by James Walkswithwind (gila@jbx.com) and Wolfling
(wolfling.msn@attcanada.net)
Archive: Yes to Master & Apprentice
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Q/O
Spoilers: none
Category: drama, au
Summary: Dark happenings disrupt what should be a simple
mission
Feedback: is gratefully accepted :)
Notes: This is the latest in the "Grr Series" previous stories
in this series are (in chronological order) Training Session,
Consequences, Spirit of Duty, Firestorm, Trials of the Heart,
and A Glimpse of Darkness. This takes place perhaps a month
after Glimpse. Thanks as always to Lorelei for betaing (and
fighting the evil sith commas!)
Qui-Gon stood in the conference room, maintaining his sense of
balance as best he could. It was difficult when he felt not
only his own irritation and dread, but Obi-Wan's as well.
It was even more difficult when that irritation was directed at
the Jedi Council. A group of people who were supposed to
be wise. And yet they sometimes acted more like squabbling
politicos than spiritual leaders.
Something that seemed to be happening more and more often of
late. The stray thought came from Obi-Wan, but he might as well
have thought it himself.
It was true; he'd always had his run-ins with the council, but
lately it seemed as if they took the exact opposite stance of
whatever he said.
[Almost enough to make one want to burn the wall tapestries?]
Obi-Wan asked silently.
Qui-Gon smiled faintly. [Almost, Obi-Wan.]
They had tried to warn the Council, but their vague impressions
had done little to convince. It was common enough for someone
to be in touch with the Dark Side without being a Sith, they
were told.
Evil was everywhere, even when only faint and undirected by the
training of a Dark Lord.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had been unable to convince the Council
that this was not one of those instances. Despite their lack of
evidence, despite their own doubts, they had argued.
And failed.
And, though Master Yoda said it was not in retaliation for
anything, they had been given what amounted to an assignment
which could have been handled by a single Knight.
Even with the fact that they had a Padawan who was still very
inexperienced, this assignment was rather below their abilities
and skills. Which had irritated Obi-Wan more than himself,
Qui-Gon knew.
They had been sent as diplomats to oversee a negotiation
between warring clans who had decided, on their own, to stop
warring. They wanted a neutral party to mediate, to ensure
fairness and safety and good graces.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were required to be in the room -- but
otherwise, there was nothing for them to do unless the
ambassadors began arguing.
Which, so far, they hadn't. Had long tedious discussions about
the minutiae of the truce, yes. Argue, no.
[I'm getting to the point where I'd almost welcome an
argument,] Obi-Wan said. [I know I must've been this bored
before in my life, but I can't think of when.]
[Patience is a virtue, Obi-Wan,] Qui-Gon reminded him. Then he
sighed. [Or so I'm told.]
Suddenly one of the negotiating party for the Waltoo clan waved
them forward.
[Ah, perhaps he wants us to do something other than act as
decorations,] Obi-Wan observed as they obeyed the summons.
The short amphibian creature waited quietly as the Jedi went to
meet him. Then he bowed. "To complete the initial round of
opening remarks, we ask the Jedi to recite the "Cal Rok", to
bless our negotiations and remind us to be at peace."
It held out a scroll to Qui-Gon, who accepted it. The Waltoo
stepped back, and all the Waltoo and Dennid, the second clan,
waited expectantly.
It was in a language he knew, barely. Qui-Gon knew he could
read the words on the scroll, but was not convinced he could
translate it accurately. Luckily, he didn't have to translate
anything.
He looked up to make certain he was to begin, then read aloud.
"Rah tagk, allac ma re gon," he intoned solemnly. "Nar ron
agamon tar grr arh."
He felt Obi-Wan's startled amusement, quickly suppressed.
Ignoring it as best he could, he continued to read. Again, as
he spoke the serious words, he felt Obi-Wan suppressing
amusement.
He came to the final line, trying not to frown -- or laugh.
"Allag oni goran garer, garon nar con grrr." He ended with the
proper accent he'd been taught. Was it his fault it
sounded so much like a dragon?
Obi-Wan's mental laughter echoed in his mind, though his former
apprentice's face was properly sober.
Qui-Gon kept his face impassive as he handed the scroll back to
the Waltoo. It accepted the scroll with another bow, and
everyone was dismissed until the following day.
He managed to maintain his composure until they were alone in
one of the corridors, heading back to their assigned quarters.
He would've probably been able to continue maintaining it if
Obi-Wan hadn't looked at him and said, quite clearly, "Grrr?"
Qui-Gon leapt.
One of the things he had learned, early on, was exactly where
Obi-Wan was ticklish.
It was a good thing no one was close enough to hear their
laughter and shouts. It would've severely damaged the "solemn
Jedi" reputation. Qui-Gon, however, got them headed to their
rooms by chasing Obi-Wan down the appropriate hallway.
When they got inside, Qui-Gon grabbed him again, intending to
tickle him until he turned blue.
"I guess I have to go find someplace else to practice," Anakin
sighed.
"Sorry, Ani," Obi-Wan said, composing himself, but not
bothering to try and wipe the smile off his face or to move
from Qui-Gon's arms.
Anakin sighed, and rolled his eyes -- but grinned. "I'm used to
it, Masters." He jumped up and headed for the door. "Is it all
right if I go down to the Mahjor Gardens?"
"Yes, Anakin. But do not stray from the grounds," Qui-Gon told
him, also making no move to let go of Obi-Wan.
"Yes, Master," Anakin replied with another roll of his eyes.
Qui-Gon considered giving the boy a brief reminder about
showing respect, then realized he and Obi-Wan were probably not
offering ideal role models at the moment for proper Jedi
behavior.
He waited until Anakin was out the door, then bit Obi-Wan's
neck.
"You know," Obi-Wan said conversationally, even as he tilted
his head to allow Qui-Gon better access, "Anakin is getting a
far different picture of Jedi Masters than I did when you took
me as your Padawan."
"Is he now?" Qui-Gon continued biting, glad he did not yet have
to fight long locks of hair for the skin underneath. He'd
thought about asking Obi-Wan to keep it short, but hadn't. It
was his choice to grow his hair as he liked.
Though he had seriously considered pouting as it grew,
until Obi-Wan got the hint.
"And what did you think of Jedi Masters?" he asked.
"That you were very proper and very serious and had no sense of
humor." One hand reached up and began to play with Qui-Gon's
long locks.
