Master Apprentice Archive Rite of First Refusal Quick search:

Summary: In an ancient Jedi tradition, an 18-year old Obi-Wan chooses his Master to be his first lover. Qui-Gon's painful memories of Xanatos' coming of age threaten to keep him from fulfilling Obi-Wan's request.

Warm. The reception hall was exceptionally warm this evening. All because of one young man-Obi-Wan Kenobi. Qui-Gon's apprentice had recently turned eighteen, and as Jedi custom allowed he could choose his first lover from among their own. Many had gathered for this occasion, so many that their mass spilled beyond the great hall into the adjoining rooms and corridors.

"I don't recall a Rite of First Refusal ever being attended so enthusiastically," Qui-Gon murmured to his good friend Mace
Windu.

Mace scanned the sweet treats on the banquet table, seeming to ignore his friend's comment. He looked up finally and grinned.
"You're too modest, Qui-Gon. Your apprentice is very beautiful... they've all been waiting."

Qui-Gon's brow furrowed. "That's exactly what's wrong with this. Sex and love should be a private matter between two
people."

"And it will be private. But this is the moment to recognize maturity. To say publicly that this one has come of age."

It was a tradition that Qui-Gon Jinn, found particularly unfitting of the Jedi. He found it perverse to dress a Padawan in virginal white tunics, plait his braid with a white ribbon, and ask him to choose his first lover in front of... in this case... one hundred Jedi. It smacked of grotesque curiosity and Qui-Gon had dreaded this day for months.

"The tradition is antiquated," Qui-Gon said finally.

"I beg to differ. It's a lovely rite of passage."

"And what is lovely about forcing a youth to publicly choose a lover? And then, out of supposed respect, the youth asks his Master to be the first."

"Is that what has you so uptight? How do know that Obi-Wan will ask you?"

"That is the tradition, and knowing my Obi-Wan, he will follow it to the letter."

Mace was shaking his head now. "Really, Qui-Gon. No one beds their apprentice if it is not mutually agreeable... most decline the offer, knowing it is merely part of the tradition to be asked. That's why it's called the Rite of First Refusal." Mace considered his friend a moment longer. "But with you and Obi-Wan, well, it's obvious..."

Qui-Gon's brow raised with growing distaste for this conversation. "What is obvious, Mace?"

"That you are close. Your bond is admired," Mace said gently.

"Yes, we have a strong bond, but it does not give me the right to bed him."

Mace's mouth opened to rebut the comment, but he did not have a chance as the room quieted and all eyes turned to the figure in white pushing his way through the crowd. It was Obi-Wan. Dressed in the traditional whites of this ceremony. He looked luminous. Desirable. Sacrificial. Mace watched as Qui-Gon's eyes drank in his apprentice's beauty. For as much as Qui-Gon protested and tried to pretend that he was not attracted to Obi-Wan, it was all too obvious to his friend.

A circle opened at the center of the room, and Obi-Wan stood in the middle of it. With calm eyes he looked around the hall at all who had assembled and smiled shyly. He had never seen so many attend one of these ceremonies. In fact, it was normal to have no more than a dozen of your closest acquaintances and friends present. The Padawan pondered the meaning of so many in attendance to witness his choice-to witness his stepping into maturity.

Mace whispered carefully into his friend's ear. "He will ask you."

"Then I will decline," Qui-Gon answered, not looking at his friend.

The Council member was truly disappointed in his friend. To be presented with such a gift, and to turn it away without a second
thought seemed callous and foolish.

The moment was now Obi-Wan's. There would be no long sermons, musical accompaniment, or other such entertainment entwined with this rite. Just the gathering, the choice, and the acceptance. A Padawan, at his 18th year, chose to become sexually active or to take a vow of chastity. If a Padawan chose to become sexually active they then participated in this public rite of maturity---or better known as the Rite of First Refusal. Ironically, those taking the vow of chastity did so in a very private ceremony.

Without further hesitation, Obi-Wan walked the edge of the circle, scanning the crowd once again. There were hushed whispers as people waited for the inevitable... for him to find his Master among those gathered. Most had wagered that Obi-Wan would uphold tradition and ask his Master. The more adventurous gambled that Qui-Gon would accept the offer.

At last the Padawan pushed into the crowd, parting his way, cutting through to the banquet table where Mace and Qui-Gon stood. A space was again cleared, and Obi-Wan bowed deeply to his Master.

Qui-Gon swallowed and thought, ** Please don't do this, Obi-Wan. Please don't make me refuse you in front of your friends.**

"I have reached the age of maturity," came the traditional words spoken eloquently in that cultured voice. "I would ask you
to plait my braid with the red ribbon... Master," he said and held out his hand, palm up, revealing the neat ball of red, silk ribbon.

The symbolism was known to all. The Padawan arrived at the ceremony with a white ribbon entwined in his braid by his own hands. The next day, the Padawan's lover plaited the red ribbon into the braid to symbolize the consummation and conclusion of the ceremony.

Qui-Gon felt a growing anger within. Anger for a tradition that would force his Padawan to ask him to bed him when the boy did not truly desire it. Force him to participate in a tradition which held bad memories for him. His last apprentice, Xanatos, had caused a mild sensation when he slept with five "first" lovers in order to choose the "best fuck" to plait the red ribbon in his braid. Qui-Gon had publicly accepted his offer, breaking tradition, and then naively became one of five lovers that night. Xanatos' deception had been the beginning of the end of his relationship with his former apprentice. Six years later, the boy turned to the dark side.

And now Obi-Wan stood before him and the threat of betrayal once again hung tightly around Qui-Gon's heart. His words were not filled with the love and tenderness he felt for his Padawan, but with anger and disappointment. "I'm sorry, Padawan. I am honored by your request, but I can not be your first. I am declining your offer."

If it were normal for Jedi to react in an outburst of emotions, the room surely would have filled with the gasp of a hundred mouths. But no one was more surprised, and more hurt than Obi-Wan. He blinked several times and nodded slowly at his Master, showing his understanding of what had been said. And though it was almost always the case that the Master declined the offer, no one, least of all Obi-Wan, expected his Master to decline.

Qui-Gon could feel the effect his refusal wrought on the young man-the embarrassment, the pain. "Again, I'm sorry. I do
not mean to hurt you in this."

