THREE ROADS, ONE DESTINY: Second Road

By MrsHamill and Master Yo-Gurt

Archive: By Master and Apprentice and StarWarsChicks, all others please ask.

Category: AU, Non-Q/O, Angst, Romance, POV, First Time

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Adult content and language. DANGER DANGER DANGER slash alert

Spoilers: Nah. We only wish this could happen.

Summary: This is the second part of a four part "prequel" of sorts to Jedi HMO. Just exactly how did this threesome come to be? This part is from Obi-Wan's POV, the next will be from Qui-Gon's.

Feedback: Please, we'll whine if necessary! Master Yo-Gurt at quigon_jinn21@hotmail.com and MrsHamill at thamill@mgfairfax.rr.com

Disclaimers: The usual stuff applies, yadda yadda yadda; you think we're making money off this?? That's what Mr. Hamill thinks too! Don't tell him, okay?

Notes: This originally had been intended as more plotless smut, but somehow, a plot (a nasty, large, FEROCIOUS one too) managed to creep in there and caused us much grief. Sorry for those looking for pure smut! Also, muchas smoochas and thanks to our beta readers, Silky (who came up with the title), Crysta and Linda! "We wuv you guys!"

Obi-Wan:

I never sleep well in space.

I don't know if it's the lack of the living Force around me or what, but I never sleep well between planets. Especially when I've come from such a cold planet as Hoth, and been away from my lovers as long as I have. Everyone teases me about my reluctance and aversion towards cold weather, but to be honest, I simply can't tolerate it and will continue to avoid it whenever I can. As for my family...

Abandoning my cabin in the middle of the shuttle's "night" (which mimicked Coruscant's), I made my way forward, thinking to sit in the co-pilot's chair and zone out on the starscape flowing by. To my surprise, the Guild Pilot was still up and sitting in his chair. I greeted him with a somewhat dour, "you couldn't sleep either, Pilot?" and sat down.

He grinned at me, a pleasant, youngish human whose home was the city-planet. "After a fashion, Padawan Jedi. Had trouble sleeping?"

I turned to contemplate the hyperspace flowing by the windows. "I'm afraid I never sleep well in space," I explained. "What about you? I'm sure you lack my discomfort."

"Well," he said, somewhat reluctantly, though his face still bore a stunning smile and his mental voice was singing happily, "to say truth, sir, my bondmate and I are expecting our first. She'll be born any day now, and this is my last mission before I start paternity leave."

So that's why he was radiating happiness and excitement. I smiled a genuine, if tired smile. "Well congratulations, Pilot, that's wonderful! What's her name to be?"

"Kahleeah," he said, flashing me another smile.

"A lovely name," I said agreeably, the hypnotic starscape beginning to relax me.

"Um, sir, if you don't mind my asking," he said after a slight pause, "but you live with Pilot Jae-Mil, don't you?"

I glanced at him, smiling to show the question hadn't bothered me. "Yes, my Master and I live with her, Pilot. Do you know Lia?"

"Yes, sir, we were year mates. We took robes at about the same time. She's a wonderful person."

"Yes, she is," I agreed, a spasm of longing shooting through me. "I'm very much looking forward to returning home to her. The three of us haven't been together in over a month, and it's beginning to get old."

"A month! Force, that's a bit harsh. Seems like the Jedi would be able to better accommodate schedules than that... not that I mean..." he seemed to realize he was not being very diplomatic, and he flustered a little.

"No, it's all right, you are quite right. This has been one of the longest separations for us. And I'm going to do my best to see to it that it's one of the last!"

He laughed at my vehemence. "I can certainly understand that!" he agreed. "Well, then it's good that we'll be coming in early. I was a bit concerned you might not want to be woken for a middle of the night landing, but..."

"That suits me just fine, Pilot," I grinned, stretching. "I imagine you're as eager to see your family as I am to see mine. When will we be leaving hyperspace?"

"Well, sir, normally I'd leave hyperspace about now, and arrive on planet at dawn. But since we seem to be on the same wavelength, I think I could arrange for us to be on planet within the hour. Is that soon enough?" His grin matched mine, and I agreed.

"Not nearly soon enough, Pilot! Very good thinking on your part, I must say. I'll go gather what's left of my things and be ready to disembark on your signal!"

So it was that I landed an hour after midnight, to an empty, quiet Temple. Wearily I made my way through darkened corridors to our quarters, sending my thoughts ahead to see who was home. Master Jinn's comforting presence was not there to my chagrin, but Lia's sleepy thoughts greeted me. She was asleep and dreaming, and I smiled. Thank the Force for small favors; I was beginning to miss my lovers very much.

Quietly I crept into our quarters, leaving my robe and small pack in the front room for later disposal. I had showered on the shuttle, so only needed to get undressed before slipping under the covers of the big, warm bed and nuzzling up against a soft, warm, fragrant being. She turned in my arms and gave me a sleepy, sensuous kiss. "Oh, Senator, you'll have to leave before Obi comes home you know," she said, her eyes never opening.

"It's not the Senator it's Yoda," I replied, kissing her back then tucking her under my chin. "And I've missed you, love. So much."

"Missed you too," she murmured, nestling into me. "You must be tired, you're not even hard," she said, before drifting back off to sleep.

"Um-hmmm," I agreed, slipping off into that peace that only Lia and Qui-Gon can give me, and joining her into slumber.

Being in my own bed made up for all the cold of Hoth. Holding Lia in my arms made up for all the loneliness of hyperspace. I slept seven hours and would have slept more except for a raging hard-on and the smell of warm muffins assaulting my senses. The muffins made my stomach rumble; the hard on, not to mention the mouth sucking on it, made me moan. I cracked open an eye to see the exquisite sight of Lia, as gloriously naked as I was, perched between my legs, lazily working my cock with her mouth. Her heavy breasts brushed against my legs every time she descended, and her teeth grazed the base of my cock with every deep throat movement. I moaned again, realizing that I wasn't far from coming if she kept that up.

Which appeared to be her aim. She must have sensed I was awake because she shot me a look of pure lust and mirth before shoving just about all of me down her throat and sucking hard. I wasn't very much into coherency at that moment, but I did try to warn her before I exploded with a choked shout, then moaned her name as she milked me dry. Gods she felt good.

There was no way I could move after that, but I didn't need to as she slithered up and draped herself over me. We kissed, deeply, and I tasted myself and some kind of fruit. I wrapped trembling arms around her very snugly form and squeezed as hard as I was able. "What did you say your name was again?" I gasped, trying to get my breathing back to normal.

"Name's No'ala and you owe me a hundred credits for the blow job," she said, making a long arm at something on the table next to the bed. "Here. Have a berry."

A large tart yet sweet fruit was popped into my mouth and I chewed appreciatively. "Mmmm, where did you get cavaberries at this time of year?" I asked, my voice finally back to normal.

"Oh, I regularly blow the fruit vendor in the plaza. He's very appreciative," she said, with a wicked gleam as she popped one of the berries into her mouth.

"If you're as good to him as you are to me I don't doubt it," I said with heartfelt sincerity. "However you got them, thank you."

"You're welcome, Obi-love. I wanted to give you something special now that we're both home for a while. Here's another one..." and this one was presented to me between very kissable lips, and it took me quite a while to get it, but I wasn't complaining. We swapped spit and berry juice for a while, while I re-mapped every contour of her beloved body with my hands. By the time I was ready for another berry she was purring in contentment.

I put my hands on either side of her head and pulled her up so I could look into those gorgeous golden brown eyes. "I missed you, Lia. I'm so glad you're home."

She smiled. "I'm glad you're home too. Now if we could just get Qui-Gon to settle down for a while..."

I groaned. "Yes, I so much wish he could be here with us. Blasted scheduling, I wonder who's responsible for that anyway! I flew home with a pilot expecting his first baby shortly, and when I told him it had been over a month since all three of us were in the same room at the same time he was aghast that the Council would do that to us. I had to agree. I want a muffin."

"Greedy gut. Here's your muffin, muffin." She rolled somewhat off me so that I could more easily eat the delicious, still warm, muffin she presented me. "Expecting his first huh? Must have been Jerle. His bondmate's Corla, and they make a wonderful couple. Did he say what the baby was going to be?"

"A girl. Her name will be Kaleeha, Kayleena, something like that. Very pretty."

She had the gall to roll her eyes at me. "Trust in a man to forget the name. Kahleeah. It was Jerle's mother's name."

"Well, if you knew, why did you ask?" I asked, polishing off the muffin.

Those eyes rolled again. "Because when I last spoke to Jerle they hadn't decided on sex, but had on names. Silly. How did you think?"

I just shook my head and chucked. "Too devious for me. I want another berry."

She grinned at me, a grin I knew far too well. "You have arms, get one yourself. I've spoiled you."

"Not nearly enough," I answered, grabbing three or four from the plate. "You know," I mused, popping one in my mouth, "these are good, but they're missing something. I know! A topping!"

She shook her head, laughing. "Sorry, love, we're out of whipped cream."

"Then I'll have to use some OTHER cream," I said, and that was the only warning I gave her before I pinned her to the bed with Force bonds. She giggled then turned it into a squeal when I pushed one of the cold berries up into her cunt.

"OBI! That's COLD!" she exclaimed, trying to wiggle against the force bonds.

"Then I'd better get it out, hadn't I?" I said, proceeding to do just that, with my lips and tongue. I know she was enjoying it when she pretty much lost all capacity for speech beyond gasping and crying out my name. I enjoyed several berries with that special slippery cream before my ministrations apparently sent her over the edge and I was flooded with that wonderful topping, which I lapped up hungrily. As an afterthought I released the Force bonds (they weren't very strong anyway) and her hands immediately went to my braid, giving it a sharp tug. "Ow!" I exclaimed.

"Get up here and kiss me," she growled. "That wasn't very fair, Obi," she continued, as I draped myself across her for a change.

"Oh, and waking me up by blowjob is?" I asked pleasantly, nuzzling into her neck and drinking in her scent and taste. "All's fair in love and sex, darling," I finished, settling myself deeper between her legs, letting her feel my eagerness to be within her.

"Ummm...is that another of Master Yoda's platitudes?" she asked, bringing her legs around me and locking her heels together at my lower back.

Gently, slowly, I buried myself in her heat and wetness. "Uhhhhh... no, I don't think he's ever said that," I gasped, "but then, he's never screwed you," I finished, barely, deep inside her and reveling in the feel of her again.

"And he never will if I...Ah!" she gasped, as I began to stroke her deeply.

"You talk too much," I murmured wickedly -- that's usually what they say about me -- and stilled her objections with a deep kiss as I continued to move in and out.