Qui-Gon blinked. "No sense of humor?" Then he realized the
implication of Obi-Wan's words. "Are you saying I don't act
like a proper Jedi Master?" He wriggled his fingers underneath
Obi-Wan's tunic and tweaked a bit of skin.
Obi-Wan squirmed away from the tormenting fingers. "I never
said that. Actually, I think it's probably good that Ani has no
illusions about you."
Qui-Gon pulled back. "Did you?"
"I wasn't sure what to make of you. I knew you were a great
Jedi and I felt privileged that you finally consented to take
me as your Padawan, but..." He shrugged. "You were very much an
enigma to me back then. And, I admit, there was part of me that
kept wondering if you were going to decide you'd made a mistake
accepting me."
Qui-Gon pulled his hands free, and took Obi-Wan's face gently
between them. He didn't know what to say, what needed to be
said. If, indeed, anything did. He knew Obi-Wan no longer
doubted his place with Qui-Gon -- at least, Obi-Wan did not
doubt his own worth. But he wished he could correct the
mistakes he had made, mistakes which had needlessly hurt the
young boy.
Obi-Wan smiled at him gently, reaching up to cover Qui-Gon's
hands with his own. "I know better now. I have for a very long
time. It was only the first few months that I truly had my
doubts."
Qui-Gon leant forward and kissed him, softly. "I regret those
first few months of doubt, Obi-Wan. Looking back... if I had
accepted my fate, any of the times it was forced upon me...."
"You would not be who you are." Obi-Wan shook his head fondly.
"You have never been one to just accept blindly, my Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan, and smiled at him.
"Grr!"
"Grr," Obi-Wan replied, grinning back.
Qui-Gon nodded, solemnly. "Now that we have that out of the
way...." He pulled Obi-Wan towards him. "We have no more duties
until tomorrow morning."
"And Ani is out for the next few hours," Obi-Wan added
helpfully.
"Hmm." Qui-Gon considered, carefully. "Shall we work on our Lai
Shi forms?"
"I can think of more... fulfilling ways to pass the time."
"A game of Crondile?" Qui-Gon ignored the fact that Obi-Wan was
already beginning to remove Qui-Gon's outer robe.
"Not stimulating enough."
"Meditation?" His robe was dropped, and Obi-Wan moved to his
belt.
"What I have in mind is more relaxing."
"More relaxing than meditation?" Qui-Gon asked in surprise. He
held his arms up a bit as Obi-Wan began removing his tunic.
"The end result at least," Obi-Wan said, leaning in and
nuzzling Qui-Gon's chest once the tunic was removed.
"Well, if you think it best," Qui-Gon conceded. Then he moved
quickly and soon had Obi-Wan stripped down to his pants and
boots, as he himself was.
Obi-Wan grinned up at him. "I see you're getting into the
spirit of things now."
"You haven't said what you want to do, though," Qui-Gon pointed
out.
His former apprentice just looked at him steadily, with one
eyebrow raised. "We're standing here, off-duty, half-naked and
alone. I should think it is obvious."
Qui-Gon looked down at him. "You said you didn't want to
work on our Lai Shi forms." He was working very hard not to
smile, at this point, and had to exert himself to maintain some
serenity. Exterior serenity, at least.
Obi-Wan heaved a heavy sigh, belied by the mischief in his
eyes. "Well, if you insist, I suppose we can--"
"Very well." Qui-Gon nodded. He moved one foot back and stood
in the first pose. Then he swept his other foot around,
tripping Obi-Wan onto the couch behind him.
"I don't remember ever seeing that particular form before,
Master," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully, even as he reached up to
pull Qui-Gon down on top of him.
"I shall have to show it to you more often, then." Qui-Gon
shifted slightly until he was lying more comfortably, without
danger of squishing anything important or falling off the
furniture.
Then he frowned.
"Qui-Gon?"
"Everything is in the other room."
"Oh." There was silence for a moment, then, "One of us will
have to get it."
"Or we could go in there, where the bed is. And not worry about
someone falling off the couch." Qui-Gon blinked, and realized
that there was something that needed doing. He leant down and
did it, rubbing his tongue over the spot he'd kissed.
"Mmmm," his lover breathed, eyes closing, and fingers
tightening in Qui-Gon's hair. "Or we could just stay here
and... improvise."
"Mmm?" Qui-Gon asked as clearly as he could with his lips
pressed against Obi-Wan's jaw.
"Like that," Obi-Wan replied a bit breathlessly, arching up as
Qui-Gon's hands went wandering.
Qui-Gon stopped. "Oh. Sorry, that wasn't improvising. That move
was in the book--" He lost track of what he was saying as
Obi-Wan demonstrated a few moves of his own.
When he was able to take control again, he was on his back,
completely naked, and looking at a lover who was showing no
signs of slowing down any more. He tried to think of something
to say -- then he tried to figure out why he thought he needed
to say anything. Obi-Wan certainly didn't need any
encouragement....
Obi-Wan did something particularly inspiring with his tongue,
and Qui-Gon gave up on thinking altogether. He did, however,
manage to start making noise. He made loud, enthusiastic
noises, a few of which seemed to create an interesting reaction
in Obi-Wan.
He moaned again, low and deep, and felt Obi-Wan twitch.
Obi-Wan kept on doing what he'd been doing, though. Which was a
good thing. Qui-Gon most definitely did not want him to stop.
He grabbed onto the nearest part of Obi-Wan that he could reach
and held on. He held on tighter as Obi-Wan continued, tighter
still as he tried to fight back a shout.
[I'd rather you shouted and let me have a little circulation,]
Obi-Wan gently admonished. [That is not a squeeze toy.]
Qui-Gon let go immediately, and tried to look down at where
he'd been grabbing.
Instead he saw what Obi-Wan was still doing, and fell back
again.
His former apprentice was proving exactly how talented at
improvising he was. Definitely one of Obi-Wan's strengths, he
thought muzzily, as he shifted, trying to get Obi-Wan to... oh
yes. Wonderfully talented. He moaned in appreciation.
And well-trained, too. All he had to do was wriggle, once more,
just so....
Qui-Gon yelped.
Obi-Wan grinned up at him. [Stay still,] he advised. [You don't
want us to fall off the couch after all.] Then he ran his
tongue soothingly over the sensitive skin he had bitten a
moment before.
[I am trying to stay still. If you would just.... ooo....]
Very well-trained. Even if thinking it would get him
bitten again.
[Or spanked.]
Qui-Gon tensed. [Really?]
Obi-Wan nipped.
[Maybe I'll lie here quietly and let you do as you wish and not
say a word?]
