Master Apprentice Archive Shayvanu Quick search:

Shayvanu

by KatBear (katbear@cox.net)

Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan
Thanks: To the beta reader who made this a much better story (Bonny). All mistakes are my own as I can never resist tweaking.
Summary: Two irresistible forces, their life as Jedi or their passion for each other - which will win out?
Warnings: If male-male sex bothers you, you shouldn't be here.
Spoilers: None, pre-TPM
Notes: This story first appeared in the CONSTRICT 2003 con zine. CONSTRICT is a nice friendly little con in Las Vegas; more info at www.randomadventures.com
Archive: MA, QJEB, Wolfie's Den. Anywhere else please ask and usually granted.
Disclaimer: The boys belong to George Lucas, I'm just playing with them.

~ ~ Character internal thoughts
// // Thoughts between two characters

The nagging little voice at the back of his head was trying to tell him that this really wasn't the time or place. In fact, it kept trying to insist that this was a really, really bad time and absolutely the wrong place. The irritating little voice was quickly drowned out, however, by the surge of blood that washed through his brain and headed south as a hot tongue attacked his mouth while cool hands pushed under his tunics to explore bare skin.

"Want you so much," Qui-Gon's voice rumbled low in his chest.

The two Jedi rolled off the blanket which held the remains of their picnic lunch onto the soft grass, mouths locked together as hands reached eagerly to remove belts and tunics. The warm afternoon sun caressed Qui-Gon's bare back as he ran his tongue around the curve of a shapely ear, sucking on the lobe as agile fingers massaged and tweaked his nipples. His awareness of the secluded Temple garden faded further as hands moved lower and slipped inside his leggings. His own hands moved frantically down smooth skin to grasp a well muscled arse as hot lips clamped onto one of his nipples and the ties to his leggings were undone.

"Love you," Obi-Wan moaned. "Need you. my love."

Mouth on mouth, skin on skin, erection rubbed erection as two sets of leggings were pushed down over boot tops. Passion made him blind him to his surroundings and deaf to his inner voice. Need replaced reason as his blood ran hotter and hotter.

Breaking contact, his lover turned around and went tohis hands and knees. "Please, Qui-Gon, I want you inside me," he cried. "Need you inside me . now . please."

The plea and the inviting arse were too much for him; he could not find the will to resist. Locating his hastily shed utility belt, he fumbled out the tube of lubricant he had begun carrying since taking Obi-Wan as his lover. He slicked his fingers and quickly prepared the intimate opening. Spurred on by desperate moans, he spread cool gel over his hot cock, then held the buttocks wide as he lined up his shaft with the entrance to his lover's body. Slowly working the head in, he paused to let Obi-Wan adjust to the intrusion.

"Oh yes. so good. want you. all the way."

In a series of soft surges, he worked his cock all the way into the welcoming darkness until his balls were snug against warm skin. He paused again to savor the sensation, his mind oblivious to everything but the beautiful leaping flames of their physical and mental joining. He pulled out tantalizingly slowly until just the head was inside, then began a slow in and out rhythm, each forward push punctuated by a moaning gasp and Force spike from both men as Obi-Wan eagerly pushed back. He could feel the pounding of his blood echoing over their bond as the mutual fever continued to burn hotter, like a drug consuming his sanity.

"AAIIIIIOOOOWWW!"

Qui-Gon howled wildly as a downward stroke was abruptly disrupted by a searing pain across both buttocks. Another hard Force-enhanced blow across his arse threw him forward, pushing his cock into the tight channel and flattening his apprentice below him, driving the breath out of both men. After the third fiery blow he regained his wits enough to pull his cock out and roll away. Instinctively calling his lightsaber to his hand, he ignited it as he came up onto his knees.

Master Qui-Gon Jinn found himself face to face with a very small, very angry green Jedi master.

Powering down his lightsaber, Qui-Gon began to open his mouth but was quickly silenced by a curt gesture from his old Master. Yoda's ears were completely flattened and his eyes flashed with anger highlighted by disgust. He raised his gimmer stick and silently pointed out beyond the short hedge.

Qui-Gon went cold as he heard the rapidly approaching high-pitched voices and giggles of several young initiates. Muttering a curse, he pulled up his leggings and scrambled to find discarded cloaks to cover himself and his still wheezing apprentice. After covering Obi-Wan, he went to both knees beside Yoda and wrapped his own cloak around himself. He had barely settled in when the first of the children came into view. He could almost see the group through the hedge; some of the taller initiates looked over the hedge and smiled and waved at him and Master Yoda. They nodded at the children and their attendants as they passed by. Qui-Gon winced as he saw the felinoid senior knight trailing the group wrinkle her nose and give a sharp disapproving glance at the sweaty, disheveled Jinn and Kenobi as she passed. With her keen senses, Qui-Gon was sure that she had detected the faint smell of sex they exuded.

After the group was out of sight, Yoda moved around to stand directly in front of the kneeling Master who was now staring down at the grass in acute embarrassment.

"Look at me, you will," Yoda commanded.

Qui-Gon drew a ragged breath as more blood rushed to his burning face and slowly raised his head to make eye contact. "I am sorry, Master."

As the old Master looked at his former padawan for several long moments, disappointment replaced the anger in his dark eyes. He sighed softly before continuing. "Too late for that it is, Qui-Gon Jinn. Too many times problems you have caused, yes. Too many warnings you have not heeded."

Yoda turned his head as Obi-Wan started to speak, quelling him to silence with a stern glance. Looking back at Qui-Gon, he tapped his stick on the ground for emphasis. "Much you have to answer for, Master Jinn. At fourteenth hour will you and your padawan appear before the Council."

"Yes, my Master," Qui-Gon replied in a small voice as he bowed very low. As he sat up, he saw Yoda silently turn away and slowly make his way up the walkway.

"Master?" he heard Obi-Wan call to him in a worried voice. "I'm sorry, Master."

Qui-Gon crawled over on hands and knees to embrace his apprentice and comfort him, or perhaps it was just as much to comfort himself. "It's all right, Padawan. I should have known better. I wanted you so much I let it happen. It's not your fault."

Obi-Wan hugged his master tightly. Qui-Gon could feel his apprentice's heart pounding and the small tremor that rippled through his body as the adrenaline slowly receded. A flush of shame swept over their bond as the young man tried to bury his head deeper into his master's cloak. "I tempted you deliberately, Master. I'm so sorry," came the muffled voice. "I know I should have better control." He pulled back and shook his head, then looked up into Qui-Gon's eyes. "We're in an awful lot of trouble this time, aren't we, Master?"

"I'm afraid so, my love, I'm afraid so," Qui-Gon said softly as he pulled the young man back to his chest and ran large fingers lightly through the wet spiky hair for several minutes. He finally stirred as he realized what time it was. "Come, Obi-Wan. It will be fourteenth hour soon and I think it would be in our best interests to take a shower first."

Promptly at fourteenth hour a subdued pair of Jedi walked to the center of the Council chamber and bowed. Qui-Gon could feel the chill of concerted disapproval from the assembled Council members. His stomach tightened in uneasy anticipation although no trace of his anxiety marred his serene facade.

The room was quiet as Master Windu consulted a datapad. Over their bond, Qui-Gon could feel his padawan's apprehension increase as the silence stretched on. He sent back a wave of reassurance to try to calm the young man. Qui-Gon glanced at Master Yoda but the ancient being just sat with his eyes closed and his head resting on folded hands on top of his gimmer stick.

Finally Master Windu looked up at the two waiting Jedi. Putting down the datapad, he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

Master Windu sighed, then began speaking slowly and deliberately. "Master Jinn, three months ago your Padawan turned twenty-one. At that time, the two of you came before the Council to request approval for an intimate physical relationship. Although this is not often granted, it was felt in this case that you and your Padawan had an exceptionally sound relationship and that your feelings were both deep and reciprocal. We believed that both of you had the skills and maturity to properly handle the responsibilities associated with this new rapport without harming your Master-Padawan relationship. On that basis, the Council approved your request."

Qui-Gon nodded in acknowledgement. "The Council was most gracious in speedily approving the waiver. I can assure you that was greatly appreciated by both of us."

"At the time your request was approved, I thought we had also made clear the responsibility which accompanied the privilege. That responsibility was to conduct yourselves such that the physical relationship did not interfere with your padawan's training nor cause detriment to your other duties or missions. Was this requirement made sufficiently comprehensible?"

"Yes, Master Windu. Both the privilege and responsibility were adequately explained when the approval was granted."

"Padwan Kenobi," Windu turned to the apprentice, who started a bit at being suddenly addressed. "What was your understanding of what the Council told you?"

Squaring his shoulders, Obi-Wan replied, "The Council granted us permission to pursue a physical relationship. It was our responsibility to ensure that the physical aspect of our relationship did not have a negative impact on my training or on our master-padawan relationship. It was clear that our duties as Jedi must be our first priority."

Windu regarded the young man for a moment before looking back at Qui-Gon. "Master Jinn, as the master in this situation you were responsible for the proper conduct of both yourself and your padawan. Did you undertake this responsibility freely and willingly?"

Qui-Gon's stomach tightened even further. He had a very good idea what was coming next and he knew it was not going to be very pleasant. He buried his impatience at Mace's pedantic exposition and simply nodded again, "Yes, Master Windu, I did. And I take full responsibility for any lapses in that conduct."

Obi-Wan interrupted anxiously, "But Master Windu, it was also my responsibility. Any problems were just as much my failure as- "

"Padawan Kenobi!" Windu cut him off icily as Qui-Gon also sent a warning and reprimand over the training bond. "Any further outbursts and you will wait outside. Do you understand?"

For a moment Obi-Wan looked ready to contest the issue, but another sharp warning from Qui-Gon over their bond caused him to subside. "Yes, Master Windu. I apologize, sir," Obi-Wan said, clearly reluctant to allow his master to shoulder all the blame.

Turning his attention back to Qui-Gon, Windu resumed. "Master Jinn, this is not the first time we have had to discuss this problem, is it?"

"No, it is not."

Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan glance at him in surprise and sensed the questioning over their bond. They had had several conversations about needing to use better control and discretion, but he hadn't told Obi-Wan that he had been called before the Council privately before to answer previous complaints about the pair's conduct. Qui-Gon resolutely stared forward, not even glancing at his apprentice.

Windu uncrossed his arms and picked up the datapad.

"Master Jinn, since you were granted permission to begin this physical relationship, there have been a number of complaints about the conduct of you and your padawan. Most of these complaints deal with inappropriate activities at inappropriate times or places or lack of appropriate shielding. Although the complaints briefly ceased after our last discussion, in the last three weeks they have not only resumed but have increased in severity. Today's event was particularly egregious. Your private activities are supposed be private."

Qui-Gon blushed, his cheeks burning; he was indeed very embarrassed and regretful about the incident in the garden. "Yes, Master Windu. You are quite correct and I am truly sorry for what happened. I would like to extend my personal apology to the entire Council."

"Unfortunately, Master Jinn, the situation has progressed beyond the point where apologies will suffice. Four days ago you and your padawan returned from a mission on Galeceen. That was a very simple, straight forward mission to witness a treaty signing, was it not?"

At the mention of Galeceen, Qui-Gon's guts began twisting into knots as he remembered what had happened there. "Yes, Master Windu."

"And I believe that you have been to Galeceen on at least two other missions, so that it should be a reasonable assumption that you are familiar with the nature of the culture on that planet?"

"Yes, Master Windu. They are a very quiet, polite and reticent people with low to moderate levels of Force sensitivity."

"And were there any complications, difficulties or unusual stress on this last mission while you were there."

"I was not aware of any problems, Master Windu," Qui-Gon replied, his anxiety starting to erode his already taxed patience. "Is there a point to this line of questioning?"

"My point, Master Jinn," Windu said, leaning forward and speaking very intently, "is that you evidently failed to conduct yourself in a manner suitable to your status as a Jedi representative." Master Windu proceeded, cutting off any opportunity for either of the accused men to respond, "I received a polite request yesterday from the Galeceen Senator that, in the future, Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi not be sent on missions to their planet."

A stab of fear turned Qui-Gon's already knotted guts to ice as the room went totally silent. He could sense his apprentice's racing heartbeat and trepidation as both men realized the implications of the senior Council member's last statement.

It was one thing to lose control of their feelings in the Temple, but to allow personal emotions to impact a mission was a severe infraction indeed. Qui-Gon had convinced himself that they would soon learn to control the fires within, and that in the meantime, no harm would come of their occasional infractions. But to have a Senator request that they be banned from future missions was severe enough to finally crack the shell he had been hiding behind to avoid admitting his failings.

Qui-Gon shuddered briefly as he remembered all too well the impulsive, lust-driven evenings on the balcony. Force, if they had been transmitting even a fraction of what they had been feeling it was indeed a horrible transgression. It was no wonder their activities had led to the requested proscription. His shoulders sagged and Qui-Gon swallowed hard as the enormity of their offense hit home.

Time seemed to stop for a long moment in the silent chamber. Qui-Gon glanced at his apprentice as he felt his own shock and shame reflected over their bond. Obi-Wan was pale, his head hanging down. Qui-Gon had to resist the urge to gather his lover into his arms to comfort him. He ruthlessly pushed his feelings away and faced up to his duty.

Qui-Gon drew a deep breath, straightened to his full height, and bowed to the council.

"I acknowledge that I have not properly carried out my responsibilities in this matter and I accept full responsibility for that failing." Qui-Gon paused to swallow, wet his lips. "What are the wishes of the Council, Master Windu?"

"First, permission for the physical relationship between the two of you is immediately revoked," Windu said sternly. "Further, all physical contact beyond that strictly necessary for training is prohibited until further notice. Do both of you understand that?"

Fighting the sudden bitterness threatening to come up his throat, Qui-Gon bit back his angry protest, clenched his hands inside his robe and nodded, recognizing that any argument now would only make things worse and the conversation was far from finished. "Yes, Master Windu."

Feeling the mental gasp from Obi-Wan, the Master risked another glance at his apprentice and tried to send him support and reassurance. He saw the young man hesitate uncertainly, swaying slightly. With downcast eyes, Obi-Wan finally responded, "Yes, Master Windu, I. I understand."

"We are not unmindful of the unusual depth and sincerity of the feelings you have for each other," Windu said with a touch of sympathy. "However, your ability and will to control those feelings are in very serious question. You have acknowledged yourself that you have failed in those areas so far."

"Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi, the Council has agreed to offer you three choices as to your future relationship." Mace looked around at the various Council members, his gaze settling on Qui-Gon a moment before resuming in his slow, deliberate voice. "I will explain those choices and you will be given time to come to a decision about what you wish to do. If you have questions later you may ask the Council to explain the options again."

"The first choice is separation. Padawan Kenobi would be transferred to a different master to complete his training. Without a master-padawan relationship you would both be free to pursue your feelings within the constraints of both person's duties and obligations, and, of course, propriety."

Qui-Gon had to struggle to repress a glare as a slight ripple in the Force accompanied a quiet but disdainful snort from somewhere behind him.

"The second choice is to leave you together as master and padawan but without permission for a physical relationship. Given your exhibited lack of control, if you choose this option, Padawan Kenobi would be required to move to separate quarters and you would both be subject to close monitoring and periodic examination."

"The third choice is to undergo the Shayvanu, the Control Exercise. If you choose this option there are two possible outcomes; if you are successful, you would be allowed to stay together with a physical relationship, but if you fail, you would immediately be separated and all contact prohibited until after Padawan Kenobi is knighted."

Qui-Gon's knees felt weak; the thought of having to give his padawan to another or even possibly losing his love altogether was rapidly shredding what was left of his serenity. It was a bitter pill to contemplate, especially given the smug satisfaction he could feel from more than one Councilor behind him.

Obi-Wan's face was ashen and he looked very troubled. "Excuse me, Master Windu, but I don't understand what the Control Exercise is."

"The Shayvanu is a series of monitored exercises involving increasingly intimate contact. You must demonstrate control of your feelings and reactions at each level before being allowed to continue to the next level. Master Jinn, I believe you are already somewhat familiar with the exercise?" After Qui-Gon nodded assent, Windu continued.

"To give both of you time to consider your decision objectively, Master Jinn has been assigned a solo mission to Vreponya. His ship leaves in eight hours and he should return in two weeks. Three days after Master Jinn returns, both of you must report back to the Council to inform us of your decision. While Master Jinn is gone, Padawan Kenobi will continue his current classes but will be allowed time and access to the restricted archives to research the Shayvanu. Do you have any questions?"

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan looked at each other briefly, then Qui-Gon answered for them, "No, Master Windu, we have no questions at this time."

Windu said softly, "I would remind both of you to be mindful of the restrictions placed on you. Do not force us to make the choice for you."

Qui-Gon clenched his jaw to keep from saying anything he knew he would regret later, then looked back at Master Windu and bowed.

As the two Jedi turned to leave, Yoda opened his eyes for the first time since the session had begun. "Master Jinn," he growled.

Wondering warily if things could possibly get any worse, Qui-Gon turned back. "Yes, Master Yoda?"

"Report to my quarters now you will. Speak with you I wish."

Quickly burying the stillborn protest, Qui-Gon dutifully bowed. "Yes, my Master."

Finally escaping the Council chamber, the two men hurried out. The elevator ride to their floor was silent. They paused in the hallway and looked at each other.

"I'm sorry to have caused so much trouble, Master," Obi-Wan said softly, still pale and thoughts a distressed jumble surging heedlessly over their bond. "I don't know what I'll do if they force us apart."

Fighting hard against the urge to hug the young man, Qui-Gon shook his head and replied, "It was my responsibility to ensure both of us behaved properly and to teach you control; I let you down. This is a long way from being over, however, and right now we haven't been separated." The unspoken word `yet' lingered in the air between them. "We have time to think about this and determine what we need to do. We both need to be strong." His jaw clenched momentarily as he thought of the Council. "We will find a way to resolve this."

"Yes, Master. I'll go and pack for your mission." He hesitated a moment, then continued. "I'll make sure all of my things are out of your room before you get back."