"It's all right, Master. You have first refusal," Obi-Wan said. And then with a grace that no one his age should possess, he
turned to those gathered. "The red ribbon is still in my hand," came the traditional words that were usually said with
enthusiasm, but now lacked that spark. "My first yet to be revealed."

With those words, the room burst into conversation and action. Qui-Gon had refused his apprentice. Now anyone could ask the young man for the honor of being his first.

"It's his choice now," Qui-Gon said to Mace, believing that he had freed Obi-Wan of his obligation to his old Master, and
freed himself from this tradition.

"They all expected you to accept him," Mace replied, moving with his friend toward a window. "The next hour should be
interesting."

And the two friends stood and watched as the prospective lovers descended on young Obi-Wan. Hungry eyes. Pleasing words. Slight touches. It all made Qui-Gon crazy with jealousy... but he had made his decision. If he was to be with Obi-Wan, it would be on their own terms, some time in the distant future. Not now. Not with half the Temple betting on it.

At last the choice was made. A Knight. A black haired Knight named Meesha with espresso skin and forest green eyes. Qui-Gon winced at the young man's attractiveness. He could just barely see the ritual concluding, and heard only the Knight's strong reply, "I accept."

Obi-Wan and the Knight left the reception hall to find a private place to conclude the ceremony.

Qui-Gon didn't expect to see Obi-Wan again until late the next morning. When he woke he was surprised to find his apprentice dressed in his usual cream tunics, and busily making breakfast.

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, stepping into the kitchen, wearing only sleep pants.

"Master," Obi-Wan turned and gave a quick bow before returning to the mika root he was frying.

"I did not expect you until much later. I trust your evening was... enjoyable."

"It was not as I expected," the young man answered and scooped the fried root onto a platter.

"The first time rarely is."

Obi-Wan brushed passed Qui-Gon to the table where eggs, fruit and bread were already waiting. He sat down and began preparing a plate for himself. Qui-Gon stood in the doorway and watched his apprentice for a moment. Obi-Wan was efficient as always, but there was an underlying sadness in the young man this morning. And he was still wearing the white ribbon in his braid.

Qui-Gon sat across from him. "Where is your red ribbon?"

Obi-Wan put his plate down and became very still. "I still have it." A long moment of silence and then, "I am still a virgin."

"And what about Knight Meesha?"

For the first time, Obi-Wan looked into Qui-Gon's eyes. "He was the only one brave enough to ask me. Can you believe that? The rest were merely curious, but no one would actually ask me." He was shaking his head slightly in frustration and confusion.

"What do you mean no one would ask you? I saw dozens..."

"My guess is that they're all too afraid of you to want me."

Qui-Gon blinked. "But the Knight asked you. What happened?"

Obi-Wan stood. "Please Master, haven't you embarrassed me enough for one lifetime?"

"You think I've embarrassed you?"

"Master, please don't make me explain any more."

Qui-Gon considered the emotion behind Obi-Wan's words. Surely he'd acted well within the parameters of the tradition. Most
Masters refused their Padawans, and then the Padawans went on to happily bed another... or in Xanatos' case, many others.

"You know I am not fond of this tradition, Obi-Wan. But I do not feel my actions should be an embarrassment to you. Most
Masters..."

"Yes, I know. But you are not most Masters, and I am not Xanatos."

Qui-Gon crossed his arms over his bare chest. "I am aware of that."

"Are you, Master? Now, may I be excused? I'd like to get an early start on my studies today."

"Finish your breakfast Padawan, then you may be excused."

Obi-Wan obediently sat down and ate his breakfast, though he refused to speak again.

At midday meal the cafeteria was crowded and buzzing with conversation, but one Jedi ate alone. Obi-Wan Kenobi was being
shunned, rather obviously, for not completing the ceremony. Everyone had expected to see him wearing the red ribbon today, and when he appeared without it, rumors had spread like laser fire, that Qui-Gon Jinn had stopped his Padawan from having sex with that young Knight, because of what had happened so many years before. And now, no one dared to be seen with him, in the misguided perception that Qui-Gon would retaliate somehow.

Obi-Wan was miserable. And he blamed one person for that misery-his Master.

When Qui-Gon appeared in the cafeteria with Mace Windu, the room quieted and all waited to see what would happen. Qui-Gon brushed off the curious gazes of the other Jedi, got his lunch and sat down with his friend. It didn't take him long to notice that Obi-Wan was eating by himself.

"That's odd," he said to Mace.

The other Master turned and followed Qui-Gon's eyes to Obi-Wan. "Ah, forbidden fruit," Mace chuckled.

"Why do you say that?"

"Word is you won't let anyone have him."

"What? That's ridiculous."

"Is it?"

"Of course, it is. I don't know what happened between him and that Knight, but I can assure you I had nothing to do with it."

Mace grinned. "You probably had everything to do with it, friend."

"Am I going to have to publicly sanction this rite before anyone else steps forward?" Qui-Gon asked, now feeling he just wanted the whole thing over with.

"You have a ghost to contend with first."

"Xanatos," Qui-Gon said, so quietly that his friend barely heard him.

"Now that they have seen Obi-Wan still wearing the white ribbon, they have jumped to the conclusion that you have interfered...because of what Xanatos did."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "I know Obi-Wan would never behave so badly. If only he had gone through with it last night."

"Perhaps the Knight got cold feet?" Mace chuckled.

"Someone must be willing," Qui-Gon said, clearly concerned that his Padawan was now tainted by his predecessor's mistake.

"To plait the red ribbon?"

Qui-Gon cringed when he heard that term. It was used to refer to a Padawan's first lover, but to Qui-Gon it had taken on an entirely different connotation-one filled with crude, lustful images.

"Maybe their hesitation is a gift to you, Qui-Gon."

"Hmm?"

"No one thought they would have a chance to be with Obi-Wan. They all expected you to accept his offer," Mace smiled. "And now they are even more convinced of it... now that he is still plaited white."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "That's exactly why I can't be his first. If we were ever to be together, I would want it just
between us. I wouldn't want their watchful eyes on us all the time."

"So, you are interested in him?"

Qui-Gon didn't answer.

"You still have time to be his first. To be his lover, Qui-Gon."

"I don't want that."

"Because you don't love him, or because you don't want anyone talking about it in the morning? Talking about you and Obi-Wan the way they did about you and Xanatos."

