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Repairs - continued

(continued from part 3)

Qui-Gon sat alone in his chambers. Anakin had been taken off to the initiates wing, the Council having decided to allow him to train as any other initiate and be taken as a padawan at thirteen, like everyone else.

Anakin's shocking announcement had caused quite a stir, and Qui-Gon grimaced as he remembered the grilling he had received from the council. He had explained about the kiss he and Obi-Wan had shared in the common room, and how he had stormed into Padme's quarters and retrieved Obi-Wan to their own sleeping chambers.

He had not mentioned the events after that. He didn't consider that the Council's business, and since Anakin had admitted that all he had seen was a kiss, he wasn't pressed on the matter.

Relations between masters and of-age apprentices was not forbidden, and it was obvious that Anakin had been jaded by his slavery and had misinterpreted the whole situation. Mace Windu had explained it to him, and the boy looked much relieved. He offered a hasty apology to Qui-Gon before being whisked away to the initiate's wing.

Once the boy was gone. Qui-Gon had to explain to the council that his bond with Obi-Wan had all but disappeared, having been blocked so thoroughly from his Padawan's side. He had told them a half truth, that this had been the case since he had found Anakin.

As a result, Qui-Gon could not tell them where his padawan had gone. They got word that a guard had seen Obi-Wan leave the Temple grounds, but no further information was known.

His apprentice had effectively disappeared.

Qui-Gon reigned in his worry and tried to relax. Obi-Wan Kenobi was a very strong young man, he was in no danger. He would return to the Temple once his emotions were reigned in. Of this, Qui-Gon was sure.

The Jedi master poured himself a glass of wine and settled down with a book. Feeling the pages beneath his fingers, smelling the aged parchment, these things always soothed him when he was agitated.

Hours later found him still on the couch in the common room, book open beside him, wine consumed. He dozed lightly, in a sitting position, waiting for his apprentice to come home.

Finally, very early in the morning, or very late at night, depending on one's perspective, he heard a voice, and instantly he shot awake and looked around. He hadn't heard the door. Hadn't heard anything at all. But clear as day, he now listened as someone said something very strange:

"Ben, no wait. Just...Stand there, a moment. I want to get a look at you."

Qui-Gon looked around, confused. Who the hell was 'Ben?' And who was speaking? Finally he realized something very weird. The voice was coming from his clothes.

What the...?

He searched in his belt and pulled out his commlink. The light was flashing, signaling an open frequency. Someone had accidentally called his com, but he hadn't answered. The only person who had automatic clearance on his com was Obi-Wan. Anyone else would just cause a beep and Jinn would have to manually respond. But this person...it wasn't Obi-Wan.

Fear struck him. Had Obi-Wan been injured? Had someone stolen his commlink and pressed the button that would automatically connect him to his master?

Thunderous _expression in place, Qui-Gon went to press the talk button and stopped abruptly as a the voice spoke again.

"Turn around. Ben, you're perfect. You're...Beautiful."

Qui-Gon hesitated. What in the Hells is going on, there?

As much as his curiosity longed to listen in, Qui-Gon again went to respond. But as his finger grazed the button, a new voice came through the small device, a very familiar voice.

"Hugh, make love to me. Show me I'm worth something other than a hard, fast claiming."

Qui-Gon's mouth went dry and his eyes flew open almost comically. He stared at the commlink as if it were a huge, black bug.

That was Obi-Wan. HIS Obi-Wan. Asking someone to...

No, surely not. Surely it just sounded like Obi-Wan. But no one sounded like Obi-Wan, his voice was very distinctive.

Disgusted with himself yet unable to move, he listened to the voices and shuffling movement sounds coming from his commlink:

"Yes, oh, yes, Ben. You are worth it, you are."

Ben? This Ben is my Obi-Wan? Suddenly Qui-Gon remembered that Obi-Wan's brother called him 'Ben'. Shuffling sounds emanated from the comm, followed by throaty moans that made Qui-Gon's blood rise. Before he could process any more thoughts, that beautiful lilting voice spoke again.

