by SlashyDrgn (SlashyDrgn@aol.com or DrgnSentry@aol.com)
Rating: G
Warning(s): none
Type and Pairing(s):
Spoilers: not a one
Category: POV, Pre-Slash
Summery/Notes: Obi-Wan reflects on what he's seen.
Disclaimer: By Lucas they are owned, by me they are borrowed
(and more fun they have)
Archive: Yes to M_A, OKEB, and The Nesting Place
Feedback: would be appreciated
Notes: Just a bit of something that came late at night again.
Thanks to my Beta's Chris, Angel and Holly. Thanks also to TC
for helping with that writer's block.
The room was dark, except for a small candle in the far right
corner that allowed a soft illumination. In the center of the
room was a simple rag rug, placed over wood worn smooth with
age. A motionless figure knelt on the rug near the doorway, and
in front of a large picture window which presented him with one
of the best views on the planet. Had he been looking he would
see a lake that was a clear blue and reflected the sky
perfectly as if it were a mirror. The lights from the city
playing along the edges of the lake allowed for it to look as
if there were two skies separated only by a string of
brightly-lit jewels. It was an image that could bring peace to
any mind and soul especially this night with the stars and
three small moons of the planet in full glory allowing a soft
light to bathe everything. Yet it seemed to be lost on the man
in the room.
Eyes, usually as clear and blue as the lake, were nearly
sightless as he looked within himself. His mind was a turbulent
mass of memories and images. One recurring theme of course was
that of family. He'd never been part of one - not in the
traditional sense. Never had he been a part of what he'd seen
these last few days, and a sadness had struck him as he
realized that he never would be. Never before had he regretted
this decision. Now, he felt regret. . .not regret but of
wistfulness.
He had been left on this planet while his Master went on a solo
mission to one nearby. The two sides not trusting one Jedi, let
alone two, and had insisted that Qui-Gon Jinn come alone.
Obi-Wan had been left here to wait for his Master's return. The
youth hadn't minded this fact, the city being beautiful and his
hosts delightful. The Padawan's thoughts turned to the couple
he was staying with. He'd often been with couples and families
that shared a closeness, but he'd never before had been able to
study it and envy it.
The couple he was staying with amazed the apprentice. The young
woman easily befriended the Jedi, taking him in as she would if
he were her long lost son, even if she was just a few years
older than he was. She was always making sure that Obi-Wan was
settled and ate enough. Elizin would also make sure that he was
left in peace when she knew he would be meditating. For
conversation the woman was sharp and easily kept the younger
man thinking in light hearted debates, and of course filled him
in on any harmless gossip that was about.
Her husband Charric was just as accommodating. He also was not
opposed to having the Padawan help with the chores once he
realized that his guest was sincere. Charric was like his wife
in his ease of conversation, at least in the aspects of his
business and the political atmosphere of the peaceful planet. A
bit quieter and shy when it came to his personal life. He
seemed content enough to let his wife speak of that. It was
clear he often agreed with her and would easily add his own
points when he felt it was important.
It was when husband and wife were together that Obi-Wan truly
envied the pair. As he'd learned, each partner was their own
unique and good person on their own, but together - they became
better. There was an ease in the way the two worked with and
around each other. Obi-Wan had spent the day watching them
under the guise of meditating near them. They had been a
pleasure to watch, much like two Jedi Masters performing an
intricate sword dance. Yet the truly amazing thing to the
apprentice knight was that the pair were completely unawares
that they did it.
The couple easily swung into a rhythm together as they went
about their daily routine, never interfering with each other as
they worked. Often one would be reaching for something, and the
other would easily already be getting it for the other and
handing it off. It was also as if they were finishing each
other's sentences and thoughts. Elizin would be saying one
thing only to stop to fix something, and Charric would easily
pick up the conversation. The Jedi had been amused the first
time that happened and then intrigued as it continued. He was
used to seeing something similar between Master and apprentice
pairs and the Masters at the temple. Still, to watch these two
it was something more a warmth . . .