Qui-Gon pushed his dinner plate away, but made no response. Would he ever be truly free of the mistakes of the past? Mistakes that were not entirely his own?

"What if I pretended to be his first?" Mace proposed. "I could ask him, arrange everything, but you would be the one to meet
him. Then, in the morning, when he appeared with the red ribbon, everyone would think I had taken him."

"You've quite an imagination, Mace. I had no idea," Qui-Gon chuckled.

"I'm serious, Qui-Gon. You're in love with him. He's in love with you. What are you waiting for? I would merely be
facilitating the privacy of that love... and when the time was right, and you wanted others to know, you could reveal your feelings for each other."

Qui-Gon leaned back in his chair. As fantastic as it sounded, it appealed to Qui-Gon's need for privacy, and his desire to be with Obi-Wan. The freedom that privacy brought was appealing, and he was beginning to understand the opportunity that was transpiring before him. Maybe it was the will of the Force for him to be with Obi-Wan now. There was nothing written or unwritten that said he had to wait. His heart had spoken to him many times over the years that he loved his apprentice. And in the last year, that he was falling in love with him. And there could be benefits to such a relationship-an increased closeness could make them an even better team.

"You really think this could work?" he asked.

"Definitely. Leave everything to me," Mace smiled.

"And Obi-Wan?"

"I think it's best he doesn't know... to heighten the illusion."

"But what if he refuses you?" Qui-Gon worried.

"After this," Mace said looking once again at the young man sitting by himself at the table, "I think he'll jump on the first one to offer."

Mace understood for his plan to work, he had to get Obi-Wan to accept his offer in a very public place. He found the Padawan in the training salle late that afternoon.

"Your acrobatics are improving, Padawan Kenobi," Mace complimented Obi-Wan as the young man stepped off the training mat and patted the sweat from his face with a towel.

"Thank you, Master. I have been spending extra time with Master Flol."

"Ah, yes, she is known for her unusual ability in that area. It was good of your Master to arrange it."

Obi-Wan nodded, but did not respond. He so seldom spoke with Mace, despite him being a close friend of his Master, that this conversation seemed out of place... forced.

The Padawan was about to head to the showers when a class of younger Padawans entered the hall for exercises. It was then that Mace decided his audience had swelled to an appropriate number.

"I'd like to ask you something, Obi-Wan." Mace said, raising his voice so that it could be clearly heard above most of the
noise in the room.

Obi-Wan looked wearily on the Master.

"I see you still wear the white ribbon. I would be amenable to plaiting the red ribbon for you. If you so desired."

Obi-Wan's eyes grew wide. Next to Yoda, this was the last person he expected to be propositioned by. He was not particularly attracted to Mace, but the older man did have a commanding, and somewhat calming presence, and had always been a good friend to his Master. Perhaps he would make a good choice. A choice he would not have to worry about having residual feelings for. A choice who would sensitively perform a service for the young man and be done with it.

Obi-Wan reached inside his tunic and withdrew the long length of red ribbon. "Will you, Master Windu, take my hand and show me the ways of the red ribbon?"

Mace found his mouth had grown dry at the question. That lovely young man was accepting his offer to be the first. It took all his concentration to answer, "I accept."

That evening Obi-Wan arrived at the Council member's quarters dressed in the traditional white tunics of the rite.

"Come in, Obi-Wan," Mace greeted and then stepped back to allow the younger man to enter.

Obi-Wan stepped inside cautiously. He had never been in Master Windu's quarters, though his own Master spent a lot of time here. The common area was much larger, with many more chairs and divans to accommodate large groups of visitors, but was otherwise like the quarters he shared with Qui-Gon. In fact, except for the size of the rooms, Obi-Wan could not discern a great disparity in the accommodations provided Council members and the rest of the Jedi. He was pleased.

And then the view caught his attention. He walked over to the floor-to-ceiling window and gaped in awe at the view of the Jedi towers.

"We face the city," Obi-Wan said.

"We all face the city," Mace chuckled. The planet was a city and no matter where one looked one could not help but notice it. But he understood the young man's comment. Qui-Gon's quarters did not look onto the Temple, but onto the City only.

"Would you care for something to drink?" Mace asked.

"Do you have any juice?"

"Yes, I'll get you some," and Mace retreated momentarily to the kitchen.

Obi-Wan sat down on a low couch near the window and continued to be mesmerized by the beauty of the Jedi Towers at night.

Mace returned with the juice and sat down on the couch next to him. "I am honored you would accept me as your first lover,
Obi-Wan. I have been friends with your Master for many years."

The logic of one of Qui-Gon's closest friends being his first made complete sense to Obi-Wan. He wished he had thought of it
himself. This man respected and loved his Master, and would do nothing to breach that trust.

Obi-Wan gulped the drink. "This is awkward for me," the youth admitted.

"For me as well. Usually an experienced older friend is given this honor," Mace commented.

"I seem to be undesirable to them."

"You are in an unfortunate situation, but not undesirable. They are merely reacting foolishly to a perceived threat."

"But you are not threatened, Master."

"Of Qui-Gon?" he chuckled. "We have known each other far too long to be of any threat to each other."

"Then perhaps you can tell me, Master, why my Master thinks I will behave as Xanatos did."

"He does not, Obi-Wan. He is not fully healed of those times and is reacting poorly."

"Because he sees Xanatos in me," Obi-Wan charged.

"Padawan, if only you could hear your Master's praises you would know he does not compare you. To him you are light, and Xanatos only a cheap imitation of that light."

"He has told you this?"

"Yes, many times. We have had many conversations about his beloved Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan's eyes grew wide and hopeful. "What did you say, Master?"

"Perhaps we should meditate before..."

"Please Master Windu. He called me... beloved?"

Mace was caught. It was not his place to reveal his friend's feelings to his apprentice, and yet he could not lie to Obi-
Wan. "Yes, he has called you his beloved. Now, we must meditate and prepare ourselves for the plaiting of the red ribbon."

Obi-Wan's heart sang. His Master had called him beloved. Certainly not an endearment to be used lightly. But the young man had to be sure. "Did he ever call Xanatos his beloved?"

"No, Padawan, he did not," Mace said and put his hand over Obi-Wan's. "You need to focus, meditate on the completion of
the ceremony. It may help things if you got more comfortable... took off your boots."

