly.

"We are not in the business of comfort." Dooku then looked thoughtful for a moment. He watched the children at play. With a contemplative sigh, he looked at his former padawan. "As long as there are enviable jobs, there will be people to envy those who hold them, be it system Senator, Galactic Republic Elite Guard or Jedi Knight. All that we can do is live up to the expectations placed upon our positions."

The Jedi Master then turned and left the common area. Qui-Gon remained watching the children. The larger questions of envy and admiration, although ever present in a Jedi's life, had always been farthest from Qui-Gon's mind. It only mattered to him that he was the best Jedi Knight that he could be and that he served the Council and Republic well. After all, was that not the primary objective of the Jedi Knights?

However, what was it to be a roll model? Could not a good example serve both Council and Republic as well? If Qui-Gon could influence one small boy to serve well, then he too has served.

Then again, that is what masters are for. Qui-Gon was no one's master…yet. Still, as he watched little Obi-wan at play he wondered if he had what it took to be the master of such a bright and beautiful child. Someday Obi-Wan will be a boy of proper age to take on the responsibilities of being a master's padawan learner. Qui-Gon wondered if his little bright eyed Ab'aisling would still be 'a perfect child'.

Dano informed Qui-Gon first as they made their final approach to Courscant. Qui-Gon was not surprised at the impolite gesture. It was customary to inform the Senior Jedi unless you have been specifically asked not to. Still incensed by the unplanned diversion, Dano was only acting out on his passive/aggressive impulses. Although not surprised by the behavior, Qui-Gon was slightly annoyed that the pilot was still miffed. His attitude seemed unfounded. Master Dooku had told him that he would be compensated for any delays.

Dooku seemed unfazed by the impertinence of their pilot. On the whole, the Master seemed indifferent to just about everything. That was just like Dooku however. Qui-Gon found his attitude not so much founded in Jedi serenity as in aloof self-regard. Whether it was from his parentage, influences from a distant childhood, or notions contrived from his own master Yoda, Dooku had a conceit about himself that made him ignore the pettiness of other beings about him as beneath his concern. Qui-Gon would never suggest these small thoughts to his former master though. It was not worth listening to the lecture, the sheer barrage of words the man would give him to inform him that his reasoning was silly while his own attitude was correct for a proper Jedi. Why would any Jedi concern themselves with the unimportant whines of others when there were broader issues at hand? What those issues were at this moment, Qui-Gon did not know, and from the looks of things he may never find out.

When Qui-Gon came into the presence of his master, Dooku appeared to have just sending off a short communication. Who the recipient was and what his master had said Dooku would never reveal. His obstinacy was legendary among the Jedi and it was futile for Qui-Gon to even try to gain even a small dribble of information. Perhaps it was time that Qui-Gon mined his own business. The master had been right; a master may have some things in his life that were none of his padawan's affairs. He left his master's presence resigned to this evolving rule of silence.

The fact that Qui-Gon was no longer his padawan learner made it sensible of him to remove himself from the man's dealings. He should try to trust Dooku better.

That thought made him pause as went to gather up the children and get them ready for their final decent. Hadn't he trusted his master before? His master had never given him any real reason to distrust him. A Jedi's loyalties were simple: serve the Council and serve the Republic. If a Jedi does these two things, and knows that his fellow Jedi are doing these two things, then there is no need for mistrust. Perhaps…

And that was the point. Dooku's view of the Republic and his philosophy on service to the same were, well, to say the least, different from traditional Jedi teachings. For those who knew him well enough and never questioned his competence as a Jedi, there was still a loyalty and trust issue that none of them touched. Certainly Qui-Gon was not willing to tread those waters. If one questioned Dooku, one might as well question any Jedi who at one time has been either weak enough or bold enough to say; "The system is flawed". Certainly they had all thought it at some point in their careers. Qui-Gon knew that he had done so on any number of occasions. Did that make him disloyal? Inversely, did the fact that Dooku spoke up just make him more daring?

To move through one's life without fear, to speak ones mind not caring about reprisal, these were goals to work towards, Qui-Gon mused. It was his last and best reason to still admire his former master. Dooku lived without fear. That made him free.

In the large common room compartment of the ship, Qui-Gon marshaled the children into loading the toys they had brought into a small anti-gravity crate. Each of them were enthusiastic and very cooperative, picking up the scattered playthings and tossing them into the plastoid container that hovered just four inches from the ground.