"Thank you, Obi-Wan. I'd better go talk to Master Yoda. I may be gone a while." He automatically started to reach up to brush his apprentice's hair, then stopped with his hand in the air and smiled weakly. "Force, this is going to be awfully hard." He turned to leave but stopped short. Looking back over his shoulder, he said very softly, "I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi. No matter what happens, they can't take that away." He strode quickly down the hall, his steps echoing in the silence.

The tall master stood outside the door to Yoda's quarters. He felt very much like the gawky young padawan who had stood in that same spot so many times, dreading the certain scolding that awaited him inside that door. It didn't help that the three deep welts on his arse were still smarting heavily from the earlier forcible interruption of coitus and his ego wasn't feeling much better after the verbal whipping in the Council chamber. He almost wished the little gnome would just take a cane to him and be done with it.

Unfortunately, although he wasn't feeling particularly objective right now, in his more reasonable moments Qui-Gon would probably have admitted that a lot of the current situation was pretty much his own fault. He could just imagine what some people thought of him; a picture came into his head of a lecherous love-crazed old fool who couldn't keep his hands off his luscious young boy toy. He snorted aloud at that image and shook his head. That's probably what he'd turn into if he couldn't figure out how to start thinking with his head instead of his cock.

"Funny you think this is, hmmm?" came a voice from behind him.

Qui-Gon groaned to himself; his timing today was definitely bad. "No, Master."

"Hmmmph, very serious it is, Padawan."

"Yes, Master. Uhh, Master, I do have a mission to prepare for. Perhaps we could talk after I get back." Qui-Gon's feeble diversionary attempt trailed off weakly as Yoda glared at him and raised his stick. He hastily continued, "But now is just fine, Master."

A blast of hot, moist air whooshed into the hall as Qui-Gon stepped back from the door to let Yoda precede him into the humid quarters. He stood worrying his lower lip for a moment before crossing the familiar threshold. That the temperature had been left at Yoda's normal setting instead of the lower one he used when he expected guests was a sign of the extent of the small master's displeasure.

Once inside, Qui-Gon removed his cloak and carefully hung it next to the door. As he turned, he saw Yoda looking at him expectantly and tapping his stick on the floor. He recognized that sign from his padawan days and sighed. He bent to remove his boots and socks, thus ensuring he wouldn't be able to make a quick exit. Barefooted, he went to his customary spot in the middle of the room, kneeling so that he was at eye level with his former master, composing himself for what promised to be an uncomfortable stay.

For the next twenty minutes Yoda wandered slowly around the room muttering to himself while Qui-Gon meekly sat in silence, eyes downcast and hands resting on his thighs. Although Qui-Gon was well acquainted with this tactic, that didn't make it any more comfortable. He felt the sweat begin to gather and trickle down his face, ribs and back. He was well aware that if he tried to use the Force to adjust his temperature or ease the sting in his backside he would be soundly thumped, so he simply waited.

The diminutive master abruptly stopped in front of Qui-Gon and banged his stick loudly. "Qui-Gon Jinn," he said in an exasperated tone. "More trouble you are than all of my other padawans in last six hundred years. A Jedi Master you are supposed to be."

"Yes, Master."

"Control you are supposed to have, but acting like rutting Radnerian renbert you have been."

"Yes, Master."

"When first you came to me, told you I did that stronger than usual are the feelings between you and your padawan. Told you also that easy it would not be, hmmm?"

"I remember, Master. We waited almost a year, until after Obi-Wan turned 21, to become intimate. And we did ask for permission first, Master." There was a tinge of defensiveness in his tone.

"Hmmpph. For once, something right you did." Yoda pointed his stick at Qui-Gon. "And asking first is probably only reason separated today you were not."

Qui-Gon started and looked up at his master as a chill swept through him despite the swampy atmosphere.

"Oh yes. Several there were on Council who argued strongly that separated now you should be."

"But, Master."

Yoda waved his stick at Qui-Gon as he began pacing slowly back and forth. "Warned you were, Qui-Gon. Fix problem you did not. Final straw was Galeceen. Very strong arguments they had, very convincing, especially when your past behavior they also brought up."

"But they offered us three choices today, Master."

"Thank Master Windu you and Obi-Wan should for that."

"Mace? Mace spoke up for us?" Qui-Gon responded incredulously. "I've always followed the spirit of the Code. Since he's been a Council Member, though, Mace has made it quite clear that he doesn't much like it that I don't follow the letter of the Code and all his rules."

"Dismiss old friends so quickly you should not. Dismiss their beliefs you should not either," Yoda shot back harshly.

"Yes, Master. My apologies, Master."

Yoda looked at him sharply once more before continuing. "In Council, argue on your behalf I did, but many there are who said I favor you because my padawan you were."

"Yes, Master, I understand that, and I do appreciate what you have done for me." Qui-Gon bowed respectfully.

"Council was split until Mace spoke about you and rules you so lightly mock. Convinced them he did that very important it must be when rebel like Qui-Gon Jinn tried so hard to follow the traditional rules, at least in the beginning. Argued that solution within the rules should be offered, a solution fair to both master and padawan."

Yoda came to a halt directly in front of Qui-Gon. "Choices they agreed to, but watching closely many are. Willing to wait they are because expect you to fail they do." Yoda poked Qui-Gon with his gimmer stick for emphasis. "Say they do that arrogant and stubborn is Jinn, cares more for own path than for being a Jedi he does, and has not the control to follow the rules if they suit him not."

"They're wrong," Qui-Gon said heatedly, his hands clenching into fists. "Being a Jedi is my life, it's what I am. Just because I disagree with them on what is right instead of what some centuries-old rule says does not make me any less a Jedi."

He went on, his voice rising and eyes darkening in anger, "I've put up with them for years and I have had enough. If they want to play their little power games, quote musty old books instead of looking at reality and can't get their heads out of their collective orifices, fine. I will take their choices and their stupid rules and prove them wrong. I will find a way, I swear it."

Yoda looked at his former apprentice for a moment as if about to speak, but instead softly sighed as his ears began to droop. Qui-Gon blinked as he felt the Force shiver with a wave of sadness and resignation when Yoda began to turn away.

"Master, what's wrong?" Qui-Gon stared at the retreating back in bewilderment.

Yoda shook his head as he silently shuffled toward the door.

"Master, please, I don't understand what's wrong," Qui- Gon pleaded. "Please."

Yoda stopped, then stood as if thinking for a moment. Very slowly he turned around and shuffled back to stand in front of Qui-Gon once more. For a long minute, he simply stood and looked at the kneeling man, both clawed hands clasped tightly around the head of his gimmer stick. Finally he began to speak in a mournful, quiet voice.

"Qui-Gon, care for you a great deal I do and always will, but difficult you can be. Speak we did many months ago. Knew I did that feelings between you and Obi-Wan were very strong. Agree to support your request I willingly did. Glad I was that so happy together you were. Promised me then that control you would have, that control you would teach Obi-Wan. Gave me your word you did."

Yoda paused for a moment as if gathering his thoughts. Qui-Gon remained silent. "Succeed you did not. Too stubborn you are to acknowledge true problem. Too proud you are to ask for help. Your own failings you mask with anger." Yoda looked sadly at his former padawan. "Much pain there will be for you and Obi- Wan. But help you I cannot if still you refuse to see the truth."

As he finished speaking, Yoda opened his shields so that Qui-Gon could see his actions as his master had seen them and revealed the depth of the worry and anguish he had felt as he watched his beloved padawan blindly race down a destructive path.

Qui-Gon rocked back on his heels with a gasp. His heart feeling like a giant hand was squeezing it, Qui-Gon sat speechless, unable to move. Finally seeing his true self reflected back at him in the Force mirror of his master's pain, he was aghast at the things he had done and said. He was flooded with remorse as he realized how totally oblivious and self-centered he had been for the last three months.

Qui-Gon cringed inwardly as he finally acknowledged his self-delusion, his insistence that things would be all right even after he was called before the Council the first time, and his increasingly brusque rejections of Yoda's offers of assistance as he became defensive whenever Yoda even hinted that anything might be wrong with the love that was consuming him. Qui-Gon's face burned as he remembered the disrespectful way he had brushed off his Master's urgent last attempt to discuss the issue that night before he and Obi-Wan had left for Galeceen. Every angry remark, every nasty, spiteful comment, every ignored overture came back to flay him like an acid whip to his soul. Blinded indeed he must have been that he could have so deliberately and unthinkingly hurt one he cared for so much.

Blinking, he looked up at the huddled figure who waited patiently for him to sort out his feelings. Slowly Qui-Gon bowed lower and lower, finally prostrating himself at Yoda's feet.

"Force, what have I done? Master, I am so sorry," he whispered, fighting to get the words out of his rapidly tightening throat. He lowered his shields to show the sincerity of his repentance, baring his inner feelings and leaving himself defenseless. "I am so very sorry. I have been unworthy of your teachings. Please, Master, can you ever forgive me?"

The wizened being lowered himself carefully to the floor, letting his padawan's head rest on his lap, Qui-Gon's tears wetting his robe as the sobs began in earnest. Softly petting the long hair with one hand, he gently rubbed the other clawed hand on a quivering shoulder until the shaken man had calmed down. Eventually Qui-Gon was able to sit back up on his knees, scrubbing at his red eyes and running nose with a sleeve.

"Better now, Padawan?"

Qui-Gon nodded slowly, not yet trusting himself to answer.

"Make us some tea you will, please."

"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon responded, thankful for the familiar, mundane task to help collect himself. He rose and bowed. "Thank you, Master."

Yoda gestured toward the kitchen. "Tea first, then talk we will."

"Yes, Master."

Qui-Gon leaned back against the low couch his Master sat on, his long legs drawn up almost to his chest, hands resting on his knees. It was relatively comfortable as Yoda had lowered the temperature in the room while they finished their tea. Qui-Gon had asked Yoda to allow Obi-Wan to join the discussion since this issue was clearly important to his future and wellbeing. Now both beings sat, each wrapped in his own thoughts, as they waited for the young man to arrive. Qui-Gon was grateful that his master had forced him to see the truth, but it was still a painful ordeal trying to come to terms with his own behavior. ~ In more ways than one, ~ he thought, wincing as he shifted his weight on his still-aching posterior.

The door slid open and Obi-Wan stepped inside hesitantly, apparently feeling the lingering Force eddies from Yoda and Qui-Gon's earlier encounter. He bowed politely to both Jedi as Yoda waved over him to a seat, but the question in his eyes was clearly directed at his own master.

Qui-Gon watched silently as Obi-Wan glided gracefully across the room. He was still frequently astonished at the remarkable gift the Force had provided to him. It was incredible enough to have been blessed with such a talented and willing apprentice, a bright light in the Force who would undoubtedly be a great knight some day. It was beyond his comprehension, however, why such a wonderful young man had chosen to return his love. He could only shake his head in wonder, offer his thanks to the Force and pray that he would prove worthy of such good fortune. Looking up into his padawan's steadfast gaze, though, Qui-Gon had to drop his own eyes. At the moment he was not feeling at all worthy or deserving.

There was an uneasy silence for a long moment until Yoda stirred. "Welcome, Obi-Wan. About you and Qui-Gon we need to talk, hmm. Listen to your master you will."

"Yes, Master Yoda." Obi-Wan nodded respectfully.

"Obi-Wan, my love, there are some things I need to say," said Qui-Gon. He took a slow deep breath as he paused a moment to gather his thoughts. "Master Yoda and I have been talking about the relationship you and I have, and I have come to realize that I have made a lot of mistakes these last few months." He raised his head, swallowed hard. "I have not been in control of the situation and I refused to admit it. I would like to apologize to you both for the mess I've made of things, and especially for the poor example I have set for you, Obi-Wan."

"Master, I know we've been having some problems, and I... well, I guess it's obvious now we lost control of things," Obi-Wan said softly. He had to pause to look away a moment as he swallowed hard. He continued in a hopeful tone, "You have been working on it, though, Master. We've tried at least a dozen new meditation techniques and had lots of discussions. Isn't there anything else we can do to try to -"

Qui-Gon held up a hand. "There is a lesson here for both of us. I refused to listen to criticism or accept help because I thought I had control of the situation and grew defensive if anyone suggested otherwise. I hurt my master with many of the things I said and did; I even held some things back from you that I should not have."

"Ah, like those things you said to Master Yoda that night before we left for Galeceen? And the fact that you had been called before the Council before today and didn't tell me?"

Qui-Gon winced and nodded at his apprentice's astute observations. "Yes, exactly, Padawan. I was wrong to treat my own master so shamefully when he tried to help us and I was wrong not to let you know how seriously the Council was looking at us. And the things I let happen on Galeceen were totally inexcusable."

"But Master, how can it be your fault that our feelings turned out to be so much stronger than either of us realized? We both know that many of the incidents were because I started them. There were too many times I couldn't keep my hands off you." Obi-Wan dropped his eyes, staring at his hands as they lay clenched together in his lap. "Certainly on Galeceen I initiated much of our lovemaking, even though I should have realized how offensive it would be to our hosts. And today..." He dragged a shame-faced look in Master Yoda's direction. "I do feel very badly about what has happened, about what almost happened in the garden, and I am sorry." He finished anxiously, "But I also can't ignore the way I feel about you, Master, and how much I need you."

"Padawan, our feelings are nobody's `fault'. I failed in my duty as your master to teach you because I was unwilling to let myself be taught."

Obi-Wan pondered for a few moments, brow furrowed. "I think I understand, Master. So are we here to ask Master Yoda to help us? Because I have been thinking of the choices the Council talked about, and the only thing that keeps running around in my head is how much I couldn't bear to be separated from you."

Qui-Gon sighed. His apprentice certainly had a knack for getting right to the important points. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Yoda's ears twitching as the small master fought to keep a grin off his face. They hadn't actually gotten quite this far in their earlier discussions, and he knew the little gnome tended to enjoy seeing his overly proud padawan humbled when he did something particularly stupid. ~ Oh well, I suppose I really did make a mess of things this time. I do owe him his little triumph, ~ he thought to himself, ~ May as well give him something interesting to crow about. ~

Twisting up and around on to his knees and shuffling to a spot directly in front of his master, Qui-Gon bowed to Yoda with a grand flourish. "O most noble and wonderful Master of mine, most discerning domine and puissant purveyor of penetrating perception, thy unworthy and ignorant Padawan beseeches thee. I most humbly beg your pardon for my grievous errors and ask for thy assistance. I've made a really major mistake this time and need your help, Master, please."

As he laid his forehead on Yoda's knees and waited for him to stop cackling, Qui-Gon now had a sideways view of his own padawan scrunched down in his chair with one hand pressed hard to his mouth. He could faintly hear the unJedi-like giggle that was trying desperately to escape from behind Obi-Wan's hand. ~ That's all right, I owe him as well for my mistakes, ~ he thought as he waited patiently to find out if his master was going to thump him for that outrageous nonsense he had just uttered.

Yoda finally stopped laughing long enough to get his breath back. He reached down to place one hand under his padawan's chin and tilt his head up so he could look into the dark blue eyes. "Qui-Gon Jinn, an idiot you are. Death of me you will be some day, my Padawan." There was a snicker from Obi-Wan's direction.

"Yes, Master. I hope not, Master. I love you, Master," Qui-Gon replied ingenuously while keeping one eye out for the location of the seemingly ubiquitous gimmer stick.

"Know what you are trying to do, yes I do," Yoda replied. "Thump you I should on general principles. Good lesson for your padawan, hmmm?"

"Yes, Master. But I really do want your help, Master," said Qui-Gon humbly.

Yoda's expression turned serious. Reaching out to gently pat his apprentice's shoulder, he replied, "Help you I will. Come, sit up here. Explain to me you will why such a problem your love has become."

"Yes, Master." Qui-Gon got up from his knees and seated himself on the couch near Yoda. He drew a deep breath and slowly let it out as he considered where to start.

"Some of this you already know, Master. Over a year ago Obi-Wan was injured in a terrorist explosion during our mission on Behistur. I helped the locals get as many people out as I could, then went back in to look for Obi-Wan. Our bond was still intact, at least enough that I believed he was still alive, but I couldn't feel anything over it. Finally I found Obi-Wan under a fallen wall. He was covered in blood and barely breathing. Obi-Wan lay in a coma from his head injuries for four days. I knew he was alive, but I couldn't feel him." Qui-Gon had to stop for a moment; it still hurt to remember those endless days sitting beside his pale, silent padawan, unable to tell him how much the young man meant to him.

"I heard you calling in the Force, Master," Obi-Wan said softly. "It was very strange, like I was floating above the room. I could see you sitting by the bed, holding my hand and crying. I realized I had to come back to tell you how much I loved you, that I couldn't bear to leave you behind alone."

Qui-Gon smiled gratefully at his apprentice before resuming his narrative. "My prayers were eventually answered when Obi-Wan woke up. For a while we just kept interrupting each other trying to explain our feelings, but we finally got it sorted out that we were trying to tell each other the same thing, that we loved each other."

Master and apprentice looked at each other, smiled fondly as they relived that special moment in their minds. Finally Qui-Gon continued soberly, "We had a lot of long discussions and a lot of meditations before we both agreed that we believed our feelings were true but we needed to go slowly."

"We knew that the Council would examine us closely when we asked for a waiver to the Code to become intimate. Obi-Wan was not long past his twentieth naming day, so we decided to wait until Obi-Wan turned twenty-one since that was the formal age of adulthood for both of our home planets. It gave us several months where we could show the Council that we had been able to restrain ourselves. We hoped that by showing that we had done everything we could to follow the rules it would help convince the Council to give us the waiver."

"In that much was your thinking correct," Yoda interjected. "Such a contrast it was to your reputation that greatly surprised and impressed several Council members it did."

"But just knowing how important it was didn't always make it any easier," put in Obi-Wan. "We tried never to do anything more than hold hands, but there were an awful lot of times we had to go down to the training arenas and work ourselves into exhaustion so we could sleep. I'm sure we must have set some kind of record for cold showers and I know I certainly went through a lot of clean sheets during those months." One corner of his mouth quirked upward as he looked knowingly at his master who blushed and looked away.