Obi-Wan nodded. His heart pounded with a mixture of hope and despair. Hope that his Master loved him and one day would be his, and despair that he was about to give himself to a man he did not love. And he did not want a repeat of the night before when, in the end, he had refused Knight Meesha's advances. Thank goodness the Knight was honorable enough not to spread that little tidbit around the Temple. He would have been not only shunned, but also made the joke of the Order.

Mace left the room to allow Obi-Wan some privacy, dimming the lights as he went. The young man faced the Jedi Towers again and found peace. He pulled off his boots, and slipped out of his pants and briefs. If this was going to happen he wanted it to happen quickly, and not have the encumbrance of clothes give him time to back out again.

He kneeled facing the Towers, just meters from the window, and began his meditation. His eyes closed, and despite his nervousness, he was able to find his center and calm himself. He was not in his meditation long when he felt the stirring of air as a body walked passed him. The Padawan's eyes remained closed and he continued his meditation as his partner knelt before him, knees touching his. Obi-Wan's meditation focused on the warmth he felt in his knee caps. The warmth of another body touching his. He had enjoyed youthful encounters full of heavy kisses and groping, but what he hoped for tonight was the steady hand of an experienced lover.

Moments passed before another light touch to his skin threatened his meditations altogether. It was the touch of hands, fingers really, barely skimming his bare thighs as they made their way slowly up his legs from his knees to his hips, sliding under his tunics. Air leaked from his lungs in shaky breaths as he enjoyed that warm, gentle and knowing touch.

"Obi-Wan," he whispered.

"Master?" he asked, confused. That did not sound like Master Windu.

There were lips at his ear, brushing lightly, repeating his name, "Obi-Wan. Beloved."

With a gasp, Obi-Wan's eyes flew open to see that the hands, the lips, the breath that were on him were his Master's. His
Qui-Gon's. He nearly sobbed at the sight of him.

"Master? What...?"

Qui-Gon put a finger to his Padawan's lips. "I am accepting, if you will have me."

Obi-Wan was suddenly angered. He had been tricked. Though he desired his Master, he had been rejected by him, and was prepared for Master Windu's attentions.

"I don't want your pity," Obi-Wan said and turned his head away.

"I did not mean to hurt you, Obi-Wan. I was caught between the mistakes of the past and my desire to be with you... privately. I do not wish for this act to become public property."

Obi-Wan turned his face back and looked intently at his Master. "Public property?"

"This tradition is all wrong, Padawan. This moment in your life should be private."

"But it is a coming of age... for all Jedi to know I have reached maturity."

"Reaching your eighteenth year should be enough," Qui-Gon responded.

Obi-Wan hesitated and then spoke softly, "I think I understand, Master."

"Yes?"

"This is about Xanatos," the young Jedi said, his facial features turning hard.

"No Padawan, this is about you, and your right to privacy."

"You mean *your* right to privacy. You arranged this with Master Windu didn't you? So he would pretend to be my first, but in reality it would be you. Do I disappoint you so much, Master, that you would wish to reject me publicly so that you might have me secretly?"

"No, Obi-Wan. But I do believe this is a matter between us... not for the entire Temple to gossip about."

Obi-Wan rose slowly to his feet and looked down at Qui-Gon who was still kneeling before him. "I think you should leave, Master. I asked Master Windu to plait the red ribbon and he agreed. I intend to honor that acceptance."

"Even knowing that he arranged this for me?" Qui-Gon looked up with nearly tearful eyes.

"He will not refuse me."

Qui-Gon collected his thoughts and then stood gracefully. He looked at Obi-Wan once more before leaving without another word.

The next morning, Obi-Wan emerged from the fresher wrapped in a towel about his waist. Qui-Gon came into the common area at the same time, fully dressed for the day. The Master did a double take as he noticed Obi-Wan was again plaiting his hair with the white ribbon.

"How long do you intend on wearing that, Obi-Wan?"

"Until I wear the red ribbon, Master," the youth said somewhat cooly.

Qui-Gon knew better than to ask about what had happened with Mace after he'd left. Maybe Obi-Wan wasn't ready to fulfill the requirements of this rite. It wasn't entirely unheard of for a Padawan to go up to a year after the ceremony without wearing the red ribbon. But he never expected it of Obi-Wan. He had long considered his apprentice very desirable and knew that others did as well.

Qui-Gon sat at the small dining room table with a bowl of shredded grain, cream and berries. He watched as Obi-Wan finished weaving the ribbon into his Padawan braid and then walked up to the table. As he walked, the towel loosened, threatening to fall to the floor, but somehow it clung to the young man's hips, opening only to expose a beautiful thigh. Qui-Gon clamped down his arousal, remembering the touch of his fingers on that thigh.

His apprentice stood before him, not so much defiant, as enormously confident. "I asked you to be my first because you are my teacher in all things, Master, not because it is tradition. It only seemed right that you should also be my teacher in this. I had grown in thebelief that we share an unusually strong bond, but now I find that your memories are even stronger than our bond."

Obi-Wan held up his hand to be sure Qui-Gon would not interrupt. It was extremely difficult speaking to his Master this way, but these were things he had to say. "You hurt me deeply with your assumption that I would act as Xanatos had acted. That I would use you and throw you aside... when our bond is so strong. I thought you trusted me, Master. I thought our friendship was based on trust."

Obi-Wan looked on Qui-Gon a moment longer, his lower lip trembling with the emotion of his words. He had never spoken this way to his Master before. To the man he respected and loved more than any other man. But he wasn't surprised when, in the end, Qui-Gon didn't respond. It was so like his Master to wait things out. Ever the diplomat. Ever waiting for the waters to calm.

Obi-Wan turned tail and retreated to his room where he dressed and then hastily left their quarters.

"Mace, I've lost him," Qui-Gon said to his good friend as they walked through the rock garden. "In one day I have undone
what has taken years to build."

"He loves you, Qui-Gon," Mace replied.

"That's your answer? I may have irreparably hurt my bond with Obi-Wan and all you can say is that he loves me?"

"That's all you need to know... and that you love him. With that knowledge you will overcome  this... perhaps even become
stronger."

"And what happened last night? After I left?" Qui-Gon asked.

"Obi-Wan dressed, thanked me for what I was trying to do for him, and then left to meditate in the gardens. I think he may have been relieved that I wouldn't be his first."

