Master Apprentice Archive A Perverse Twist of Fate Quick search:

Category: Humour/Parody

Rating: PG

Archive: Please ask.

Warnings: Consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: Inspired by Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

Summary: The Bonding Challenge.

Notes: Thanks to The Rose for the beta. This came from a thread at TMI Temple and something Emu said that tickled my fancy and inspired a line in this story. I still can't believe I came up with it. If someone else has used this line please let me know, as it was the starting point for this story.

Qui-Gon peered hesitantly into the healers' ward. Only a short time earlier, he was arguing with the Council over the fate of Anakin Skywalker when Obi-Wan suddenly collapsed. Qui-Gon barely caught his padawan, preventing his head from slamming into the floor.

While Obi-Wan was examined, his master waited in the corridor hoping for news. Healers, their apprentices and technicians scurried in and out but spoke no words to Qui-Gon or even made eye contact. Just as his patience was about to fail, Lilas, the head healer, left Obi-Wan's room and motioned for his master.

"You can go in now, Master Jinn. He should be ready to go home after he's rested a bit." She patted Qui-Gon's arm in reassurance but made no explanation as to his padawan's illness.

Obi-Wan looked up as his master entered. He lay on one of the cots. The other beds in the pristine white room were empty, the mattresses neatly made up. He looked drained, his skin nearly the colour of the walls but the grey his face had been when he passed out had faded.

"Padawan, how are you feeling?"

"Tired, Master and a little queasy but I'll be all right."

"You've certainly kept the infirmary busy. What did the healers tell you?" Qui-Gon asked.

"I'm fine but I need to rest and take care of myself a bit better."

Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows. What kind of master was he, that he did not notice the state of his padawan's health? His bond with Obi-Wan felt at odds but he had put it down to Obi-Wan's agitation over Anakin. He figured once this was over Obi-Wan's moodiness would dissipate. Now he knew there was more to it than his padawan admitted.

"Well I haven't been feeling quite right since we landed on Naboo, Master. I thought it was stress or some bug I picked up in the swamp, and Jar-Jar is very wearing. "

Qui-Gon nodded. Jar-Jar had certainly given him a permanent headache.

"It seems. Master," Obi-Wan interrupted Qui-Gon's thoughts, "Jar-Jar and I have..."

Qui-Gon looked at Obi-Wan. "Excuse me, Padawan but I didn't quite hear you."

Obi-Wan glanced away from Qui-Gon. There was a spot on the floor that looked very interesting. He mumbled quickly, "Jar-Jar and I have formed a life bond."

"Obi-wan, you what?"

"MASTER, I'M CARRYING JAR-JAR'S LOVE CHILD!"

Qui-Gon froze. He stared at Obi-Wan disbelievingly, his thoughts swirling. He heard the Force calling him.

"How? When?" The normally calm man stuttered. "Why?"

Obi-Wan sighed. He knew there would be questions. "It was an accident, Master. I hadn't intended it."

"A life bond is not an accident, Obi-Wan Kenobi and obviously it has been sealed," Qui-Gon was reaching the limits of his patience.

Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably under the thin sheet that barely covered him. "Well you were so busy with Anakin, and you know what they say about large ears."

Qui-Gon shook his head.

Just then Jar-Jar stuck his head through the doorway. "Meesa back, loverly Obi-Jedi. Yousa wantin' me to get you some pickles for a munchin'?"

Obi-Wan's face brightened and he nodded. He glowed with an inner happiness oblivious to his master's torment. The padawan sighed dreamily. "Pathetic, isn't he?"

Qui-Gon's eyes narrowed at his lovesick apprentice. The dark side could be seductive but he was a Jedi Master and dedicated to the light. However, just about now, it was looking mighty attractive.

The End