Obi-Wan leaned forward in his seat, loosely clasping his hands in front of him as his forearms rested on his knees. "I have no doubts that it was worth the time to wait. It gave us time to continue to explore our feelings, to establish how much we meant to each other as people. But Master Yoda, I know I couldn't have made it through that time without my master's guidance and control. There were times I wanted so very badly to kiss him, to touch him, to make love to him, and he would stop us. It was Master Qui-Gon who came up with a new meditation for us, one where we focused together on our goal, learning to release the frustration of unsatisfied desire to the Force."

"Did well, both of you, until after the waiver was granted. Since then, control you lost. Explain this you must before understand how to help you I can," Yoda said.

"Well, it's a little hard to put into words, Master," Qui-Gon replied. "The first few weeks we were together we spent hours every night just kissing and learning each other's body and reactions. It was as if there was nothing else in the galaxy but the two of us and the fire we were building in the Force. Each look was another piece of kindling, every kiss another spark, every touch a dry branch which flamed on the pile. Every orgasm was an explosion of superheated air, throwing thundering golden lightning in the air to blind us. As we went on, it was almost as if we were creating a bed of glowing coals that was a constant awareness of our love. After a few weeks it took only a look or a touch to cause the embers to burst back into flames, flames which engulfed us with almost frightening ease and speed."

"In a way, it became an addiction," Obi-Wan added softly. "It felt so wonderful loving Qui-Gon. It was warm and safe inside the flames when we were together, as if we were only whole and complete inside the fire. When we had to be apart, I began to feel cold, almost numb if we were apart long enough, and so incomplete. It was so very easy to get warm again, so tempting, that I had more and more difficulty resisting that temptation."

"We were both finding it hard to resist," Qui-Gon continued. "I knew we had to find a way to rein this in. I couldn't let it couldn't go on forever; a fire that fierce must eventually be controlled or burn itself out. I believed that because we had managed so well for all those months before that we really could do it."

Qui-Gon sighed, then turned to look directly at Yoda. "It is obvious now that I badly underestimated its potency. Every time I thought I had come up with a way to temper the flames a new spark would set it off again." He held his hands out in defeat. "I don't know what else to do any more, Master. Please help us."

The room settled into silence as Master Yoda pondered the problem. After several minutes, he stirred and looked at his former apprentice. "An experiment you must do for me. Need to see more clearly I do."

"What do you want us to do?" asked Qui-Gon.

"Lower your shields so Force currents I can feel and kiss you will."

"But Master, the Council has forbidden us to even touch each other, surely they - "

"Order it I do," Yoda directed imperiously. "Shield the room I will. Necessary this is."

Qui-Gon looked at his Padawan nervously. He ran the tip of his tongue along the edge of his lower lip as his breathing quickened. Obi-Wan looked back at him uncertainly, a fine sheen of sweat forming on his face as his hands began to clench and unclench nervously.

"Master Yoda," breathed Qui-Gon, his eyes fastened on Obi-Wan's lips as he felt the familiar tug urging him on. "I am... not entirely certain that I will be able to stop."

"Take care of that I will. Get on with it you will."

"Yes, Master." Remembering the incident earlier in the day, Qui-Gon hesitated as he glanced at his master.

Noting the impatient twitching of Yoda's hand on his gimmer stick, Qui-Gon quickly went to kneel between Obi-Wan's knees. With the low height of the chair on which Obi-Wan sat, Qui-Gon found himself almost eye to eye with his apprentice. Both men took a moment to try to center themselves and consciously released their outermost shielding. Even without touching, Qui-Gon could feel the heat of their love warming his heart, the comforting fire beginning to flicker in the back of his mind. He could see the answering glimmers over the bond, beckoning him, drawing him in.

He slowly raised both hands and placed them gently, one on each of Obi-Wan's knees. He and his padawan leaned toward each other, breathing in each other's scent. Any uneasiness he still felt vanished at the first brush of lips. Qui-Gon felt a spike of passion as if a Force wind had breathed life into the hot coals of their love and set it aflame once more. He closed his eyes, releasing himself to the moment and letting himself revel in the feel of soft lips against his, hot tongue tentatively seeking entrance to his mouth, and the first electric touch of tongue against tongue. Qui-Gon could feel the growing warmth in his groin, already responding to the sweet siren song of hot blood. Knowing that he should not take this any farther, he thought about disengaging from the wet heat at his mouth, but his body was not responding to his inner voice of reason.

Qui-Gon felt a hand at the back of his neck, pressing him more firmly into the kiss, and he responded eagerly. His inner voice became a disembodied and powerless observer, watching his large hands begin to slowly slide upwards from knees to thighs. This was good; this was right. The smaller body was sliding down from the chair to press closer as their hands roamed, hearts seeking completion in the growing flames, urgency growing as want began to turn to need.

A Force blanket that settled over the two lovers slowly smothered the leaping flames. Qui-Gon gave an anguished moan as he fought to breathe against the stifling envelopment, fought to keep the fire alive. Both men clung together desperately, ending up on the floor with their arms around each other, bodies pressed together, but the battle was quickly over. Qui-Gon felt his reason return as he opened his eyes to find himself lying on his side, Obi-Wan's head tucked under his chin, arms wrapped around each other, both men breathing hard as if they had just run a sprint. He could still feel the hot coals of their passion, but they had been banked under a deep layer of Force like a thick coating of burnt ash.

"What. what happened?" Qui-Gon gasped out.

Obi-Wan pushed back from his master to lie on his back, eyes blinking as he slowly returned to reality. He gave a soft moan as his rapid breathing slowly began to subside.

Qui-Gon sat up, bracing himself with his arms stretched out behind him. He looked over to where his master sat motionless, eyes closed.

"Master Yoda?"

Yoda partially opened his eyes and looked toward Qui- Gon and his Padawan. "Long time it has been." he muttered.

Qui-Gon let his head roll back, closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing slowly as he waited for Master Yoda to explain what had just happened. He could feel his apprentice regaining his equilibrium and sent calming reassurance over their bond.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath, then sat up in a crosslegged position. He closed his eyes and rubbed slowly at his right temple for a few moments. Taking another deep breath, he began to reach for Qui-Gon.

"Do not," commanded Yoda. Obi-Wan snatched his hand back as if burned.

"Master, what is happening?" asked Qui-Gon.

"Hmmm. Very strong, very powerful is the attraction between you. Many, many years has it been since such a strong attraction have I seen outside of a formal bond created with help of soul healers. Such a bond is forbidden to those below the rank of knight," Yoda said. "Force runs strong between you, yes. Let it grow almost unchecked you have." He thumped his stick on the ground. "Unforeseen this was. Helpful it would have been if much sooner you had come to me."

"Yes, Master, I understand that now and I apologize again, but what's done is done. Is there nothing we can do now about controlling our compulsions?" Qui-Gon replied.

Yoda did not directly reply. "Remember do you the three choices Council gave you?"

"Yes, Master."

"Decision you must make before actions we can decide. Know what you want to do I must before help you I can."

There was an uncomfortable silence for several minutes as the two younger Jedi were lost in thought.

Finally, Obi-Wan spoke up. "For me, the first choice is not at all acceptable. I couldn't bear to be separated and given to another master. Qui-Gon is far more to me than just a lover, he has been father, teacher and friend. It's a very complex and wonderful relationship that goes far beyond the training bond." He shook his head. "Knowing what we have been and are to each other, I'm not sure I could even form another bond with someone else even if the Council breaks the training bond I have with Qui-Gon. And if I had a new master, he would have the right to forbid contact with any person he felt was disruptive to my training."

"And I'm not sure it would be fair to another master, trying to train someone knowing how strongly that person was attracted to someone else," Qui-Gon added thoughtfully. "If there were no longer any limits on our personal relationship, I'm not sure what either of us would really do if a new master tried to forbid Obi-Wan from seeing me. In any event, I would have to agree with Obi-Wan in that I don't think I could ever choose a voluntary separation. My mission to Vreponya is only two weeks but I am already dreading being apart temporarily."

Yoda nodded as if expecting the answer. "Under the second option together you will stay. When Kenobi is knighted, intimate you may be again."

Qui-Gon answered without hesitation, "Unless there is some way to totally repress our feelings as if they never were, I don't believe I could survive the years until Obi-Wan is knighted. I can't fully control it now even when we are able to achieve frequent release. I have to admit that I am well and truly addicted; this love we share is stronger than I am right now. Even if we could repress our feelings, the thought of living under the Council's constant scrutiny, the constant questioning, the examinations every time we went offplanet for even a short mission." Qui-Gon shuddered. "I don't get along with them now; I don't think I could stand living under their microscope."

"My master is right. They wouldn't trust us and I can't say I'd blame them. I don't trust myself to be able to hold back for that long," added Obi-Wan.

"It would seem that the only choice left to us is the Shayvanu," continued Qui-Gon. "From what I remember reading, it appeared to be a very rare exercise and used only in what the text referred to as extreme cases. If I understood it correctly, the two participants are isolated from the rest of the Temple behind a Force shield and are then given a series of tasks which involve increasingly intimate contact. The contact must be halted, sustained or increased at the direction of the testers. In our case, I could see where that would be a very difficult thing to do, but I don't know that we have any choice but to try it."

Yoda looked thoughtfully at both men for several moments. "Basically correct is your description of the Shayvanu. Other choices there always are though."

"Master Yoda, I was there at the Council session. It was very clear those were the only three choices the Council gave us," Obi-Wan responded. "What other choices could there be?"

Yoda stared steadily at his former apprentice, saw the dawning realization in the darkening blue eyes as the blood slowly drained from the man's face. "Yes, my Padawan, understand you do, hmmm? Choices there always are, do or do not, be or be not. Jedi master are you now, but will Jedi you always be, will Jedi knight your padawan become? Fail or refuse the Shayvanu and decide you may have to, to be lovers or to be Jedi."

Qui-Gon drew a shaky breath as he thought about the implications of this possibility. His padawan looked at him quizzically, one eyebrow raised, apparently not yet fully understanding. "Obi-Wan, if we fail or refuse the Shayvanu, the Council will separate us and do whatever they feel is necessary to keep us apart. If that happens, the only way we can be together will be to wait until you are knighted or for one or both of us to leave the Jedi Order."

"How could I make such a choice, Master? To be a Jedi knight is what I have worked for my entire life, but a life without you is only half a life," replied Obi-Wan miserably. He turned to Yoda with a plea, "Surely, Master Yoda, you have seen this before. You must know what has happened to others in our situation. What choices did they make?"

"Seen it I have, yes, two beings so strongly attracted they disrupted Temple or were destructive to themselves. Twice was the choice made to ask the soulhealers to try to remove the compulsion. Difficult this is, more difficult the longer one waits. Early enough in one case they asked and were successful. Too long they waited for the other pair; removed the attraction they did but also much else besides, lost much Force awareness they did." Yoda paused and looked directly at Obi-Wan, "Not a choice for you is this, much too long have you waited. A Force dampener you may as well wear as let the healers remove what they must."

Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan shudder as if remembering the required training exercises using the Force dampeners. His own recollections of those exercises sent a sympathetic ripple down his spine.

"Five other times have I seen this problem. Five times was the Shayvanu offered and accepted. Three times was the Shayvanu successfully passed," continued Yoda.

The long silence that followed was finally broken by Obi-Wan. "Master Yoda, what happened to the other two?" he asked diffidently.

Looking down at the floor, Yoda finally spoke in a soft voice. "For one pair, separation they refused and left the Jedi Order. Master and padawan was the other pair over two hundred years ago. Separated by the Council of that time they were, but too hot was the fire that joined them. Killed herself did the padawan and of grief it is said the master died soon after."

Another long silence followed as each person sat with their own thoughts. Qui-Gon was the first to move, getting up from the floor and going to the low couch to sit down next to Yoda. "Master, I believe that Obi-Wan and I were meant to be both Jedi and together. I do not think the Force has mislead me in this. The Shayvanu is the path we must take and the test we must pass. If three other pairs have passed, then clearly it can be done. Can you help us, teach us what we must learn, my Master?"

"Some techniques I can show you, but true key to this test is strength of will, purity of devotion. Powerful force of the light is love, but love this strong has both dark and light. Understanding of both you need, face and tame the dark in heart of the fire of the Force you must. Hard it will be even if united and strong you remain Burn you it will if you falter. First step you have taken by seeking understanding, but much work remains. Certain both of you must be. Faith in each other you must have."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan looked at each other for a moment, then closed their eyes, calming themselves so they could better hear the voice of the Force. When they finally opened their eyes again, Qui-Gon knew with absolute certainty that this was the right course. He and Obi-Wan were meant to be together and together they would find the strength to learn to control their love. He smiled at his apprentice and saw a quiet, confident smile reflected back at him.

"This is the right path, my Master, and I believe I speak for both us when I tell you that we will walk this path together," said Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan nodded in agreement.

"Very well. Much to do there is before ready will you both be for the Shayvanu," replied Yoda. He shuffled over to his desk and retrieved several datapadds. He returned and gave datapadds to Qui-Gon and his apprentice. "Work with Padawan Kenobi I will while you are gone. Information on the Shayvanu exercises I have given to you both. Study it you must. Speak again we will when you return."

Qui-Gon nodded. His ship was leaving in just a few hours and he needed to make his final preparations for departure on his assigned mission. He stood up and went to the door, putting his boots on as Obi-Wan moved to join him.

"Thank you, Master, for your help and for your patience. I will contact you soon." Qui-Gon and his apprentice bowed to Master Yoda, then took their leave.

The cold early morning fog matched his spirits as Qui-Gon stepped out on his balcony to meditate. It had been almost two weeks since he had left Coruscant and his duties on Vreponya had proved to be light. His role as witness to the various royal wedding rituals was mostly ceremonial and he had had ample time to study the information his master had provided on the Shayvanu. Ample time, also, for extended meditation, meditation which had been of little help in dispelling the growing ache inside.

Moving to the edge of the balcony, Qui-Gon stood straight and silent, his eyes turned toward Coruscant. Despite the distance, he could still feel the banked embers of his love for Obi-Wan, tendrils of heat that seeped over their bond. That heat was not nearly enough to dispel the gnawing coldness in his belly that kept him awake at night or soothe the sense of incompletion in his soul. For nearly an hour the Jedi Master stayed, hands folded in the sleeves of his robe, as he contemplated the fiery web in which the Force had enmeshed him and his beloved padawan. He had struggled with the same questions since leaving Coruscant and was no closer to achieving an answer than the day he left. And to tell the truth, as he studied the details of what would be required during the Shayvanu exercise, a small feather of doubt and despair had begun to tickle the back of his mind.

A chime sounded softly in the thick fog, signaling the imminent start of the final ceremonies. Qui-Gon sighed in frustration, then rebuked himself sharply. He was a Jedi, a Jedi with duties to perform. His personal problems could not be allowed to interfere with those duties, however trivial they might seem. Qui-Gon shook himself, letting his emotions flow into the Force. Resuming his accustomed air of serene dignity, the Jedi Master squared his shoulders and sedately paced from his room.

The shuttle settled onto the landing pad with a groan and a crack of cooling metal. An acrid tang from the engine exhaust drifted through the warm afternoon air. A minute later a door opened with a small whoosh of stale air, the landing ramp hitting the ground with a dull thud. A half dozen travelers straggled out, followed a moment later by a tall cloaked figure with a pack slung over one shoulder.

Qui-Gon paused a moment at the foot of the ramp. He had been struggling with competing emotions on the two day trip; wanting desperately to rejoin Obi-Wan, but fighting to control the urge, knowing that they were forbidden to even touch. Unable to sleep properly, unable to meditate properly, he was tired and in a decidedly un-masterly funk.

// Obi-Wan? //

The dead silence over their training bond brought Qui-Gon sharply out of his self-absorption, his hand twitching toward his lightsaber.

// Obi-wan! Where are you? //

~ Force, what has happened? ~ All thoughts of his earlier turmoil evaporated, his focus solely on his apprentice. He maintained a serene exterior but was frantically reaching out with all of his senses, extending his Force awareness even as he forced himself to start walking calmly across the open pad. He loosened his hold on the pack as his gaze darted about, automatically searching for danger.

"Master?"

Qui-Gon spun to his right, sinking into a semi-crouch. Relief flooded through him as he recognized his apprentice.

"Welcome home, Master." Obi-Wan bowed respectfully.

"Padawan?" Qui-Gon asked hoarsely as he straightened up. "What's wrong, Obi-Wan? I can't feel anything over our bond." He started to reach out to hug the young man, only catching himself at the last moment. Pulling his arms back, Qui-Gon looked more closely at Obi-Wan, noticing the pallor and light sheen of sweat as the apprentice pulled back his hood.

"There is nothing wrong, Master," Obi-Wan said softly. He hesitated, wetting his lips before continuing. "I've been having trouble coping while you've been gone and I... I wasn't entirely certain I could handle seeing you again without jumping you." A shaky attempt at a smile. "I didn't want to risk any problems with the Council, so I asked Master Yoda to get a Force dampener for me."

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon breathed. He was all too aware of how much the young man hated the Force dampeners; during the last required exercise the apprentice had even become physically ill from the effects. Suddenly his own personal concerns seemed petty in the face of such devotion and sacrifice. Almost overwhelmed by the realization that he was the object of that devotion, he could only whisper, "Oh, my Obi-Wan."

"Master Yoda wants to see us after latemeal, Master," Obi-Wan said, a faint blush on his cheeks as he looked down. "That doesn't give us much time. May I take your bag, Master?"

"Of course, Padawan." Qui-Gon handed over his pack, once more fighting hard against the urge to hug his apprentice. It was unsettling to see Obi-Wan but not to be able to feel his presence over their bond. "Are you sure you're all right, Obi-Wan?"

A nod and a quick smile. "I'll be fine, Master. It's only for a short while longer; Master Yoda will take the dampener off when we visit."

"Then the sooner we get back and eat the sooner we can go to Master Yoda's quarters." Qui-Gon looked at his apprentice, his still-tight throat belying his light words. He bit his lower lip to keep moisture from welling from his eyes. "I love you, Obi-Wan."

"And I love you, Master," came the answering whisper. There was a quick flash of the old familiar cheeky grin as Obi-Wan slung the pack over his shoulder, nodded in the direction of the door. "After you, Master."

