Master Apprentice Archive Photographs & Memories: The Life and Times of Qui-Gon Jinn - 2000-05-29 Quick search:

Archive: MA, any others just ask, I probably won't say no

My Home Page: http://www.jediphiles.com/~mali

Rating: G

Category: AU

Spoilers: None

Summary: A series of "photographs" and "memories" that relate to Qui-Gon. Each segment is a stand-alone piece, and they are in no certain order.

Disclaimer: These beautiful boys aren't mine, they belong to George. I'm just playing with them for a bit. I promise to put them back when I'm done. Don't sue - I've got no money. I've spent it all on seeing TPM way too many times and buying SW toys and feeding my Liam obsession.

Feedback: Oh yes, please. Good, bad or indifferent.

Author's Notes: These were inspired by the wonderful series "Snapshots: Obi-Wan Kenobi, This Is Your Life" done by Pumpkin. It is with her permission that I attempt a similar series about Qui-Gon's life. Pumpkin, thank you so much for allowing me to play in your sandbox.

Special thanks to my master and RavenD for their quick betas, though I didn't use all of their suggestions, so any mistakes are probably still my fault.

"What are you doing here, little boy? Shouldn't you be back in the crèche with the other babies?"

Qui-Gon refused to look at the group of laughing Padawans that confronted him when he entered the training room, knowing that they would be waiting for him, teasing him. He badly wanted to be accepted by the others, but understood the reasons behind his being treated like a pariah.

Not only was he the Apprentice of one of the greatest Masters in the history of the Order, but he was also nearly two years younger than the youngest of Padawans. Master Yoda had recognized the strength of the Force in the young boy and had surprised everyone by taking the lad on as an Apprentice. Qui-Gon was very aware of how fortunate he was and did everything in his power to prove himself worthy of the confidence the venerable Jedi Master had placed in him.

Unable to do anything about the animosity, he chose instead to focus on his training. He studied hard and did very well in all of his classes; he spent endless hours practicing the various katas and saber drills, progressing quickly through the ranks of Padawan Learners.

"So, what are you going to do today, Jinn?" one of the boys asked with a sneer. "Ready to take on the seventh form?" They had been taunting him for a couple of weeks about this particular kata, every since he had fallen several times while first attempting it. The fact that most Padawans did not even get past the fourth form until well into their second year of Apprenticeship did not help matters in the least.

The exercise, performed on a very narrow balance beam that was placed about halfway between the high, vaulted ceiling and floor, called for a series of complicated mid-air back flips while blindfolded. It required tremendous focus, and a small misstep or break in concentration could result in a very nasty fall.

When he first approached his Master about attempting it, Yoda had refused to allow it. "Great faith, I have in you, young Padawan. But ready for this you are not." And then seeing the disappointment in the boy's face, he had relented. "Try it you may," the little green troll had sighed wearily. "But only if there I am to help you."

Qui-Gon was barely able to contain his excitement as they headed for one of the training rooms. He would have preferred it if his Master had reserved a private room, but even the knowledge that he would have an audience did little to dampen his spirit.

"Help you I will, if help you need," Yoda reminded him as the kata began. "Let you hurt yourself, I will not."

He lost his footing on the second leap and was very glad of the Force cushioning his Master provided as he landed gently on the floor. He pretended not to notice the snickers coming from the group of Padawans watching him. Three more times he tried, and three more times he fell, though he did manage to get a bit further along with each try. With each failed attempt, the laughter and snide remarks grew louder, and Qui-Gon wondered why his Master did not say something to group.

"Enough you have had?" Master Yoda asked him when he resolutely picked himself up after the fourth fall.

"No, Master," he answered, unable to hide his frustration. "I want to try it again. I can do this, I know I can."

"Hard headed you are, my young Apprentice. Grow out of this you will, I hope. Try again you may."

Qui-Gon struggled to control his rising anger at both the boys teasing him and his Master's apparent disregard of their rudeness. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, he concentrated on letting his anger and embarrassment go and centering himself in the Force.

"Look at Qui-Goon," one of the Padawans cackled loudly, just as he was about to make his first leap, and despite his best efforts, he could feel his concentration slide away. "I can do this!" he whispered fiercely to himself. But he could not.