Lia calls me insatiable, Master Jinn says I'm a satyr. Whatever it is, it only happens when I'm with one or both of the people I love most in the world, but it is worse when I've been away from them for a while. I didn't need to report in to the Council, as I hadn't been on an important mission and they were aware of the fact that I had returned. Lia was on downtime, after too many missions. So, we just stayed in our quarters and I refused to let her get dressed. I don't think I was being unreasonable, given that we'd been separated for almost a month. And the fact that she had to sit gingerly for a few days after that I'm sure had nothing to do with any of my actions. Besides, I'd been through similar with Master Jinn, and was in fact expecting -- anticipating, actually -- the same when he returned. So I don't see the need for the barbed comments I got, it was just my Lia all over.

And besides, the next day, I did let her get dressed. Master Windu had called and we were expecting him very early.

Mace:

The morning after my dinner with Lia I received word that Kenobi had returned late in the night. Since that day was a rest day and his trip really hadn't been a mission, just a courtesy, the Council didn't require his presence. Which was probably for the good; it didn't take someone Force sensitive to realize what was undoubtedly going on behind the door to their apartment.

Besides, I had other things to think of, since Depa came to me with a request which rather surprised me. I'm not particularly good with children so why she wanted me -- and another Knight or Padawan -- to accompany her and a shuttle load of toddlers to Lescault I'm not sure. The little ones were bound for the crèche there, as our Temple crèche was full. How odd... our numbers had never been many but it seemed like we were suddenly bursting at the seams!

I've always known that Jinn's Padawan was good with children so I left a message at Kenobi's comm unit stating I would be by early the next morning with a request. I didn't expect him to refuse, and it was only a day, or rather, an overnight, trip so I didn't feel any guilt about sending him out again so soon after his recent return. My buzz at the door to their quarters was instantly met by an immaculate Kenobi... the apartment looked normal enough -- his cloak and pack were still by the door but otherwise things were neat -- but I noticed the doors to adjacent rooms were all closed, which caused me to smile to myself.

Lia came out of the kitchen as I entered, bearing two steaming cups of cha. "Good morning, Mace," she beamed, handing one cup to Kenobi. "How nice to see you again. Can I get you something?" She radiated love and contentment and I reflected again how lucky the two Jedi were to have her as a lover. She looked absolutely ravishing even at that early hour.

"No thank you, Lia, I'm fine, and I can only stay a moment," I answered her, smiling down at her. I could see by Kenobi's puzzled expression that she had not told him about our dinner the night before. "I realize you've just returned, Padawan but I need to request your presence on a brief... a very brief... mission."

Lia had settled herself on the arm of a chair as I spoke, then laughed a bit reproachfully. "Oh, Mace, you promised me he could stick around for a bit now! After all, I have so many chores for him to do!"

Kenobi choked a bit on his cha at that, and shot her a humorous look. "Now, Lia, this is really just an overnight thing. And I really do need someone with his special talents," I said, grinning at the two of them.

"Umm, I don't know if I like the sound of that," Kenobi said a bit defensively, and I had to laugh.

"Actually, Padawan, it's helping out Master Billaba," I said, relenting. "She's got 14 toddlers that need to get to the crèche on Lescault, and needed me and another to help her. I thought of you immediately, since you're so very good with children. You don't have to say yes, but I would appreciate it if you would come."

Lia's eyes got wide. "Fourteen toddlers? Better you than me, Obi. I get itchy around little kids."

Kenobi laughed and wrapped a loving arm around her shoulders. "You have such maternal instincts, Lia. Of course I'll go, Master. When is this trip?"

"Today, actually," I said, smiling fondly at the couple. "Could you be ready in three hours? And Lia, I promise to have him back to you, safe and sound, early tomorrow morning."

She looked lovingly at the man holding her shoulders. "I guess I can get along without him for that long. Maybe I can actually get some work done!"

We laughed at that, and I took my departure. From the waves in the Force behind me, I could tell that it didn't take them long to take advantage of the three hours I had given them. Ah, to be so young again, I laughed to myself.

Sure enough, less than three hours later Kenobi showed up at the shuttle bay, ready to help tame the monsters. For some reason, children are attracted to him and tend to use him like a climbing pole. I must admit, better him than me, and his gentle nature seems perfectly attuned to the task.

The trip was brief, we would be landing on Lescault in six hours, off load our precious cargo, then return for an early morning landing back on Coruscant. All went as planned and the trip was uneventful...as uneventful as a trip with 14 fractious toddlers could possibly be. Depa was quite grateful for the Padawan's presence as he managed to keep the majority happy and peaceful for the duration of the trip.

We unloaded at Lescault and managed to deliver all 14 with a minimum of damage -- to either us or them. Depa stayed behind, but Kenobi and I hurriedly returned to the shuttle to begin the flight back. I think he was a bit tongue-tied around me since it took some prodding on my part to get him to chat normally, but finally we quit circling and settled in the small ward room with tea to chat.

"Lia mentioned that you had had dinner with her the other night," he responded to my initial opening. "Thanks for keeping her company in our absence."

"Believe me, Padawan, the pleasure was all mine. You and Qui-Gon are very lucky to have such a wonderful bondmate."

He grinned that infamous Kenobi grin. "I know. And you're right, Master, we are lucky."

I leaned a bit closer, after sipping some tea. "Did she tell you what we talked about?" I asked, curious over what she had said.

He frowned slightly. "Well, no, she said you chatted about our bond, but other than that..."

"I'd be interested," I began, careful to keep my voice neutral, "in getting your version of events. You three interest me, how this whole threesome came to be. Do you think you'd mind talking about it?"

He didn't seem averse to the idea. "No, I guess not, but it's a long story, Master, and I don't want to keep you up..."

I laughed. "After a day like today I don't need to sleep. I'd only dream about being swarmed under by babies!"

He joined me in laughing at the image. "I probably would to!" he agreed.

Obi-Wan:

In thinking back about it, I realize I've probably been in love with my Master since I was about sixteen or so. We'd had the usual sex talk when I reached puberty, and I knew it wasn't unusual for Padawans to fall in love with their Masters sooner or later...most to fall out of love just as quickly. Mine never ended, I guess. Perhaps that's why I had such a reputation as a 'stud' by the time I was 18. I couldn't seem to stay with any one partner for longer than a month or so. I didn't realize it then, but I was looking for something, someone, and not finding it. I didn't quite realize that what I was looking for was a substitute for my Master, since I figured I couldn't have him.

So I drifted from relationship to relationship. Some, such as Lia's best friend Kath for instance, later became friends. Some did not, and those I regret deeply to this day. I know, from what others have told me, that I'm considered good looking and a "catch" among the Padawans, but this has never really affected me, and I can only hope it's because of the Jedi principles drilled into me by Master Qui-Gon Jinn. My passion, at least when I was younger, was not very serenity filled.

Then, at some party or other (there were frequent social gatherings among the Padawans in the Temple), while my Master was away, I met... or should I say RE-met, Lia. She grew up in the Temple too, I believe she was a foundling, but she wasn't Force sensitive. Since our training diverged when she went into the Pilot's Guild, I hadn't seen her since she was, oh, I don't know, ten, twelve or so. She was with Kath, and although I didn't recognize her right away, she recognized me.

It was like coming into contact with an open circuit, touching her. By the time I could think coherently again I felt bad about how I basically ignored Kath that evening. But I couldn't take my eyes off Lia. My reputation might be one thing, but the reality is something different. I'm usually more of a willing seductee than seducer, pleased to just go along with the flow, but with Lia, there was no doubt. I needed her! We chatted for the longest time, me making snide comments about the other Padawans and her laughing, then making her own. Every time I touched her, I felt my need grow, until finally I just kept my hand on hers, drinking in the attraction.

We went back to her tiny apartment and made love that very night, something I rarely do. I still remember it...I'd never had an orgasm like that in my life. It was literally like I was pouring my life into her, her screams echoing mine as I connected to her in ways I never knew existed. If I could have crawled into her skin I would have, my need for her was that great.

I looked down at her, once I could think coherently again, and fell into those rich brown eyes. Gods, she is beautiful... not in the classic sense, but in how she feels. When you make love to Lia, you really feel as if you're getting her undivided attention, that every atom of her being is concentrated on you and what you are doing. I wanted to tell her that, to explain how wonderful and awesome she felt, but all that came out was "that was... good." My, how eloquence eludes one at times.

She smiled up at me and once again I felt as if I were drowning. "Yes," she whispered, "very, very good. Do you always try to kill your partners on a first date?"

First date. That implies other dates. Which implies that I could be near her, doing this to her, again. Yes. Good idea that.

I wasn't due home that weekend, since Master Jinn was gone for three days to Malastare, involved yet again in a Trade Federation symposium. I'm sure she got sick of me hanging around her that weekend, but it was even difficult to go back to my quarters just to change. I needed to be with her, to be around her. She was a magnet and I was iron filings. We made love on every available surface, including her tiny dining table, over and over again, until we were simply too exhausted to move. I'm sure she was sore, I know I was, but already the thought of sleeping without her seemed unimaginable.

We DID talk, late at night, when we were finally content to simply hold each other. It was then, as it is now, easy to talk to Lia, she's a good listener. And we continued to talk over the following months, especially when we were in public and couldn't jump each other.

I remember when my Master came back after that weekend... I was a bit late returning to our quarters, for obvious reasons, and I must have been completely preoccupied. It didn't take him long to discern the reason, either. With his customary gentle amusement he asked me questions about my latest "conquest" (his words!), and I must have shown him more than I even realized I was feeling. The look he gave me that night was odd, and in retrospect, I suspect he was feeling a touch of jealousy. Of course, at the time, I never would have suspected it. I was completely convinced that he was beyond my grasp, in any way at all.

With my Master back, I resumed my usual schedule of training, classes and lessons with him, but whenever I could, I looked for Lia, tried to be around her. We made love in all kinds of unusual places, usually at my instigation, but nearly as often at hers. Looking back on it, we were damn lucky we weren't caught, especially that time we did it in the reflecting pool in the main Temple garden. In broad daylight! She was mortified that we didn't have the strength of will to keep from doing that, and I really felt the same way. It was like I couldn't control myself around her, and from all indications, she was having the same problem. Why it never occurred to me that something else was going on, I'll never know. I guess I was blinded by lust.

It was during this period that my true feelings for Lia slowly grew on me. At the beginning of our relationship, we had agreed (I had agreed with her, anyway) that there would be 'no strings.' We were each free to see other people, although neither of us did, and I could sense that she was reluctant to have a stronger or more committed relationship. Well, that made sense to me; I was similarly reluctant. We were both young (although she had several years on me), we were both apprentices aiming for a career in our chosen fields, we were both driven. And I was definitely falling in love with Lia Jae-Mil, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.