[You've always been a wise man.]
Qui-Gon lay there silently, then, and let Obi-Wan amuse
himself. After a moment, his eyes began to roll back in his
head again. He began to lose track of individual details then,
as everything melded together into one large, jumbled,
extremely pleasurable experience.
He shouted, then. Loud, and long. More than once, if you
counted the stops for breath as cutting the outcry into
distinct countable parts. Qui-Gon didn't, because he couldn't
count. Not just then. All he knew was "Yes."
Which might have been what he was shouting. Or it might have
been something else.
He could be speaking in tongues, prophesying the future of the
Jedi, for all he knew. Not that he remembered what a prophecy
was right then. Or a Jedi. Or a... no, he definitely remembered
what a tongue was. He shouted again.
That one he recognized. It was Obi-Wan's name.
At least it was supposed to be....
A year or two later, he remembered how to breathe. And about a
century after that, he remembered how to think. He opened his
eyes to see Obi-Wan sitting astride him grinning smugly.
He tried to think of something wise, witty, or profound to say
to wipe that smugness off his lover's face. Qui-Gon blinked,
then reached out with his finger and wiped the other stuff off
Obi-Wan's face.
Then off his chest. Out of his hair.
"Do you need a towel?"
Obi-Wan blinked then laughed softly. "Is that all you're going
to offer me?"
"If I could move, I'd gladly lick you clean," Qui-Gon replied.
"And how long do you think it will be before you can move?"
Qui-Gon thought it over. Morning? Seemed true but he suspected
that would get him tossed off the couch. "Now?" he tried.
The smile that earned him seemed to suggest that that was the
right answer.
He sat up, took hold of Obi-Wan, and spun them both. Obi-Wan
landed on his back, with Qui-Gon on top of him.
Qui-Gon began to clean his lover off... and soon Obi-Wan was
making noises that sounded suspiciously familiar.
Not to mention wriggling.
He decided he rather liked the wriggling, and set out to induce
more of it. Just as long as they stayed on the couch; he put
one hand on the edge of the couch to brace them both before
continuing.
Things were coming along rather nicely, he thought, until
Obi-Wan's restlessly moving hands finally came to rest on
Qui-Gon's head. Or, more precisely, entangled in his hair. And
they were still moving restlessly.
"Ow." He glanced upwards and saw that Obi-Wan was not likely to
have heard him. Or understood. He tried to move his head out of
reach, but that... moved his head out of reach. He frowned.
Well, he'd make Obi-Wan brush it out. He went back to what he
was doing.
It didn't take much more of that for Obi-Wan to be pushed over
the edge, shouting Qui-Gon's name when he came... and yanking
hard on Qui-Gon's hair.
Qui-Gon thought seriously about giving himself his old Padawan
haircut as he eased Obi-Wan through his release. In one sense
at least; he still hadn't let go of Qui-Gon's hair by the time
he collapsed.
Long moments passed before Obi-Wan got his breath back. He went
to raise his hand, only to pull Qui-Gon's hair again before
visibly realizing he was still holding it. [Sorry,] he
apologized, immediately disentangling his fingers and smoothing
the hair back into a semblance of order.
Qui-Gon smiled at his lover, remaining in place, lying low
across Obi-Wan's body. He waited. Obi-Wan looked wonderful like
this, relaxed and satiated and grinning like a love-struck
bantha.
"A what?!" Obi-Wan asked, obviously trying for outrage, but
unable to keep the laughter from his voice.
"You do." Qui-Gon rested his chin on Obi-Wan's stomach. He made
no attempt to move, though he had to use the Force to slightly
brace himself against slipping sideways off the couch. That
gave him an idea which he decided to explore sometime when they
had much more time, and padded floors.
[I'll add it to the list, right below the acrobatic training
room at the temple.]
Qui-Gon blinked. "List?" He hoped the squeak he heard in his
voice had been his imagination. Last time Obi-Wan had kept a
list, he had kept it on his datapad.
He saw the smug look on Obi-Wan's face and bent his head to
bite him.
There was a warning tug on his hair. "That's not a chew toy
either."
"Isn't it? I distinctly remember you asking me to--"
Another tug. Harder.
He looked up. "Yes?"
"No biting. At least not there."
Qui-Gon moved upwards and found a better spot to bite.
"Mmm..." Obi-Wan shifted slightly, one hand now petting
Qui-Gon's hair. "You know everything is still in the
bedroom..."
"Mm?" Qui-Gon asked before he bit.
"For... you know."
"Lai Shi?"
He was never exactly sure where the pillow came from that
Obi-Wan whapped him with.
They had managed somehow to finally retreat to the bedroom, and
were cuddling on the huge bed. Obi-Wan had dutifully brushed
out Qui-Gon's hair, nearly lulling him to sleep.
The mental flash of surprise and anger from his Padawan
propelled him wide awake.
Obi-Wan's eyes were wide. "Did you--"
Qui-Gon was already reaching for his clothes. [Anakin?] He
reached out for the boy. He felt urgency, then, along with the
anger. But no fear or worry. Anakin didn't seem to be in
danger. [Anakin?] he sent more strongly.
He was answered with a chaotic burst of emotions and images.
[Focus, Ani,] Obi-Wan sent. [Tell us what's wrong.]
It took a moment for the emotions to settle enough for them to
understand him. Finally they heard, [They're going to take him.
They say they'll kill him if--] The words were lost again in a
swirl of anxiety.
They were dressed by that time, and heading for the door.
[Take who, Ani?] Obi-Wan asked even as they ran towards the
gardens where the boy was.
[Kardel. Doraeen's son. They're going now, Masters!]
Anakin added with a mental shout.
And they were still several minutes away, even at Jedi speeds.
There was no hesitation in Qui-Gon's command. [Follow them,
Anakin. Do what you can.]
[Yes, Master,] came the boy's reply; then they both sensed his
attention turning elsewhere.
Qui-Gon hid his concern from Anakin, though he didn't bother
trying to hide it from Obi-Wan. Anakin might find himself faced
with something he could not handle. Despite how well he had
taken to his training, he was still inexperienced.
[He'll be all right,] Obi-Wan reassured him, though Qui-Gon
could feel his doubts as well. [He only has to hold them for a
few minutes.]
Qui-Gon didn't think of what could happen in only a few
minutes. Instead, he let his doubts and worries fade so he
could focus. Ready for whatever they found... They burst out
into the gardens and followed Anakin's presence, weaving
quickly through the manicured paths to a building on the other
side.