He landed with a thud, and even with Yoda's cushioning, the floor was getting harder. "Were you trying to fly, Qui-Goon?" laughed one of the boys. "We should call him Fly-Goon," another one taunted.

Struggling to hold back the tears of humiliation that burned his covered eyes, the young boy once again headed for the ladder.

"Enough, Padawan. Try more you will not," Yoda said quietly.

"I want to do it again," he said, tight lipped as he continued heading for the ladder.

"Qui-Gon," the Master demanded his tone of voice leaving no room for doubt.

Standing at the bottom of the ladder, he turned to towards Yoda. "But Master, I know I can do it, if you will just let me try one more time," he said, unable to hold back the tremor in his voice.

"Enough, I say! Discuss this now we will not!"

With a trembling hand, Qui-Gon pulled off the blindfold, wishing the floor would swallow him whole. Looking at his Master, he started to say something, and then thought better of it. With a nod, the little, green troll turned and began to shuffle towards the door, leaning heavily on his gimmer stick.

He felt the tears of shame brimming, threatening to run over as the boys laughed loudly. "Fly away, little Fly-Goon. Fly away home." Qui-Gon turned to face the speaker, drawing strength around him like a cloak.

He glared at the other boy a long moment and then took a deep breath. "My name is Qui-Gon," he said, with just a hint of the anger he felt, "I would thank you to try to remember that, Glayden Chun." Then, lifting his head proudly, he left the training room, knowing he probably had just made things worse for himself. And he was right.

Padawan Chun seemed to go out of his way to make life miserable for Qui-Gon, never giving him a moment's respite. Everywhere he went, Qui-Gon could hear the snickers and snide remarks that followed him, and though his heart was breaking on the inside, he was very careful to project the calm demeanor befitting a Jedi.

He desperately wanted to talk to Yoda, but feared his Master would think he was being a baby, unable to handle a classic bully. Not all of the other Padawans treated him badly, but he had not been an Apprentice long enough to form any close relationships.

He was determined that he would not let the others get to him today as he settled down to meditate before he began his practice. He was grateful they respected the importance of meditation, and left him alone during that time, but as soon as he finished they were busy harassing him again.

"Hey, Fly-Goon, are you going to fly for us today?" Chun taunted while the others laughed. "Will your Master be coming soon to protect his little cry baby? Oh that's it! We'll call him Qui-Baby!"

Ignoring them as best he could, the boy began his warm-up exercises, enjoying the feel of the Force flowing through him. He was so focused that he was caught completely off-guard by the large body plowing into him, shoving him to the floor. Looking up, he was not surprised to be staring into the mean eyes of Glayden Chun.

"I asked you a question, Qui-Baby, and you didn't answer me. Don't you know babies are supposed to respect their elders, Qui-Baby?"

Sprawled on the floor with the large boy standing over him while the others laughed was finally too much for Qui-Gon. Surging to his feet he glared at the older boy. "What do you want from me, Glayden? I've never done anything to you. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you don't belong here," the older boy snarled. "You think you're special because Yoda is your Master. You act like you know what being a Jedi is all about, but you are nothing more than a baby, and I don't like sharing my space with a baby."

"I am not a baby!" Qui-Gon growled, knowing full well that was exactly what he sounded like. "I am just as much a Padawan as you are, with as much right to be here as you!"

"Then prove it," Chun said, his eyes glinting dangerously. "Do the seventh form without your Master here to protect you."

Qui-Gon looked at him with a shocked expression on his face. "But Master Yoda forbade me to do it unless he was here. You want me to defy my Master?" The idea horrified him.

Glayden gave him a disgusted look. "What a cry baby," he sneered before turning away.

"I am not a baby!" Qui-Gon roared as he reached out to grab Chun. He was out of control now, and he knew it, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. "You want me to do the seventh form? Fine. I'll do it. I'll show you I deserve to be a Padawan!"

He strode angrily to the ladder, grabbed a blindfold and began the climb upwards. At the top, he paused only long enough to put the blindfold on before moving onto the balance beam. He took a deep, cleansing breath and found his center, and then without further thought, began the kata.

