Please

by micehell

Title: Please
Author: micehell (micehell at earthlink dot net)
Archive: any list archive
Category: Other/Obi, remembered Q/O; drama
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Rape, no happy ending (takes place after TPM)
Summary: It was a tribute to Qui-Gon, a gift from the Chancellor, made to please Obi-Wan. And it did.
Feedback: As you will.
Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is a little effort and a lot of debt. Everything else belongs to not me.

A/N: All the talk about non-con stories got me thinking about this. It was actually written over a year ago, and some of you have definitely already seen it. But since it's one of the stories I actually have locked on my journal, some of you certainly won't have. And since unless something drastic happens I'm not going to get a NNNoN story out this year, I figured what the hell. ;)

Obi-Wan tried not to flinch when the Chancellor put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a sympathetic squeeze. The man had been nothing but generous, but Obi-Wan couldn't shake the wary feeling Palpatine gave him.

"I know it's presumptuous of me, but I felt that something should be done. Master Jinn sacrificed his life for my world, and though it's now my duty to oversee the entire Republic, I can't help but have some small preference for my home." Palpatine smiled, inviting Obi-Wan to share in the joke.

Trained from birth to be polite, Obi-Wan smiled even though his sense of humor had deserted him since... since he'd been to the Chancellor's home.

"I commissioned Tsemo to do it. Only the best for this tribute to not only Master Jinn, but to all the Jedi. You... serve us well."

Obi-Wan looked at the holo-statue, trying to see it beyond his pain. He guessed it was well done. It was certainly very close to the original. Too close, really, considering that Obi-Wan was having to fight the impulse to throw himself into its insubstantial arms.

It stood a little over two meters tall, its face serene and calm as it stared off into the distance, arms folded across his chest, one leg resting on a holo-boulder in a heroic way. Qui-Gon would have laughed at the affectation. Obi-Wan could only stare at the holo, and wish, as he had for the last three months, that he could hear that laugh again.

"Ah, I see it pleases you. That's good. That's very good indeed."

Obi-Wan had forgotten Palpatine for a moment, but he turned back to him, a little disconcerted by the intense look in his eyes. But he knew a cue when one was presented to him. "Yes, it's very nice. Thank you, it does indeed please me."

The Chancellor's eyes were still boring into him, and Obi-Wan felt a tickle of something at the back of his mind, like the Force was scratching for his attention. Palpatine's voice was dark and weighted as he said, "It will please you. It will."

But then the man smiled, the feeling faded, and the light in the garden and the light from the holo-statue chased away the shadows that Obi-Wan wondered if he'd imagined. He bowed as the Chancellor moved away to talk to the others who'd attended the unveiling.

Years later, staring across a desert on a planet he'd never wanted to see again, his arms tight around his chest to ward off the cold that never seemed to leave him, one foot tiredly resting against a boulder, worn down from all the secrets, lies, and betrayals that had finally come to light, Obi-Wan remembered that conversation, and shuddered, finally realizing what Palpatine had meant.

Obi-Wan looked at the holo-statue, wondering what had possessed him to bring it back to his quarters. It looked out of place here, over two meters of height, and a body to match, straining even the comfortable proportions of his new rooms. The ones they'd assigned him after... Naboo. After Qui-Gon had... Obi-Wan laughed at himself, unable to deny any longer that he knew exactly why he'd brought the holo back here.

It hadn't been the face that was so like Qui-Gon's. It hadn't even been the grief that was a constant weight in Obi-Wan's life, the overwhelming mass of it affecting everything around it. No, it wasn't any of those. It was the kiss.

The kiss that should have been impossible.

As if sensing his thoughts, the holo moved closer, pulling Obi-Wan into his arms, kissing him deeply again. The proportions were all wrong, the extra height of the holo making Obi-Wan feel even more like a child than Qui-Gon ever had. The body was broader, too, but it still felt enough like Qui-Gon that the gaping hole in Obi-Wan's chest, in his life, closed for a moment.

He pulled away from the kiss, knowing this was wrong. Holos didn't just spring to life on their own. This obviously needed investigating. He should call Master Windu now and tell him what had happened. He should...

Obi-Wan pulled the holo close, deepening the kiss, letting his tongue play inside the almost familiar mouth. Without conscious thought, he moved the holo, positioning him so that it stood like Qui-Gon. Without thought, he let his tongue coax it into kissing like Qui-Gon, too.

It was almost like having his master back. Almost.

