Pairing: none. (Way too short and silly for even that! - but if
it'll make you feel better, you can pretend they'd been playing
'hide the lightsaber' the night before. g Actually,
that'd just make Qui-Gon seem mean... ok- forget this
blab)
Summary: Obi-Wan finds out about a deep, dark secret of
Qui-Gon's. Complete and utter silliness, as per usual.
Feedback: Love it!
Disclaimer: Georges, they are. Mine, they're not. Disclaimer,
this is.
"Master!"
Obi-Wan ran down the corridor to catch up to the older Jedi who
was in the process of dragging a suspiciously wriggling sack
behind him. His Master looked around guiltily.
"Yes, Obi-Wan? Something the matter?"
His Padawan became instantly suspicious.
"Where are you going, Master, and what's in the sack?"
Qui-Gon glanced down as though only noticing the offending
object for the first time. Then he looked at his Padawan and
shot him a "Oh, that sack" look.
Obi-Wan gave a martyred sigh. He knew that look.
"Master..." he warned. "What's going on? Every few months I
catch you wandering around suspiciously, and every time you
pretend nothing's going on and then make up some pathetic
excuse as to why you're doing whatever you're doing."
"I do not!" exclaimed Qui-Gon, indignantly. "They were all very
convincing excuses," he muttered, after Obi-Wan raised an
eyebrow.
"So, say last time, you were in fact dragging a
two-hundred tonne bag of carrots down to the kitchens as the
Lamorian Spiked Pig needed feeding?"
"Yes."
"I see. And the time before that you were in fact
dragging Master Yoda in a sack to his surprise birthday party?"
"Yes."
Obi-Wan sighed.
"Master. I don't mean to question your honesty, but...well,
you're lying."
"Well, it does sound like you did mean to question my honesty,
then," snorted Qui-Gon, who was starting to feel rather
uncomfortable under the piercing stare of his Padawan. He made
a move to dodge the young man but was cut off quickly.
"Master," warned Obi-Wan, as though speaking to a child. "I
know you're up to no good. Show me what's in the bag."
"Are you ordering me around, young Padawan?" inquired Qui-Gon,
with a raised eyebrow.
Obi-Wan stood his ground.
"I am just ordering the man standing here with the wiggling
sack to open it or else I might have to pay Yoda a visit," he
replied with a meaningful look. "You don't want me to call Yoda
in over something as trivial as this, do you Master?"
"Are you blackmailing me, Obi-Wan?"
"Blackmail is wrong, Master," explained the young man calmly.
"It's right up there with lying."
Qui-Gon sighed.
"Point taken, my Padawan," he admitted grudgingly. "Fine - I
will show you something which will explain it all."
And with that, he took off down the corridor in the direction
of a series of smaller passageways rarely used anymore. Obi-Wan
followed until they were both standing in front of a door.
Qui-Gon took a small key out of his pocket and inserted it in
the lock. Then he pushed the door open and they both stepped
inside.
Obi-Wan gasped.
"By the Force!"
The room was filled with endless piles of objects of every kind
- from ornaments to pets to obscure bits and pieces - most of
which looked vaguely familiar to the young Padawan. Suddenly a
lightbulb switched on inside Obi-Wan's head and he portrayed an
even more shocked expression.
"The devil-possessed vase...! The sociopathic fruitbear..!
Master! These are all the things you've adopted over the
years!"
Qui-Gon nodded.
"You are right, Obi-Wan," he conceded. "I admit they all turned
out...wrong...in one way or another, so I've been storing them
all in here - out of sight, out of mind. No one but me ever
comes down here, after all."
Obi-Wan nodded, mouth hanging open. He attempted to think of a
reply, but the sight before him was just too overwhelming.
Qui-Gon chose that moment to shock him further. He tipped the
sack upside down that he'd been carrying, and out fell little
Anakin Skywalker. The Jedi Master felt an explanation was
necessary.
"Ok, so I'm pretty sure actually that he's not
the chosen one, and in fact he's going to turn to the Dark Side
and do the 'Evil Thang'."
Obi-Wan nodded weakly.
"So...you are just going to...leave him here?" he asked,
amazed.
"Oh, yes!" nodded Qui-Gon, apparently happy that his Padawan
had caught on so quickly. "There's lots of animals and toys to
keep him company, and I do drop food and water in every day."
"Ah," replied Obi-Wan, now completely dumbstruck. "I see."
"I'm so glad, my Padawan," exclaimed Qui-Gon cheerily. "You
see, you might have noticed that I don't like admitting
mistakes, though occasionally I have to accept I made a bit of
a Woopsie in regards to various adoption ideas of mine."
Obi-Wan nodded.
"I understand, Master," he replied, finally. "It will be better
now this is all out in the open. It's okay to admit mistakes -
we all learn and become stronger by it, after all."
Qui-Gon nodded as he walked back towards the door.
"Exactly, my Padawan. And I have learnt that one appears
stronger and more learned if one seems to never make mistakes,"
he replied, as he walked out the door and shut it firmly on
Obi-Wan's face.
"OW! Master!" yelled Obi-Wan, clutching his nose. He reached
for the handle to open the door after his apparently
absentminded Master had shut it, closing him in. The poor man
must be quite distraught after having accomplished such a
difficult task of sharing his emotions and weaknesses like
that. He turned the handle. He turned it again, this time with
a little more urgency.
"Errr...Master...You've locked me in..."
The Padawan's voice echoed around the room, and various strange
creatures rolled their little beady eyes and shook their heads
sadly and knowingly.
"Master...Not funny, Master. You can open the door now..."
Finally his Master's last words sunk in and a very worrying
feeling crept over Obi-Wan.
"Oops," he thought, as he experienced a little glimpse of how
his Master felt every time he realised he'd made a
miscalculation in judgement. He knelt down slowly and put his
eye to the keyhole. All he could see was a very empty corridor.
Note to self he thought. Never suggest revealing
someone's mistakes to the world when they have the key to the
isolated room you're standing inside
"It looks like you're here to keep me company!" squeaked a
chirpy voice from somewhere in the shadows of the room.
"Yippie!!"
Obi-Wan's head snapped up and he suddenly realised he had never
felt fear and dread quite like he was experiencing at that
precise moment. Slowly he stood up and turned around. He let
his eyes fall on Anakin who was already busily trying to make a
chess set out of various objects...and pets...around the room.
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