Qui-Gon gave a partial smile, but otherwise did not respond.

"I had no idea your heart was so fragile, Qui-Gon. Or that you would let Xanatos win after all these years."

That got Qui-Gon's attention. "I have a right to be cautious."

"But not afraid. Fear leads to anger..."

"Yes, Mace, you don't need to remind me."

"It seems I do. You're not behaving like the rebellious, confident Qui-Gon I know. You're cowering like an injured animal.
Did Xanatos' betrayal hurt you that badly?"

Qui-Gon was silent again.

"You were in love with him," Mace said in sudden realization.He had always suspected it, but after Xanatos' fall from grace
had never dared ask.

"Yes, I loved him, but not like I do Obi-Wan," he said and took a deep breath. When he gave himself a moment to reflect on his current apprentice he almost always became overwhelmed. He loved him dearly and knew that love would continue to grow.

"Tell him," Mace suggested.

"He won't listen to me now. He's determined to wear that damn white ribbon forever. He thinks I'm ashamed of him and
that's why I wouldn't accept him publicly."

"That is a problem. But you do want him?"

"Of course I do."

"Then be free of your past and accept him... publicly."

"He won't accept me."

"Take a chance, friend. Do something the old Qui-Gon would do.It's the last thing he'd expect from you now," Mace said
with a pleased grin.

"You mean walk into the cafeteria and ask to plait the red ribbon?"

Mace nodded.

"With everyone watching?"

Another nod. "Then you'll be free... both of you."

Qui-Gon wasn't sure what strength brought him to the cafeteria at midday meal. It couldn't have been physical strength, because his legs felt like wet tomari noodles. And his mental strength was clouded under a thick fog of past mistakes. So it had to be the strength of his connection to Obi-Wan, a connection that had truly formed on Bandomeer all those years ago, when the brave boy offered his life for the sake of others.

He was standing before Obi-Wan's table for nearly a minute before he spoke. His Padawan was looking up at him with questioning, but respectful eyes. One of Obi-Wan's best friends, Bant, had returned from a mission and was blessedly keeping him company during the continued ostracism by the other Jedi. It was Bant's giggle that brought Qui-Gon out of his reverie.

"Padawan, I wish to speak with you."

"Yes, Master. Would you care to join us?"

"No, Obi-Wan, I wish you to join me."

The apprentice's posture straightened.

Qui-Gon took a breath and then spoke in his commanding diplomat's voice so that all could hear. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, I would be honored to accept your offer to plait the red ribbon... if you will still have me."

The room hushed. The profound hush of hundreds of voices quieting at once. All eyes and ears were on them.

Obi-Wan blinked, looked to Bant and grinned, and then back to his Master. "Yes, I would be honored for you to take my hand and show me the ways of the red ribbon. Thank you, Master," he said and bowed his head slightly.

Qui-Gon held out his hand and Obi-Wan stared at it. This was an odd thing indeed. His Master holding out his hand, but not to help him climb a mountain side, or to raise him up from being flipped onto a training mat, but to lead him back to their quarters to make love.

With a hard swallow Obi-Wan placed the red ribbon in Qui-Gon's hand and then inserted his own hand into the much larger one. His Master smiled, and Obi-Wan tingled from his head to his toes.

In true Jedi fashion the pair meditated. The Jedi looked to meditation for so many things. To calm their minds. To reflect. To
read the Force. To heal. And in this case to prepare. After one full hour of kneeling face-to-face in quiet meditation with the red ribbon lying on the floor between them, the Master and Padawan opened their eyes nearly in unison... but what Qui-Gon saw was sadness in the blue-gray eyes staring back at him.

"Your heart is heavy, Master," Obi-Wan answered the unspoken question.

"I discovered something in my meditation."

Obi-Wan's eyes grew wide and watery. "You do not wish this?"

"Just the opposite, Obi-Wan."

Now the eyes shown with confusion. "But you are hesitant."

"Only because in my heart I want much more than this. It will be very difficult guiding you in this and not wanting more."

"Who is to say we can not have more? Xanatos?"

"No, Obi-Wan," he said as gently as he could. "I'm sorry I let the past cloud the present. *He* will not interfere again."

They looked into each other's eyes, deeply and without words, searching for answers that each bore in his heart for the other. Most Masters declined the offer to be the first and for good reason. Such intimacy with one's Padawan could reveal more complex emotions beneath the trappings of the ritual. But Qui-Gon had never been one to fear... not until Xanatos took his heart and so easily broke it. He should have been more cautious. Should have seen the deceit from the very beginning. But he did not until it was too late.

And now, the Force was blessing him with the gift of Obi-Wan. Nearly from the start, Qui-Gon had realized that Obi-Wan would be more to him than just an apprentice. It wasn't the boy's physical beauty that told him this, but the inner light that shone so brightly that often the Master had to look away or be blinded by its brilliance. Obi-Wan could heal him, and in a way, he already had. Obi-Wan would never betray him, use him, scorn him, or turn against him as Xanatos had. Obi-Wan would love him... and perhaps that gave him the greatest pause. The truth and beauty of that love would be something he could never live without again.

"Kiss me," came the softly spoken words from Obi-Wan's lips. And then as he seemed to sense Qui-Gon's hesitation, his
words became a plea, "Kiss me, Master."

Qui-Gon's heart was nearly torn from his chest as in that second he realized he had almost thrown this away. Discarded this
unconditional offering of love from the one man he trusted and loved most in the galaxy.

He leaned slowly toward Obi-Wan, his warm breath reaching his Padawan's lips seconds before his own lips. And then the light touch of skin sent a ripple of joy through him. That slightest of touches was almost too much for his senses and he pulled back. Pools of blue-gray stared back at him.

"I am not changing my mind," he said to quickly erase the tension from his Padawan's face. "I am merely dazed by your
beauty."

Obi-Wan gave him a sweet grin---the almost shy smile he shared when he received special praise from his Master. And now Qui-Gon realized that Obi-Wan had loved him for a very long time, that this rare smile was an indication of very deep affection and hoped for reciprocation.

Qui-Gon caressed Obi-Wan's cheek with the back of his hand. "Everything will change now."

"I know," came the simple reply from the young man.

"Are you ready for me to guide you in this your first loving?" Qui-Gon asked, knowing in his heart this was truly Obi-Wan's first time.

