by analise and Kirby Crow (analise@2cowherd.net and
kirbycrow@hotmail.com)
Rated: NC17
Category: Q/O - O/f - Angst, Drama, First Time. Does not follow
canon.
Warning: Graphic violence and scenes of torture.
Author's description: By the time Master Qui-Gon is sent to
investigate Knight Kenobi's suspicious activities on the mining
moon of Ramos V, he and his former Padawan have been estranged
for 4 years. When they finally meet again, Qui-Gon discovers
Obi-Wan has a new life, a new home, and a new love...
BIGGER Warning: Heavy story ahead. If you don't like a real
plot with extra characters and things going on that are not
directly related to 'gettin' the boyz in the sack', turn back
now.
Archive: MA, Nesting Place, TOTO only. All others please ask.
Fic Recs- yes, anywhere.
From Kirby: As always, working with analise is pure joy. Her
hard-hitting prose, her talent for plot and background, and her
affinity with the characters are truly awesome. This is
probably the most work I've ever put into a piece of
fanfiction. It was both challenging and humbling to work with
someone as talented as she is, and I'm still out of breath from
trying to keep up. Thanks, chickieepie! (g)
From analise: I totally agree on the whole 'most work on a
fanfic' thing. Damn. This fic, however, would only be an empty
paper bag without Kirby, whose incomparable talent for
evocative prose breathes life into this particular
Frankenstein. As always, I thank her a million times over for
letting me take advantage of her incredible talents.
Notes of Thanks: To DBKate and Destina for their beta. We
wouldn't have had the guts to put this into the light if it
weren't for their efforts.
Posted in full at:
http://members.tripod.com/~slashgirls/toto/factionintro.html
***Chapter One***
*Just once more,* the Jedi Master told himself. I'll look at it
just once more, and then I'll go to sleep.
Stars floated in their black voids beyond the scratched window
of the battered Guild transport, and he changed positions in
his seat as the uncomfortable gravity shift rolled across him,
signaling their jump into hyperdrive. The stars became long
steaks of light and his stomach rebelled in sudden nausea as
the engines engaged and the ship made the initial leap that
would take them almost to the edge of Republic space.
*And the damn seat is hard, too.*
He willed his body to ignore the minor discomforts before
returning his attention to the flat data disks in his hand and
the small vid screen before him. He sighed.
A long arm encased in ivory muslin snaked out to depress the
play button before settling back to watch, fingers steepled
under his chin pensively. The features of a smiling young Jedi
materialized on the vid. His hair was the longest Qui-Gon had
ever seen on this particular man-- almost touching his
shoulders, with a broad sweep of feathery bangs playing about
his blue eyes as he stood on the sunlit patio and recorded his
report to the Council, a long brushstroke of slender black
uniform against the bland backdrop of Ramos V.
*... the Drey and the Venyyn, as always, struggle with the
adversities of ethnic differences and diverse priorities. Both
Clans are a practical people and I have no doubt they will
continue to endeavor to overcome their disparity of accord to
both their mutual benefit and ours.*
Qui-Gon frowned. Double-talk and political speak, from Obi-Wan?
Something indeed was brewing on the mining moon of Ramos V.
Yoda was right to send him. Obi-Wan was the most forthright
person he knew. He would never resort to this type of verbal
obfuscation unless the situation was serious.
*Knew,* he reminded himself. *You knew him once, four years
ago. You may not know this composed and slightly oily Knight
before you, who delivers his speech with all the back-alley
syllogisms of a impoverished Legate looking to buy his way into
the Senate.*
Still, the Jedi master admitted to himself that the orator was
handsome. One was almost inclined to believe those bright,
sincere eyes, the charming words coming from those curved lips,
that thousand-watt smile...
So entranced was he with watching the play of expressions
across his former student's face that he almost missed the one
lapse in the monotonous stream of cliches and cheap,
non-committal reassurances that issued from his lips. *...
assure you that the situation on Ramos V is contained.*
Contained, is it? Qui-Gon almost smiled. Obi-Wan may have
mastered subtle prevarication, but he was still a lousy liar.
However, Qui-Gon had to admit to himself that almost no one
besides himself would have noticed that infinitesimal lapse in
his Padawan's cadence, the shift in tone that - to his ears -
pinged back along the Force like a sour note on a harp. It was
a lie. Obi-Wan was lying to the Council. Yoda had known it too,
though he had not said as much.
Qui-Gon sighed again as he turned down the audio to simply
watch, his eyes devouring a sight long denied him, for -- as he
had promised -- he had never tried to find Obi-Wan. Had never
kept tabs on his assignments, thus missing both progress and
setbacks, failures and accomplishments . It had been a matter
of pride to him that he had kept his word scrupulously in this,
at least.
*I was wrong,* he admitted to himself for the hundredth time.
*I should never have let this silence between us stretch out so
long. I should have contacted him long before now, begged
forgiveness, tried to explain, anything...*
He allowed his mind to conjure up the feel of a soft bristle of
hair under his palms, a plaited braid sliding through his
fingers like a silk ribbon, the feel of those wonderfully
sculpted lips molding to his own as he crushed that slender,
powerful body to his. Their first kiss, and - he knew now -
their last.
And tomorrow they would meet again. Not as the Master and
Padawan they had been, not even as the lovers they could not
be, but as men who had grown apart with the directions of their
lives. Misinterpretations and mistakes lay between them like
fields of thorns, and in his mouth was a bitter taste that he
recognized as loss, forfeited opportunities, renounced claims.
No. Their reunion would not be the joyous one of separated
lovers.
Perhaps, he thought, not even as friends.
Thoroughly depressed, he reached for the play button again.
*Maybe just once more. Then I'll go to bed.*
The red lights danced. They skittered and twined, waltzing
across the flat, glassine surface of the water, gilding the wet
green reeds with a blushing skin as they performed for their
primordial audience.
The Dancers, the natives called them. It was an apt name. They
could hypnotize the watcher with movements that at times seemed
almost choreographed. Practiced, artistic patterns of light
blending into light, flaring and fading as they merged and
ultimately died in the mating.
*A simple chemical reaction,* the young man told himself as he
walked the narrow, creaking wooden pier. Nothing magical.
Simply gasses from the rich, decaying soil of the marsh
interacting with a floating combustible element in the air, a
joining that caused a minute reaction that took only seconds to
burn off. The lights bounced on the miniature currents of air
above the cool water before fading into nothing, their lives
not lessened for having been so brief.
What was it his master had once said? Ah yes, 'Knowing the
science of it makes it no less beautiful.'
On a night like this, he was inclined to agree.
The sole of his boot slipped slightly on a damp, algae-slimed
board, but he caught his balance easily, moving smoothly on,
oblivious to the swaying of the old walkway beneath him.
Overhead the raspy calls of the night jaks echoed and bounced
off the fat, twisted trees and roots around him. A forest of
chaotic shapes rising from the gloom of early evening, their
serpentine forms blurred by the opaque mist rising from the
water.
His internal sense told him that he was early, as he'd
intended. He needed the solitude to prepare for what was ahead.
Even though he knew that the metropolis of Guresh was more than
five klicks away, he could still feel it. Them. The discordant
harmonies of the hatred of two warring Clans.
Exhausting.
His shoulders dipped slightly in defeat as he admitted to
himself for the first time that he was very, very tired. The
centennial of the Guild contract was almost up and these last
few days were going to be trying. If only...
His senses pricked and he lifted his eyes expectantly to the
scatter of stars in the sky, looking for the one point of light
that would be moving. He spotted it within moments and
quickened his pace. He was unable to still the surge of
disquiet in his own soul. Although he had instigated this
visit, planned for it, he was still not completely sure he was
ready yet. Ready for the Council's interference. There were too
many things that could go wrong and only three days left to
work with.
The landing pad was a single square of plascrete sunk deep into
the swamp, perhaps 40 meters on each side. Algae crept up over
the edges and resilient swamp moss was steadily working at
widening cracks that had taken centuries to weaken. He stopped
at the edge of the harder surface, his boots still set on the
slightly rotted wood of the walkway that led out to the pad,
one hand lightly resting on the old synth-rope that wrapped
along a rail.
Deep breath. Calm. He knew why the Council had sent someone.
After all, he had sent his last missives with full knowledge
that an envoy would be detailed out here. And he knew that he
would have to walk a fine line now. A line that it was
imperative he keep stable. This was a Jedi he would be dealing
with and care would have to be taken. Only he understood the
situation here, he reminded himself. The Council did not know.
The Senate knew less. And the fate of this small moon and its
natives would depend on how he acquitted himself here on this
lonely square of plascrete and in the next three days.
He let one hand scrape the irritating fall of hair back from
his forehead before tucking his fingers serenely into his
sleeves of his black robe and settling himself into a peaceful
stance. He would not misstep. He would give nothing away. If he
was very lucky the Jedi envoy would learn what Obi- Wan needed
him or her to learn, play the role he needed played, and
everything would go off without a hitch. If he were unlucky --
and what did Luck have to do with it anyway? -- then sending
those messages to the Council was the clumsiest move he had
made yet in this political battlefield he was mired in. He
hoped he would not regret it.
His lips curved in a small, bitter smile. He had hoped for
something else once. Hoped for it for years, had it promised to
him, and in the blink of an instant had it all snatched away.
Before his very eyes it had faded to mist, a smokescreen of
deception and lies. That haze of deceit had seemed such a
fragile thing at first, but it had possessed the power to push
him far away and set his feet on the path that had led
ultimately to this lonely night in the swamps.
Maybe hope wasn't the best thing.
The dancers bounced gently around him as night jaks muttered
and conversed invisibly from the covering screen of plaan tree
leaves. Insects buzzed around his head but politely did not
settle on him. He could hear the distant hum of the transport's
engines now as it braked on exit from the upper atmosphere.
He had not spoken to another Jedi in several years, not since
his permanent posting to the volatile and important moon. Of
course, he had conducted many communications with the Council
itself and with his own official envoy at the Senate, but
looking at someone through a screen was a far different animal
from a face-to-face encounter. Especially when it came to Jedi.
There was the chance that this Knight would take one look at
him and know everything. Force help him, he hoped not.
*What did I tell you about hope?* he chided himself. He almost
reached up to push his forelock from his face again, but
clenched his hands on his elbows instead. Calm.
He could hear the Transport clearly now. Another moment and he
could see the worn Guild emblem on its belly as it hovered
overhead and slowly maneuvered itself down to the pad.
He could do this. He had been a full Knight for only four
years, but he knew that he was talented. It wasn't arrogance
speaking, only simple fact. Whatever else his master might have
been, he had been a superb Jedi and teacher. Nothing could
change that. And he knew that he was a tribute to the man.
*Not that I could say the same in reverse.* The acid comment
flashed through his mind before he quickly pushed the swirling
negative emotions down, dispersing them harmlessly into the
fabric of the swamp. Focus. Now was not the time to be
distracted by what his master may or may not have done to lose
his respect. Now it was time to work. Every life on Ramos V
depended on how he comported himself during this visit.
That was enough to center him, and he found himself calming
completely as the transport finally touched down with a roaring
whine of repulsors and a rush of hot air that lifted his dark
cloak up and away from his body.
He squinted into the dry gust of false wind, smelling the odor
of atmosphere- heated metal and the sharp tang of ozone.
Startled jaks burst out of the surrounding trees in a cacophony
of angry shrieks and flapped eastwards, silhouetting against
the massive yellow circle of Ramos' sister moon. The dancers
skittered away across the water in a scattered cloud, blown
like seed fluff from a dried flower.
A moment later the transport powered down with a fading whine
and an occasional gentle puff of cooling steam from the
repulsors. He simply stood with hooded eyes and waited for the
plank to lower.
A crack of light in the darkness and the hiss of hydraulics.
Calm. It was a man. A human. He could see by the silhouette. A
tall man. A...
Oh, no.
His mouth went dry, and his heart nearly faltered to a stop. It
couldn't be. Was it possible that the Force itself was against
him?
Force or not, it *was* him. Tall, broad shouldered, perhaps a
few more lines around mouth and eyes. The hair was a bit
longer, slightly more silvered, the beard a little less
scrupulously trimmed. But there was no one else in the Order
who carried that natural air of command. That serene aura of
complete and utter confidence. Of all the ones to send. Of all
the times to have this meeting forced.
It took everything he had to step forward and bow his head
dispassionately. All he could do to keep his face smooth and
his brow from furrowing in panic. He would not give this man
that pleasure. And it was more important than ever that he
maintain his facade of calm. Of everyone in the order, only
Master Yoda himself would have been a worse choice of envoy for
his plans.
The tall Jedi Master bowed back to him, no sign of disquiet or
even surprise on the man's face. Had he known who he would
confront when he stepped off that ship? Of course he had. The
tiniest hint of a smile - was it mocking?- crossed the older
man's face. The voice that he still heard echoes of in his
dreams sounded out, rich and deep in the thick air of the
swamp.
"Good to see you again, Obi-Wan."
*** Chapter Two ***
The magg transport they used to shuttle from the landing pad to
Guresh was antique enough to be quaint and loud enough to
exclude all conversation. The brakes squealed as the
egg-shaped, magnetically supported car slid along the charged
repulsor ropes at a snail's pace. They glided just over the
scummy green surface of the lowland swamp, close enough to see
the eyes of predators and the wet gleam of their ivory teeth
through the grimed windows. Iron girders whined in protest as
they were jostled and bumped on the single hard seat. Once, the
car rocked perilously on the ancient cables and threw the young
Knight's weight against his side.
Qui-Gon's skin burned through his robes at the faint and
unintentional contact, and although he scarcely heard Obi-Wan's
mumbled apology, he did note that the young man quickly inched
away from him as far as the narrow seat would allow. His heart
ached at the message implicit in that gesture.
Obi-Wan's head was turned to gaze out the window, and Qui-Gon
took the opportunity to study the curved outline of his
aristocratic profile, noting the tense lines about his mouth,
the gentle furrow between his silken eyebrows. His student was
deeply worried.
*What about?* Qui-Gon wondered. *The Ramians? Surely not. The
situation here can't be that bad.*
There was tension coming from the city, true. Even open
hostility, close to hatred. But there were no brands of recent
violence along the Force. No murder or rioting that would have
left a stamp on the city's Force-energy like a watermark on
paper. Perhaps Obi-Wan was disconcerted about something else.
*Could I alone have upset him this much?* The Jedi Master
lifted his bearded chin a little as hope stirred. *Perhaps it's
not too late. I never meant for matters to go this far. I
wanted him to be independent, yes, but not isolated. Not cut
off from myself and the Order. I've let the bond between us dry
up and die from lack, like an orchid perishing for want of
water. Blasted pride. I should not have let this happen.*
He had already opened his mouth to tell Obi-Wan just that when
the magg car screeched and the illumination orbs set in the
ceiling winked out, plunging them into darkness.
The car tilted precariously as it negotiated a steep curve, and
again Obi-Wan was thrown against him. He reached out to brace
his former student and catch him from falling. One hand
encountered a shoulder clad in the impersonal dignity of rough
Jedi cloth, but the other-
Qui-Gon's mouth went dry. The other encountered the lines of a
strong throat and the brush of gossamer-soft hair against his
skin. It was dark, but memory provided what light denied him.
He remembered the sight of that throat. The cream-white skin
looking soft enough to bite, the beads of sweat that would
dampen the short ends of the honeyed red hair to amber spikes
before rolling down to pool in the deep hollows lining his
collarbones.
The car had stabilized but the noise and darkness continued. No
need to hold on to the young man anymore. Yet his hands
lingered. Qui-Gon noted that Obi-Wan had not attempted to move
away a second time. He was pliable in the Jedi Master's grasp,
neither hindering or helping him as he was pulled closer
against his broad chest. Qui-Gon wondered if the hammering of
his heart was loud enough to hear over the magg car's groaning
engines.
*Madness*, he told himself. *What are you doing?*
He might as well have been talking to the bulkhead. His large
hands slid slowly up the compliant body, reaching to tenderly
cup the face and pull it closer, warm, feathery breath ticking
his lips. He hesitated there, sight shrouded in darkness, going
by touch alone, inhaling Obi-Wan's moist breath.
His lips had parted, tongue ready to pierce and delve, when the
spell was cruelly broken. The lights sizzled and the car was
suddenly flooded with greenish fluorescence. Qui-Gon's eyes
flew open.
Obi-Wan was staring at him coldly, his mouth firmly clamped
shut, anger trembling the corner of his lower lip. So Qui-Gon's
lips would have found that mouth if he had continued, closed
and passionless as a clamshell. His desire would have broken
upon that hard countenance like tidewaters on a fortress shore.
Qui-Gon's breath froze under the wooden contempt of his former
student's gaze. He dropped his hands and recoiled as if
Obi-Wan's flesh scalded him.
