Series/Sequel: It's a stand-alone, but technically could come
before my current series time-wise ("Touch", "Mortal Wounds",
"Scorched" and "Boundaries").
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan (O-W is about 20)
Rating: PG, pre-slash, angst and eroticism. No smut (sorry!)
this time around.
Spoilers for TPM: None
Archive: OK to SWAL and Master/Apprentice; all others, please
ask.
Feedback: Yes, pretty please! On-list or privately, detailed or
short -it inspires me.
Summary: Qui-Gon faces up to the truth about the nature of his
relationship with his Padawan.
"Sense his feelings, you do." Yoda spoke with firm certainty.
"Dangerous, this is." He looked up at Qui-Gon Jinn, who seemed
to loom over the diminutive Jedi Master despite the fact he was
kneeling on the brilliantly colored mosaic tile floor. "The boy
is not ready. Be stronger, you must. Not so transparent."
Qui-Gon did not even attempt to conceal his thoughts. Yoda's
large blue eyes were like a drill boring straight into him,
drilling down to his most private feelings. "Perhaps I am
transparent to you, Master Yoda, but Obi-Wan has no idea I
know." He paused, then added, "And he is no longer a boy,
Master."
Yoda's eyes narrowed in response to the defiance in Qui-Gon's
tone, and he tapped his cane impatiently on the floor, a sure
sign of his growing agitation. "Always so ready to disobey,
Qui-Gon Jinn. Know the rules, you do. Choose another Padawan,
you should. Why do you not do so? Jeopardize your future, you
will."
"I do what I must, Master." Waves of disapproval and skepticism
from Yoda brought a half-smile to Qui-Gon's face. "Your
ambitions are not mine."
"A Jedi's place is where best he can serve. On the Council, you
should be. Reckless, stubborn, foolish!" Yoda rattled off a
list of Qui-Gon's faults with building vehemence. "Transferred
these qualities to the boy, you have. Ruined his future, too."
"No, Master Yoda, I have not." Qui-Gon stood suddenly,
dignified but out of patience. "Obi-Wan follows his own path.
It is one of his many strengths. I don't know what the future
holds for him, but my immediate future will be as his Master,
and if my decision keeps me from my own advancement, so be it."
Silence shimmered hotly in the circular room as the two Jedi
stared at one another.
Without another word, Qui-Gon bowed to Yoda, and left the room.
Yoda exhaled a deep, resigned sigh, shaking his head in
frustration. "You heard him," he said, apparently speaking to
the open air. "Follow his heart, he will. Treacherous it will
be for them both."
Mace Windu emerged from the shadows where he had concealed
himself before Yoda summoned Qui-Gon. So great was his control
within the living Force that he could hide himself entirely,
revealing no mental or physical evidence of his presence. "He's
right," Windu told Yoda. "Kenobi has no idea Qui-Gon knows.
Qui-Gon has been careful not to reveal his emotions. This isn't
the first time such a thing has happened, you know."
"No." Their eyes met. "Rules there are, to govern it. Expected
it is, for a Padawan to desire his Master. Qui-Gon knows this."
Yoda's words fell heavily, ringing of truth. "Mutual, it is."
Windu nodded in agreement. "That's the reason he will not step
back."
"Dangerous," Yoda said again for emphasis, hoping all the while
he would be proven wrong. Together, the Jedi Masters left the
council chamber.
Qui-Gon pressed the control pad at the entrance to the quarters
he shared with Obi-Wan and entered silently, hoping to avoid
disturbing his Padawan. Obi Wan slept peacefully on his stomach
in a disheveled heap, blankets wound around his legs and waist,
bare limbs sticking out in different directions. He seemed
younger in sleep, and breathtakingly handsome. His mind was at
peace, his convoluted thoughts racing across a serene dream
world, his breathing even and deep. One hand dangled over the
floor just above his lightsaber, an accident of placement.
Qui-Gon's gaze lingered on the younger man, raking the contours
of his body. Instead of detached speculation, what arose in him
was something darker, more disturbing.
He had not expected to be taken to task over the strength of
Obi-Wan's attachment to him. He'd known of it for quite some
time, since Obi-Wan was still a young teenager. There had
always been a connection between them, one so strong it had
transcended even the lack of a Master/Padawan relationship in
the very beginning. Qui-Gon had resisted taking Obi-Wan as his
apprentice, amazed not just by the strength of Obi-Wan's
devotion, but his own reciprocal feelings.
It had been seven years since the hopeful, courageous boy had
accepted Qui-Gon's offer to become his Padawan. In that time,
the boy had become a man, determined, headstrong, skilled...not
unlike Qui-Gon himself. Qui-Gon hesitantly admitted to himself
that Obi-Wan did exhibit some of his more troublesome
traits. Perhaps this explained Yoda's concern.
And perhaps, it did not.
As Qui-Gon undressed in the dim light, fabric rustling like the
sound of leaves blowing together in the treetops, Obi-Wan
stirred. Qui-Gon reached out with the Force and touched his
student's mind, reassuring him.
Recently, Qui-Gon had detected faint stirrings of a powerful
longing in his student. Obi-Wan would avert his eyes at times,
striving to conceal his mind from his Master's, but the
palpable sense of wishful yearning communicated itself clearly.
He overestimated his skill at camouflaging his needs. Under his
Master's scrutiny, Obi-Wan would sometimes become like a sheet
of thin glass, behind which gleamed fevered fantasies of his
Master's body twined with his, of words which could be spoken
aloud without fear of repercussion.
Qui-Gon yanked a sleep tunic over his head and stopped for a
moment, his mind racing. His reaction to those thoughts had
been mild amusement, and he had easily diverted them without
arousing Obi-Wan's suspicions. Try as he might to convince Yoda
that his purpose for refusing to hand Obi-Wan over to another
Master was selfless, Qui-Gon suddenly understood it was a
deception - more of himself than anything else. His own sleep
lately had been filled with renderings he could not
ignore...Obi-Wan's mouth locked against his in possessive
victory, tongues clashing in battle, hands roaming territory
which had previously been the province of eyes alone...
"Master?" A sleepy voice penetrated Qui-Gon's reverie.
Startled, he turned to see Obi-Wan sitting up, wiping sleep
from his eyes. "Is everything all right?"
Qui-Gon was taken aback by the fact that Obi-Wan was
awake...and he hoped his introspection had not somehow
communicated itself to his student. Quickly, he went to the
younger man, pulling down the screens of tranquillity and inner
peace across his face and heart. "All is well, Padawan. Don't
trouble yourself."
Obi-Wan sensed something...and turned his face up toward his
Master with an anxious expression. "Master...?" he pressed,
uncertain. "I feel...something...I don't know..."
"Back to sleep, young apprentice," Qui-Gon said briskly,
manhandling his student back under the sheet so abruptly he had
no time to protest. Qui-Gon's hand rested lightly on top of
Obi-Wan's, the touch communicating comfort and serenity.
Obi-Wan threw his other hand over his Master's and went
immediately to sleep.
For Qui-Gon, sleep was a long time coming, and was filled with
unsettled, troubling dreams.
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