"I am ready, Master," he said and then placed his hand lightly on the hand still caressing his cheek.

Qui-Gon stopped the motion of his hand and let the moment stretch between them. In one night they would go from being Master and Padawan to being lovers in the truest sense. There would be no long courtship, no romantic walks in the garden, and no stolen kisses in the corridor to lead them to this moment. Just sex. In this regard, the ancient tradition was awkward. It would take them from the chaste brotherly touches of training and missions to the intimate, knowing caresses of lovers. It was all at once thrilling and daunting. And in this moment, in this new beginning, Qui-Gon was again the teacher...the Master. And so he began to physically love the Padawan he had loved in his heart for many years.

He leaned into Obi-Wan and kissed him again lightly. A lick of the lips and then another kiss and another, until his hands joined the worship by easing up and down Obi-Wan's thighs in gentle caresses. It was important that they both find heat and desire to be sure this joining was nothing less than consensual and enjoyable. They were certainly attracted to each other, but again the transition from chaste to heated touches was a tricky one. Qui-Gon needed to be sure, at every step, with every move, that Obi-Wan was comfortable with this. That he could stay in the moment and stay aroused without his mind being overwhelmed by this stellar change in their relationship.

But it was Obi-Wan who seemed most prepared for this change. Most eager for it. Whereas the Master was cautious from many years of life's ups and downs, the Padawan, the youth, was almost impatient to test the limits of this love. Obi-Wan began to lean into the kisses, losing his inhibitions quickly to touching his Master this way. Taking the kisses to the level of hunger, pushing through Qui-Gon's lips to open his Master's mouth with his tongue.

Qui-Gon moaned at the promise and desire that tongue brought. He returned the exploration, but continued to try to pace this
lovemaking. It could so easily turn passionate, and feverish and would totally lose the meaning behind this tradition and behind what Qui-Gon hoped to build here.

"Slowly," he instructed as he noticeably eased back from the intense kiss.

Obi-Wan pulled back entirely, blushing heavily from the command and the heat of the contact.

"For this to truly be instruction we must take things slowly...as we always have."

"Yes, Master," disappointment evident in his tone.

"But of course I fully expect you to enjoy each moment of this, Obi-Wan. And as you have done in your Jedi training, you must tell me immediately if you are hurt," he said and then placed his hand on Obi-Wan's heart. "Even if the pain is here, I need to know immediately. I will lead you, but you are an equal in this. We can stop at any point."

Obi-Wan nodded and then dutifully waited for the sweet kisses to begin again. Soon Qui-Gon took the instruction to the next level and began to peel back Obi-Wan's tunics. It was such a delicious sensation to remove the layers while his mouth kissed and sucked at his Padawan's neck and then slid down his chest to a rose colored nipple. He had watched his apprentice grow from an eager, bright-eyed boy to a lean, powerful young man, and had always felt honored to be his friend and teacher. And now he was honored to be his first lover.

Obi-Wan gasped at the attention being paid his nipple and dared to reach his hands out to his Master's hair, and twine his fingers in the long brown locks. The result was another groan from his Master and a quick nip to the sensitive peak of his nipple.

With comfort in mind, Qui-Gon moved them into his bedroom; drawing Obi-Wan off the floor and tucking the red ribbon in his sash. The younger man hesitated in the doorway before following him to the large bed. They sat down together, holding hands and pressing together for more kisses. Slowly, methodically each piece of Jedi clothing was removed from the apprentice. Belt, sash, tabard, outer tunic, inner tunic... all removed to reveal the creamy, well toned body beneath. Obi-Wan's chest was rising and falling more rapidly and Qui-Gon smoothed over the muscles with his hands and spoke softly.

"You are breathing hard... in arousal?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan breathed out.

Their lips met again with more confidence and fire. Obi-Wan's hands began to fumble at his Master's belt. Qui-Gon restrained a grin as those hands worked the belt off, then the sash, and practically tore his tunics off. Obi-Wan's mouth withdrew from
his lips and quickly found their way to Qui-Gon's chest where they mapped the large expanse of muscle and finally settled on a nipple. The younger Jedi suckled fiercely, his body temperature rising, and Qui-Gon held his head firmly in place, moaning with each deep breath.

"I've wanted this for so long," Obi-Wan said, pulling away briefly.

"Yes, Obi-Wan. Take what you want from me."

At last they were lying back on the bed, Qui-Gon pressing the smaller man into the mattress beneath him. They were both fully erect and stroking each other's cocks through their leggings. Their breathing was heavy and loud and the movement of their bodies on each other added to the sensuality of the moment as the bed creaked in appreciation.

Qui-Gon slowed his ministrations slightly and slid his hands to the waistband of Obi-Wan's trousers. He slipped several fingers
inside, just far enough to caress the jutting hip bones. Obi-Wan wriggled beneath him in pleasure, and then mirrored the lesson with his own fingers tucked inside his Master's trousers. As if on cue, they both undid the ties and began to push the trousers down passed hips and buttocks... cocks springing in release... and hands continuing to take the fabric away until they were stopped... by boots.

Obi-Wan was the first to chuckle at the minor detail they had overlooked. He was fairly amused that his *teacher* had also missed this detail. In seconds they were both laughing, tickled by their eagerness and relieved by the slight break in activities. Each sat up, removed their boots, the rest of their trousers, and then laid side by side on the bed. Now deliciously naked the two Jedi breathed in a heavy, steady rhythm. But did not move. Their eyes met, and Obi-Wan smiled at the intensity in the blue depths that stared back at him. He had never seen such desire in his Master before. Qui-Gon Jinn, the man who was forever calm, forever patient, and in control was losing himself to the moment. And it pleased Obi-Wan very much.

Several minutes passed before Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan again. At first his left hand merely hovered over his Padawan's milky skin, running the length of him and touching him only with the slight movement of air between his hand and the youth's body. The near touch delighted and aroused Obi-Wan further and twice he nearly leapt off the bed into that hand, but he waited for the lesson to continue.

At last the hand slowly fell the inches to make contact, and Obi-Wan hissed at the long anticipated pleasure. The large hand, with its callused fingers, petted, rubbed the young man, beginning at his shoulders and working its way down the lean body-bypassing the aching erection-to soothe thigh and calf muscles. Qui-Gon made several passes up and down Obi-Wan's body and then, finally, his hand brushed against the youthful cock.