"Obi-Wan, I --"
He never got the chance to finish. The magg car came to a
jolting halt and Obi-Wan rose, hands folding smoothly into his
sleeves, Jedi calm settling over him like armor. A weather-worn
and rusted depot loomed beyond the scratched plex of the
window.
"We must change cars here, Master Jinn." The formality of the
address was not lost on Qui-Gon, and again his heart sank.
"Hopefully there will be no more power outs. This line is run
by the Drey and sometimes the Venyyn cut the lines in random
acts of vandalism against them. The next magnet car will take
us into the city proper. Please follow me."
Qui-Gon wanted to protest, to insist that they settle this here
and now, but Obi-Wan's face was averted and his answer was
clear in every line of his stiff form. It was a refusal.
Qui-Gon stood heavily and drew about him the ragged ends of his
own dignity, thankful that the car was small and he was much
larger and Obi-Wan obliged to exit the car first and allow him
the room. It gave him the seconds he needed to collect himself.
When his boots touched the rust- pitted platform he was as
forbidding as any 13-year old Padawan could dread.
He saw Obi-Wan react when he joined him on the depot steps, and
marked the flicker of unease in his heavy-lidded eyes that had
nothing to do with what had just transpired. Qui-Gon reminded
himself why he was here, and that -- while Obi-Wan would never
fear him -- he might have every reason to fear a Jedi Master
cloaked in the authority of the Senate.
"By Rama, look at that!"
"What?"
"Look, there, past the slot vendor, it's Kenobi."
"Ah. I see him. Who...or *what* is that with him?"
"That's another one. *Another* Jedi. The clothes are a
different color, but the same style."
"What...what do you think that means?"
"Well, it can't be a coincidence. The contract's coming to an
end in just a span of days. That Drey flunky has been trying to
hide it, but he's been meeting more regularly with the
Guild...this new Jedi *has* to have something to do with that."
"What?"
"I don't know. But Ludarr will want to find out why this new
one is here. Kenobi is planning something. We have to find out
what it is. There's no way we can let the damned Drey have one
up over us."
*spit*
"I'll follow them. You go tell Ludarr."
"Be careful. We know Kenobi...we don't know this new one."
"We will."
By night the energetic city was alive and bustling with
activity. Gaslights shone on open-air markets that were
attended by vocal hawkers. The wide streets -- jammed with foot
traffic -- were little more than broad wooden walkways swaying
over the marshy ground below. Flat, rectangular alloy slots
stamped with the seal of the Trade Guild -- the local coinage
-- traded hands rapidly. The slots were snatched greedily from
palms and thrust into sleeves and pockets under the yellow
light. Tight singlets and bare feet seemed to be the uniform of
the day, although they passed a few crystal miners, both Eri
and offworlders, in their blue Guild jumpsuits and the sickle
tattoo on their chins. Everywhere there was haggling, arguing,
and rapid commerce. It was, in many ways, a future metropolis
still in infancy, regardless of the fact that it had been
brutally mined for over two centuries.
The dichotomy of Guresh slipped by almost unnoticed for the
young Knight. It was as common as the heavy reek of the
decaying swamp and the ever-present throb of the massive
Crystal Cutter that squatted in the center of the city. His
home now for almost four years.
Obi-Wan refused to look at the man at his side as they
navigated the narrow streets, he refused to do so even
surreptitiously. Childish, perhaps, but he was holding a
precarious enough grip on his emotions as it was. He couldn't
afford to let anything slip. Certainly not with so much more
than just his own personal feelings on the line.
Bastard, he thought grimly. What Sith-spawned kind of test had
that little scene in the magg car been? Tiny shooting tendrils
of pain were creeping up his arms and he realized that he was
gripping his forearms tight enough to bruise within his
sleeves. He forced himself to relax, to let his mind clear of
the confusion and the anger that were sudden and obtrusive
invaders in his mind. Was Qui-Gon trying to throw him off? What
could such a maneuver mean?
He could still feel the heat of the man's fingers on his
throat, hear the soft, shallow intake of breath that might have
meant desire, smell that familiar musk of sandalwood and
Qui-Gon that would always mark his former master. Even in the
swaying, formless dark of the car interior.
Why? Certainly, it was not what it seemed. Why would the man
have cast him aside so long ago, cut all ties to him, if he was
only going to make a pass at him at the first given
opportunity? A teenager groping a potential first lay in the
dark. There was no understanding it, and so, he reasoned, there
was an ulterior motive.
Qui-Gon was trying to unsettle him. The Council surely
suspected that he had been hiding things, he had intimated as
much in his latest messages. He should have foreseen that they
would send the one man they knew would be able to ferret out
their truths for them. He felt his heart harden just a little
more. Indeed. There could be no other explanation. He would
have never thought it of the man, would never have dreamed him
capable of that level of manipulation... but then...
But then he would have never believed his master able to lie to
him as he had. Clearly he had seen the man through the blue
glass of hero worship as only an inexperienced Padawan could.
It had taken a brutal lesson to teach him the reality of
things, but he had learned it. And learned it well. He would
not make the mistake of trust again.
He would have to push down all the feelings that had risen so
shockingly and suddenly to surface again. Feelings that he had
believed he had managed to vanquish. Apparently they had only
sifted to the bottom, not disappeared as he'd hoped. They made
him weak at a time when he could ill afford it.
Ramos needed him now in a way that Qui-Gon never had. His
former master's presence would hopefully change nothing in the
long run. He wouldn't allow it to. He would be polite and
unaffected if it killed him. He must not forget that Qui-Gon
Jinn could be the Jedi he needed as well as anyone else.
He turned a sharp corner up Ulten 6 row, not bothering to make
sure Qui-Gon followed. Distantly, he wondered what the Jedi
master's impressions of Guresh were. He knew that his own
initial look at the mining town had not shown him a single one
of the many levels at work here. Would his master's greater
experience tell another tale? How much had the man studied up
on Ramos before he had come?
Did he know of the Venyyn and the Drey? Did he know of those
two Clans' long enmity? Obi- Wan was certain that if his master
knew anything, it was of the Guild's control of crystal
production...of Eri's investment in their colony moon. These
were the things the Senate of the Republic would care
about...and by extension, the Jedi Council.
Lately it had been worse than ever. Small incidents, minor
disturbances, offensive vandalism like the cutting of the power
to the magg cars...these things had been levering the
ever-present tensions even higher. The coming end of the Guild
contract only made things even more volatile. He could almost
feel the taut nerves of the city like a tangible thing, both
Clans' hatred of each other. Their suspicions. Back and forth.
A shop window would be broken in a Drey shop and the Venyyn
would be blamed. A Venyyn worker was beaten on the streets and
the Drey were blamed. It never seemed to end. A snake eating
its tail. They should be concentrating on what they were going
to do when the Guild left in three days. When they were
deprived of their economy for good.
But it was hard not to feel for their frustration. They could
not channel their anger at the Guild who handed them their
meager pay or at the Eri who eagerly took it right back out of
their hands. So they hated each other instead. It was easy,
Venyyn had been fighting Drey since they had colonized the moon
over 500 years before.
Old habits die hard.
He watched his master out of the corner of his eye as Qui-Gon
skimmed his hand over a fence in passing and rubbed the residue
between his fingertips with a frown.
"Does all this pollution stem from the erium mining, Pad--
Obi-Wan?" he asked.
Obi-Wan decided, after a moment, to ignore the slip. It was a
place he didn't feel comfortable going. There was a part of him
that wished he were still a Padawan to be called such, still
desperately in love with his handsome master, still oblivious
to the betrayal that had waited for him. But he would say
nothing on the subject.
"Yes, Master Jinn," he said coolly, absurdly proud of the
impassive tone of his voice. "The mining here has been hard and
fast. The Guild wishes only to extract as much erium crystal as
it can from the moon as quickly as it can. The Cutter," he
gestured vaguely back towards the omnipresent throbbing sound
as he moved onwards up the street, "uses a very primitive
method of power generation. It burns a local petroleum found in
great quantities in the swamp. It is very effective in running
the crystal blades, but it has the unfortunate side effect of
pumping particulate waste into the air." He snorted softly.
"They use the same methods to run the drills in the mines."
The fact that his master did not inquire further confirmed his
guess that Qui-Gon already knew the background politics of
Ramos. He was only here to determine what Obi-Wan was up to.
Hopefully, if all went well, he would learn only the things
that he needed to. The things that Obi- Wan needed him to.
"We are almost there. I hope you don't mind that I arranged for
you to stay with the Drey Clan leader. If you feel it is too
compromising, I have also made sure that you can house with the
Guild while you are here, if you wish." Obi-Wan glanced up at
the tall man, finding nothing but a calm acceptance there. "If
you are worried about the Venyyn, don't be. They couldn't care
less about where you stay as long as it's not with them. I can
tell you that you will be more comfortable with Rivyyn than
with the Guild." He stopped himself before he could add that he
didn't care one way or the other if his master bunked in the
swamp itself.
*Bitterness should not be a Jedi trait,* he reminded himself
tartly.
Qui-Gon bowed his head slightly, meeting his eyes with careful
neutrality. Was this the same man who had tried to kiss him in
the darkness of that magg car?
"I trust your opinion, Obi-Wan. You have been here far longer
than I have."
He wasn't sure why those words sent a slight flush of heat down
his spine. Perhaps it was because he still treasured every
glimmer of a compliment from this man, though he hated to think
that was the case. *Well, he was your master,* he reminded
himself, *it's only natural to want his praise.*
"Fine."
Praise. Of course, he thought sourly, what exactly did that
mean to him coming from Qui-Gon? They continued on in silence
for several more minutes, passing deeper into the more sprawled
residentials of Guresh.
"Kenobi." They were not quite into the Drey Quarter when he
heard the sound of his name. He knew the voice, and he stifled
a tiny smile of triumph. Perfect. Thank the Force that Ludarr
was so predictable. A facade of oily calm slid down over
Obi-Wan before he turned to face the tall man who had hailed
him.
Ludarr Venyyn was perhaps only a few years younger than
Qui-Gon. A big man, hardened from a lifetime of labor and
tension on his moon, he was the leader of the Venyyn Clan. Much
like every other Ramian, he was both stubborn and narrow-
minded. His hard-headed view of the world was inbred into him
as a child forced to work in the crystal mines, like most
Ramians, just to make enough money to pay the inflated Erian
prices on food and shelter. Neither the Venyyn or the Drey were
a cheerful people, and neither found things such as hope and
humor to be worth any more than spit on a sidewalk.
Now he glared at the two Jedi flanked by four of his Venyyn,
none of whom looked particularly happy to see either of them.
"Ludarr Venyyn." He bowed slightly, letting a slightly greasy
half-smile slide across his lips, making him look like he was
in on a joke that no one else was smart enough to get. He had
practiced the smile in the mirror. He knew it unnerved Ludarr.
Made the mistrustful man even more suspicious of him. "This is
Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master and Envoy of the Council." he said
smoothly.
He watched as Ludarr tried not to let himself show his disquiet
or his curiosity, but the man was not a politician. He was
leader of his Clan, true, but only through merit and family
name. He was incapable of being disingenuous.
"What are you doing here, Jedi?" He growled gruffly at Qui-Gon,
folding his arms across his chest and lowering his brows. "Come
to interfere with our world, too? Isn't one of you enough?"
Ludarr was a plain spoken man, not given to sly threats or
innuendo, but it was clear that he was trying very hard to find
out why this strange Jedi was on Ramos without asking directly.
Obi-Wan definitely wanted to keep him guessing. He interrupted
before Qui-Gon could speak for himself.
"He is here on Council business, and none of yours, Ludarr. Not
to worry. As soon as the contract is up, we'll all be out of
your hair."
The Ramian only glared at him them, narrowing his eyes.
"Good. The sooner you leave, the better for all of us. Cursed
outworlders. Why can't you just mind your own and leave us
ours?" It wasn't a question Obi-Wan was meant to answer, nor
did he try.
"A fine idea, Ludarr, since neither I nor my order has any
interest in 'yours'." He bowed again as if in farewell. " And
perhaps we can find the time to share a meal while Master Jinn
is here?" The young knight chuckled inside at the very thought
of the xenophobic Venyyn inviting the Jedi to dinner. Ludarr
didn't seem to find it funny at all. Instead, he turned with
his small retinue and stalked off into the night, his
frustrated anger trailing him in a dark cloud.
Obi-Wan could almost feel sorry for the man. But not quite. The
young Knight had been rather closely involved with the Drey for
the years he had been on Ramos, and it was hard not to have a
bias against the Venyyn. Especially with all that they had been
doing lately to up tensions between the Clans. If it got much
worse, Rivyyn was going to finally lose her temper and bite
back. His plans would be ruined if that happened. Force, just
three more days.
He could feel Qui-Gon's questions about Ludarr practically
bubbling in the Jedi Master, but he pushed ahead, not ready to
explain the point of the little scene they had just had. Not
yet.
Obi Wan felt slightly buoyed by the encounter. He had *hoped*
that Ludarr was paying close attention to his activities, and
the fact that he had been confronted so soon after Qui-Gon's
arrival was very encouraging.
"That was the leader of the Venyyn. Ludarr." Obi-Wan explained,
trying to keep the silence between them filled, trying to keep
his master from asking his questions about Obi-Wan's attitude
towards the Venyyn leader. "Later I will take you to meet the
both the Erian representative, Jaarahn Bos; and Remoran Krunn,
the Guild Representative." He could not keep the blatant
distaste out of his voice as he spoke the two names. Qui-Gon
did not miss the inflections.
"You speak as if you hate these men as much as the Ramians
must."
Qui-Gon's voice was mild, but Obi-Wan was immediately alert to
the barbs in the statement. He almost _almost_ smiled, but
staved it off. He *had* given the Council the impression that
he was, perhaps, losing his objectivity. But he knew that he
couldn't really lie to his former master. He had always been
terrible at it, and he couldn't honestly remember a time that
he had managed to lie to Qui-Gon and get away with it.
"I do dislike them." he said simply. It was the truth. "Mostly
I feel contempt for their greed, for what they are doing to the
people here. The Guild has a chokehold over Ramos with this
contract that is, essentially, entirely to their benefit. The
Ramians make nearly nothing from the environmental rape of
their planet, and what is left, the Erians take in rent and for
supplies that the Ramians cannot manufacture themselves." He
shook his head again. "It's a grim situation. Ramos can do
nothing really, they have no money with which to escape the
Guild's grip. Eri takes anything they might try to save. The
Guild mines, and the Ramians work."
"This is nothing new, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon's voice was still mild,
almost lecturing. "This has happened on a hundred thousand
worlds. The strong dominate the weak. It is something that will
never change."
To that, Obi-Wan had nothing to say. He wanted to tell his
master then, he wanted to tell him that Ramos would not fit
that pattern for much longer. And he almost did. But there was
still a wall of mistrust between them, and he was not entirely
certain that he could ever make himself trust Qui- Gon again.
The conversation seemed to be over then as he gestured at the
door looming ahead, set back into a modest but large two
storied home. He waved up to Irina on the roof as they pushed
through the entranceway and she lifted her slender laser rifle
in return before settling back to her guard post.
The lights were dim, telling him that Rivyyn wasn't yet home.
He looked up and around the large family greeting-room, a place
where he had spent most of his time on Ramos. The walls were
painted with a gold-green that seemed to shimmer in the low
light, and hung with a number of clan portraits including one
of his favorites. One of Rivyyn with her father, Senay.
The flat holo had been taken only a few month before Senay's
death, but one would never know that a wasting sickness was in
the process of destroying his body. His black eyes were bright
and discerning under a shock of brushy white hair, his face
worn but full of energy and spirit. Obi-Wan had teased the old
man frequently for his striking resemblance to Chancellor
Valorum. Once, during a particularly difficult series of
negotiations, Obi-Wan had threatened to dress Senay in
Senatorial robes and use him as a shill to force the Mining
GuildÕs hand.
Rivyyn was clasped close to her fatherÕs side in the
holo, and she was looking up at him, her profile tilted, her
hair still long and tumbling in russet waves down over her
shoulders. She appeared to be caught in the moment of saying
something to him and Obi-Wan had always been fascinated by the
frozen snapshot of time the holo presented. A stolen moment of
life and joy, captured forever to hang on the wall in a museum
of similar vignettes.
He glanced up at Qui-Gon again to see that the man was perusing
the main room carefully, letting his eyes skim the sedate,
tasteful furniture, the mix of old world and new, the
collection of paper books and artifacts on the shelves along
the back wall.
Standing in the warm light of the room, seeing his master in
the context of what had been his home for over three years,
noting that the big man was just as magnetic...just as alluring
as he had always been, he abruptly whirled and stalked from the
room with no warning.