The door to Master Yoda's quarters slid open quietly, a gush of warm dry air spilling into the corridor. Qui-Gon started to enter, but stopped abruptly when he saw Master Windu sitting cross-legged on a large cushion. Both Council members were drinking tea as they chatted. Yoda gestured to Qui-Gon to come in.

The two lovers hung their cloaks by the door. Qui-Gon sat on the old couch next to Yoda and Obi-Wan took his favorite seat in the stuffed chair. There was a pot of tea on the small end table.

"Master Yoda, you wished to see us?" Qui-Gon asked. He glanced warily at Mace, nodded to acknowledge his presence.

"Yes, with both of you I wish to speak." Yoda fussed with the teapot, pouring himself another cup. "Tea, would you like?"

"No, thank you, Master," Qui-Gon replied, Obi-Wan shaking his head in agreement. "I think that first we would like to remove the Force dampener Obi-Wan is wearing, please." He glanced surreptitiously at Mace Windu.

Yoda saw the glance. "Aware of your problems is Master Windu. See the seriousness for himself he wishes."

"With your permission, of course," Mace said softly. "I know we have had our differences, Qui-Gon, but I am truly concerned about both you and your padawan, not just the impact your behavior has had on the Order."

Remembering the rather one-sided conversation with Yoda before he left on his mission, Qui-Gon had the grace to blush. "Of course, Mace. Actually, I understand we owe you our gratitude for persuading the Council to allow us choices instead of separating us immediately. I realize now I have handled our situation poorly, especially on Galeceen, but I promise you it was never my intention to bring dishonor to the Order." He nodded in Obi-Wan's direction. "We do appreciate what you did."

"It was the only fair thing to do," Mace replied with a shrug. "The problem was certainly not Obi-Wan's fault, and due regard must be given both to your previous service and the lengths you went to initially to conduct your relationship within the parameters of the Code." He nodded gravely at both men, and continued in a somber tone. "You do understand, I hope, that whatever you choose to do, and whatever the outcome of your choice, the Council must enforce the rules. I have no particular desire to see you separated and in pain, but we are Jedi above all else, and sometimes that can be a very demanding undertaking, requiring great personal sacrifice."

"Yes, I do understand, Mace," Qui-Gon replied softly. He leaned forward, forearms resting loosely across his knees. "I will admit that I may not always comprehend or agree with your positions. I am learning a great deal from trying to deal with our current problems, however, including a much needed reminder on distinguishing a person's opinions from that person's qualities." He shot a wry glance at Yoda. "We both will do what we believe we must, and I respect you for that."

"Fair enough," Mace replied. He turned to Obi-Wan. "And what of you, Padawan Kenobi? You are well on your way to becoming an exceptional knight, but you are in a very difficult situation. This could certainly imperil your progress to that knighthood."

"Thank you, Master Windu." Obi-Wan glanced at his master. "I do understand the requirements of the Code, and also the difficulty of your position. At this point it is up to my master and I to resolve our problems." He shook his head. "Whatever happens, I know you have done what you believed was necessary, sir."

"I believe you will do well, Padawan." Mace smiled as he glanced at Yoda, who was absently tapping his gimmer stick. "I think we have some other business to take care of at the moment, however."

"Force dampener it is time to remove," Yoda declared. He pointed his stick at Qui-Gon. "Compose yourself you will. Strong your shields must be. Difficult it has been for both of you, this time apart, and uncertain the result when removed the dampener is."

Qui-Gon nodded, exchanged a long look with Obi-Wan, then sat back and closed his eyes. He concentrated on attaining calmness, releasing his anxieties to the Force as his breathing slowed and his pulse dropped to a crawl. Qui-Gon's eyelids dragged partially open and he gave a small nod.

Yoda waited patiently next to Obi-Wan, helping the younger man calm himself. When both were ready, he reached up and carefully removed the slender metal collar.

A searing flame vanquished the knot of ice that had settled in Qui-Gon's guts as the bond roared to life. Qui-Gon flinched as if a physical blow had landed, his hands clenched into tight fists. He sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in a shaky trickle. His eyelids fluttered for a moment as he fought to focus and calm himself. Another deep breath, holding the air in for a long moment, releasing in a slow steady whisper. Drops of sweat flowed down his temples.

"Master!"

The ragged cry brought Qui-Gon to his feet before he caught himself. A wave of aching loneliness crashed against his shields, begging for entrance. Qui-Gon forced himself to stand still, swaying slightly, hands pressed tight to his sides. Nostrils flared as he took heavy, controlled breaths. Hardening his shields, he allowed his body to relax, his eyes to open.

"Obi-Wan!"

The apprentice sat hunched in the chair, pale and trembling. Yoda stood next to the chair, one clawed hand on the young man's knee. Sweat ran down Obi-Wan's face and he had bitten deeply into his lower lip. Blood ran freely down his chin, staining his ivory tunic.

Qui-Gon started forward, arms outstretched, but was restrained by Mace before he could take more than a few steps. "Qui-Gon, no," Mace whispered in his friend's ear, arms tight around him.

The two masters struggled briefly before Qui-Gon gave in, realizing how close he had come to sweeping his lover into his arms and kissing him.

"Are you going to be all right?"

Qui-Gon nodded.

Finally released by Mace, Qui-Gon was very aware that his friend watched closely as he paced forward, then sank to his knees next to Yoda.

"I am in control," Qui-Gon said quietly but firmly, as if trying to convince himself. He concentrated on holding his shields while trying to send reinforcing strength to his apprentice.

Mace nodded, then went to the small kitchen. He returned a moment later with a wet cloth and began wiping the blood from Obi-Wan's chin.

Qui-Gon watched silently as the other two masters tended to his apprentice. After a few minutes the young man was relatively calm and clean, although an occasional drop of bright red blood still seeped from his cut lip. Qui-Gon cautiously checked the bond, finding the shields at both ends firm.

"Padawan."

"Yes, Master?" Eyes downcast, Obi-Wan kept his gaze fixed on the floor.

"Are you all right, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked gently.

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan briefly looked up at Qui-Gon. "I apologize for my lack of control. When the dampener came off, the surge of emotion was more than I was prepared to handle."

"It's all right now." Qui-Gon shook his head, once more fighting the urge to pull his apprentice into his arms. "Neither of us knew what would happen."

"First time you have been separated this was. New and difficult situation for both of you," Yoda said as he patted Obi-Wan's knee. "Learn from this you must."

"We haven't had much time to talk yet, but it seems Obi-Wan and I experienced similar symptoms while we were apart," Qui-Gon said thoughtfully. "Being together is warm and comfortable, being apart is cold and painful."

"I felt disconnected," Obi-Wan added, "almost as if part of my soul was missing. It was hard to concentrate and difficult to meditate."

"I too had difficulty meditating, even difficulty sleeping." Qui-Gon spared a glance for Yoda. "Obi-Wan's description is quite apt; I felt like part of me was missing, a cold emptiness gnawing at me."

"Certainly the strength of your reunion was quite impressive," Mace interjected. He resumed his place on the cushion, fingers interlaced. "I had not truly realized just how powerful the feelings between you are. Even between formally bonded couples the emotions are rarely this strong." Mace tilted his head as he looked at Qui-Gon. "I suspect you have already decided to ask for the Shayvanu, and I will support that choice, but everything I have seen so far indicates that you will have a great deal of difficulty trying to complete that exercise."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan exchanged a long glance. Qui-Gon sighed before speaking. "We have indeed decided that the Shayvanu is the only choice." He stood up, turned to face Mace. "We know it will be difficult; but the alternatives are unthinkable."

"Decided it is, yes," Yoda announced. "But much work we have to do before the test." He tapped his stick for emphasis, gesturing everyone back to their seats. The rest of the evening passed quickly as they eagerly worked out their course of action to prepare for the upcoming trial.

The next three days passed in a blur of long hours of meditation, discussions and study, with little time for food or sleep. Yoda worked with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan as they sought to understand the nature of the connection between the two men and looked for ways to control it. True to his word, Mace had supported them in their effort, getting Obi-Wan excused from his classes and even going so far as to wrest permission from the rest of the Council for the two Jedi to have limited physical contact under Yoda's supervision.

Obi-Wan jerked his head up, yawned, then stood and stretched, a bone-cracking effort. Another yawn caught him unawares.

"Sorry, Master," the apprentice said sheepishly, embarrassed at losing his focus.

"Don't worry about it, Padawan. It's been a long couple of days," Qui-Gon replied. He smiled reassuringly as he too stood and stretched, a slow languorous extension of limbs that seemed to fill Yoda's small common room.

"Hmmpphh. Youngsters today, no endurance have you," Yoda rasped as he shuffled in from the fresher.

"Yes, Master Yoda," the two younger Jedi murmured respectfully.

"Two more exercises tonight we must do," the old master announced.

"Yes, Master Yoda," was the chorused groan.

Qui-Gon grinned as Yoda lightly whacked him on the shin. No matter how the situation played out with the upcoming test, he was glad that he had at least re-established his relationship with his master. The arrogant blindness that had led him to drive Yoda away when he had tried to help had been a painful thing to acknowledge, but he was determined not to make that mistake again.

"Over here you will sit." Yoda gestured with his gimmer stick to the spot in front of the old couch. Both men sat on the floor, backs to the couch, legs stretched in front of them.

"Now, bond you will open. Center your feelings, you will."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan released their shields, letting the Force currents swirling around them sink into calm serenity.

"Hold hands you will, your love you will visualize."

Qui-Gon took a deep, slow breath, held it tight. Closing his eyes, he reached out to take Obi-Wan's hand in his. As always, the physical contact sent a flare of passion over the bond. Qui-Gon slowly released his breath, letting the heat of zealous ardor wash over him and flow out to the Force. He felt an answering flow, a gathering calmness over the bond. He opened his eyes, smiled at Obi-Wan, saw the serenity reflected in the blue-gray eyes. The hard work they had put in was paying off in better understanding and control of their relationship and the physical urges that accompanied it. Qui-Gon spared a passing thought for Mace, grateful that the Councilor had obtained the permission that had enabled them to practice with at least some contact.

"Good, good," Yoda said. "Closer you may sit, control you will practice."

Closing his eyes again, Qui-Gon scooted closer to Obi- Wan until he felt the warm presence joined to his, legs, hips and shoulders pressed together as they sat side by side. Obi-Wan's forearm lay atop his, his hand joined to Qui-Gon's upturned hand, fingers laced together.

"Mmmm," Qui-Gon sighed. He let a little more of passion's heat bleed off into the Force, felt the bond stabilize again. "That feels so good." He smiled at the answering squeeze of Obi-Wan's hand. They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes.

Yoda cleared his throat noisily. "Last exercise you will do now." He shuffled out to a portable firepit on the balcony of his quarters. Almost a meter across, beaten copper dark with age and old soot, it sat on squat round legs. Yoda ignited the small logs in the pit, letting the fire grow slowly.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan reluctantly roused. Qui-Gon sighed, released his apprentice's hand. With a half smile he patted Obi-Wan's leg reassuringly before turning away to move to his feet.

The three Jedi joined together on the balcony. Yoda sat between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, a clawed hand on each man's knee. The fire was burning brightly now in the evening darkness.

"Good progress you have made," Yoda said softly. "But very hard the Shayvanu will be. The fire you will consider now." He pressed lightly on the men's knees. "Like your love is the fire. Hot it burns, bright it burns. Burn you it will if control it you do not. Look closely into the fire you will."

The flame leapt and danced in the still night air. Yellow and red the edges flickered, yellow and orange the body of the flame, while the heart of the fire was obscured in darkness. The crackle and roar of the burning logs were loud in the silence. An occasional snap of sparks added sizzle and blue highlights to the fire. The odor of burning wood and the small plume of smoke tickled the noses of all three beings.

"Look closely into the fire," Yoda repeated softly. "Speaks to you it does. What does it say?"

"The flame is hot, hot like our love," Obi-Wan said.

"The flame is bright, the fire is warm," Qui-Gon whispered, "but dark is the heart."

"It makes you feel warm, like our love, like the Force when you meditate," Obi-Wan murmured. "The fire is a good thing when it is under our control."

"A very good thing indeed, when it is controlled. But if you do not understand how it works, how to make it obey your will, it will burn you," Qui-Gon responded.

"Powerful is the fire, like your love," Yoda rumbled. "Bright is the flame, bright is the Force, but dark is the heart of the fire. Powerful is your love, but darkness lies at it's heart, lust that will burn. Turn you to the dark side of the Force it can."

"But the hotter the flame, the purer is the light," Obi-Wan said thoughtfully. "The blue white flame is hottest and brightest of all, with almost no darkness, but its power of destruction is tremendous."

"Our love burns hot, but it is more than lust," Qui- Gon said. "It joins us, calls us to complete each other. We must learn to control and overcome the darkness that lurks in that powerful call, to become one because it is what we wish, not to become one at the compulsion of our attraction."

"Begin to understand you do. Much progress you have made, but face the heart of the fire you must if the Shayvanu you would pass." Yoda took a hand of each man, joined them together. "Feel the power I do. Burn away the darkness you must if keep the light you will. Believe in each other, trust in the Force you must."

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan looked at each other, nodded silently. Their bond hummed with anticipation, with trepidation, with promises unspoken. Qui-Gon gave one last squeeze to Obi-Wan's hand before they each withdrew to their own thoughts.

The three Jedi sat silently as the fire burned itself to a bed of glowing coals.

Master and padawan sat patiently in the Council antechamber. A stranger could not have guessed their inner turmoil, so calm and peaceful were the men's external poses. It was a hard won composure, for the last three days had been intense indeed.

Qui-Gon's fingers twitched involuntarily as Obi-Wan turned toward him. The desire for physical contact was an ever present hunger underlying his serene countenance.

"It will be all right, Master," the young man murmured. A smile lit the blue-gray eyes. "I believe in us."

"The flame may burn, but the light is pure," Qui-Gon chanted softly in return. "The Force is with us."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan leaned back, waiting, a half-smile lingering on his lips.

Qui-Gon let his gaze shift toward the Council chamber door, bowing his head in a moment of contrition. ~ I do need to speak to Mace after this is over. I should never have let our differences sour our relationship. One more thing to chalk up to my prideful stubbornness, ~ he thought as he smiled a bit wryly, glancing at Obi-Wan. ~ I sometimes wonder if the Force gifted me with such a wonderful padawan to help me learn to see my many faults. They have certainly become glaringly apparent these past few months. ~

The slight creaking of the chamber door brought both men to their feet. The attendant duty knight rose from his desk beside the door and summoned them to follow him inside.

"Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi," the knight announced.

Master and apprentice walked to the center of the chamber. As they bowed respectfully to the senior Councilors, Qui-Gon could feel faint eddies of skepticism and impatience swirling in the Force. The few notes of patience and support were almost drowned out.

"Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi, let us get straight to the point," Master Windu said.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan nodded in acknowledgement.

"You were previously summoned before the Council because of your inability to control your personal relationship, which resulted in numerous infractions and complaints and culminated in a proscription by the government of Galeceen. You were given three choices regarding your future relationship: Padawan Kenobi could be reassigned to another master; you could forswear your intimacy and be monitored; or you could undergo the Shayvanu. Do you have any questions about the nature of those choices?"

"No, Master Windu," both men replied.

"Have you made your choice?"

"Yes, Master Windu," Qui-Gon replied, head held high. "We request the Shayvanu."

Mace looked hard at the apprentice, seeking any hesitation or holding back. "Padawan Kenobi, what is your choice?"

"We request the Shayvanu," Obi-Wan repeated firmly. His stance was respectful but resolute.

"Very well." A smile twitched momentarily at Mace's lips. He glanced around the room to ensure he had everyone's full attention. "Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi, you will be taken from here to separate shielded cells to begin the exercise. The full exercise will run between six and eight days." He focused his attention fully on Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. "At any time during the exercise you may request to withdraw, but if you do it will be considered as if you had failed the exercise and you will be separated. Do you understand?"

"We understand, Master Windu."

Mace looked dispassionately at the two Jedi for a moment before continuing. If there was a flash of concern in his eyes it was quickly hidden behind his professional facade. "Very well. Each of you will stay in a different shielded cell for forty-eight hours. This is to be a period of separation and meditation. For the rest of the exercise you will reside jointly in a communal shielded cell with constant monitoring. The only contact with others will be the instructions given over the room comm." He paused to glance briefly at Qui-Gon, but there was no hint of emotion on the bearded face.

"After you have been brought together in the communal cell, for the first twenty-four hours both of you must remain fully clothed and there can be no physical contact. The next test will be to undress each other when commanded, but not to touch. When you continue to the following phase you will be able to touch each other with your hands anywhere you wish except your genitals and you may not kiss. You must stop upon command. When the observers feel the time is appropriate, permission to kiss will be added, again with the requirement to stop upon command."

"They are required to engage in physical contact?" Master Yaddle inquired.

"Yes. The point is to demonstrate control of the relationship. Simply refraining from all contact will be considered an evasion of the exercise and a failure." Mace turned a severe expression on Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. "Is that clearly understood?"

"Yes, Master Windu." Qui-Gon answered firmly, his external appearance still serene. The thought of being watched while making love to Obi-Wan made his skin crawl, though, and he worried about the effect it might have on the young man. He risked a glance out of the corner of his eye and was pleased to note Obi- Wan appeared quite steady and composed.

// If we're going to give them a show, Master, let's make sure it's a good one. //

The flash of lewd imagery from his innocent-appearing apprentice almost caused Qui-Gon to choke as a bit of saliva tried to go down the wrong way. He managed to cover it up by clearing his throat, although he had to lace his fingers together quite tightly inside his robe sleeves to keep from smiling.

"Do you have a question, Master Jinn?"

"No, Master Windu. I simply wished to assure the Council that we understand the purpose of the Shayvanu, and we are fully committed to carrying out both the spirit and letter of the requirements."

Mace pursed his lips and appeared to be on the verge of posing a further question, but instead shook his head slightly and continued his explanation.