The boys seemed to have been surprised into silence, as they made not a sound while Qui-Gon gracefully moved high above them. He landed each back flip with perfect precision, focusing only on the Force as it flowed around him. And then he was finished, the last back flip landing him neatly on the small platform at the other end of the beam. With a shout of elation, he ripped the blindfold from his eyes and looked down at the group staring up at him in awe. "I told you I could do it," he yelled as he started the climb down.

Then it happened. "Good job, Padawan," one of the boys shouted, startling him, and he fell. The horrible sound of his body hitting the floor echoed throughout the training room, and with a startled gasp, several of the boys hurried towards him.

When they reached him, he was face down in a small pool of blood. "Qui-Gon?" one of them asked in a small-terrified voice. For a moment there was only silence, and then the boy moaned softly. He slowly turned his head to look at the group of frightened boys huddled around him.

They were shocked at blood coming from his nose. "Are you hurt badly? Do you want us to call for the healers? Or should we get Master Yoda?"

"Face hurts," he mumbled softly.

Glayden placed a shaking hand on Qui-Gon's back. "Do you think you can get up if we help you?" His voice was trembling, and Qui-Gon was surprised to see the concern in the older boys face.

"Think so."

The boys were incredibly gentle as they helped Qui-Gon to a sitting position. He brought a hand up to touch his bleeding nose and then winced at the contact. "Hurts," he moaned as tears sprang to his eyes.

"I think it's broken," Glayden said, glancing at the other boys for confirmation.

"Broken?" Qui-Gon asked, fighting the panic that tried to consume him. He felt a tear begin to slide down his cheek and he quickly reached up to brush it away, hoping it hadn't been noticed. All he managed to do was bump his nose slightly, causing him to cry out as the excruciating pain exploded in his head and the tears began in earnest.

Hurting badly and humiliated beyond belief at being unable to stop the tears, Qui-Gon tried to huddle in on himself, pulling his knees up and wrapping his arms around them before resting his forehead on his knees. "I'm okay," he mumbled as he started to rock back and forth, "leave me alone."

"Let me see your nose," Glayden said. "I think I can make it a little better."

"Just go away," he was crying in earnest now, the pain in his face worsening because of his position. His shame was rolling off of him in waves, the strong emotion being felt by some of the older boys. Chun looked around him, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, as he tried to understand what he was sensing. After a moment, he recognized the young boy's mind-numbing embarrassment, and was immediately consumed with his own guilt.

"Oh, Qui-Gon," he whispered as his own eyes filled with tears. "I am so sorry for the way I treated you." He leaned forward and wrapped his arms gently around the boy. "And you certainly have nothing to be ashamed of now. Here, move your head back, it shouldn't hurt so much."

Warily the boy raised his aching face to look at Chun, waiting for the laughter to start at the tears that streamed from his eyes. Glayden steadily gazed back at him, letting Qui-Gon see the honesty of his words. "I am very sorry for ever calling you a baby, because I think you are one of the bravest Padawans I have ever known. I never believed you would really get up there, much less actually complete the kata."

"I can't believe you are not screaming in agony," another of the boy's said in awe. "Force, I am three years older than you, and you should have heard me carryon when I hurt my ankle a few months ago. And it wasn't even broken, just badly sprained."

"I think I can heal it a little bit," Glayden said earnestly. "That is if you will let me."

"My Master will expect me to bear my pain until I have confessed my transgression to him," Qui-Gon sighed as he struggled to rise. "I must find him."

Glayden was surprised by Qui-Gon's level of maturity. "Then I'll help you back to your quarters," the older boy said, helping Qui-Gon to his feet. He kept a steadying arm around the shaking boy's waist as he guided him to the door. Looking back at the group of boys he began issuing orders. "One of you go get Master Yoda from the Council Chambers while the rest of you clean up the mess," he said, indicating the blood on the floor.

When they reached the door of Qui-Gon's quarters, Glayden hesitated, unsure of his welcome. "Do you want me to come in and wait with you?" he finally asked, glancing nervously through the open door.

"No, but thank you," Qui-Gon answered as he made his way unsteadily into the room. "My Master is on his way and I want to get this over with."

"I hope he won't be too hard on you, Qui-Gon," Glayden said with feeling. "I could talk to him if you want, tell him we made you do it."