Obi-Wan pulled away again, breathing hard as conscience and duty fought against loneliness and grief. Hadn't he wished that he could have just one more time with Qui-Gon, just one more chance to tell him what he felt? One more chance to kiss away Qui-Gon's protests that they shouldn't get too attached, to fuck away Qui-Gon's desire to protest anything at all?

He looked into a face that wasn't protesting at all, and Obi-Wan smiled. It was close to his dream, anyway.

Knowing he was being foolish, but wanting to hold onto the dream for just a moment longer, Obi-Wan pushed the holo onto the couch, sitting close beside him, drawing one large hand into his own. Sitting, the difference in height wasn't quite as apparent, but the overlarge hand in his was enough to keep Obi-Wan from sinking into the illusion too far. Still, he'd keep this just for a moment. Just a moment more to pretend it could be true.

The holo appeared confused, sitting stiffly as if wondering what to do, but then it smiled, that same crooked grin that Obi-Wan remembered so well, and Obi-Wan didn't resist when smile moved closer, the warmth of it drawing him in.

Obi-Wan's own sense of duty won out eventually, and he looked at the holo, wondering what could possibly have set it to life like this.

After Palpatine and the others had left, he'd been alone in the garden, staring at the holo, dreaming of the man that it was based on. He'd jumped when the holo had first moved, one now-substantial leg falling through the illusion of a boulder, the heroic pose falling away with it, the holo-statue looking as surprised as Obi-Wan felt.

It had focused on him immediately, smiling as it stood before a wide-eyed Obi-Wan, who had been too stunned to worry about how undignified he looked with his jaw on the ground. But then the holo had stroked one hand over Obi-Wan's face, down his shoulder where his braid used to sit, and it had been so like Qui-Gon then that Obi-Wan hadn't even thought to argue when it had leaned down to kiss him.

Eventually he'd come to himself enough to question the holo, but it hadn't known anything, simply saying -

"I'm Qui-Gon Jinn. I live to please you."

Obi-Wan started, the garden fading around him to be replaced by his quarters, the holo still staring at him intently. "Yes, you said that before. If you were really Qui-Gon Jinn, however, the last part of that statement would have been beyond even your legendary ability to say absolutely outrageous things with a straight face."

The holo frowned, confused again. "But I am Qui-Gon. I live to please you."

His master would have laughed if he'd ever said such a thing to Obi-Wan. Even Obi-Wan, who'd wanted so much more out their relationship than the sharing of bodies, could only try not to giggle at the statement.

"Please stop saying that."

The holo started to say something else, then stopped, obviously pleased with itself then. Apparently having nothing else in his verbal repertoire, the holo went back to its strongest suit, and kissed him again.

Obi-Wan knew it was a weakness in him that he wasn't calling Mace right now. That he wasn't stopping this. That he was ignoring the subtle differences in the face so close to his, ignoring the more obvious differences in the size of his partner, all in an effort to have back a moment that had been lost months ago. He should be stronger than this. He should be.

But it wasn't strength that had made Obi-Wan hide the robe that hung in the back of his closet. The robe that the others thought had been burned with his master's body, but that Obi-Wan had managed to swap for one of Master Windu's, who'd never even noticed the loss. Or at least never called him on it.

Holding his master's robe to his face, Obi-Wan breathed deeply. Even after all this time, it still smelled like Qui-Gon. Still had a lingering trace of his Force signature around it.

Obi-Wan turned to the holo who had followed him into the bedroom. It was looking at him expectantly, and Obi-Wan hesitated, knowing that he shouldn't do this to himself.

But then the holo smiled, that smile again, and Obi-Wan told himself that it would just be for a moment. Just a moment to be held by strong arms, and be surrounded by that scent again. Then he'd call Mace. "Put this on, please."

The holo looked at the robe as he rubbed a hand along the robe he was already wearing. He raised a questioning eyebrow at Obi-Wan.

"Put it on for me. Please."

A sly look, that grin that always won an answering smile from Obi-Wan, even when he'd been so angry he could scream. "I live to please you."

Obi-Wan sighed, needing him to stop saying that if his self-delusion was going to work. He looked the holo over. Even though the robe was too small, it fit well enough for this.

When the too large arms went around him, pulling him close, Obi-Wan had to curb the impulse to laugh. His nose only came up to the holo's stomach, making him feel even shorter than Qui-Gon had, but Obi-Wan just closed his eyes, burying his nose in the folds of the robe, willing himself to believe.

But he couldn't.