Then my Master and I were sent to Okkrand X, where a new Temple was to be built, to oversee the land purchase and beginning of construction. I was gone for over a month. It was really torture, even -- especially -- since I was in the loving presence of my Master. Lia and I had been together nearly every day for, Gods, almost a year, then to be separated. I'm sure my extreme horniness was noticed by Master Jinn with his usual dry humor... but what he didn't know, couldn't know, was that if I couldn't have Lia, then I wanted him. My feelings came to a head on that trip. It finally dawned on me that part of the reason I kept at Lia so much was she was a substitute for Qui-Gon. If I couldn't have him (and I really felt I couldn't) then I would have her. And then I was taken away from her! I grew up quite a bit in that month, at least in my ability to sublimate my desires into the Force.

Qui-Gon sent me home a day early, I'm sure partially because he was tired of having his horny Padawan jerking off twice or three times a day in order to stay sane (and to keep from jumping his Master). I was lucky; I got a fast transport back to Coruscant, and arrived just before the end of Lia's duty shift. I stalked her like a hungry feline until she reached the door of her apartment, then jumped her.

Oh, the welcome I received! We didn't even eat that evening, except each other. She drove me to the very heights of passion... all I wanted was to be in her, on her, kissing her, biting, licking, fucking her. Her body was my playground and I simply couldn't stop. Even in the morning, I think she was actually surprised, but probably pleased too, that I wanted her more than eating or bathing.

Making love to Lia in the morning is something not to be missed, and that morning I was not about to miss it. She has this habit of wrapping those legs of hers around me, squeezing and driving me into her harder and deeper, that makes me absolutely wild. But that morning, I could hold off a little, and took my time, enjoying every minute of her body, her little gasps and moans as I thrust into her slowly. We were slick with sweat and other fluids before I finally lost it and came; by then, she had had at least two orgasms and was hoarse.

And then, in the quiet glow while we came down and before I had to leave, she dropped my world out from under me. She knew. I couldn't believe it, not from someone who was not Force sensitive, but she knew of my feelings towards Qui-Gon. I remember being so close to panic, to crying, I didn't know how to feel.

"If you don't want to talk about it..." she said, rubbing my shoulders comfortingly.

I looked up at her, from my place on the bed next to her. "Are you sure you're not Force sensitive?" I asked, fighting back hysteria. "I can't believe you picked up on that without it."

She laughed. "Oh, I'm quite insensitive, I assure you," she said. We were quiet for a moment, and I could tell she was allowing me time to get myself under control. "How long, Obi?" she asked quietly.

I blew out a sigh. "As long as I can remember. At first," I said, rolling over and putting my hands behind my head, then smiling as she nestled on my chest, "I thought it was just hero-worship. You know, most Padawans develop that sooner or later. But it didn't go away. Gods. He's so, so..."

"Sexy," she filled in for me.

"Yes, sexy," I agreed, "and kind, and gentle, and warm, and, and... everything. He's everything, everything to me, Lia." My voice was getting thick again, so I stopped talking for a moment.

"Well, then," she said, softly yet deliberately, "why haven't you told him how you feel?"

I shook my head sharply. "No. I can't do that. He's my Master for pity's sake."

She seemed puzzled. "So? There are many Master/Padawan pairings... I don't see..."

"I know, Lia," I interrupted her, harsher than I meant to be, then softened it with a wan smile. "But I can't. He doesn't... I know, I'm sure he doesn't return my feelings. My Master is...special. If you knew him..."

"How can you be so sure, Obi?" she asked, gently. I knew she was trying to help, but she really wasn't. "How can you be sure you know how he feels if you won't tell him how you feel?"

I bit my lip. She was making too much sense, and I couldn't confront it. Didn't want to confront it. "You'd just have to know him to understand," I finally whispered.

We laid in silence for a while, companionable silence. It actually felt good to know that someone else knew of my secret longings, and I told her so. I knew, beyond all doubt, that she was the one person -- other than my Master -- I could trust in this.

Sweetly, she kissed my forehead. "You can trust me Obi," she said, "I swear it." Then, with a wicked gleam in her eye, she said all too innocently, "just do me one favor?"

I was beginning to dread that evil smile of hers, it always meant something bad was going to happen to poor old me. "What?" I asked, warily.

"Just don't yell his name next time I blow you, okay?" That's when I pushed her off the bed and tickled her senseless. Sometimes it helps to have the Force on your side.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Although I would have liked yet another rematch, I was mindful that my Master would be returning that morning, and that I would need to accompany him to the Council to make a report on our assignment. So we managed a stealthy trip through the Temple to my quarters, where Lia helped me at least seem presentable, then adjourned to the commissary for a large breakfast. We sat and shoveled food in our faces while our feet played under the table. By the time we had elevated our blood sugar enough to be coherent, we were able to talk again, and I took her hand.

"Lia," I began hesitantly, then paused. What did I want to say? That I was falling in love with her... HAD fallen in love with her, wanted to be with her day and night, wanted her... as badly as I wanted my Master. Oh, no, that wouldn't do. "I know we've said 'no strings', and I know this is not exactly what you want to hear, but I missed you. I really, really missed you."

She smiled back, but it was a hesitant smile. "I missed you too, Obi," and I knew she was telling the truth. But I also felt something else, a familiar presence entering the room. Perhaps it was for the best, I didn't want to say something that would hurt her, or us.

"So, Padawan," Master Jinn said, looming over our table, "this is where you've been hiding."

I swallowed my feelings, reinforced my shielding, and gave him my best 'impudent Padawan' look. "Uh, yes, Master, just... um... eating..." He caught the double entendre as I knew he would. Other Padawans think my Master is humorless, but I know better. His humor just takes a bit of getting used to.

And Lia caught the reference as well, and actually blushed! I laughed to see I caused such an unusual reaction in her, which made her glare at me, forcing down her own laughter. By that time, I was standing, and I tried to introduce them. "Master, may I present..."

But he interrupted me. "I know the Apprentice through her Master, Padawan. Enchanted, Apprentice Jae-Mil. I've heard good things about you."

My Master could teach a Correllian how to be suave. He took her hand as she stood, kissing her knuckles. I could tell that he was having the usual reaction in her...and for some reason I felt unaccountably jealous. She was obviously flustered and I tried to find the humor in the situation, plastering my famous grin on my face, but my brain had other ideas. Lia was saying something about how I always talked highly of my Master, and I felt a moment of panic. But I trusted her.

"That's peculiar, he never says anything like that around me," my Master said, laughing. "But I'll take your word for it, Cadet. I'm afraid I must remove us from your lovely presence though. Padawan, we're wanted in the Council, are you ready?"

I jammed my feelings behind my shields as I said, "of course, Master," and fell in behind him. "I'll call on you tomorrow, Lia," I added, as I turned to go, glad the scene was over. But she had other ideas.

"Actually," she said, coming after us a step. Master Jinn stopped and turned, shooting me a curious glance. "I was wondering if you two would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night. If you're free, that is..." she said in a rush, and I had another panic attack.

And she was struggling to contain laughter, I could feel it. I ruthlessly pounded down all reaction so that when my Master looked at me, I could appear to be the calm, stoic Jedi I so desperately wanted to actually be. I was certain he'd say no, but to my surprise he said yes! "What brought this on, Cadet?" he asked her.

"Lia, please call me Lia," she answered, then actually said "oh, I just want to score points with the other Padawans. Think of how envious they'll be at my having two of the most gorgeous Jedi at my table simultaneously!" And my Master actually joined her in laughter. Mine was a bit forced, and turned into a choking fit, causing Qui-Gon to pound on my back.

"What time shall we be there, Lia? And should I alert the media of our presence?" he asked, still pounding me on the back.

"Obi-Wan, are you all right?" Lia asked, still trying to contain her laughter. "How about eighth? Would that be okay?"

"Fine, I'm fine," I managed to choke out, as Qui-Gon agreed to the hour.

"We'll see you at eighth then, Lia. If you've recovered, Padawan..." and with that my Master turned and strode out of the commissary, expecting me to follow him like the good little Padawan I am.

All I had time for was a hissed "I'll get you for this, Lia!" before I literally had to run to catch up. I still couldn't tell if I was hysterical from laughter or fear as I managed to catch up to my Master, but I know my emotions were careening all over the place.

Qui-Gon shot me a slightly concerned, slightly puzzled look before we got to the lift that would take us to the Council. "Obi-Wan," he murmured, "your shields are not at their best."

Well, I KNEW that, and it took quite an effort to bite back a verbal retort. Instead, I sighed, fought a manly battle with my inner turbulence, found a semblance of my center and slammed up my shields with the force of a Calamarian hurricane. It must have worked, since he gave me an approving -- if somewhat humorous -- look as we left the lift and proceeded to the Council chamber.

The Council session was, as usual, fractious and draining. My Master seems to always know exactly how to irritate Mas... several Masters on the council, all the time. For the life of me I cannot see how he does it, for normally I agree with every point he makes. It must be in his fluid interpretation of the Code, but still...

I was actually glad for the frustration he felt in this session, for it diverted his attention from me and my problems -- with Lia, with him, with what Lia knew about him, all of it, and all of it exhaustingly frustrating. I meditated on those topics well into the night, after the long, tiring Council session, and as such slightly overslept in the morning. Master Jinn was gone by the time I dragged out of bed, but had left a note that he would see me for our regular sparring session that afternoon. So I dressed, and ate, and studiously avoided the places where I might see Lia. What would I say to her? What would I say to my Master?

Meditation can only be done for so long before it becomes an exercise in futility. It wasn't helping, and I could only hope that physical exertion might do what it could not. So long before First hour was over, I was at the gym Master Qui-Gon normally reserved for our use in the afternoon, stretching and doing fairly strenuous calisthenics. I was so caught up in my workout it took me a few moments to realize Qui-Gon was standing at the door of the gym.

"Obi-Wan," he said, both puzzled and amused, "don't wear yourself out before we begin. Why are you beating on yourself so?"

I walked to the small bench that held my towel and used it on my face and neck. He joined me, motioning for me to sit as he did. "Padawan," he said, his large hand warm and comforting on my arm, "you are not at peace and haven't been since before we left for Okkrand. I sensed you meditating long after we spoke and I retired for the evening last night too. What's bothering you? Is it your relationship with Lia?"

I let my gaze drop, and used the towel to hide my discomfort. Well, why not face a few facts and ask him for help, I thought, so slowly spoke. "Master, may I ask you... a personal question?" I could tell by the look on his face and the emotion coming across our bond that my question came as a bit of a surprise, but not unexpected.

"What is it, my Padawan?" Gods, his voice could stir me, send shivers up my spine even when he wasn't trying to be anything but solicitous.

"Master, Lia and I have been seeing each other for almost a year now," I started, then in a headlong rush tried to get the whole thing out before I changed my mind. "Yet she won't ... she won't commit to ..."

"To an exclusive relationship with you?" I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that he read me so easily, so I nodded.

"Yes. We do care for each other...but at the beginning she said 'no strings.' Master, I don't know if I can continue with that agreement. I...I think I might be falling in love with her." There. It was out, and it was the truth. Just a truth that I didn't much like.