"Drop your things anywhere, Master Jinn," he threw over his
shoulder tightly through gritted teeth, "I'll make you some
tea."
In the spacious kitchen, Obi-Wan absently reached for the
ceramic teapot, his mind still troubled by the sight of
Qui-Gon's imposing silhouette filling his favorite room,
exactly like he had secretly fantasized so many times...
He reached for the iron kettle to heat water in, but his hands
fumbled and the slim handle slipped through his fingers and
clattered noisily on the stone tiles. "It's fine!" he called
out to Master Jinn before he came to investigate. He filled the
kettle with water and set it on the heating unit, then leaned
his forehead against the cool, polished wood of a center beam.
He had to put an end to these thoughts, this ridiculous longing
that had no hope now of being fulfilled and never had. His life
had taken another path, and that path was going to be home any
minute, and she was no fool.
*Rivyyn is not going to like this,* he foretold ominously. *Not
at all.*
*** Chapter Three ***
Fingers trailed lightly over the mantle as he walked along it.
Holos and trinkets, the gentle clutter of a lifetime of random
collecting. No dust, but the memories were thick. He could feel
an old grief here, long healed. A death? Perhaps the old man in
the holos? A wood fire crackled and snapped in the grate below,
sending the occasional spark sailing into the room to char to
black in the overabundance of oxygen. Obi-Wan was here too,
tied into the fibers of the room almost as surely as the
baubles on the shelves and the photos on the walls. His former
apprentice's bright threads intertwined with the Force of the
house, lovely and vibrant in that way that Obi-Wan had of
making everything he touched more alive. More beautiful.
He shrugged out of his cloak in the warmth of the fire and
refused to allow his mind to veer back to what had happened in
that darkened magnetic car. Only years of self-discipline let
him succeed. It was very hard to make himself disregard the
look of contempt that had been pressed across such usually
amiable features.
A moment later the tight weave of his control frayed and
unraveled completely. He picked up the last holo on the mantle.
His apprentice was pictured there, autumn-gold hair only
slightly shorter than it was now, gilded with sunlight, his
thistle-gray eyes glittering with that unique mix of impudence
and intelligence. The soft curve of his mouth was half-parted,
forming around a word that Qui-Gon could never guess at, and
his arms were wrapped tightly around a beautiful young woman
who gazed out of the picture frame with a blazing challenge in
her black eyes and the promise of a fight to any who might take
her on. He held the holo loosely in nerveless fingers for a
long moment, simply staring at it. This was why Obi-Wan's
spirit was so strong here.
He wasn't sure he was breathing properly as he forced his
fingers to uncurl from the frame. He had known, of course, that
this would happen. He would have been cruel and selfish to wish
that it wouldn't. But Force help him, he had hoped...
"So." The word came from the arched entryway into the
greeting-room and Qui-Gon spun sharply about, his eyes finding
the very woman in the photo standing, arms akimbo, in the
hallway.
"You're the watchdog Jedi? The one come to spy on Obi?" She
asked, her eyes glittering dangerously, one dark red eyebrow
lifted. She looked very much like her photo, only her hair was
shorter. It was clipped loosely to her skull in soft curls and
waves that hung over her forehead. There was a dark reddish
tattoo under her right eye in the shape of a crescent moon with
both points facing upwards. She was of a height with his former
apprentice, her body slender and tight with muscle. She was
currently wearing a fitted brown jumpsuit that was smeared
thickly with oily residue, her skin painted with it, her hands
gritty and stained.
She strode into the room before he could speak and thrust her
hand out to him, refusing to break eye contact. She wasn't even
slightly intimidated by either his height or his Jedi stature
as so many often were and he wondered briefly if that was a
Ramian trait, or simply her own. He took her hand without
hesitation, knowing that she was using the fact that her hands
were filthy as an attempt to immediately set him off guard. He
had to smile faintly at her aggressive stance, and she narrowed
her eyes slightly, peering up into his face with a lack of
respect for his personal space that was slightly unnerving.
"My name is Rivyyn Drey. Leader of the Drey. You are...? Obi
said he didn't know who they would send."
By the tone of her voice, Qui-Gon got the impression that she
had already guessed who he was. Had Obi-Wan talked about him?
"I am Master Qui-Gon Jinn." He said softly, bowing over her
hand before taking her attempt to offset him and negating it by
lifting the grimy set of fingers and pressing an old-fashioned
kiss to them.
She seemed surprised for a moment before her lips quirked and
then bloomed into a smile so sharp it cut.
"Well, well." She said, pulling her hand back and refolding her
arms. "How interesting that your council chose to send *you*."
Qui-Gon said nothing to that, having nothing to say and knowing
full well what she meant.
"It is normal for the Council to send someone to check on our
field operatives every now and then. Especially if they have
been stationed in one place for such a length of time as
Obi-Wan has been." His voice was smooth as he settled on the
low couch, never letting himself break eye contact with the
girl, oddly unwilling to allow her any small victory
whatsoever.
She grinned at him again, showing her teeth like a predator
before she strode over to the fire, finally looking away from
him as her hands went to her filthy tunics and began to strip
them away.
Asking no permission, she quickly shed her oil-crusted jumpsuit
and tossed it into a bin against the far wall. Qui-Gon took
note of the fact that she reached out and straightened the holo
of her and Obi-Wan that he had disturbed. Clad only in a tight,
white sleeveless undershirt and a pair of fawn-colored
breeches, she turned towards him again, leaning her slender,
athletic body against the mantle.
"How was your flight?" She asked. The question was a stall. For
some reason she was unnerved by his presence. Her lovely face
was calm, almost expressionless, but Qui-Gon could have sworn
that he detected the faintest trace of a quiver at the corner
of her mouth. Fear? Anger? He didn't know her well enough to
guess.
"It was lengthy. You are a long way from Coruscant out here."
he said mildly, suddenly determined to squash the green monster
that was coiling in his belly. It was difficult. Very difficult
with her standing limned in the firelight, so beautiful, so
passionate. So young. Very much like his Obi-Wan. Something
inside him trembled.
Dark eyes lined with thick black lashes emphasized by strong
graceful brows, flicked over him again before skittering past
him and suddenly lighting up in a way they had not since she
had entered. The openness of her face was gone in another
moment, but Qui-Gon already knew who she looked at. He realized
in an instant that Rivyyn, for all her strong-man posturing,
was as lost now in his apprentice as he had always been.
"There you are," Obi-Wan said, welcome in his voice as he
walked into the room and set a silvered tray onto the narrow
tea table. "I see you've already met." Obi-Wan's voice was
oddly stiff as he moved to stand next to Rivyyn. The Jedi
Master was almost pained to see the softening of his former
student's features when he looked at the young woman. Obi-Wan
had looked at him that way, once.
Qui-Gon reached over and busied himself with pouring tea as
Obi-Wan exchanged a long kiss with Rivyyn.
"I understand," Qui-Gon said, wanting...needing to break the
silence, "that Ramos V's contract with the Crystal Guild is
nearly up. What do the Clans plan to do after that? The erium
crystal deposits are almost dry, the Guild will not renew the
contract."
Rivyyn snorted and broke away from Obi-Wan, sinking to the
floor opposite the seated Jedi with a grace that spoke of youth
and energy to spare. He passed her a cup of tea that she
accepted as if it were expected that he serve her. It was
almost enough to make him smile. She had confidence and
arrogance to spare, she was a good match for his headstrong
apprentice, and he forced himself to be gracious. He just hoped
that Obi-Wan wasn't compromising his neutral position here by
allying himself with one side or the other. Perhaps this
relationship was part of the reason the Council was worried
about his former padawan.
"I don't know what we're going to do, Jedi. None of us do. We
have nothing on this moon but mud and rock. We used to have
crystal, but we won't have that for much longer. As soon as
it's gone, we'll have our moon back from the Guild, but we
won't have anything else but Eri continuing to bleed us dry.
And we can't stop them, they own us. We have no rights of our
own." She took a sip, eyeing Obi-Wan where he stood at the
fireplace, his hands folded into his sleeves. At the start of
the conversation his face had gone suspiciously blank. It was
an expression that Qui-Gon had learned to be wary of over their
years together. An expression that usually meant trouble.
He was given no opportunity to study the youth further as they
were interrupted by the chime of the door. It startled all of
them, but it was Obi-Wan who sprang into movement, gesturing
all of them back down.
"I'll get it," he said, already sweeping out of the room,
allowing Qui-Gon to watch his slender form surreptitiously. He
caught an intriguing glimpse of a blue tunic outside when
Obi-Wan opened the door, but was not able to see a face before
his former student simply slipped outside and shut the door
behind him. He frowned slightly, his instincts tingling, but he
was forced to interrupt his curiosity a moment later when
Rivyyn cleared her throat. He looked back at her to find her
staring at him with hard eyes.
"Do you mind if I'm open with you for a moment, Master Jinn?"
She asked, setting her tea cup down with a clink of ceramic on
wood. His mouth twisted in something that was a cross between
pain and amusement.
"I doubt that you have any other way. Speak if you will."
She leaned forward, meeting his eyes solidly as she rested her
elbows on the black wood of the low table.
"I know you hurt him. Obi has never told me details, but they
aren't really important, now are they? I expect the Council
chose you because they know you can get to him, hmm? Well, I
just want to warn you right now that I won't let you twist him
around your little finger again."
Qui-Gon felt himself getting angry, not necessarily at her
words, but at the circumstances which had caused them. She was
protecting Obi-Wan from *him*!
"Trust me, Madame, I did not train him to be so easily
manipulated," he said stiffly, his blue eyes cold. She did not
back down, instead she only leaned closer, her voice dropping
even lower.
"I don't care about your empty words, Jedi. If you hurt him
again.. well.." she leaned back and picked her tea up, "..I
protect those I love."
A threat. She was threatening him. He would have laughed at the
thought of this slender slip of a girl promising him bodily
harm if it wasn't for the tearing pain in his chest. She was
Obi-Wan's avatar now. She was his as surely as Qui-Gon ever had
been.
It hit him hard then. The reality of it. Force. What had he
done? What had he lost?
Obi-Wan walked into the room, smelling of cold swamp air and
the tang of the cutter residue. The young man stiffened
slightly as he came up behind Rivyyn when he felt the tension
in the room, but Qui-Gon barely noticed. He managed to get up
and give his goodnights before he vanished down the hall,
following a hastily summoned servant to the relative isolation
of the room he had been given.
He had thought of himself as a martyr those four long years
ago. Now he was starting to see himself as more of a fool.
Lying sleepless on the bed in the room allotted to honored
guests, which was on the almost subterranean lower floor,
Qui-Gon heard a series of rhythmic thumps begin a staccato beat
on the ceiling.
*Oh, no...*
He covered his forehead with a weary hand. * I'm being
punished. I know it. I must have done something quite, quite
terrible in a former life, to be so tried. I must have been a
monster, a lecher, a defiler of virgin goats...*
He rolled over and pulled the covers up over his ears, trying
to shut out the sound. The room was chilly and his skin felt
branded where he had touched Obi-Wan in the magg car. That
fleeting contact had felt so promising to begin with, until he
had seen those eyes...
He snorted and turned over again. *What did you expect? You
haven't seen him for four years. Haven't called, haven't sent a
letter. Ten minutes off the transport and you're accosting him
in a dank little car over a swamp. How did you think he would
react?*
The staccato became a syncopated rhythm, and he sighed loudly
in annoyance and jerked the blanket over his head yet again. Of
all the trials visited on him so far in this mission, this was
by far the worst, to have to listen to this lively -- and
obviously very athletic-- young couple express their affections
to each other when his own body was drawn tight as a bowstring
and -
*"Oh, yes! Oh, yes, yes, AH!"*
His eyes flew wide. Slowly, the covers were pulled down in
disbelief . He stared at the ceiling in the dim half-light and
listened with a shrinking heart. He knew that voice. He had
imagined it calling out to him in passion a hundred nights
during their partnership, and a thousand nights since their
parting.
Was this petty revenge or outright cruelty? Was Obi-Wan even
capable of that?
*And why should he believe you would care, one way or another?
Didn't you make it abundantly clear that you did not want him
in your bed, would never want him, had never wanted him? Why
should he even imagine this would affect you?*
When it became apparent that the thumping was not going to stop
immediately, Qui-Gon resisted the urge to cover his ears and
forced his mind to other things. Tallying the mid-quarter
expenses for the Padawan hall, or going over those Ramian
percentages he had attained from the Guild representative.
Anything. Anything not to conjure a mental image to illustrate
those sounds that seemed so vital they must be in this very
room...
Now a second voice was added to the first. Breathless, higher,
more urgent but yet more restrained than the male voice.
"Ooo-O-Obii-Oh!Oh!"
*Damned, that's what I am. Damned.*
Twenty minutes later he was still casting about for something
mundane, disgusting, or absorbing enough to take his mind off
the sounds of rapture that seemed to reverberate in every
corner.
*Is he going for a record or something?*
He smiled in spite of himself, at the cold irony of his
situation, and realized that he had been trying so hard to
ignore the emanations and sounds that he had been making them
all the more present in his mind.
*I knew he was capable of great passion. It's one of the
reasons I was finally convinced to accept him as my Padawan.
Who could have known those passions would turn to me?*
Who could have known I would turn out to be such a cursed idiot
when they did?
He folded his hands over his breast as he laid perfectly still
and allowed his mind to turn the key to the iron door of his
mind, to look behind the shuttered gateways to the place he
avoided like the plague. The only action he had ever taken as a
Jedi that had been beneath him...
It had been late, the sunset Coruscant sky was swept clear of
clouds by a recent storm, and he had left the Temple early
after making last minute preparations for Obi-Wan's Knighting
ceremony. It was to be at dusk the next day, but despite the
joyous occasion, his heart had been heavy. He walked the stone
path back to his quarters with a leaden step.
*I will have to tell him. Soon the bond between us will be
broken in a way he would never have thought possible, nor I. I
was right. He *is* passionate. Too much so. That trait could
destroy us both, drown us willingly in its sinuous grip. He
alone is not to blame. I helped him, may the Force forgive me.
Together we forged chains of desire between us, and now I must
break those links, though it will be like tearing out my own
heart.*
He took perverse comfort in the knowledge that he would suffer
as well, though Obi-Wan would be unaware of that fact. His
apprentice must grow and learn to stand on his own. He could
not be his safe harbor forever. One day he might be forgiven...
He had opened the door to his quarters to find Obi-Wan waiting
for him, and the love and longing and -- Yes, say it, old man!
-- the lust were stamped on his young body in marks plain
enough for a child to see.
Thinking back, Qui-Gon smiled a little as the sounds of the
lovers above lanced into him like sharpened knives.
Yes, young woman. He desired me once, as he desires you now.
Yet... I think what you have is only a shadow of what he gave
to me. For all that, I think you are the more fortunate, for
you were not fool enough to refuse him.
He still remembered the look of joy and apprehension on
Obi-Wan's face when he had entered his quarters. He knew
instantly why he was there, had smelled the scent of
freshly-shampooed hair and still-damp skin, and the subtle
cologne he had used on neck and wrists. His Padawan had decided
the waiting had gone on long enough. He had bathed and prepared
and come here with his heart in his eyes to offer himself to
him.
Oh, gods... Obi-Wan. Forgive me.
He had taken one step toward him, and then two, and then they
were in each other's arms. He'd pulled the young man to him and
fastened his mouth on his, arms reaching around to crush that
slender, muscled form to him, palms moving over his back and
through his hair, tongue flickering out to taste deeply of his
mouth. Oh, Force, he was so sweet! And it was so little to ask,
was it not? One kiss. One kiss for all the years that would be
denied him. One kiss in recompense for the path of loss and
pain that stretched out before him...
And then he had told him. He had cupped Obi-Wan's face in his
broad hands and pretended that the kiss was an apology. Then he
had told him the rest of it. He watched as disbelief washed
over the fine, beautiful features, then anger, and then -- for
the barest instant -- something that bordered on ripping both
sanity and light from him. He watched in pride as Obi-Wan
conquered the darkness that beckoned him and then viciously
shoved him away. He had turned and fled, but not before casting
a look back at him, a bolt of pure hate and betrayal, with only
the wild tears streaming down his face to tell of the anguish
behind it.
Two days later, Obi-Wan left for his first solo mission, and
Qui-Gon informed the Council that he was taking a year's
sabbatical. Only he knew it for what it was truly was -- a
mourning.
Many times during that year he had remembered that kiss. Like
poking a sore tooth, he had conjured up images in the night,
the sweet, aching promise of that mouth pressed to his, the
trembling body arching innocently into him. The suspended
instant of bliss before it was all torn down.