"Prepare me for you, Hugh. I want you inside me. Be gentle, I've only done this once, and he was not so large as you."

He's talking about me! Qui-Gon thought, indignant. Qui-Gon knew he was very large for a human. Just who had Obi-Wan gotten himself involved with, anyway?

Qui-Gon continued to listen, and thoughts of who fled his mind. He listened as Obi-Wan was taken, quite thoroughly, from the sound of it. Every moan, every grunt, every word of encouragement fueled his jealousy and anger. He didn't love Obi-Wan, not in the way his padawan professed to love him. How could he, after what had happened with Xanatos? Qui-Gon had learned his lesson on what feeling for your padawan in that way could do.

But Obi-Wan was HIS, and no one else deserved to touch him. He had nurtured him, trained him, sheltered him, and sacrificed for him. His anger built to a fever pitch, and the wine glass flew from the end table to shatter against the wall.

Qui-Gon's emotions swirled darkly around him, and he wanted to destroy something else. Just as he reached out with the Force to demolish a statuette Obi-Wan had given him for his naming day several years before, his ears registered an exchange that stopped him:

"Are you sure, Ben? You could take me instead, you know."

"Maybe I will, later. Yes, Hugh, I'm sure. I...I need this. I need...to replace...I need to replace bad with good, Hugh. Will you be good for me, my friend?"

"I will try, Ben. I will try."

Qui-Gon sat heavily on the couch, head in his hands. He had caused this. He had hurt Obi-Wan, driven him away to seek something his master couldn't give him. He had made Obi-Wan go so far as have sex with someone he probably just picked up in a bar somewhere, someone that would be gentle and caring with him just to get a piece of the beauty and sensuality that was Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He sat with the commlink clutched in his hands and forced himself to listen as another man took his padawan. Obi-Wan's moans rang out in the still air, mingling with those of his partner. His sounds were joyful, not strained as they had been with Qui-Gon. When he shouted out to his partner to fuck him, Qui-Gon's hand clenched painfully, nails digging into his palm.

Long minutes later, the deed was done and the two lovers traded endearments before going to sleep. Qui-Gon shut his commlink off, numbness settling over him.

Jealousy ran through him, but he found it hard to be angry with his apprentice. He would make it up, somehow. He would make Obi-Wan speak to him about what happened on the ship. They would work this out. They had to. Their training relationship depended on it. They couldn't be an effective Jedi team with this hanging over them.

But it wasn't because he loved Obi-Wan. No, it wasn't that.

Qui-Gon curled up on the couch and fell into sleep, Obi-Wan's words echoing in his head:

"I need to replace bad with good....Will you be good for me..."

Qui-Gon decided he had to try to be good for Obi-Wan...And hoped it wasn't too late.

''So, tell me, Hugh...What's wrong with you?''

Hugh stared at Ben, confused. Dawn poured into the small room over Garl's bar, bathing the two men with gold. Hugh propped his head on his hand, drowsy and ready for a shower.

"Wrong with me? What do you mean?'' Had his lover's sweet personality merely been a ruse? Surely not. He would have picked up on such a thing empathetically.

Before his worry went further, Ben added, ''Well, you're just too good to be true. So, what is it, do you have...'' Ben reached across the bed, running his hand through Hugh's hair. ''A boyfriend? A wife? A homicidal streak? Crabs?"

Ben joked, but Hugh could tell there was a serious worry hidden in the humor.

Hugh responded softly. ''Nope, I'm afraid what you see is what you get. I could ask you the same thing, Ben." Mock horror crossed his face. "Oh, no, please don't tell me you're one of those high and mighty Jedi, come to slum with us commoners?''

Hugh clutched his hand to his breast and fell back on the bed, a parody of a faint. Ben laughed and pounced on the huge man, kissing him urgently.

''Some of us are higher...'' A slow, searching kiss. "And mightier...'' Ben ran a hand down to stroke Hugh's half-hard length. "Than others..."

Ben launched a full attack on Hugh then, using teeth, lips, hands, and groin, giving no quarter, requesting none.

