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Walking Shadow [QAJ 2.17]

by Emma Grant (emmagrant01@aol.com), Jedi Rita (jedirita@yahoo.com), Elocin Oco(elocin.oco@jedi council.com) and Ms Swift (padawan.kenobi@jedi-council.com)

Rating: NC-17

Summary: The Senate investigation into the Gollin 3 mission begins....

Archive: MA and QAJ

Category: series, AU, Obi/Qui, POV (Qui, Bail, Xan, Obi)

Warnings: This episode describes acts of non-con and chan sex within the context of the hearing.

Series: QAJ 2.17, see http://www.queerasjedi.net for entire series

Disclaimer: Most of these characters belong to other people. Their creators probably wouldn't recognize our versions of them anyway...

Feedback: Sure!

Note: This is the finale to season 2, written by the entire QAJ team. Thanks to all for reading this season and to Helens for her contributions to the season.

Click here for the complete episode list.

(Qui)

I reach and grab at the headboard as Obi intensifies his thrusting into me. I'm on my knees, head forced hard against the end of the bed. He's not normally this rough on me, but I like it. And he needs the release.

His fingers dig deeper into the flesh of my waist, and I try not to wince. If he tightens his grip anymore he'll either bruise me or draw blood. The friction of that hard, incessant motion is beginning to burn, but I've had it rougher. Much rougher.

I hear the rhythm of his breath quickening and I know he's about to come. I curl my fingers around the frame of the bed, bracing myself for that final hard thrust as he releases. I've had mine; he stroked and sucked orgasm from me some time ago. The sex, the penetration has only been for him. I feel the tension in his body even as he pushes, groaning out his release. I'm not sure this has helped.

He collapses onto my back, panting. I feel the warmth of his sweat against my skin. For the briefest of moments he relaxes, then he pulls free and flops down beside me on the bed, silent.

I slide down beside him until we're lying face to face. He avoids my eyes, so I grab him and pull him close. Words would sound trite at this moment, so I just hold him, trying to offer him comfort through the proximity of our bodies. He buries his face against my chest, curiously childlike after the animalistic way he fucked me. I hold him that way for a while, willing him to loosen up. He doesn't. Finally I glance at the chrono over his head, sighing when I see the lateness of the hour. I loosen my hold on him.

"Obi," I say gently. "Better get up and shower. We have to report to the clerk in less than two hours."

He stiffens instantly, and rubs his face vigorously with the heels of his hands. Then after exhaling a long, resigned breath, he slides from the bed. I watch as he walks, shoulders slumped, out of my room and toward the fresher.

I sit up and sigh again. He's been dreading this day, and I can hardly blame him. It's tense for them all; Xan, Siri, Bruck too. But Obi - he knows what they're going to ask him, and he knows he has to talk about it in front of Bail. Xan left us alone last night, and I'm grateful.

The Jedi participants in the hearing have been allotted a private room, close to the committee chamber where the hearing is taking place. I walk there with Obi-Wan. He's disappointed that I won't be able to sit with him, but I've been asked to sit as an official observer on behalf of the Jedi. Obi's barely spoken all morning, and he seems to be hovering on the edge of his control. I hope that he can hold it together through his questioning. He's up first, along with Siri. I'm not sure if that's good or bad; at least it gets it over and done with, I suppose.

We enter our room, and Master Faelin and T'nell greet us. Like me, Faelin is to be an official observer of the proceedings. T'nell must have come to give Obi moral support. I watch as he hugs Obi warmly and whispers something in his ear. Obi gives him a half-smile then pulls away and stands to one side, his arms clamped defensively across his chest. Siri is here already, too, sitting in a chair beside Adi Gallia. She seems fine, calmer than Obi at least. Xan and Bruck aren't here yet; they won't be expected until at least this afternoon. The committee want to question Obi-Wan and Siri about what happened on Gollin 3 before they speak to either Xan, the mission leader, or Bruck, the object of the recovery.

Faelin lays a hand on my arm. "Come, Qui-Gon," she says. "We should report in now. They'll be ready to start soon."

I nod, glancing across at Obi. He returns the look, his eyes flickering through a series of emotions, before he settles and composes himself fully, adopting a cool façade that belies the tension he's clearly feeling. I hate to see him this way, and, without caring who's watching, I cross the room and engulf him in a hug. His arms snake around my waist and he squeezes me in return.

"Good luck, Obi-Wan," I whisper. "The Force will be with you. It'll be fine. You'll do fine."

He nods mutely, and we draw apart. He sucks in a deep breath, and I know he's preparing. He will be fine. I have every confidence in him. With a final glance at my padawan, I follow Faelin from the room, and we head to report to the hearing clerk.

The Senate Hearing Chamber is formal and imposing. A long heavy table set upon a dais dominates the room, looming over a smaller table where the witnesses will sit. I try to imagine Obi sitting there in his current state. It's definitely not a set up designed to put those being questioned at their ease.

There are stalls of seats on either side of the room, and Faelin and I are directed to seats in the front row of the left hand stall. At least I'll be reasonably close to Obi. There are several other people present - invited observers from the Senate, although the hearing is ostensibly closed and the proceedings are entirely confidential. Unlike the outcome. I've already heard a buzz around Coruscant about this hearing; this could prove to be a huge problem for the Jedi.

Faelin and I settle into our seats, and I gather up my datapad and insert the chip that informs us of the running order of the proceedings. It's fairly straightforward: an opening address, the calling of witnesses for questioning and then an adjournment during which the committee members will debate the findings. It's no more specific than that. It doesn't clearly outline their remit or what actions the conclusions of the inquiry may bring. It's paramount that Faelin and I monitor the proceedings well, ensure that the Jedi point of view is given fair consideration. The atmosphere in the room alone is enough to fill me with a real sense of foreboding. I scan down the page and find the names of the Senators participating: Senator Palpatine, Bail Organa, of course, then three other names that I've not heard before, one other Junior Senator and two Senior.

A small, dark-haired girl enters the chamber and instructs us all to stand while Senator Palpatine leads the committee members in. Bail is directly behind Palpatine, followed by the other Senators, Nyla Mallix, Lethro Ziracch and Zaphone Bahr. All are male, all humanoid. I expected a wider representation.

Once everyone is seated and settled, Senator Nyla Mallix officially opens the proceedings.

"Welcome everyone to this Senate Investigation. Our aim is to study the events of the recent Jedi Mission to Gollin 3, with a wider interest in investigating the deployment of Jedi Padawans in activities relating to the exposure of slave rings within the Republic."

I draw in a breath and glance at Faelin. The look on her face tells me she clearly didn't expect that either.

The Senator continues. "We will begin by establishing the facts of what occurred on the mission by interviewing the key participants and reviewing the available evidence. Following that we will look into the background events that led to the mission by interviewing Padawan Bruck Chun about his own failed mission."

The introduction continues with a drawn out description of procedures and legal positions with regard to the inquiry. I try to concentrate on each detail, tapping what I think may be important into my datareader. Faelin and I must be sure that we have our own comprehensive record of the proceedings. I no longer even trust the vid recorders that are installed in this room.

Finally, the Senator winds up his opening. "This investigation, I assure those Jedi present, is merely concerned with the well-being of the vulnerable Padawans serving your Order."

I nod at him calmly, but beneath the surface I'm simmering with anger. Our Order has always been concerned with the well-being of our Padawans. These people have no idea of what happens within the Jedi. How can they presume to judge us? My sense of foreboding and dread for Obi-Wan deepens. I don't like this at all.

"We are acting in the best interests of all concerned. Now, Ms Naberrie, please call Padawans Kenobi and Tachi into the chamber, and we can begin proceedings proper."

The dark-haired girl stands and scurries to the side door. My stomach pits; this is it. I shoot a furtive glance at Bail Organa, wondering if he feels the same sense of dread for Obi-Wan that I do. He's intently studying a datapad, no emotion visible on his face. During the one proper conversation we had last night, Obi said to me that Bail had his reasons for being on the committee. I only wish I knew what they were.

The door swishes open and Bail doesn't look up. I turn and watch as Ms Naberrie re-enters, followed first by Adi Gallia and then Siri and finally Obi-Wan. His eyes sweep the room, rapidly absorbing his surroundings, searching me out. I see the relief when his gaze rests on me, and I give him a tight-lipped smile.

They are invited to sit at the table beneath the scrutinizing gaze of the assembled committee. Obi-Wan has been involved in countless missions, negotiations, trials and hearings since the age of thirteen when he joined me, yet I'm taken at how young he looks sitting there. Siri, too. Dressed in their formal robes and tunics, there's no trace of the confident, sexual beings who frequent Rising. Both are exuding an appearance of calm, yet I know they've been troubled since they were formally called to attend this hearing.

"Padawans Kenobi and Tachi," Senator Mallix says, introducing them formally to the hearing. "You have been called to give evidence to this inquiry together, as you acted jointly throughout the mission until Padawan Kenobi's capture. We wish now to establish the facts that led to this occurrence and subsequent events. I'm sure that as Jedi, I have no need to remind you of the need for truth, and of the legal standing of this inquiry."

The interview starts routinely enough, going over the details of the first part of the mission, the infiltration of the slave ring, establishing cover. They answer the questions clearly and confidently, although Obi seems content to let Siri answer more frequently. If he's as tense as he was earlier, he's doing an excellent job of covering it so far. He looks a model of calm detachment.

I've heard all of these mission details before, and while I am listening to Obi-Wan and Siri's responses, I'm also concentrating on watching the Senators, on monitoring the flow of questions. Xan has expressed serious reservations about the motivations behind this inquiry and, I admit, I share them. He told me how Yoda has instructed him to proceed, to be truthful, but I feel that the Jedi should have objected to this whole procedure. The success or otherwise of a mission is entirely a Jedi matter, as are the methods we use in order to complete our missions. As I watch and listen to Obi, I'm amazed at how composed he is; he's been a ball of nervous tension for days, yet here he is, cool, dignified, every inch the Jedi.

The next question from Senator Mallix's brings my attention away from Obi and back to the hearing.

"And your cover story for entering the slave pens was that you intended to purchase Padawan Chun for sex?"

I look across at the committee members. This Mallix seems to be leading things, asking the most probing questions. Bail has been entirely silent so far, concentrating on his datapad, avoiding eye contact with Obi and Siri. Palpatine is serene, leaning forward on his elbows, waiting anxiously for Obi to answer.

"Padawan Kenobi? Please answer the question." Mallix says firmly.

Bail's face registers discomfort, then settles back to a mask of composure.

"Yes," Obi-Wan replies. He closes his eyes briefly, thinking through his response. That's good; it's very important that they answer carefully. "Our mission was to locate and recover the missing operatives, " he continues evenly. "Attempting a purchase was the logical approach. We were able to pinpoint Padawan Chun's location, and then by arranging the purchase we would be afforded the opportunity to make contact and plan the next phase of the mission." I notice that Obi has begun lacing and unlacing his fingers in his lap. It's a nervous habit only I would instantly recognise. I will him to stop.

Mallix nods, regarding Obi-Wan critically. "So, if necessary, you would have had sex with Padawan Chun in the interest of pursuing the mission outcome?"

Obi-Wan holds Millax's gaze. "Yes."

"And the use of sex was endorsed by the Jedi Council?"

I flick my eyes back to Obi. How will he handle this? His hands have stilled now, and he holds himself confidently.

"When we are on deployment," he asserts, "we are expected to act on our own initiative and use whatever means we deem appropriate to ensure that the mission objectives are achieved."

"Even sex?" Mallix pushes the point again.

Obi glances across at me, as though he's unsure how to reply. I make an almost imperceptible movement with my eyes. It's enough for Obi.

"Yes," he replies. "Even sex."

There is a brief murmur from the stall behind me, and Mallix leans over his datapad, studying something intently. Silence hangs for a moment, then he looks up at Obi-Wan again.

"Only it didn't work out that way, did it, Padawan Kenobi? During the rendezvous you were captured yourself?"

I close my eyes and suck in a breath. When I reopen them, I see Obi's fingers picking at his tunic hem, and the cool detachment falls from him. I will him to maintain his composure.

His voice is quiet when the answer comes. "Yes." It seems to be all he can manage.

Mallix notes the change and he pushes harder. "Were you placed at unnecessary risk by the nature of this mission, Padawan Kenobi? We have seen surveillance footage, and it seems that both you and Padawan Tachi were dressed somewhat... provocatively."

