Master
Apprentice  Archive
Overcoming Resistance
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Archive: MA, anyone else please ask.
Series: Reality's Moments
Catagory: First Time
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: m/m sex, otherwise none.
Spoilers: None, occurs about 3 years before TPM
Summary: When Obi-Wan finds out that his love for Qui-Gon is not unrequited, he goes to great lengths to get his Master to see him as a man.
Disclaimers: Everything Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilms. I am just playing in his world, borrowing the boyz and their accomplices and will return them all when I'm through. No money is being made from this, it is all done for entertainment only.
Author's notes: This story is the first it what, muse willing, will be a series of 3 or 4 that will move forward in time and include some of the same characters. Thanks to whomever made the comment on list, speculating on what would happen if the boyz didn't like each others friends. That thought spawned the original plot bunny and it expanded from there. Also, massive Qui-Gon hugs to my marvelous beta/editor, Monalee. Without her constant support and her ability to repeatedly insert commas, correct grammar and always find just the right word to get the thought across this would not have been written. I couldn't have done it without her. As always, I can't resist making a few final tweaks, so all mistakes are mine. Hope you enjoy the story.
Feedback: Please, it's the only way a writer will know what works. Onlist or off at kiowkqgj@yahoo.com
Obi-Wan turned off the water and walked out of the shower, grabbing a couple of towels from the shelf by the door. After quickly drying himself off and toweling his hair, he wrapped a dry towel around his waist and left the refresher. As he walked down the hallway towards his room, the sound of his name spoken by an unfamiliar voice drew his attention to the common area. Not in the proper state to go out and greet a guest, he peeked through the doorway trying to get a glimpse of the person his Master was talking with.
Qui-Gon stood with his back to Obi-Wan, pouring Corellian brandy into two crystal goblets while another man dressed in mahogany Master's robes stood beside him. Only the profile of the other Master was visible and Obi-Wan studied the man's features trying to identify the vaguely familiar form. The man appeared to be about the same age as his Master with shoulder length light brown hair just beginning to streak with silver. He was about ten centimeters shorter than Qui-Gon and had a much rounder face and a stockier build.
It was only after the man accepted his glass and turned so that he was fully facing Obi-Wan that recognition came to him. Those seeking brown eyes and the gray peppered short goatee belonged to a face that he had not seen in over five years, Master Elijah Santee. Master Santee had been a friend of Qui-Gon and Master Windu since they were all young initiates. Master Santee had been a regular visitor in their quarters for the first few years of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship but had been away from the Temple on an extended assignment in the Outer Rim since then.
A smile came to Obi-Wan's face as he remembered the tales from Qui-Gon's padawan days that the man had told him during his seventeenth name day party a few weeks before leaving for the Rim. His Master had tried everything to squelch the stories but Master Santee had enjoyed Qui-Gon's discomfort at the revelation of the details of his pranks to his padawan.
Obi-Wan looked forward to speaking to the amiable man again and was about to continue to his room when the echo of his name caught his attention again.
Obi-Wan is almost still a boy, Qui-Gon," Elijah said. "He is too young to know what he really wants and you know you cannot initiate a relationship with him. You must get over this hopeless infatuation and start living your life again."
"We've been over this before," Qui-Gon replied with annoyance easily read in his tone. "It is not infatuation. I am in love with Obi-wan and I know that he loves me just as deeply in return. I just have to wait until after he passes his trials and then I can admit to him that I more than return his feelings. Until that time, I will just have to continue to release my frustrations to the Force and cope."
Elijah shook his head at Qui-Gon's stubbornness, placed his hand on his friend's shoulder and asked, "how long has it been since you've taken a lover?"
Qui-Gon's face morphed into the look of affront that he regularly wore before the Council and he answered rather curtly. "I don't really think that is any of your business, Elijah."
"I'm worried about you, old friend," Elijah replied in a concerned tone.