Obi-Wan's breath caught, and before he could fully absorb this new sensation Qui-Gon's lips were on his in a fierce kiss. The
kiss deepened and became more hungry as Qui-Gon grabbed the swollen cock into his hand and gently stroked it. His Master's tongue and hand were all Obi-Wan could think about... breathe damn it!... tongue and hand... breathe!

A whimper escaped him and was quickly absorbed into his Master's very being. "Oh..." he moaned feeling the overload of sexual pleasure build within him. Then a second hand came into play and Qui-Gon slid a finger underneath him to caress the virgin anus. It was too much...

"Wait," Obi-Wan breathed out. "Please, wait."

His Master's response was immediate. The stroking and caressing and kissing stopped. And Obi-Wan fairly shook from the removal of that fantastic stimulation.

Qui-Gon drew himself up on an elbow and looked with concerned eyes at his Padawan. "What is it, Obi-Wan? Am I going too fast?"

"I... I don't know," he said between short breaths.

"Concentrate on your breathing, young one. You'll hyperventilate."

Obi-Wan nodded and with trembling lips and hands he drew a calming dose of the Force into his being. His breathing evened out almost immediately and he felt he could think straight again.

"Much better," he grinned.

"Now tell me. What are you feeling?" the Master asked.

Obi-Wan knew what he was feeling. He was overwhelmed, overjoyed by this intimacy with his Master. Qui-Gon was the most incredible man he knew. He was beautiful, strong, intelligent, and above all his loving teacher. What the apprentice didn't know was what his Master was feeling.

"Do you want me, Master?" Obi-Wan asked shyly.

"Yes, Obi-Wan."

"You're not just doing this because I asked you?"

A gentle smile answered the legitimate question. "No, beloved. But I also would not be doing this if you did not want it."

"Tell me what you're feeling, Master, right now. It's so hard to read you sometimes." The last part was a huge confession.
Despite his years with Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan still had difficulty getting beneath the veneer of his Master's calm features.

Again a smile. "I feel loved. I feel desired. I feel... you."

"You are loved and desired, Master. But I feel like this is a dream."

"It is a dream, Obi-Wan. A dream we both had separately and now can share."

Obi-Wan smiled and much relief shown in his eyes. "When I wake will you still be here with me?"

"Yes, beloved. And it is my hope that you stay here with me always."

"Here?"

"Yes, in this bed. Will you share this with me always?"

"But you don't even know if I'll be any good," the younger Jedi said with complete sincerity.

Qui-Gon placed his hand over Obi-Wan's heart. "All I need is what's in here. Your goodness and your love." And with a low
chuckle he added, "And I am certain you will take to these lessons as quickly as you have the others."

Obi-Wan blushed. "Perhaps more quickly, Master."

"Are you ready to begin again?"

Obi-Wan nodded and noticed that the conversation had diminished both his and Qui-Gon's arousal.

"Don't worry, beloved, I have a feeling our desire for each other will take a very long time to sate."

They moved toward each other with love shining deeply in their eyes-the love of a new understanding. They had needed this little chat to even things out. To make sure they were both on the same page of this new chapter in their lives. Obi-Wan moved with more confidence now. Touching his Master as he had been touched. Caressing the large flank, licking the chest muscles, stroking the hardening cock. He was finally being allowed to live out his fantasies and to give something back to the man who had devoted years to teaching him. Give back the love he had received every day of his training... a love that he had only recently begun to see.

There, again, his Master's hand was on him, stroking him to quick hardness. And the older man was at the same time reaching back for a bottle of massage oil. Qui-Gon hadn't taken a lover at the Temple in years, not since Obi-Wan came into his life, and so did not normally have the necessary sex aids in his bedchamber. But over the last few months, as his Padawan's 18th year drew closer, he wrestled with his feelings about this ceremony. Despite misgivings, he had clung to an unspoken hope that this might happen... that he might at last have his Obi-Wan... and so, he had purchased the scented oil on a recent mission.

Qui-Gon dipped his fingers in the bottle. The heavy liquid drizzled over Obi-Wan's flat stomach as he brought his fingers to the
youth's body, sliding under him once again.

"Spread your legs, love," the Master Jedi instructed.

Obi-Wan swallowed and complied.

Qui-Gon rubbed the anus again, "relax," and slipped in just one inch of one finger.

Obi-Wan nearly jumped at the slight invasion, but lay still in fascinated anticipation. His stroking of Qui-Gon's cock had
slowed as his attention was diverted. Qui-Gon understood Obi-Wan's difficulty in dividing his attention at this point. Every sensation was new for the youth, and in many ways it was new for Qui-Gon as well. New for him to have his heart so full of love. New for him to make love to a virgin... now he was almost grateful for Xanatos' betrayal for it made this first time with Obi-Wan all the sweeter.

The finger slid deeper and stroked. A moan escaped the younger man's lips, and a second finger was inserted. Their bodies
pressed closer together and Qui-Gon wrapped one leg over Obi-Wan's. Slowly he made love to his precious Obi-Wan with his fingers, changing the angle to rub the prostate and send bolts of pleasure skittering through the young man's body.

"Yesss," Obi-Wan moaned and pressed down onto the fingers and Qui-Gon's palm.

A third finger squeezed inside him. Motion stopped as Qui-Gon carefully watched Obi-Wan's staggered breathing and the tension in the youth's legs. He waited until the legs fell open further and relaxed before he began to stroke in and out again. This time faster, deeper in the final preparation.

With the withdrawl of the fingers Obi-Wan lifted his head off the pillow and watched half dazed as his Master coated his cock with the oil. He blinked back tears, but several escaped and fell down his cheeks.

"We're really doing this?" he asked finally, his mind doing flip-flops trying to make sense of this new way of being.

"Yes, Obi-Wan. If you still want to."

"Definitely, yes... I just... it's so... not like it was."

"I know. And soon neither of us will remember what it was like before... this."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Good."

Qui-Gon knelt between the younger Jedi's legs and lifted Obi-Wan's hips off the bed. "It's easier if you're on your stomach, but I want us to look into each other's eyes this first time... I want to know you're all right... and I want you to watch me loving you."

Obi-Wan nearly cried at his Master's beautiful words. "I trust you completely, Master."

The head of the large, crimson cock was pressed to Obi-Wan's readied opening. "I love you, Obi-Wan."