Qui-Gon had expected nervousness from the children now that they neared their destination. However, for the most part, both human children seemed excited and cheerful. The bothan, Ute, on the other hand was a little anxious. His anxiety showed in the way his broad nose twitched and his tufted mane stood bristled on his head and the back of his neck. Qui-Gon took a moment from the hubbub to sit with the little bothan on his lap. He stroked back his head tufts and spoke gently to him.

"Do you miss your inner clan?" he asked the youngster.

The little one only shook his head in reply, then laid his large furry head against Qui-Gon's chest. Qui-Gon continued to stroke his head. There was nothing more to say. He could reassure the bothan but what use would it be. He would still miss his family regardless of how nice the crèche keepers and docents were, and he would probably miss them for some time until he learned to find his comfort from within. External comfort was nice but it was the internal comfort that ultimately had the power to heal. Qui-Gon chose only to console the little bothan by soothing touch and mere substantial presence. As he continued to hold the little one to soothe his worry, it was Obi-Wan who came forward to Ute and spoke words of encouragement. Qui-Gon had not expected that.

"It's okay. Don't be sad," the young boy said as he patted the bothan's hand.

Compassion. This little one, this Ab'aisling had it. It was there. It was present in his large caring eyes and in his gentle touch on the bothan's hand. It was present in his tiny frown that caused his small lower lip to turn down slightly. It made his eyes shine bright with unshed tears of sympathy. Yet as Qui-Gon watched him, he wondered how long it would take a master like Dooku to wipe that flaw clean from the boy. Certainly his former master lamented the fact that he had not totally eradicated the emotion from Qui-Gon.

Go ahead and care, Obi-Wan-Ab'aisling, Qui-Gon thought, care if you will. If only we all did as well…

It was on the landing pad before the temple that Qui-Gon, in a fit of perverse curiosity, finally mentioned the incident to his master as an argument in compassion's favor. He was not surprised when he heard his reply. As he listened to the master drone on, Qui-Gon wondered why he even bothered. Yet, he listened intently

"Compassion may seem noble, Qui-Gon, but it is a crippling flaw," the master said as they watched the crèche keepers usher the children into the temple before them. "To care too much is to allow the fates and fortunes of others cloud your objectivity. I do not say to be a stone. Nevertheless, one must step back from emotion and see the larger picture before focusing on the suffering of this individual or that individual. It is that tight focus that has caused greatest wrong to many for the sake of a few. Surely you can see this."

"Yes, Master." Qui-Gon replied obediently as he tucked his hands into the sleeves of his travel robe.

"Further, you will find as you become a master that there are not enough words and ways to teach many of the things that you wish to impart to your learner. One of these things will be the flaw of compassion. How do you explain to anyone who has not seen the flaw at work that sometimes caring to strongly for other's struggles and sorrows can cause greater harm than good? Even now I see that you do not understand this."

Qui-Gon's head turned and he looked at his master with interest.

"Yes, I see it, Qui-Gon. I have not taught you this lesson for there is nothing else for it but to live it…as with many lessons. Someday, my ex-padawan learner, you will fail to teach many things to many padawans for there are just not enough words in any language and not enough time in a lifetime for all the learning that must be done."

After that Qui-Gon was quiet as they walk down the wide silent halls of the outer temple heading inward, the children and the crèche keepers just ahead of them. Ultimately Master Dooku was right in one regard. There was never enough time.

Perhaps he would fail to teach everything he wished to teach to his prospective students. Perhaps he might even watch them fail as Jedi because of it. Maybe they will fall in battle because he for got to impart to them the wisdom of a strategic retreat. Perhaps they will fall away to the dark side because he was unable to completely convey to them the lesson of humility. But Qui-Gon was certain that if ever he taught them to embrace compassion with a careful hold, making sure that they remembered duty, he will have taught them well.

The crèche keepers turned their charges down a corridor that Qui-Gon knew led to a lift that speed over the larger gardens and up to the crèche wing. As he and Dooku passed, he took his last look at the crèchelings that he had learned to like so well in the few days that they had stayed and played together.

Serious and centered Siri would someday show the Jedi the virtue of intense focus. Strong yet sentimental Ute's energy and enthusiasm would be an asset to his endurance in the long run. And Ab'aisling, Obi-Wan, a child of insight and inner strength, would easily become a very great Jedi someday. Power can be found in compassion.

As Qui-Gon watched, Obi-Wan turned his head and looked over his shoulder one last time to see his former guardian as he passed. His eyes made contact with Qui-Gon's and the little boy smiled.

Yes, there is power in compassion. Qui-Gon would never doubt that again.

The end.