Qui-Gon turned to look at the older boy. "Thank you, Glayden," he said softly, "but you know as well as I do that being teased will not excuse my disobedience. It was not your fault."

He watched Qui-Gon a long moment, blood still dripping from his nose, his eyes beginning to swell, the young boy looked small and broken, and yet he was already more of a true Jedi than most of the older Padawans would ever be. Hearing a sound, Glayden glanced nervously down the long hall before looking back at Qui-Gon. "I guess I better go," he said, "I think I hear your Master coming." And then shyly, "Do you think we can be friends? I mean, I understand if you don't want to, after the way I've treated you."

"I would like that very much, Glayden," Qui-Gon answered with a small smile.

Glayden returned the smile and then turned and quickly fled down the hall. Qui-Gon made his way over to the low couch and sat, waiting for his Master to arrive. He didn't have long to wait.

With a loud swoosh, the door to their quarters opened and Qui-Gon slid to his knees before the great Jedi Master. Fresh pain exploded in his face as he bowed his head and he could do nothing about the tears that leaked from his tightly squeezed eyes.

After a what felt like an eternity of silence, he felt a tendril of healing warmth coming from his Master, and immediately the pain in his face lessened. He listened as the old Jedi shuffled closer and then his chin was clasped and gently lifted by a small, gnarled hand. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring into the obviously disappointed eyes of his beloved Master.

"I am so sorry for disobeying you, Master," Qui-Gon whispered, not trusting his voice.

"Know what you did, I do," Yoda answered gruffly. "Know the why I do not. Tell me you will, hmm?"

Qui-Gon was silent for a moment, thinking about his answer. "It was because of pride, Master," he said finally, his voice shaking. "I allowed the teasing from the other Padawans to influence my serenity and focus, and soon all I could think about was showing them that I had as much right to be called an Apprentice as they did."

"Important to you their opinions are?"

"Not any more, Master Yoda," Qui-Gon said lowering his eyes. "I have failed you as an Apprentice and that is what is most important to me."

"Still my Padawan, are you?" the Master asked as he tugged on the boy's chin.

Qui-Gon slowly raised his eyes. "With all of my heart and soul I want to be," he said hopefully.

"Then failed me you have not. Expect all Padawans to disobey occasionally, I do, though like it I do not. No failure if lesson you have learned. Glad I was that your pride you blamed and others you did not. Knew you were being teased, I did. Stopped the teasing I did not. Know why I allowed it you do?"

The boy hesitated, and then answered truthfully. "No, Master, I do not."

"A hard life it is, being Jedi, young Padawan. Allow outside interference to his focus a Jedi cannot. Most important lesson you must learn or never a Jedi will you be. Hurt I was to see you teased. Wanted to stop it I did, but help you that would not. Understand this now you do?"

"I think so. You are always telling me that my focus determines my reality. When I focused on the teasing from the other boys, I became the baby they were calling me and disobeyed you as a baby would. If I had focused on being the calm, serene Jedi that I wish to be I would not have allowed their taunts to bother me, and I would not have disobeyed you."

Yoda smiled. "Care much for you I do, Qui-Gon Jinn," he said as he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the boy's forehead. "Ask for a better Padawan Learner I could not. A wise and powerful Knight you are growing into. Foresee this I do. Much joy to me you will bring."

"I will do my best to never disappoint you again, Master," Qui-Gon said earnestly.

"Know this I do, my Padawan. Finish healing you I will, then talk of your punishment we will."

"Wait, Master Yoda," the young boy said, his voice strong. "I don't want you to heal my nose. I know it will be crooked, but I want it to stay that way. As a reminder to me of what my pride could have cost me."

Yoda looked at him quizzically a moment and then nodded slowly. "Proud of you I am, young Padawan."

"Thank you Master," Qui-Gon smiled shyly.

"Thank me you might not when your punishment you hear," the old Master said in mock gruffness. "Though wait your punishment can till after second meal we have taken. At Master's table with me today you will sit," he said as he turned and began shuffling towards the door.

"Master?" Qui-Gon asked, somewhat puzzled at Yoda's decree.

"Clean up you must before joining me you will. Pass up opportunity to let all the Temple know my Padawan completed the seventh form I will not." And with that, he was gone.

end