"Between you and Mace, I have more watchdogs than anyone could want or need," Qui-Gon replied sarcastically. Seeing the worried look that remained in his friend's eyes, he relented slightly. "I tried when I first realized I had feelings for Obi-Wan but it was unfair to the people I was with. My heart just wasn't in it."
"But that was over four years ago," Elijah exclaimed in disbelief, remembering the long letter Qui-Gon had sent him when he was first assigned to the Rim. "That's a very long time to spend with your hand as your only sexual partner." He moved closer to his friend and caressed the bearded chin with the back of his hand. "Maybe you should try being with an old friend who understands your situation and only wants to spend some mutually pleasurable time with you."
Obi-Wan strengthened his shields as he stood frozen in place, listening to the conversation that drifted in from the common room. His emotions had run the gambit as the import of the Masters' words registered in his mind and heart. First, he had been elated by Qui-Gon's confession of love for him and had almost rushed into the room regardless of his state of undress. Knowing that his Master had remained celibate during these past four years out of love for him had both humbled him and filled him with guilt. He had been professing his love for Qui-Gon at regular intervals since turning sixteen; the last of these occasions had been just two months ago. At each tender rejection, he had soothed his broken heart in the arms and beds of a number of his friends and acquaintances among the padawans and younger knights. As he grew older, these experiences had proved less and less pleasurable. After one final night of attempting to find solace with an old lover on that painful evening two months ago, he had taken to indulging in self-pleasure while fantasizing about his beloved Master as his only form of sexual release.
As he released his guilt, frustration took over when he realized how long they had both been suffering needlessly due to Qui-Gon's stubbornness. They loved each other. Surely there had to be some way that they could express that love without their teacher/student relationship being negatively affected. What a time for his Master to start considering the Code with conviction instead of his normal method of just living in the moment and listening to the Living Force. But he released this frustration as he realized that his Master had willingly made these sacrifices for him. Even though the man didn't give a second thought to challenging the Council at almost every turn, he knew that Qui-Gon would never do anything that he perceived could affect Obi-Wan's knighthood, even if that perception was misplaced.
Finally both emotions had given way to a jolt of anger as he listened to Master Santee proposition Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan couldn't believe that the other Master had the audacity to suggest a physical relationship. Especially knowing that his Master had willingly foregone any sexual encounters because of Qui-Gon's feelings for him. Again he fought the notion of just stalking into the common room and letting Master Elijah Santee know in no uncertain terms that Qui-Gon belonged to him. But he knew that his Master would be furious if he found out that his padawan had eavesdropped on their private conversation even though he had been the main topic. There had to be a better way of dealing with this man whom he'd had great respect for until moments ago. After checking to be sure that his shields hadn't slipped, he gave his full attention back to the Masters' conversation, trusting that the Force would show him the right way to proceed.
In an uncharacteristic breach of composure, the disbelief at Elijah's proposition was very evident in Qui-Gon's facial expression. He strove to tamp it down then addressed his friend. "I know that you are only trying to help and that you don't believe that I can truly love Obi-Wan as deeply as I have for all these years without us having a physical relationship."
"I'm sure that your luscious padawan has not been without his own admirers and bed partners during the six years he had been professing his undying love for you," Elijah said somewhat sarcastically.
"That was beneath you, my friend," Qui-Gon snapped. "Obi-Wan is still a young man and deserves the opportunity to partake of a variety of experiences. That is one of the reasons I don't want him to know that I return his feelings until he's older. If he had known, he would have felt guilty about exploring his sexuality. He needs these experiences to grow into the man he is meant to be. I will not stifle his growth just because it is painful for me to know he is sharing someone else's bed."
"Qui-Gon, he is a boy, more than thirty years your junior, " Elijah argued. "You would never be content sharing yourself with one so young. You need to be with someone who is your equal." He took the bearded chin is his hand and locked his brown eyes with the intense blue ones of his friend. "Remember how good things were between us once. Give me a chance to show you how good they can be again."