Color drains from Obi's face, and his fingers tighten around the fabric of his tunic. He's taken aback, unable to speak. I bite down my anger, but the datapad shakes in my fingers. Faelin places a calming hand on my arm.

Siri jumps in, breaking the awkward silence, her voice shrill, defensive. "We were undercover. We had to blend into our surroundings."

"And did that include drinking? Taking recreational drugs? Participating in orgies?"

A series of still images flash onto a screen behind the committee's table. Obi-Wan and Siri in their undercover costumes; pierced, leather clad. The two of them drinking all manner of intoxicating spirits, then lying entwined, apparently having sex. I know that they didn't, but to the casual observer it could certainly appear that way.

Obi and Siri stare at the screen. Siri's face tightens a little, and she clenches her jaw. Obi is still shaken, shifting in his seat as the images flicker past. They exchange a tense glance.

"Padawan Kenobi and I took some drugs in the early part of the mission, but we are trained to purge such substance quickly from out systems," Siri says evenly. "And we were simulating sex. We had to play the part, fit into our surroundings or else our presence would have been easily detected."

"But Knight Xanatos took strong recreational drugs, didn't he?" Mallix asks.

Siri nods. Beside her I see Obi struggling to regain some composure so that he can support Siri, but he is clearly rattled. It's hardly surprising; if they have this footage, what else do they have?

"He did that in order to deflect attention from Padawan Kenobi and myself. To protect us."

"Well, it seems that he failed, doesn't it? Padawan Kenobi was captured."

"I was captured because our cover had been compromised. I chose to take a weapon into the slave pen for my rendezvous with Padawan Chun."

"Were you instructed to do so?"

He looks across at me again. I know that Xan has offered to take the blame for this. He holds his eyes firmly on me as he answers Senator Mallix. "No. That was a decision I made alone."

"And was that prudent?"

He breaks the eye contact with me, his gaze dropping to the table before him, before he replies. "No." He raises his head again, and I see him regain his equilibrium a little. "But it was the decision I made. I can blame no one but myself."

"So, it was a lapse?"

"Yes. A lapse in concentration."

"And was the lapse caused by intoxication? By being under the influence of drugs?"

"No," he says firmly, "Padawan Tachi has already told you that we only took drugs right at the beginning of the mission, and I had not had any alcohol directly before my rendezvous with Padawan Chun."

"But none the less," Palpatine begins. I snap my head up. It's the first time he's spoken in the questioning, and I want to hear exactly what he has to say. "I fear that this gave the slavers the chance to add another vulnerable Jedi Padawan to their collection."

I see Adi Gallia lay her hand lightly on Obi's leg, a quiet gesture of support. I bite down on my lip. It really should be me there beside him, supporting him. I should never have agreed to do this observation duty. I should be beside him, supporting him. Faelin mirrors Adi's gesture, sensing my simmering anger.

Palpatine nods tersely at Mallix, and he resumes the questioning.

"And what happened after your capture?" Mallix asks.

Obi's head visibly droops. "I passed out when they implanted a device in my neck that disconnected me from the Force. I awoke in a cell with Padawan Chun."

"And when you awoke - what then?"

"As well as Padawan Chun, there were two guards," Obi is speaking quietly and his voice is unwavering, but I can see the tension in the way he's holding his jaw, in the increased intensity of the movement of his fingers. "They forced him to perform sexual acts. To initiate me."

"He had sexual intercourse with you, Padawan Kenobi?" Mallix continues. My body shakes with pent-up energy.

"Yes," Obi-Wan confirms. "Several times."

"And he did this in the interest of protecting you, isn't that right?" Mallix asks, unshaken by the obvious effects his questions are having on Obi-Wan. "Just as you would have had sex with him in the interest of freeing him. The two of you were forced into public sexual intercourse by the very nature of the missions that the Order had sent you on."

Mallix pushes a button on his datapad. An image appears behind him of Obi, stripped, on all fours, Bruck behind him. Obi's face in the image is blank, disoriented, panicked, not that different to how it looks now he is forced to confront that terrible image. It takes every inch of my training for me to remain in my seat, to not jump up and drag my padawan out of the room. I feel the pressure of Faelin's hand increase on my leg, a tacit gesture of restraint.

Bail stiffens, as a gasp fills the room. He turns to face Mallix. "Senator," he says, his voice wavering. "We have seen the footage. Surely it is not necessary to show these images publicly?"

"On the contrary, Senator Organa," Mallix replies. "It is entirely necessary. Such images are the entire basis of this inquiry."

Bail turns to Palpatine. "Senator, you must agree that this is unnecessary?" he says with a touch of desperation.

"It seems a little extreme," Palpatine agrees. "Senator Bahr? What is your opinion?"

"I believe that Senator Mallix is correct," Bahr says. "The images are necessary in order for the public to see exactly what this inquiry is so concerned about."

Palpatine turns to the remaining committee member, Lethro Ziracch. "And you, Senator Ziracch? What is your opinion on this matter?"

"I agree with, Senator Mallix," Ziracch replies without hesitation. "The images must be seen."

Palpatine nods regally, a look of resignation on his face. He looks back to Bail. "I'm sorry, Senator Organa. We have been overruled. As painful as it is for the Padawans concerned, it seems we must show these images. They are essential evidence."

Bail sinks back in his chair in defeat. At least he tried. I'm grateful to him for that. I look back at Obi. He's entirely still now, his eyes fixed on some distant point in the room, unseeing. I can't imagine how he must feel knowing that the committee have seen this footage, but anger is literally boiling inside me now. How dare they do this? How dare they? How dare they use my padawan as a pawn to further their agenda, to forward their corrupt political ambitions?

At a nod from Palpatine, Mallix resumes the line of inquiry. "You were forced to engage in some horrifying acts."

As he speaks a series of grainy images flicker behind him. Obi-Wan, my padawan, being hurt and abused. One look at his face tells me that he is being hurt and abused all over again.

"We are concerned that padawans should be endangered in such a way, " Mallix says, his voice dripping patronisingly. "These images have disturbed us all. It forces us to consider whether or not your Order should be sending padawans into such situations."

"It's what we do," Siri says sharply, jumping to defend Obi-Wan. "We are aware of the risks and we face them willingly. It is one of the terms of our service to the Order."

Her voice seems to snap Obi back to consciousness. "Padawan Tachi is right. It's a risk that we accept. I was given comprehensive counseling and support on my return to the Temple, as was Padawan Chun."

"But what of those who do not return, Padawan Kenobi?" Mallix asks. "You were lucky, you were rescued. Yet there are many who are not. We were shocked by the number of padawans who have been injured, damaged, reported missing or killed on such missions. Only this morning, we saw a report that a Padawan Keli Briggs and his Master Kim Tyleen are missing and presumed dead having been deployed on a similar mission. Is that an acceptable risk?"

I feel the air sucked from my lungs. I want to stand but my legs are strangely weighted down. I look to Obi and Siri. Both are white, all color drained from their faces. Obi sits rigid, staring opened mouthed at Senator Mallix. Siri is breathing sharply, harshly. I've never seen her like that, fighting to be calm, almost failing.

Adi Gallia looks across at the committee, shaking her head. There's a brief, whispered conversation between Mallix and Palpatine.

Palpatine rises to his feet. "The session is in adjournment. It seems that this news has come as something of a shock to Padawans Kenobi and Tachi, we do not want to subject them to more distress. We will resume tomorrow with the testimony of Padawan Chun. Thank you."

The committee rise and file out silently, followed by the observers, leaving us Jedi alone in the vast, soulless room. Siri sits motionless in her chair. Adi Gallia has hold of her hands and is speaking softly, soothingly to her. Obi jumps to his feet and comes to my side, a helpless look in his eyes. I place an arm around him, drawing him closer to me. Both he and Siri are struggling to retain their composure. We need to move, to get them out of sight of the intrusive cameras.

Then we can let them grieve for Keli.

My legs feel weak as I follow the other senators out of the chamber. I look back over my shoulder. The Jedi are still sitting there, looking stunned. I want to turn back and offer condolences, but any personal contact with those testifying would be improper now. I can't help but feel like all of this is spinning out of control. I don't know what, if any, good my presence on this committee is doing.

I remember Keli well: young, cute, and boldly flirtatious. He hit on me the first time I ever met him, despite the fact that Ben was standing right beside me. It shocked me at the time, but... I understand them now. At least, more than most beings do.

T'nell nods to me as he passes, hurrying towards the private chamber assigned to the Jedi. I doubt he knows about Keli yet, and it isn't my place to tell him. Still...

"T'nell!" I call, breaking away from the other senators. He stops and turns to face me, and I see something flicker across his face before the Jedi mask resumes its place. I beckon him closer. "Please," I whisper, "tell Obi-Wan I'm sorry, and that I'll speak to him soon." Mallix is looking at me, an impatient glower on his face. "When I can."

T'nell nods, casting a wary glance at Mallix.

"Tell him, please," I reiterate.

"Sure," he replies, offering me a small smile. It seems forced, and something twists in my gut as he scurries off to join the other Jedi. I feel odd, detached -- as if I'm watching this from outside myself.

This hearing is alienating me from Ben, and I curse that I ever agreed to take part. Not that I had much choice in the matter.

"Senator Organa." I turn to the harsh voice. "Come," Mallix says. "We're waiting."

I follow reluctantly. This isn't where I want to be.

I realize I'm twirling a lock of my hair around a finger again, and I force my hands into my lap instead. I grew my hair long for Ben, and now...

The holocube on my desk shows the same scene over and over: Ben smiling coyly over his shoulder, then turning and grinning. He winks and blows me a kiss, and then it starts again. I've been watching it for the last half hour, ever since Qui-Gon told me to stop comming today, that Ben wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

A gentle knock at the door rouses me from my thoughts. Larian pokes her head through the door. My hard-working assistant looks as tired as I do: dark strands of hair are pulled out of the normally neat style she wears, dark circles have formed under her eyes, and her clothes are so rumpled I imagine she might have slept in them. Under her desk. "Senator Palpatine is here to see you," she says.

I blink in surprise. "He is? Was I expecting him?"

She shakes her head. "He was just in the area, he says, and wondered if he could have a word."

"I... Sure. Why not?" I run my hands through my hair in an attempt to tame it, and stand. I'm looking no better than Larian, if truth be told. My robes are rumpled, I've chewed my nails past the point of propriety, and I look like I haven't slept in days -- a fine state in which to meet with anyone important.

Palpatine glides through the doorway, smiling warmly at me, and relief washes through me at the sight of him. Everything will be fine as long as he's on my side. He won't let things spin out of control.

He extends a hand and clasps my shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze. "You did well today, son. Your father would have been..." He pauses, and a wry grin spreads across his wizened face. "Well, perhaps proud isn't quite the right word."

I can't help but smirk in response. "No, he would have been mortified to see me defending the rights of Jedi, I'm certain. I'm thankful these hearings are closed, so he'll never see any of this." My father doesn't need more reasons to believe the Jedi are immoral and corrupt.

"If Mallix has his way, those tapes will be made public," Palpatine sighs, shaking his head. "He believes the public has a right to know what the Jedi Order does to their children once they give them over to their care."

"You won't let that happen, will you?" I ask, trying to keep panic out of my tone. "I can't imagine anything worse for the individuals involved."

"I will do my best," he replies, settling into a chair. "I fear our colleague is missing the point of these hearings. We started this to protect Jedi padawans, not to exploit them for political gain."

I close my eyes and lean back against my desk. "What can I do, Senator? I'll do anything I can to help, anything at all. I feel so powerless sitting up there on the dais. Nothing I say seems to matter, not to Mallix and his... cronies."

Palpatine sighs and I open my eyes. He's holding my holocube in his hand, watching the image of Ben flicker above it. I tense for a moment -- I didn't even see him pick it up

"Yes," I reply, trying not to fidget.

"You are doing the right thing, Bail," he continues, fixing me with his gaze. "He needs you up there. You understand the perspective of the younger Jedi more than most."

I nod, blowing out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I know these things are true, but it helps to hear someone else say them. Someone who doesn't judge me for my relationship with Ben.

Palpatine studies the image in his palm. "I understand you were reluctant to accept this assignment."

I don't reply, instead watching the back of Ben's head in the holocube image. Palpatine looks up at me again. I try to look away, but find I can't.