"This phase of the exercise generally takes two to three days. There will then be a pause in the exercise while the monitoring team evaluates the progress to that point. During this pause you will again be forbidden to touch; your restraint during this period is an important part of the evaluation. If you have demonstrated appropriate restraint and control, the Shayvanu will proceed to the final phase. The last test is to allow you to kiss or to touch each other anywhere; all forms of contact and intimacy are allowed, including fellatio and intercourse. If you can demonstrate control of your passion, stopping your activities whenever ordered, you will pass the test."

"Stopping at any point when ordered?" Master Plo Koon's concern showed through the metallic tones his air filter created. "Even under normal conditions that is surely a difficult thing to ask of most human males during sexual activities."

"That is nevertheless the requirement of the Shayvanu exercise and the Shayvanu is the option they requested," Mace said. He raised his chin and looked slowly around the circle of Councilors. "Are there any other questions?"

Although Master Koon stirred in his seat, no one spoke.

"Very well. Each Council member has been given a schedule of times when they will be asked to participate in the monitoring of the Shayvanu. The exercise will now proceed." He pressed the comm link embedded in the side of his chair. The outer door opened and two knights entered, hoods up.

"Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi, you will report to Master J'Noor to begin the Shayvanu." He paused as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed. "May the Force be with you."

It was a silent group of Jedi that proceeded ever lower into the depths of the ancient Temple. None remarked as the architecture changed nor as their boot heels clicked on old stone floors instead of whispering on carpet or cushioned duratile. Stopping before a dark wooden door, the lead knight knocked softly. The door swung open to reveal a spare, dimly lit office.

The knight stepped inside and bowed. "Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi," he announced.

"Please enter," came a soft voice from inside the room.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan went in, pausing a moment as their eyes adjusted to the low lighting.

Huge brown eyes slowly blinked. Round fuzzy ears swiveled atop a pointed furry face as a short, gray-muzzled Master rose from his chair and hobbled around the desk to stand before his two visitors.

"Welcome. I am Master J'Noor, and I will be supervising the conduct of the Shayvanu exercise." The old master's voice was surprisingly high and lilting. "Do you understand what the Shayvanu entails?"

"Yes, Master J'Noor," Qui-Gon replied. "We have studied quite extensively, and I believe we understand what will happen."

"From here we will go to the preparation room. You will leave all of your clothing and belongings, go through the cleansing, be issued new clothing, and then taken to your individual meditation cells." The old master paused. "All of the cells here are Force shielded but not dampened. From the time you enter your cell, you will not see or sense another being, not even each other until you are allowed into your communal cell. You will be constantly monitored visually, audibly and by use of the Force. You will receive your instructions through the comm system. Meals will be deposited behind a panel for you. If any time you have difficulties or wish to withdraw, you need only speak aloud; the observers will respond. Also, the doors are not locked; it is entirely up to you to stay or withdraw."

J'Noor stopped, tilted his head, looked sympathetically at Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. "What you are about to undertake is a difficult exercise, but it has been successfully completed by others before you. I will answer any of your questions until you enter your cells, then you are truly on your own. Do you understand?"

Both Jedi answered softly, "Yes, Master J'Noor."

"Very well." The small master hobbled toward the door. "Let us proceed."

The heavy door closed with an absurdly quiet, almost inaudible click.

Qui-Gon closed his eyes, drew a slow, deep breath. Even though the door was not locked, the bonds now holding him here were far stronger than any physical constraints. He reached out first with his non-visual senses; there was no sound but his own breathing, no smell but a faint antiseptic wisp, no air moved against his face. His skin still tingled from the brisk cold water cleansing and he was sensitive to the slightly rough cloth he now wore. Slippers, loose leggings, tunic and light robe, all in neutral gray, were all he had been allowed. Even the Force felt like a soft gray cloud; he could feel it, even draw energy from it, but he could not feel any other beings. The total effect was to impress upon him his isolation.

Finally opening his eyes, Qui-Gon took in the spare contents of his three meter by four meter cell. Stone walls, wooden door at each end, narrow cot with one gray blanket, primitive toilet and small sink.

"Well, there certainly aren't any distractions in here," Qui-Gon said with a wry glance up at the comm speaker. His voice fell flat in the solid silence. He sighed. It was going to be a long forty-eight hours.

A soft chime sounded, once, twice, thrice.

Qui-Gon slowly withdrew from his meditation.

~ Three chimes. ~ For a moment he puzzled over this new variation in his solitary life, such as it had been for the past two days, then realized the significance. ~ At last, time to move on! ~

Qui-Gon rose to his feet, put on his slippers and cloak. A close observer might have noted the slight pallor, the minute increase in pulse rate, the barest increase in breathing which belied the seemingly calm exterior.

~ Control, Qui-Gon, control, ~ he softly chided himself. ~ It won't do to fail the first real test of the Shayvanu. ~

Almost from the instant of separation, the pain had been growing. The ice in his heart cried out for the warmth of his lover to melt it, the cold ache in his soul begged for relief. Meditation helped, and he drew strength from the Force to redirect and release much of the pain, but it could not remove the root cause.

"You will exit through the rear door, turn right, then enter the fifth door on your left." As the disembodied voice issued its instructions, the door at the rear of the cell silently swung open.

Qui-Gon took one last glance around, then squared his shoulders and marched out.

One, two, three, four, five. Qui-Gon stopped before the closed door, noted the small white mark chalked on the dark wood. He took a deep breath, swallowed hard, then pushed open the door and resolutely walked through.

The bond flared into brilliant white heat the moment the door opened. Qui-Gon almost staggered from the impact before he recovered and ferociously tamped down the intensity. He could feel his fingernails biting into his palms as he clenched his hands into tight fists, his body a tightly-wound spring, blood roaring in his ears.

"Master," Obi-Wan called. The apprentice stood at the other end of the cell, braced against the wall. He was pale, breathing hard, beads of sweat trickling down his temples. He too wore a pale grey robe over his simple clothing.

"Padawan," Qui-Gon replied formally. "Control, Padawan. Remember the exercises," he continued softly.

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan closed his eyes, took several slow, measured breaths. His rigid stance noticeably relaxed.

For several minutes the two men stood still, eyes closed, concentrating on smoothing down their bond into an even, manageable warmth, letting the extra emotions slowly bleed off into the Force. Qui-Gon felt his body relaxing bit by bit as the mental turmoil eased. Finally, breath and pulse returned to normal. The sweat that had covered his brow dried in the cool air, leaving a slight chill. Opening his eyes, Qui-Gon looked across the room and smiled as he watched Obi-Wan`s eyes blink slowly as the young man drew a deep breath. Obi-Wan smiled back tentatively.

"How are you, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan bowed, following his master's lead as he answered formally, "I am well, Master."

"That is good, Padawan." Qui-Gon let his smile deepen as he fully relaxed enough to finally look around their quarters.

The two men were in a communal cell with stone walls and a heavy wooden door at each end. The cell was reasonably spacious, about four meters wide and five meters long. In one front corner there was a small wooden table and two chairs near the panel behind which their food would be deposited. In the other front corner was a small alcove with toilet, sink and a small handheld shower over a large grated tile. A shelf above the sink held two glasses, wash cloths, towels and various sundries such as soap and toothbrushes.

Qui-Gon swallowed as he noted the sleeping arrangements. He had been expecting individual cots, but this particular cell had been outfitted with a sturdy wooden double bed which could be folded up against the wall. While this would be useful for making more room in the cell for exercising or meditating and for sleeping together later, he was concerned about the additional difficulty being forced to sleep together on the same bed might cause during these early parts of the exercise.

A light footstep caught Qui-Gon's attention. He looked up to see that his apprentice had walked to the middle of the room and was also contemplating the bed with a wry expression.

"I don't suppose sleeping on the floor is a viable option, is it, Master?"

"No, I don't think our observers would look very favorably upon that, Padawan."

"Oh well, at least there are two blankets." Obi-Wan looked up at his master, grinned, and continued lightly, "I guess we'll just have to deal with it."

A surge of pride and affection tightened Qui-Gon's throat. "Have I told you that I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

The two Jedi stood frozen in the center of the cell, staring at each other. Three chimes had rung out and the faceless voice had given them permission to proceed to the next stage of the exercise, but a sudden shyness froze them in place. For the past twenty-four hours they had stayed fully clothed, including their robes. They had quickly fallen into a pattern of quiet existence, spending time meditating, doing light stretches and katas, or talking, the quiet broken only by the occasional single chime which announced that a meal had been placed behind the sliding panel. They had scrupulously avoided even a hint of physical contact, at night each taking a blanket, wrapping themselves in it over their robes, and sleeping lightly as far apart as they could get on the double bed. Several times a day they had practiced their control exercises, focusing on their vision of one love that joined them in the Force, making them stronger together and reinforcing their dedication to the Jedi.

Qui-Gon licked his lips, swallowed hard.

"Well, do you want to go first or shall I, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan stirred. "I think I would like to start if I may, Master."

Qui-Gon nodded, held his arms out from his sides.

Obi-Wan moved forward until he was standing scant inches away. Ever so slowly he reached out, carefully taking up the edges of Qui-Gon's robe, easing it down his arms, off his shoulders.

Qui-Gon stood motionless, eyes closed, barely breathing, as his apprentice, his lover, moved around him, removing every piece of clothing, ever so careful not to touch even the slightest bit of skin. Naked, a shiver swept over him.

Qui-Gon felt a stab of desire flick over the bond. Opening his eyes, he saw that Obi-Wan had retreated several steps and stood silent, his staring eyes wide with hunger, mouth slightly open.

"Padawan." Qui-Gon's quiet command was loud in the flat silence.

Obi-Wan flinched as if Qui-Gon's voice had broken a spell. He gasped and shook himself.

"Sorry, Master." Obi-Wan raised his head to look into Qui-Gon's eyes. He drew a deep breath, let it out slowly. A devilish smile lit his face. "You are quite a tempting site, Qui-Gon."

A brief flush warmed Qui-Gon's cheeks before he had a chance to remonstrate. He shook his head, then took a moment to center himself again before speaking. "Are you ready, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan immediately sobered, inclined his head. "Yes, Master." He closed his eyes, held out his arms, and waited.

Qui-Gon checked the bond as he walked forward, assuring himself that shields were firmly in place at both ends. He opted to make quick work of undressing his apprentice, although he too was careful not to touch the young man's body. Stepping back, his breath almost stopped at the glorious sight before him. A wave of heat swept over him as he forced himself to keep his hands at his sides.

"Control, Master?" Obi-Wan asked playfully as he opened his eyes. He tilted his head as a knowing smile twitched the corners of his lips.

Qui-Gon allowed himself one last sweeping look before replying. He took a very deep breath, blew it out forcefully through rounded lips. He smiled ruefully. "Yes, Padawan. Point taken," he conceded. To distract himself, he gathered the discarded clothing and began folding. "Well, we may as well as put these away since we won't be needing them for a few days." He felt Obi-Wan watching him as he moved about. Standing up after placing the clothes under the bed, he turned and found his apprentice standing only a foot away, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"So, what now, Master?" Obi-Wan asked softly.

"Nothing has changed, Padawan," Qui-Gon firmly replied. "This is still the easy part of the exercise." He firmly repressed the tingle of warmth in his groin caused by the nearness of his naked apprentice. "We shall continue as we have been doing."

"Yes, Master."

The two Jedi worked hard at maintaining their quiet, uneventful existence. Their nakedness at first tended to heighten their awareness of each other's presence, and there was an occasional awkward pause or blush as looks lingered or thoughts strayed. Qui-Gon decided to direct his apprentice to sit cross-legged on the bed. He then joined him, their knees only inches apart as they faced each other in their long-established posture for joined meditation. The tactic worked, re-establishing their familiar relationship, and their state of undress was no longer much of an issue as they continued with exercises, meditations and long conversations.

At one point Qui-Gon was convinced that at least one of their observers had a perverse sense of humor; the faceless voice twice issued orders for the two Jedi to conduct specific katas, katas which brought them into very close proximity and, without benefit of either smallclothes or loinguards, tended to cause a great deal of jiggling of external organs. The first time it happened, Obi-Wan lost concentration half-way through and started laughing. Qui-Gon dropped from the handstand he was in at the moment; he started to rebuke his apprentice but a sudden picture over the bond of several Jedi masters drooling over the video monitor caused him to sit heavily on the floor and join in the laughter. The episode helped lighten the atmosphere and enabled Qui-Gon to keep his pulse to only twice its normal speed when Obi-Wan decided to take a shower and innocently bent over to wash. There was some hesitation when the lights dimmed for sleep time; they stood awkwardly beside the bed for several moments wondering if they would be allowed to again wrap themselves in separate blankets. The voice remained silent, however, so they shrugged and had a peaceful night, each keeping carefully to his own side of the bed.

It was midmorning when three chimes sounded again. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were in the middle of a set of stretching exercises; they immediately stopped and straightened to listen to the instructions that now allowed them to touch anywhere except genitals or mouths.

There was silence for several moments. Qui-Gon felt his pulse speeding in anticipation as he looked at Obi-Wan; the young man was licking his lips, his stance tense.

"Control, Padawan," Qui-Gon said softly. He firmly damped his own emotions, slowing his breathing as he waited for an indication that his apprentice was ready to continue.

Finally Obi-Wan relaxed, nodded. "I'm ready, Master."

Qui-Gon checked his shields one more time, then moved forward. As the two joined hands, a wave of heat swept through both men, flaring over the bond. Qui-Gon suddenly heard blood roaring and his knees felt weak as felt Obi-Wan's fingers tighten painfully. He gasped and dropped his head to his chest.

"Padawan," he said hoarsely. "Wait a minute." He raised his head, saw Obi-Wan nod, his jaw clenched.

// I think we should put the bed down so we can sit, Master. I feel awfully wobbly. //

With a half snort, half laugh, Qui-Gon signaled his agreement. They released their hands, quickly put the bed down, and crawled across it so they could sit with their backs against the wall.

"Control, Padawan. I'm going to pull you close," Qui-Gon warned. He reached one long arm around his apprentice and pulled him in to his side so they were touching at shoulder and hip.

"Oh, Force, that feels so good," Obi-Wan whimpered. He reached an arm around Qui-Gon's waist and snuggled in closer, his head tucked into his master's shoulder.

A soaring wave of heat and contentment poured through Qui-Gon. Being with his lover across their bond was good, but not nearly as good as this wonderful feeling. He held Obi-Wan tightly, his senses flooded with his lover's being, his smell and his touch. He could hear both of their hearts beating hard and fast; felt Obi-Wan's breath hot against his chest.

"Yes... Obi-Wan, my Obi-Wan... so good," Qui-Gon murmured, closing his eyes, eagerly basking in the warmth of their shared love. A fire building, spreading warmth and light, so good after the days of separation and tantalizing nearness.

Almost like a temperature sensor, a small alarm began ringing in Qui-Gon's head. The heat was building too fast. Recognizing the danger, Qui-Gon grudgingly dragged his attention back to the moment.

"Padawan," he said urgently. Qui-Gon still held his lover tightly, but began bleeding off the intense emotions into the Force, decreasing the heat to a comfortable level. "Padawan, remember your control. Stay with me now!"

Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan turn into his chest, both arms now tightening around his waist, but he also felt the bond damping down as his apprentice obediently brought his feelings under control. He let his head roll back against the wall as Obi-Wan's head now settled into the hollow of his throat.

// Calm and control, my Padawan. // Qui-Gon squeezed once. // You're doing well, Obi-Wan. //

A sigh of contentment gusted against Qui-Gon's chest. // You are my anchor and all the warmth I need, my love. //

Qui-Gon smiled, relaxing as he felt both ends of the bond settle into solid control. Breathing and pulse slowed, two hearts merging into an easy, soft rhythm. He let his own sigh of contentment express his feelings.

Seconds stretched into minutes. Obi-Wan settled into a more comfortable position, a low hum deep in his chest as Qui-Gon began rubbing slow circles on his lover's back. Time seemed suspended as minutes stretched into a half hour, the bond resonating with their happiness.

The chime rang three times.

Qui-Gon blinked, muttered, "What?" He unconsciously pulled his apprentice in tight.

The comm came to life with new instructions. "You will stand apart."

Obi-Wan raised his head, twisted around to look up incredulously. "They can't be serious!"

"You will stand apart now. Touch is disallowed again."

Qui-Gon reluctantly pushed his apprentice away, then slid down to the end of the bed, sitting against the far wall with his knees up. His elbows rested against his knees as he held the sides of his face in his hands. Torn so abruptly from the comforting touch after such a short respite, he felt hollow and cold inside. He was only vaguely aware when Obi-Wan bounced off the bed and began pacing, muttering curses.

The mounting frustration seething over their bond brought Qui-Gon's head up. "Padawan."

Obi-Wan stopped, hands clenched at his side. "It's not fair," he muttered angrily.

"It is unexpected, not unfair, Padawan," Qui-Gon replied in a slow, measured tone. "Let it go."

The apprentice took several slow, deep breaths before answering. "Yes, Master." He approached the bed, bowed. "My apologies, Master."

"I understand, Padawan." Qui-Gon sighed as he looked at his naked lover, so near, yet so far from fulfillment. Disappointment was a bitter taste in his mouth, but he firmly pushed it aside. "This was a lesson in not being complacent; we must learn from it and grow stronger. Keep in mind that some time during the next day or two the privileges of touch and kissing will both be revoked for the period of review and meditation. We must be prepared for that."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan paused, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I had not thought about that aspect, Master. In a way, I suppose they are actually doing us a favor, although I doubt that was their intention." He glanced up at the comm speaker with a soft snort. "Well, we have some time before the next meal. Would you care to join me in a kata, Master? I feel the need for some exercise."

Qui-Gon smiled, pleased with his apprentice's reaction. "An excellent idea, Padawan. I would be honored to join you."

The invisible observers had given and taken away the privilege of touch three more times at varying intervals by the time latemeal arrived. Qui-Gon could not discern any pattern in the timing; in the end it simply served to enable the two men to become habituated to the changes in their reactions. First touch was now a pleasant but not overwhelming event and they took full advantage of their opportunities to hold and stroke each other without venturing much further.

Obi-Wan played with the last bits of food on his plate, finally shoving it away. "Well, no one could accuse the food of being a distraction. I've fallen in mud puddles that tasted better than this."