Obi-Wan stood with clenched fists as he struggled to release his growing anger to the Force. How dare they talk about him as if he was still a teenager? At twenty-two standard years, Obi-Wan was far from inexperienced and knew his own heart. After hearing Qui-Gon admit to his feelings, his certainty grew that it was the will of the Force that they would spend the rest of their lives together. Bonded, with a lovers bond, or if the Force deemed them worthy a soulbond. He just needed to find a way to get past his Master's reservations and make it happen. Now that he knew that Qui-Gon loved him in return, there was no way that he would be able to keep their relationship platonic for the next two or three years. Living through what he thought was unrequited love had almost driven him insane; denying his feelings now that he knew they were returned would succeed.
Replaying Master Santee's proposition in his mind, he struggled to keep his feelings in check and not allow his anger to overwhelm him. Finally achieving a small amount of success, he considered his options in dealing with this new development. He needed to find a way to make sure that Master Santee didn't get the opportunity to break down his Master's resolve and maneuver Qui-Gon into his bed before he could talk to his Master about their mutual feelings. With a new sense of purpose, he headed for his bedroom. Moving out of hearing range, he missed his Master's reply to his friend's invitation.
Qui-Gon's face wore a slightly softened version of his 'no discussion' expression as he continued to meet his friend's fervent gaze. "I will only say this once, Elijah. My feelings for Obi-Wan and what I decide to do about them are a very private matter. But I will not cheapen my love for him by entering into a casual affair." Qui-Gon laid his hand on the other man's shoulder and continued. "I don't regret the times we spent together when we were younger and have some very fond memories from those times. We have been friends a long time and I would like to continue that friendship. If that is your wish as well, I would suggest that you not bring up this topic, again."
Before Elijah could answer, the door chimed and Mace Windu strolled into the room. "Sorry, I'm late, gentlemen. Council business." Mace stopped speaking when he saw the intense expression on his friend's face. "Is everything okay, Qui-Gon?"
Elijah spoke before Qui-Gon could answer. "Just a minor misunderstanding. Everything's fine now." He smiled at Qui-Gon then added. "It's good to see you, Mace. It's been too long." He extended his hand to the dark skinned Master and was pulled into a warm hug.
Obi-Wan's mind was deep into planning mode by the time he reached his bedroom. He was going to prove to his Master once and for all that he was no longer a boy. He also needed to do something that would make Qui-Gon admit his feelings. A smile blossomed on his face as an idea formed in his mind. He had always tried to be very discrete with his lovers, shielding his end of the bond carefully when he had been intimately engaged and not broadcasting his liaisons within the Temple proper. Maybe he had been too discrete.
Dropping the towel that circled his waist onto the floor by his bed, he opened his closet and pushed aside his traditional Jedi tunics and robes to get to some items that were buried in the back corner. Discarding the first few items, he soon found exactly what he was looking for. Pulling the revealing silk shirt from the hangar and tossing it on his bed, he chuckled as he held the deep blue leather pants in his hands. 'These will be perfect,' he thought with a smirk.
Obi-Wan had managed to dress in a matter of minutes. Intentionally skipping undergarments, he pulled on the supple leather pants and was please to find that they were even a bit more form fitting that when he had last worn them. Leaving the sheer aquamarine silk shirt open to the waist, he tucked the tails beneath the tight leather waistband and pulled on his black dress boots. He adorned his braid with beads and feathers and tied it off with a piece blue satin ribbon.
Obi-Wan was inspecting his reflection as he felt Master Windu's presence join the others in the common room. To put his plan into motion, he would need to be seen by his Master and his friends before they left. With a final approving glance in the mirror, he exited his bedroom, moving down the hallway to the common room.
"Would you like some brandy, Mace?" Qui-Gon asked his friend once he had stepped back from Elijah.
"Yes, please," Mace replied.