"Senator Mallix hinted that he had to work very hard to persuade you to be on the committee."

"Persuade?" I repeat. "Is that the term he used?"

Palpatine's grey eyes are sympathetic, and his expression saddens. "Is he using your relationship with Kenobi against you?"

I clench my jaw and stare at the floor between us. I haven't told anyone about that; not even Ben.

"I feared as much." Palpatine places the holocube in my hand. His touch is soothing, and I find myself wanting to look up at him again. "You are young and idealistic, Bail. I wish I could tell you this isn't the way things are done, but it wouldn't be fair of me. Politics is a game, and it takes some time to learn the rules."

"I came here because I thought I could make a difference," I tell him. "And despite what happened today, I still believe I can. I want to learn. I'll do whatever it takes to fight men like him who abuse their power for personal gain." Part of me hears the words and winces at how naïve and idealistic I sound, but Palpatine will understand. He was once like me, I'm certain.

He regards me for a moment. "I believe you will succeed, Bail. Perhaps if the two of us stand firmly together, we can protect these padawans from Mallix, and steer this committee back towards its original purpose."

I extend my hand, and he takes it. "I do stand with you, Senator. I'll follow your leadership, and do whatever is necessary." To help Ben, I finish in my mind.

Palpatine's smile returns. "I know you will, my boy. I'm counting on it."

I leave the Senate building late and alone, having spent some time looking over the transcripts of the day's events. I'm still going over events in my head, thinking about Ben's face as he watched himself on that screen. I sigh. This hearing is just--

"Bail."

I nearly jump out of my skin as a figure emerges from the shadows and pauses, framed by the light shining down from the terrace above.

"Ben!" I exclaim. "I thought you didn't want to see me." I glance around -- we really shouldn't be seen together, but I'm too relieved to care at the moment.

"I know." He folds his arms and looks away. "I didn't want to face you again after knowing you'd seen..." He pauses and clenches his jaw. The light of a passing hovercar illuminates his face briefly. "Qui-Gon thought I needed to tell you how I felt."

I nod. "And how is that?"

He snorts. "Angry. Humiliated. Betrayed." His gaze turns to me, finally. "I thought you said you could help us by being on that committee. How could you let them show the video like that, in front of everyone?"

I step towards him, but stop just short of touching him. "I'm sorry. I had no idea Mallix was planning to do that." From the expression on his face, I'd guess he isn't sure if he believes me. "I did try to stop them, but... Mallix is the chair. It was out of my hands."

"You could have called off the hearings. Stormed out in protest. Made them listen to you." He almost sounds like a petulant child -- understandable considering what he's been through.

"Ben, please... It doesn't work that way and you know it." Sometimes his naïveté about politics is charming, and sometimes it's not. "If Mallix won't even listen to Senator Palpatine, why would he listen to me?"

"Maybe you should resign from the committee, then." Ben's eyes are hard, and that stubborn set to his jaw is all too familiar.

"And what would that accomplish? Even more publicity, which wouldn't help the situation." I run a hand through my now-mangled hair. "And I'd no longer be able to advocate for you and Siri and Bruck."

"Fat lot of good it's done so far," he snorts.

I grit my teeth in frustration, mirroring his stance. "It would be far worse if I wasn't there, you know." Of course, I'm not certain that's true. "I think things will be different tomorrow," I offer, weakly. I don't want to tell him about my alliance with Palpatine out here in the open. It would be bad enough if anyone saw us together, but if they overheard that particular conversation, I'd have to answer to the Ethics Subcommittee.

He looks up again, eyes full of scorn. "Why would a committee supposedly concerned with the welfare of Jedi padawans do that to us?"

"Fuck if I know," I snort, shaking my head. I hate this. I wish I could stop it all, before it destroys everything Ben and I have together.

Of course, I'm not at all certain what exactly we have.

Ben responds with a quizzical frown. I hold out my hand. "There's more I want to tell you, but... Can we talk about this somewhere more private?"

His expression becomes skeptical. "Like your apartment? I don't think that's a good idea."

"No, that's not what I meant. Just somewhere I can speak freely, like my office. It's secure."

He exhales and studies the ground in font of him. "I can't really stay. I need to get some sleep."

He doesn't take my hand, and I realize he's saying "no". I nod my head and stuff my hands into the pockets of my robe.

He scrapes his boot on the duracrete, biting his lip. "We've heard nothing more about Keli and his master. I don't suppose you know anything?"

"No, I don't. I got that news at the same time you did."

"You're joking," he gapes. I shake my head, and he looks a bit disgusted. "Why are you on this committee, Bail? They're not exactly keeping you informed, and they don't listen when you object to their methods."

I swallow and look away. I've also been wondering why Mallix wanted me on the committee so badly. Was it just to force me to participate in the skewering of my friend? Was it to put me in my place after I voted against his Trade Federation Act?

Ben seems to sense my discomfort and doesn't push the issue. He stares into the darkness for a moment, silent and contemplative. "So they think another padawan is dead under questionable circumstances? That will really fuel their fire." He purses his lips, as if trying to choose his words carefully. "There's something wrong here, Bail. I can feel it."

"It's just politics, Ben," I sigh, reaching out to take his hand. To my surprise he lets me. I squeeze his hand, taking immense comfort from this measure of affection from him. "It's just the way the game is played," I continue, Palpatine's words echoing through my mind. "And I'm going to learn how to play it, I promise. I'm already working on that. Things will be different tomorrow. You'll see."

I pull him into an embrace and he snakes his arms around me, pressing his forehead against my shoulder. As I hold him in my arms, all I can think of is his face in that video. Hurt, vulnerable, lost. I wish I'd never seen it, but it's too late. I can't forget it.

We hear the sound of the door opening and awkwardly pull apart. The junior senator from Blalisk emerges from the building, nearly tripping over his large webbed feet as he studies his datapad. He emits a small squeal -- a Blalaskian gesture indicating he's seen and recognized us -- and nods his head, four red eyes scanning Ben and me curiously.

"Senator Organa," he trills in his bird-like voice, "I see I'm not the only one working late tonight. I trust you and your fiancée will still be attending the dinner in honor of the delegation from Vroufyea tonight?"

I'd forgotten about that reception, with this hearing going on. I'd also forgotten to invite Padme. Padme--

I stiffen and shoot a glance at Ben, immediately feeling guilty about this mention of her in front of him. His eyes have widened, and he looks as if he's trying not to smile. I turn my attention back to the Blaliskian senator. "Only me, I'm afraid. Twenty-second hour, correct?"

He nods again, then extends a feather-covered limb to signal his departure. He heads for the speeder bay, no doubt looking forward to breaking the air-speed limits in that sporty flier of his. Some days, it really pays to be a senator.

Ben slips his arm through mine, smirking. "Blalaskians don't have a word for lover, do they? My master and I were on a mission on Blalask a few years ago, and I found out after the fact that the name they'd called me for three weeks meant 'underage bed slave'."

I laugh, a bit horrified at the implication, but relieved that he doesn't seem angry. We've never talked about Padme, though I assume he knows about her. It's a very typical Alderaani tradition, and my family is nothing if not traditional.

Ben kisses me on the cheek, catching me by surprise. "I'm flattered that someone thinks I'd be a good catch for a senator, though."

It takes a few seconds for his words to sink in. Oh, no.

My stomach twists -- it seems his good humor is born of misunderstanding. This must be the worse possible circumstance under which to tell him the truth.

I turn to face him, steeling myself. "Ben... He wasn't referring to you," I say.

Ben's expression is carefully blank. "Sorry?"

"Ben," I begin, stepping closer to him. Before I can say the words, I see the comprehension begin to spread across his face. "You have to understand... It's a custom. A marriage of convenience, a political alliance, that's all."

He laughs, and then his face falls. "You're engaged to be married?" I nod, taking both his hands in mine. He pulls away, not looking at me. "When did this happen?"

"When I was twenty," I reply, trying to exude calm. I should have made a point of bringing this up earlier, but there's nothing for it now. "Marriages are usually arranged at sixteen, but I'd kept refusing, and my father finally gave me an ultimatum."

Ben blinks and looks up at me again, a flurry of emotion clouding his face. "So when are you...?"

"In three years, when she turns twenty. I'm her guardian, of sorts, in the meantime."

"She's here, on Coruscant?" Ben looks a little sick. I'm sure I do as well.

"Oh fuck," I mumble, pressing a palm to my forehead. "Ben, I thought... I thought you knew. Qui-Gon met her at a reception, while you were away, and I assumed--"

"Qui knows?" Ben makes a sound like a strangled laugh, and backs away. "Force. Shit." He turns away, as if he's going to leave, but turns back again. "Who is she?"

"Her name is Padme Naberrie. You've seen her at Rising. She's Palpatine's intern this session, and she's been at the hearings--"

"Errie?" he spits, incredulous. "You're going to marry her?"

I nod, uncertain what I can say that won't make this worse.

"But she's... a party girl!" he exclaims. "She's fucked around more than I have since she got here. She'd been with half the padawans I know!"

"Oh, this is rich," I snort, feeling my face color with irritation. "You calling someone a slut?"

"Oh, fuck you," he sneers, stepping closer to me.

"Is that an insult or an invitation?" I retort. "With you, one can never be certain."

His eyes flash with a dark anger. It makes me shiver. He's never looked at me like this before, and I know what he's capable of.

His tone is measured when he speaks. "I simply find it ironic that your father doesn't approve of you being with someone like me, but she's perfectly appropriate."

"She was twelve when we were engaged," I hiss, trying not to show my fear of him. "She was hardly making her way through the padawan ranks then, now was she?"

He shakes his head and backs away from me, closing his arms over his chest.

"Look, you're a diplomat." I continue. "You must know what marriage is like on Alderaan. Just because I'm married to her doesn't mean she and I won't have lovers. Marriage isn't about sex or love." He still doesn't look at me. If he really didn't know this before... My heart sinks even lower. "I'm sorry," I groan, stepping forward. "Please don't--"

"Don't what? Be angry? Hurt?" He shakes his head at me, incredulous. "What did you expect? I thought we were friends, Bail -- more than friends. I didn't think we kept things like this from each other."

"I thought you knew already," I mumble, but it sounds weak even to my ears. I press my palms against my face. A tense silence stretches out between us.

"Does she know about me?" he asks at last, his voice very small.

"Yes," I reply. "She knows I'm in love with you, and she's happy for me. For us."

He makes a sound like a laugh and starts to speak, but stops himself.

"Ben--"

He holds up both hands and shakes his head. "Bail, just... don't, all right? I can't... I need some time on this one."

I nod, but he doesn't see. He turns and walks away without another word.

The night is suddenly heavy on my shoulders.

Senator Mallix frowns at his datapad. "Padawan Chun, are you saying that you went into this arrangement willingly?"

The boy sitting at the table below looks nothing like Ben, but his poise and tone of voice are identical: measured, serene, and unflappable.

"In a manner of speaking, yes." The corners of Chun's lips quirk up in an almost-smile before he regains control. "It was necessary. I tried to warn Padawan Kenobi that he had walked into a trap, but it was too late. Our best chance of survival at that point was to cooperate."

I glance at Ben, who's now seated beside his master in the observation area at the side of the chamber. He's watching the testimony, but has yet to show a reaction to anything that's been said.

"And you claim the treatment you were ordered to give Padawan Kenobi was far less severe that what you had endured in the past?

Chun nods, and his eyes flick up to the vid screen, on which selected images from the horrific scene are being looped continuously. He swallows and looks at his hands.

"Describe to us some of the abuses you suffered while doing your duty as a Jedi," Mallix says.

"Senator, I object to that language," I snap, casting as sharp a glance as I can muster. Mallix returns it.

"Senator Organa has a point," Palpatine interjects, voice dripping with calm. "The Jedi Order is not on trial, after all."

Mallix narrows his eyes at Palpatine, but nods. "Very well. I'll rephrase the question. Padawan Chun, please describe some of the abuse you suffered during your enslavement."

Chun seems uncomfortable and glances at Palpatine. Palpatine nods in response, as if reassuring him.

"I don't know where to begin," Chun says, looking down. I'd been under the impression that he was cooperating with this investigation, but he seems uncomfortable now. "Over four months, I was forced to have intimate relations with more than one hundred beings of various species. Some were... differently proportioned from humanoids." He purses his lips and pauses. I wonder if he understood this was what his testimony would be like. "Some were fond of beatings and humiliation. Others..." He stops again and looks at Senator Mallix. "I'm sorry, sir. I'm not certain if I'm answering your question."