A sudden crescendo of sound brought him back to the present. He
was not surprised to feel his own hand caressing the flat
expanse of his belly, tracing the ridges of muscle with a
fingertip before reaching to grasp the thick wand that lay hot
and rigid against his skin.
*Why not?*
Then a heavy, gravid silence came into the Force, spiraling
into his presence like a red serpent. He could almost *feel*
the orgasm strike through Obi-Wan's body as he spent himself
into his willing lover. To anyone with an ounce of Force
sensitivity it was like an engraved invitation to come and see.
He trembled in his cold bed and resisted that temptation with a
will that made beads of sweat pop out on his brow. He would not
look, would not share in it. He would not be wanted.
Obi-Wan would never want him again.
Qui-Gon took his hand away from his throbbing member and rolled
over onto his side, closing his eyes and willing his yearning
body into an unsatisfied sleep.
*** Chapter Four ***
The sweat of their passion had long dried on their bodies,
gluing them together where they still touched. Neither of them
had fallen asleep. Instead Rivyyn had rolled over, picked up a
datapad and began going over the numbers again. The same
numbers. As if they were going to magically change and provide
answers for her doomed world. Obi-Wan had simply lain awake,
staring at the ceiling as he idly traced a path along her thigh
with his finger.
He did not feel the drowsiness, the sated comfort that he
normally indulged in after such a round of lovemaking as they
had engaged in. Instead his heart felt pinched, as if there
were a fist squeezing it ever so slowly. He had shut his eyes
to that old wound for four years. Somehow he found himself
surprised that it was still there now that he had bothered to
look again.
"Obi-Wan? Are you listening to me?"
He jerked his head to one side, slightly startled, his
unfocused blue-gray eyes finding Rivyyn's black ones. She was
frowning at him, her data reader resting in her lap on the
blankets. She took one look at his face and let a long breath
out of her nose.
"He *is* the one you told me about, isn't he? Your old master?
I knew it as soon as I saw him. As soon as I saw him look at
you." she finally said, setting the datareader on the bedside
table with a hollow thunk and folding her arms across her
chest, making her breasts swell enticingly.
Obi-Wan, for once, did not notice.
"I'm sorry, Riv. What did you say?" he asked, still looking
over at her without really seeing her. She threw up her hands
and pushed out of bed, pulling her robe on as she stalked
across the room to where she kept the liquor, her body a sharp
blade of motion and kinetic energy as it passed through the
swath of pale gaslight that stretched in the open balcony
doors. Her shadow briefly blocked his eyes from the brightness
and he let his gaze land on the trail of crumpled clothing that
led to the bed.
Seeing his own tunic rumpled and abandoned on the floor where
he had flung it earlier reminded him of the raw need with which
he had stripped her of her clothing and thrown her on the bed.
He had not admitted to himself yet just why he had been so
intense in his passion. Just as he had not admitted to himself
that it had not been Rivyyn who had sparked it in him. He
turned his gaze back up to the ceiling where it had been for
the past half hour, tracing the patterns of the cracked plaster
idly.
"Are you going to talk about it?" she asked with a sigh, most
of the sharp impatience gone from her voice now. He looked over
again to see that she was leaning against the doorframe of the
balcony swirling a tumbler of green Iriki brandy around and
staring at him thoughtfully through the darkness. Her dark hair
caught the moonlight in a halo of russet, but cast her features
in sharp relief, making it hard to see her expression. He
firmed his lips and let out a long breath of his own.
"You already know the story." he said softly, one hand coming
up to brush his hair impatiently out of his eyes.
"I know what you told me. Which is pretty damned little." She
lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip, lifting one
slender leg up and scratching her knee with her toe. The robe
fell open, exposing the creamy curves of her body to the
moonlight. She really was beautiful, he thought with a smile,
momentarily distracted from his troubling thoughts. He couldn't
believe his luck sometimes. Times when he wasn't thinking about
what might have been had things been different.
Not to mention other unexpected developments. He closed his
eyes then, bringing his knees to his chest as he sat up,
resting his chin on them. He could still see his Master as he'd
come off that transport, blue eyes boring into him...seeing
through him...just like they always had. He'd almost fallen at
the man's feet then. It was only pride that kept him upright
and every bit as collected as Qui-Gon was.
"There's no more to tell. There never was. He didn't want me.
He lied to me. End of story."
"You know I don't believe that's all there is to it. Even if I
don't know the man, I do know that no one could discard *you*
like that. And I don't think that a man with a reputation like
his, with the wisdom he's supposed to have... I just have a
hard time swallowing that he would do such a retarded thing."
Her voice was getting sharper again and he smiled at her,
tilting his head on his folded arms and blowing his hair out of
his eyes again with a little puff of air. Rivyyn got easily
worked up when she thought something wasn't going the way she
thought it should.
"Well, I was a slightly different person back then, you know.
You didn't know me..." he said with a weak chuckle. She cut him
off with a slash of her hand.
"Bah! You couldn't have changed that much. There's something
you aren't telling me. Spill it, Kenobi." She downed the rest
of the brandy in one swallow and set the glass onto the dresser
with a dull clink before stalking back over to the bed, her
robe still hanging open. With a grace worthy of a Jedi, she
settled onto the end of the bed, folding her legs under her and
sitting back against the footboard. She wasn't going away.
He sighed, finally caving.
"He'd..." he swallowed and rubbed the furrow between his brows,
letting his gaze fall onto the curves and patterns the light
made on the relief of the blankets. "He said that once I was a
Knight I would be free to love him as a man. He told me that
for two years...maybe longer. And then, once I was a Knight he
told me the truth. Turns out it was all a lie to keep me
focused. To keep me aiming for my knighthood. He hadn't wanted
me. He never had."
"That's...horrible." There was a light of disbelief in her eyes
now and he lifted one hand to wave it at her, unable to keep a
short mirthless chuckle back.
"I went to him the night before, actually. The night before I
was to be made a Knight." His voice was harder now, like cold
gravel. "He had almost died in a terrible battle a short time
earlier, and I'd nearly lost him. It gave me the courage to act
prematurely..." he snorted softly, impatiently. "After all, I
was going to be a Knight the next day. I couldn't wait any
longer. I couldn't sleep, and I...I had loved him for so long."
The Jedi let out a breath that was close to a sigh and closer
to a shudder.
He fell into silence then, his eyes staring holes in the soft
blankets of the bed. He was quiet for such a long time that
Rivyyn reached out her hand to touch him, running one hand down
his cheek, not surprised to find it damp. She simply withdrew
back to her place and waited, giving him time.
"He gave me some empty words about how I was still too young to
know what I wanted. That what he had told me those years before
was, essentially, bait. He knew, he said, that I would be
distracted from my studies, from the Order, if he hadn't taken
my desires and pushed them ahead. Used them to help me focus on
a goal. And then he said that he had never intended on
following through with what he had promised. To top it all off,
he told me that I was going to be a great Knight someday and
that he was very proud of me." Obi-Wan gave a mirthless snort
that sounded closer to a sob. "He still thought of me as a
child. He never thought of me as anything else. He probably
still does."
Obi-Wan sighed again, this time letting some bitter steel creep
back into his voice.
"I asked for the first off-planet mission I could get and never
looked back. I hadn't seen him since he cut my braid off...till
today."
They were both silent for a long while, sitting on opposite
sides of the bed, staring across the expanse of tumbled
blankets and different worlds. Finally she grunted. Outside, a
night jak shrieked indignantly at something and the sound of a
large creature splashed in the swamp.
"He doesn't deserve you then," she said firmly. "If he lied to
you, strung you along and then turned you down, he is the
biggest fool in the Galaxy. I pity him." She grinned then, her
teeth white in the gloom. "Besides, I suppose I should thank
him. He's the reason you're mine now."
Obi-Wan snorted, reaching out finally and pulling her slender
body across the bed to tangle in his arms. He was silent for a
long time, his fingers carding through her silky short hair
idly before he finally broke the silence again.
"There's still unfinished business between us. It's not over
for me yet, Riv. I realized that as soon as I saw him today. It
will never be over. Not until I hear it from his lips. An
explanation. An apology or a ...a ...something. But I have to
hear it. I should have ended this a long time ago, but I've
been too cowardly to face him. And he's done an exemplary job
of keeping his distance."
Her lashes tickled his neck as she pressed closer, her voice
getting sleepy in the comfort of his embrace.
"I do have to tell you one thing, Obi. When I saw him look at
me tonight... just for a moment, I saw something in that cold
Jedi Master veneer. Something that looked a lot like jealousy."
His body rumbled under her ear as he snorted again.
"Not possible." he said, his voice slurring too. He was drained
from the unexpected reunion more than he would have ever
guessed. Weariness was seeping into his bones.
"Not possible...." he repeated to the still, humid air of the
room, and he drifted in his mind. Sleep darted around the edges
of his consciousness, playful as waves on a shore. Grainy
colors blurred and blended into familiar shapes and sounds as
his eyelids finally closed...
The crackle of the razorwood fire, the dappling of light and
shadow on the walls blending with the omnipresent, distant
throbbing of the Crystal Cutter in the center of town. In that
disconnected, slow motion manner of dreams, he felt himself
drawn into the cozy warmth of his memories.
An old man sat in a broad chair by the crackling fire,
oblivious to the hissing greens and blues that the pollutants
in the wood produced as he sorted through several stacks of
flimsies. There was a blanket tucked around his thin knees that
must have been placed there by the loving hands of his
daughter. Of a certainty, Senay would not have thought of it
himself. A telling wicker basket by his side held a sad pile of
crumpled tissues - each hiding the black-stained evidence of
the wasting lung-sickness that was slowly eating him alive.
Warm black eyes lifted from the flimsies and a sallow hand
gestured him inside the room.
"What are you lurking about in the shadows for, dear boy? Come.
Sit. Grab a datapad and help me sort through this muck."
He smiled at the invitation and entered the room, pulling up a
low stool and settling himself onto it as he accepted a slim
stack of flimsy. Senay went back to poking at the datapad with
a mixture of good humor and irritation.
"The Mining Guild is trying to squeeze another half percent
from the southern region workers." he explained. "The profits
would be paltry and it means almost nothing to them, but to
many Drey families that half percent is the difference between
want and starvation. We must find a way..." Senay trailed off,
his brow furrowing slightly as he compared one page to another.
Obi Wan let his own eyes fall to the task at hand, happy to
simply be given something quiet to do. The numbers were
depressing, but he took comfort in the fact that Senay would
find some way to squeeze by. He always seemed to. He felt eyes
on him and he looked up with a half-smile on his face and a
lift to his brow. The old man was gazing on him
contemplatively.
"I had hoped you would be free to discuss the Guild
negotiations last night after dinner, but it seems you were
engaged otherwise. I could not find you anywhere."
It was with effort that he kept his face blank then, trying
very hard not to flush red with the all-too fresh memories that
suddenly bloomed in his mind. "I apologize. I had matters to
attend to." Senay's thoughtful expression did not change beyond
lifting up one side of his mouth in a half- grin.
"Hmm. Well... I sought my daughter's counsel when you were
unavailable, but it seems she was engaged elsewhere, too."
Those shrewd eyes saw too much, and Obi Wan's instinct told him
when he had to accept defeat. He slowly set the flimsies down,
squaring his shoulders, and looked Senay directly in the eye.
Rivyyn had wanted to tell her father, but he had not been
certain it was a good idea. It appeared that the choice had
been taken from both of them. He should have known that Senay
would be too sharp for them.
"I mean no disrespect, sir." He prepared himself to defend
Rivyyn, if need be, but Senay only chuckled at his alarmed
expression and waved his hand in dismissal.
"Rivyyn makes her own choices, dear boy. Certainly it is none
of my business. I make it a point to let her do her own
thinking. She could certainly do worse than you." He paused a
moment to hack almost violently into a fresh tissue and then
spent a moment waving Obi-Wan's fretful attempts to assist him
away.
A moment later the old man subsided back into his chair and it
was as if he had never been struck with coughing. He smiled
fondly at Obi Wan. "I wondered if the pair of you would finally
get past all that arguing. Like I always say, shouting is just
one small step from screwing."
Obi-Wan felt his face heat into a full flush at Senay's blunt
words, but could not keep a smile from his lips.
"She does tend to be a bit confrontational," Obi Wan admitted
with a weak chuckle. "It comes from that unshakable honesty."
Senay laughed, grinning openly at the young man, the datapad
forgotten in his lap. "You won't find a lying Ramian, my boy.
Lying does no one any good. It could be that very bit of
misguided honor that got us in so deep with the Guild and their
blasted contract. Because certainly, there are others who do
not feel as we do about dishonesty."
A cold hand closed over Obi Wan's heart then, his smile fading
like sunlight from a darkening sky. Senay's shrewd eyes did not
miss the change in his expression.
"No," Obi-Wan agreed, his voice tired. "There are certainly
others who do not follow that code."
The silence pressed around them for a span of moments, the
fire, the crystal cutter, the simple quiet of a house.
"Do you want to tell me about it, Obi-Wan?" The voice was
gentle, pressing him not at all, offering only the simple
healing of relieving a burden. He had never told anyone about
it, not even Rivyyn. He couldn't. It was too painful. Too ...
humiliating. And it was still too raw. He found himself looking
back at Senay without making a conscious effort to do so. The
old man was simply waiting, still leaning back, compassion
evident on his features. Not pity, never that.
He took a deep breath and let it out again. Senay was the
closest thing he had had to a father. His master was not that,
had never been that, was not supposed to be that. His master
had been his guide, his mentor and his teacher... but never his
father. Never a figure to which one could unload a weakness or
a simple trouble with no price. His master had been there for
him to fight beside, to pull strength from, to mold him - but
not to simply accept him. That was not the place of a teacher.
Senay was offering something he had never had. The gift of
unburdening his soul with no judgement passed or lesson urged.
Senay would not tell him to meditate on it or accept it or let
his feelings into the Force. Senay would only listen and share.
He let his head fall back down between his shoulders, and in
his dream he began to speak...
Obi Wan jerked violently out of sleep, his heart beating
raggedly. His lips were on the verge of forming a word... a
name. He knew it. He uttered a whispering moan and turned over,
snuggling closer into Rivyyn's warmth, his life - his *real*
life, not a shadow of the past- recalled to him. This was where
he belonged.
Wearily, he closed his eyes and sought sleep again, mumbling an
ancient children's chant against bad dreams...
The leader of the House of Drey customarily rose hours before
dawn and grabbed a cold cup of tea and a bit of whatever was
left from last night's dinner before meeting first with the
household guards to discuss her schedule and then with her
mining bosses. After that it was -- in descending order --
petitions, worker grievances, debtors, those accused of
infractions of either clan or miner laws, and lastly,
bureaucrats.
Not this morning.
Obi-Wan awoke to the feel of a warm body curled sinuously
around his torso and legs. He moved closer into the heat, not
quite awake, murmuring gently under his breath, his mind a
clouded tangle of half-dreams with a tinge of old hurts
haunting the edges of memory.
"What was that?"
Obi-Wan's eyes flew open to meet a pair of heavy-lidded black
eyes staring down at him with hard amusement.
"Riv?" Obi-Wan blinked. "What are you still doing-"
"Those words you were whispering," Rivyyn continued. "One
sounded almost like *master*."
Obi-Wan was fully awake now, and sat up, pushing his hair out
of his eyes. "I think not," he said. "You're imagining things."
He was sorry the moment he said it. Rivyyn of Drey was many
things, but she was *not* prone to imaginings.
*Neither*, he thought to himself, *Was she prone to insecurity.
Yet what is that in her eyes, if not jealousy and ... fear?*
He reached for her, but she nimbly evaded him and rolled out of
bed. "Best to get up," she said briskly. "It's going to be a
long day."
The first shaft of orange sunlight struck through the glass
casement and glowed like firelight on her nude body. Obi-Wan
watched as she pulled on her singlet and boots with that sparse
economy of movement that had first attracted him. The second
thing that caught his eye was right before him, and his gaze
lingered wistfully on the curve of breast and belly and the
slide of taut muscles in her arms before they were covered by
the plain gray singlet. Over her clothing she belted a brown
tunic embroidered with a silver horned- moon badge; the
standard the Drey. The color of the tunic identified her as
much as the badge. Blue for the Guild, green for the Venyyn,
and brown for the Drey.
Obi-Wan threw the covers off and reluctantly got out of bed.
"Rivyyn...."
She cut him short with a chopping movement of her hand. "Stow
it, Kenobi. I'm not interested in being anyone's ball and
chain. I don't own you, even if I act like it sometimes."
She smiled then, and stepped close to trail a finger down the
center of his breastbone, digging in slightly with her nails
when she reached his navel. "I don't mind a little baggage in a
relationship. It's normal, and it's natural. I didn't expect
you to be a monk before we met... oh wait, you *were* a monk."