Qui-Gon walked over the service bar and was pouring the amber liquid into a glass when he felt his padawan enter the room. He heard a slight gasp coming from his guests but didn't think much of it. "Obi-Wan, you remember Master Santee, don't you?" he prompted without turning around.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan replied politely. He approached the other two Masters and exchanged greetings. "Good evening, Master Windu. Master Santee. When did you get back from the Rim?" he asked with cold formality.
Qui-Gon was surprised when neither of the men returned his apprentice's greeting and turned towards the three of them. The sight before him caused his jaw to fall open and he wondered if he could be hallucinating. Seeing the shocked looks on the other Masters' faces contradicted that possibility. Obi-Wan looked like he should be parading through the pleasure workers' lounge on a luxury starliner. The sheer silk shirt and skintight leather pants left absolutely nothing to the imagination. Qui-Gon tamped down a wave of lust as the younger man walked toward him.
Obi-Wan's expression was warm and open as he approached Qui-Gon. He buried the small flash of triumph that went through him at the man's reaction and bowed slightly. "May I have your leave, my Master? I am meeting Pa'Uul, Reeft, Garen, and a few others and heading to the club district." He smirked mentally at the flash of disapproval that came from Qui-Gon at the mention of Pa'Uul's name. His Master had always felt the other padawan was a bad influence on him and had tried to discourage their friendship.
At the mention of Pa'Uul's name, Qui-Gon felt a surge of frustration. The dark haired, blue-eyed padawan was almost as handsome as Obi-Wan but had an arrogance about him that reminded Qui-Gon of Xanatos. It was rumored that the two young men had been lovers a few years back but he never found out for certain. Qui-Gon was almost overcome by a raging desire to forbid his padawan from going anywhere with Pa'Uul or leaving their quarters in that outfit but knew that he had no reason or right to do so. Even though he might look like a walking wet dream, Obi-Wan always behaved properly and had never given him any reason to question his activities. "You may go, Obi-Wan. Have a nice evening," he finally managed to say with some conviction.
"Thank you, my Master. I will," Obi-Wan replied with a smile. "I wish you a pleasant evening as well." He bowed again and headed for the door, putting a bit of extra sway into his hips as he walked. He spared a quick glance over his shoulder as he palmed the door and was happy to see that all three men's eyes were glued to his butt. Emboldened by that knowledge, he captured his Master's gaze and added. "I'll be sure to be back for morning mediation, Master." With those last words, he strode out into the hallway and allowed the door to slide closed behind him.
Qui-Gon could feel the stares of the other two Masters boring into him and glared at his friends. "I do not want to hear one word from either of you."
"I will admit one thing, my friend," Elijah said with a smirk. "Your padawan is definitely no longer a boy." With that comment, he dissolved into laughter as Qui-Gon sputtered at him. When he saw his friend's hand inching towards the hilt of his lightsaber, he knew he had gone too far. Struggling to compose himself, he put his hands up in surrender. "Peace, my friend. I promise Obi-Wan's name will not be spoken for the rest of the evening." Grabbing Mace's arm, he pulled the dark skinned man forward then grabbed Qui-Gon's cloak from the hook by the door and tossed it to him. "Let's head to the restaurant. I don't know about you two but I could use another drink before dinner."
Obi-Wan's mind was continuing to plan as he moved through the Temple to meet his friends. As he reached the senior padawan lounge, he regretted that he had not found out where the Masters were having dinner. Finding Pa'Uul, Reeft and Garen standing just inside the bustling room, he decided to take his closest friends into his confidence and recruit their aid. After conferring with his friends for a few minutes, they came up with a plan and headed towards the main entrance of the Temple.
Obi-Wan extended carefully along his bond with Qui-Gon to locate him and rushed Garen into a position where he could hear the conversation between the Masters. Luckily the Force was with them and after only a few minutes of stealthy observation, Garen returned to the group with the name of the restaurant where they planned on dining. Obi-Wan ushered his friends quickly over a series of walkways until they ended up in a position about a hundred meters in front of the trio of Masters. Slowing the group to walk at a more leisurely pace, he whispered a new idea to Pa'Uul and was happy when his friend moved quickly to comply.