Qui-Gon sat very still for quite a while, studying me. His hand never left my arm. I thought at the time that he was trying to choose his words carefully, trying not to show the amusement he felt over my pathetic little problems. Finally, he spoke. "Obi-Wan, she is young, she has a career to focus upon, just as you do. If it is meant to happen the Force will surely be guiding you two together. I take it this was the reason for your intense meditation after we talked last night."

"Yes, Master," I responded, sighing. "It hasn't helped."

"So." He continued to stare at me, and I continued to avoid looking at him. If I had looked at him, I surely would have lost what little control I had. "Then I also take it this is why you were doing your best to put yourself into a coma just now."

I grinned wryly, despite myself. "I think that could be said, Master. And that didn't help either."

"Perhaps I can help you achieve that goal, at least." I risked a glance at him, and was surprised to see so little amusement on his face, despite his droll response. Instead, his eyes were shadowed, hooded. I swallowed.

"I'm sorry to burden you with my problems, Master," I began, but he cut me off with a squeeze of his hand.

"Padawan -- oh, my Padawan, that's what I'm here for. Promise me you'll never hesitate to come to me with your problems," he said, his voice so sincere, so loving I felt a lump rise in my throat. He stood, urging me to stand also, then pulled me into a rough embrace, hugging me tightly and planting a kiss on my forehead. It felt so good, and I fleetingly wondered why it seemed we never hugged as much as we used to.

"Put your trust in the Force, Obi-Wan," he said softly. I heard his voice resonate through his chest by the ear pressed against him. Then he pulled me away and looked deeply into my eyes, caressing my cheek with one hand. "The Force will help you choose the right path, but you may have to listen carefully."

Apparently, one good thing about my confusion over Lia was that it brought me closer to my Master. It was so good to know that he cared for me, even though I thought he could never love me the way I loved him. We continued to look at each other for a moment, then with a slight shudder he wrenched himself away and picked up two Bos, tossing one to me.

"Well, failing all else, let me at least help you achieve your goal of being too tired to care, Padawan," he said, and his voice sounded peculiar -- with a hint of regret? But I didn't have time to think about it, as he was already coming at me in battle stance.

Sparring with my Master has always been one of my great joys in life. The Force flows around and through me, through us, enervating and relaxing me at the same time. We sparred for some time with the Bos, then moved to the Bo lay ying after only a short pause to rehydrate. I had mastered everything up to the twelfth form in this discipline, and felt confident as Qui-Gon pushed me hard. I must have done a good job because he was smiling as we finished the tenth form.

"I won't ask you to do more right now, Padawan," he said, getting his breath back. "I know you've been working on the higher sets, and I want you to continue to do so. Let's take a quick break and start on 'saber work for a short time. Then I'd like to see your progress on the higher level katas."

I groaned inwardly, and made a mental note NEVER to imply that extra exercise was either needed or wanted by me.

By the time we finished with our 'sabers, our tunics were drenched in sweat. To my surprise and consternation, Qui-Gon decided to remove his and begin ta'i ch'i clad only in his pants. Reluctantly, I did the same... all the sight of him did for me was make me more aware of his presence and how much I cared for him, how much I was attracted to him.

We worked, with and without the Bos, for a while as he assessed my skill level. The higher the form, the harder the kata, and the more aware of the close proximity of his body I became. This was becoming ridiculous; I had hoped exercise would tame my desires and confusion, not make them worse!

I stood under his scrutiny, as he walked around me, staring intently at the stances I took and the moves I made. Occasionally, he would reach out and correct a movement, his touch throwing me off for the entirely wrong reasons. At the fourteenth form, I boggled the step and came down wrong on my ankle, hissing at the sharp pain.

"Padawan, you must concentrate if you want to end this exercise with sufficient precision!" Qui-Gon said, his look quite stern and although not disappointed, he was definitely a bit puzzled over the difficulties I was having.

"Yes, Master, IóI'm not at my best today, am I?" I answered, rather grudgingly. How could I call myself a Padawan? I couldn't keep up with my Master because of the turmoil in my mind and my body. I was a poor excuse for a Jedi, that was for sure. I wanted him to be proud of me, even if he couldn't love me, but it seemed I was sith-bent on sabotaging that too.

"What is it, Obi-Wan?" asked Qui-Gon, his voice gentle and puzzled. He was obviously picking up on my distress, and that made it worse.

Oh, well. Time, I guess, to swallow my pride. "Master, could you please demonstrate this last move? I seem to be having difficulties with how to position the Bo correctly." The fact that I knew I needed help didn't make it any easier.

Qui-Gon appeared astonished to hear such a request, and that just made it harder. He and I both were used to my ability to pick up new katas fairly easily, and I could tell that he was a little disappointed. "Very well, Obi-Wan, let me demonstrate the correct stance."

He positioned himself right behind me, his chest touching my back. His arms were gripping mine, helping me to support the training staff. He then tried to step us through the kata, slowly, through our training bond showing me the steps as he moved our bodies through it.

But my concentration was not on the stances. Instead, it was torn between the marvelous feel of being in his arms, the ripple of muscle against my back, his breath on my hair, and desperately trying to shield my inner, personal thoughts from him even as I accepted his through our bond. My movements were slow and stiff, and not at all what he wanted out of me, which only increased my apprehension. Finally, as I sensed his growing frustration with my idiocy, I freed myself from his embrace and turned to look at him.

"Master, please, enough for today. I'm just too..."

"I've noticed, Padawan," he smiled at me. "Seems all the thoughts you have left right now dwell with that young woman and the dinner we'll have with her tonight."

I closed my eyes in defeat, and hung my head, a little melodramatically, but I would have done anything at that point to divert his attention from what was really bothering me. "You are right, Master, my thoughts were not on the exercise. I hope you'll forgive your poor, inept student!"

That earned me a chuckle, but then he increased my turmoil by gently taking my chin in one of his strong, large hands. He insistently moved my face up until I could look in his eyes. "Padawan, you have never been an inept pupil. Impatient, headstrong, and stubborn at times, but never inept."

That did it. The love, the gentleness in his eyes and voice completely undid me. Not even stopping to think, I reached up with one hand and drew his dear face down, close enough to give him a kiss on the cheek, very close to his lips.

Qui-Gon was clearly startled and let go of my face, but I could tell through our bond he was not displeased, just surprised. Well, I was too. I'm not sure what possessed me to do that, but I'm glad I did. "Thank you, Master Jinn," I said, "for all you're doing for me. I know I'll never be able to repay you for the kindness and love you've shown me my whole life."

"Obi-Wan," he said thickly, "it has been my pleasure. It has always been my pleasure." Then he smiled, a little sadly, I thought, and I wondered if he was picking up on my feelings through our bond, despite my best efforts to push them down.

We were treading on too dangerous ground here, and I was coming a little too near the truth. I was afraid ... afraid of the rejection I was almost sure would come from this wonderful man, afraid to lose what little he was willing to give to me as it was. I regained control of myself as I was hit by my towel and tunic -- thrown to me by Qui-Gon. I laughed shyly and walked over to him.

"I don't know how it could be a pleasure, Master, since right now I stink pretty bad!" I tried for light-hearted, and I think I succeeded, but wasn't too sure. Then Qui-Gon spoke.

"Well, Padawan, it must be payment for my services as your instructor," he said with a small chuckle, "but now we should be going and get ready for our rendezvous with your friend Lia."

Yes, Master," I answered, following him out to the showers.

* * * * * * *

Lia had outdone herself at dinner. I knew she could cook from our other evenings together, but to be truthful, I had never really paid much attention. Since I had skipped lunch and worked out especially hard, I was ravenous and the food, some kind of seafood pasta dish, was so good I barely spoke during dinner. My Master made up for my lack of manners though, and was lavish in his praise of the food.

Lia, on the other hand, was lavish in the attention she paid him. She could hardly take her eyes off him. Although not Force sensitive, she does have good natural shields and I couldn't read anything directly from her, but body language is the same pretty much across the board. They leaned towards each other, laughing a bit too hard at each other's jokes and quips. I didn't understand it, but what was more disturbing was that I found it hard to be upset by it. My lover was somehow attracted to my Master -- and vice versa -- and the only thing I felt was a vague disquiet. Where was the raving jealousy I would normally have felt? Had, in fact, felt earlier?

I finally managed to stop eating, mostly because there was no food left, and sat back in my chair, my stomach at least contented. Lia had a standard, single apprentice apartment, which meant it was tiny, and also meant that the dishes would have to be washed by hand. We were being genially argumentative over who would be stuck with the chore when I was beeped, to my surprise.

It was Master Yaddle, who happened to be in charge of the crèche that evening. Now, I'm the first to admit that I like kids, and for some reason they like me. Maybe it's because I've never really grown up, but that's just a guess. I've always cheerfully volunteered to help train the littlest, and they've always felt comfortable around me... sometimes, too much. A tiny little one, an amazingly Force sensitive girl from Nullam Three named Sola, had attached herself to me quite hard over the last few months and was asking for me. Seems she had a bit of a fever and was feeling poorly.

I was torn. I really wanted to go to Sola, but at the same time, I felt I needed to stay... as much to keep my Master and my lover apart as anything, which was absurd. Qui-Gon smiled and gently urged me to go, as did Lia, teasing me about the "other woman."

"I shall stay and help Lia with the dishes, don't worry Padawan," Qui-Gon said.

"And we're done here anyway, Obi. Go on, you big softie," she urged. I stood and made a production out of kissing her goodbye, figuring that I would not see her again that night, and went to the crèche.

Well, of course, it wasn't just a fever, it was Melegarian influenza, and of course I wasn't inoculated against it. Poor baby, Sola was really sick and simply couldn't go to sleep unless I and her beloved stuffed Wookiee were with her. When she woke up, she felt just a little better, still feverish, and I was beginning to feel like poodoo. Having her throw up all over me as soon as she woke didn't help either. That was, of course, when the healers informed me that I, too, had now contracted the disease and would have to stay with them for the next couple of days. Oh joy!

Qui-Gon was inoculated years ago and came to see me, bringing me some light reading to pass the time. I tried to apologize but he wouldn't hear of it. "Just get better, Padawan," he said, smiling as he sat on the edge of my bed. "The healers tell me you should be over the worst by day after tomorrow, but it can be dangerous if you don't stay down."

"I know, I know," I said, grumpy with fever and frustration, "I just hate being forced into idleness."

He smiled at me and laid his cool hand on my burning forehead. "You were always a poor patient. Remember when you were 13 and came down with Rigellian mumps? I was hard pressed to keep from infanticide."

I laughed despite myself. "My poor Master. I'm such a trial to you."

"Always, Padawan, always. And I wouldn't have it any other way." The fondness in his voice and eyes was unmistakable. But before I could say anything, he had continued, more briskly.