The scent was right, the feel close enough, but the pain in his heart was too strong to let this continue. Obi-Wan pulled away, sighing. It was time to call Mace.

The holo held him tight when he tried to leave, kissing him again even when Obi-Wan moved his head away.

Knowing he'd started this, Obi-Wan tried to be gentle if firm when he pushed the holo away. "I'm sorry, but we can't do that anymore. I shouldn't have... well, I shouldn't have done any of this. You just stay here, and I'll go and call some people. We'll get to the bottom of this, and set everything to right, don't worry."

The holo wasn't worried, though, he was laughing, grabbing Obi-Wan's arms and holding him tightly. "You don't need anyone else. I live to please you."

"Yes, well if you live to please me, let me go." Obi-Wan tried for reasonable one last time before he had to resort to force.

The hands didn't release him, instead moving down to his wrists, holding them tight as the holo started tonguing his ear.

Irritated, Obi-Wan pulled his head away from the questing tongue. This is what he got for being weak. Now he had an over-amorous holo to deal with, and how was he ever going to explain any of this to Mace. Or, Force help him, Yoda. Obi-Wan sighed, knowing it was what he deserved. Already seeing that he was no physical match for the holo, he drew on the Force to shove it away.

And nothing happened.

The holo's hand gripped his wrists a little tighter, and it gave Obi-Wan a disapproving look. It repeated, "You don't need anyone else. I live to please you," and then went back to licking its way down Obi-Wan's throat.

Obi-Wan tried again, thinking maybe he'd just been too upset by what was happening, but the Force still wouldn't come to him, its presence nothing but a thin whisper in the room. For the first time, he was starting to realize that there was more wrong here than a holo that suddenly came to life.

A sharp stamp with the heel of his boot against the holo's knee, and Obi-Wan was free again. He didn't bother to look back, just heading for the door to the room, hoping that whatever was interfering with the Force here wasn't at work outside the room.

He palmed the door release, but the door had only opened the barest sliver before it slammed shut again. Obi-Wan heard the anger in the voice behind him as it said, "I live to please you. I do. I will please you."

He fought, of course, but the holo didn't seem to notice. The Force that was beyond Obi-Wan's grasp was clearly in its, and it held him still with invisible bonds, gently stripping the clothes from his body, taking the time to kiss its way across the skin that it bared.

"Stop this. I don't want this." Obi-Wan tried to hide the fear in his voice, but he knew it was audible. He couldn't bear this, not this way. Not from that face.

The holo looked confused. "I live to please you. I will please you."

In the end it didn't matter what Obi-Wan thought he could bear. He was helpless to stop the holo from laying him on the bed, his feet hanging over the edge, his arms above his head in a parody of the throes of passion. He tried to sink away from the touch that had become abhorrent, tried to break free of the hold on him, but he was again helpless as the holo took his cock into its mouth, sucking gently as one large hand moved to stroke softly against his scrotum.

Obi-Wan fought the touch with his body, which gained him nothing. He fought the touch with his voice, repeatedly asking the holo to stop. All this gained him was a smile, and more repetitions of, "I live to please you." Eventually Obi-Wan gave up struggling, knowing it was pointless, and simply endured.

His horror at what was happening, at the image of Qui-Gon touching him without his consent, was keeping Obi-Wan from responding to the warmth around his cock, but he knew eventually his body might give in. The mission on Narim had taught him that. But the seemingly endless suction against the delicate skin of his cock started to sting before that could happen, something he was grateful for.

It was just starting to really hurt when the holo pulled back. It held Obi-Wan's soft cock, looking at it as if it had betrayed him. "This isn't pleasing you."

It was half a statement, half a question, and Obi-Wan could almost have been amused at his disappointment, but his anger and shame were too strong. "So sorry that I couldn't get excited about being raped."

Apparently the holo didn't understand sarcasm, because it just nodded. "I live to please you, so I will try something else."

Understanding what was coming, Obi-Wan couldn't help but try to win free again. The Force hold on his arms and legs was still too strong, and he was pushed back further onto the bed, his knees bent and spread wide, his arms held down by his head, again the picture of wanton desire.

There was a flash of light then, the holo's form blinking, resetting its image so that only Qui-Gon's robe, the one that Obi-Wan had stupidly given him, covered it. The soft cloth, pulled tight against the too-large frame, did nothing to cover the erect cock that the holo turned towards him, and Obi-Wan couldn't help the shudder that went through him.