"You're doing fine, son," Mallix assures him. "Please continue."

Chun nods and stares at the table in front of him. "The worst day, I think, was... There was a little girl, a Twi'Lek. Maybe four or five years standard. They wanted me to... I refused, and they threatened to..." He pauses and closes his eyes. "They said they'd castrate me if I didn't. And they'd actually cut into one of my testicles before she..."

The room is utterly silent, waiting for him to continue. I risk a glance at Ben, and see he's white as a sheet. He reaches for his master's hand and the man entwines his fingers with Ben's.

Chun seems frozen to the spot, as if lost in the horrible memory. "I tried not to cry out, but... the girl was crying, and she ran to me and threw herself on me, and begged me to..." He takes a shaky breath and looks up at Mallix.

"Go on," Mallix says.

I turn to stare at him, incredulous. "Senator, I believe we've heard enough to piece together his story," I mutter.

"It is vital we hear the complete truth," Mallix replies, "no matter how horrific."

"There was a lot of blood," Chun says, voice nearly choking. "I don't know if it was mine or hers. I had to use the Force to..." He stops then, trembling.

"Enough," I hiss at Malllix. Mallix glances at Palpatine, who nods, an expression of dire sorrow on his face.

"We applaud your bravery, Padawan," Mallix continues. "But I believe we must all wonder where your master was during this time."

Chun's eyes snap up. "He was working to secure my release."

"Was he?" Mallix asks. Chun's eyes narrow.

"Perhaps a change of subject?" Senator Bahr suggests. "Padawan Chun, it is our understanding that this was not the first time you were forced to pose as a sex slave."

Chun's mouth opens, but he makes no sound. He looks down at the table, and when he looks up again, his expression has changed. "No," he replies. "It wasn't."

"And how old were you the first time?" Bahr inquires.

"Fourteen standard," Chun replies, voice flat.

"And your first sexual encounter was under these circumstances?"

"No," Chun says. "My master would not have let that happen. He took me himself, before the slavers had a chance to do so."

Senators Bahr and Mallix gasp, and it's all I can do not to react to that revelation myself. Chun glances at each of us in turn, uncertain what he's said to inspire this sort of response.

"Padawan Chun, I want to be certain we are clear on this issue," Mallix states, glancing down at his datapad before fixing Chun with his gaze once more. "You are telling us that your Master was your first lover?"

"I was posing as his slave," Chun says. "It was either that or give me to someone else, so he took me himself."

I stare down at the Malastarian wood of the table before me, shocked and horrified. His Master?

Bahr clears his throat. "Padawan, forgive the repetitive nature of the question, but we must be clear on this issue. You are saying that your master had sexual relations with you in the presence of other beings?"

Chun swallows and tenses his jaw. "Yes, but he was trying to protect me."

"By raping you, with witnesses?" Mallix exclaims.

"No!" Chun replies, clenching the table with both hands. "It wasn't rape!"

"My boy, you were a child," Bahr says, "and he was an authority figure, your protector and guardian. "You can hardly be objective about him."

Chun gapes and his skin darkens in anger. "I have been raped," he hisses. "Do not deign to tell me that what Jal did to me was the same as--"

"But it was, child," Mallix interrupts. "You were too young to understand the difference."

"Jal loved me," Bruck retorts, voice breaking now. "He was protecting me from something far worse. He gave his life for me!"

"So he had you convinced," Bahr sighs, shaking his head. "You have suffered a terrible ordeal, Padawan, and we do not blame you for believing innocent the one person who seemed to care about you, even as he was taking advantage of you."

"Seemed?" Bruck repeats. He glances at Palpatine desperately.

"I believe we have required enough of this witness," Palpatine says, glancing pointedly at Mallix. "Perhaps we should adjourn until tomorrow?"

I can only stare at my hands as the hearing is adjourned for the day. Chun continues to protest, but no one hears him. I know I should be an advocate for him, but all I can think about is Ben.

I've heard of such things all my life, and I've always dismissed tales of Jedi depravity as bigotry and misunderstanding. But even I cannot ignore the fact that a padawan was put into this situation at the age of fourteen. And his master... This could easily have been someone I've met, someone I've gotten to know -- and probably has been hundreds of others. I know Ben thinks I don't understand, but there are things he doesn't understand as well.

I'm lost in thought as I wait for the lift that will take me to the offices above. There's something that's been spinning through my mind since my argument with Ben last night, something I've been considering.

The lift doors slide open and I nearly run into Padawan Chun as he gets off. I stammer an apology, and then I freeze in my tracks at the face of the man behind him.

"Senator Organa," Aubris says, smiling at me in greeting. "How lovely to see you again."

I manage to nod, emotions roiling in my gut. I never expected to see Aubris Feln again. At a loss for words, I turn my attention to Chun. "How are you, Padawan Chun?"

Chun glares at me in response. "Shitty, no thanks to you."

"Padawan," Aubris chides, a hint of displeasure in his tone.

Chun's face falls. "I apologize, Senator. That was uncalled for."

"You've been through a horrible ordeal," I reply, trying to sound sympathetic, despite the intense dis-ease I feel. "It's quite understandable."

"May I be excused, Master?" Chun asks. Aubris squeezes his shoulder and nods.

"Senator," Chun says, bowing as he takes his leave. He disappears around a corner.

"You're his master?" I ask, before I can think to bite my tongue.

"Yes," Aubris says, turning back to me. "The poor boy was all but abandoned by the Order. I was the only one who took an interest in him at all." He raises an eyebrow. "Other than your committee, of course."

"You speak quite freely, for a Jedi," I reply.

Aubris ignores the bitterness in my tone, but his smile becomes a smirk. "I don't wear my politics as close to the vest as do most Jedi. I can assure you that had Bruck been my padawan two weeks ago, this hearing would never have taken place."

"Then you disapprove? Hardly surprising."

"The Order has made many grave errors, I agree," Aubris says, his voice lowering. "I also believe this committee could do some good, given the proper direction. I'd like to discuss it with you." He narrows his eyes. "In private, of course."

Under other circumstances, I would absolutely refuse, but I find myself strangely intrigued. "Come to my office at 20 hours," I tell him. "Senator Palpatine and I will be meeting. I'm sure he'd be most interested in hearing what you have to say."

Aubris's eyes narrow even more, and he steps closer to me. "Listen to me, Bail: you cannot trust Palpatine."

I pull away, almost laughing. "And what makes you think I would trust you?"

Aubris's expression remains dark for a moment, and then is replaced with a Jedi mask of calm. "Nothing," he says. He turns and walks away, muttering, "Nothing at all."

I watch him walk away, feeling my disgust rise in my throat. This man is allowed to mentor someone as damaged as Bruck Chun? It could have been Ben, I remind myself. And who would have picked up the pieces, had he been the one to suffer what Chun did?

Instead of returning to my office, I stop outside the private chamber allocated to the Jedi. I don't care if anyone sees me -- I want to see Ben. I want to tell him how sorry I am, for everything. I want to hold him, to kiss him, and to make everything right between us. I can defy my father. I can reject my family's traditions. Padme is hardly enthusiastic about marrying me, anyway, and her ambition is far greater than mine. She'll become a senator; she won't need me to escape Naboo.

It would be a tremendous scandal, but things on Alderaan need to change, just as the Jedi Order needs to change. Ben and I could make a difference, together.

I pause at the door, peering through the window. I don't have access to this room, and I want to be sure Ben is actually here before I knock. No need to make it overly obvious that I'm looking for him.

I see several figures in the room, and it's a moment before I realize where Ben is: he's in his master's arms, apparently distraught. My throat constricts at the sight. This is all my fault. I should be there for him. I should never have agreed to be on this committee, and it should be me holding him, comforting him.

I raise my hand to knock, just as Ben raises his head. He looks up at Qui-Gon, and his expression is--

Qui-Gon cups Ben's face in his hands and kisses him. Really kisses him -- not a friendly kiss, but a lingering, almost passionate one. It's clear that Ben returns it.

I turn away from the door and lean back against the wall, reeling. There's only one conclusion I can draw, and I don't even want to think about it. After everything he said last night about me keeping things from him, he's...

The door slides open, and I duck around the corner. I don't want to see Ben now. I don't know what I would say, or how I should feel. I hear footsteps, and a muffled sound, and then, whispered: "Padawan, you'll be the death of me."

I sink against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut.

(Xan)

"They should have let me in to observe," Aubris repeats. "I'm his master. Doesn't that mean anything?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Ah, but you weren't his master when all of this happened, were you?" Aubris scowls at me, and I can't help but grin. I just arrived from a meeting of my undercover ops seminar, and I was surprised to find Bruck's testimony hadn't yet ended. "Bruck is the reason this hearing started in the first place," I remind him. "I'm sure he'll do fine."

As if on cue, the door slides open and Bruck bursts through. He's unnaturally pale, and his eyes find Aubris immediately. "Master," he says, voice barely more than a whisper.

Aubris stands, and his arms are immediately full of shaking padawan. Bewildered, he pulls Bruck against his chest, stroking the boy's newly cut hair and whispering to him. I turn away to give them some privacy.

This isn't good. If the committee reduced Bruck Chun to shambles, what are they going to do to me?

The door slides open again and the rest of the Jedi contingent file in: Qui, Obi, Faelin, Adi and Siri. I opted not to watch the testimony today, but from the expressions on everyone's faces, I'm beginning to wonder if that was a mistake.

"What happened?" I whisper to Qui. He shakes his head and nods towards Bruck. "They all but accused Jal Benyat of selling his own padawan into slavery, and worse." He fills in more of the details, and I'm sure my face is getting redder by the minute.

"This is complete shit," I mutter, clenching my fists. "They're using us for their own selfish gain." I watch Bruck being comforted by Aubris, and shake my head. This was a mistake, and I know I'm partly to blame. If only I'd been mentoring Bruck, perhaps he wouldn't have turned to others for help.

I turn to see Obi staring at Bruck and Aubris. "When did that happen?" he asks.

"A few days ago," Qui responds, stroking Obi's back. "I'm happy for them, actually. Chun needed another master, and Aubris needed someone to focus on." He glances at me, pointedly.

"Someone else to take advantage of, you mean," Obi scowls.

"Careful, now," I say, poking him in the ribs with an elbow. "You're starting to sound like the committee." Obi seems chagrined by that comment, and stares at the floor in front of him. I turn to Qui. "I'm going to review Bruck's testimony, I think. I'm up first tomorrow, and I should probably know what's coming. I'll be over later." Qui nods, and turns back to Obi, who's still pouting.

Bruck and Aubris leave, and I cross the room to where Adi and Siri are conversing. Adi tucks a strand of hair behind her padawan's ear, smiling at her. Siri doesn't respond. Adi nods curtly as she sees me approach, and their conversation stops.

"Xanatos," she acknowledges, her tone a little clipped. I smile coolly in response; she's made no secret of her opinion of me since the mission.

"How are you, Siri?" I ask.

Siri looks up at me, her face a mask of stoicism. She hasn't spoken to me since we received the news about Keli and his master yesterday. She shrugs.

I cast a wary glance at Adi before continuing. "I just wanted to tell you that I've been in your situation, when I wasn't much older than you. If you want to talk--"

"I'm fine," Siri replies, looking away. "I'll be fine."

I can only nod and wish them both good day as Adi guides her padawan away. They exit, leaving me alone with Qui and Obi, who seem to be having an intimate moment.

There's a computer terminal in the corner of the room, and I decide to log on to the Senate subcommittee hearings page. With a high enough security clearance, one can access the holo-feed of the day's proceedings, it seems. I just happen to have a very high clearance. I cue it up and scan through today's events, paying careful attention to how the senators react to various statements Bruck makes. Palpatine seems mainly to be observing, soaking it all up. Dooku's allegations about Palpatine flit through my mind. He'd mentioned that a small group of senators had been involved in most of Palpatine's efforts of late. I think I'm going to have to spend some time in the archives tonight.

I turn to ask Qui a question, but he and Obi have already left. I download excerpts from the testimony into my datapad and head out the door -- only to collide head-on with Bail Organa.