Obi-Wan grinned, thinking her placated, and was leaning down
for a kiss when she dipped her hand and seized both of his
balls in her palm and squeezed. He yelped. Truly, she was not
hurting him, just putting enough pressure on his tender organs
to let him know how much it *could* hurt if she wanted to.
"_But_..." she continued, her voice gone to iron. "I don't
tolerate lies, Obi-Wan. Your feelings for your master are one
thing, lying to me is another. If you still want him, you'd
better let me know. I can understand the attraction. Hell, I'll
invite him up for a tumble with us if you like. The nights are
cold, and he's not a bad-looking old guy."
"Understatement of the year," he breathed, and grunted when she
tightened her grip. A shadow passed over her face, a rare
moment of open fear and weariness before she suddenly released
him and turned to gather up the rest of her articles. She had
to be strong for so many, for the Drey, for him ... and for
herself, sometimes it was easy to forget how tired she must be.
He reached out for her, refusing to let her maneuver her way
out of showing any tenderness simply because she had put her
tough-guy armor on. He could understand fear. He had lived it,
he didn't want her to suffer as he had. This time he caught her
arm and pulled her close, molding his mouth to hers, reveling
in the fact that as hard as she was, she always softened for
him. The kiss was brief, but he could still taste her
uncertainty. She was still afraid when she pulled abruptly away
from him a moment later, her armor settling neatly back over
her.
"I have to get this day rolling. Even if I can't fulfill the
rest of my morning duties, I have to at least meet with the
mining bosses before your Jedi watchdog begins to suck up my
time. I'd better get to it. The *pair* of you can join me in my
office when you're ready."
"He's not-" Obi-Wan began, but stopped when Rivyyn strode to
the door and abruptly exited, leaving him standing nude with
his jaw open.
Twenty minutes later, showered, dressed and shaven, Obi-Wan
strode into the morning room, his mood already thoroughly
soured, to see Qui-Gon standing by the fireplace, reaching for
a piece of firewood in the bin with his bare hand.
"Stop!" Obi-Wan shouted. Too late. Qui-Gon had already grasped
the black- barked split log in his hands. He hissed in pain and
dropped it instantly. The seemingly harmless kindling landed on
the floor with a thud and Qui-Gon was staring at sliced palms
that were beginning to run with red.
Obi-Wan hurried to a cabinet and took down a large lacquered
box. He froze for only a moment when he saw that the comm unit
in the corner was on, the blank screen and flashing prompt
telling him that a message had been sent. *Probably a message
to the Council about me*, he thought, frowning just slightly.
His heart skipped a few beats as he realized that he had not
remembered to erase his communication log files from the
morning before. Had Qui-Gon seen them? That would definitely
raise questions in the older man's mind. Questions he couldn't
answer just yet.
Pushing aside vague fears, he went to Qui-Gon and led him to a
chair, seating himself beside him and taking one of the broad,
callused hands in his own.
"Razor wood," he explained as he opened the box and withdrew a
small bottle with a spray nozzle affixed to its tip. "Didn't
you see the gloves beside the firebox?" He quickly sprayed both
of Qui- Gon's injured palms with the painkilling coagulant and
wiped them off with a sterile strip of bandaging from the box.
The bleeding stopped and did not return.
"It appears I did not study my planetary briefings as well as I
should have," Qui-Gon said. His voice was neutral. "The fire
was dying. I was trying to be helpful."
Obi-Wan reached for another bottle from the box, an antibiotic
from the markings on its label. "It would be helpful if you did
not lose your hands to sepsis while you were here. Razor wood
grows in the lower swamps, the really polluted ones. We spray
it, but it's still full of some very nasty bacteria when it
goes into the fire. See the filter-hoods above the fireplace?
They're to protect us from the airborne contaminants released
by the burning that temperature does not kill. Too, this is a
very underdeveloped world. I would not want to trust my health
to the medical facilities here."
Qui-Gon peered into the depths of the lacquered box and saw the
assortment of bottles, syringes, and pills stored there. "Still
thinking ahead, I see."
A harmless sentence. It could have meant nothing, or
everything. Obi-Wan declined to reply, avoiding Qui-Gon's blue
eyes, which were sparkling with warmth and something Obi-Wan
refused to speculate on. He affixed a few strips of bacta tape
to the shallow injuries. "There." He tried to release Qui-Gon
and suddenly found his own hands gripped tightly.
He had started to rise. Qui-Gon pulled him back down with
unrelenting strength, despite his resistance. "Obi-Wan... we
need to talk."
"We... I..." Obi-Wan stuttered, then flushed, more in anger at
himself than embarrassment. Why did this man always make him
feel like a gawky adolescent on his first date? "I... there's
nothing to talk about. It's over."
Qui-Gon shook his head, a bemused expression on his aquiline
features. "What is over?"
Obi-Wan looked down at their joined hands, feeling as if his
heart were about to thud out of his chest. His breath seemed to
stick in his throat. "Don't play games with me. Not again. I
can't --"
The flow of words stopped when he found himself abruptly
released. Qui-Gon stood and walked to the fireplace, his back
to him. "No games, Obi-Wan. I promise. But perhaps," he turned
and gave him a sad smile. "Perhaps we can address this later."
Obi-Wan felt like throwing the box at his head. He wanted to
force Qui-Gon to look at him so he could shout into his face
that he was no longer a boy to be manipulated. It was just like
Qui-Gon to think that he could. He was a smug, lying, pompous,
infuriating old -!
Qui-Gon placed his hands on the mantle and leaned forwards, his
head bowed, ropes of silken gray hair sliding forward to hang
down on either side of his face, curtaining his expression from
view. Obi-Wan's throat went dry as he stared at the line of his
back, the broad triangle of his shoulders, the trim hips
tapering into the strong muscles of his legs. His illusions of
maturity faded like smoke.
*Right. Nothing to talk about. Like hell.*
"Use the gloves next time," he said brusquely. "And be more
careful."
Qui-Gon did not look at him. "I will try, sir Jedi."
Was that mockery of humor? Could he trust the obvious affection
in that voice, or was it just another studied artifice to get
under his guard?
Well, he had worked hard on his armor these last four years. It
was going to take more than a few smiles from this particular
Jedi to earn his trust.
Obi-Wan closed the box and replaced it in the cabinet. He
purposely did not look again at the Jedi Master. "Rivyyn is
waiting in her office. She requests that we join her after
we've eaten, and then I've scheduled us to tour the Toran mine
facilities. Is that acceptable to you?"
Qui-Gon turned and made a half-bow to Obi-Wan, Knight to
Knight. "It is acceptable."
Obi-Wan strode into the kitchens, but not before he saw the
disheartened look Qui-Gon directed at him. The line of
Obi-Wan's smooth brow hardened as he deliberately pushed away
the unwanted emotions.
Oh yes, it was going to take more than that. A lot more.
*** Chapter Five ***
Toran Mine was almost an hour from the city by magg train.
Obi-Wan stood with Qui-Gon, packed upright in a large group of
perhaps twenty five miners, all heading up into the mountains
for the day. Each wore the brown of the Drey, but there were a
few in blue, all offworlders, all virtually segregated into the
front of the oblong space. None of the Drey paid the blue-tunic
workers any mind, but Obi-Wan could sense the resentment buried
just under the skin, like hidden spines never breaking the
surface.
It was hard to feel anything but antagonistic towards workers
that were paid twice what the Ramians were for jobs that were
considerably less dangerous. It was the Guild, of course. They
brought in their own workers for the higher- paying jobs. They
had medical benefits within the Guild's protection and they
enjoyed a number of other, less, prominent perks that became
clear after only a few days of working alongside them. Of
course, the Guild loved to state that any who wished could
become a member. You only had to pay the rather extravagant
fees that seemed to only apply to Ramians. No Ramian of either
Clan would ever be caught dead in a blue tunic, that much was
clear. Though the moon was definitely getting the short end of
the stick, her people still had their pride.
In spades, they had it.
Obi-Wan grimaced to himself, reaching up to rub at the bridge
of his nose unconsciously. Sometimes it felt like it was never
going to end. Sometimes it felt like he was rolling a ball of
slippery mud uphill. The thing that lay between him and his
former master now was only adding water to the mix. He would
have to continue on schedule, distracting Jedi Master or not.
It would have been so much easier had the Council sent anyone
but this one.
"Are you feeling alright, Obi-Wan?" The voice was pitched low
and perfectly polite. He glanced up into blue eyes that seemed
far too close. Qui-Gon was nearly pressed against him in the
train car, both of them clinging with one hand to the frayed
rope that strung along the top of the compartment. All around
them, miners stood and swayed, muttering and mumbling in a
muted rumble of idle conversation. He let the hand he had been
rubbing his face with fall back to his side, the smooth
countenance of a Jedi slipping back into place. It was getting
easier to do, he thought. Perhaps he could get through this
after all.
But not if he kept slipping like that in front of his old
master. That would end this entire thing a little too quickly.
The thought of it all crumbling so close to completion was
enough to urge him to stretch a false smile across his lips.
"No, Master Jinn. I'm just a little tired," he said evenly.
Qui-Gon tilted his head to one side slightly, studying him, and
Obi-Wan turned away, pretending to watch the passing scenery of
the rocky talus slopes beyond the dirty windows. They had
passed treeline and there was little vegetation beyond, only a
few scrubby bushes and the occasional shock of yellow alipi
grass. He could almost feel Qui-Gon's gaze on him like a heated
touch to his skin. It was disconcerting.
Had he *really* whispered 'master' to Rivyyn this morning? What
kind of repellent irony was that? All Qui-Gon had to do was set
one foot back into his life and suddenly he was going back to
the dreams that had plagued him in his last years as an
apprentice. Pathetic, Kenobi. What sort of weak-willed creature
was he?
He crushed the nymphs of his fantasies under a mental
boot-heel. Even if Qui-Gon had come here to Ramos on the bent
knee of forgiveness, even if he *wanted* to forgive the
man...he *still* had to do what he had to do. Nothing could
change that now. He had worked too long...and too much was at
stake.
Not to mention Rivyyn herself. He wouldn't hurt her for the
world. He knew that she was more than fully capable of handling
herself, but he couldn't live with himself if he had ever been
as dishonest with someone as Qui-Gon had been with him. And she
deserved so much. She would get it, he vowed to himself grimly.
Even if he hadn't already promised her father...she would get
it.
Thoughts of Senay lifted his spirits a little. He wondered
sometimes if Senay were watching him. If he would approve. He
hoped so. He slid his hands into his robes and gripped his
elbows, relying on the Force to keep him upright in the swaying
car. Outside now he could see the approaching black stain on
the sides of the cliffs that spoke of the exhaust pipes,
several 10 meter-wide duranium conduits through which most of
the crystal-drill waste billowed out of the mines themselves.
It coated everything in the vicinity with a greasy, black film.
"We're here," Obi-Wan said softly, hating the look of the Toran
Mine now as much as he ever had. It was an abomination against
nature. In a day and age when there were any number of clean
methods for removing the valuable crystal from the mountain, it
was vile that these people burned petroleum to run their tools.
Not the Ramians, he corrected himself. Never the Ramians. They
would have been happy never mining at all. It was the bad luck
of the draw that had landed their colony on a rich energy
crystal deposit. It had changed who they were as a people
overnight, and they were still fighting that change now. Even
two hundred and fifty years later.
Obi-Wan could see Qui-Gon's immediate distaste and horror at
the sight of the mine itself as soon as they stepped off the
transport onto the platform. He remembered his own reaction
four years earlier, and he suspected that he had not been as
controlled in his revulsion as his old master was.
His gray eyes shifted from the Jedi Master to scan the wide
platform. It was emptying as the workers filed
unenthusiastically towards the mines, but he hesitated. He
couldn't remember a time when he had exited that car here and
Rivyyn had not been waiting for him, her arms folded, her slim
hips canted and her face alight with a sharp grin that tended
to frighten most people. She was busy, he told himself. And she
got a late start. But still, he knew, deep down, that she was
troubled by Qui-Gon's presence.
*No*, he amended to himself. *Not by Qui-Gon's presence...by my
reaction to it.* And she had every right to be uncertain. He
himself was uncertain. He needed to deal with it, and quickly,
before everything he had tried to build here fell apart. Damn
the council. Damn them for sending this man.
The platform was empty now and he knew that Qui-Gon was going
to ask him, any minute now, what they were waiting for. The
magg train left the depot with a screech and a wail of rusted
metal, heading back down the mountain for another load.
"This is the Toran Mine," Obi-Wan explained uselessly. She
wasn't coming. She had said for them to meet her in her office.
She must have meant it. "It's the largest of the Drey holdings.
They run it, as much as it is in name only. The Guild controls
most of the day-to-day operations through their own members."
He shook his head slightly. "I'm sure you read about it
already."
Qui-Gon was still looking around at the gutted valley they
stood in, his own hands folded serenely into his sleeves. The
black smoke blocked out most of the blue of the sky, and the
natural golden blush of the rock's color was matted out by the
grimy, greasy film. The mine's opening itself sat about two
hundred yards away, a gaping, manmade cavern that was both
roadway and walkway. Men and machines clogged the mouth,
uniforms both blue and brown mixing into a hodgepodge of color
against the grim, darkened landscape.
"I've ... " he began quietly. "I have never seen such terrible
pollution from a single source before."
Obi-Wan had nothing to say to that, the sight before them spoke
for itself.
"Well, that's always reassuring to hear."
He hadn't realized just how much he had been hoping to hear
that wry voice until it sounded out behind them. He turned, a
smile breaking across his face before he could hide it. She had
come after all.
Rivyyn never walked anywhere. She stalked. It was a trait she
shared with her late father, Senay. Both of them together had
been something. A whirlwind was one way to put it. Some called
them a meat grinder. Her own face was alight a rare open
expression of emotion. They did not touch as she came up to
them, they didn't need to. He could feel the fire in her
through the Force, a warmth that had always attracted him like
a moth to light. He had especially needed her blunt heat, the
lure of her utter and complete honesty. After Qui-Gon had
crumbled his world with a single lie.
"I saw you standing down here and I thought I would walk you
inside before I meet with the Guild repairmen. We have a broken
drill bit that's shut down the entire J Quadrant. But all that
aside, I've arranged for a tour of the new T Quad. Herall will
take you both down into the mine itself, Master Jinn. If that's
alright with you."
She lifted her eyebrows up at the Jedi master. Why did she have
to make such a simple statement into a challenge? Obi-Wan
thought with faint amusement. He found himself interested to
watch how his master interacted with Riv, and his eyes slid to
the older man's face curiously.
Qui-Gon merely nodded his head, his eyelids hooding slightly.
Was that a flicker of annoyance? Or something else? Had Rivyyn
really said he had seemed jealous the night before? It seemed
hard to believe now, in the light of day. The man was like a
Hoth glacier.
"Of course. Thank you for taking the time, Mistress Drey."
Mistress. That was rich. He couldn't refrain from grinning at
his lover then.
"Sounds good to me, too, 'Mistress'. Not that you asked *me* if
it was alright." He linked his arm with hers and they began to
walk towards the mine. She gave him a sidelong glance that let
him know his attempts to put right the tension between them
were not going unnoticed, but neither were they working. She
turned her head back to Qui-Gon instead.
"No one calls me anything but Rivyyn. I suggest you do the
same."
The tall man inclined his head in amused acquiescence even as
they pushed into the bustle surrounding the entrance to the
mine. Obi-Wan could see the Jedi Master's mild attitude annoyed
her, as if she had expected to make more of an impact upon him.
Obi-Wan smiled wryly, turning his head to hide the expression.
Qui-Gon had faced down killers and Sith and such humans that to
call them pure evil would be more than kind. But only he knew
how very much Qui-Gon could be affected. Only he knew how good
Qui-Gon was at hiding his true feelings.
Too well.
Several high-output white light sources were set up along the
ceiling, lending a sharp-edged cast to everything, highlighting
features and clothing in stark relief. The sounds of machinery
and the duller throbbing sound of the crystal drills seemed to
vibrate through the rock itself.
"Here!" Rivyyn shouted after she had waved a worker over with a
couple of helmets. "Put these on. The mine is perfectly safe,
but it's Guild regulations."
Almost immediately an older man, broad in the shoulder and
waist, built like a barrel, came trotting up, nodding his head
respectfully at Rivyyn. He wore the brown of the Drey with a
small badge on his left shoulder that denoted him as a Mining
Boss.
"This is Herall. He'll show you around!" She yelled over the
noise of the equipment. "Don't worry. It gets a little quieter
below! Meet me back in my office when you're done!" One of her
slender hands, smudged with black grease along the back,
reached out to touch Obi-Wan's hand, and then she was gone,
purposefully weaving her way through the masses of workers
towards a set of suspended steel stairs.