"And I love you, Master."

The cock pressed forward, the crown slipping beyond the first ring of tight muscles. Qui-Gon let out a satisfied groan. So good and this joining had just begun. Again forward, easing in one more thick inch.

"So full," Obi-Wan writhed.

"Too much?"

"No, I need all of you," Obi-Wan said and experimentally squeezed his passage around his Master's cock. "More,
please."

Qui-Gon shivered at the intimate touch, and lifted one of Obi-Wan's legs and pressed it into the young man's chest.
"To open you further," he said, and slid in deeper.

This time a loud moan escaped Obi-Wan's lips, and Qui-Gon leaned down to kiss him tenderly. "More?"

"Yes!" Obi-Wan moaned again. "You're amazing."

This amount of restraint was taking much of Qui-Gon's concentration. Every cell of his body was telling him to thrust hard
into his lover. Make the young man take him completely in one deep thrust. But the teacher, and the man who loved Obi-Wan, knew such a move could cause injury and pain. And so, with deep breaths, he inched inside the tight heat, resisting the urge to thrust in and out, until Obi-Wan's muscles accepted him more easily.

When Obi-Wan began to press back into him, he knew the moment of complete fulfillment was drawing near. A final push forward and he was completely inside to the base of his shaft. He shuddered and felt warm all over from being inside his beloved Padawan.

"How are you?" he asked. Usually he didn't say much during lovemaking, but it was important in this lovemaking that his
Obi-Wan was comfortable and unafraid.

"Ready… Wanting you," the young man breathed out.

Qui-Gon placed his hands firmly on Obi-Wan's hips and slowly pulled out as far as the crown.  The movement got a sweet hiss from his Padawan, and Qui-Gon slowly pressed back inside. He repeated this slow, torturous pace for nearly a dozen strokes, until Obi-Wan began to thrust up harder into the thrusts.

"Yes," he moaned back, pleased that Obi-Wan was enjoying the experience.

The Master's pace quickened, as he began to ride his apprentice's eager body. Legs entwined, hands massaged, nails
dug, as the Master's thick shaft began a relentless drive in and out of the pleasing tightness.

Feeling his orgasm building in his balls, Qui-Gon grabbed Obi-Wan's cock and began to stroke it in time with his thrusts.
Rapid, deep thrusts that were soon to send both men spiraling into blissful completion.

Pre-cum oozed from the head of Obi-Wan's cock, making the strokes easier, faster. Qui-Gon could see his apprentice trying to hold back, not wanting this to end. "Yes, Obi-Wan, come for me."

With his Master's husky words of approval, Obi-Wan gave into his body's need. The orgasm spouted from him in an almost painful stream as he arched off the bed and screamed out his Master's name, "Yes, Qui-Gon, fill me, Qui-Gon."

And at once, the Master responded to the aroused pleas, and thrust several more times deeply into his apprentice. Filling him, loving him to completion. He slumped onto the smaller man gasping for air. "Love you… Obi-Wan… Beloved."

"Yes, love you, Master." And after several minutes, "thank you."

Qui-Gon moved enough to look into Obi-Wan's eyes and smiled. "You're welcome."

They repositioned themselves more comfortably, side-by-side in each other's arms, and fell asleep with the musky odor of sex filling their nostrils.

Over an hour later, Obi-Wan was the first to wake. He was naked and sticky, and lying in his Master's arms. It really had happened. Qui-Gon had really taken him. The thought of being his Master's lover was too beautiful for words, so he allowed himself to fall into a light meditation from the feelings that flowed around him and inside him. The trance lulled him with a gentle humming of the Force and a light tingling of his body. Being loved so fully by his Master was an experience and a state of being he knew he would never tire of or fail to be in awe of. Qui-Gon Jinn was one of the most respected Jedi in the Order, and also one of its best teachers. To have this man, his Master love him this way was nothing less than a gift.

When Qui-Gon finally woke, he woke to bright blue-gray eyes smiling down on him.

"I take it your first time was a good experience," he grinned amused.

"Better than good. It was beyond anything I had imagined. It was beautiful… incredible… and all because it was you, Master."

"And you're wondering when your next lesson will be?" Qui-Gon teased.

Obi-Wan laughed. "Soon, I hope."

"Yes, soon, but right now we should attend to your soreness."

Obi-Wan blushed a deep shade of rose. He did feel sore, there, and also full, as if the ghost of his Master's cock still filled him.

"In time this will be easier for you… but there is always the chance for soreness. It's only natural, even with careful
preparation."

And so the instruction continued. The two Jedi showered, dressed and then meditated for a short time to relieve Obi-Wan's slight discomfort.

"Now, I will plait the red ribbon into your braid… and if you consent, I would like to do so in a public place in the Temple."

"In front of everyone?"

"Yes, I don't want there to be any doubt about this. I want everyone to know the great honor I was given."

"And I received," Obi-Wan smiled. "It's nearly last meal. We could go to the cafeteria."

"Good choice, Padawan," and Qui-Gon held out his hand and raised them both from the floor.

In the cafeteria, dozens of Jedi were already seated and enjoying their evening meal when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan entered the hall. More Jedi were coming in every minute, and all were curious to see the pair after the public acceptance to plait the red ribbon earlier that day. But Obi-Wan still wore the white ribbon, and muffled whispers and snickers reached their ears.

"They're laughing," Obi-Wan frowned.

"Not for long," Qui-Gon assured him, and pulled the red ribbon from a pouch on his belt.

He held the scarlet ribbon high in an act close to defiance and then nodded for Obi-Wan to sit down. The Master knelt before his apprentice and began to unwind the Padawan braid and remove the white ribbon representing Obi-Wan's virginity. He caught the silk length in his hand and placed it on Obi-Wan's lap.

"Here is what remains of your virginity," he said in a normal speaking voice, unconcerned how many heard his words.

Then the large hands held the red silk ribbon at the top of the braid, close to Obi-Wan's scalp. He leaned forward, and if this
public plaiting wasn't enough, he kissed his Padawan before deftly weaving the ribbon into the braid. Once completed the two met in a longer, deeper kiss and then Qui-Gon stood and looked around the room, taking in all the wide eyes and gaping mouths.

He looked down on his beloved Obi-Wan and smiled. "It seems my reputation as a rebel is still intact."
 

End.