There would be time for talking later.

MUCH later.

Qui-Gon woke slowly, his brain fuzzed and mouth gummy. Grimacing, he rolled to his side and groaned. Vague memories of a third hour raid on his liquor cabinet pummeled his numb thoughts, and he scowled at himself.

When the going gets tough, the tough get...plastered?

His own patheticness wound around him, immobilizing him more effectively than any force bonds could. Snippets of phantom sounds assailed him, imaginary re-creations of the moans and sultry murmurs Obi-Wan had uttered last night.

Obi-Wan.

HIS Obi-Wan.

HIS.

Jealousy ripped through him as he played the noises of his padawan fucking some stranger...

Or, worse, maybe not a stranger? Maybe someone he has known, but kept from me?

That thought agitated Jinn even more. His apprentice, with his self-pity and childish upset at not having his master screw him the way he wanted it, crying on some guy's shoulder...Probably some vulture who kept acquaintance with Obi-Wan in the hopes of getting into the beautiful young Jedi's pants someday.

All the guilt and remorse Qui-Gon had felt the day before crawled back into a small dark corner of his brain. Jealousy and indignant anger flooded in to take their rightful place, superceding all but the smallest scrap of his mind that still, on some level, knew he was not the victim here.

That idea was outvoted and cast aside to be dealt with later, once Kenobi was back where he belonged.

Qui-Gon hoisted himself up dizzily and dragged himself to the shower, contemplating just how he could go about tracking down his wayward apprentice.

As he lathered himself up, unashamedly bringing himself off to the memory of Obi-Wan's tight little body writhing beneath him, the answer came to him. He smiled as he climaxed, knowing his padawan would be returned to him in time for them to have mid-meal together.

Hugh stretched languidly, gazing down at this rather strange character he had spent the night with. Ben was sweet, gentle, intelligent, and passionate...But also unusual, in a good way. Hugh could honestly say he'd never met anyone like him, and he knew he didn't want them to part ways yet.

But, realistically, Ben was Jedi. Would he seriously consider taking up a relationship with an airbus driver? Hugh smiled, remembering Ben's reply when he had skirted the subject earlier: "Well, we're both public servants." Said with an impish smile that shot straight to his nether regions. Hugh had kissed Ben then, if only to stop him from beginning a point by point breakdown of the similarity between their respective jobs.

Hugh knew that list would be short.

Very short.

At their essence, though, Hugh pondered, they did seem to have a lot in common. Their personalities, life philosophies, political views, and views toward intimacy and the physical _expression of such were all so similar as to be nearly identical.

They did have a significant age difference, what with Hugh being 35 standard years old to Ben's 25.

When the big Orellian had brought this up, Ben had shot him an almost pained _expression as he turned away to fidget with the bedcovers. Softly, his cultured voice had commented, "Ten years, that's nothing. That's nothing at all..."

Hugh got the impression that Ben was comparing his age to someone else's, but the smile had vanished from Ben's face, and the older man decided to drop the subject then and there.

Ben had other ideas as he turned back and snuggled against the bigger man, lying his head on the furry chest, running his hands through Hugh's thick hair.

That was when the story of Ben's master had flooded out of him.

That was when Hugh felt the anguish rising off his new lover in waves of self-guilt and self-blame.

That was when Hugh suddenly had an overwhelming urge to find this anonymous Jedi master and beat the living shit out of him.

And, Hugh realized with a start, that was when he fell in love.

Qui-Gon Jinn climbed the somewhat rickety stairs leading up to the loft, a slight look of disdain on his face. An apartment over a bar? THAT is where his padawan had retreated to?

Convenient, I must admit. Pick someone up, bring them up here. Ingenious, really.

The thought that Obi-Wan had been manipulated by some bar-trolling slut bothered him, but the placement of the room to the bar could not have been a coincidence. As Qui-Gon neared the door, he heard voices within, immediately confirming that he had indeed tracked down his padawan.