"Come on then!" Herall shouted at them, lifting one hand in a
gesture to follow. Obi-Wan glanced once at Qui-Gon and then
gestured him in front of him. A moment later, they were
entering the lift that would take them down into T Quad.
They were in the mine all of twenty minutes before the
explosions began.
If the pollution had been bad outside, it was even worse
inside. The walls were glistening darkly with the residue of
the drills and before they had stepped off the lift. Harall had
handed them mini- respirators, and they had walked only a
fraction of the length of the tall tunnel when the floor seemed
to tilt under them and the black-slicked walls were rocked by a
distant thunder.
The steel walkway above their heads clattered and swayed as its
cables popped like string. A split second to catch their breath
before his master gripped Obi-Wan's arm, and then another
explosion, this one much nearer. Dust drifted from the ceiling
as events slowed to a crawl.
Qui-Gon, giving him no time to think, pushed him roughly to the
nearest supported wall and flattened him against it. Another
*boom*, and the entire mine seemed to tremble. Workers ran
screaming in blind panic. Metal shrieked as it was ripped
apart, and the stench of sulfur and burned oil became heavy.
Obi-Wan glanced up at the ceiling, noting the heavily fortified
girders and praying they would hold. Being buried under a
million metric tons of molten steel and dirt did not appeal to
him. A quick look at Harall told him that there would be no
help in that quarter. The man was almost gibbering in fear.
Qui-Gon was crushing him against the wall. He uttered a muffled
complaint and fought briefly with heavy robes and strong arms
before he got partially free. "Can't breathe!" he protested.
Qui-Gon released him immediately but still kept him steadied
against the wall, his blue eyes gone wide as he tried to sense
every detail around them, probing for the source of the
explosion, trying to estimate the extent of their danger.
Belated reality hit Obi-Wan like a sledgehammer. Had the damage
come from above? Had it originated on the main level? A mental
image of the thin plexi window of Rivyyn's office overlooking
the main floor flashed through his mind as he felt his mind
flaring into panic.
Qui-Gon was standing very close to him, still scanning with his
senses for further instabilities. Without thinking, Obi-Wan
tried to push past him, his eyes fixed on the sagging gantry
that led towards the steel-doored lift to the upper levels.
"No!" Qui-Gon pushed him back against the wall hard enough to
send the breath out of him in a whoosh.
"Let me go! I have to find her!" He knew his eyes were wild, he
knew he looked out of control and he didn't care one whit. He
shoved at the larger man, trying to slip past him, but
Qui-Gon's grip came down hard around his arms like manacles of
duranium.
"Just think for a moment, Obi-Wan! You'll never get through!"
The voice was growled directly into his ear, echoing in his
brain, piercing the temporary hysteria.
It was true. The elevator was being mobbed by the panicked
Ramians, and the weakened gantry was bowing under the weight of
hundreds or workers pouring across it, seeking for any way to
the surface. The cacophony of their voices was almost
intolerable, the sensation of their frenzied efforts to escape
only heightening his own dread and alarm.
"We can't let her die!" He spat the words out, still struggling
helplessly, feeling the bite of Qui- Gon's fingers into the
flesh of his arms. He would have bruises there in a few hours,
but at the moment, he could only fight.
"People are already dead, Obi-Wan. Hundreds. All those that
were below us nearest the cutter. Can't you feel them?" The
voice was that of reason. The Force echoed behind it, calming
him, forcing him to return to reality. To what he was.
He could. His gut twisted inside him as the emanations of
terror and pain washed over him. Burning. So many of them had
burned to death. Below. Qui-Gon had said below. Not above.
Then, with that unique Force-sense that sometimes attuned him
to those closest to him, he saw Rivyyn's face. She was
grimacing in pain, a red gash in her temple, struggling - as he
was struggling - with a body that would not let her pass.
Durvan, by the span of his shoulders.
*"I have to go to him!"* he heard her shout and curse, fighting
violently with those that held her back.
"I ...have to go to her..." His words were calmer now. She was
alive. She was not dead, not burned. He blinked, letting his
eyes refocus on the man who held him so tightly.
Qui-Gon planted a splayed hand against his chest and shoved him
back against the wall again. He pointed to the screaming mass
near the elevator and thrust his face even closer to Obi-Wan's.
The young knight let himself relax, feeling his hands tingle
with lost circulation from Qui-Gon's grip.
"Where is your training? There are people here right now, right
in front of us, who need our help. We cannot forsake them and
run away to chase our own desires, no matter how dear they are
to us. We live to serve. Remember?"
He did remember. He would never forget.
Rage boiled up in him. He choked it down, his hands clenched
into fists at his sides. But Qui-Gon was right, damn him. Above
all, he was Jedi.
"What do you have in mind?" he asked, gritting his teeth so
hard he feared they would break.
Qui-Gon nodded and clapped a hand on his shoulder, his eyes
offering both approval and regret. "Follow me."
Hours? Perhaps more. The emergency generators finally kicked
in, getting the lifts working again and allowing rescue workers
access to the damage. Qui-Gon himself had used a combination of
bullying, cajoling and the Force to get their own level under
control. By the time the lift doors slid open, he and Obi-Wan
had most of the wounded separated from the healthy and
receiving what first aid they could give. There were very few
fatalities in their immediate area, but the weight of the dead
below was almost a presence all of its own.
He straightened at the first sign of emergency teams, feeling
his spine crackle from too much time spent in a crouched and
bending position. The air in his respirator tasted stale and
foul and his skin felt greasy and gritty with residue. He
couldn't remember the last time he had wanted to see the sky so
much.
Without even thinking, his eyes skimmed the tightly crammed
pack of humanity for his apprentice. It had been pleasing, he
thought, to know that he and Obi-Wan could still work so
smoothly together. They had fallen into old patterns without
even being conscious of it, carrying, calming and caring for
the panicked people with an ease that spoke of just how long
they *had* been a team. Once.
His gaze picked out the form of his old student almost
immediately, slumped against a wall, his head bowed into folded
arms. He looked as weary as Qui-Gon felt. With an effort that
seemed to take more out of him than he would have suspected, he
began to move down the tilted, but stabilized, gantry towards
the young man.
He knelt beside him and extended his hand, then aborted the
gesture twice before finally laying his palm on Obi-Wan's
shoulder. He reached and gently tipped Obi-Wan's face upwards
and looked into stormy gray eyes that were swimming with tears.
For the space of an instant Qui-Gon was hit with a wave of
guilt and self-loathing so strong that it sent an icy shock
through him, momentarily stunning him into frozen silence.
Only for a moment, and then it was gone, so tightly shielded
that the older man wasn't sure he hadn't simply imagined it.
Guilt? Could Obi-Wan blame himself for the accident?
Ridiculous.
Regardless of what he had thought he felt, his student was
grieving, guilt-stricken or not. Tiny shudders were rippling
under his light touch and he squeezed gently.
"So many lives," Obi-Wan whispered. "I felt some of them go.
They were snuffed out one by one. Like lamps. They were so
tired, Qui-Gon. So very tired of life."
"You have seen this before, Obi Wan. You know that the Force
has a pattern that all life follows. It may make you feel as if
you ultimately have no power or place in the Universe, but
eventually you will see that you fit into the pattern too."
Obi Wan was shaking his head from side to side slowly, his mind
mired in shame. So much guilt. It was inexplicable. But he
could sense that his student had heard his words and he had
faith that the young Knight would make use of them.
"Ssh," Qui-Gon soothed him, offering his comfort easily to his
apprentice out of old habit. He wiped the falling tears away
and slid his hand through the silky hair, now grimed with dirt
and soot and the blood of others. "Release your sorrow into the
Force. Let it pass through you. You have done well today,
Knight Kenobi."
Obi-Wan nodded slowly, his brows drawing together as he
considered. "Yes. I have done well." His voice had lowered to
harsh whisper, forcing Qui-Gon to lean closer still. As if he
had triggered a proximity alarm, Obi-Wan suddenly raised
red-rimmed eyes to his, pinning him with a bruised stare. "I
have done well indeed to abandon my lover at my master's
command. To think of Jedi duty first and those that I love and
that love me last."
Qui-Gon realized that Obi-Wan was not only speaking again of
his old deception, but he was using anger to divert both his
teacher's attention and the powerful guilt that Qui-Gon knew
had not been his imagination. Diversion or not, he recoiled at
the mingled venom and grief in the young voice. The Jedi Master
opened his mouth to speak, to ask how Obi-Wan could possibly
feel responsible for the explosion, to beg him to see reason,
then shut it with a click of teeth.
*What's the use? He's in no condition to listen right now.
Later.*
Obi-Wan was staring at him with eyes gone hard as stone. "I
follow in your footsteps, Qui-Gon," he said. "I am truly your
student."
Qui-Gon sighed and stood, turning his back and walking away
before he did what his heart told him to do and gathered the
young man in his arms. He knew he would be rebuffed.
He headed for a huddle of wounded gathered near an accessway,
but before he was halfway there the lift doors slid open with
the second load of emergency teams and he watched as the
unmistakable figure of the Drey Clan leader pushed her way to
the front of the car and began scanning the wreckage almost
frantically. He stopped, taking note of the rather naked fear
in her eyes, the thorny self-possession she normally wore was
in tatters around her.
She saw Qui-Gon first and the panic flared more sharply when
she saw that he was alone. He took pity on her and gestured in
Obi-Wan's direction, almost hating himself for his own good
graces. The transformation in her was astounding. Before his
very eyes, she was once again the same cool, confident young
woman that he knew she was. All it took was one glance to see
that Obi- Wan was alive. Qui-Gon knew that sensation. He had
experienced it himself many times over the years of the young
man's training.
Rivyyn was walking, albeit quickly, across the rubble strewn
floor, dropping to her knees in front of his student and
reaching out to touch his arm almost tentatively. Qui-Gon
wanted to turn away, but forced himself to watch as they curled
tightly into each other's arms, the relief they both felt
seeming to emanate from them in waves he was incapable of not
noticing.
Then he did turn away. He needed to see it, needed to make
himself move on - but he didn't need to torture himself. The
lift was working again and there were questions he had.
He took the next car down to the damaged level with the
emergency teams, tightly packed in amongst grimly silent Drey
workers.
"Stand back for a moment, sir." One of the men said as they
approached the damaged level, lifting up a long crowbar as the
level indicator lights flashed at S and stopped. Lifting the
bar, he levered the doors open onto a scene of hellish
proportions.
The explosion had sucked all the oxygen out of the level,
turning the contained space into a firestorm that would have
left no one alive. Even through the respirator the stench of
charred flesh and roasted metal was terrible. Solemn workers
here and there walked among the dead like concussion victims
and Qui-Gon recognized the first stages of shock setting into
some of them. Clearly, none of them had ever experienced
anything like this. And there were so many dead.
"Why," his voice sounded obscenely loud in the face of such a
grisly tragedy, "why were there so many workers down here?" He
asked the man who had wielded the crowbar. "It seems that there
are far more than were on our level."
The man nodded grimly.
"The broken drill bit over in J Quad shut down production over
there. A lot of us had been diverted over to T and S. This is a
new sector and we're close to what we hope is a new vein.
There's been talk that it might be big enough to get the Guild
to renew our contract."
"I thought that the Ramians wanted the Guild gone." Qui-Gon
frowned in confusion.
"Oh," The worker turned a grease stained face towards him, the
expression in his eyes bleak, "Make no mistake, Jedi. We want
them gone. But we need them. If the Guild doesn't distribute
the crystal, who will?"
The man was right. It would have been different if they were an
independent world with rights of their own. If they were
members of the Republic. But they weren't, and from the looks
of things, there was no way they would allow them entrance even
if they bid for it. They were a squabbling, fighting people
with no real economy as soon as the crystal vanished. Right
now, the dog collar of the Guild was more acceptable than being
set free in the woods to die.
"What about Eri? Won't they help you? Maybe loan your people
the funds to develop your own shipping lines?"
The nameless Drey turned eyes full of contempt towards him
then.
"Eri? They've been draining us of what little profit we've made
for centuries. You think they would want to lose such a
resource? They couldn't care less about us. They dump their
industrial waste on our lower continent. That's about as far as
their concern goes. 'Loan' indeed. The last thing we need up
here is any meddling from them. Trust me, they wouldn't lift a
finger to help us. And frankly, we don't *need* outsider help."
He said the last pointedly, staring at Qui-Gon before grabbing
a body-bag from a tall, wheeled bin and pushing past him.
Sighing to himself, the tall Jedi moved quietly down the ruined
and twisted gantry, careful not to touch the still smoldering
residues that covered every surface. The cutter's pollution
must have had flammable properties. The dead Drey hadn't known
what had hit them.
He traveled closer towards the source of the explosion, finding
the bodies to be fewer and fewer. It was interesting, he
thought, mentally going over the tapes Obi-Wan had sent the
Council. Those records that had spurred them to send him out
here. The things that Obi-Wan said spoke generally of conflict
here and there, nothing specific. Nothing like this. He said
the 'situation' was under control, and it was there that he had
lied. Looking around now, it was clear to see that nothing was
'under control'. Because there was no doubt in Qui-Gon's mind
that this was no accident.
Even now, testing the strands of the Force, the weave of
intentions that had been burned into the wall like relics of
the past preserved for future generations, he could feel the
bad intentions. One, or many, he didn't know. But he could feel
the Dark Side here as surely as he could smell the death around
him.
Sabotage.
*** Chapter Six ***
The ride back down the mountain would always be remembered as
one of the worst hours of his life. He sat slumped on a narrow
bench against the wall with Rivyyn sitting stiffly next to him
as Qui-Gon whispered his suspicions of sabotage to them. Rivyyn
was unmoving, her eyes as hard as onyx itself, her skin bone
pale. He might have questioned if she even heard what his
former master was saying to her, but knew that she heard all
too well.
As did he.
And so. This was the price that he paid. Fourteen hundred dead
in the explosion that he had not foreseen. Had not taken it
into account.
He knew who was behind it. Not the Venyyn, as Rivyyn was so
assured it was. As she was meant to believe. No. He had
miscalculated the degree of ruthlessness in the Eri. For it was
the Eri who had set the explosion off, he knew it as surely as
he knew that he was responsible for not stopping it.
Here, he had been so proud of himself for his intricate plans,
for his plotting and his manipulation. He had prided himself on
thinking of every contingency, of every tack that the myriad
factions on Ramos might plot their course through. He had even
realized some time back that the Eri might try something like
this. But he had not done his job thoroughly enough. And now he
had the weight of fourteen hundred dead Drey on his shoulders
for the rest of his life.
Of course, there was a reasonable part of him that knew that he
could not have been expected to know that the Eri would do such
a thing. That there was no real way for him to have even
guessed. And that the Eri were reacting to the coming end to
the Guild contract, not to anything that Obi-Wan might or might
not have done on Ramos.
*They very likely sabotaged the drill some time ago*, the
reasonable voice in his mind whispered. *Even if you had
guessed they would act in such a brutal way, you couldn't have
prevented the accident.*
The truth of that did not make him feel one whit better. The
fact was that he had suspected the Eri would try something to
push the clans into war before the contract ended, and he had
said nothing to anyone. Not just because Rivyyn would have
never believed him, but because it would have ruined the
delicate threads of his plans. Plans that were still viable,
even with the accident...depending on how Rivyyn reacted to the
tragedy.
The three of them rode the rest of the way down the mountain in
utter, icy silence -- packed in amongst the wounded. Rivyyn was
a statue, and he knew that she would not act until she was in
the safety and security of her home. He knew already that she
thought the Venyyn had done it. Of course she did. That was
what the Eri wanted her to think. And now he had to try and
anticipate her actions.
And he found that he couldn't. He honestly had no idea what she
was going to do next.
He did know that he had never seen Rivyyn so angry in all his
time knowing her. Even once she reached the safety of Drey
House, cleaned up and had asked the servants to bring tea into
the common room, she did not rage or shout. She simply sat and
stared at the fire, her newly washed hair lying in damp curls
at the back of her neck, her face set in stone. Her slender
hands clutched her mug of cooling tea like it was a lifeline,
her fingers white with the pressure of her grip.
He could only wait for her to come out and accuse the Venyyn.
Ludarr Venyyn was as intractable and ruthless in his own way as
Rivyyn was, but he was no murderer. He cared too much about
Ramos, just as Rivyyn did. The Clan *always* came first, but
deep down they were all Ramians together against the rest, and
that was something every last soul on the moon had in common.
No. Ludarr would not do such a thing. Any more than any Ramian
would.
And only now, while he waited for her to move, he slowly began
to wonder about the other small incidents that had increasingly
stirred tensions between the clans in the past few months. The
power outages, the beatings, the vandalism, the offensive
graffiti. All of it.
