Master Apprentice
Archive
Remembering
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Category: Angst, Qui/Obi
Rating: PG
Summary: Part 1: Just before AOTC, Anakin gets a clue, flashbacks ensue. Part 2: Fifteen years prior to AOTC, Qui-Gon wakes up to a few things.
Disclaimer: If the boys were mine, they’d be way more leather, but they’re George’s.
Feedback: It’s my addiction, and I don’t want rehab.
Notes: There’s as little Anakin as possible, but he is necessary for the story.
Archive: Everybody, just e-mail me to say you have
Part 1
It was today, one of the worst days of his life happened on this date ten years ago, but nobody marked it, ever.
There were the usual physical and mental activities Master Obi-Wan laid on his shoulders, a man who was never meant to be his teacher, he was meant to finish with Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and Qui-Gon was to teach him. He still felt the pain that thought always caused him and his current mentor, especially Obi-Wan.
To comfort himself, he thought of when Qui-Gon was alive and thought of the way he and Obi-Wan looked together, the contentment in each other’s company, the in-depth knowledge of each other, the hand holding.
Hand holding?
Yes, now he remembered the very discreet hand holding, and the way they didn’t look quite as happy when they were out of each other’s company, and Obi-Wan’s extreme grief at his teacher’s passing, the instant rage it caused helping him to cut down a Sith Lord. He had heard people discussing that in the Temple.
Obi-Wan was talking to him, he must have made all the right noises as the Jedi Knight nodded his head and began to leave the room. Now was his chance, he didn’t see why, but he had to know.
“What happened between you and Master Qui-Gon?”
He hadn’t meant to be that direct, but it had stopped Obi-Wan dead in his tracks, he liked finally ruffling Obi-Wan’s exterior, liked it a lot.
“I was his padawan, as you are mine”
“That’s not exactly true is it?”
"Well I certainly concentrated more on my studies than you have ever shown yourself capable"
"I meant something more personal"
“What is it you want me to say Anakin?”
“Were you and Qui Gon lovers?”
Obi-Wan started walking again, Anakin began to ask his question over and over, suddenly yearning for truth, until on the 1000th asking, his master snapped.
“Yes alright, he was the love of my life and I lost him, I didn’t mean to. I know I could’ve saved him. I know I could, I know it, I….”
That was it; the great Obi-Wan Kenobi slumped to the floor in an ocean of grief, barely aware of his apprentice, thinking of happier times, of the best day of his life….
Part 2
Qui-Gon Jinn, the tall and reserved Jedi Master, was observing his apprentice during one of his levitation practices. He was thinking about how the boy had progressed over the years, to the man he was now. The skills that had been honed by his own brain and hands (with a little help from the Force) had made him completely forget the disaster of his last padawan. Obi-Wan was his legacy, admired by peers of both men, and would be for decades to come, long after his teacher was dead.
Qui-Gon was only just noticing how much in the man there was to admire, oh he was handsome, but he was also brave, intelligent, funny and wise in the Force. He knew he was thinking in a way Masters shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it, and realised it had been this way for longer than he would dare consider. He had been drawn to Obi-Wan unconsciously from the moment they’d met, and Obi-Wan to him, he’d never pondered exactly how unusual that was before, and how potent the draw had been.
“Master?”
Damn, he’d been caught, but it didn’t seem to matter much anymore, might as well plunge on.
“Are you happy Obi-Wan?”
“What do you mean?” The speaker put down the object he’d been using and started towards his mentor.
“I’m not sure actually now that I’ve said it, call it a lesson in thought before speech”
“Why?” Obi-Wan had felt a change in his relationship with Qui-Gon, the warmth slowly being replaced with a heat so intense both would explode if they didn’t do something about it, as they were now starting towards each other, now might be the time.
“Because anything else would be too…”
“Dangerous?”
“Yes”
“That’s never stopped you before”
“You mean too much to risk unnecessarily”
“Do I?”
“Yes”
They were only centimetres apart now, but it still felt far too much, then it happened, mouths and hands delving everywhere that had been forbidden only by inaction. They could never remember who had moved first, and debate had only led to more of what was starting in these moments, the time together that would never be enough. Both moved quickly towards the bedroom, the door was then shut, for the ultimate privacy that in an ideal universe would only be used for true love.
It had been two hours since Obi-Wan’s initial loss of control, and Anakin was sorry for the depth of emotion he had made resurface by his persistence, but his master seem to be calming down enough to talk again.
“So that’s why you got so upset when Qui-Gon said you were ready for the Trials, you thought he’d tired of you”
“For a brief time, but by the end all had been forgotten, we were trying to work out how to stay together”
“Did the Council ever find out?”
“Yoda and Windu, but they didn’t tell anyone”
“I’m glad… and I’m glad you were able to train me”
With that Obi-Wan suddenly remembered who he was; he straightened up, the earlier distress unnoticeable. “We’ve wasted a lot of time today padawan, tomorrow we will begin an hour early”
“Yes Master” Anakin started towards his room, but thinking of Padme Amidala, and the way she filled his heart, turned back.
“It must be hard, remembering” then Anakin went.
“More than you’ll ever know, I hope”