Summary : Qui-Gon finds out that Obi-Wan is hitting the
bars...and offers an alternative.
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Disclaimer : You know the drill...not mine (rats), no money
involved, no harm intended.
"Qui-Gon you have to do something about it, it's your
responsibility. Your padawan is prowling the sleazier bars at
night and people are starting to talk."
I sighed and nodded, "You are right Mace I should have known."
It just never occurred to me that he was leaving the Temple. I
knew that he spent time with other padawans but beyond that I
didn't choose to enquire, telling myself I was respecting his
privacy.
Mace shook his head "I must say Obi-Wan was the last person I
expected to be involved with this and he is not the only one. I
don't know who the ring leader is and frankly I don't care." He
smiled at me "But it must stop."
I knew there was something he was not saying. "You think I
have neglected him," I said flatly.
"I think you sometimes forget that he is only twenty five. His
combat skills are the equal of most knights and he is strong in
the Force but he is still a young man with limited experience.
He needs your guidance. You must put his needs before your
own."
I sighed again and stood "Damn you Mace you are right of
course. Thank you." I paused, "I take it they won't be
officially reprimanded?"
"No, the Council feels it should be left to their masters," he
gave me a level look, "unless it happens again."
I was sitting at my desk reviewing our next mission when Obi-
Wan came out of his room and moved towards the door. Putting
down the pad I said evenly, "Padawan there is something we need
to speak about."
"Can it wait until morning Master, I promised the others I'd
meet them in fifteen minutes."
I studied him. He looked calm and deferential as always, there
was nothing to show that he was about to sneak out of the
Temple, no sign of deception or unease on his face or through
the bond. "No it can't wait." I held his eyes with mine,
"Obi-wan why have you been leaving the Temple without
permission, without even telling me?"
His eyes widened slightly but that was the only sign of
surprise. I was pleased to see that he didn't even consider
lying. "How did you find out Master?"
Moving from behind the desk I sat on the couch and gestured
him to do likewise. "It doesn't matter how Padawan. You have
broken the Rules of Conduct and you have deceived me. I might
have expected this behaviour from a teenager but I had assumed
you were a responsible adult."
Obi-Wan flushed at that and hung his head. I waited for him to
speak but he only shifted in his seat and shrugged.
If I hadn't been so annoyed with him and surprised by his
behaviour I would have smiled at the return of a much younger
Obi- Wan squirming with speechless shame at the discovery of a
misdemeanour. "You must tell me why Padawan." The embarrassment
deepened. "What is wrong? This is not like you. Surely you can
tell me?"
He put his head in his hands then seemed to collect himself
and looked at me for the first time. "It's just so
embarrassing."
"Obi-Wan you should know that you can tell me anything. I'm
too old to be shocked." Why did the young always think the
previous generation were prudes? I poured us both wine and he
took it in some surprise. "I think, under the circumstances, we
might be permitted to indulge. Now tell me."
He took a gulp of wine, "It sounds so silly. We were looking
for....I don't know excitement, variety." His face was still
faintly flushed.
"You were looking for sexual partners." I said it calmly and
his eyes snapped to mine. "Padawan you know the rules. You may
experiment as much as you like within the Temple precincts but
the city is out of bounds." I watched his reactions closely.
"How did you know?" he asked again.
"How did I know you had gone outside? Or how did I know why
you went?"
"Both."
"You were seen and recognised." I smiled at his start of
surprise, the young always think they are infallible. "And as
to the why, do you think you are the first? Considering the
places you were frequenting the conclusion was fairly obvious."
At that he blushed even more, it is never pleasant to realise
that you have been obvious when you think you are being so
clever.
"I am sorry Master. It wont happen again."
"No it wont. Do you realise you could all have been severely
punished Padawan, and you will be if it happens again." Now
came the hard part. "Why did you feel the need to go outside
the temple for partners?" His eyes slid away from mine and he
stared at his glass. "Don't tell me you have worked your way
through all the available options?" I allowed a note of
amusement to enter my voice.
He turned the glass between his fingers. "Most of the other
padawans seem so young." Obi-Wan looked up at me a trace of wry
amusement showing in his eyes. "This sounds really sordid."
"And frequenting bars isn't?" I raised an eyebrow. "Obi-wan
you are not restricted to other padawans, there are knights and
other Jedi in the Temple. And there is always your Master."