He thanked the Force that his apprentice had been too occupied to remember that his comm link, while activated on open frequency, could be used as a homing device.

Jinn listened to the voices for a moment, waiting for a break. His chance came as he heard a door close and the tell-tale sound of old pipes creaking into life. Obi-Wan muttered something faintly heard through the door, confirming that it was the other man in the fresher, and Qui-Gon made his move.

The locking mechanism in the door yielded immediately to his Force manipulation, and he strode into the room, surprising Obi-Wan, who gasped.

Obi-Wan had one leg of his leggings on, and promptly tripped over the other as his attention shifted to his towering master.

Qui-Gon resisted the urge to assist his student, instead opting to stand, hands folded into his robes, blank look assessing the room.

"Master?" Obi-Wan said, finally gaining his feet and whisking his clothes on with alacrity. He reached down to grab his comm link, a look of shock coming over him as he saw that it was on. He realized now what he had trod upon last night, and closed his eyes briefly, unwilling to entertain the possible ramifications of this.

Turning his comm off and strapping it to his belt, Obi-Wan took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He then drew himself up and approximated his usual 'Padawan of Steel' pose. The rumpled clothes spoiled the effect, but the man in them still managed to appear relaxed and unconcerned.

Qui-Gon looked him up and down for a moment, then nodded. "Come, Padawan. We are needed at the Temple."

Obi-Wan hesitated, eyes flickering toward the fresher. "But --"

"NOW, Padawan!" His irritation surfaced for a split second, and he turned to the exit and strode out, not looking back, knowing Obi-Wan would obey.

Obi-Wan glanced once more at the fresher, uncertain. Ultimately, he knew what he had to do.

"Yes, master," he whispered to no one, and followed the older man out the door, closing it regretfully behind him.

"All I know is his first name. Ben."

Hugh thought he remembered Ben giving his last name, but he couldn't remember it. At the time, he'd thought the man was merely someone to share a few drinks with, and details had not mattered.

The Temple secretary looked at the plainly dressed man dubiously.

"We have over ten-thousand Jedi here, sir. There may be more than one with that first name, although it is not a common one. Do you have any more for me to go on?" Her fingers poised over the data screen, waiting for more information.

"Umm...Well, he's a human. He's an apprentice, not a knight."

"That helps, one moment." She fed the stats into the reader, and came back with several hits. "Anything else? Height? Weight? Eye color...?"

Hugh brightened a bit. "Height, well, average I suppose, under six feet. Weight, I've no clue. Eye color...?" Hugh pondered this. "Well...Blueish-greenish-greyish?" He shrugged. "Sorry, they change." His look was sheepish. "He is 25 standard and has reddish, brownish, blondish hair..." He continued, hopefully.

The secretary glanced at him with a look that said her patience was wearing thin. She muttered, "Light eyes, light hair, then. Human Padawan, Twenty-five..." She muttered softly as her fingers flew. A few moments passed and her efforts were rewarded with a beep and a message on the data screen: 'One Record Found.'

She turned the screen and pulled up the info so the visitor could see it. "Is this him, then?"

Hugh stared at a picture of one 'Benton Cortallis', a human male, with dark red hair and light eyes.

"Umm. No." Hugh could not hide his disappointment. Unlike the Jedi, he had not been socialized to contain his emotions, and the sadness leaked out of him strongly enough for even the stoic secretary to soften her tone a bit.

"Perhaps he gave you a nickname, then? Are you sure he is Jedi?" The big man nodded and the secretary lowered her voice. "Did he ever mention any missions he's been on recently? Strictly, we're not supposed to disclose such information to civilians, but..." Her voice lowered even more. "Most of us do, anyway." She winked.

Hugh brightened. "Yes! Yes, he told me about how his master..." Hugh cleared his throat as he realized what he had almost said. "Um, he told me he and his master had just returned from someplace called Naboo." A shrug. "Never heard of it, myself."

The secretary brightened. "Surely you don't mean Obi-Wan Kenobi? Although the description does fit..." She punched up the record quickly, pondering at how this man seemed to be looking for someone she actually KNEW. Out of hundreds of active padawans...