It was love he'd realized as he'd watched the day go by and
Obi-Wan was fascinated by it, fascinated and a bit envious. The
young man was now settled in the room the couple had given him,
and he was meditating. He was awaiting his Master. Qui-Gon was
due back early in the coming morning, and they would be leaving
soon after. The communiqué had come in before he'd
retired for the night. His initial attempt at sleep had been
rough and uneasy as he went over the days in his stay here.
Soon the restlessness had driven the young man out of his bed,
as he moved to meditate on the floor. The youth spent a late
night and part of a day on that rug, until he came to a sudden
realization.
Qui-Gon loved him.
It had come as a shock to the young man as he began to run over
the last year in particular. All of the times he and Qui-Gon
had been working on exercises together, the way the older man
was able to read the moves of his Padawan, to work in the
younger man's space. It surprised Obi-Wan as he realized that
he was able to do the same with his Master, that they too were
able to seemingly read each other's thoughts, to finish the
other's sentences. The fact they did this wasn't what shocked
him. Obi-Wan knew they shared a bond, different from the couple
he was staying with. Afterall he and Qui-Gon were Master and
apprentice.
The shock came as he thought back to the other things. Little
things much the same he had seen throughout the day between
Elizin and Charric. The tiny things they did for each other,
the simple caresses that transmitted the love they had for each
other without being obvious. The ones no one would notice
unless on the receiving end or looking for them. He'd been
missing these things from his Master. Qui-Gon had been silently
telling him the same things Elizin and Charric told each other.
From the light caresses when just a word would have been
sufficient, to the times when he had not truly listened to his
Master's voice.
Obi-Wan had always known his Master loved him, and he could not
remember a time any longer when he didn't love Qui-Gon. When
the young man looked inside himself, he found one of the
reasons he'd been envious of the couple. He'd never expected to
have the same type of relationship. He'd always believed in the
idea that he would be somewhat of a hermit in the life that he
had chosen. Subconsciously he'd discouraged himself from ever
thinking that he would ever have such a relationship. He'd
never given thought - at least consciously- to having that
bond, let alone with his Master. But when he'd allowed himself
to contemplate it, he couldn't think of anyone he'd rather
share that type of relationship with.
How many times over the year had he dismissed the quiet
touches, the brief unguarded looks? The way his Master was
always there ready for him should he be needed, the same way he
was always ready to be there for Qui-Gon. He finally saw that
the older man was just waiting for him to accept or decline,
but willing to wait until Obi-Wan was ready to notice and to
let him know. There was no hint of pushing, and Obi-Wan knew in
his heart that Qui-Gon would accept either decision, sure to
rejoice in the positive, and willing to accept the negative.
There was no doubt in the Padawan's heart or mind of what the
answer would now be. The young man wiped a tear that had
slipped from his eye as he came to his conclusions. He had all
that he was truly looking for after all, if he was ready to
take it. He looked out the window again, and saw that dawn had
come. The apprentice rotated his head and began to unfold
himself from his position. Qui-Gon would be here soon, and he
wanted to be ready.
A soft knock on the door came even as Obi-Wan was moving to
stand. The young Jedi knowing immediately who it was. "Yes
Master?" he answered, his voice calm as he waited a moment,
turning to face his Master as he entered the room.
Qui-Gon opened the door. The older man's face was soft and
unguarded for a just a moment and Obi-Wan basked in the quiet
knowledge that he was correct in his thoughts. An almost
puzzled look came across the Jedi Master's face as he asked,
"Are you ready Padawan? It's-"
"It's time to go," he finished for the older man as he stood
and took his pack from beside the bed, his tone finally
returning all of the love and warmth he'd misinterpreted from
his Master over the past months or had written off as something
else. As he turned to face his Master again, his own face
allowed the older man a brief glimpse of his own feelings.
Obi-Wan planed to talk with his Master later in the day, and
tell him of his revelations. "Yes Master, I'm ready."
Archive 