The words fell between us and just lay there. The role of
master is more than teacher and protector. A master is also
supposed to guide his or her padawan in the entire range of
life experiences. Of course sexuality is always a difficult
subject and some master/padawan pairs are clearly not
compatible but when they are it is expected that the master
will educate the padawan in this area as in all others.
Beyond answering such questions that an adolescent Obi- Wan
had brought to me it is an area that I have avoided but as Mace
pointed out it was my duty to put my Padawan's needs before my
own. I was expected to ensure that Obi-Wan's sexual needs were
provided for just as his nutritional or educational needs were.
The fact that I wanted a closer relationship with him, that I
dreaded the effect of mere physical release on the development
of a closer, deeper relationship was irrelevant.
I reached along our training bond but he was closed to me, a
sure sign of distress. "You were going to the bars tonight?" He
nodded unhappily. "Then I take it that means you were unable to
find someone in the Temple you wished to lie with."
"It isn't like that Master. If I am just looking for casual
sex it seems kinder not to use someone I know."
That sounded like my Padawan I could not imagine him willingly
hurting anyone. "If your need is so great that you are willing
to flout the rules but unwilling to approach anyone in the
Temple it is clearly my responsibility to assist you."
I moved to sit beside him and reached to pull his tunic off.
"Master?"
"If you are caught again it will reflect badly on both of us.
It is something we need to deal with." I kept my emotions
firmly locked away and my voice calm.
He was bare to the waist and, although I intended to deal with
this in as dispassionate a manner as possible, I allowed myself
one indulgence and bent to gently bite and then lick his
nipple. A shudder ran through him and he sounded agitated.
"Master what are you doing?"
"I am providing you with the physical relief you intended to
seek with a stranger." My hands moved to undo his trousers.
"Raise your hips Padawan." I spoke in my usual training voice
and he responded automatically.
"Master....please...I don't think....I don't want you to do
this."
I took his fully erect penis in my hand. "You don't want this?
I don't believe you my Padawan." I closed my fingers around him
and began stroking firmly running my thumb across the slick
crown. His hands grabbed at my shoulders and for a moment he
was pushing me away then the sensations caused by my hand
tipped him over the edge and he shuddered as the orgasm raced
through him. I held him in a loose embrace until the shudders
stopped then I went to fetch a towel to clean my hand and his
stomach.
When I returned he had curled into a ball with knees drawn to
his chest and arms wrapped around them. His face was hidden. I
sat down, "Here, Padawan let me clean you."
He shifted away from me. "Why did you do that?" His voice was
muffled and shook a little, his mind was closed tight.
"Obi-Wan it's only a bodily function like any other. I was
simply attending to..."
"Attending to my bodily needs." He lifted his head and stared
at me, face tight with distress, eyes glinted with unshed
tears. He fairly spat the words, "How would you like it.. Oh I
forgot, you're a master so you can control yourself." The
bitterness was shocking, "And besides you can choose your
partners. Nobody cares about the feelings of a lowly padawan.
Nobody cares how much they are humiliated."
Emotions were leaking through the bond, anger and sheer misery
and I had caused them. "Padawan it intended to help not to
humiliate." I reached out to lay a hand against his face but he
jerked away from me.
His avoidance of my touch cut to my soul. Tears of anger and
frustration were spilling down his face now and the misery was
clear to see. In a low breaking voice he whispered "The man I
want, the man I dream about is out of my reach. And then he
takes the very thing I would give to him and it is just a
chore, a distasteful duty to him."
How could we both be so blind? We lived together, worked
together trusted each other with our lives, were bonded mind to
mind and yet neither of us saw the emotion, the desire in the
other. And now he was reduced to this haze of pain and despair
by my ill timed and uncharacteristic decision to follow the
advice of the Council. I pulled him into my arms and held him,
opening the bond to allow remorse and affection and a tendril
of desire to seep through to him. When he stopped shaking I
held him away from me and wiped away those tears that were so
unlike my padawan.
"Helping you is never a chore Obi-Wan and touching you is
anything but distasteful." I held his head between my hands and
kissed him. At first he strained to pull away. Sensing that
tenderness would be despised as pity I deepened the kiss and
ran my tongue along his lips demanding entrance. There was a
moment of resistance and then he opened to me and we were
feeding on each other like vampires.