He looks stricken, as if he's just seen a ghost. I can't help but put my hands on his shoulders to steady him. "Are you all right, Senator?" I ask. I wouldn't feel so benevolent towards a member of that committee ordinarily, but he appeared to be trying to stop Mallix's inquisition. I suppose he does care about Obi, after all.

"Sorry," he mutters, and then attempts to smile. "Hello, Xanatos."

I nod. We'd never really spoken to each other until a few days ago. "You're probably looking for Obi-Wan. You might want to give him a few hours, though." I attempt a grin, but he doesn't return it, and looks even more distraught. "Forgive me, Senator -- it's none of my concern."

"No, it's fine," he replies, shaking his head and backing away. "It's been an incredibly shitty day, that's all." I bow and start to turn away, but he stops me. "May I ask you a personal question?" His voice is small, almost tentative.

"Of course," I reply, trying not to smile. After all, what is considered personal by a Jedi and by an Alderaani are two entirely different things.

He opens his mouth, and then blushes and closes it again. "No, never mind," he mutters.

"Now you've made me curious," I reply, grinning despite his discomfort. "I promise I won't be offended."

He takes a deep breath. "It's none of my concern, of course, so you needn't answer, if it's too personal or--"

"Senator," I prod, raising an eyebrow.

He blushes again. It strikes me that he's very good-looking. I can see why Obi has gone to such lengths to keep this man in his bed.

"All of this talk about relations between masters and padawans has got me thinking," he says, struggling to keep his eyes fixed on mine. "I was wondering what your experience is... in that matter."

I laugh before I can help myself. "Senator, you must realize by now that sex is hardly a personal topic for Jedi." I grin, and he pulls an exasperated expression. "To answer your question: no, Qui-Gon and I have only been lovers recently. He refused my attempts to seduce him when I was his padawan." Bail nods, though he seems confused. "Of course," I continue, "he showed no such restraint with Obi-Wan. Not that many could resist him."

Bail stares at me for a moment. "And now...?"

I shrug. "They've been lovers off and on for years, so I could hardly expect Qui to turn Obi away just because I've come into the picture." Bail pales at that, and I fear I've said more than he wanted to know. I've seen them together at Rising, though, and I know Bail is aware Obi isn't the monogamous type. Still, he probably doesn't need to be reminded so bluntly. "I'm sorry," I say, wincing. "I didn't mean to offend you."

He shakes his head, even paler now. "And this is... considered normal ?"

"For some it is. The general wisdom is that relationships between masters and padawans should wait until both parties are of legal age, but that policy isn't enforced, by any means."

Bail takes a deep breath and then releases it, slowly. "I don't understand. This all seems completely repulsive to me." He looks bewildered again, and then asks, "Years?" I'm sure my confusion is apparent on my face, because he amends with, "Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. You said--"

"Four, five years," I shrug. It was the wrong answer, I immediately realize. Bail backs away, stricken. "Senator... Bail, please--"

"I'm sorry," he says, folding his arms over his chest and looking away. "I need to... I'm very busy. Excuse me."

He stops then and walks away, leaving me to gape after him in the corridor.

I spend two hours in the Archive, looking for everything I can find about the senators on the committee. There must be a pattern, but it's impossible to piece it all together in so little time. Mallix has ties to the Trade Federation; that much is clear. That organization seems harmless enough, though. It doesn't even have much power except on the Outer Rim. Ziracch seems unconnected to Mallix prior to this committee membership, though he's worked with Palpatine before. He also has ties to the Mining Conglomerate, a relatively new organization I know little about.

Bahr's name is quite familiar, however. When I was undercover, my actions were frequently restricted by the Bahr Act, which requires non-human slaves who have escaped to the emancipated regions of the Republic to be returned to their rightful owners. The fight over the act in the Senate was huge, and it only passed because of a few last-minute coalitions formed between worlds on the Rim and some powerful planets that benefit economically from slavery, though indirectly.

If Anakin Skywalker weren't human, he could be legally returned to Tattooine under the provisions of the Bahr Act. After all, I stole away with him and his mother in the night, right under the nose of his owner. I think there's still a price on my head in that system.

I push away from the monitor and rub my watering eyes. I'm starting to have trouble concentrating, and I need to relax and prepare for tomorrow's inquisition. I'm sure Obi and Qui must be finished by now.

The walk to their shared quarters isn't a long one, given Qui-Gon's rank in the Order -- the closer one lives to the Council chamber and the Archive, the higher one's status is. I don't bother to signal my entrance; I just palm open the door.

Qui is alone, though, sitting on the sofa and studying his datapad. He looks up and is clearly relieved to see me -- probably a sign I should turn around and walk away. I close the door behind me and lean back against it. "What is it?" I ask.

Qui looks tired. "Dooku was here earlier," he says. "He's uncovered some information about the committee, information he believes will help us."

"Is that even possible?" I snort.

Qui ignores the comment. "He can link Bahr, Mallix, and Zaricch to an interest in the Sith. He has evidence, in the form of coded communications between the three of them."

"He does?"

"And there is also evidence that someone has deleted files related to these senators and Senator Palpatine from the Jedi Archive."

"What?" I reply, gaping. "That's impossible!"

"Apparently it isn't," Qui shrugs. "Several years ago, Dooku filed a report relating to the implementation of the Bahr Act, and it has been removed from the archive. When he went looking for more information on that particular mission, it was also gone."

"I wonder what else is missing," I muse, reflecting on the difficulty I had researching those senators.

"Indeed," Qui nods. "Dooku has a source in the Senate who believes the committee is going to pursue a tip that the Order misuses video footage of underage padawans."

"Bail Organa told me that as well," I say.

Qui raises an eyebrow. "And he believes the Council is aware there is a problem, but they've looked the other way."

"That's quite a charge," I snort. "I suppose he has evidence supporting that one as well?" Qui nods in response, and a thought occurs to me. "Wait, how did Dooku get access to the Archive? He left the Order years ago."

"He still has friends here," Qui replies with a small smile.

"Friends who will pay a price, if Dooku is caught in the Archive," I retort, though I can't help but smile a little. This is typical of him, really. I sigh, shaking my head. "I hope you know what you're doing, Qui."

"I do," he replies. "Dooku took his evidence before the Council today, and they turned him away. They wouldn't even listen to him, or even consider the possibility that he was speaking the truth." He shakes his head and looks as sad as I've ever seen him. "I fear the Order is damaged beyond repair."

I watch him for a moment: he's tired, and worried, and I've never known him to be so pessimistic. "What does that mean, Qui? What's going to happen?"

He frowns. "I don't know, Xan. I don't know anything, right now." He sits on the sofa and rests his head in his hands. When he speaks again, his voice is muffled. "Before this week -- before this hearing, I wouldn't have agreed with Dooku. But the way the Council have allowed these padawans to be treated, the way this committee has been given unrestricted access to the mission records... I would have never believed that possible, either."

I shudder at the thought of Senator Bahr reading my mission logs. I wouldn't be surprised if his name came up somewhere within, as an epithet.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I can't help but feel this is all my fault."

"Don't be ridiculous," Qui replies, trying to smile.

We're both silent for a moment. I realize I haven't moved from my spot just inside the door, and step toward him.

"Xan," he says, eyes finding mine, "I could use some time to think."

I stop in my tracks, and bow to him, out of habit. "Of course, Master."

My thoughts whirl as I head down the corridor. Qui, wondering about the future of the Order? I was just beginning to feel I had a place in the Order again, perhaps even a home, with Qui-Gon. I'd pictured us working together, even living together once Obi moved out. I've wanted stability all my life. I've wanted to belong somewhere. I've wanted something I could count on, someone predictable, someone to...

I look up and realize my feet have brought me to the initiates' residential wing. I smile and shake my head. Will of the Force, indeed.

I check the interactive directory on the wall and find Anakin's quarters. The door opens before I have a chance to even knock, and Anakin's face is beaming up at me.

"Xanatos!" he says, a bit breathless. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you," I tell him, smiling. "May I come in?"

"Sure!" He steps away to reveal an incredibly messy room: pieces of machines and droids are scattered everywhere, datapads clutter his small desk, and a game seems to have been paused on the terminal screen. He pushes some dirty clothes off the bed and gestures for me to sit. I do, grinning. Only a twelve-year-old boy could be so unembarrassed about this mess.

He sits next to me, cross-legged, and smiles. "I could feel that you were coming here," he says, blushing a little. "I knew you were getting closer, and then you stopped just outside my door."

"Really?" I ask, impressed. We've always had a strange sort of bond, ever since I brought him to the Temple when he was five years old. He clung to me on that trip, preferring me even to his mother. "Have you spoken to your mother recently?"

He nods, but seems unconcerned. "I told her you were back. She said to give you a hug for her." He blushes again as soon as the words leave his mouth, and he looks away.

"I'll take you up on that later," I reply. I pause, wondering if this is the right thing to do -- for both of us. I hope so. "Anakin, I think you know I've been watching you for a long time. You've made a great deal of progress, even though you started a few years behind everyone else."

"Just like you did," he says, looking up at me expectantly. I imagine he knows what's coming, considering how well he can read me already.

I grin. "Do I even need to ask, or should we just consider this done?"

He returns my grin and launches himself at me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I find myself flat on my back, with some sort of metal object poking uncomfortably in my shoulder and my new padawan pinning me to the mattress.

We both laugh, and I wrestle him beneath me, pinning his shoulders down. I smirk at him. "At the rate you're growing, I won't be bigger than you much longer, Padawan. I should take advantage of these opportunities to put you in your place." His fingers find my ribs, unfortunately, and he tickles me into submission. It's only when we hit the floor hard that we stop.

"Thank you," I tell him, pulling him into an awkward hug.

"You're welcome," he whispers, before wriggling away. "Um... thank you, I mean." He shrugs.

"Have you eaten?" I ask. He shakes his head. "How about sharing a meal with your new master, then?"

Anakin's eyes are sparkling, and he looks as happy as I've ever seen him. Something sparks in me, as well -- I think this may be one of the best decisions I've ever made. I was thinking of moving to new quarters, anyway.

I glance at Qui's face, and it seems he can't decide whether to laugh or glare at me. The rest of the Jedi in the room are hardly as forgiving.

Senator Mallix is bristling with anger. "I suggest you answer the question," he says.

"I am under no obligation to disclose confidential details about a mission for which you do not have a security clearance," I reply. "Only the Jedi Council can authorize such a disclosure."

"We had hoped that as leader of the mission, you would be cooperative," Bahr interjects. "I believe we have made it clear that it is in your best interests to do so."

"Yes," I snort, "you've certainly made it clear you're looking for someone to blame. I don't intend to make myself a candidate." The room titters at that remark, and I suppress a smile.

The senators at the dais glare at me, though Organa's eyes show a glint of humor. He's been unusually quiet today, as if he assumed I could handle myself and didn't require intervention from him.

"Knight Xanatos is technically correct," Palpatine says, folding his long fingers together. "Those testifying have taken no oath, after all. We are relying on their good will and cooperation, and if they feel they are being threatened, they are under no obligation to incriminate themselves."

I decide it's best not to respond to that remark. Palpatine smiles at me, and I return a smirk. Oily fucker, that one. Dooku is right -- he's not to be trusted. I've been watching him all morning, and it's becoming clear that he's orchestrating these proceedings. The other senators look to him when in doubt, and he gives subtle signals: a nod here, a raised eyebrow there. Even Organa seems to be following his lead, though I don't think he's in league with the other three. He doesn't even seem aware that Palpatine is playing both sides.

Either that, or he's better at this game than I would have thought.

"Perhaps," Palpatine continues, eyes narrowing, "we should focus on a different topic, one with which Xanatos would feel more comfortable."

Mallix glances at him, and then consults his datapad before turning to me. "Very well. Our understanding is that it is standard practice to recover surveillance video showing Jedi in difficult situations. Is this true?"

"Yes," I reply. I know where this is going. "Such video can be harmful to the individuals involved if left at the source. If we know such video exists, we make every attempt to collect it and delete it from the host's system. I believe Padawan Tachi testified that she discovered the presence of a video surveillance system in the cell block when she had access to the security system's database, while we were implementing a rescue operation there. That information was filed in her report, and a data recovery specialist went undercover to retrieve the files and destroy the originals."

"Yes," Mallix says, studying his datapad. "She also testified that she had no knowledge of what that video footage might contain. Who reviews footage such as this, when it is brought back to Coruscant?"