Fear and anger coursed through him at the feel of that heavy body on top of him. Hard flesh burned along his own still-sensitive cock as the holo rocked against him, and Obi-Wan hissed at the pain, but the sound was pulled into the holo's mouth as it leaned over, an awkward move with its height, trying to draw him into a kiss like they'd shared before. Obi-Wan turned his head, hating the feel of those lips against his throat, but he couldn't stand to see that face above him in this perversion of what he and Qui-Gon used to share.

Fingers started playing with his nipples, rubbing them until they were hard, and Obi-Wan clamped down on a curse. He knew this still wasn't arousal, but it was hard not to be humiliated anyway.

He'd learned not to let it get to him once, years ago, when a mission on Narim had gone horribly wrong. Obi-Wan had been caught by the troops that were chasing them, pain and exhaustion making him vulnerable and unable to resist what they did to him. His nipples and cock wet and hard from the soldiers' attentions, Obi-Wan had been so embarrassed he'd actually cried when Qui-Gon, also at the end of his reserves, had come for him, getting him free before anything more had happened. Hiding in the storeroom where the soldiers had dragged him, Qui-Gon had held him, turning his face away from their bodies. He had wrapped his cloak around them both so Obi-Wan didn't feel so naked anymore, and his soft touch had shown Obi-Wan more than any words could that everything was okay.

That same cloak was pressed close to his face now, rubbing along his body, the scent of Qui-Gon surrounding him as the holo pleased him, and Obi-Wan felt like crying again. Not believing it would do any good, Obi-Wan still begged, "Please. Take off the robe."

The holo stopped moving against him. It pulled back, again taking Obi-Wan's soft cock in his hand, frowning at it. But it stood, letting the robe drop carelessly to the floor before climbing on top of him again, that familiar bright grin once again lighting its face, another stab to Obi-Wan's heart. "I live to please you."

Obi-Wan, pinned to the bed, touched against his will, could only shake his head in amazement at the familiar refrain. "So you've said. I really don't think, considering what you're doing, that you know what please means."

"Oh, I will please you. I will."

Obi-Wan realized that he'd inadvertently encouraged the holo to go further, but he didn't have a chance to say anything before the holo's mouth was back on his, trying to kiss him deeply as a large, slick finger worked its way into his body. Obi-Wan bit at the tongue that flickered against his mouth, but the holo pulled back before he could do any real damage, and the finger continued to move inside him.

Like the finger, the cock was slick when it pushed into him, and Obi-Wan could only be grateful for that. Without the lubrication the holo seemed to exude at will, Obi-Wan was sure the penetration would have done serious damage. As it was, the holo moved slowly, steadily, using liquid slide and gravity instead of blunt force to ease its way inside. Obi-Wan struggled against it, but the holo simply held his hips tighter, never stopping. Obi-Wan felt despair settle in him, hating himself for not calling Mace when he should have. Hating himself for ever thinking that anything could stand in for Qui-Gon, even for a moment.

Eventually the pain from the penetration faded, even if the horror of it remained strong. The holo angled its thrusts to hit against Obi-Wan's prostate from time to time, but the stimulation wasn't enough to overcome Obi-Wan's disgust. Knowing it would have to end sometime, Obi-Wan held tight to the consolation that at least he wouldn't have that small victory stolen from him.

But it went on and on, the holo never faltering, continuing to move in his body in long, slow waves until Obi-Wan thought he would scream. Desperate, he tried to clamp down around the cock in him, hoping the tightness would push the holo into orgasm, but it just moaned in pleasure, never breaking its rhythm.

His body going numb, his joints aching from the pressure against them, Obi-Wan realized that the holo wouldn't stop until it had made him come. Until it had pleased him. Obi-Wan tried one last time to get free, but all he managed to do was make the holo moan again. Too tired to fight anymore, Obi-Wan let go, his legs hanging limply on either side of the broad body kneeling over him, his ankles caught beneath the legs so long they made his look like a child's. His ass sagged back into the holo's lap, onto the cock in him, and his body rolled gently with every thrust. His let his fists relax, hands still beside his head, his fingers curling loosely each time his prostate was hit.

Shame burned through him, but Obi-Wan let the friction, let the nudge against that place inside, let the warm hand on his own cock, draw him into hardness. The holo smiled, pleased, looking much like Qui-Gon used to when Obi-Wan mastered a difficult lesson. Obi-Wan realized he was fucked in every way now.