Laughing voices drew Mace's attention from his friends' conversation and he looked further down the walkway for the cause. His eyes locked on to the familiar forms of four padawans sauntering slowly less than sixty meters in front of them. Trying to prevent a repeat of the scene in Qui-Gon's quarters, he turned back to his friends. "Let's head down this way," Mace said as he steered the men towards an adjacent walkway about twenty meters away. "There is a crystal sculpture I'm considering purchasing at Muldain's that I would like your opinions on." He and Elijah had taken a few steps down the left walkway before realizing that Qui-Gon was no longer with them.
As he reached the junction, a familiar Force presence washed over him causing Qui-Gon to search the walkway. When he found its owner, he could not break his gaze from the sight before him. Obi-Wan and his friends were standing about forty meters away from him and Pa'Uul had his arm wrapped possessively around Obi-Wan's waist. The group was laughing as they looked intently at something in a shop window. Pa'Uul's hand slid down to rest on Obi-Wan's ass and he leaned in to whisper something to him. Obi-Wan chuckled in response and was immediately pulled into his friend's arms. Pa'Uul covered Obi-Wan's mouth with his, instigating a passionate kiss that Qui-Gon could not look away from. Obi-Wan hands slid down Pa'Uul's back until they came to rest in the pockets of the dark haired man's too tight leather pants. He pushed back matching surges of arousal and jealousy as he took in the figures of the two handsome padawans. Suddenly, a rough hand on his shoulder turned him away from the mesmerizing sight. "What?" he bellowed as he glared into his friend's dark face.
Totally ignoring the gruff tone of voice, Mace took Qui-Gon by the arm. "Muldain's is this way," he said as he directed the man onto the adjacent walkway.
With a last longing glance over his shoulder at the vision down the walkway, Qui-Gon reluctantly followed the other Masters.
Although he struggled not to react, Obi-Wan could feel the heavy weight of his Master's gaze as he and Pa'Uul performed for their audience. Looking up when he felt those eyes leave him, he sighed in annoyance as he watched Master Windu direct his Master down a side walkway. Pulling back out of his friend's embrace, he smiled. "Maybe things didn't work out exactly as I planned but we did get a reaction."
"That we did. I don't even have a bond with the man and I could feel the power of his eyes on us," Pa'Uul laughed. "What now?"
"Let's continue on towards the restaurant," Obi-Wan said with a smirk. "I am suddenly finding myself very hungry."
As the image of Obi-Wan and Pa'Uul kept replaying in his mind, Qui-Gon found it difficult to stay focused on the conversation around him. He saw Mace pointing to an item in the shop window but had no idea what he was suppose to be looking at. The sound of a throaty chuckle beside him, made him turn.
"Forget it, Mace," Elijah said. "This work of art is definitely not the one Qui-Gon wishes to be studying."
"Give it a rest, Santee," Qui-Gon snarled. "What happened to not taking about Obi-Wan?"
"You have it bad, old friend," Elijah replied. Grabbing Qui-Gon by the arm, he started them down the walkway. "Maybe food will take your mind off him. And I'm starving."
It took them only a few minutes to reach the restaurant and to be seated at their table. Mace ordered brandies all around and the men were deep in conversation by the time the waiter brought the drinks to the table. Elijah was relaying one of his more amusing anticdotes from his mission to Malastare and the waiter waited politely after placing the glasses on the table. The tale paused while they chose their meals, continuing as soon as the waiter left.
Flanked by his friends, Obi-Wan stood at the edge of the large transparisteel window watching the three Masters within. A hand on his shoulder drew his attention and he turned to meet Garen's gaze.
"Are we going in or not?" Garen asked tersely. While he awaited an answer, he looked at a handbill that a street vendor handed him a few moments before.