"Now, I know you'll be in good hands, but I can't help but worry about you... the council has asked me to go to New Coruscant on a critical errand. Seems they're desperately short of some antibiotics and nanoviruses and have requested Jedi presence to boot. You know if I could I would stay here with you..."

"No, no," I protested, even though my heart sank a bit. "I'll be fine. You go on ahead. You'll be back probably by the time I get out of this prison cell."

He looked at me seriously. "Are you sure, Padawan?"

"Of course, Master. I'm hardly a boy any more, and it would just spare you the sight of my hypochondriacal whining. How long can you be gone? Three days? I'll be out of here tomorrow."

"No, Padawan," he answered, laughing. "You will stay here! Two days. Minimum. I've talked to the healers too. And when I get back if I find that you've given them a difficult time, you'll be doing mediations on patience for a solid month."

I shuddered, and it wasn't just from the fever. "Yes, Master," I said meekly. "I'll be a good little Padawan. Why don't you request Lia as your pilot? Keep you company and you can get to know her better." Why I suggested that I have no idea, but at the time, it sounded like a good plan. Must have been the sickness. He looked at me a bit strangely, but made a non-committal sound before rising.

"I need to prepare then. Rest, Obi-Wan. I know it's difficult, but do it for your old Master."

He must have reinforced that command with a slight mental push, for I suddenly felt very sleepy. "Not old," I mumbled, settling back against the pillows. "Have fun.." I think I said, before I drifted off.

Well, it wasn't quite two days, but I didn't make a pest of myself either. I can be charming too, when I want something, some of the healers were quite taken by me. I felt much better sleeping in my own bed anyway, and knew enough to take it easy for a day or so, at least until my Master and Lia came back. Plus, I couldn't shake a vague, elusive sense of anxiety. I still wasn't any closer to telling Qui-Gon how I felt about him, and how it disturbed me to see him and Lia flirt with one another. I kept telling myself it had to be the sickness, I was feeling out of sorts with the Force and that was throwing me off. I kept telling myself that, but I never really believed it.

The day after that, Qui-Gon returned. It was late, I had already eaten and was sitting on the sofa in our quarters reading. He came into the sitting room with uncharacteristic slowness, head bowed and shoulders sagging. He briefly froze when he saw me, then moved to hang his robe on the clothes tree by the door. Almost reluctantly he moved to my side, touching my face in a hesitant manner.

I was alarmed, not only by the exhaustion on his face but by the fact that his mind was completely closed to me. I sat still, watching him come to me, unspoken questions in my eyes. His fingers lingered briefly on my cheek. When he finally spoke, his voice was rough and soft as though his throat hurt.

"You feel much better, Padawan," was all he said. I nodded in mute agreement, then watched, bewildered, as he shouldered his pack and went into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. What in all the Sith hells was all that about? I wondered. I thought the mission was supposed to be rather routine? I reached for him along our training bond... he was there, but distant, and continued to close me out.

Confused, hurt, worried, bewildered... I wanted to rush to him, to have him explain what was going on, but somehow the look on his face, his whole demeanor forbade any such intrusion into his privacy right now. He wanted to be alone? So be it.

I took several cleansing breaths and went to my room to meditate, to release my churning emotions in to the Force and find peace. I didn't find it. And by the time I had risen and dressed the next morning, he was gone; I knew he was in the Temple, but I didn't know where, and he had left no note.

*******************

I was up to doing some gentle exercises that morning, and took my limited workout with the other Padawans that afternoon, since I couldn't find my Master. It was obvious he was avoiding me, for what purpose, I had no idea. I needed to find Lia, to ask her just what had happened on the mission. Perhaps things had gone badly. Perhaps I didn't really want to know.

There was no answer at her quarters, and her Master told me she was on duty shift but would be off before supper. Acting on a hunch, I went to the commissary at dinner time to eat, and found her, sitting alone at an empty table, hunched over her food and doing a credible job of not eating it.

I was really becoming alarmed by then.

"Here I've been on my death bed and not only do you not visit, you don't even call me when you get back!" I said, with as much joviality as I could muster, as I sat down opposite her. When her face focused on me it was classic... a weak smile, eyes immediately returning to her plate.

"You don't look like you've been on your death bed, Obi, but I'm glad you're feeling better. Are you sure you should be up?" Her voice had none of the vivacious Lia I was used to. It was dull and hesitant and it made me absolutely terrified for some reason. But I did my best not to show it, and I think I almost succeeded.

"Oh, I'm fine, I escaped from the healers the other day. It wasn't all that bad... but I sure could have used a warm body to snuggle next to!" I tried for an engaging look, hoping for a response, but there was none.

"Well, I'm glad you're all right, I really am," she murmured, then began to pick at her dinner.

Time to take the bantha by the horns. "That must have been an interesting mission," I said, slowly, staring at her intently. "Qui-Gon has barely said five words to me since he got back, and now you're being awfully quiet. I thought it was a pretty routine thing. Did something odd happen?"

"No, not really. It was just...uh, routine." Yeah, routine, I thought... routine my ass. But before I could say anything, she continued. "I got you one of those "Force-sensitive" stones you like," she said, still not looking at me.

"You didn't have to do that, Lia, thank you," I said. "Maybe we should go to your quarters so you could give it to me?" I asked, then noticed something. A new necklace... on a person who very rarely wore jewelry. "What is that? A new necklace? I've never known you to wear jewelry much. It's lovely. Where did you get it?"

It was an innocent question, but she squirmed suddenly, obviously trying to avoid an answer. "Um, I got it off Coruscant, a while ago," she said, and I knew she was lying. Why would Lia lie to me? I leaned over the table to have a better look and suddenly got an extremely vivid picture through the Force. Qui-Gon. My Master had given her the necklace. "You got it from Qui-Gon! Didn't you?"

Abruptly she stood. "Obi-Wan, I'm really whipped, it's been a hard day..."

With one hand I caught her and pulled her back down. "Lia. Something's wrong and I'm not going to let you go until you tell me. Just what happened on that mission?" Even though she tried to pull her hand away from mine, I wouldn't let her... not until we had talked.

"Obi-Wan, look. I'm really tired, and I need..."

"No. For the two of you to be acting like this, something must..." The necklace. Qui-Gon. My mind was flooded with images, of her, of him... I let go of her hand in disbelief. "Lia, you didn't. Please tell me... you didn't." The look on her face! Utter misery. And something else. "Force! I can't believe this! You did!"

Now it was her turn to reach for my hand, but I wrenched away from her touch. "Obi-Wan, please! It was not as you might think. It was ... a spur of the moment thing, purely physical."

"You slept with Qui-Gon! With my Master! I can't believe it! I can't believe this is happening!" I ran my hand through my hair, almost panting with the overwhelming emotions coming from within me. Finally I looked back into her face. "So tell me Lia," I said, absolutely appalled, venom tainting every word I was helpless to stop emerging from my lips, "was it enjoyable? Did you have fun? Is that how you also would describe our relationship to others -- to HIM? As an enjoyable little nothing? Tell me, whose name did you scream when you came, Lia?" I knew my voice was steadily rising, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was on a run-away transport, and there was an open pit before me. Abruptly I shoved my tray out of the way, almost spilling it on the floor.

"Obi-Wan!" She was almost yelling, trying to get my attention. "We always agreed, no strings on our relationship, remember? There was a physical attraction between him and me. Nothing more!"

Why didn't I believe her? Why couldn't I just leave it, walk away? "Just physical, huh? Did you compare notes with him about me? Tell me, who screws you better, him or me? Huh? Tell me, I've really got to know!" I reached across the table and grabbed her chin, yanking her face towards me. "Tell me, Lia, what game are you playing and where do I fit into it?"

She could barely meet my eyes. I felt nothing but anguish and anger as I stared at her, trying desperately to understand what was happening. She put a trembling hand on my wrist and hissed at me. "Obi-Wan, stop. You're making a scene. We need to step back here and just calm down."

"Calm down? Calm down! I don't think I want to calm down, Lia. What were you possibly thinking?!" I was almost in tears, trying so hard to control, to force back the emotions threatening to completely overwhelm me.

That must have broken through to her, for suddenly she wrenched her face from my grip, staring at me with icy, angry eyes. "And what are you thinking? Who are you jealous of here, him or me? Who's first in your thoughts, Obi-Wan? Tell me that!"

We both sat back hard in our chairs. How could she? How could I? How could he? I have never been so angry in my entire life; I pray I will never be as angry again. It was frightening, the desperation I felt. It had to have an outlet, and I found it in my Master, the one who I felt had betrayed me the worst. I closed my eyes.

"That... that bastard!" I almost sobbed. "He's got some explaining to do NOW!" Abruptly I stood and stormed out of the room.

I heard her cry my name as I fled the dining hall, but I couldn't face her, wouldn't face her. My whole being was focused on one person, my Master. I stopped briefly outside the door, casting about for the thread of my bond with Qui-Gon, and then unerringly turning, letting the Force guide me to him. Lia followed, but in the state I was in I could have cared less.

Finally, I found him. He was sitting in the peace of one of the Temple gardens talking with a Knight I didn't recognize. He could have been talking with Yoda for all I cared... I just wanted him to realize how much he had hurt me and if I had to burn down the Temple to do it I would have. I strode straight up to him and bounced on the balls of my feet, interrupting their quiet conversation with my frantic voice. "Master, I need to speak with you -- NOW!" With supreme effort, I managed to add, "Please!"

"Obi-Wan?" He wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't look at me. He knew why I was here and he was trying to avoid a confrontation. "As you can see, I am busy. Has your meticulous sense of timing failed you once again?"

So, he wanted to avoid a confrontation? That only added fuel to my fire. A confrontation he would have... I would have. One way or the other. "Master, I apologize for the intrusion, but I need ..."

"You need, Padawan?" I recognized that dangerous tone in Qui-Gon's voice. "Obi-Wan, I am in a conversation with Knight Bo'Narr. I will talk to you when I am finished, not before. You are excused."

I saw him look beyond me, presumably at Lia who I knew had followed me. No matter. I didn't care who was around, this unfamiliar Jedi or Lia or even half the Council, I would have it out with him, one way or the other. "Qui-Gon ...", I started, but as soon as I spoke I realized it was the last straw for him.

"That is QUITE ENOUGH, Padawan!" Qui-Gon stood, drawing himself to his not inconsiderable height so that he towered over me. His voice rose several decibels. "Whatever it is you wish to discuss with me ..."

The Knight, Bo'Narr, apparently had had enough of our little scene. She stood as well, almost stuttering in her haste to leave. "Master Jinn, I think I better be going. I-I have some duties to attend to." Qui-Gon turned back to her and extended his hand, gently taking hers and kissing it. As the Knight beat a hasty retreat, I suddenly felt a surge of rage from behind me... from Lia! My astonishment that this could happen was overcome by my uncontrollable need to attack my Master. It was obvious Qui-Gon was as much fighting for control as I. I began pacing in my need to work off excess energy. I was seriously becoming afraid I would do something stupid but I simply couldn't stop.