The boy was waiting for them by the doors. [They went in
there!] he said, broadcasting anxiety and relief all at once.
Qui-Gon spared only a moment to acknowledge Anakin, then
checked the doors. They were not locked, so he carefully eased
one open. There was no immediate sign of whomever Anakin had
seen; they went inside cautiously, Anakin between the two of
them.
With little more than a look, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan made the
decision to split up to complete the search more quickly.
Qui-Gon kept Anakin with him.
He felt Anakin trying to calm himself as they searched. Calm
and focus, until he was almost a mirror-image of his Master.
Qui-Gon nodded his approval as he kept his own attention on the
rooms ahead. The hallways and open areas gave numerous places
for someone to hide or escape detection by someone searching
only with their eyes.
Qui-Gon detected something ahead and moved towards it. Then,
distantly, came the sound of voices, though they were still too
far away to make out any words.
He let Obi-Wan know what they'd found, then he and Anakin
headed after those voices.
The sound of arguing grew more clearly as they drew closer.
"He's late! We can't just sit here and wait for him!"
"That is exactly what we do. If you want to get paid,
that is!"
A third voice spoke up. "I still say I don't like this! Nobody
said nothing about selling no kid!"
Qui-Gon motioned for Anakin to stay back as he moved forward to
peer around the corner. Three Waltoo stood there, arguing.
At their feet, tied and gagged, was the missing child, eyes
wide and terrified as he listened to his captors fight.
[He's there, isn't he?] Anakin asked, shifting restlessly from
foot to foot.
[Yes.] Qui-Gon tried to determine what could prevent their
simply stepping out and rescuing the child.
Nothing, he realized. If they waited, the unknown fourth party
might arrive and worsen the odds.
Qui-Gon stepped out, Anakin stepping bravely out beside him.
Qui-Gon didn't yet bother drawing his lightsaber.
It took the Waltoo several seconds to realize that they were
there.
"What the--?"
There was a scramble as they dived for their weapons.
Qui-Gon ignited his lightsaber. "I think you should release the
boy." He felt Obi-Wan's presence, coming up behind the Waltoo.
"Why would we want to do that?" the one who was obviously the
leader scoffed.
Qui-Gon spotted movement in the shadows behind them as Obi-Wan,
quiet as a shadow himself, slowly made his way towards the boy.
"To avoid any injuries... to yourselves." Qui-Gon stepped to
the side, drawing the Waltoo's attention further away from the
trussed child.
Obi-Wan reached the boy, scooped him up, and faded back into
the shadows.
Anakin grinned.
The Waltoo stared at Anakin with looks of startlement. One of
them glanced over.
"Hey! Where'd he go?"
The other two spun to look.
"Wha--"
"How--?"
"He was right here! There's no way he could've--"
Qui-Gon waited for them to decide what to do next. They looked
at each other, obviously trying to decide the same thing.
Finally, one of them sighed and threw down his weapon. "This
was a stupid plan anyway."
Qui-Gon looked at the other two, ever-so-slightly aiming his
lightsaber their way.
"Frak," one said, and threw his weapon down as well.
The leader looked from Qui-Gon to his two cohorts and back, and
finally relinquished his weapon as well. "Bunch of
incompetents," he muttered, glaring at the other two.
"Thank you," Qui-Gon told them, relieved this had been done the
easy way. It was easy enough for him and Anakin to bind the
three while Obi-Wan tended to the child.
They made their way back to the main center where the
negotiations were held, and where Kardel's father would be
waiting. They found Doraeen just beginning to panic at his
son's absence. "Kardel!" he shouted in relief when he saw them.
Kardel, who was still shivering at his near-miss and clinging
to Obi-Wan with all his strength, shot his head up at his name
and immediately squirmed to be let go. Obi-Wan set the boy on
his feet and watched as he ran to his father.
The reunion was tearful, Kardel babbling to his father about
what had happened, details and names getting confused, but
Doraeen didn't seem to care. He held his boy until Kardel
calmed, then, still holding him closely, he came to meet the
Jedi.
"Thank you, Esteemed Jedi. There is no repayment for the gift
you have made. The resources of the Dennid are yours."
Qui-Gon returned the bow and addressed him equally formally.
"It is our duty, Sub-Clan Chief Doraeen. We are grateful we
could return your son unharmed."
"I'm glad he's okay," Anakin spoke up earnestly.
Doraeen gave Anakin a smile. "Thanks to your quick actions, I
am to understand, little apprentice. You do your Masters
credit." He turned back to Qui-Gon. "But what of those who took
him?"
"They are being held, Doraeen, and questioned. Clan Chief Gana
of the Waltoo has denied any involvement."
"If you wish to do something for us, you can make sure this
doesn't affect the negotiations," Obi-Wan spoke up quietly.
"That would be giving the kidnappers what they wanted."
Doraeen nodded. "Yes, I understand. If Gana truly is not
involved...." He frowned and held his son closer.
"We will be assisting the investigation," Qui-Gon told him.
"We will have some questions later," Obi-Wan said, "but for
now, we'll give you some time alone with your son." He smiled
at Kardel, who smiled shakily back. Doraeen gave them a
half-bow, and carried his son away; four Dennid bodyguards fell
in ahead of and behind them as they went.
"So much for a quiet, boring little mission," Obi-Wan commented
wryly as they started the long trek back to their quarters.
"Is Kardel going to be safe now?" Anakin asked.
Qui-Gon considered. "Whoever else is involved may well discard
their plans now that they have been uncovered." He frowned. He
didn't think that was true, but he had no reason for the
thought other than a vague sense of unease.
The look Obi-Wan shot him told him he wasn't alone in his
suspicions.
"We should consider whether a guard on the boy will be
necessary," Qui-Gon began.
"I can do it!" Anakin offered eagerly.
Qui-Gon regarded him seriously. This was not like the last
time, when the job was intended to keep the boy safe. Whoever
was still out there presented a severe danger.
But to leave Kardel unguarded would be foolhardy.
"If you and Obi-Wan--"
"Qui-Gon--" Obi-Wan immediately interrupted.
As Qui-Gon had expected him to.
[So I'm predictable. I don't care.]
[What would you prefer we do, Obi-Wan? Leave Kardel unguarded,
or Anakin?] Qui-Gon asked. He and Obi-Wan were the two most
able to protect themselves, and anyone around them.
[Doraeen's own guards--]
[Against...?] He thought of the presence they had both felt.
[We don't know that anything like that is involved,] Obi-Wan
argued, but his answer held a great deal less heat.