Qui-Gon tsk, tsked before piously intoning, "Plain and simple fare befits our station, young Padawan. Material things we do not need because -"

"A Jedi craves not these things," both finished together. They grinned at each other.

"When I was an initiate, we had an instructor who seemed to believe the path to the Dark Side was lined with gourmet food and cherry bonbons," Qui-Gon confided. "Any time she caught you with a piece of candy it was at least an hour of meditation sitting with your nose in the corner."

"And surely the Sith only live on warm planets, with soft mattresses, clean sheets and all the hot water you could possibly ask for to take long, lovely showers," Obi-Wan replied dreamily.

"And they never, ever have to give reports to a Sith Council," Qui-Gon said with a heartfelt sigh.

Obi-Wan gazed at his master wonderingly. "With such terrible temptations, how have you managed to stay on the light side of the Force, my Master?"

The tall Jedi leaned forward, gesturing to his apprentice to come closer. He looked left and right, then whispered conspiratorially, "Despite the contention of certain Council members that I am more gray than light, my faith is pure. However, I have found that the journey on the true path can be more easily sustained with a cache of white chocolate, a bottle of good wine and an extra thick mat for meditations. And some hot sex occasionally doesn't hurt either." He managed to keep his serious expression long enough to nod sagely before he gave in and joined Obi-Wan in a loud round of laughter.

Qui-Gon sat back in his chair, hands behind his head, relaxed warmth suffusing bond and body. He smiled fondly as he watched his still-chuckling apprentice clear away the remnants of their meal. So far the exercise was going better than he had hoped, and he was quite proud of his lover's behavior in this difficult situation. For the moment at least, he refused to worry about the future. His musings were interrupted by the ubiquitous triple chime.

"Permission to touch is granted. More active contact is required. Permission to kiss is granted."

Obi-Wan turned away from the sink where he had been washing his hands. His brow was furrowed, eyes narrowed in concern. "I thought kissing wouldn't be allowed until tomorrow, Master. And how far are they expecting us to go when they say active contact? I don't want to do anything that would disqualify us from the exercise."

"As for the timing, well, there is a great deal of latitude in some of the rules for the Shayvanu," Qui-Gon said slowly. He glanced up at the comm speaker, pondering for a moment. Finally he stood, shrugged his shoulders. "Since it is not under our control, it is not worth wasting the energy to worry about it." The master held out his hand and smiled. "As for more active contact, I will be more than happy to show you, Padawan."

Obi-Wan grinned as he took his lover's hand and led him to the bed. "Always the teacher, Master?"

"This is one lesson it is always a pleasure to teach, Padawan."

The two men stretched out on the bed side by side. Qui-Gon leaned up on one elbow and ran his other hand through Obi-Wan's hair, letting his fingers trail slowly around his ear and down his neck. Leaning further over he softly kissed the waiting lips. Already he could feel heat building once more over their bond.

"There are just a few things to remember in this phase," Qui-Gon murmured. Another short kiss as his hand slid down to fondle a nipple. "Genitals are off limits." Kisses feathered across Obi-Wan's eyes and nose. "No oral sex." An agile tongue licked the closest ear, briefly sucked on the lobe. "No penetration." Qui-Gon pulled himself up, leaning over his lover so they were chest to chest. "And what is the most important thing of all, my beautiful Obi-Wan?" he whispered into his lover's ear.

"Control, my Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan sighed as he ran his fingers up his lover's sides. "Control of our love." He slid his hands across Qui-Gon's shoulders to the back of his neck. "Jedi first, lovers second." Slowly he pulled Qui-Gon's head down until they were nose to nose. "But I do love you so much."

Bond and bodies exploded in passion as lips met lips, tongues exploring hot wetness. Hands explored restlessly, skin pressed to skin as two hearts beat furiously. Blood pounded as the heat mounted.

Qui-Gon let the kiss continue for many glorious minutes. Finally pulling back, he squeezed Obi-Wan tightly. "And I love you, my wonderful Obi-Wan."

After the first rush of fire was unleashed, the two men simply held each other, catching their breath, working to calm the heat to manageable levels before continuing. For the next few hours they kissed and caressed, hands and mouths roaming freely, avoiding the few prohibited areas. They took turns stroking and touching, luxuriating in the relative physical freedom to explore each other's body. Occasionally they had to stop and rein in their feelings when the fire threatened to grow too fast or too hot, erections growing hard despite their best efforts. During those pauses they would pull apart, sometimes walking about, sometimes meditating for a short period or sending each other reinforcement over the bond. Control restored, they would come together again. They kissed and petted until well after the lights dimmed for sleep time, eventually falling asleep cuddled together under a single blanket.

Qui-Gon drifted awake the next morning in the semi-dark. He felt warm and supremely content, and for several minutes he simply enjoyed the sensations without caring why. Eventually he came fully awake, finding much of his happiness centered on the slumbering body in his arms. He carefully caressed the head pillowed on his chest until the erection digging into his thigh caused him to sigh and gently push Obi-Wan over to lie on his back. Qui-Gon propped himself up on one elbow, idly playing with his padawan's braid, and gazed down on the serene features while considering how thoroughly this young man completed his soul.

Obi-Wan's eyes flickered open as the lights came up. "Good morning, Master." He leaned over to nuzzle Qui-Gon's neck. "Mmmm, feels so good to be together."

"Padawan," Qui-Gon nudged his apprentice. "There are still a few forbidden contacts."

Obi-Wan looked puzzled for a moment, then a blush flooded his cheeks as he scooted sideways until they were no longer touching. "Sorry, Master."

The chime for firstmeal sounded before Qui-Gon could reply. The two Jedi spent the next hour eating, cleaning up, then meditating, before returning to sit side by side on the bed.

"Master, we haven't had any more instructions at all since yesterday," Obi-Wan said as he held his master's hand, slowly tracing the lines in the palm.

"Yes, I know," Qui-Gon replied. "It does seem a bit odd." He leaned over to kiss his apprentice's nose. "We shall just have to continue to live in the moment, I suppose."

"Yes, Master. This is a moment I'll have no problems enjoying." Obi-Wan grinned as he pulled Qui-Gon down for a long kiss.

The rest of the day followed a similar pattern. Except for a few breaks for meals or meditation, they spent most of their time on the bed touching and kissing, even forgoing their daily katas to satisfy their need for contact. Qui-Gon occasionally thought about their situation, noticing that as the day progressed he and Obi-Wan were almost never physically apart, even eating with their chairs pushed together. The previous day they had been able to deal relatively easily with repeated requirements to stand apart, but this extended contact seemed to be reinforcing their need to be together. If nothing else, they were becoming more easily aroused and it was taking longer to subdue their erections. Qui-Gon knew he certainly felt the pull, the warmth and completion when they touched, and he saw Obi-Wan's increasing reluctance to be parted from him, even for short tasks such as eating or relieving himself. The heat over their bond seemed to settle at ever higher levels after each attempt to subdue it.

By evening they still had heard nothing, and Qui-Gon was becoming increasingly concerned. They had had difficulty dropping into a proper meditation after latemeal, finally giving up and retreating to the bed. It had only taken a brief period of kissing and petting before both men were hard again. Qui-Gon pulled back slightly from their tight embrace.

"Padawan, stop, we need to talk," Qui-Gon began.

He was interrupted by three chimes.

"You will stand apart. All physical contact is forbidden until further notice."

The overwhelming flare of denial that surged over the bond told Qui-Gon with sickening certainty that this would be the first truly difficult test of the Shayvanu. He saw that Obi-Wan's eyes had turned dark gray with desire as his lover blindly reached for him. It took all of his willpower to scramble off the bed and stand beside it.

"Padawan, no!" Qui-Gon yelled. He could feel the fire roaring over the bond, his blood burning.

Obi-Wan crawled to the edge of the bed, stopped, on his knees with his hands clenched at his sides. "Master, I... I need you."

Qui-Gon's heart screamed at him, pushing him, tentacles of Force fire pulling him toward the desperate young man who leaned ever closer, muscles taut, sweat already beading on his face. Slowly he forced himself to take one step, two steps, three steps backward. He could feel sweat breaking out on his own body as he stood, shaking.

"Master... please... I need you," Obi-Wan begged hoarsely as he began to climb off the bed.

Eyes blinking back tears of pain, Qui-Gon did the only thing he could think of to break the spell. With a whispered, "Force forgive me," he stepped forward and swung a heavy backhanded blow that knocked Obi-Wan across the bed. The apprentice hit the wall hard, collapsing into a sitting position, dazed and unfocused. A small trickle of blood flowed from the corner of his open mouth.

Qui-Gon forced himself to stand and watch. His hands were clenched into hard fists and his breathing was ragged. The bond was still flickering flame, throbbing with almost as much pain as his erection that refused to wane.

Slowly Obi-Wan's consciousness returned. His eyes blinked, gradually returning to their normal blue-gray. He swallowed hard, lifted a shaky hand to wipe tentatively at the blood on his face. Eventually his gaze focused on Qui-Gon.

"Master...," he whimpered. His breathing was harsh as his chest heaved.

"I'm sorry I had to hit you, Padawan. Are you all right?" Qui-Gon asked anxiously.

Obi-Wan swallowed hard again before replying in a low, uncertain voice. "Yes, Master." He paused to lick his lips. "It's inside that hurts, Master. Force, I want you so badly." His hands shook as he raised them to grab the sides of his head, eyes closed, rocking a little as he sat.

"Padawan," Qui-Gon said sharply. "Listen to me." Fire still raged in body and mind and he knew they had to act quickly or lose everything here and now.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes but sat silent, still rocking. He clasped his arms tightly around himself as he stared at his master.

"Padawan, we have to close down the bond as much as possible," Qui-Gon ordered sternly. "It's the only way."

Obi-Wan bit his lip, drawing in harsh breaths through his nose. He stopped rocking, reaching back to brace himself against the wall. He nodded once, very slowly. "We are Jedi," he whispered.

"Yes, Padawan," Qui-Gon answered with a relieved, if shaky, smile. "We are Jedi. We can do this." He dropped to his knees and leaned against the edge of the bed.

"For us, together in the Force. We are in control," Obi-Wan recited. "We are Jedi, there is no passion, there is serenity." He closed his eyes and leaned back.

Qui-Gon closed his eyes and bowed his head. As he joined his apprentice in reciting the Code, he felt the answering push across the bond as they began working from both ends. Drawing on the Force, they doggedly rebuilt their shields, layer by layer. Time dragged as they persevered, shutting down their awareness of each other until there was only a vague pulsing across the bond.

Qui-Gon felt the cold nausea of separation settling once more into his gut as he finally opened his eyes. He looked at his apprentice, his own anguish tearing at him as he watched tears trickling down Obi-Wan's pale face.

The apprentice opened his eyes. His fatigue was evident in slumped shoulders and slack jaw.

"Another victory gained, Padawan." Qui-Gon tried to smile encouragingly.

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan obediently replied, but there was little conviction in his voice as he slumped over to lie curled on the bed.

The next part of the test proved to be even more trying than Qui-Gon had feared. The two men were once more hyperaware of their nakedness and nearness, rendering it difficult to make even a pretence of a normal existence. They had to work at maintaining their deep shielding against the constant pull of their desire, leaving them frustrated and miserable. Time passed slowly as they waited for further instructions. After a full twenty-four hours with no word or direction, anxiety began to intrude on their attempts at composure.

Qui-Gon let his head lean back as the trickle of luke-warm water from the small hand-held shower gradually washed away the soap and sweat from his body. He took several deep breaths, still warm from the long series of katas he and his apprentice had worked through. Finally deciding he was as clean as he was going to get, he shut off the water and stepped off the grated tile to dry himself.

After running a desultory comb through his hair, Qui-Gon wandered over to the table and sat down heavily in a wooden chair. He watched his apprentice as the young man sat on the bed, his eyes adrift as his hands automatically replaited his braid.

He looks as tired as I feel, Qui-Gon thought as he caught his hands twitching and forced himself to be still. Even two hours of exercise had only partially relieved the tension that had been steadily building. It hurt to be cut off from physical contact with each other, but moving too close caused his nerves to jangle like electric shocks were being applied. Neither of them had gotten much sleep.

"A credit for your thoughts, Padawan," Qui-Gon said as his apprentice finished tying off his braid.

Obi-Wan blinked a few times, then focused as he tilted his head to the side. "It's been more than a day and a half, Master," he said. His pallor accentuated the shadows growing under his eyes. He continued in a sharper tone, "We should have heard something by now."

"Patience, Padawan."

"I'm tired of being patient. I'm tired of this place, and of being turned on and off, and -"

"Padawan." Qui-Gon's quiet command cut off the rant before it got out of hand.

"Sorry, Master." Obi-Wan sighed. "It's just so... frustrating." He closed his eyes, raised a hand to massage his temple.

"Are you all right, Padawan?"

"The headache is back, Master. It will pass." Obi-Wan raised his other hand to continue massaging both temples. "I was thinking..."

"Yes?"

"I was thinking about the last exercise we did with Master Yoda." Obi-Wan dropped his hands and leaned back against the wall. He continued softly, "I feel like that fire is flickering, just waiting for fuel to be poured on it to explode. It's waiting, like a hungry carnivore ready to spring." He drew his knees to his chest, hugged them tightly. "Force, I get hard just thinking about you, wanting you, needing you." He drew a ragged breath, looked up at Qui-Gon, then continued in a whisper, "I don't know if I can last much longer, Master. And if the fire takes me, I don't know if I can let go once I hold you again."

Qui-Gon got up and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, one leg propped on the bed as he turned sideways to look at his apprentice. "Obi-Wan, you are stronger than you think. And together, we are stronger than either of us alone," he said quietly. "What we have together is a wonderful thing."

Obi-Wan bit his lower lip, looked doubtfully at his master. "Then why does it hurt so much? Why is this so hard?"

"Our love is a wonderful thing, but it is also very powerful, enhanced as it is by the Force." Qui-Gon paused as he sought for the right words. "We have to learn to understand it. If we are to continue together as Jedi, we must do this." Qui-Gon moved further on to the bed to sit cross-legged facing his lover, ignoring the tingling in his skin as the distance between them decreased. "Obi-Wan, I love you. I believe in us, and I believe we can do this. I will fight for us with all the strength that I have, but you must believe also, my Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan looked steadily at his lover for several long moments before nodding slightly. He closed his eyes as he shifted to sit cross-legged, then reached down with his left hand to grasp the base of his penis and push hard at the pressure point to force his erection down. He drew a few deep quick breaths as his shoulders slumped. Obi-Wan blinked a few times, then his gaze settled back on his lover.

"I love you, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said quietly. "I do believe, and I will do whatever I have to do to see this through." He paused, straightened his shoulders. "Will you meditate with me, my Master?"

"It would be my honor and pleasure, my Padawan."

Only the softest sound of breathing broke the silence in the cell until the single chime announced the mid-day meal. Obi-Wan fetched the simple meal and placed it on the table. He waited until his master finished stretching and was seated before picking up his fork.

There was silence again for several minutes as the two men picked at the food. Obi-Wan finally pushed his plate away.

"I guess I'm just not very hungry, Master."

"I think I have to agree with you, Padawan." Qui-Gon smiled wryly. "Perhaps if we both stare at the speaker hard enough they'll finally talk to us."

Obi-Wan grinned weakly, then both men recoiled as three chimes rang out, almost as if in response to Qui-Gon's words.

"The exercise will proceed. All forms of physical contact and sexual interaction are permitted."

Now that the moment had finally arrived, the two Jedi found it difficult to move. Qui-Gon watched in fascination as Obi-Wan leaned forward and licked his lips. He felt heat gathering in his groin as the pressure on their bond ballooned.

"Qui-Gon..."

"Yes."

Without another word they surged up from the table and hurried to the bed. What started as a slow kiss quickly turned to frantic grappling as the pressure erupted. Hands grabbed desperately, lips roamed freely, erections stiffened almost instantly. Obi-Wan ground his hips into Qui-Gon's, rubbing their hard organs together. Urgent need drove them as the bond flared into white heat. Sweat and precum slicked the two hard cocks as each man grabbed the other's shaft and fisted hard. It was only a few moments before orgasms racked both men, semen bursting out to spatter their bellies and chests.

Qui-Gon lay on his back, panting, eyes closed. Obi-Wan's body sprawled across his master's, his head resting on Qui-Gon's left shoulder. Qui-Gon wrapped his arms around his young lover and held him tight as his breathing and pulse slowed. He felt warm and sated in both body and mind. The shielding had dropped on their bond; it was flooded with an overwhelming sense of completion.

For many minutes the two lovers were quiescent, recovering from the intense burst of emotion and physical exertion. Eventually Qui-Gon's eyes lazily opened and he looked down at the source of heat covering his body. He felt the smile stretch into a grin as he reached to stroke the sweat-spiked hair of his apprentice.

"Mmmm." Obi-Wan stirred, tried to snuggle in even closer.

"Obi-Wan, how are you?"

"Wonderful..."

Qui-Gon became uncomfortably aware of the sticky mess of sweat and semen on his chest and belly as well as the weight of his apprentice. He tried to nudge Obi-Wan into moving off but the apprentice only tightened his grip.

"Obi-Wan, I think we should get cleaned up," Qui-Gon said gently.

"Don't wanna move," Obi-Wan protested.

With a fond but exasperated sigh, Qui-Gon carefully rolled over onto his side. Obi-Wan slid down and ended up lying on his back as his master leaned over him.

"I really do think we should get cleaned up, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon left a brief kiss on the lips pouting so enticingly below him.

Obi-Wan tried to reach up and pull his lover's head down for a deeper kiss but Qui-Gon easily intercepted his arm and held it down.

"Spoilsport." Obi-Wan finally opened his eyes, trying his best puppy-dog expression as his free hand sneaked down toward his lover's groin.

"Now, now. None of that, Padawan." Qui-Gon's tone was stern but he was trying hard to refrain from laughing. He sat up, grabbing both of Obi-Wan's hands and holding them together on the young man's belly.

"Love you?" Obi-Wan murmured hopefully.