"Padawan, what is so pressing on your mind that you had the audacity to disturb my conversation in such a manner?"

I stopped pacing and faced the man I loved more than anything in the world. "You slept with her! You took advantage of Lia -- of me!"

"Is that so? She told you then?" He looked beyond me, not in anger or disgust, but in sadness, at Lia who I knew was hanging back, sobbing in turmoil.

"She didn't have to tell me, Master, I could feel you in her mind. Why?"

Finally, finally he met my eyes. What I saw there devastated me. I had hoped, beyond reason, beyond sanity, that what I knew to be true was not, that he and Lia had not committed this treason to me. One look into those dark, tortured, angry eyes confirmed everything. We stood frozen for a moment, each feeling the others fury and anguish, then he spoke in a low, choked, furious voice. "We are taking this inside. Now." Without further words, he strode past me towards our apartment. I followed directly on his heels.

Lia tried to grab my arm as I passed her, but I brushed her off. "Go away, Lia. Haven't you done enough for one day?" I asked her bitterly, turning away and following my Master at nearly a run.

I heard her tear choked voice behind me, wailing, ripping at my heart. "Obi-Wan, I can't let you do this to yourself and him. I can't see you two as enemies just because of me!" I wouldn't listen, I wouldn't, I couldn't, and I trotted down the corridor, away from her as fast as I could.

I reached our quarters shortly after Qui-Gon entered. As I came inside, he shut the door behind me and keyed the privacy lock. Then he turned to look at me and I gasped. I have never seen him so -- distraught, emotional, so nearly out of control. I began pacing furiously again, trying and not succeeding to release my anger into the Force.

"Padawan, you have a grievance with me?" he said, obviously struggling for control as much as I.

I stopped pacing long enough to breathe as deeply as I could. It didn't help. "You know only too well what you did, Master," I said, my voice loud, definitely not deferential as normal. "You made love to Lia knowing she and I are together. Why?"

He briefly closed his eyes against the accusation. "Yes, Obi-Wan," he said, his voice low, "Lia and I have been intimate with one another. It was... not something we had much control over, neither she nor I could..." I took a step closer to him and interrupted.

"The great Master Jinn had no control? By the Force, my Master, who hammers control into me at every opportunity, tells me he simply 'lost it'? How is this possible? Please, Master, explain to your poor, naïve Padawan how easy it is for Masters to break the rules... I don't understand how you could do such a thing!" by this time I was almost screaming, the pain was so agonizing.

"I am not subject to your rules, Padawan," Qui-Gon retorted, his voice raised in an anger I had never heard from him before. "It is not your place to tell me what I can and cannot do!"

"My rules? MY rules? What about the rules of common decency? What about a Master not screwing around with his Padawan's girlfriend? What kind of Master are you anyway?"

Utterly furious now, he practically roared at me. "One that perhaps should never have taken you as my Padawan in the first place!"

I wasn't prepared for this cut, the deepest one of all. I began to pace again as he turned away and I couldn't tell how much he meant it, if at all. This was going too far, but I was completely helpless, in the grip of my anger and hurt.

Fine, I thought maliciously, two could play at that game. "Well perhaps not then! Perhaps I should just go to the Council with this little indiscretion, and request a better Master than you!"

The pain in his eyes only gave me satisfaction. He stopped my pacing with a hand to my shoulder, and tried to speak, but by then I was beyond his pointless gestures. I screamed at him, saying aloud that which I was thinking.

"You flaming BASTARD!"

Before I knew what was happening, his hand swept up to meet my face in a vicious backhand that connected with a resounding smack. We flew apart, my hand to my stinging cheek, him stumbling back, looking at his hand in shock and disbelief. Never, never had my Master hit me. Never had he raised his voice or his hands in anger to me. Until now.

I felt him desperately try reach to me through our bond, but I closed him off, just as he had closed me off earlier. We stood in silence and pain for a moment, staring at each other. "How could you do this to me?" I finally whispered.

He sank to the floor, the very picture of abject misery, and hid his face in those large, gentle hands. Hands I had dreamed of caressing me, not hitting me. His shoulders shaking, I heard him choke out, "please, Obi-Wan, forgive..."

My arms longed to embrace him, to comfort him, to soothe, to forgive. I wanted nothing more in the world than to hold him and be held by him, to have all this be nothing but a bad dream. To tell him how much I loved him, needed him. But the twisted agony in my heart simply wouldn't let me. "You want a different Padawan? Go ahead. I doubt you'll find someone who will allow you to screw his lover behind his back." My heart bursting with torment, I swept past him and ran from our quarters.

I almost expected to find Lia, or even a crowd, outside the door to our quarters, but the corridor was empty. I flew aimlessly up and down hallways, and one time my feet automatically tried to lead me to Lia's quarters. Her own misery was echoing in my heart as well and in my pain and confusion I wondered how this was so. I forced myself to turn around and walk as far away from her apartment as possible.

Finally, I found myself in one of the smaller, lesser used meditation gardens. By then, it was full dark, and I used a combination of the Force and the Coruscant light pollution to guide me to the edge of a bubbling fountain surrounded by soft grass. There, I threw myself down and sobbed until there were no more tears left in me.

My nose stuffed, my throat raw and my eyes puffy, I rolled onto my back and watched the artificial satellites overhead while I tried to find my center again. It wasn't there. I was as empty as space, a void of echoing loneliness. How could this be? What had happened to me to so rip me away from myself, from my Master, from Lia? Even the Force was removed from me, and I began to despair, tears that I thought I had finished with filling my eyes.

"Sometimes difficult to find it can be, your center," a gravelly voice suddenly said from my elbow, startling me. A diminutive dark form squatted next to me on the grass, aimlessly tracing patterns in the grass with a stick.

"Master Yoda," I gasped, trying to struggle to my feet. I could not, and I recognized his gentle command of the Force holding me back.

"No need, Padawan, stay there you will. Easier to talk this way it is, hmmm?" In the dark, his large eyes almost glowed with a spooky light as he stared at me. "Your center you are missing. Difficulties you are having, yes."

I confess to often misunderstanding the small green Master. His mode of speech can leave a lot to be desired, and his sense of humor is extremely odd, to say the least. At this point in time, I couldn't tell whether I was relieved or embarrassed to find him sitting next to me. The tips of his ears drooped ever so slightly as he regarded me, and I felt a wave of sympathy and love wash over me. A hard, tight knot in my stomach suddenly loosened with that wave, and I began to tremble ever so slightly. At the same time I felt him gently probing my mind, and I put up no resistance. If anybody could help me figure out my feelings for those two people I was apparently in love with, it was this old Jedi Master.

"Master," I whispered, "what am I to do? What is wrong with me?"

One hoary green clawlike hand reached out and took my hand with extreme gentleness. "Nothing wrong with you there is, Padawan, but hiding your feelings for your Master, that is wrong, know it you do, yet afraid you are."

Yes, I was afraid -- of Qui-Gon's rejection. I heard a little disappointed sigh next to my head.

"Qui-Gon, well he has taught you, too well unfortunately. Hiding he is from his feelings, just like his Padawan."

I stirred slightly and he let me prop myself up onto my elbows. "Master Yoda? You mean to say he... he has..." He didn't let me finish and impatiently drummed his walking stick onto the ground.

"Yes, yes, Padawan, search your bond with him you must, open yourself to him you must. Look inside, not get confused by the outside appearance of things."

I still didn't quite understand what he was saying. "But Master, if he cares so much for me, how could he betray my trust in him with Lia?" My hurt was self-evident.

"Agree I must with you, unfortunate the circumstances are with her. A strong bond with you she has, Padawan, but also with Qui-Gon. Unavoidable, yes, that is what it was. The three of you, one bond you have formed. Deny it to yourself and hurt you will the other two." He looked thoughtfully to the stars. "Long it has been, a bond such as this, but unheard of it is not... and danger there might be." He trailed off silently for a moment.

I didn't even hear that last part I think, I was too involved in straightening out my own little world that was so utterly in chaos.

"But I still don't know why my Master never told me," I got frustrated with Master Yoda, all his talk about this three-bond thing was hard to understand, especially with my emotions running amok.

"Think Qui-Gon out of stone is made, Padawan? Think you I can not read my own apprentice when troubled by conflicting emotions he is? Yet stubborn he is, always has been, and stubborn you too are, humph! Not approve of it I do, and stop you from foolishness I can not." I looked at him and saw his ears sagging a bit.

"Seek your center inside you, you do, where always it has been," he finally continued, "it is not there. Seek now, outside. A new center you have, I sense, one that is greater than you. Open to the Force, your mind. Where you have not looked, seek your center there."

"I -- I don't understand," I said, confused.

"With me, meditate, Padawan," he only said, closing his eyes but not taking his hand from mine. I drew enormous strength and comfort from that touch, enough to allow me to calm my mind sufficiently for meditation.

And there was the Force, waiting for me, wrapping me in familiar strength. I nearly sobbed in relief, then allowed that, and my anger, my anguish, all my fury dissipate like fog into the all enveloping Force. I took it all out, one piece at a time, and examined it dispassionately, clinically, aware as I did so that Master Yoda looked on over my 'shoulder' approvingly, and released it all into the Force. There is no passion, there is serenity, and the serenity I had been denying myself since all this started slowly flowed back into me.

I took a deep, cleansing breath, then another, and another. Peace flowed into me like a river, and I let it carry me along, then opened my eyes.

"Good, good," I heard from my elbow, and smiled gently. "Now, find your center we will. Know it is there, you do. Reach for it, you need not. Look."

I closed my eyes again, and did as I was bid. And there it was... not inside me, just as Master Yoda had said. It was without. It was with Lia and my Master. My center, my soul, and theirs, swirled around and about each other, like an eddy in a deep, vast sea, forming a perfect structure, three pieces to a whole. I gasped at the beauty of it, amazed and awed that I could be a part of something so magnificent, so perfect.

Master Yoda's voice sounded in my head. "Deny this you cannot," he said, gently. "Part of you, they are, part of them, you are. Understand you now?"

"Yes." I just lay there for a while, reveling in the feel of this strange new thing I had discovered. As I examined it, however, my joy became tempered with sadness. I could sense the other two pieces of me were hurting, we were hurting, and it had to stop. I could stop it, and I would. I would now.

I opened the eyes I had closed and turned my head to tell Master Yoda what I was going to do, but he had already gone. By the look of the sky and my inner time sense, several hours had passed, and my discomfort from crying had disappeared. I stood, stretched, and realized I was smiling in contentment, so much so my face hurt. I turned and hurried back, to my Master.