"It depends on the type of mission," I reply. Why are they asking me this? "I believe the Council reviews cases in which the outcome was controversial."

"And in this case?"

"I believe the procedure in this case was standard for a mission involving the death of a Jedi." They've already asked me about the nature of my relationship with Jal Benyat, and I told them it was none of their business.

"Do you mean to say," Bahr asks, "that this mission would not have received special attention were it not for the death of Knight Benyat?" I nod, and his eyes narrow. "The sexual abuse of two padawans was not considered worthy of a special inquiry?"

I suppress the urge to wince -- they won't like the answer to this question. "Since both padawans were of legal age, no investigation was warranted. Both were recommended to counseling, as is standard procedure, but--"

"But Padawan Chun testified that he has been in such situations since the age of fourteen! Does that not warrant an investigation?"

I grit my teeth. "Padawan Chun's experiences on prior missions were irrelevant to this mission. There was nothing to investigate."

Bahr opens his mouth again, but Palpatine stops him, saying, "Senator, it was not Xanatos's decision to determine which aspects of the case to investigate. You are asking him to guess the motivations of the Council. Any response he gives will be his own opinion, and of limited use to this investigation."

Organa smiles and leans back in his seat at those words. I wish I shared his confidence in Palpatine's intentions.

"However," Palpatine continues, "I believe there are a few more issues on which Xanatos can enlighten us."

The room grows quiet again, waiting for him to ask his next question. The sense of foreboding I've been feeling all morning comes to the surface of my thoughts once more.

Mallix seems to consider this his cue to speak. "How are cases handled in which sexual abuse of a minor is involved?"

"I'm not certain," I reply. "I've not been involved in such a case before."

Mallix's eyebrows shoot up at that, and he examines his datapad. "Oh, but you have , Xanatos. I have before me a report of a mission you were assigned five years ago, in which you report being forced to rape a humanoid female child--"

"That report is confidential!" I spit, rising to my feet. "You should not have access to such files, nor should you be revealing that information in this forum." I glare at the senators, all of whom are staring at me in surprise. "I have already made it clear that I will not answer questions about confidential missions."

I resume my seat, and try to regain my calm. I am angry, though -- angrier than I've been in a long time. I've done many things in my life that I want to forget, and that particular mission is one of them. I refuse to be judged for something so horrible, and taken completely out of context.

"Perhaps we should adjourn for a few minutes," Palpatine suggests. I see him glance pointedly at someone behind me, but I don't look to see who it is. I focus all of my energy into glaring at him. He doesn't look at me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and turn to see Adi Gallia staring down at me, a solemn expression on her face. "A word?" she asks, gesturing toward the door that leads to the private chamber.

I stand and follow her. Once the door closes behind us, I see a glint of anger in her eyes. It catches me by surprise.

"Xanatos, you will cooperate with this investigation," she says, forcing her tone of voice to be calm. "The Council allowed the committee access to those files, and declassified them for the purposes of this hearing."

"What?" I'm so stunned I can only blink stupidly at her for a moment. "How can they... I wasn't informed!"

"I'm informing you now," she replies.

"This is ridiculous!" I hiss, struggling to contain my outrage. "They're trying to create a scandal, can't you see that?"

"The decision was made to cooperate fully," Adi says. "We opened our archives. To do otherwise would have made us look as if we have something to hide."

"But they don't understand our ways," I reply. "Do you have any idea how all of this looks out of context, from the outside?" She gives me a blank look, and I can't help but groan. "Councilor, with all due respect, this was the wrong thing to do. We're going to be skewered by this committee, whether we are open and honest, or not."

"That is your opinion, Xanatos," she replies, now sounding annoyed. "The Council has made its decision, and you are expected to abide by it."

"Even if I know it's the wrong thing to do?" I say, giving her a defiant glare. "It's my ass up there on trial, you know."

"This is not a trial."

I snort. "That's what you think."

She bristles, Jedi control slipping at last. "You are out of line, Knight! You will cooperate with this investigation, or you will face consequences from the Council." With that, she brushes past me and storms out of the room.

I take a moment to collect myself before going back inside. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I glance at Qui-Gon's face as I return to my seat. He tries to smile, but he's a bit pale. Obi won't look at me, and Siri is studying her fingernails. So much for my friends' support.

"If we're all ready to resume?" Palpatine asks. His tone is congenial, which makes me want to throttle him.

Mallix leans forward, peering at me over his datapad. "Knight Xanatos, I would like to return to the topic of collected surveillance videos, if we might." I nod at him, and he returns an unsettling smile. "Where are these videos kept?"

"In the archive," I reply. "Which I'm sure you must know by now." My smirk is ignored.

"And videos which feature underage beings in sexual situations?"

I shrug. "They're kept in the archive as well, I believe."

"And if one wanted to view those videos, what sort of permission would one need?"

"None, if the videos in question were unclassified." I snort. "I suppose the classified one would be available to any senator who wished to investigate them."

Mallix ignores the gibe. "So these illegal, sexually explicit videos are available for anyone to review, if they're unclassified?"

"Yes," I reply.

"Are they kept anywhere else?"

I shrug. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Mallix frowns, as if thinking. "Would there be any reason for a Council member to keep copies of such videos on his personal account?"

I hold my breath for a moment. I know exactly what they're getting at. I resist the urge to turn around and look at Adi. She wanted me to cooperate. I'll show her cooperation , then.

"No," I reply. "There would be no reason whatsoever. None that I can think of."

Mallix looks surprised, and glances at Bahr. Even Palpatine appears to have been caught off-guard by my response.

"And are you aware of any member of the Council who might have such a cache of videos?" Bahr asks.

"No, I'm not aware. I can't imagine the Council would condone such behavior, or tolerate it of they knew it existed." I think I can feel Adi's glare hitting the back of my head.

Mallix studies his datapad intently. "We have received information implying that a Councilor by the name of Plo Kloon has a large cache of video in his personal account. These videos are alleged to depict underage Jedi padawans in various situations, most of which involve sexual activity."

"Are those videos from actual missions," I ask, "or are they from the security feed of the backroom of a club here on Coruscant?" The room titters, and Mallix fixes me with a contemptuous smile. He thinks he has me.

"To your knowledge, would Councilor Kloon have any legitimate reason to keep such a collection?"

I return his smile. "I know of no reason. He isn't associated with mission assignment or review, to the best of my knowledge. Perhaps you should ask him that question."

The senators at the dais confer in a hushed whisper, then turn back to face us. "We will adjourn for today," Palpatine says. "We will reconvene tomorrow, at which time we will ask Councilor Kloon to testify." He is looking at someone behind me as he speaks; I assume it's Adi. "Xanatos, we appreciate your cooperation with this committee."

I glare at him, but he only smiles.

"You've got balls -- I'll give you that," Qui says as we collapse onto the sofa in his quarters. I grin and kiss him, and Obi-Wan shakes his head in mild disgust.

The door chime sounds, and Obi goes to answer it. "Anakin," he says, surprised. "This isn't a good time--"

"He's here to see me," I say, and Obi steps aside to let Anakin enter. The boy glances nervously at Obi as he passes, and then sits beside me.

"I heard you really gave it to the senate committee today," he grins.

"Where did you hear that?" I ask.

Anakin shrugs. "Everybody knows."

"Confidential, my ass," I mutter. "That was exactly my point in refusing to answer their questions."

Obi rolls his eyes, and then stares at Anakin. Anakin fidgets a bit and moves closer to me. It occurs to me that I haven't yet told them the news.

I stand and pull Anakin to his feet to stand in front of me. I put my hands on his shoulders and smile at Qui.

I don't even have to say the words -- Qui breaks into a grin. "Welcome, Padawan Skywalker," he says, extending a hand to Anakin.

Anakin's eyes widen, and he smiles as he takes it. "Thank you, Master Jinn."

Obi's jaw is clenched, but I'm not certain if it means he doesn't approve of me taking a padawan or of Anakin having a master. After a moment, he forces himself to smile. "You'll have your hands full with this one," he tells Anakin, and winks at me. Anakin beams.

The buzzing of my commlink interrupts what's beginning to feel like a warm moment. Adi Gallia's voice fills the room: " Report to the Council chamber immediately ."

I can't help but grimace as I switch it off. Qui and I exchange a glance. I knew this was coming. They're not happy with me, and I'm sure they'll find many creative ways to let me know.

I sigh and glance at Anakin. "Want to come watch your master get reamed by the Council?"

"Wicked!" he says, grinning. Ah, to be twelve again, and so enthusiastic about everything. "I'm thirteen tomorrow," he supplies.

I must work on my shielding.

"Actually, would you mind if I kept Anakin here?" Qui asks, raising an eyebrow. "I have some things I'd like to talk to him about." It might be best if he doesn't see this.

I nod and squeeze Anakin's shoulder. He looks up at me, and then back to Qui, and nods his agreement.

I glance at the chrono on the wall of the Balilaka Tea House -- it's hard to believe only four hours have passed since I walked out of Qui's quarters, with no idea what was about to happen. When I finally returned there, in shock, he immediately commed Dooku and brought me here.

"Kloon was livid," I tell them, studying the tea leaves in the bottom of my cup. "He believes it's my fault that he has been called to testify before the Senate committee."

"They were investigating him before you said a word," Qui snorts. "This scandal is going to damage the image of the Order, perhaps irreparably."

"I expected to be dressed down," I sigh, unable to stop thinking about my own troubles. "But this... Yoda was the only one who advocated for me. And I don't even get a chance to defend myself! They're going to review my records and decide whether or not to expel me from the Order, and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it." I shake my head again; all of this is surreal.

"Yoda is wise," Dooku nods, "but his hands are tied. I believe he sees what is coming, and that it might be for the best."

I snort. "Have I become such a liability to the Jedi?" Dooku's eyes are warm and sympathetic, and Qui appears to be lost in thought.

"Not a liability," Dooku replies, pouring more tea into my cup. "A danger. You, like your master, are far too independent for the Council's liking. You follow the will of the Force, and they follow the will of the Senate, more often than not." He pauses, and Qui's eyes regain their focus to look up at his former master. "And the Senate is falling ever more under the influence of the Sith."

We're quiet for a long moment, sipping bitter tea and staring at the table before us. I look up to see Qui watching me. He smiles, sadly, and I return it. And then it hits me: I could lose everything.

"Fuck," I groan, squeezing my eyes shut. "What am I going to do if I'm expelled? What would happen to Anakin?" I feel Qui's hand on my thigh beneath the table, squeezing lightly in a gesture of support. I don't dare open my eyes now; I refuse to cry about this.

"You could join those of us who believe the Order is on the wrong path," Dooku says. "There are others. Some who have been expelled from the Order for political reasons, others who have left because of philosophical differences. We have established a base of operations on one of the moons of Yavin" I open my eyes, and Dooku leans forward, whispering, "We're starting a new order of Jedi, Xan. An order that is dedicated to following the will of the Force, not the political machinations of the Republic. An order of Jedi who will work for the common good, unrestricted by the laws of the Senate." His voice lowers even more. "An order that isn't afraid to use the power of the dark, when necessary. It is the only way to defeat the Sith, and even Yoda understands this."

I blink at him, uncertain if I believe what I'm hearing. I look at Qui; his eyes have narrowed, but I can see that his mind is racing, processing everything. I look back to Dooku, and see the determination on his face.

"How many?" I ask.

"Nearly forty," he replies. "Feln and his padawan are joining us as well; they're leaving with me tomorrow. There's room on the ship for you and Anakin."

"Anakin?" I repeat, surprised. "I couldn't ask that of him. He wants to become a Jedi so badly, and this--"

"He will be a Jedi if you join us," Dooku assures me. "There are other padawans at the base, and we've begun training them. Several Jedi have encountered children, even teenagers, who are strong in the Force, and have brought them to be trained. We will turn none away."

I take a deep breath and release it, slowly.

My steps are shaky as I near Anakin's quarters. Qui sent him back here when the boy began to sense my unease in the Council chamber. He'd hoped Anakin would find something to distract himself from worrying about me. I know Anakin well enough to know that didn't work.

His door slides open before I can knock, and he stares up at me, face pale. "What happened?"