The holo pushed him further up, further back, and the thrusts became shorter, firmer, each one striking just there now, and Obi-Wan could feel his orgasm approaching. He was swinging back and forth between relieved and appalled when it hit, his body going tight as the holo stilled inside him.

Even with what had happened on Narim, there were very few things in his life that had ever made Obi-Wan cry. The worst of them was still too close, the grief still strong in him. It was Obi-Wan's only excuse for opening the door that had led to what had happened here. He had no tears this time, though, the emptiness inside him leaving him dry, but Obi-Wan could feel the memory of them moving down his cheeks, and wished with everything he had that he didn't have to remember this. He shook his head again, but the memory was deep in him, and all he could do was whisper, "No," a blanket denial to everything.

The holo ran one finger along Obi-Wan's brow, smiling broadly, absurdly happy. "Yes. I live to please you."

Obi-Wan looked into that face and let himself pretend that it was nothing like the original. "Nothing of you pleases me."

He wondered what would come next, what more the holo could do to him. He had little left that could be stolen, and his current position proved that Obi-Wan couldn't stop the holo if it chose to take his life. He wasn't too sure he would want to.

But the holo was looking at him in horror and something that might have been pain. "I live to please you," it insisted.

"How surprising that I'm not pleased about being raped." Obi-Wan bucked against the body on him, knowing he wouldn't get away, but wanting to remind the holo that none of this had been his choice.

"I live to please you. I did please you." The holo held up his other hand, drops of Obi-Wan's semen congealing on it, his face as earnest as his voice. "I live to please you." It was little more than a whisper, quietly hopeful.

It felt odd to Obi-Wan to be having a conversation with his rapist while he was still being held down on the bed, while a cock was still in his body, still hard in him. But it felt odder still to believe that the holo thought it really had pleased him. "I said no. You forced the issue. It doesn't matter if you could make my body respond, I still didn't want this. You didn't please me."

If any small place in Obi-Wan's mind had thought that destroying the illusion of his pleasure would help, it was sadly disappointed. The holo grimaced, its face going tighter, and it started thrusting again, no gentleness in it this time. The violent thrusts tore into Obi-Wan, making him bite his lips to keep from crying out. Even knowing it was pointless, he kicked at the long legs and broad body holding him down. He couldn't get any leverage though, almost bent in half, and the holo never slowed.

The holo was howling now, "I live to please you!" falling from his lips, every word matched by the smack of the holo's flesh in his. The rhythm got faster, harder, until Obi-Wan thought he'd be split in two. With one last thrust, one last repetition of its mantra, the holo came, its body collapsing on top of Obi-Wan, clinging tightly to him.

Obi-Wan squirmed under the weight, having problems breathing. The holo pulled up a little, looking down at him, one large hand playing gently with the hair that had barely grown out of its padawan's buzz. Giving him a sad smile, nothing of Qui-Gon in it, the holo rolled off of him, and the hold on Obi-Wan finally let go.

As soon as he was free, Obi-Wan scrambled to get away, the pain slowing him down, but desperation drove him on. Wary of another attack, he circled around the bed, keeping the holo in sight, keeping a hand on the wall to hold himself up and to feel for the door release. His fingers found the edges of it, and he slapped it, but the door wouldn't open.

Thinking it was game, Obi-Wan kept his eye on the holo, wondering what he could do even if it was a trick. It just sat on the bed, sorrow in its eyes. Obi-Wan didn't let it allay his suspicion, his hand still trying to palm the door lock open even as he considered what he should do.

His mind bent on escape, it took Obi-Wan a moment to figure out that something happening with the holo. He looked closely at it, wondering what had caught his attention, when he realized that he could see through it.

It was fading, the bed, the room behind it, coming into clearer focus as the holo disappeared. It started slowly, as if the holo had become a ghost, slightly brighter at the edges as its body slipped away, but the pace built until nothing was left but an outline, a trace of what had been. Even that disappeared as Obi-Wan heard a whisper, almost a sigh, in his ear. "I would have lived to please you."

The door opened suddenly, startling Obi-Wan, and he wound up on the floor, unable to get up again. He decided to stay there, not having the strength to fight it, even though he desperately wanted a shower, desperately wanted to forget.

Desperately wanted Qui-Gon, the need so strong it cut at him, a saber blade through his chest. Another rape.

Crawling along the floor to the robe, he pulled it around him, knowing his blood was staining it, but needing the comfort. With the fading scent of Qui-Gon surrounding him, he finally let himself cry for what he'd lost.