Warning: the following story contains explicit sexual contents
and (possibly) m/m implications. STOP NOW if you feel offended
or you are a MINOR under 18.
Disclaimer: All hail the mightly LucasFilm and its attendant
minions.
Pairing: QG/OB (kinda)
Rating: NC-17 to R
Summary: The author brings the Master and the Padawan to Sexpo'
99. Based on a true story. ("Holy crap, I haven't never seen so
much bare skin!")
Alternative universe? : good question ...I am not even sure
myself! : )
Ki stamped her foot impatiently as she waited at the busport,
shivering in the wintry conditions (comprising of strong winds
and light rain). She cursed under her breathe. They were late.
Very late.
Two familiar figures appeared. One was very tall, his dark
robes draped around him easily. His long hair was tied back
neatly and his beard (trimmed) glistened under the lights of
the busport. The other figure was a little shorter but handsome
with short sandy hair nonetheless. His padawan braid fluttered
in the wind. Like the tall man, he was wearing robes. But they
were a lighter brown.
Yeah, 'nuff said about physical appearances. Ki was getting
furious.
"You are late," she glowered. "Look at the time!" She stabbed a
finger on her watch.
The taller man bowed slightly. "We have to apologise. We were
unfortunately delayed by a host of plot bunnies."
Ki softened. Mind-whammy or not, Master Qui-Gon Jinn was a
smooth talker. She smiled.
"Its okay," she shrugged. "I managed to get you tickets."
They reached the exhibition hall a hour later, waylaid by
several plot bunnies along the way. Ki sighed. The plot bunnies
were so nice; they offered them tea and biscuits.
But on with the show.
"Get your tickets out," Ki instructed the two men next to her
as they approached the entrance. Already they could hear the
throbbing techno music coming from inside. Two scantly clad,
bikini-ed girls batted their eyelids at the two robed men,
taking their tickets.
Neon lights and pictures of naked women slammed into them.
Visually, almost physically. Actually very physically.
"Welcome to Sexpo'99," the usher said politely, this time a
young man with well-sculpted torso and red Speedos. Ki noticed
that the young padawan next to her had eyes as big as
saucer-plates.
The trio strode in, the two men drawing curious looks from
people. Yeah, they had never seen Jedi before at a Health and
Sexuality exhibition before. Ki snorted, passing by a booth
selling flavoured lotions (100% natural).
"This is fascinating, " the taller Jedi glanced around, his
keen blue eyes picking out interesting stuff like dildos and
sexy lingerie.
Ki grinned with an evil twinkle in her eyes.
"Padawan, where exactly you think you are going?"
The younger Jedi paused, almost guiltily, in front of a
magnificent array of shiny vibrators. He quickly assumed his
best 'obedient Padawan' expression.
"Nothing, Master."
Ki could have sworn that he was blushing (which made him
totally fetching). Really, the young man looked too serious
most of the time.
They walked further into the main exhibition center which was
dominated by an impressive display of naked women and TV
screens showing more tits and arses. Ki looked around, seeing
more exotic sex aids which might have made the Maquis de Sade
smile in admiration. She opened her mouth to speak to her Jedi
charges ---
---And realized that they were not standing next to her.
"Oh Sith!" Ki swore and she scanned the area for lost Jedi (or
Jedi with minds of their own). She walked briskly down the
hall, past the "Kama Sutra" booth and Hot Hussy magazines. Oh
Sith, where can two Jedi go ?
She found them standing in front of the S &M shop.
"Hey, err ...Ki, " the Padawan asked as she stormed up to them.
"Don't disappear without my permission," she hissed with
a tone which nearby dominatrixes nodded with approval.
"I am sorry, " the young man turned solemn.
"Good, " Ki said quietly.
"Say, " the tall man smiled warmly. "Does this place take
Republic credits?"
"Qui-Gon, this place takes credit cards and cash. Not Republic
credits."
"Hummph," the force of his frustration was palpable, especially
to those who were Force-sensitive.
"Well, you are Jedi right?" Ki suggested with a wicked grin.
Sith, the spending capacity of two combined Jedis would make
shopaholics weep in defeat!
Ki huffed behind Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.
Yeah, next time, I will bring along a wheelbarrow!
In a short time, they creamed the entire place like a
Force-driven tornado. Nothing was spared. Dildoes, leather
whips and domination gear, chocolate-flavored body cream,
nipple clamps, vibrators.
Good Sith!
They paused in front of the Brazen Whores DVD stall. The
wide-screen TV was showing fast and furious frottage between
two nude women. They glistened as they moaned, shuddered with
pleasure as they came.
"Err, I don't think there are DVDs where you hail from."
Two pairs of bright blue eyes pinned Ki to the spot.
"We will get the DVDs."
"You will get the DVDs," Ki had a glazed look on her face.
The next thing she knew, the salesperson was putting something
into a plastic bag. Ki growled.
She was just about to open her mouth when the overhead speakers
burst out with "IT"S SHOWTIME!" Ki cringed. The noise was
enough to wake the dead.
"Hey, wait up ..." She ran after the two Jedi Knights.
The show was already on the roll when the three reached the
main stage. A nubile woman, wearing nothing but a G-string, was
gyrating about wildly, tossing her blonde hair everywhere.
There were a smattering of wolf-whistles as she massaged her
breasts seductively.
Ki twitched. The techno was getting to her.
She glanced at the two Jedis. Obi-Wan was snuggled up to
Qui-Gon who stroked the padawan's cheek gently.
A plot bunny bounced across her vision. Sith! With a low growl,
she batted away the cute little rodent (wearing something
suspiciously resembling a spiked collar and holding a tiny
black whip).
Humph.
The stripper did some virtually impossible gymnastic moves,
patting her buttocks. She backflipped back onto her feet and
bowed to the audience who showered her with more wolf-whistles.
Ki's Jedi charges were kissing passionately.
"OI!"
They parted reluctantly, holding each other's hands.
"I hate to spoil your party but I really have to go. Darned
Masters' thesis ..." Ki explained, going soft at the mournful
expressions of the two Jedis. "C'mon, we have to get going."
She handed bulging plastic bags over to them. "I promise to
bring you two next time okay?"
Their disappointment was so powerful that Ki had to grit her
teeth. Ahh, use the Force on me eh?
Oh Sith ...
"Okay, we can stay for a little while longer ..." Ki said
before she realized what she was saying about.
The two Jedis were off, merging into the crowd of
Sexposattendees. Ki stared at them, speechless. She comforted
herself by purchasing a plum/purple leather whip.
"So, did you two enjoy yourselves?"
Ki slumped on a parkbench, eyeing her Jedis charges critically.
"It was an eye-opening experience," Obi-Wan answered smiling.
"Good, " Ki yawned sleepily. She had a long day.
"Well, we have to leave now," the long-haired Qui-Gon bowed
courteously. "My most sincere thanks for your patience."
Ki smiled as the two Jedis headed off into the sunset, lugging
their purchases from the Sexpo. She thought to herself that
they made a beautiful couple ...
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