"Sit down," I sigh, walking in past him. I sit on his bed, but he stands before me, looking down at me. I take his hands in mine, and tell him everything. He listens for a long time, blue eyes full of sympathy. "If I am expelled, I will leave and join Dooku," I tell him. "I may do so anyway. You can choose to come with me, but it isn't too late for you to find another master and remain here."

He smiles and squeezes my fingers. "I already have a master, you know." I start to remind him what he'd be giving up, but he cuts me off. "Xan, if it weren't for you, I'd still be a slave, fixing rusted out droids and landspeeders on a barren rock of a planet. My mother would still be a slave, and might even have a few more illegitimate children to show for it." He clenches his jaw and pauses, then looks down at our clasped hands. "You were the first Jedi I'd ever met, and I thought that was what Jedi did -- that they freed slaves. And I wanted to be just like you. But then I came here and learned that what you did was technically illegal." He looks back up at me, a determined expression on his face. "I was going to leave here if you didn't take me as your padawan. My mother and I were going to leave Coruscant, find a way to build a new life for ourselves."

"You still can," I tell him. "You're free to do what you want with your life."

"I want to be a Jedi," he whispers. "I want to be like you. I want to find my aunt and uncle, and I want to free them. I want to free all the slaves in the Galaxy."

I stare back at him, and the dark intensity in his eyes startles me. I knew he was powerful the very moment I first met him. He will be a great Jedi. "I believe you just might," I reply, pulling him towards me. He leans into my chest, allowing me to hug him. He's already so tall, growing up so fast. I cup his face in my hands and kiss his forehead, whispering, "I would be honored, Anakin Skywalker, to call you padawan, whether in this Order or another."

He grins and squirms out of my grasp. "If we're going to be Jedi in a new order, would I still have to get that stupid haircut?"

I can't help but laugh. "Anakin, if it were up to me, you could wear your hair however you like."

As I walk back to my own quarters, I feel strangely light, nearly optimistic. It's almost as if a great burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

I turn the corner, and smile.

(Obi)

Xan's gone. I should be ecstatic about it. He and Anakin left a few hours ago, not very long after hearing the results of the inquiry. After announcing that Plo Koon had been cleared of any wrong-doing, the committee accused Xan of acting inappropriately in his dealings with Jal, and of putting me and Siri at risk. Following the wishes of the Senate, the Council cut him loose. Expelled him. He left for Yavin with Anakin, off to join this new order of Dooku's. Qui's all mine. I'm lying here in our quarters, post coital haze upon me. Yet I'm not ecstatic. Qui's not quite here. His mind is clearly
somewhere else.

I move against him, pressing my buttocks into the curl of his lap as he lies. He doesn't respond to me. He just fucked me, but it's like I was just a trick. There was no feeling there. I prop myself up on my elbow and look down at him. He's staring up at the ceiling, and his eyes don't so much as flicker in my direction.  "Qui?"

He looks at me, his eyes slowly coming into focus. "Obi."

"Oh good," I tease, "you do remember my name."

He arches an eyebrow, and a wry smile twists his lips. "I assure you, I could never forget it." He rolls out of bed, and jerks on his leggings, and runs a hand through his hair.

I sit up, frowning at his back.  "I wasn't sure after that fuck. I could have been anyone."

He rounds on me, his cheeks flushing. "You will have to forgive me if I seem distracted. I've had a very bad day."

I get up with a sigh and wrap my arms around his waist. I was bothered, too. Hells, who wouldn't be? The Council is under fire, the entire Order is being questioned. But Qui has to understand there is a greater good to be served. He can't see past what happened to Xan.   "Qui, I don't like it either. They were wrong to single out Xan. But he's done it, at least partially, to himself. If he had followed the Code..."

Qui snorts at that and pushes me away.  "Padawan, the Code isn't the issue. The problem is in interpretation, and the weak-willed individuals that are representing us.  You of all people should appreciate what an undercover operative has to endure."

"Did I say anything--"

"Yes," he interrupts, "you did. Xan was expelled to make an example of him. He was sacrificed publicly in order to save a member of the Council, so that the Order could save face with the Senate. Where is the line in the Code to support that?"

"Xan broke the rules," I say stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You did, too. You broke Xan's rules and jeopardized the entire mission."

I snort at that. "You believe that? After all the public humiliation that I've had to face, you honestly think that I'm the one that should have been on the block today?"

He shakes his head. "There was no reason for the investigation. Someone in the Senate was looking for a reason to ruin the Jedi, this was just the first convenient opportunity. The Council should have seen that. Others did."

I roll my eyes. "Others? Like who? Aubris Feln?"

Qui's eyes are burning. "Dooku can link Bahr, Mallix and Zaricch to the Sith. He has evidence, Obi-Wan, and there's more. Apparently someone has deleted files related to these senators, as well as Senator Palpatine, from the Archives."

I can only gape at him in shock.  This can't be true. Somehow I find my voice. "And what makes you think that you can believe him?" 

He looks at me, and I feel like the village halfwit. "What happened today is all I need to convince me."

I shrug. "I don't like what happened today any more than you do. But I trust the Council to do what was necessary to preserve the Order. Bruck opened his mouth when he shouldn't have, and that allowed the Senate to get involved."

He throws his hands up. "Are you really my apprentice?"

"I don't know. Would a Jedi Master speak against the Order he serves?"

"Yes, if the Force wills it.  I've been thinking that perhaps it's best if we follow Xan. I can't in good conscience follow the will of a group that would do what I witnessed today."  He grabs my arms, his hands tightening. "Didn't part of you feel betrayed today?
Didn't it make you ashamed to be called Jedi, when you saw that pretense of justice?"

I shake my head. "No. I don't feel ashamed. I feel proud that we are guardians of the galaxy. I don't like everything that happens, but ultimately, I believe the words of the Code. I can't pick and choose based on the plight of someone I love. If you want to go to Xan, you'll leave me behind. You made a promise to me, Master.  What of duty?"

His hands slide down my arms and he takes my hand. "I want you to go with me. We will still be Jedi." He pauses a moment, watching his thumb trace over the back of my hand. "You would be free to love Bail Organa."

My breath catches in my throat. I'm free to love him now, aren't I?"  My eyes search his face for some hint that this is all a joke, but there is nothing.  I shake my head.  "Bribing me with Bail won't be enough to get me to agree to this crazy scheme of yours."  I wrap my arms around him, and his back muscles tense beneath my fingers. I move against him and slip my hand inside his leggings, stroking the soft skin over the cleft of his ass. "You would leave me and the Order, on the words of a crazy old man and your arrogant lover?"  I drop a kiss on his shoulder and he flinches away.  His hands tighten on my arms, and he pulls them from around his body.

"Go. I need to think, not fuck."

"I wasn't aware that the two were mutually exclusive," I hiss between clenched teeth. Fine. Let him meditate on it. He will see reason soon enough. He's just upset. I glance over my shoulder, and he's already on his knees.

I'm standing on the street, staring up at the balconies above, counting swiftly to find Bail's. It's the balcony where T'nell's shirt sailed off into the Coruscant night, the balcony where I said an uncertain future didn't matter. Where I said I loved him.  I try to swallow the lump in my throat, but it won't budge.

I know I have to speak with Bail and try to clear the air. I don't want there to be things between us anymore. My uncertainty and upset over Qui makes this even more necessary. I need to know where things stand with Bail.  I'm trying not to be bitter, trying not to think about the times he could have told me about Errie – rather, Padme, and didn't.  I go into his building and the doorman gives me a cursory nod. He knows me, and signals me up. Once I'm at Bail's door, I waver again. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. Not after what happened with Qui. I reach out for the door and jump back in surprise when it opens for me.

"You know, when we're married I'm going to have to have servant droids follow you around and pick up after you. I refuse to live…" Bail trails off when he turns, almost running into me. A flash of panic crosses his face, so quickly that I'm not sure I didn't
imagine it.

"Bail, Padme," I say softly. "I'm sorry, I was just stopping by to… never mind. You're on your way out," I fumble around and mentally kick myself. For someone who has been trained as a diplomat I have a deplorable lack of words.

Padme smiles at me. "Oh, it's all right, Padawan Kenobi.  I was just leaving. He's all yours for the evening. Damned lucky for him, I'd say," she giggles.

She's off down the hall and Bail is just standing there, staring at me. I shift uncomfortably and brush past him into his apartment.  "Maybe you should have a revolving door installed in your apartment."

He steps inside, and the door hisses closed behind him. "I hear they are standard issue at the Temple ."

I glare at him, surprised at the spikiness of his mood towards me. He knows what a week I've had. "Well," I say evenly, "we aren't the hypocrites that make arranged marriages only to fuck around behind the staid image."

"Oh, no, but you do fuck around."  Bail swipes his glass off the table and pours himself a drink. "Sometimes, even with your master."

I cross my arms over my chest, taken aback by his bluntness "So? You knew Qui and I had sex." I watch as horror spreads across his face. Perhaps he didn't.

"I most certainly did not know you and your master had sex," he confirms. "How can you be so flippant about that?" Bail shakes his head, like he's amazed.

I frown. "Hells, you've been at Rising. Everyone knows that Qui and I have sex. It's never been a secret." I move a step closer, deepening my frown. "Unlike your impending marriage."

He slams his glass on the table. "Well, if I should have realized about Qui, then I would expect you to realize that, as an Alderaani, I would have an arranged marriage." He softens his voice and reaches for my hand. "Ben, I've told you how traditional my family is, how concerned--"

"Oh, yes, I've heard all about your father," I say, staring at our joined hands.  "The Jedi-hating, politician-loving man who represses his son. A son who is a Junior Senator and needs to find the balls to become his own man." I pull away from him and stride to the open balcony window. Tonight is not going well for me at all. I shouldn't have come here right now. The tension of the hearing and my worries over Qui are affecting my mood.

He follows me. I know my words have hurt, but he's trying to calm the situation, keep the conversation measured. "Don't you see, that's exactly what I'm trying to do: build a career for myself, so I'm not counting on my family's name or my father's good will."

I turn to face him, a bitter smile twisting my lips. "Force forbid your relationship with me should get in the way of your career."

"Did you come over here looking for a fight?"

"No. Actually, I came over to sort this out. The fight is just a bonus." I mentally berate myself. I'm just so angry that I seem to be the only person who didn't know about Padme. That he couldn't tell me that.

"Why don't you start by telling me how long you've been fucking your master?"

I sigh and lean against the balcony railing. I'm not sure why he's so hung up on my sleeping with Qui. The information is hardly marked confidential. "I've been having sex with Qui since I was seventeen."

"So the committee was right. It is common for masters to sexually abuse their padawans."

"Certainly not!" I say, shaking my head in amazement at his interpretation of this. "It's not abuse. I seduced him . And that fucking committee was a mockery. They set out to make fools of the Jedi.  It was bad enough that you sat up there and did precious little to stop it, but now you agree with them? I thought you understood us."

"Ben! What did you expect me to do? I'm on a committee, and I happen to have the least power of anyone up there! And maybe I don't understand this. You've been in some kind of relationship with Qui all this time, and you're trying to tell me he means nothing to you? Hells, at least I don't love Padme!"

I turn and lean out over the balcony, scanning the horizon until my eyes alight on the highest tower of the Temple , just visible between the buildings, far in the distance. "I'm not allowed to love anyone, remember? Certainly not Qui." Suddenly I realize I'm confused. I thought this was love, yet we've both lied; neither of us has been entirely honest. I shiver slightly in the chill air. Everything seems to be spinning out of control, and I'm losing grip on my life. I turn to face Bail again. I have to try and control this. "Whatever I have with Qui has nothing to do with what is between you and me."

"What exactly is that, Ben? Because I don't fucking know anymore."

I sigh again. He's as out of control as I am. That mission, this hearing, they've changed everything. I rue the day I ever accepted Xan's offer. I rub angrily at my eyes. It all changed in that cell. That's when I lost control. Bail's still talking, but I'm hardly hearing him now. 

"You sleep with whomever you please, and you get upset that I'm engaged. Honestly, did you think we would end up married someday?" 

I hear that. Loud and clear.

My voice begins to rise a little now, and there's a sickening feeling of inevitability growing in the pit of my stomach. "I don't know what I was expecting other than you would fight for me, love me. Be loyal to me. I don't care who you fuck, as long as inside,
you care about me more.  But lately, you dance for whoever pulls your strings."