His hands were tearing at my clothing, reaching in to make a
long possessive sweep from shoulder to hip. I was making my own
inventory of a body so well known to me from training and from
tending to it's illnesses and injuries but now suddenly
unfamiliar, as though a switch had been thrown that revealed a
completely new reality.
He pulled away and flung my words back at me. "Raise your hips
Master." I responded immediately as he had and was rewarded by
a gaze of pure lust as I was exposed to him. He bent and kissed
the top of my cock then licked and sucked and nibbled while I
watched in dazed bemusement. The sight of that tawny head bent
over me was almost as arousing as the touch of his mouth and
hands.
He raised his head slightly and looked at me his expressive
eyes ablaze now with need and the remnants of the hurt I'd
caused him. I laid my hand along his cheek and this time he
leaned into the touch. "Why did you do it Master? You were so
detached, so cold."
"That is the way the rules say it should be done, remember it
is not meant to be an act of love but one of assistance. And
besides," I said running my thumb over his lips, "I had to be
detached or I would have thrown you on the floor and ravished
you."
His face lit up at that, "Sounds like fun." Holding my gaze he
slithered from the couch to the shaggy rug that was spread
before the window. Kneeling in the golden glow of the lamplight
he held his hand out to me, a perfect vision of masculine
beauty and seduction. "Aren't you going to join me Master?
After all it was your idea." Laying back he rubbed sensuously
against the soft fibres rolling on to his stomach and looking
teasingly over his shoulder, "The ravishing I mean."
I moved to join him bringing several cushions with me.
Kneeling beside him I reached out and lifted him on to my knee
wrapping my arms around him. He turned his head, kissed me hard
then whispered "Qui-Gon, fuck me." The sound of my name spoken
in that deep cultured voice made husky by desire sent my
thoughts spinning and all my blood south. Taking his cock in my
hands this time I caressed and teased until it was again satin
clad steel. When I felt the moisture at the tip I gathered it
on my fingers and then leaning back I reached for my own
erection and spread the moisture, coaxing until I had gathered
more.
Obi-Wan leaned forward until he was resting on his elbows and
he spread his legs so that his knees were bracketing mine. I
kissed his hip, his buttocks, biting gently and ran my tongue
slowly down to my target slicking and probing while he writhed
beneath me sighing and murmuring encouragement. I got the
distinct impression he had done this before, but then so had I.
"Now Qui-Gon...please...I want you."
His voice spun a web desire that drew me to him and
positioning myself I used my other hand to pull him back to me.
Slowly, steadily I sank into him watching for any sign of
distress but he only smiled at me over his shoulder and sighed,
"So good."
I bent to place one arm around his chest and raised him until
he was sitting on my lap impaled on my erection. He leaned
against me rubbing back and forth against my skin and slowly
rotating and lifting his hips. We stayed like that for an
eternity moving together in a languid sensual dance. Our
fingers intertwined around his cock, my lips on his neck until
the tension built and lightning flashed through us. I felt
Obi-Wan begin to tremble, his head fell back onto my shoulder.
"Qui-Gon" he moaned and shuddered as his release raced through
him. For a long moment he became absolutely still then he
sighed, "Master" and collapsed against me. As my own orgasm
ripped through me I tightened my hold on him and let out along
groaning breath.
We slid to the floor together still joined and I kissed along
his shoulder and bit gently on his neck. I murmured "Obi-Wan,"
then I was caught in his kiss.
After a time he turned in my arms. Looking into his eyes I
could see the love but also the fear, fear that I was going to
brush this aside. "Where do we go from here Master?"
"Bath and then I want you in my bed."
That raised a chuckle and he settled his head on my shoulder.
"You know what I mean. Will this cause a problem?"
I rubbed my cheek across his head drinking in the scent of
him. "Not as long as we are discreet and it doesn't affect our
training relationship."
He looked up at me with a laughing pout. "You mean no wild sex
in the meditation garden."
"Exactly and no inappropriate behaviour at diplomatic
briefings." I teased stroking the silky skin on his flank.
"This should strengthen our bond but we need to be careful not
to allow it to colour our responses. As long as we don't force
them to take notice the Council will leave us to our own
devices."
Obi-Wan was moving his hips across mine. "Well I'm not in
favour of public demonstrations of affection in general and I
can't see you being an exhibitionist so we shouldn't have any
problems." He grinned at me and nudged my reawakening cock with
his hip. "Now how do you feel about wild sex in the bath?"
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