But then, she smiled to herself, Obi-Wan knows a LOT of people, and EVERYONE knows him, or of him. He passed through her station on a daily basis when he was in Temple, and always stopped to chat or give her a sample of his latest cooking experiment, which she dutifully choked down so as not to hurt his feelings.

Turning the screen once more, she watched the man's face light up in a boyishly joyful _expression as he scrutinized the beautiful face that had materialized on the screen next to Ben's personal information. "Yes! Yes, that's him!" He laughed with relief.

The thought of not being able to find Ben had gnawed at him for hours, ever since he had walked out of the fresher to find the other man gone.

He didn't want to bother Ben, but he did want to make sure the young Jedi was ok. Yes, that's all this is. Just want to make sure he's alright, Hugh lied to himself.

The secretary looked up at this extremely tall man who now radiated happiness. Obi-Wan has himself an admirer, she thought. A very tall, large admirer. Her smile crept up picturing the two together. Kenobi would look like a child next to this huge man.

She smiled at him. "And you're right about his eyes. They are...quite unusual. Almost as unusual as Obi-Wan himself."

Hugh grinned at her, inwardly agreeing. "So, can I go in and see him? Or does he need to come out to see me? Can I talk to him?"

She held up her hand and began typing once more. Her face fell a bit and she glanced back up at the man. "Well, normally he would have to come out to see you, we don't allow civilians inside the Temple..."

He caught the tone and digested the words. "Normally?"

"Yes. I'm afraid he isn't here now. He and his master left mere minutes ago on a mission. I have no indication here of how long they will be."

Hugh's jaw tightened. The idea of Ben going off who-knows-where with the man who had...hurt him like that... Master or not, Hugh didn't like it. But he knew there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

The secretary stared at him a moment longer. "If you like, you can leave me your name and comm information and I can send a message to his personal mailbox requesting he contact you on his return...?"

Hugh sighed. It was the best alternative. He nodded, disconsolate. "Yes, thank you." He wrote down his contact info on a data slate and handed it to her. On impulse, he reached out and grabbed the Jedi's hand, bringing her fingers up to his lips as he bowed down. He kissed her fingers softly. "I appreciate your help. You have a good day, now."

He released her hand and walked away, aware he had minimal time to get to work. He pondered calling in ill, but his sense of duty and honesty prevailed.

Behind him, a bemused Jedi sat shaking her head, staring at her hand. Lucky bastard. She thought. Why do all the good ones like other men?! The woman went about her daily business as she pondered that age old question.

Padme sat at her desk, unashamedly listening to the two Jedi argue in their cabin. The trip back to Naboo had been a spur of the moment one, and evidently Obi-Wan and Master Jinn had issues that couldn't wait for their return to Coruscant. At least Anakin had remained at the Temple to begin his training, and therefor was spared the tension that was pervasive throughout the ship.

The Trade Federation's sudden withdrawal of the blockade had been a shock to the young queen, although not as much as it had seemed to shock Naboo's senator. Palpatine had seemed not only surprised but almost...Angry. Probably because I refused to call for a vote of no confidence in Finis. Why would Palpatine think I would do such a thing in the first place? He oozes sliminess and at least Finis is a good and honest man. Too honest to have ended up Chancellor. She smiled. Valorum had been a lifelong friend of her fathers', making frequent visits to their home on Naboo over the years.

After Palpatine's suggestion, she had gone to see Valorum, and somehow he had convinced the Trade Federation that it would be in their best interest to vacate Naboo space as soon as possible. Amidala didn't ask how. In truth, she didn't want to know.

The important thing was that she was on her way back home, and the two Jedi were to accompany her and help restore order to her people.

Her mind drifting back to Obi-Wan, she turned up the volume on the intercom system to hear them more clearly.

"He's a menace!" Obi-Wan's cultured voice was agitated, not quite yelling but definitely raised.

"No, he's a boy. That's all." Qui-Gon, very cool and impersonal. Formal.