"And you don't? Your master, the Order --  you have obligations as well. You have a duty that will put you in opposition to me. And isn't Qui-Gon Jinn pulling your strings? Isn't he the reason you bolt home early every time you stay over?"

"He's my master, Bail."

"He's your lover."

"Padme will be yours, even if this is only to build your precious career."

"It's not the same thing!"

"It certainly isn't. I'm not getting married." Shit. I don't want to fight with him. I came here to clear the air. All I'm getting is more upset. I'm torn now. "Qui needs me now, more than ever," I explain.  "After what the committee did to Xan, he's a mess. Don't
expect me to abandon him, just because you're being insecure. I'm his Padawan, and that word has connotations that a senator will never understand."

"And one of those connotations is that he owns part of your life, just as my father owns part of mine."

"But I fought Qui and the Order to be with you!" I cry in frustration. "You never risked a damned thing. I'm shoved in a closet as far as your career is concerned, and I always will be. Maybe I don't want to hide for the rest of my fucking life."

"Maybe you shouldn't."

That stops me cold. I didn't come here for this. I don't know what I came here for exactly, but it wasn't to lose Bail. But it becomes crystal clear in this moment: part of me had lost him long ago. Long before it ever began. All those warnings, and I didn't listen to a damned thing. Qui knew this would happen. He tried his best. The bile rises in my throat at the thought of what I almost lost, from the inquest over Aubris Feln, and the investigations that followed. And Bail didn't even care enough to challenge his own precious traditions.

"Maybe I should just leave," I say finally.

I watch as the shock settles over him, like fog settling over a fire. "Ben…I didn't mean…"

I stop him with a shake of my head. "Yes, you did mean it. And so did I." I can't keep the bitterness from my voice. "We both know that now is the time. You don't need to have the Force to know it. It's not enough for either of us. So cut your losses, Senator. I'm
cutting mine."  My heart is pounding so loud I know he can hear it.

My eyes scan his face, one last time, remembering the moment I saw him in Rising for the first time, the thrill of coming to this place with him, of being with him and feeling something .  All those sweet, delicious, funny moments racing through me, so fast I feel my stomach start to churn. And now, I can add the memory of his face when I told him goodbye.

By the time I reach the Temple , my heart has stuttered and fallen into the pit of my stomach. I don't want to go home to Qui. I close my eyes and lean against the wall, sliding down until I'm squatting in the hallway. Leaving Bail was the right thing, but it hurts. I don't want to go to Qui like this, but I need to be with someone. I want to sleep and not think. I need to crash. It comes to me then; I know the perfect place to go.

I make my way to T'nell's quarters, wondering if it's too late to ring the bell, if I should comm ahead. I stand indecisively in the hallway, and finally palm the chime. In a minute Master Faelin is smiling at me. "Obi-Wan, come in."

"I hope I'm not disturbing you --"

"Nonsense. Come in. T'nell is in his room." She looks at me appraisingly. "How is Qui-Gon? These proceedings have been very difficult for him."

I nod. "Of course, they have been difficult for all of us."

"Yes, but for him this has become a crisis of faith. What trust he had in the Council is badly shaken. It will be very difficult for him to keep his faith in such an Order." She is staring at me intently. "More will be tempted to leave after what happened today."

I nod. "Yes, but not me."

Her smile is warm, and I find myself smiling back at her.  "I'm glad to see that despite everything that's happened, you find the strength to remain here. Qui should realize what a credit you are to his training." She kisses my cheek and motions me to T'nell's room.

He is sprawled across his bed, reading, clad only in his undershorts. 

"Is that an invitation?" I ask, grinning.

He snorts and drops the datapad onto the table. "For you? Always."

I fall in bed beside him, and he rolls to his side to look at me. "What's up?" he asks brightly.

"I just had it out with Bail."

He frowns at that. "What do you mean, had it out with Bail?"

"It means you won't be having a threesome with him anytime soon."

He whacks me with the pillow. "Get the fuck out of here! You and Bail split?"

I nod. "And Qui and I …we had words." I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. "After what's happened with Xan, he's thinking of leaving the Order permanently."

"What?" T'nell yelps, sitting up. "He can't leave! You can't leave! Where would you go?"

I hunch my shoulders. "With Xan. To this new temple on Yavin, I suppose. But I'm not leaving, T'nell. I can't. This is my home. This is where I belong."

T'nell nods, his eyes filled with sympathy. "It's where we all belong. Separating from the Order isn't going to fix anything. It feels wrong that they sent Xan away, but I don't see that they had any choice. Things were so out of control by then, it's lucky that the Senate didn't demand that funding be cut to the Temple immediately."

I look up at T'nell, and for a moment I see what Qui must have looked like as a young man, before the broken nose, and the age lines. "Do you think Master Koon was really doing any of what they accused?"

"Of course not!" T'nell exclaimed. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"It's easy to say that when there aren't incriminating tapes of you floating around." Oh, I'm really feeling sorry for myself now. But T'nell knows me as well as anyone, better than most.

His hand caresses my chest. "Those tapes don't matter to anyone in the Order. It was part of a mission. And people have seen as bad, if not worse, in the back rooms at Rising. Master Koon could go down there and watch until his goggles fogged up. Why would he need to watch Bruck shag your sorry ass?"

I laugh. He makes it seem so sensible. "I don't know." I guide his hand down to my crotch, and he grins. "But I do know why I came here."

"Long night, flyboy?" he teases.

I only nod and shift restlessly beneath his hand. I sit up long enough to pull my shirt over my head and lie down again. He moves astride me and kisses me, slowly licking my lips, over my teeth and sliding along my tongue.

I'm all but whimpering by the time he reaches my belly, his tongue plunging into my belly button, fucking it. His hands are undoing my pants the whole time, and when I arch against him, he slides them over my hips and tugs them off. He's back in seconds, his mouth closing over the head of my cock, his tongue swirling around the slit. Gods, when he does that I can't think anymore. He takes more of my cock into his mouth until it nudges the back of his throat. As he slides back, the point of his tongue flicks over all the
sensitive places, before plunging down, taking me deep into his mouth again. There's a lot to be said for fuck buddies. I moan as he pulls away, and I open my eyes to his wide grin.

"What?"

He shakes his head and dips down again to lick the base of my cock, sucking lightly on my testicles, before he flicks his tongue across my perineum. Gods. I can't think as the flat of his tongue laps over my hole. I curl my legs against my chest, opening to him in
encouragement. He laughs softly as I moan, but his tongue traces my opening, the point teasing, forcing its way in, before pulling out to lave over me once more. I can't think, can't breathe, when he does this. I don't know how long he stays there, spearing me with
his tongue, but when he pulls away I'm panting, almost ready to come, just from him doing that. He licks at the trails of precome that are on my belly as he reaches for a barrier.

"Gods, T'nell, hurry," I urge.

He just giggles as he rolls the barrier on. "You're really desperate aren't you?"

I nod and take my cock in my hand, stroking it. He moves his hands under my ass, raising my hips to enter me while he's still on his knees. He pushes into me hard, stopping for a moment when he's in deep. His hands slide over my hips and up my legs, stroking them
lovingly before grasping them and splaying them as he starts to move in me. He's hitting my prostate at each thrust, and I'm not going to last long like this.  And from the look on his face, neither is he. I grasp my cock and jerk it a couple of times, and that's all it takes before I'm coming, spattering against my stomach.

T'nell grunts as he thrusts into me hard a few more times, his fingers biting into my legs as he comes, his body bowed.  He pulls out of me, easing my legs down, and licks the come off my belly on his way to kiss me. I moan as I taste myself on his tongue. He
laughs into my mouth, and I break the kiss. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I just feel like laughing. I'm entitled, aren't I?"

I force a smile. It's easier to be happy when you're fucking. But invariably people want to talk afterwards. "I suppose. Though there are some who would say there's nothing to laugh about anymore."   My voice catches and comes out a bit too thin. I turn and face the
wall. I want to sleep, to forget. Fucking hells.

T'nell shifts, and he spoons behind me, wrapping an arm protectively around me. He understands. "There is always something to laugh about, Obi. There is always something to keep you going. Things will work out somehow. They always do."

I keep thinking about Qui, and that look in his eyes. He wants to leave. I feel the longing in him to follow Xan. I always thought he loved me more than anything. Maybe at one point he did. I always worried that he loved me in a way I couldn't love him. But the thought of losing him makes it clear: I've loved him all along. Tomorrow, I promise myself. Tomorrow, I will show him that I can be enough. Tomorrow I will give him a reason to stay.

Qui's not there when I return to quarters, and I wonder where he's gone so early. I don't dwell on it, as I am late for class. I spent too much time in T'nell's bed. I honestly don't see how T'nell makes it anywhere on time. But my time with him has buoyed me. I still
feel the nagging in the back of my head that says Bail is gone, but I can't concentrate on that now. I have to concentrate on Qui. I know he needs me.

When I return in the afternoon, there are two bags by the door. "Kicking me out?" I ask. I know it is the wrong thing to say, but they're the only words that come to me. I never actually thought he would leave.

He just shakes his head. "Come with me. Please."

Part of me wants to pretend I don't understand; the childish part wants to hide from this, but I can't. "You know I can't do that. That I won't follow you on some damned fool crusade. I've worked too hard to get to where I am to throw it all away."

He crosses the room to stand in front of me, his eyes burning with a hope, a fire I've rarely seen in him before. "You won't be throwing away anything, Obi-Wan. You will still be a Jedi, but you won't be trapped in this horrible situation. The Sith are gaining influence." He places his hands on my shoulders, and his tone has become pleading. "I am asking you to come with me before it's too late. We can still make a difference

"How? By dividing the Order? That's what the Sith want, if what you believe is true. They want us to squabble amongst ourselves and splinter off. Divide and conquer. It's one of the first rules of engagement. You taught me that."

He takes my hands in his. "I also taught you that you must follow the will of the Force. And this is the right path. Please come with me."

"I can't. Don't you see? I don't think it is right." I pull a hand free and stroke over his jaw, smoothing his beard. "I'm asking you to stay with me."

He closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them they are almost black and filled with remorse. "I'm sorry, I can't. There is no place for me here anymore."

I pull away, wrapping my arms around myself. "How could you do this? I thought you loved me."

There are tears in his eye when he answers. "I did. I do. But this is too important. This is about more than my feelings for you."

I blink back the tears that are forming. "It doesn't have to be. Qui, listen. We can fix this. But we have to follow the rules. If I've learned anything, it's that there is always wiggle room. We can start--"

"You won't be cast out because I leave. Yoda has agreed to take over your training. It won't be long until you're ready for your knighting." He picks up his bags and shoulders them. "I'm proud to have had a hand in your training, Obi-Wan Kenobi." He pauses, looking at me. "I love you. You will always have a place at my side, if you wish it."

I can't look at him anymore. My throat aches with the tears, and I don't want him to see me cry.  He kisses me then, softly, and it finally sinks in. He's leaving. He's really leaving me. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him close, clinging to him as though he's all I have left to keep me breathing. I give him everything I've ever held back in that kiss, hoping he will stay. He reaches up and loosens my arms from around his neck, and he steps away. "May the Force be with you, Padawan Kenobi." 

The door hisses shut behind him, and I realize that I'm gasping. He left me. The tears fall now, but there's no one left to see them.

A thin red beam slashes across my chest and I smile at the play of color. Oh, the glitter gel was a nice touch. I slink into Rising, and the crowd parts before me, just like it always has. The silver shimmersilk shirt flutters as I walk, and I know I look good. There is no doubt, and I've got offers before I move even a meter forward.

I want to lose myself in this place, as I haven't in far too long. I am absorbed by the crowd as I absorb the music, the lights. I dance until I'm mindless and lost, writhing against whomever is closest, taking whatever they offer. Fuck Qui-Gon Jinn and Xanatos. Fuck Bail Organa and his slut. I don't need any of it.

Arms snake around me from behind, and I sink back against T'nell, as we move together. "Are you all right?" he whispers in my ear.

I laugh, almost euphoric from intoxicants. "Not yet. But I will be, just as soon as I take Mr. Tall-Dark-And-Fuck Me to the back. I nod towards the man in question. I catch his eye, and he turns towards me as I move away from T'nell.

"Obi," T'nell says, catching my arm, turning me to face him. "I meant are you okay ?

I jerk my arm out of his grasp, and flash him my best and brightest smile. "Why wouldn't I be? I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi." 

FIN