[And if it is? We cannot risk the child's safety because we
want to be together, Obi-Wan.]
He watched as Obi-Wan struggled with his fears. Green eyes
suddenly came up and bore into his with an intense fire. [You
will be careful?] Obi-Wan demanded.
[Of course, Obi-Wan,] he answered easily. He looked down to
find Anakin staring up at him, having remained silent
throughout their discussion.
"You will stay with Obi-Wan. Do as he tells you," he reminded
his Padawan, unnecessarily, he knew.
Anakin nodded soberly. "Yes, Master Qui-Gon."
"I will attempt to find out who else is involved. You two
should return to Doraeen and Kardel."
Qui-Gon reached out and took Obi-Wan's arm briefly. Then he
turned and walked out. If he didn't, he would waste valuable
time.
That's what he told himself, at least.
He went first to the building where they had rescued Kardel. He
didn't expect to find anyone, but he hoped to find traces, at
least, of something which would tell him about the identity of
the second party.
At first there was nothing unusual, just the impressions any
building of this type would carry. But then...
The images were vague, and indistinct. But they were there.
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and focused, letting the tiniest
impression float into his awareness.
Something Dark and horribly evil shot out like a flash in the
night.
He pulled back quickly but not before it left him feeling in
need of the psychic equivalent of a shower.
[Qui-Gon?] Obi-Wan's concerned voice in his mind was almost as
good.
[I am all right,] he responded immediately, letting Obi-Wan in
as much as he wished, to verify it. [Whoever, whatever it was,
is no longer here.]
He felt Obi-Wan looking over the memory of what he had touched
so briefly. [We've felt that before.]
[Yes. We must convince the Council this time that the threat is
a serious one. Even if we have nothing more to go on.] Qui-Gon
focused once more on the building around him, skimming over the
taint he had felt to search for other clues. There were none to
be had.
[What next?]
[I think--] He broke off as the sound of gunfire echoed through
the empty halls.
Qui-Gon ran.
[It's coming from the ambassador's quarters,] Obi-Wan told him.
[The guards here are leaving to check it out.]
He didn't bother telling -- or asking if -- Obi-Wan and Anakin
were staying with Kardel. He simply headed for the source of
the gunplay.
[We're staying put,] Obi-Wan's answer to the unasked question
came. [Just be careful.]
[Of course,] Qui-Gon answered, faintly amused. When he was 120,
and doddering around, Obi-Wan would still be chastising him to
be careful. He didn't need a sense of the future to tell him
that.
[That's because you have a history of not being careful.
If you would just--] Obi-Wan broke off in mid-word, distracted
by something.
Qui-Gon held himself back from demanding explanations. Obi-Wan
would tell him as soon as he could. He angled towards the
ambassador's quarters, now only one hallway down.
Then he felt a growing alarm in his lover. [Qui-Go--] Obi-Wan
started to say and was suddenly cut off.
There was a brief flash of anger/fear/pain and then nothing.
He changed his direction without thought, heading directly for
Obi-Wan.
He had caught sight and feel of the situation in the
ambassador's quarters, half a dozen guards all feeling more
confused than anything else.
No sense of danger, no sense of anything more than wondering
what had happened.
He reached out again to Obi-Wan and Anakin both; he could sense
absolutely nothing from either of them. They were either deeply
unconscious or...
He couldn't complete the thought, but ran even faster.
When he came around the corner, he stopped for one very brief
moment. There were bodies slumped to the floor all around him,
looking like so many discarded dolls. Sprawled closest to the
doorway was Obi-Wan, his lightsaber hilt clutched in his lax
right hand. It looked like he had sensed whatever it was and
had moved to confront it when they were cut down. Qui-Gon's
heart shouted and he moved forward, senses alert to everything.
He resolutely ignored, for now, Obi-Wan and Anakin, checking
the room instead, searching for whatever had done this. The
only sign was the overlain psychic stench of evil.
The same that he'd felt before, when Kardel had been grabbed.
Kardel, who was again missing.
And whoever had him had passed an entire building full of alert
guards and a Jedi Knight. Qui-Gon's mouth thinned to a frown.
He considered for a moment following the trail, then realized
that if he or she had got past a Jedi Knight so quickly, then a
Jedi Master would be little more threat. He returned to
Obi-Wan's side and knelt.
Obi-Wan's eyes were half-open, but there was no awareness in
them, and Qui-Gon still couldn't feel anything from him. Both
his heartbeat and his breathing were strong and regular, which
was a relief. It was just his mind that was...not there.
He moved to check Anakin and found much the same thing. He
pushed himself away, pushing away the fear as well, and went to
check on the others in the room.
Doraeen and one of the Dennid guards were beginning to stir.
The sub-clan chief groaned and his eyes flickered open, staring
up at the ceiling blankly. "Wha--"
"What happened?" Qui-Gon asked, more to focus the Dennid's
attention than to get information. He doubted Doraeen could
tell him anything substantial. But if he could speak, think
coherently, and Obi-Wan and Anakin could not -- yet -- it would
tell him exactly what sort of attack this had been.
Doraeen frowned in concentration. "There was... a cloaked
figure... at the door..." His eyes suddenly widened and he
bolted upright. "My son! Where is Kardel? Is he all right?"
"I don't know yet." Qui-Gon sent a calming to him, watching him
lean back, dazed. The guard was at his side now, and Qui-Gon
left Doraeen to him for the moment.
He returned to Obi-Wan's side and called to him.
[Obi-Wan?]
Nothing. No response.
He pulled Obi-Wan closer to him, cradling him gently as he
moved deeper into Obi-Wan's mind. He swallowed against the
emptiness he felt.
[Obi-Wan?]
One blow, even from a Sith, couldn't damage Obi-Wan's mind
permanently. Even unexpected, even if caught off-guard, Obi-Wan
should be strong enough....
Qui-Gon cut off his mounting fear again.
Finally he felt... something. Just a spark. It wasn't
awareness. Not quite. But it was something.
He pulled himself farther in, sending his feelings out ahead of
him like fingers in a dark room. A dark bed, he thought with
faint amusement. Searching for his lover....
[Obi-Wan, please.]
[...]
There was that spark again.
He grabbed at it as gently as he could, determined not to let
it slip away. It was like trying to catch a strand of silk --
or a bug out of a cup of water, as he recalled for some reason
sitting in a primitive camp with his Padawan, trying to catch
the tiny gnat to avoid drinking it. Obi-Wan had watched him for
several moments before losing control and laughing hysterically
at him.