Just like Riv was now, he had simply *assumed* that the Venyyn
had been behind it. After all, who else hated the Drey? But now
he wasn't so sure. What would the Venyyn *gain* from sniping at
their enemies the way that they had been?
The answer was 'nothing'.
His brow furrowed with renewed anger at his own blindness. The
clues had even been there for a blind man to see. The Eri had
been working at tensions that had always existed, probably from
the very start of all of it several months ago. So much
planning, and he had let himself become mired in subjectivity.
He had let himself be influenced by Rivyyn's bias.
Oh Force, those dead miners *were* on his conscience. Even now
if he succeeded in the remaining days, there would always be a
price here that he had paid with the blood of others. Not for
the first time, he began to feel like a spider caught in the
weaving of his own web - strangling on the silken strands,
getting drawn deeper and deeper into the darkness of his
creation.
No. He could not crumble now. Not if he didn't want those Drey
to have died for nothing. He only had a little longer. Now he
had to do something to keep the Eri quiescent until then, and
it was almost time for his final meeting with the Guild.
Late afternoon sun spilled through the windows on the front of
the house. Qui-Gon still sat at the desk against the wall,
silent, going over documents that Obi-Wan might or might not
have wanted him to see. He was just about to force his tired
body to get up and see what Qui-Gon was so interested in, when
suddenly, after almost a full hour of sitting like a statue,
Rivyyn set her now cold, untouched tea carefully onto the low
table and stood. He could sense that she had decided what to
do.
"Riv?" Her slim body was taut with her contained rage, but the
eyes she turned on him were eerily cool.
"I am going to see Remoran Krunn. Now."
"The Guild Rep? Why?" He stood as well, frowning at her. Out of
the corner of his eye, he saw Qui-Gon look up, but he forced
his full attention on Rivyyn. She was the one who needed him,
he reminded himself.
"I'm going to declare Blood Feud on the Venyyn. I want Krunn to
support me."
It was exactly what the Eri wanted, he thought with a sinking
heart. A Clan War. He had hoped that she would be more
reasonable than that, but what right did he have to deny her
her rage?
"Riv, that's.. that's insane." It was all he could manage. He
set himself firmly in her path, his own brow like a
thundercloud. He could match her temper, he knew. It was
exhausting, but he could do it. She stared at him.
"Fourteen hundred." she said softly. "Do you hear me, Kenobi?
Fourteen hundred. Dead. Drey." Her eyes were like shards of
glittering onyx. "Fourteen hundred!" She shouted now, loud
enough to rattle the holos on the wall.
Force. He heard. He could still hear them dying in the back of
his mind.
Across the room Qui-Gon pushed to his feet with a scrape of his
chair. Without even looking around, she lifted an arm and
pointed at him. "Sit. Back. Down. Jedi. This is no concern of
yours."
Qui-Gon folded his arms in his sleeves and regarded her
inscrutably. It was plain that he thought her hysterical beyond
reason, and so he did not try to persuade her. It was the Jedi
way, to let a people choose their own destiny, for good or ill.
Influence they would use, yes. Sanctions. Trade embargoes.
Political muscle. But they would not use their Jedi powers to
force leaders into seeing matters their way. To play god with
history was like the road to Hell - they were both paved with
good intentions.
He could almost feel his teacher's honorable thoughts from
where he stood and he fought back a hysterical bray of shameful
laughter. If only Qui-Gon knew what his student was doing
now...what he would do yet.
Rivyyn's attention was still firmly on Obi-Wan. "Nor," she
added more softly, a whisper that cut like a blade, "is it any
of yours. This is a Drey matter, and though you live in my Clan
home you are not Drey."
That hurt, salt on an open wound, but he didn't let it show.
She was angry, very angry. And under it all was a grief and a
guilt so deep he wasn't certain it wasn't eating her soul.
"Rivyyn Drey," he spoke firmly, knowing that she would not
respond to wheedling or pleading. "You are the leader of your
Clan. You are responsible for them. Vengeance is not going to
bring back the dead. This you already know. What you do not
know is whether the Venyyn were even the ones behind the
explosion. Would you condemn people to die on a biased
suspicion? Not only would a Blood feud be insane, but there is
no way the Guild will ever take sides. They don't care about
your vengeance. They don't care about anything except the
crystal."
He could not tell her about the Eri. Not yet. Though it cut him
deeply to keep the secret. She would not believe him, and even
if she did, exposing the Eri would accomplish nothing for
Ramos.
"I know that. I plan on offering them part of our cut of the
crystal for their support."
*Oh Rivyyn.* He blinked at her. Once. Twice. And then, without
even thinking any further on it, he lifted both his hands,
cupped her face between them and looked directly at her.
"Sleep."
She did, slumping gracefully into his arms as if all the bones
in her body had gone to water. He held her against him for a
moment, his face pressed into her clean, soft hair before he
laid her gently back onto the couch, trying not to shake too
much from the sensation of his bones turning to ice. It seemed
as though with each new act he tangled himself further in his
own weaving. This move had most certainly severed the
once-strong tie of trust between them.
But he had gone too far now to be able to let her vengeance
ruin everything.
He refused to look at Qui-Gon, though he could feel the older
man's stunned surprise from where he stood. He spread a nearby
blanket over the sleeping woman and slowly straightened, trying
to calm his thoughts before he spoke.
"She isn't thinking clearly. She doesn't want a war." He said
the words quietly despite the trembling in his gut. Despite the
fact that he knew he was right.
"Knight Kenobi," the words were soft. "What are you doing? Is
this what use you make of the training I gave you? Is this how
you solve problems?"
Obi-Wan finally looked over at his master, his face placid.
"You don't understand anything, Qui- Gon." He said, fighting
for calm as he tucked his shaking hands into his sleeves.
Blood Feud. His gray-blue gaze lifted to Qui-Gon's then, his
heart twisting painfully at the grave disappointment he saw
reflected in those blue orbs.
He wanted to steel himself to it. It was only going to get
worse. And yet...
"Master," Obi-Wan gave Qui-Gon his old title at last, his voice
shaking, and somehow poignant in its pleading, his control
broken in a way that no argument with Rivyyn ever could.
"Please... trust me." He bowed his head, suddenly afraid that
Qui-Gon would see through his plans as easily as through gauze.
He thought Qui-Gon's shoulders slumped a bit. "I will always
trust you, Padawan, although you have given me little reason to
on this mission."
*He* had given him little reason to trust? He glanced up
quickly, an accusation on his lips, but when gray eyes met blue
he had to admit that Qui-Gon was only speaking the truth. Their
own shattered past had no place in this mission. "Fair enough,"
he said, then clamped his jaw shut before he could betray
himself further.
He knew what he had to do next. Now, while Riv was asleep.
Looking at Qui-Gon in all his stern, admonishing honor had
switched a light on in his brain. All this time he had been
bemoaning the all-too-personal reasons he had had for not
wanting Qui-Gon to have been the Envoy. But there *were*
benefits to this particular Jedi. Not just because he had been
his master, but because of the older man's unique, independent
way he had of doing his duty to the Council. His eyes trailed
back over to his master then almost without thinking. There was
no reason that he couldn't make the most of that trait.
For the first time since he had seen Qui-Gon set his boots on
the damp landing pad the night before, he was *glad* it was
this particular Jedi that had been sent. No other Knight in the
Order would trust him enough to let him get away with what he
needed to do with Jaarahn Bos.
"I have to see the Eri representative immediately," he stated,
lifting his chin as if issuing a challenge.
"I will come with you." Qui-Gon said in a voice that brooked no
debate. Obi-Wan might have smiled at the tone. His master
thought he was cracking up.
Well. Whether he was or not, if it made Qui-Gon come along, all
the better.
*** Chapter Seven ***
Mid-afternoon now? Hard to tell through the thick cloud of
greasy smoke from the huge Cutter, a thick right cloud of both
pollution and incessant, pounding noise that seemed to hover
over the center of town. They were walking deeper into it and
he could almost feel the grit of pollution in the back of his
throat. The grime of corruption. It was all around him,
interwoven with the brighter strands of the Ramians themselves.
Obi-Wan found his own thoughts a swirl of controlled motion.
This would work.
It would.
His eyes did not slip towards his master's imposing form at his
side. He could feel the man's every movement, sense the tightly
reined control of Qui-Gon's own emotions. He had held his
breath for a moment back there, hoping and praying for his
master to trust him, knowing that he had not earned that trust
with his actions since his master had arrived. But he felt no
regret for his lack of honesty. If Qui-Gon had given him any
one thing in those final days together, it had been the
knowledge of when to mislead and when to dissemble. The value
inherent in simple non- disclosure.
Briefly, Senay's face surfaced before his inner eye, the old
man's dark eyes still snapping with spirit within a landscape
of sallow, parchment-pale skin. The feeling of that slender box
in his hands, the shocking burden that had come with it. Those
thin lips whispering to him, eking a promise from him that,
while it had been a terrible burden, he still knew he could
have never turned away from.
Pieces of a puzzle, Senay had said. 'The minds of the Ramians
are simple,' the voice rasped in his head like dried leaves
skittering along a sidewalk. 'But they are stubborn beyond
reason. Speak left and they will turn right. Hope is
non-existent to us. It is both our greatest weakness and what
has kept us pure. It also makes us suspicious and mistrustful.
Keep this ever in mind, Obi-Wan, if you wish to succeed. Use
this information. I know that you can. I know that you will. I
have no doubt. You will not fail us. You will not fail her.'
His teeth were tightly clenched as he remembered that promise
yet again. He had not forgotten it for a single moment in all
the days and months and years since Rivyyn's father had died.
But it was almost over. It did not occur to him that he would
fail, he had seen to it that he wouldn't. He never failed.
His eyes did slide towards the profile of his master then, a
twinge of regret and pain slicing into him.
Well, almost never.
The massive government building that the Eri occupied crouched
in an ugly scattering of dull, dirty boxes slabbed together out
of rusted metals. It was appropriate, he thought, grimacing up
at the hulk as they drew nearer, that the Eri held 'court' in
such a place. It was as vile and tainted as their very presence
on the planet. The Guild offices were just as bad.
Qui-Gon had not spoken a single word on their trek, and he did
not speak now. Perhaps he was waiting for his student to
explain himself, to offer an apology. The thought made his
heart twist slightly. It was not Qui-Gon or even the Jedi Order
itself who deserved the apology for what he was doing on this
hopeless moon. It was Rivyyn. And for more reason than just
sending her to sleep against her will.
But that was an issue for another time.
The younger knight finally broke the silence, turning to the
big man just before they entered the Eri Quarter. The Jedi
Master's presence was going to do the job for him, true, but
only if the man didn't ask questions. This was a tricky bit.
Qui-Gon was not exactly malleable.
"I asked you to trust me back at the house," he said, taking a
slight breath and folding his arms tightly into his sleeves. "I
have to ask you again. When we take this meeting, I beg you not
to speak a word beyond the necessary. I have..." he paused,
trying to find the words that he could use without giving
himself away. It was like tiptoeing through a thermal-field
trap. "I have worked for some time at the relationships here
and they could unravel very easily." There, that was true
enough. Qui-Gon would detect no lie.
His former master's eyes narrowed slightly, but after a moment
during which Obi-Wan felt certain those blue eyes had ferreted
every last one of his secrets out into the light, the leonine
head shifted minutely in a nod. The gaze that trapped his spoke
of limited patience, however, and Obi-Wan could sense that he
was working off of the good graces of their past relationship
only. The Jedi Master would take little more of this without
explanation.
That was fine. It would all become clear soon enough.
The meeting with Jaarahn Bos took very little time and went
better than he could have hoped. Qui-Gon stood shrouded in his
stony authority and let Obi-Wan make his veiled threats.
Threats stating that the Republic might become involved in
Eri's affairs if matters on its colony moon became any worse.
They were empty words, but the presence of a Jedi Master in his
office made the Erian more than nervous. And it gave Obi-Wan
the credibility to make any sort of threat at all.
He could *feel* Bos wondering just why the Jedi Council, and
perforce the Senate, would have sent a high ranking Jedi to his
insignificant corner of the galaxy in the first place.
Obi-Wan's insinuation that the Republic was on the verge of
sticking their fingers into the business of one of its members
was enough to make the thin, sharp-edged man wary.
A wary man would not instigate the two Clans further. At least
for two more days. And that was all the time he needed. Once
the contract was up, if all went well, the Eri would not be a
factor on Ramos anymore.
Bos showed them out of his office with a greasy smile and
falsely-sweet assurances that there would be no reason for the
Republic to 'assist' the situation on Ramos. Obi-Wan let
himself revel in the small victory, even if it was only a
stopgap solution. It would hold for long enough.
He and his master walked back out into the late afternoon light
of Guresh, and he found himself enjoying the basic, much-missed
pleasure of having a partner again. Even if it was illusory.
Even if it was all based on lies. It still felt good to have
that tall presence at his side.
The false sensation broke completely apart a moment later when
Qui-Gon turned a suspicious gaze upon him. It was cool and calm
yet, but he could sense his teacher was angry. Qui-Gon had
obviously already gathered, from the short conversation with
Bos, just *why* Obi-Wan had just threatened the man. He had
realized for himself who had orchestrated the Toran Mine
accident.
"I suppose that you weren't going to tell me about your little
revelation about the Eri being behind the sabotage at all? How
long have you known?" Qui-Gon's deep voice was wary and more
than a little tight when they reached the street. Obi-Wan
wondered if it was the misdirection he was mad about or just
the fact that the good little Padawan hadn't confided in his
all-knowing master right away. He bit the inside of his cheek,
reminding himself that everything did not have to come back to
the bitterness between them. Qui-Gon was well within his rights
as Council Envoy to ask the question.
"There was no time to explain everything in detail," he said,
stopping to face his master with as much honesty as he was
capable of. The stony expression on his face would have been
enough for most to back off from, but Qui-Gon didn't even
budge. Instead the big man folded large biceps before him and
stared right back.
"This is not a game, Obi-Wan. There are lives at stake here. If
you knew that the Eri were behind the sabotage, why did you not
say so immediately? Why did you not tell Rivyyn this instead of
switching her off like a child's toy?"
The young knight gritted his teeth in frustrated exhaustion.
"You don't understand anything." He was repeating words he had
spoken back at the house, but he didn't care. They were as true
as anything he had ever given voice to.
"Then help me to understand." Qui-Gon's voice was suddenly
gentle, the hand on his shoulder a warm weight that seemed to
offer a much needed bulwark to bolster him. "You don't need to
bear this alone." Obi-Wan twisted out from under the contact,
unpleasantly hyper-aware of the man's touch.
"Can you find your way back to the house on your own?" he asked
suddenly, icy cool -- avoiding both his master's offer and his
touch for the sake of his own calm. He glanced up at the
afternoon sky, taking note of the time. There was still one
more visit he had to make. Unlike the meeting they had just
taken with the Erian, this one had been a part of his plans
since the first. It was time for the final stitch in his
pattern. And this one had to be alone. "I have an errand to
run."
The obvious suggestion that he come along sprang to his
master's lips and Obi-Wan could almost see the words forming
before the older man simply let them die. Qui-Gon looked into
his apprentice's eyes for several heartbeats before nodding
very slowly.
"Do not be long. I believe there are things that we still need
to speak of." The voice was gentle and Obi-Wan felt his veins
run hot with the honest affection that seemed to swim in his
master's tone. Honest.
Right. That's what he had thought before. Still, he had to work
much harder to keep up his antagonism, and it worried him
slightly.
He managed a nod and turned, striding as quickly away from the
tall man as he could without running. He was deeply ashamed of
how easily he could feel himself sucked in by the smallest
amount of affection the Jedi doled out. 'Please sir, may I have
some more?' It was pathetic. Qui- Gon couldn't possibly be
inferring what it felt like he was. The attempted kiss in the
magg car, the hundred looks and glances, the tender words and
the gentle touches. It was all impossible. Why would Qui-Gon
have discarded him all those years ago if he had actually
*wanted* his little puppy of a Padawan?
Obi-Wan viciously ignored the distraction of that ridiculous
hope, deliberately letting his footsteps carry him openly and
visibly through the Venyyn Quarter before turning towards the
billowing smokestacks of the Cutter and the massive dark
monolith of the Guild Headquarters itself.
"There he is again, should we set someone on him?"
"Are you kidding? Of course. You know what Ludarr said."
"I'll go, he'll never see me."
"Just keep your head down."
"I will, but I do have to wonder what the point it. We *know*
where he's going."
"Ludarr still wants to know *why*. I think he's about ready to
do whatever it takes to find out."
"Fine. I'll be back."
"Be careful. There are two of them around now and I don't like
the feel of things...all the more reason to be wary."