I found him in our dark quarters, on his meditation mat, his head bowed in dejection. By the ravaged look on his face, he had gone through at least as much as I had, perhaps more, and was still in pain. Standing in the doorway, staring at him, I felt a brief stab of the anger I had felt earlier, over what he had done to me, to us. But the anger had no hold over me now, that I understood the situation better. I released it to the Force, allowing calm and love to once again flow through me.

Slowly, I moved to his mat, and took up my favorite meditation pose opposite him. He did not look up at me, but I knew he was aware I was there, perhaps expecting me to begin recriminations again. The time for that was past. What was done, was done, it was time for us to move on. "Master," I said, as softly and gently as I could, pouring all the love I had never acknowledged before into my voice. "I am so sorry about what I said to you. Please, Master... Qui-Gon, please believe me."

He wouldn't look at me, but through our training bond -- and somewhat through the new bond -- I could feel his anguish. "Obi-Wan," he sobbed quietly.

Time to try and reach him through the strange, new bond I had discovered. Tentatively, gently, I reached out to him. //I love you, Master! I love you with all my heart //

Abruptly, he met my eyes, shock and wonder widening his own. //Obi-Wan?// I heard him say, amazement coloring his mental voice as he realized what was there in him and me. I grinned in sheer exuberance as I felt him test the waters.

//YES! I am here, Qui-Gon, I love you, I love you, I love you // I couldn't say it enough, so I repeated it out loud, touching that dear face and wiping away the tracks of tears. "I love you, Master, Qui-Gon, I love you."

His lower lip trembled. //Obi-Wan? How... Lia?//

I took his hands. "She is in here, with us, it's aóa bond with us. The three of us, Qui-Gon. Your reaction was because of your deep feelings for me, for her, I realize that now." I lowered my voice and moved closer to him. "I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn! And I love Lia, and I know that you love Lia, we both do! We have developed something unique, something very special."

"A bond," he said, eyes wonderingly searching my face as his hands caressed my cheek. "I felt it, I believe, but didn't understand it. How is this possible?"

I laughed, losing the last of my tension as I did so, and then had to laugh again in delight as I saw the weariness and fear leave his face at my laughter. "I don't know, I don't know, but it's there, Master Yoda helped me see it."

"Yoda! You went to Master Yoda?" he hesitantly asked, not taking his eyes off me.

I looked down, unsure how to answer. "Yes, Master, but it was ...it was him finding me rather than the other way around." I told him how Master Yoda found me in the garden; how he immediately seemed to know where the problem lay. How I was shown and made to believe the unbelievable. How I came to know of my love, to realize my center, my heart. "I love you, my Master," I finally whispered.

His face lit into the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile I've ever seen. "And I love you, Obi-Wan, my Padawan," he said huskily, then leaned forward and kissed me.

Oh, that kiss! Hot and needy, it was the culmination of all my years of fantasy and yearning. When he drew away, I know my face must have been as stunned as his.

"Obi-Wan, I love you! I think I have for years, ever since I took you as mine to train, ever since you became a young man, ever since ..." My heart filled to overflowing with joy, I stopped his words with my lips, demanding and receiving entrance to his mouth, telling him without words to shut up that I understood and I loved him, wanted him too.

Somehow, he managed to pull away enough to talk out loud. "Obi-Wan," he whispered, taking my hand and kissing it, "let's not rush things. I've hurt you terribly, I don't want you to feel used by..."

He stopped, and through our new bond I could feel him choking on his words, words that were so hard for him to say. "Used by you?" I asked sadly. "Just as you still believe you used Lia?" I felt the shame still within him, shame from what he thought was a betrayal of me, of Lia. "Master, my dearest, darling Qui-Gon, please, I understand the situation now. I know you never used Lia, nor will you ever use me, nor I you." I sighed and leaned forward, letting our foreheads come to rest on each other.

After a moment, Qui-Gon shifted and pulled me into a tight embrace. I could feel his body shaking with reaction and need, the need to complete our bond. But there were still issues to be resolved. "Why didn't you ever talk to me about how you really felt, Qui-Gon? About your needs, your wishes?" I asked him gently.

He sagged a bit in my arms, but I could feel that was a question he had asked himself many times over the last few years. It was out in the open now, I told him through our bond. //The teacher becomes the student // he thought wryly, and I could feel him answer my question by releasing years of pent-up frustration into the Force.

"Obi-Wan, my Padawan... I love you. I think -- I think I have always loved you." He swallowed. "I let my fear, of you rejecting me, of the difference in our ages, all of it, I let it blind me to my heart, to our true path." He paused and took a deep breath.

"The bond is true."

He said it and I accepted it.

We stood together, still locked in an embrace. I pulled back long enough to look into his eyes, to show him without words how much I wanted him. I could feel through his pants how much he wanted me, his erection mirrored mine. He put one hand on my chin and drew me closer for another kiss, this one even more passionate than the last. One of us moaned, and the way we felt I could not tell which of us it was or even if it was both.

Through the strange new bond I felt his hesitation, his reluctance to take the initiative, just in case it was not my wish. As if it wasn't! But I could, and would take the first step, knowing, finally, how desperately he wanted me and finally able to show him how desperately I wanted him.

I stroked his face with one hand, looking deeply into his eyes. //Master, wouldn't the bedroom be more appropriate?//

//Yes, my Padawan, it would be more ... comfortable // was his reply.

Finally, finally, I was where I wanted to be, alone with my Master, the most wonderful man in the universe, ready to make love to him, to have him make love to me. There was nothing that could have stopped me by that time, I wanted him and I wanted it to last, I wanted it fast, slow, hard, soft...I wanted it forever.

We made our way to his bedroom and I gently began undressing him. Every inch that became visible to me was like a gift; I ran my hands over his skin caressing every square centimeter, pushing his tunic from his shoulders and tracing every scar above his waist. He watched me, his eyes hot and needy, and then tried to mimic my movements. I let him remove my belt before gently but firmly stopping him.

"No, not yet, Qui-Gon, please. Let me have my fun with you first," I begged him softly. He closed his eyes in response and sighed... I could feel his arousal building and felt awed that I was the cause of it.

I began kissing and licking his neck and shoulders, reveling in the taste and feel of his skin beneath my tongue and lips. Slowly, I moved to his chest, stopping at each nipple to swirl around it and suck each bud to erection. I heard his heart hammering in his chest and felt his raspy breath; his hands were clenched into fists and his skin tasted of the sweat beading from his intense pleasure.

One of his hands slowly unclenched to come up to the back of my head to run through my hair, holding my mouth in place over one of his nipples. I sucked strongly, feeling him shudder as I did so, and feeling the hand in my hair unconsciously tighten. Then I moved down his abdominal muscles, licking at each ridge before reaching the waistband of his pants. By then I was on my knees before him. His hand pulled me closer to rub my cheek against his erection through the thin fabric of his pants, and I heard him softly murmuring my name as if it were a prayer. One look up at his ecstatic face caused me to stop, I wanted him so badly! I stood before him, breaking his grip on my hair.

In a choked voice I heard him practically beg, "No, Obi-Wan, please don't stop now!"

"Master... I won't, I couldn't..."

"My name, Obi-Wan, I love it when you say my name!"

"Qui-Gon," I whispered, running my hands through his hair and looking deeply into his eyes for a long moment. Not taking my eyes from his, I deftly opened his pants while maneuvering him back against the bed. Holding his hips I lowered him down to lay on his back, legs and feet dangling over its edge, then mentally asked him to raise his hips so I could finish moving his pants down to pool at the tops of his boots.

"Beautiful, so beautiful, Qui-Gon Jinn, I love you so," I murmured, reluctant to let my eyes stop feasting on his body. I laid down next to him on the bed, stroking, tasting, feeling the exquisite texture of his skin, drinking in his scent, memorizing every sensation. His hand came up to the back of my head and gently moved my face nearer his so that he could kiss me, a kiss I sank into gladly with a feeling of coming home while my hands continued their exploration of his body.

I moved from his mouth to his soft beard, nuzzling it with my nose, then further down to nip at his earlobe and to swirl my tongue around the shell of his ear. Every time my hand moved near his groin he thrust his hips, almost unconsciously, but I studiously avoided his rigid, weeping penis, wanting to let the pleasure continue to build as long as possible. I traced and caressed all the lines of his body, licking and kissing every finger to the callused pads, burying my face in his chest and inhaling deeply of the fragrance that was so distinctly his.

But I couldn't make it really last, there was no way, we had waited far too long for this. I found myself dragging my mouth down his body until I reached his rigid cock, his voice babbling incoherently as I tasted him, my hands warm on his thighs as I held him down, kept him from thrusting, his hands in my hair, on my face, fisting the bedclothes as he arched against me, frantic for release.

"Obi-Wan!" he cried out, as I began to lick his testicles and the sensitive flesh of his perineum. Not just him, but I too was coming close to the edge, with the knowledge of how close he was, how much he was enjoying my ministrations, how wild I was driving him. I drove my tongue back up the length of his cock, mentally asking him to look into my eyes as I did so.

"My love?" I asked, I whispered, and watched his eyes darken with desire and emotion at those words. "Do you want to come now?" I asked, almost playfully, running the tips of my fingers up and down his shaft.

He was almost completely without words, his vaunted control ragged to the point of being nonexistent at that. "Oh yes, Obi-Wan, yes, please, I want to, please let me come!"

I had a tight grip on the base of his cock, preventing his orgasm, and with those words I released it and immediately swallowed his penis whole, sucking strongly. The time for teasing was past. He howled, his body shivering uncontrollably, hands clenching the bedclothes, and arched his back as he came, roaring my name. I swallowed as much of him as I could, but some spilled onto his belly as I milked him for all I was worth.

"My Obi-Wan," he whispered possessively, sending shivers down my spine as I watched his face go slack from pleasure. One trembling hand reached for me and I moved to his side, burying my face in his neck then kissing him deeply. He was still slightly out of breath and his voice was husky as he whispered to me. "I want you inside me, my Padawan -- do you want that, my love?"

It was my turn to be overcome with emotion at his use of that word and his request. "Yes," I murmured, "I would like that very much."

Between the two of us, we finished undressing, until we were both naked on the bed, pressed against each other, tasting each other's mouths and skin. He copied my earlier strokes on my body, feeling me, touching and tasting me, pushing me higher until I felt my whole body was one vibrating, tautly stretched wire. It didn't take long for his own penis to re-harden, and I felt gentle amusement at the faint surprise he felt over that event.

For a while, I simply held him, kissing his lips and tasting his mouth, while his hands wandered over the skin of my back, belly, thighs and cock. It was my turn to completely lose control, to moan and spout nonsense over the sensations he was causing in me.

Finally, I knew I couldn't take much more. With a supreme effort, I pushed away from him slightly, wetting one of my fingers in my mouth as I gently turned him onto his back. Slowly, carefully I probed at the entrance to his body, gently pushing my slick finger into his rectum.

