Master Apprentice
Archive
Sith’s True Redemption: A Ballad
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Rating: NC-17 and VVS for very very stupid
Category: Humor; Poetry
Warnings: None
Archive: Sure, if anyone actually wants this!
Feedback: Yes, feel free to rail at me, I can handle it.
Author's Note: I swear, I didn't write this. I was possessed by something totally evil and very, very sick!
Obi-Wan was a great Jedi knight,
But his Padawan wasn't quite right.
Ani stomped and he swore,
Threw his clothes on the floor,
And his master just laughed at the sight.
So Anakin went out one day
With a certain Naboo girl, to play,
They screwed all day long,
He sang her a song,
But his tunics were shifting to grey.
One day the cloth finally turned black,
And Obi-Wan was such a sad sack.
His dreams were all crushed,
The Force, it seemed hushed,
And Vader took up all the slack
Qui-Gon was not really dead,
So he gave Obi-Wan some good head
It cheered him right up,
They went out to sup,
And re-named 'Darth Vader' to 'Fred'.
It was Fred that they plotted to kill.
They knew from the Force came this will.
They ran out with their 'sabers
And woke all the neighbors.
Having practiced, they sure knew the drill.
Now, Freddy and that scum Palpatine,
Or, Sideous, the sly old drag queen,
They waited all night
To just catch the sight
Of Obi and Qui-Gon's Force gleam.
When finally that light they did see,
Both baddies hid by a large tree
To wait for their chance
Without pissing their pants
For the warriors to rush at them, see?
Qui-Gon was a crafty old Jinn,
And Obi-Wan smuggled him in
Behind some broad leaves,
They hid by the eaves,
Then jumped at the bad boys of sin.
Well, Fred and old Sid were surprised!
They could not believe their own eyes!
One look at that ass,
And their will to harass
Just flew right away like big flies.
So, Siddy and Freddy gave in
And apologized for the dicks they'd been.
They said 'Please, good Jedi,
My dark master and I
would do anything to be your friends!’
Kenobi and Jinn looked around,
But no other Jedi could be found.
So they both dropped their knickers
And shared sneaky snickers,
Then said 'Now, to us you're bound!'
'Get on your knees first to suck us,
Then maybe later you'll fuck us,
But first you must promise us this:
You'll never again
Betray all your friends,
And turn into nasty old Siths!.
The Chancellor quickly agrees,
and went down to Qui-Gon, on his knees.
But Fred, way too proud
to submit out loud,
Just smirked at Kenobi and sneezed.
The Knight grabbed his ex-student's hair
And said 'Boy, now you get right down there
And suck on my dick,
You’d best make it quick,
While I'm in the mood to be fair.’
All in all their punishment was light,
Just servicing these two men at night,
For many hot honeys
Would pay damn good monies
To behold such a beautiful sight.
When the sucking was finally through,
Obi said 'Now, it's all up to you.
You can come back with us,
And not put up a fuss,
Or we kill you, as we know we SHOULD do.’
Skywalker and Palpy both grin.
They know a new life will begin.
With Qui-Gon and pal
They both know they shall
Have many good fucks: They all win!
The story is ended, I fear.
But the moral is so very clear:
The evil will cease,
The joy will increase,
Just trust in good Obi-Wan's rear.
THE END. (Thank God!)