Although that had been his original intention, Obi-Wan now realized it wasn't such a good idea. "That would be too obvious," he replied. "We'll have to think of some other way." He looked over to see Garen studying the colored paper intently. Grabbing the sheet rather roughly, he berated his friend. "You're suppose to be helping me here." He started to crumble the offending handbill when the boldly printed name caught his attention. His scowl soon became a broad smile as he read the information of the vibrant sheet. "This could be exactly what we need."
Obi-Wan moved quickly back into planning mode, sending Garen to find the street vendor while he, Pa'Uul and the others figured out how to pull this off.
A short time later, Garen returned with a somewhat confused, young Twi'lek woman in tow.
Obi-Wan smiled warmly as he motioned to the sheets in her hand. "How much are you being paid to pass out those flyers?"
The young woman looked skeptically at Obi-Wan but answered softly. "Ten credits, if I'm able to pass them all out."
Obi-Wan directed the Twi'lek's attention to the three Masters at the table within the restaurant and said. "I'll pay you double that if you will stand out here until those three men come out and give them each a copy of the flyer."
The young woman's eyes lit up as she considered the request. She shifted her gaze from the obvious Jedi inside the restaurant to look intently at the small group of younger men before her. Though dressed in trendy club clothing, the long braids that trailed out from behind their right ears definitely identified them as Jedi padawans. She had no idea why they wanted her to give the club flyers to the older Jedi but she could see no harm in it. She felt assured that the padawans wouldn't cheat her and she could really use the extra credits. "I'll do it," she agreed, "but you'll have to pay me up front."
Locking his intense gray-green eyes with the Twi'lek's, Obi-Wan spoke softly. "Agreed. Just know that if you do not keep our agreement, I will know."
"Understood," the woman replied as she extended her hand.
Obi-Wan pulled the credits from his pouch and after a quick glance through the window at his Master, dropped them into her palm. He watched her position herself a couple of meters from the entrance then gathered his friends and headed off down the walkway.
Qui-Gon watched in mild amusement as the waiter placed the flaming dessert in front of Mace. "I can't believe you're going to eat all of that. Especially after everything else you ate tonight."
"I didn't eat that much," Mace argued.
"I wouldn't be surprised if we had to roll you out of here," Elijah chuckled. The men dissolved into laughter at that mental image.
After Mace had finished his flambé, the men paid their check and headed from the restaurant. As they passed through the door, a young Twi'lek woman handed them each a colored sheet of paper. Glancing down at the page in his hand, Mace let out an uncharacteristic shout. "Qui-Gon, look at this." He pushed the paper at his friend but didn't even give him a chance to look at it before he continued. "Chante Toulreft is singing tonight at the Oasis."
"The blues singer from Commenor?" Elijah asked.
"Yes. Qui-Gon and I have seen her perform a few times," Mace replied. "She's amazing. Come on," he added as he started down the walkway. "We should just have enough time to get there and get a decent table before her show starts."
"I don't know if I'm in the mood for dealing with the club crowd," Qui-Gon grumbled.
"Jinn, sometimes you act older than Yoda," Elijah exclaimed as he pulled him by the arm.
Realizing it was useless to argue with these two, Qui-Gon reluctantly followed his friends towards the club.
As they approached 'Club Oasis', Obi-Wan was glad that he and his friends spent enough time visiting the various clubs that they were known in each one. After a friendly nod from the security person outside, they were directed through the revolving doorway. The Bothan at the hosting booth greeted them warmly. "Evening, boys. Need a table or do you plan on sitting at the bar?"
"A table," Obi-Wan replied. "And a big favor." He quickly explained what he wanted and was pleased when the Bothan agreed to help.
Dropping a gold card in the middle of a round table directly in front of the stage, the Bothan directed Obi-Wan and his friends to a table against the side wall. Dropping into his chair, Obi-Wan looked at the two tables in relation to the layout of the club and smiled. It seemed that the Force was definitely supportive of tonight's plans for his beloved Master.