"He's a manipulative little brat with such an aura of dark around him that I can barely stand to be within ten feet of him. How can you not sense it?" Obi-Wan's voice softened with concern, and Padme blinked at his assessment of the boy. Obi-Wan sees Ani as a threat? Interesting.

"There is nothing to sense, my padawan. I am more interested in why you feel this darkness when no one else does." Qui-Gon's doubt seemed to irk his apprentice even more.

"Master Yoda felt it. So did Master Windu. They just didn't come out and say it. They show more respect for you than that, though I don't know why, being that you so rarely respect them." Kenobi's tone was hurt and reproachful. It was met with more cool, disinterested words.

"Now you are merely supposing, Obi-Wan. Surely I've taught you better. That aside, you should at least show some loyalty to me, given that I am your master. You may not have come out and said it, but everyone in that room could tell you disagreed with me." The sanction was clear in his voice, a reprimand aimed at the younger man.

Obi-Wan gasped audibly. "Loyalty? You can't be serious, after what you did in there. I can't believe you tried to throw me over for that hellion!" His voice retreated to a bare whisper, and Padme had to strain to hear his next words: "But then, I never thought you'd practically rape me, either, Master."

Padme sat back hard, her worst suspicions confirmed. How could Master Jinn do such a thing? Suddenly feeling ashamed for listening in on this most private discussion, she flipped the switch to cut the transmission. Moving to face the window, she stared into open space, contemplating.

Obi-Wan's accusation seemed to break through Jinn's facade of calm, and he raised his voice to a not-quite shout. "I did NOT rape you, Obi-Wan! I had every reason to think you wanted the same thing I did!" His words took a sinister, jibing turn, the venom in them leaking through the room. "But for someone who supposedly saved himself for me all these years, you fast acquired a taste for being fucked. Quickly enough to go whoring yourself to strangers in bars the first chance you got."

Obi-Wan's breath caught and his voice was low and a bit unsteady. "That stranger gave me more emotion in one night than you have in twelve years, Master Jinn. And you have no right to accuse me of anything. You don't know how it feels to have someone you love..."

Obi-Wan stopped mid-sentence. He knew he wasn't being fair, and saying untruths just to hurt his master was something he didn't have in him. Qui-Gon did know what it felt like to be betrayed by someone you loved. Xanatos had proven to be a master at it.

Qui-Gon stepped over to him and put his hands on the shorter man's shoulders. Finding no resistance, he pulled Obi-Wan close to him and held him tightly. Obi-Wan allowed the contact, but did not return it.

"I'm sorry."

The words were soft and carried on a hot breath that tickled Obi-Wan's ear. He nodded slightly, unable to speak.

"When I heard you and...And that other man...It nearly killed me, Obi-Wan. I became so jealous, I feared for my sanity. Why would I do that, do you suppose?"

Obi-Wan knew then that his comm link had broadcast everything to his master, and he had unwittingly punished the older man most harshly for his shortcomings. Although unintentional, Kenobi still felt badly that Qui-Gon had heard. "I am sorry, Master. I stepped on my comm, I didn't realize until you came to get me...I would never have chosen for you to hear that. I may have been upset, and I may still be, but I am not that cruel."

Qui-Gon smiled against his padawan's hair. "I know you're not. It's one of the things I lo..." He cleared his throat. "It's one of the things I admire about you."

Obi-Wan caught the brief slip-up and smiled. Perhaps things would work out after all. Perhaps he really could forgive his master for his blocking their bond to the extent that he had been unable to realize Obi-Wan's wants and needs, resulting in the violation if his body without his true consent. Perhaps Qui-Gon DID love him, in his own way.

But was that enough? The man couldn't even say it, let alone admit it to himself. Was that worth spending additional months or years cultivating?

A few days ago, Obi-Wan would have said yes, yes, enthusiastically yes! But now, he thought of other lips and hands, another soft deep voice, telling him how much he was worth.

Now, he thought of Hugh, and his answer was different. With a jolt, he realized the answer just might be 'No.'

(to be continued)