He'd told Qui-Gon that it was taking the rescue of pathetic
lifeforms too far.
Qui-Gon smiled, and focused. Obi-Wan was here, dammit.
Somewhere.
[...master...?]
Qui-Gon nearly laughed. [Padawan?] he called back, rushing
towards the source of that weakened thought.
[...don't...yell...head...hurts...] The thoughts were still
thready and weak, but getting stronger.
Qui-Gon didn't respond, merely wrapped himself around Obi-Wan
and held him, in thought and body.
With each passing second, he could feel Obi-Wan's presence
getting stronger and stronger. Finally, after long uncounted
moments, Obi-Wan blinked and looked up at Qui-Gon with eyes
that were awake and aware.
Qui-Gon leant down and kissed him softly. And briefly. "Wait,"
he instructed and set Obi-Wan down. He moved to Anakin's side
and repeated the process.
And ignored the order in which he had done so.
If anything, Ani's mind was even more dark and empty than
Obi-Wan's had been. Qui-Gon searched long minutes but could
find no trace of Ani's essence.
"Obi-Wan, I need your help."
He heard the soft rustle of cloth as Obi-Wan moved to his side,
then felt his lover's presence, strong and bright once again,
join with his.
Together they entered Anakin's mind, searching as Qui-Gon had
done for Obi-Wan.
For long moments there was nothing.
Then, like there had been with Obi-Wan, there was a spark.
Together, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon caught and held it, feeding it
strength and encouragement until Ani was back with them.
The boy awoke with a cry, then threw himself forward into both
of his Masters' arms, trembling from fear and reaction.
"Easy, Ani. It's all right," Qui-Gon spoke soothingly. But he
shot a look at Doraeen, and knew they had to move out, soon. He
was torn, then, at leaving Anakin behind or keeping him at
their side, within reach.
For the first time, he doubted what he had done. He kept it
deep, a barely formed emotion where no one would detect it. He
stood. "If you two are able, we must go after Kardel."
"Ani?" Obi-Wan asked gently, still holding onto the boy.
Anakin pulled back, face pale, but expression determined. "I
can make it. I won't slow you down, sirs, I promise."
Obi-Wan hugged him tightly once more before releasing him and
getting to his feet. "We know, Ani."
Qui-Gon glanced at Doraeen once more, and saw that there was
little more they could do for him. Except find his son again.
He focused instead on the fading sensation of darkness, and
followed it.
Beside him, he could sense the tense unease in both of his
companions. Not just Anakin, but Obi-Wan as well, though his
was far more well-controlled.
Qui-Gon took note of it and continued trailing the boy and his
abductor. They were headed towards a part of the building
Qui-Gon had only seen on the brief initial tour: the kitchens,
servitors' quarters, and supply rooms.
He accepted, then ignored, his own sense of unease.
They were passing a closed door -- probably a closet -- when
Obi-Wan came to a stop and held up his hand. [Wait,] he said to
both of his companions. [There's something...] He trailed off,
coming to face the closed door.
Qui-Gon waited, lightsaber out but not yet on. Anakin stood
behind him.
Qui-Gon reached out and felt what Obi-Wan had.
It didn't bode well.
With a deep breath, Obi-Wan reached out and triggered the door
open.
A small crumpled body fell out at their feet.
Kardel.
Qui-Gon crouched next to the boy's body when Obi-Wan remained
standing where he was, staring mutely at it. He discovered
quickly that the boy was dead, mind wiped clean.
"Is- is he--?" Anakin asked, voice trembling.
"Yes, Anakin," Qui-Gon said gently. "Come, we must find whoever
did this." He took up the trail once more, though it was fading
quickly. He wasn't convinced they would be able to catch the
one responsible.
He spared a brief touch to both his companions' minds; Anakin
was shaken, but seemed to be dealing as well as could be
expected at this point, Obi-Wan...
Obi-Wan had pulled his shields so tightly closed that even
Qui-Gon could not see past them.
Yes, Qui-Gon told himself. He would be feeling guilty. No time
to deal with that now, however. He led them down the hallways
after the assailant.
Only to have the trail disappear at the building's entrance.
Frustrated, Qui-Gon searched with every sense he had,
instructing Anakin to do as well -- assuming Obi-Wan would do
so without being told. But the silence from Obi-Wan was
beginning to worry him.
"I don't feel anything, Master," Anakin said after a few
minutes.
"Nor do I." Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan didn't answer, jaw set, staring off into the distance
with haunted eyes.
"We must return and tell Doraeen what has happened." He reached
out and took Obi-Wan by the arm.
The younger man didn't respond for a long moment. Then he
glanced at Qui-Gon and nodded silently.
They headed back into the building, Anakin walking close to
Qui-Gon's side, Obi-Wan walking some distance away. Farther
than he ever normally placed himself when given a choice,
Qui-Gon noticed.
The trip back to Doraeen's quarters was both much too long and
much too short. When they entered the room, the sub-clan chief
jumped to his feet and approached them with a hopeful, worried
expression. "My son...?"
Obi-Wan spoke then, for the first time since they had found the
boy. "We found him. He's dead. I'm sorry."
Doraeen froze. He stared at the Jedi in disbelief. Qui-Gon
moved forward. "He was killed before we came upon him; I am
sorry."
The Dennid turned away, and in the silence Qui-Gon realized
that they had been dismissed.
Obi-Wan reached one hand out to the grieving father, then let
it drop with a weary sigh. He turned and looked at Qui-Gon, and
the Jedi Master for one second felt the turmoil his lover's
emotions were in. Then the shutters fell back down and he could
once again sense nothing.
Qui-Gon took Anakin and Obi-Wan from the room then, and headed
for their quarters. None of them said anything until Qui-Gon
closed the door.
"I will call the Council, and inform them what has happened,"
Qui-Gon said. "Anakin, come with me."
He took the boy with him, leaving Obi-Wan alone in the outer
room.
"Master Obi-Wan blames himself, doesn't he?" Anakin asked
sadly, looking back over his shoulder at the room where Obi-Wan
still stood.
"Yes," Qui-Gon answered. "As would I, had I been in his place.
But it does not change the fact that it was not his
fault. Being a Jedi does not mean you are invulnerable." He
gathered Anakin close and told him, "You must not blame
yourself, either."
The boy heaved a huge sigh that caught on a half sob. "I
would've saved him if I could've," he said softly.