*** Chapter Eight ***
Rivyyn was pacing like a caged cat when he returned only a
scant hour after Qui-Gon had gotten back. Her fury hung in the
air in a palpable cloud, and he wondered what had kept her in
the house once she had surfaced from her sudden and abrupt
descent into sleep.
He shut the door behind him and leaned against it, his eyes
finding hers and trying to return her gaze. It was like taking
hold of a red hot poker with his bare hands. She had frozen a
few feet away from him when he'd entered and he realized then
that the only reason she hadn't left the house was because she
had wanted to be there when he got back.
"Riv..." he started lamely, not certain at all how to handle
her in this state, not certain he could justify his actions
just now without completely destroying the suddenly cracking,
deteriorating foundation of their relationship. The truth was,
there was no justifying what he had done. He had taken her
choice from her, rash or not. He had, as Qui-Gon had so aptly
put it, switched her off like a toy. How could she ever forgive
him for that?
Perhaps...perhaps it was better that way. In the next day it
wouldn't matter so much anymore. He had already guessed what
the results of his remaining actions would be for the both of
them, but he had rather naively thought that they would get
through it. Now that everything was at hand and betrayal
snapped at him from those dark eyes, he was no longer quite so
certain *he* could get through it.
Not like he could stop it now. Not now.
"Don't." She held up one slender hand, taking a deep breath. He
could see she was trembling slightly and he swallowed in a
throat suddenly thick with pain. Suddenly he was seeing himself
standing across the room, staring at the one man he had trusted
with his love, watching as it all cracked and shattered around
him like a carnival mirror. "Don't come any closer." Her voice
was so hard. So sharp that her words cut into him. She folded
her arms tightly in front of her and took another deep breath.
"Why?"
"You know why. Blood Feud is not the answer." His voice was
soft, but not placating. Rivyyn did not respond to placating.
"You..." she swallowed, her eyes glittering suspiciously,
"...you don't have the right to make that decision. You are not
Drey."
It hurt her to say it, but it cut him more deeply. Even though
he was not Ramian, Senay had taken him into his home like a
son, taken him in when it seemed that no one else wanted him.
He had been made a part of the family. And when he found that
he loved Senay's daughter, it had seemed to be enough to make
him belong. But he never really had. He had always known that,
deep down. So had Rivyyn.
"Do you *want* to be Drey, Obi?" It had taken courage for her
to ask, he could see it in her face. But she had never been a
coward.
His lips parted, words he could not find tumbling about in his
head. The silence in the hallway was like a cold presence of
its own. An answer all by itself. He felt like he had been
punched in the gut. He did, he had always...he wanted to say
it. But he couldn't.
He simply couldn't.
Now the moisture in her eyes spilled over, silently slipping in
liquid grace down her fair cheeks and gathering under her
pointed chin in a crystalline drop. He had not seen her cry
since her father had died. He took another step towards her,
his own heart slowly clenching into a tiny, hard lump in his
chest, but she lifted her hand again to stop him.
Was this how Qui-Gon felt when he'd broken his apprentice's
heart? Had he stood across the room and watched a young man's
love turn black with betrayal? The thought did not help him
empathize, it only made him hurt more. Tears of his own were
swimming just behind his eyes.
Rivyyn swiped at the moisture impatiently, leaving her eyes
tinged red before she turned away from him, finding a spot on
the floor to hold her gaze.
"So that's that, then. I suppose he walks in the door and
suddenly everything that was between us becomes a lie." Her
tone was fury now. She didn't enjoy feeling out of control. It
always made her angry.
But now he could feel his own ire rising.
"How can you suggest something like that! You know I never lied
to you!" But as soon as the exclamation left his lips he
wondered if it was true.
"Didn't you?" She spun around and stared at him, her features
under control again behind the comforting mask of her ire.
"I've always known you were carrying him around in your heart
like an old blanket you couldn't bring yourself to part with. I
knew it, and you knew it and..."
"Don't try to invalidate what we had, Rivyyn." He snapped, then
heard his own words with horror. *Had.* The past tense had come
so easily to his lips, had slipped through them before he could
stop himself.
The impact was not lost on Rivyyn. She gave a short, bitter
laugh and turned her eyes to gaze out the hall window.
"Denying what we... what we had won't make this any easier." He
took a deep breath then, temper for him was hard to come by and
it was even harder to hold on to. It simply wasn't in his
nature. "This is just a hard time. We're both under a lot of
stress...and the contract is coming to an end-"
"Cut the crap, Kenobi! We both know *exactly* what started this
whole thing and he's sleeping in the guest room!" She hissed
the words at him. He didn't know when the conversation had
turned to Qui-Gon. Perhaps it had always been there.
She flung up her hands and stomped towards the stairs.
"Look at you! You still don't know! How could I have ever
fallen for someone so daft!?"
Anger again.
He strode after her, his own voice rising in retaliation, his
feet lifting onto the treads of the stairs.
The argument was pointless. Both knew that what had happened
was a terrible blow to their relationship, and it had happened
in the first few moments of the conversation.
But neither wanted to admit it out loud. Not ...just...yet. And
fighting seemed the only way to continue past that fact.
Not for the first time, as he lay there in his sterile -- and
solitary -- bed, trying to shut out the sounds of acrimony
leaking through the very walls, he allowed himself to think
about it. To play "what if" once more.
What if, when he had cupped that beautiful face in his hands,
he had not spoken the words that shattered his apprentice's
belief in him?
What if he had drawn him closer instead, covering those
trembling lips with his own, and then kissed his way across the
silken cheek to the pink shell of an ear that begged to be
circled with his tongue. What if he had nibbled and sucked the
cream-white column of his throat before sliding the rough
muslin cloth back from those slender muscled shoulders... what
if he had bent his head to lap the rose-colored nipples into
hard peaks...
He was not surprised to feel his traitor hand straying low to
take his aching cock in its saber- callused grip. His eyes flew
open at the intense pleasure the enveloping tightness provided,
but it was not enough. He was tired of playing 'what if'. He
wanted to play 'what next'. For the first time, Qui-Gon
admitted fully to himself that he wanted Obi-Wan back, and not
as a platonic apprentice.
Far from it.
He wanted him as lover. In his bed, at his side, living back on
Coruscant if necessary. Anywhere, so long as they were
together.
He knew he could accomplish it, if he were of a mind. If he
would stoop to use a lifetime of schooling in human nature and
weakness to get what he wanted for himself. What he wanted so
badly that the word 'ethics' was beginning to sound like an
obscure and scholarly concept that had little to do with him. A
dusty term for parched old men with such tender hungers far
behind them. Certainly not for him. Not for he whose blood sang
and whose very tissues burned from within.
Could he ignore his conscience? Did he want Obi-Wan back so
badly that he would use his talents and his teaching to push
Rivyyn out of the way so that the path to his love would be
clear? Could he do that to her, to that strong- willed, noble
young woman? Could he betray her hospitality by stealing her
lover?
Yes! his body screamed. His mind told him a different tale, and
his heart was at war with both.
Obi-Wan still had feelings for him, that much was plain. He
could arrange to be alone with him for a short period of time,
without Rivyyn...
Simply being who he was provided him with a host of excuses to
meet with Obi-Wan on official Senate or Council business, which
would automatically exclude a non-Republic Ramian leader. He
could ask Obi-Wan to spar lightsabers, or to perform a
meditation, both of which Rivyyn could not participate in.
Then again, he thought wryly, you could just take that magg car
ride again, and pray for a power outage.
Oh, there were a thousand ways. He knew he could do it, too.
Sharp as she was, Rivyyn of Drey was no match for a Jedi
master. Not if he put his mind to the task. Not if he threw out
all of his scruples and his pride and actively pursued Obi-Wan
with all the power of their tangled past at his fingertips. He
knew every one of Obi-Wan's buttons, all of his vulnerabilities
and sore spots. Knew him better than he knew himself, for he
had been linked to that bright mind for more than ten years.
There was no one, not even Rivyyn, who had such intimate
knowledge.
At the same time he could manipulate Rivyyn's anger against her
until Obi-Wan saw her as little more than an impetuous, angry
child trying to fill a chair too big for her, and resorting to
violence when she could not.
He could open Obi-Wan's eyes to the pathetic and shabby reality
of Ramos V, how it was doomed as a hundred other small worlds
were doomed, sentenced to an early death by the fat, top-heavy
bureaucracy that they both served under and battled against. He
could make him long for the golden spires of Coruscant once
more, for a space of beauty after long years of darkness and
grime and separation from the brotherhood of fellow Jedi.
Could he do all that, to attain the simple ecstasy of a young
man in his arms? Qui-Gon sent these queries into his soul as he
stroked himself roughly and quickly to completion, his
repressed body needing little stimulation to bring him to the
pinnacle before he gasped out a name and tumbled down the
crest, grasping at elusive visions of blue-gray eyes and a
smile that could melt the sun.
Qui-Gon sighed and rolled over, pulling the covers up over his
sweating body, which had grown chilled in the damp air.
His conscience, at least, was at peace, for he realized that he
could not find it in himself to employ any of those methods
that the darkness whispered to him. Not and remain Qui-Gon Jinn
afterward. As his semen dried to a white scale on his belly and
sleep continued to elude him, Qui- Gon promised himself that
when the time came he would approach Obi-Wan without guile.
And he would accept whatever verdict Obi-Wan handed down. He
would accept any answer from him, so long as it was an honest
one.
They had suffered enough lies between them.
Sleep evaded Qui-Gon. He let it for a while, listening to the
pain between Obi-Wan and Rivyyn fade to whispers and finally to
silence. Heavy footfalls clumped up the wooden stairs, and he
listened in dread for the now-familiar thumps on the ceiling,
but soon realized that there would be no such noises tonight.
There had been just too much fracturing between the couple. He
doubted if they could overcome it, and then stifled the sudden,
shameful rush of hope that flooded his chest.
*You wish Obi-Wan heartache simply to soothe your own hurts?
Some master Jedi you are.*
Qui-Gon sighed and threw off the covers. He stood, nude, and
padded to the chair to gather up his clothing. He began to
dress in the darkness, refusing to reach out for Obi-Wan's mind
and inform him of his plans.
*Let him sleep for once. He looks like it's been weeks since he
had a decent rest.*
He smiled wryly. *Maybe he should concentrate on sleeping more
and fucking less. Whups, what did I say about Jedi masters? Ah
yes. We have foul mouths and appalling morals. For shame.*
He threw his Jedi cloak over his shoulder, shrugging to settle
the heavy material into elegant folds, and exited silently into
the hall. He was not surprised to find the outer doors guarded
by armed patrols.
*That's what Jedi abilities are for. That's it, my girl. You
heard nothing out here after all. Trot on back to your post.*
Qui-Gon slipped through the gates and into open street, finding
the dark city still bustling with activity. He blended into the
milling crowds, ignoring the few questioning looks he received
that told him the spectators were aware that it was not an
ordinary brown cloak he was wearing, but the raiment of an
elite order. He hurried away from them to the end of the avenue
and turned onto Lash Gathon Street. *The street of worms*, he
mentally translated, and grimaced. Force, what a name. And what
was that stench? Augh! Disgusting. Force, what a place. How did
my bright, vibrant Obi-Wan come to love this dank, filthy
world?*
For love it he did. Qui-Gon saw it in his fierce loyalty to
Rivyyn, in his grief over the Drey miners, and in his rage at
the condition of the spoiled Ramian ecosystem. But then,
Obi-Wan always loved the underdog.
*He loved you, didn't he?*
Qui-Gon muttered and pulled his cowl closer over his face to
hide the forbidding expression. He walked faster and turned
into an alleyway, his focus directed inward, walking aimlessly,
no direction in mind.
There were so many things happening here, and he could feel his
apprentice's hand in nearly every level. Obi-Wan *was* planning
something, and he was doing it with both a finesse and a
deviousness that his master found slightly disturbing. He had
seen the worried look that Obi-Wan had directed at the comm
unit that morning, could practically hear the concerns that had
bloomed there. And indeed, Qui-Gon *had* seen the log files on
the Comm unit. But they had made no sense to him. Why on earth
would Obi-Wan be making secured, encrypted calls to upper level
members of the Senate? What could he possibly have to say? It
obviously had to do with Ramos, but Ramos was not a member of
the Republic, and therefore they would have no say in any of
what went on there. They had *interest*, true, because of the
crystal. The crystal was the very reason that Obi-Wan himself
had been initially posted here. A token show of support for the
Guild by the Senate.
But why would Obi-Wan be contacting Senators? He wished that
he'd had the time to get the logs decrypted, but he could not
have done that without revealing whatever it was that Obi-Wan
was hiding to the Council. Why did the young man not want the
Council to know what he was doing? Qui-Gon's lips thinned then.
That, at least, was obvious. He was interfering with Ramos far
more than any Jedi would approve. His relationship with Rivyyn
was walking the line as it was, but after that demonstration of
his student's guile with the Erian Representative earlier, he
would be well within his right mind to simply report the youth
to the Council.
Such a thing would not have been his style, of course. Even if
it hadn't been Obi-Wan. He needed to learn more. Needed to
understand what it was that the young Knight was doing. It was
more than clear that he wasn't going to get any answers from
the man himself.
He did not see four blue-suited figures step into his path, nor
the booted foot that shot out to trip him up and throw him
sprawling to the wet pavement.
Qui-Gon broke his fall with the Force, cushioning his hands
from scraping against the rough pavement. He threw the cowl off
his head and glared up at the men surrounding him, then froze.
There was a sickle-shaped tattoo on each of their chins. The
sickle was the sigil of the Eri homeworld.
Their faces were set and hard, and in one black shining eye
there was a glint of savage pleasure. Qui-Gon realized he was
about to be attacked. How fortuitous.
"Well, well. Reminds me of the walla fish that jumped into the
net, boys. Look what we have here."
"And what is that?" Qui-Gon asked, dangerously quiet, not
rising, making no move to defend himself. He would wait and see
if there was an opportunity to be had. Personal safety was not
a consideration wherever the mission was concerned. And in this
case, he needed to understand a few things. Things that Obi-Wan
was not telling him.
One of the men, a short, muscular man with a thug's face and a
broken nose, nudged his side with his boot-toe. "A meddler."
Another nudge, this time from the right. "An outsider."
"Telling us our business." And the third attacker punctuated
the last word of his sentence by kicking him in the stomach.
Even prepared, the force of the blow was enough to double him
into a tight knot. Another kick sent him into a coughing fit,
the taste of bile rising in his throat. A boot to his temple
made him see stars.
It took every ounce of his self-control not to fight back. He
could have laid each of his attackers low within moments, but
then he would have nothing to show for it but unconscious men.
He needed talkative assailants. The Eri, he told himself.
Perhaps word of the visit he and Obi-Wan had paid to Bos had
gotten out. Perhaps Obi-Wan's threat had backfired? Or were
these simple malcontents angry with the lot that had thrown
them onto this Ramian backwater?
Dimly, he felt his arms grasped and he heard the leader of the
Eri bark out an order to stand him up, to brace him against the
stinking wall.
"Tell your little pet Jedi that we don't take to trespassers
coming into our colonies, getting chummy with the locals,
worming their way into the Clans, *threatening* us," a thick
voice hissed into his ear. He almost gagged at the stench
wafting across his face, the rotted breath of the leader. A
hand worked its way into his long hair, knotted the strands
around his fist and tugged at his scalp, shaking his head to
accent the accusations spewed at him.
"You tell pretty boy he better hope we never catch him outside
of Drey at night. Tell him to stay inside and hide behind
Drey's skirts, because that black uniform won't protect him
from what we've got planned for the snooping little bastard.
Who does he think he is? Pretending he's good enough to
threaten an Erian, sneaking around with the Guild rep on the
side... I wish I had him here right now!"
Even through the pain, Qui-Gon snorted. "No you don't. He'd
tear your-- ah!"
He almost doubled over from the blow to his midsection, was
yanked upright again by his hair.
"You Republic types from the inner worlds think you're better
than us. Well, we're citizens too, and we'll decide what's to
be done with our provinces, not you. Not the Republic. Not even
the Guild! Stay out of our business!"
And they began to beat him. Work-hardened fists found the soft
places in his belly, his shoulders, his face. A punch landed
square on his nose and he heard a wet *pop*. Warmth flowed down
his lips and chin and his thoughts grew muddy and confused.
He heard a scraping of steel on stone, and desperately tried to
summon his scattered faculties. The Force obeyed, but too late.
The steel bar crashed against his skull and his world went
dark... darker than Erian pollution on Ramian faces ... darker
than the poisoned black water of the swamps... darker than his
future without Obi-Wan...
He slumped to the pavement and his attackers flowed away into
the crowds like bugs into the woodwork, leaving him to the
mercy of the Ramian night and his own grim dreams.