by SlashyDrgn
(Slashydrgn@aol.com and DrgnSentry@aol.com)
Archive: Yes to Master & Apprentice and The Nesting Place
Rating: G-ish
Warnings: some angst, but is just thoughts, small spoilers for
the Jedi Apprentice Books - kinda
Summary: Qui-Gon and a quiet night of contemplation
Disclaimer: For some reason they aren't mine, but I promise to
play nice and put 'em back where I found em. Naturally they
belong to George Lucas - though he's meaner to 'em than I am
<g>
Feedback: yes please
Padawan a simple enough word in itself. An apprentice, a
Jedi in training. He has been that. This young man has been
that and so much more. Years, we have been together and I can
only hope that it will stay that way. I wonder if he knows how
many times there have been nights like this. Nights where I
find myself unable to sleep, and begin to meditate, only then
wanting to check on him. How many nights have I stood watch
over him, even when he was just a young boy. Of course then it
was to make sure my new apprentice was alright. There has
always been a cloudiness in my mind when I try to foresee what
the future holds for us. All I can see for sure is what I
already know in my heart, he is special, much more so than I or
anyone can imagine.
Now - now however there is another reason to watch him. It is
the one time I can do so unguarded. Both of us, that way. I am
able to admire the man my Padawan has become. To take a small
delight in the way he flows together. I like the way he is more
at angles than myself. A more of a defined look to him. But it
most of all it is here that he is at ease, there is no sign of
the man who wishes to please me at all costs. Not knowing that
I could honestly be no prouder of him than I am now. And he is
not hiding the feelings I know he has, and that he does not
know I return.
Over the years I could no sooner stop myself from loving him
than I could have rejected him as my Padawan. I tried in both
instances and have failed in both. Though honestly I can no
longer call either a failing now. Neither call them that nor
believe that it could be such. There was and is such an honesty
in my young one, a refreshing look at the small wonders that I
had become jaded on when he first arrived in my life. He was
able to teach a master to look again with awe and wonder. Just
another sign of how special this man, my Padawan has become.
All I can ask is that I may do him the same service in the arts
of the Force, that he as given me in the arts of life.
The time, the time has not been right. He is my Padawan after
all, and that above all must come first. Soon though, that much
I know, that much I can see. And then perhaps we can both be
awake at night - not sleeping but for other reasons. But for
now I am content, I am willing to stay with my nightly watches.
Perhaps after this trip - when we return from the troubled
world of Naboo, perhaps then the time will be right.
Archive 