"Yes, Ani. I know. As would have Obi-Wan, or I." He said
nothing more, letting the boy come to whatever terms he could,
on his own. Later Qui-Gon would talk to him again, ensure he
was handling it.
He opened his thoughts to Obi-Wan then, to let him know he was
there, and called the Jedi Council.
His report went just about the way he'd expected it would; the
council expressed shock and disbelief, and ordered them to
return to Coruscant as soon as possible.
Wasting no time arguing with them now, he shut down the
commsole and turned to Anakin. "Will you be all right here
alone for a moment, Ani?"
Obi-Wan had not responded, apparently ignoring him completely.
Anakin nodded solemnly. "I'll be fine, Master. I'm not the one
who needs you right now."
Qui-Gon gave him a smile. He left Anakin there with a light
brush of his hand through the boy's hair, and went to find
Obi-Wan.
It wasn't a difficult task. Obi-Wan was seated in the middle of
the room, eyes closed, ostensibly meditating.
Qui-Gon knew he was not. He went over and stood behind him,
waiting to see if Obi-Wan would acknowledge his presence.
For long moments it seemed as if he would not. But then he
slowly straightened, opened his eyes and turned his head to
look at Qui-Gon.
Qui-Gon could see nothing in his eyes, feel nothing through the
closed shields. He sat down beside Obi-Wan and waited.
Without changing expression, Obi-Wan slowly held out a hand to
him.
Qui-Gon took it and held it tightly. The fears he had forgotten
came back to him. Obi-Wan, lying there on the floor, as if--
[Obi-Wan.]
That was all it took. Obi-Wan's mental barriers all came down
at once and he flowed forward into Qui-Gon's arms.
Qui-Gon took him and held him close, almost mirroring the
embrace he'd held him in earlier when he'd been trying to reach
his young lover's mind.. He let Obi-Wan's emotions wash over
him, the doubts and guilt, then let them go. He concentrated on
Obi-Wan.
[I'm sorry,] Obi-Wan said, hanging onto Qui-Gon with all his
strength, mentally and physically.
[It's all right, beloved. There is nothing to apologize for.]
The words themselves were meaningless, nothing more than what
Obi-Wan could have told himself. But Qui-Gon let him feel the
words, feel how much Qui-Gon believed them, feel the absolute
absence of acrimony.
[I should've sensed something earlier...]
[Why? Were you distracted? Not paying attention?] Qui-Gon knew
such wasn't the case, he knew Obi-Wan too well to think he
would have not been doing his utmost best.
[But it wasn't enough, was it?] Obi-Wan's words were bitter and
full of self-castigation.
[And if it wasn't? What good will blame do?] Qui-Gon kept his
thoughts calm. [The boy is dead, and it is one thing to grieve.
It is another to think you might have stopped what could not
have been stopped.] It was not the first time someone had died
during one of their missions. Not the first time someone had
died while under the Jedi's care.
[Never one so young though.] This time the tone was one more of
sadness and regret and less of blame.
Qui-Gon said nothing to that. He simply held Obi-Wan.
They sat like that for a long time. Finally, Obi-Wan stirred,
pulling back enough to look into Qui-Gon's eyes. "Thank you,"
he said softly, aloud.
Qui-Gon smiled. [I love you.] He leant forward and kissed
Obi-Wan lightly.
Obi-Wan sighed, closed his eyes, and kissed him back. [Thank
you for that as well.]
Qui-Gon grinned and glanced up. He waved to Anakin, who was
peeking through the door.
"Is it safe to come in?" the boy asked hesitantly.
Obi-Wan managed a smile, even if it was still a bit wobbly.
"It's safe, Ani."
Anakin ran forward and nearly threw himself into their arms. A
slight bit of repositioning, and all three sat in an embrace.
Qui-Gon could feel that Anakin was still shaky, upset by the
attack as well as by finding Kardel.
He wasn't the only one who noticed it. Obi-Wan reached up and
stroked the boy's hair soothingly as he asked, "How are you
doing, Padawan?"
"I'll be all right," the boy muttered, face pressed against
Obi-Wan's arm.
Qui-Gon remembered what he had not let himself feel, and let go
of it before the thoughts could form again. He would have to
speak to Obi-Wan, but not now.
"Yes, you will," Obi-Wan affirmed. "But how are you right now?"
Anakin looked up at him. "Scared. Is he... whoever that was.
Coming back?"
"I don't know, Ani. But I doubt he will come back here in the
near future. And we will be leaving for Coruscant in the
morning," Obi-Wan added, proving that while he might not have
been responding, he had been paying attention to Qui-Gon's
report to the council.
[Yes. They still do not believe the severity of the situation.
But that is for tomorrow.]
Obi-Wan nodded in agreement. "You think you can get some sleep,
Ani?" Without nightmares, was the unspoken part.
"I think so," he replied, frowning slightly. Qui-Gon
could see the hope clearly on his face, even had he not felt
it. He looked over at Obi-Wan.
"Would you feel better if you weren't alone?" Obi-Wan asked,
gently brushing Anakin's hair off of his forehead.
Anakin nodded quickly, and pulled himself closer into their
embrace.
Obi-Wan just hugged him closer, meeting Qui-Gon's eyes with a
rueful glance. [I know I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight
alone.]
"Then we should be glad the bed is a large one," Qui-Gon said
mildly. He sensed Obi-Wan's sudden amusement and suppressed
comments at that, and even Anakin snickered slightly.
He raised his eyebrow at Obi-Wan. It wasn't like Obi-Wan had
never had to sleep on top of him, in his years as a
Padawan.
[Yes, and looked where that has brought us,] Obi-Wan replied,
chuckling mentally.
[You were fourteen.]
[Yes, and I had a huge crush on you. I was so afraid I'd
embarrass myself that I didn't sleep a wink.]
Qui-Gon stared at Obi-Wan, eyes going wide. He didn't say a
word, just looked at him, surprised. Anakin was still stifling
his giggles.
[What, you didn't know?] Obi-Wan asked, caught between surprise
himself and amusement.
Qui-Gon held his look of shock for a moment longer, then was
unable to hold back his smile.
A sudden yawn from Anakin interrupted the teasing. "Bed, I
think," Obi-Wan said out loud. "It's been a long day and
tomorrow is not likely to be much better. We all need the
rest."
Qui-Gon nodded, and soon they were under the thick blankets,
cuddled together. Anakin fell asleep almost instantly. Qui-Gon
leaned over the boy to give Obi-Wan a kiss.
Obi-Wan sighed and moved closer, reaching out and entwining his
fingers with Qui-Gon's. "I'm glad you're here," the younger man
whispered softly.