"And I love you, too," Qui-Gon said firmly. He leaned down to bestow another swift kiss on the tip of his lover's nose. "But I will love you even better when we're clean."

Obi-Wan groaned wordlessly as Qui-Gon climbed over him, but was quick to scramble out of bed and follow his lover across the cell. He intercepted Qui-Gon at the shower.

"Let me, Master," Obi-Wan said as he gently pushed Qui-Gon's hand away. He then embarked on a thorough, leisurely cleansing of his lover, a labor of love which was reciprocated by Qui-Gon. The shower was frequently interrupted by kisses and caresses which soon had both of them hard again. Taking advantage of the location, they indulged in another round of mutual masturbation before finally completing their ablutions.

Qui-Gon was still toweling off as Obi-Wan was sorting through the limited set of toiletries that had been provided. A cry of triumph caught his attention.

"Yes! I thought I saw this earlier!" Obi-Wan waved a bottle of massage oil, a smile lighting up his face. "Shall we try it out?"

Qui-Gon laughed and shook his head in wonder at his young lover's enthusiasm. The surge of heated desire over their bond and the sight of his apprentice's rapidly hardening cock sent sparks down his spine though, and he found his own organ responding. When Obi-Wan grinned wickedly and pumped his hips in lewd suggestion, Qui-Gon groaned as more blood rushed rapidly to his cock. By now they were so absorbed in each other that all thoughts of the omnipotent observers were long gone.

"You're going to be the death of me at this rate, you scamp," Qui-Gon growled.

"But what a wonderful way to go!" Obi-Wan waggled his hard shaft enticingly.

Any further conversation was cut off as Qui-Gon descended upon his laughing lover and swallowed his words in a deep kiss. With lips still locked, he swept the young man up into his arms and carried him to the bed, twirling around a few times on the way in his exuberance. He rolled them onto the bed, pinning Obi-Wan beneath him as he deepened the kiss, tongues exploring and jousting in the hot wetness. He could feel the flames growing over their bond as the heat in his body began to burn.

With the hard edge of urgency taken off by his two earlier orgasms, Qui-Gon was determined to thoroughly enjoy this round of love-making. After several very thorough kisses, he started nibbling on Obi-Wan's ear and slowly worked his way down, licking, nibbling and kissing. He paused to suck on the vein that pulsed in his lover's neck as his hands roamed down the chest, caressing the smooth skin. Qui-Gon slid down to plant wet kisses on each nipple, biting each in turn, then soothing the pain with soft suckling kisses.

Each moan and wordless cry he drew from his wriggling lover drove Qui-Gon's temperature ever higher, his pulse ever faster. He licked and kissed further down as his hands swept down the lean flanks, pausing again to dip into the navel. Large hands kneaded the tight arse as Obi-Wan arched up. Qui-Gon bit down on the point of the hip, leaving his mark. He grinned as Obi-Wan yelped at the sudden pain, then soothed it away with long wet strokes of his tongue. He kissed his way tantalizingly close to the hard cock, then ignored the pleas from his apprentice as he worked his way down one leg and back up the other.

"Qui-Gon, please," Obi-Wan panted, twisting in desperation.

The Jedi master settled between his apprentice's legs, large hands ruthlessly restraining the thrusting hips. He contemplated the hard cock that jutted from the nest of russet hair. Very slowly he leaned down and lightly tongued the glistening head of Obi-Wan's cock, pushing down hard as the apprentice bucked from the sudden contact. For several moments he teased his lover with light licks and kisses up and down the shaft, ignoring the moans and the spikes of desire pouring over the bond.

"Oh Force... please, Qui-Gon, please," Obi-Wan pleaded.

Qui-Gon finally gave in and plunged down, taking Obi-Wan's organ deep into his throat and sucking hard. He was rewarded by a roaring scream as he bobbed up and down several times, then pulled off to lave the thick shaft with long sweeping strokes from his tongue. For several minutes he alternated between sucking on the hard rod and licking the satiny length, occasionally pausing to kiss and lick the heavy balls. The feel of the hot skin under his tongue, the taste of sweat and precum and the musky odor filled his senses as the pounding of two hearts filled the bond with throbbing flames.

"Now... oh, yes... more, more," moaned Obi-Wan.

Shifting one arm across Obi-Wan's lower belly to hold him in place, Qui-Gon began sucking hard on the wet shaft as he used his other hand to squeeze and fondle the rapidly tightening balls. Within a few moments he felt the orgasm rip across the bond as hot fluid began spurting from Obi-Wan's cock. Qui-Gon greedily drank it down, licking and cleaning the last remnants of seed from the still-hard organ.

Qui-Gon was a bit surprised when the fire in their bond continued to build instead of diminish after Obi-Wan's orgasm, but the pressure of his own unfulfilled need drove him on. He flipped his lover over onto his belly, then grabbed the bottle of oil. Qui-Gon hurriedly slathered his cock before pouring a generous dollop on his lover's crack.

"Yes," Obi-Wan hissed as Qui-Gon plunged two slick fingers into his opening and twisted them. "Want you inside, now."

Qui-Gon wasted little more time on his cursory preparation. He shoved the head of his leaking cock into the small opening, oblivious to Obi-Wan's yelp of pain and jerking hips. His head roared with the rush of hot blood as he pushed hard. Halfway in he paused for a moment as the initial driving need was partly blunted by the heavy pressure around his organ, allowing his lover a chance to catch his breath and adjust to the onslaught.

"Obi-Wan," he called hoarsely, only now noticing the spike of pain in their bond that was just beginning to fade.

"It's all right," Obi-Wan panted, "just... need... a moment." He took a couple of deep breaths, then shoved himself backward, taking in more of his lover's cock with a loud groan.

Encouraged by his lover's renewed responsiveness, Qui-Gon tightened his grip on Obi-Wan's hips and plunged forward until his cock was completely buried in the close-fitting passage. The flame surged and his eyes screwed closed in bliss as skin smacked skin.

"Force, so good, so good," Qui-Gon moaned. His pulse raced and his breath rasped harshly in counterpoint to his lover's panting cries.

The brief reverie was interrupted when Obi-Wan impatiently wiggled. Qui-Gon pulled back, then began pumping his hips. Oblivious to the sweat in his eyes and the blood pounding in his ears, his world quickly narrowed to the fiery bond and his cock moving in and out of the hot arse below him. The tempo built quickly as Obi-Wan urged him on, grunting as the hard shaft plunged into him, moaning as the swollen head scraped across his sweet spot. The two lovers fed each other's frenzy across the bond as the flames continued to build, sweeping them both along.

Qui-Gon could not hold the steady pace any longer and began frantically jerking his hips, pounding into Obi-Wan with short strokes. Obi-Wan was furiously fisting his own cock, his face and shoulders pushed into the mattress. The climax came swiftly as both men erupted almost simultaneously, a white hot blast that seared them into ecstasy. As lightning exploded in his body and mind, Qui-Gon's last thought was to collapse sideways instead of straight down, pulling both men over as they slid into oblivion.

The chime for the evening meal roused the sleeping men. Qui-Gon dragged himself back reluctantly from the comfortable darkness. He was lying on his side, arms wrapped around his apprentice, his softened penis nestled firmly in the crack of the young man's arse. He also became aware that the sheets they were lying on were a sticky mess of semen, sweat and oil. With a grumble and grunt, Qui-Gon nudged his apprentice, then climbed over him to get out of bed.

A spike of fire and flash of dizziness almost caused Qui-Gon to stumble as he neared the toilet. He paused for a moment, shaking his head, but the feeling disappeared as Obi-Wan came up behind him. He thought nothing more of it as the two men cleaned up.

Qui-Gon was sitting at the table as his apprentice opened the supply panel to get their food. A muttered expletive caught his attention; he looked up to see a blush on Obi-Wan's face as he pulled a fresh set of sheets and a large bottle of oil from the opening in addition to the two covered trays. Although the sheets were welcome, the sharp reminder of the watching observers and their purpose caused both men to remain quiet with their own thoughts during the short meal. As the silence stretched, Qui-Gon became ever more aware of the heat that throbbed over their bond, heat that drew him toward his lover, heat that made his organ twitch and slowly harden.

After they finished eating, Qui-Gon stripped the bed and put on the new sheets as Obi-Wan returned the dirty sheets and empty trays to be taken away. As they performed their respective tasks they reached opposite ends of the cell; once more Qui-Gon felt the fire and dizziness sweep over him. He put a hand out against the wall to steady himself and turned to look at his apprentice. Obi-Wan lurched to the table and leaned on it, a look of pain on his face. A flash of nausea twisted the bond for a moment but was quickly erased by warm comfort as the two men moved toward each other. Obi-Wan practically flung himself into Qui-Gon's arms and landed them both on the bed.

"What was that, Master?"

"I don't know, Padawan," Qui-Gon murmured. He felt a shudder pass through the body held tightly in his arms. "I thought I felt it earlier, also, just before latemeal."

"I don't understand. It's not like when we were separated before; then I felt cold and miserable," Obi-Wan said, his face pressed into his master's shoulder. "Now I feel hot all the time, but even hotter when we moved apart."

"Something is happening to our bond, I think," Qui-Gon said thoughtfully. He rested his chin on his apprentice's head. "I still feel complete only when we're together, but I've noticed my desire for you seems to be hotter, sharper."

"Perhaps it only means our love is growing deeper?"

"Perhaps. I want to think about it more before we reach a conclusion."

Obi-Wan shifted so he was now lying fully atop his recumbent master. Qui-Gon's attention was distracted as he realized both of them had developed full erections. Obi-Wan also clearly noticed - he flexed his hips, the resultant friction between the two cocks sending a shower of sparks across the bond. He extended his arms until he could look up at his master's face, a new expression on his face, hungry and aggressive.

"Let's worry about it later, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan growled, his voice husky with need. He started pumping his hips as he shifted again to move upward to kiss his lover.

Qui-Gon groaned, the sound swallowed in Obi-Wan's demanding kiss, as a rush of electricity poured through him. All other thoughts were pushed out of his mind as Obi-Wan thrust his tongue deep into Qui-Gon's mouth.

"Obi-Wan, I'm not sure we should be going so fast until we figure out what is happening," Qui-Gon weakly protested when his lover finally pulled back enough to breathe.

"Fuck it. I need you now," Obi-Wan almost screamed as he ground his hips heavily downward. "I want everything I can get before those bastards try to separate us again and I'm going to take it."

Qui-Gon felt a flash of worry over his lover's unexpected behavior before he was overwhelmed by a flood of red hot desire as Obi-Wan deliberately opened his end of their bond wide and poured his feelings across. Qui-Gon was swept away into the heart of the flames as Obi-Wan roughly took charge.

For the next several minutes Qui-Gon could only respond helplessly as Obi-Wan's mouth and hands seemed to be everywhere, kissing, biting, groping, finding every sensitive spot on the long body. Qui-Gon moaned as the wet tongue traveled from his ears down his throat, lashed his nipples into hard nubs. He yelped as Obi-Wan bit down hard on a sensitized nipple, leaving behind a tingling pain as he moved on. Qui-Gon cried out, colors exploding behind his eyes, when Obi-Wan abruptly took his shaft and sucked it deep into his throat.

Obi-Wan played with Qui-Gon's iron-hard rod, alternating long wet swipes of his tongue with teasing nips at the head and deep sucking pulls. Qui-Gon was lost in the sensations, his blood pounding as his brain seemed to melt into a molten puddle. Obi-Wan took him almost to the edge repeatedly as Qui-Gon howled and tried to buck against the painfully tight grip on his hips.

Qui-Gon gasped as Obi-Wan released his hips and jammed a thigh between Qui-Gon's legs, slamming into his balls and cock, holding him down as he stretched up to capture Qui-Gon's mouth again in a demanding kiss. Qui-Gon was trying desperately to breath through his nose as the kiss seemed to go on forever. He felt his arms being captured as Obi-Wan finally released his mouth.

"I'm going to take you now," a harsh voice panted into Qui-Gon's ear.

Qui-Gon could only nod dazedly. The bond throbbed with fire, fire that blasted through mind and body. He throbbed in response, unable to resist, wanting Obi-Wan, needing to be taken, to be filled.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll think I'm part of you," the voice modulated into fiery silk, possessive and hot. "Would you like that?" Obi-Wan shoved with his knee, forcing his lover's legs apart.

"Yes," Qui-Gon pleaded. "Take me, fuck me, fill me."

"I'm going to fuck you so hard my cock is going to come out your throat because you're mine and your arse belongs to me," the voice purred into his ear. The thigh slammed into defenseless balls again. "Who do you belong to?"

Qui-Gon grunted from the sudden pain but quickly recovered. "You!" Qui-Gon gasped. "Only you!"

"And what do you want?"

"I want you to fuck me!" Qui-Gon was lost in a whirlpool of flaming lava, his entire body throbbing with need so great it was like acid pouring through his veins. "Please, please take me. Please fuck me!"

Qui-Gon groaned in desperation when Obi-Wan's hot weight left him. He reached greedily for contact but the pause was brief before Obi-Wan threw him over onto his belly. Obi-Wan grabbed one arm and forced it up behind Qui-Gon's back as he rained blows on the unprotected arse with his other hand.

"You're mine! Only mine! No one is ever going to take you away from me," Obi-Wan growled. "And you're going to remember it when I fuck you through the bed!"

Qui-Gon sobbed and bucked helplessly, the pain only adding to his hunger as he frantically rubbed himself against the sheets. "Yes, yes. Please, Obi-Wan, take me, I'm yours... only yours."

Finally Qui-Gon felt a splash of cool oil on his heated buttocks. He eagerly raised himself up into the air as slick fingers dug into his opening. Impatiently he jerked his hips as two, then three fingers twisted inside him. A hard knee kicked his legs apart until he was spread wide.

Qui-Gon screamed and fell forward as a rigid shaft abruptly thrust into his body.

"Get your fucking arse back up here," Obi-Wan ordered gruffly. He grabbed Qui-Gon's hips and pulled them up, his fingernails drawing blood on the sweat-slicked skin. With a tremendous thrust he slammed roughly into the tight opening, forcing himself all the way in until his balls slapped against hot flesh.

Qui-Gon screamed again, the spike of pain intense enough to momentarily dull the flames. He became dimly aware of the three chimes that rang repeatedly and the disembodied voice calling urgently to disengage.

"No," Qui-Gon whimpered. "No, not now... I can't... we can't." A small piece of sanity deep in his head whispered back, "You must."

"What are you whining about?" Obi-Wan demanded as he pulled out and plunged back in. He grabbed Qui-Gon's hair and forced his head around. "You don't fucking tell me no." He leaned forward.

Qui-Gon twisted his head around and found himself face to face with a stranger. His lover, his gentle, beautiful Obi-Wan was gone. In his place was a feral monster, demanding, taking. Obi-Wan's eyes were obsidian, swirling with dark flames. With a gut-wrenching stab of fear, Qui-Gon realized that love had been replaced by something else altogether.

Lust. Black, insatiable lust.

Obi-Wan's premonition had come true. They had built the fire so high it had sucked them into the shadowy center and it had taken him, changed him. Qui-Gon momentarily sagged in despair as the animal that was his lover roughly kissed him, forcing his mouth open. Obi-Wan's hips continued to pump, pulling his cock out and brutally ramming it deep into the still willing and needy body below him.

"Jedi you are," the voice whispered in Qui-Gon's head. Qui-Gon had a fleeting moment of comfort when he realized the voice sounded remarkably like Yoda. "Save him you must."

Qui-Gon shook his head as Obi-Wan released his hair but continued to pound into his sore arse. The triple chime was still ringing.

"Jedi you are," the voice insisted.

Fighting both his despair and what he now understood was his own lustful desire, Qui-Gon reached deep. He threw off need, dug through desire, disregarded what was happening to his body.

"Jedi you are."

Following the guiding voice, Qui-Gon reached deeper still, seeking for the strength of the Force and the love he knew was still there. Releasing all external awareness, shutting out the fiery bond, he let Obi-Wan have his way with his body as he focused on the pinpoint of white light at the center of his being.

"Jedi you are."

Carefully Qui-Gon gathered the spark of light, concentrated all of his formidable will into nurturing it from spark to small flickering flame. Pure, clean white light sprang up, a torch to light his way as he moved back to awareness, a white flame that allowed him to see the circle of red raging fire that trapped him and his apprentice. He emerged back to the present, his eyes blazing with new determination.

"Jedi I am," he whispered triumphantly.

His moment of elation was cut short as a particularly hard push forced him forward onto his face and shoulders.

"Oh yes, fucking hot arse," Obi-Wan moaned as he put all his weight behind his next thrust, driving Qui-Gon flat onto the sweat-soaked sheet. "So fucking hot."

Qui-Gon lay still for a moment, fighting off the demanding fire that still poured over his link to Obi-Wan, pounding against his newly erected shields. He worked to firm up the shields, protecting the light, letting his lust-crazed apprentice ram into him again and again. As Obi-Wan pulled out, Qui-Gon seized the moment to roll out from underneath the hot body, pushing himself up to his knees.

"Obi-Wan," he shouted as he grabbed his apprentice's shoulders. "Listen to me, Obi-Wan. We have to stop. You have to pull out of the fire. The Council will separate us if we -"

"Fuck you and them." With a snarl of rage Obi-Wan punched a fist into Qui-Gon's unprotected gut, catching him off-guard. As Qui-Gon tried to get his breath back, Obi-Wan drove him face first into the wall near the corner and forced his raging shaft once more into the abused and bleeding passage. "No one is taking you away from me. Your arse is mine and I'll fuck you as long as I want."

Finally pulling in a ragged breath, Qui-Gon tried to push off the wall but was slammed back. Belatedly he realized that Obi-Wan was drawing on the Force to enhance his strength and knew he would have to take desperate measures to break through. He let himself go limp for a moment as he gathered the Force to him, then with a sudden burst he pushed both of them hard into the adjacent wall.

Qui-Gon gasped at the spike of pain that ripped through him as he impaled himself deeply on Obi-Wan's cock when they hit the wall. He heard Obi-Wan's head hit the wall with a sickening crack and felt the apprentice's body go limp as they slid down together.