I prepared him as carefully as I knew how, easing open his tight passage as slowly as I was able, given my intensely aroused state. My probing was accompanied by his moans and small cries of pleasure

"Padawan, I love you, so much," he groaned, taking my free hand in his, dragging it to his mouth and kissing my fingers gently.

"My love has always been yours, Qui-Gon, always will be," I murmured, adding a second finger to the first and gently forcing the tight muscles to relax. I sought for and found his prostrate, causing him to keen and arch with pleasure, and I knew I couldn't wait any longer.

"Qui-Gon, it would be better if you were on your knees, please, I need to join with you, please," I felt as if I were begging, but I didn't need to, as he was already turning. I positioned myself behind him, using my own seepage to slicken my cock I slowly pushed into his body.

I controlled myself as well as I could, until I felt his muscles relax sufficiently to allow gentle thrusting. By that time, he was pushing back against me and I could feel his intense pleasure -- mixed with only a little pain -- through our bond, further inflaming me. //More // he whispered in my mind, and I obliged.

My thrusts quickly became more urgent, deeper, faster. We both gasped at the sensation, our heartbeats, our breaths became faster, until finally with a yell I came, deep inside the body of the man I loved most in the universe... I felt as though I had exploded, my body flying into pieces all over the room, sparks jumping behind my eyes. Whimpering, Qui-Gon came a second time, spraying his semen all over the bed.

We collapsed together, our sweat drying between us. Finally, we rolled over to hold each other tightly. "Obi-Wan," he whispered into my hair, "thank you for what you have given me tonight." I could do nothing but kiss him in reply, I was nearly beyond words.

When I found my voice again, I had to ask the question gnawing at me. "This is the first of many such nights, isn't it, Qui-Gon?"

In answer, he held me tighter, but not quite as tight as I was holding him. "Yes, my love, just the first of many!"

For almost an hour we laid together, enjoying the afterglow and exploring the new bond between us. But one of us was still in pain, and I knew we couldn't ignore it forever.

"Master?" I began, hesitantly. "We're going to have to talk to Lia soon... this morning. She has to know, we need to let her know she did nothing wrong." I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. "I feel so awful about how I treated her, Qui-Gon. If anything I behaved like a drunken Bantha. I left yelling at her, wishing she would just go away."

"I know, I didn't leave her with much sympathy either. We will both have to make our amends to her, and we will -- after we have gotten some rest. Agreed?"

"Yes, Ma ... Qui-Gon." Using the force I spread a blanket over our cooling bodies and snuggled down for some rest with my beloved Master. Qui-Gon had said everything would be all right... so it would be.

******************

Although exhausted from our activities of the evening, neither of us were able to do more than doze. It was a bit before dawn when we gave up, rose, dressed and made our way to the third member of our triad. Now that Qui-Gon and I had overcome our anguish, Lia's intense pain was coming through our bond stronger than ever. By the time we got to her quarters, both of us were nearly running. She didn't answer to the chime, but luckily she had given me access to her quarters long before. Had she not, I might have torn down the door in my desperation to get to her, and I don't think my Master would have been far behind. She was huddled in an exhausted sleep on her small sofa, a robe covering her. Her face was very pale and tear-streaked.

I knelt on the floor next to her. "Love, are you all right?" She came awake with a start, and looked frantically at us, apparently astonished at the sight of the two of us together. Qui-Gon sat next to her, taking her feet in his hands and rubbing them through the robe, I stayed on the floor next to her, holding her hands. Tears filled her eyes as she looked between us, and I could feel the severe agony rise again, overfilling her.

"Oh, Gods, Obi -- Qui, please forgive me, I'll leave, you never have to see me again, don't let me come between the love you two have for each other, please don't..."

"Oh, sweeting..." I whispered, taking her into my arms and soothing her. Qui-Gon moved to us and enfolded us in his strong embrace as I did so, while both of us murmured nonsense words to her, tried to get her to calm down, to stop sobbing so wretchedly. Her anxiety only mounted though, and finally I tried reaching her through our new bond, carefully, gently prodding her mind with my love.

//All is as it should be now// She 'heard' me, for that jolted her and caused her to pull back in utter amazement.

Qui-Gon tentatively sent to her his love as well. //We are joined now // I heard him through the link, and I know she did too.

"How can this happen?" she asked, in a whisper. "I'm not Force sensitive."

"But we are," Qui-Gon answered, smiling gently at her, at me. "And we love you as much as we love each other. For some reason, the Force has bonded us together. We cannot ignore it any longer. I love you, we love you!"

When she laughed, at first I thought she was doing so in understanding. But I could feel her hysteria bubbling just beneath the surface, and I didn't know what to do. I was afraid we had taken it too far that she had been hurt by something we had done. I looked at Qui-Gon in fear now.

"I've come between you," she said, her voice rising. "You love each other, so much... you don't need me between you to hurt your love..."

//Let me, Padawan, please // I 'heard' Qui-Gon say as he gently shouldered me aside, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Lia. It's all right. Everything is all right now. You are not interfering. You have become an integral part of us now, of the love we share."

Her look was so confused it bordered on comical. "It's because of you that we know," I said, reinforcing the wave of love I felt from my Master. "We're together," I continued, touching both the people I loved gently, physically and mentally. "All three of us. Together!"

Lia closed her eyes and bowed her head, giving in to the feelings washing over her. Suddenly we felt a bursting, as if a dam of emotion suddenly gave way. She sagged and I caught her, lifting her into my arms and carrying her into the bedroom. I laid down beside her, and Qui-Gon joined us on her other side, after laying his cloak over the three of us. She sighed, putting out a hand to touch both of us, and almost instantly fell asleep. We did too... at least, I know I did and I believe my Master did too.

I know it was much later that day, just after midday, that I woke again. The three of us had remained somehow entangled on her not nearly large enough bed; how we slept at all I'm not sure, but I know all three of us were exhausted. An urgent need for the fresher caused me to disentangle myself somewhat and stumble to the necessary. Oddly, I found I almost hurt the longer I stayed away from that bed. I quickly took care of my needs and crawled back into the embrace of my lovers, noting that Lia had curled up into Qui-Gon's embrace, and that his arms were reaching for the side of the bed I had recently vacated. I nestled against Lia's back, and felt my Master's hands on my face and heard him sigh.

"Obi-Wan?" he breathed. I looked over Lia's head and saw his eyes were open, slightly concerned.

"S'okay," I whispered back. But I suddenly realized it wasn't. A burning need was growing in the lower part of my body, one that would have been funny had it not been so demanding. It must have spilled over into our link for his eyes grew wide and I heard Lia moan in her sleep.

She turned to face me, her lips seeking mine and I felt her need too. Then I was feeling Qui-Gon's as well, and realized this was going to take some getting used to. We all seemed to be stuck in some sort of feedback loop, each of us feeding on the desires of the other; Lia was awake now and insistently kissing me, Qui-Gon behind her nuzzling her neck and running his hands down her sides. I felt that I should try to stop it, to hold back, but couldn't, and in truth, didn't want to. After the day before, physical contact was what we all needed to reaffirm our place in each other's hearts.

It didn't take long for us to remove all clothing between us, and the insistent ache helped quell any shyness we might have felt being all together. Bodies were explored, not so much with tenderness as with hunger. No words were spoken, not aloud anyway, but our minds were all linked and each of us had a rudimentary comprehension of what was happening, even if we didn't totally understand it. All I was certain of was that I needed to be in Lia, and that Qui-Gon needed to be in me. Immediately, if not sooner.

My lovers were accommodating... they had little choice in the imperatives their own bodies were giving them. I entered Lia from behind, both of us on our knees, as my Master prepared me with his Force and saliva coated fingers. The sensation of filling and being filled stretched throughout our bond...Lia was crying out as I pounded into her and I screamed as my Master entered me, all three of us reaching orgasm in a blaze of power and love that very nearly caused us to black out.

An elbow in my ribs brought my intelligence somewhat back to normal, and I managed to shift slightly to keep from squashing Lia under both of us. Qui-Gon managed to shift as well, on trembling legs, and we entangled ourselves together again, with her in the middle. "Dog-pile on the pilot," I heard her murmur, and all three of us chuckled, holding each other tightly, not willing to let go.

My nearly falling off her bed caused her to giggle and I said in a much aggrieved voice, "this is not working." I managed to secure myself back on the bed by the expedient and comfortable manner of laying mostly on top of her.

"We need a larger bed, don't we?" Lia asked, sleepily running her hands through my hair while nuzzling my Master's chest.

"We need to adjourn to somewhere more, ah, accommodating," Qui-Gon agreed, kissing Lia and stroking my cheek.

"Your bed, Master. Now. It's large enough for a horde."

"Can we get dressed first?" Lia asked plaintively, "I don't really understand this myself yet and have no wish to parade it about in the Temple."

Qui-Gon and I laughed fondly at her tone. "I'm not sure it will matter, dear heart," he said, a bit sadly. "After what just happened, and what happened last night, it will be slightly obvious. But yes, we need to dress first, and you need to pack some clothes. We won't be leaving our quarters for a while, I believe."

Lia and I looked at him, mildly alarmed. "What do you mean, Qui?" she asked, softly.

He looked into her eyes, then into mine, and I felt him probing the link -- and other things as well. I noted with considerable consternation the return of my arousal... this was incredible.

"Yes, Obi-Wan, I feel it too, and so does Lia," he said to my unspoken question. "Until this bond of ours stabilizes, we will need to be in continuous contact with each other."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I said nothing, mulling over this turn of events. It was Lia, as usual, who summed it all up for us. "Well," she said, and I could feel her brilliant smile through our link, "I can think of worse things than to be the filling in a Jedi sandwich for a few days!" She kissed Qui-Gon then turned and kissed me. // I love you, love you both so much // I heard, faintly, in my head.

"We love you too," I answered her aloud, kissing her back tenderly. "And once we get to Qui-Gon's bed, we intend to show you how much. You may have trouble walking for a few days..." I continued, with a wicked gleam in my eye.

And she did...as did I and Qui-Gon too, as we spent the next few days together while our bond settled. It wasn't long after that she took her Master's robes, and moved in with us for good. And none of us have ever regretted it.

Mace:

By the time Kenobi finished his story, it was late that night. We were both lost in thought for a while before I asked him the question I had put to Lia a few days before.

"A bonding ceremony?" he said, a bit taken aback. "Well, none of us have ever really thought about it, I guess. I really don't think Lia would go for it, she's a rather independent type, you know. And as for my Master, I'm not sure he would go for making something so private into something so public..."

I urged him to think about it, which he promised to do, smiling at my insistence, then he politely left me alone with my thoughts. There was only one person left to seek out, I thought, and I intended to do so with no further delay.