"Where else would I be?" Qui-Gon asked, knowing what Obi-Wan
meant. He squeezed Obi-Wan's hand.
Obi-Wan squeezed back and smiled, which was marred by a large
yawn. "Sorry," he apologized, even as his eyes were closing.
"More tired than I thought."
"Go to sleep, beloved." Qui-Gon smiled as Obi-Wan put his head
down. He brushed his hand through Obi-Wan's hair, growing out
for the first time in so many years. It looked odd, still, to
see him with hair so long. But it suited him. Reminded Qui-Gon
he was his Padawan no longer.
"Mmm..." Obi-Wan breathed contentedly, his lips turning faintly
upwards as he slid quickly into sleep. [Love you...] he sent to
Qui-Gon just as he drifted off.
Qui-Gon stayed there, watching the two of them sleep for
several minutes. He watched as the lines of grief and worry
faded from each of their faces; Anakin's cleared more quickly,
but a wave of love to Obi-Wan tended to that.
When he sensed that both were deeply asleep, he eased himself
off the bed and sat down nearby to meditate.
There was much which he had to consider, to come to terms with.
The evening's events had shaken him as badly as it had shaken
the other two, he just hadn't let himself feel it. Until now.
Behind his closed eyelids, he called up the image of what he
had seen when he had entered the sub-clan chief's quarters:
apprentice and lover, both lying on the floor, perhaps dead.
This time he did not try to suppress the feelings the scene
brought up.
Fear. He expected that. It flooded his mind, filling him until
he was almost certain there was nothing more. Heart-pounding,
breath-stopping fear, making everything in the vision fade.
But there was also grief. And guilt.
It was the last he focused on, knowing it would be the hardest
to come to terms with. Knowing that the reason behind it was
something he must deal with -- and objectively, not blinded by
emotion.
He had to wait for the strength of the emotion to fade somewhat
before he could try to focus on its reason.
Obi-Wan and Anakin, lying there, felled by a blow none of them
could have foreseen.
That wasn't it. He knew that wasn't it.
That he had been forced to leave them, when the three of them
together might have withstood the attack -- there lay the path
of his guilt.
But what could he have done differently, really? Someone had to
investigate the kidnapping attempt and someone had to guard the
child. The Force granted a lot of things, but it did not grant
one the ability to be in two places at once. They had had to
split up.
The problem was that they could not have. Not and remain as
strong as they needed to be. And that was not how Jedi
should be trained.
Obi-Wan had been able to be on his own from the moment he had
left the Jedi Temple. He had been nearly thirteen, a good four
years older than Anakin was now. He had had a lifetime of Jedi
training before even embarking on a mission.
Anakin had none of that. He was learning at an incredible rate,
yes, but he was still behind other apprentices his age who had
had the benefit of training almost from birth. Oh, given time,
Qui-Gon was certain that the boy would not only catch up, but
surpass his yearmates, but that was just it. Given time. Time
which Anakin had not yet had.
Anakin needed to be at the Temple, Qui-Gon realized. To study,
to learn, without the dangers and distractions of the missions
they'd been sent on. Qui-Gon wondered briefly if the Council
had known, and been selecting these missions -- these
supposedly simple missions -- for that reason.
But it hardly mattered, now. Now that he knew what had to be
done. Not that there was any great hardship in it -- he and
Obi-Wan would still be Anakin's Masters, still be at his side
training him.
Wouldn't they?
There was still the other guilt there....
Behind him he dimly sensed Obi-Wan, more asleep than awake,
rolling away from Ani and reaching for him. And then Obi-Wan
waking fully when all he touched was cool sheets.
[Qui-Gon?]
Obi-Wan. No longer his apprentice, but a Knight. A Jedi,
skilled and able and not dependent upon him the way a Padawan
was. The way Anakin was.
Obi-Wan, to whom he had run, before Anakin, when he had seen
them both lying there. Obi-Wan, whom he had reached for before
even thinking of looking to Anakin.
Qui-Gon bent his head.
A soft rustle of sheets preceded the equally soft touch to his
shoulder as Obi-Wan got up and came to kneel beside him. He
didn't say anything though, just sat there quietly, lending his
strength and his love, waiting for Qui-Gon to acknowledge his
presence.
Qui-Gon wasn't sure he should, yet. Not with everything still
so sharp in his mind. The guilt that he had left his Padawan in
favor of another -- no matter his excuse, his duty should have
been to Anakin.
The fear that he might yet have to choose.
The feelings, if not the reasons behind them, bled through
their link and he suddenly felt a wave of love, belief, and
assurance in return.
Qui-Gon moved then, and drew Obi-Wan's arms around him. He
leant sideways into his beloved's embrace and let the mix of
emotions ease.
Perhaps, if they took the time to train Anakin in the confines
of the Temple, they could search for the balance that seemed to
be missing.
It was a somber trio who boarded the transport back to
Coruscant the next morning. Doraeen had been among those
officials to see them off, and just being in the same room with
the grief-stricken parent was almost enough to overwhelm the
shields of all three of them.
There had been little enough to say, on any of their parts. The
negotiations were delayed until the Dennid period of mourning
had ended. It would be months before any dialogue between them
and the Waltoo could begin again.
Fortunately, the Jedi had been able to convince Doraeen that a
third party had been responsible, and the negotiations
would continue. Eventually.
Anakin seemed to revive a little as they left the planet behind
them. The pilot's offer to let him pass the flight up in the
cockpit helped even more.
That left Qui-Gon alone in the passenger compartment with his
lover. He sat, feeling suddenly very weary. He wanted to drop
all his shields, all his focus, and rest.
Obi-Wan reached out and absently played with a lock of
Qui-Gon's hair. "You didn't get any sleep at all last night,
did you?"
"No." He could not, even when Obi-Wan had finally taken him
back to bed and held him closely.
"Will you talk about it?"
"Yes." [Once I figure out what to say.]
The hand left his hair, sliding down to entwine fingers with
Qui-Gon's. [Just say what you feel.]
"I am afraid." Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan, seeing the calm
steady gaze fixed on him. He could feel the love and support in
his heart. He was not afraid of changing that, losing it, or
even disrupting it for a moment. But he was afraid of letting
it go.
[And must you let it go?]
[I don't know. I must let something go. I do not know
what it is. But--] he stopped, though he knew Obi-Wan had
already heard the words. [This is not working.]
The End
To be continued in Balance (which is already with our beta
reader)