The Jedi master carefully pulled himself off the hard gory rod. For a long moment he stayed on his hands and knees in the middle of the bed, head down, panting, blood dripping down over his balls and inner thighs. Qui-Gon concentrated on pushing away the pain and strengthening his shields. He turned to look at his apprentice as a low groan caught his attention.

Obi-Wan grimaced as he raised a shaky hand to the back of his head, rubbing gingerly. For a moment he looked quizzically at his master from familiar blue-grey eyes.

Qui-Gon smiled tentatively, then pulled back in disappointment as he watched Obi-Wan's eyes darken.

"Padawan, listen to me. You have to fight the darkness. Together we can do this."

Obi-Wan licked his lips, let his glance flick briefly to his bloody fingers as he pulled his hand from behind his head. "Want you," he panted. He started to pull himself to his knees, one hand against the wall.

"Padawan, don't do this. It is lust driving you, not our love. Join with me -" Qui-Gon's desperate words were cut short when a blast of flame surged across the bond at the same time that Obi-Wan leapt forward.

The two men grappled back and forth across the bed, both of them freely using every trick they knew. Bloody and battered, they fought on. Finally, by sheer determination and a larger set of dirty tricks gleaned from a lifetime of experience, Qui-Gon got the upper hand. He had Obi-Wan secured face down in a painful head and shoulder lock, his long legs firmly wrapped around his apprentice's hips. Both were breathing harshly, chests heaving, as sweat poured down.

"Now," Qui-Gon grunted, "you will listen."

Obi-Wan bucked, trying to dislodge his captor. Qui-Gon almost lost his grip when the cell door burst open and his attention was momentarily distracted, but he hung on grimly.

Mace Windu skidded to a stop in the middle of the cell. Four other masters and two healers crowded in behind him.

"This has gone far enough," Mace commanded sternly. "The exercise is over."

"No," Qui-Gon protested. "I just need more time."

"You have already failed the exercise," Mace said firmly. "You both need to be treated by the healers."

"Mace, please," Qui-Gon pleaded. "Obi-Wan is trapped in the lust fever. I have to get him out, help him to get free. One chance, that's all I'm asking for."

The Councilor stared at Qui-Gon for a moment, his jaw clenched. "One chance." He waved the others back. "Then both of you are off to the healers."

Qui nodded gratefully.

"Just one chance," Mace warned softly as he stepped back to join his companions.

Qui-Gon nodded, then turned his full attention back to the young man who still squirmed beneath him. He tightened his grip, drawing a grunt from his apprentice.

"Padawan, listen to me," Qui-Gon whispered urgently.

"Need you," Obi-Wan whimpered. "Please, let me touch you. Let me back in."

Another fiery wave of desire washed across the bond to break harmlessly against the master's shields as Obi-Wan shuddered.

"Oh, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon groaned as he laid his head down on his apprentice's heaving back. "I shall have to take a more direct approach."

Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon took a moment to center himself, drawing on the Force, gathering the light. He had rarely had need to use this technique, so he worked carefully as he extended part of his shields, pushing on a narrow path along the bond until he was close enough to punch through Obi-Wan's shields into his inner mind. He felt a searing wash of pain as he made contact.

// Obi-Wan? //

// Master? Is that really you? //

// Yes, Padawan. Are you all right? //

// I don't think so, Master. // There was a long pause. // It's so dark here... I want you, but it feels wrong. Force, it hurts so much. //

// We let passion build too far into lust, Obi-Wan. We lost control and fell into the darkness at the heart of the fire. //

// How do we get out, Master? I can't stay here. //

// You are a Jedi, my Padawan. You must find the light within, the light of the Force, the light of our love. The light will show you the way out. //

A very long pause, a soft mental sigh.

// Yes, Master. //

Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan withdraw, pulling away as he sank deeper into his own consciousness, seeking his center. He felt the drain on his own energy as he fought to maintain contact. He could feel the flames beginning to press in on the darkness, tempting him with sweet whisperings of ecstasy, of pleasure beyond imagination. It would be so easy to give in, but he held his own bit of light close, warmed by its power. He waited, determined to stay, to help his apprentice any way he could, but uncomfortably aware of the growing impatience of their watchers as minutes seemed to streak by.

A faint call in the darkness. A tiny spark of light flickering dimly.

// Obi-Wan? //

The light flickered, brightened.

// Master, I'm here. //

// Can you break out on your own, Padawan? //

// I'm going to try. //

Before Qui-Gon could respond a streak of light flung itself across the darkness. The next instant a scream of pain echoed in the darkness as the light was rejected in a roaring flare of red flames.

// Obi-Wan? // Qui-Gon reached out, searching frantically. // Obi-Wan, where are you? //

// Master? // was the faint call.

// Obi-Wan, talk to me, don't leave me alone. //

// It hurts, Master. //

// Let the pain go, Padawan, let it flow into the Force. //

// It hurts a lot, Master. //

// You are strong, my Obi-Wan. You are a Jedi, you can do this. Do it for you, do it for us. //

The faint light flickered back into existence, growing slowly, so slowly, until it shone brightly again.

// Master? //

// Yes, my Padawan? //

// I'm afraid, Master. //

Qui-Gon's attention was jolted as he felt hands reaching for him, pulling at him. He desperately locked himself into place, hanging on to his apprentice physically as he used his last energy to reach out mentally.

// Join with me, my Obi-Wan. Together we are stronger than either of us, I promise. //

Two lights merged, flickered and flared, then stabilized into a shining white flame.

// Are you ready, my Obi-Wan? We must do this now or not at all. //

// Yes, Qui-Gon. // A faint pulse of tenderness. // Love you. //

A brief answering mental caress, then the firm command. // Stay with me, my love. Now! //

Pain.

Searing, burning pain.

Living flames reached for them to tear at heart and mind.

// Stay with me, my Obi-wan, my love. //

Pain.

Pain that melted flesh, boiled blood, burned bones to brittle ash.

// I'm here for you, my Qui-Gon, my love. //

Pain, a living lash that scourged them without mercy, reveling in the bloody carnage.

Red flames battled white light.

White light, a blaze pure and glorious as it expanded into an extinguishing cloud, denying life to flickering red fingers of pain.

White light, pure and soft, cleansing them, comforting the two Jedi in its warm embrace.

Qui-Gon opened his eyes as his limp, exhausted body was finally pulled away and placed on a stretcher. Pain still screamed along his nerves but he was beyond speech to protest. He caught a glimpse of blue-gray eyes as Obi-Wan was turned over.

// ... love you... //

Blackness claimed the Jedi master as he was carried out the door.

Qui-Gon drifted in darkness, climbing slowly back to consciousness. He was vaguely aware of soft light. He realized he was lying on a hard bed, but didn't have to open his eyes to know that he was in the healing ward. The sharp odor was both unmistakable and unforgettable.

He tried to sit up and immediately sank back into the large pillow as pain racked his body. He spent the next several minutes trying to inventory his injuries but eventually gave up when he decided he hurt everywhere. He seemed to have bruises and cuts all over, his hands spasmed when he tried to flex them, and his nether regions erupted in pain when he even thought about moving. He had a vivid imprinted memory of burning but there were no physical burns.

Ignoring his pain for a moment, Qui-Gon tried to check on his apprentice. Seeking out their training bond, he sensed only a dim awareness of his padawan. For a moment he sought frantically for Obi-Wan's presence, but when he tried to access the Force a wave of searing pain washed through him, a fire that raced along his nerves and flooded his mind. His shaking hand was halfway to the comm buzzer when memories of the past several days came rushing in.

The Shayvanu. The cell. The tests and days of struggle. The driving fires of lust and need. The last desperate fight to free themselves.

Mace Windu's image appeared in his mind.

"The exercise is over."

"You have failed the exercise."

Failed.

Qui-Gon choked back a cry of despair as he remembered the penalty for failing the Shayvanu. Immediate separation, never to contact his lover again until after his knighting. He was vaguely surprised that the training bond was not already forcibly removed, but had no energy to pursue the thought. He closed his eyes and tried to sink back into the oblivion of darkness, but the sharp edge of anguish tore at his soul, keeping him awake.

For over an hour he lay silent and unmoving, only an occasional errant tear betraying his feelings. He did not stir even when the door opened and a short figure made its way across the room, hauling itself up to sit at the end of the bed. The small green Jedi sat silent for many minutes.

"Awake I know you are, Qui-Gon Jinn."

Qui-Gon sighed and reluctantly forced his eyes open. "Master Yoda," he acknowledged.

"Hmm, always the hard way must you do things, my padawan. Difficult you are to deal with, you know."

"I don't mean to be, my master." He winced as Yoda lightly patted his leg, inadvertently pressing on a particularly deep bruise. He licked dry lips before continuing. "Master... am I allowed to know how Obi-Wan is?"

"Padawan Kenobi, a strong young man, yes, a good knight he will be some day," Yoda answered. He paused before continuing, looking sympathetically at his former apprentice. "In the healer's hall he is. Many bruises and burns he has, very bad concussion as well. Hit his head very hard, it seems, but recover he will."

Qui-Gon winced as he remembered how that concussion had happened. "I wish I had not had to hurt him," he murmured. "I failed him, Master. I did not understand what was happening until it was too late and I let the fire grow too strong."

"Saved him you did at the end. A Jedi he is because helped him find the truth you did," Yoda replied. He continued softly, "Spoken we have. Grateful he is that you showed him a Jedi he truly is and always will be. Misses you very much he does, Qui-Gon."

His throat tightened with unshed tears and Qui-Gon found himself unable to answer. He was saved from the necessity when one of the master healers entered the room and started fussing over him. For several minutes the only sounds were the usual incomprehensible muttered medical comments as the healer checked monitors and examined his patient. Qui-Gon let out an involuntary yelp and a heartfelt curse when the healer changed the bacta dressings on several particularly nasty gashes on each hip and then forced his patient to turn so he could insert a bacta suppository which looked and felt far larger than Qui-Gon thought was strictly necessary.

Qui-Gon was gingerly settling himself back down as the healer gently laid his hands on Qui-Gon's head.

"Any headaches since you woke up, Master Jinn?"

"Only when I tried to access the Force," Qui-Gon answered, "and that caused a burning pain all over."

"Yes, that will take several days to heal," the healer answered absently as he concentrated on his probe. "You over-extended yourself escaping the psychic trap you had fallen into and it will take a while for your neural pathways to recover. Your padawan has the same problem, but both of you should recover nicely, I think. This room is shielded so you won't be bothered by other Force users while you heal."

Qui-Gon flinched at the mention of his padawan but the healer seemed oblivious to his discomfort. The sound of the door opening distracted him and he saw Mace enter the room, halting just inside the door.

"What about my hands?" Qui-Gon asked the healer. "I don't remember injuring them, but I can't seem to use them very well."

"Mmm, well, it looks like everything else inside will be fine," the healer said briskly as he took his hands away. He paused, tilted his head to look oddly at Qui-Gon. "As for your hands... you had such a tight grip on your padawan we couldn't pry you away without breaking all your fingers, so we had to wait until you let go. A few days of physical therapy should relax the muscles and ligaments enough to let you regain normal use. I must say that it was quite a remarkable set of bruises you left on the young man." He glanced at the Councilor waiting by the door. "That should do it for now. I'll be back in a few hours." He pointed a cautionary finger. "Don't overdo things and we can probably release you back to your quarters in four days or so to finish your recovery, Master Jinn, or less if you cooperate for a change. Good day."

Qui-Gon stared down at his hands as Mace came up to stand beside the bed.

"Good afternoon, Qui-Gon. You are looking much better than the last time I saw you."

Still looking down, Qui-Gon swallowed hard, then forced himself to speak. "Mace, before you say anything else, I just want you to know that I do appreciate everything you did to try to help us. I'm sorry things didn't work out as Obi-Wan and I thought they would, that I made such a mess of the exercise, and for all the other mistakes I've made lately."

Mace started to speak but Qui-Gon waved him to silence. "Please, let me finish." He finally looked up. "There is one more thing you can do for us, if you would..." His voice choked for a moment before he could continue. "If you would find a good master for Obi-Wan to finish his training, I would be grateful. He has worked hard and will be a good knight some day."

Mace and Yoda exchanged glances.

"Well, if you insist, I suppose I could probably find someone who might be willing to take him on," Mace said thoughtfully. "Although an awful lot of potential masters think you've already contaminated Kenobi with your stubbornness and maverick ways. Actually, though -"

"Mace, please," Qui-Gon interrupted. "It's my fault we failed the Shayvanu, not Obi-Wan's. He deserves the chance to finish his training and earn his knighthood. I know you can find a good master for him." His breath hitched momentarily. "You have my word I'll go quietly wherever the Council sends me and not interfere."

"Hmmpph, told you I did, difficult he would be." Yoda complained grumpily, but there was a suspicious gleam in his eyes.

"Master Jinn, be quiet for a change," Mace said sternly as Qui-Gon started to respond. His expression softened as he continued. "Now then, what I was trying to say was that I could no doubt find a new master for Obi-Wan if that is what you insist on. But don't you think you should ask your padawan before you summarily push him off on someone else?"

"Mace, if that was a joke, it was beneath you," Qui- Gon said in a tight voice. "I didn't think you were that cruel. We failed the Shayvanu; you said so yourself. The penalty for failure was quite clear." He finished with a clenched jaw. "I don't have a padawan any more."

Before the conversation could continue the door opened again.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Qui-Gon Jinn," a familiar cheeky voice announced.

Qui-Gon stared wordlessly as Obi-Wan limped carefully into the room, leaning on a heavy cane as he slowly made his way to the bed. His head and arms were bandaged and heavy bruises were visible where his loose pajama shirt hung open.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon whispered. "You're supposed to be... we failed... I don't understand."

"How much of the end of the exercise do you remember, Qui-Gon?" Mace asked softly.

"After I realized what had happened to us... to Obi- Wan... I remember trying to get to him," Qui-Gon shook his head. "I was inside his head and we finally joined together to escape. The fire burned... after that it is mostly just the pain I remember." He couldn't take his eyes off his apprentice, but couldn't seem to get his arm to work to reach out to touch him, afraid that he was still asleep and this was only an illusion.

"It was a difficult experience for both of you," Mace said. "Over the course of the exercise I have to admit that were several Council members who insisted on making the Shayvanu as severe as possible. That was why you had the changes in timing; they wanted to see what you had the most problems handling. The extended evaluation interval was deliberate and was intended to make the sexual phase even more intense when you were finally given permission to proceed. I thought you were doing very well until the end when the physical lust became too much." He paused to glance at Obi-Wan, who had a blush on his pale cheeks as he recalled those events.

"I was one of the observers that last day, Qui-Gon. The construct that the two of had built to express your feelings for each other, the idea of a fire that you needed to control, became all too real during the Shayvanu because you believed in it so strongly. You had already recognized the problem and were trying to fix things when we stepped in and the chimes rang to stop the physical contact." He shrugged. "By then it was too late, of course. Obi-Wan was too deep, trapped inside the fire that represented your passions, and could not pull out. We went down to separate you before either of you got hurt any further."

"I still don't understand what is going on. Why is Obi-Wan here?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Well, strictly speaking, you did fail the terms of the Shayvanu exercise," Mace said. "But when we got to the cell, you asked for one last opportunity to bring Obi-Wan out. I saw that stubborn look on your face and I knew we'd have to hurt you badly to get you apart, so I granted your request." He paused, lost in thought for a moment. "It was quite intense. We could all feel the Force energy you were generating, and reflections of the pain you were feeling filled the room. I was trying to monitor you without getting pulled in myself. I saw how you made contact, how Obi-Wan failed his first attempt to escape."

Mace leaned closer. "You were draining every reserve you had trying to stay with him, Qui-Gon. We tried to pull you apart so you wouldn't get trapped also, but you stayed, and you managed to join together. You led the struggle to get out, and you were starting to win free. By then, though, you had given everything you had and Obi-Wan had to make the last push. The fire was so real to him that he actually burned his arms as you escaped."

"A fine padawan you have, Qui-Gon, a young man to be proud of," Yoda said, beaming happily. "Told the Council so I did."

"At very great length," Mace laughed. "Whacked a few shins, too, to get his point across. But after much deliberation," he paused to roll his eyes upward, "the Council finally agreed that the Shayvanu had been made exceptionally difficult and you made a remarkable recovery at the end. Therefore, you have been granted a new probationary period to see if you can maintain `appropriate behavior' this time around."

"So we really can stay together? No separation?" Qui-Gon said wonderingly, as Obi-Wan propped himself on the bed, a huge grin on his face.

"Well," Mace waved an admonishing finger, "as long as you two manage to keep your hands to yourselves and your leggings laced up when you're out in public," he broke into a smile that belied his hectoring tone, "then yes, I imagine you'll be allowed to stay together."

Qui-Gon reached out to take Obi-Wan's hand and pull him a little closer. He looked back at the other two masters. "Master Yoda, Mace, thank you for everything. I know we'll work hard and try not to disappoint you."

"Do or do not, my Padawan," Yoda rasped. He waved his gimmer stick menacingly. "See me you will if you do not."

"Yes, my master," Qui-Gon smiled. He continued firmly, "We shall do. Won't we, Padawan?"

Obi-Wan was fighting to keep a serious face as he solemnly intoned, "Oh yes, Master, we shall most certainly do."

Mace laughed. "I believe we have duties elsewhere, Master Yoda. Good day to you, gentlemen."

As the door closed behind the Councilors, Obi-Wan looked down at Qui-Gon and raised the large hand to kiss the palm. "I'm sorry I hurt you so badly that last day, Master. I didn't understand what was happening to us."

"It's all right. I'm sorry I had to hurt you also, but that's over now." Qui-Gon looked up into the familiar blue-grey eyes. "Stay with me?"

"Always." Obi-Wan very carefully slid down to lie full length next to his master. He gave a contented sigh, resting his head against Qui-Gon's shoulder as his master wrapped a comforting arm around him.

Mindful of their various injuries, Qui-Gon tilted his head down to plant a soft kiss on his apprentice's forehead. He leaned back, snuggling them both a little deeper into the pillow, a smile on his face.

"Have I told you how much I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi?" he whispered as they slipped into peaceful slumber.

FINIS