It took the Masters only a short time to reached the club and make their way inside. They were pleasantly surprised when the host led them to a table in the first row. "Do you believe our luck?" Mace asked as he took his seat.
"Amazing," Qui-Gon replied looking around the room somewhat suspiciously. There was something too convenient about the way this evening was working out. Almost like someone was directing their path. Opening his senses, he checked the room but could feel no danger. Sitting down, he resolved to stay attentive and be ready for whatever the night may bring.
Obi-Wan exhaled a sigh of relief as he felt his Master pull his awareness back to a more normal level. "Thanks guys," he said, acknowledging the fact that his friends had added their strength to help him to shield his presence. "It's a good thing he wasn't probing too deeply."
"What do you think made him suspicious?" Pa'Uul asked.
"Master has always been a bit wary of coincidences," Obi-Wan answered, keeping enough shielding in place to block his mental presence from Qui-Gon. "Hopefully he won't put things together until much later."
A short time later, the opening act finished their performance and the club personnel were busy resetting the stage for the main show. It was only a matter of moments before the room lights were dimming and the spotlight flash onto the center of the stage. A gasp came over the audience as a sultry form sauntered into the brilliance.
Tall and slender, the woman had ash blond hair that hung loosely past her waist. Kohl darkened brown eyes shown from the pale face and the shimmering emerald dress she wore enhanced her physical endowments.
After warms smiles and hellos to all the clubs occupants, the mesmerizing Chante Toulreft moved easily into her opening number.
Qui-Gon leaned back in his seat and allowed the husky tones of Chante's voice to surround him. As he listened to the familiar lyrics, he thought back to the last time he had heard the singer perform. It had been about three years ago while he and Obi-Wan were on Dornea for a treaty negotiation. There had been a two-day break in the talks for some minor planetary observance and the two of them had spent the time in some rare leisurely pursuits. On the second day, Obi-Wan had heard that Chante would be performing at one of the capitol's more trendy clubs that evening and arranged to take his Master as a surprise. Qui-Gon had been touched by his apprentice's considerate gesture and had enjoyed the evening tremendously.
As one song flowed into the next, Qui-Gon allowed himself to fall into the memories from that evening years ago. Obi-Wan had just turned nineteen and was again trying to convince his Master that they should deepen their relationship. Knowing that Chante Toulreft was one of Qui-Gon's favorite performers, he had arranged for a quiet dinner then a center stage table at the club, hoping they would prelude a more intimate, romantic encounter later.
The dinner, music and company had been extremely enjoyable and Qui-Gon had to fight not to allow himself to be drawn into the inviting web that his padawan was spinning. Obi-Wan had been so open and giving, that it had been necessary for him to use all of his Masterly controls to keep from succumbing to the younger man's charms. Returning to their quarters at the end of the evening, he turned away Obi-Wan's advances as gently as possible while assuring him that he had enjoyed the evening and appreciated all the efforts the padawan had gone through on his behalf.
Obi-Wan had accepted the gentle rebuke with only the slightest outward sign but Qui-Gon had easily felt the hurt radiating through their bond. After his apprentice had retreated to his sleep chamber, he had spent the remainder of the night in meditation to quell the ache that had surrounded his heart from causing Obi-Wan pain.
As the lighting in the room increased, Qui-Gon was drawn from his memories back into the present. He found Mace looking at him with a slight smirk.
"Aren't you glad we talked you into coming?" Mace said smugly. "This was just what you needed to get your mind off Obi-Wan. "
"Yes, this was a good idea," Qui-Gon replied with a touch of self-depreciating humor. Mentally he wondered about that. Although enjoyable, hearing Chante sing had focused his thoughts on Obi-Wan rather than away from him. That, coupled with the vision his padawan had made leaving their quarters earlier, told him that serenity would be a long time coming tonight. He resolved that once he returned to the Temple, he would spend the remainder of the night in meditation looking for guidance from the Force. If things continued as they were, he wondered if he even had the slightest chance of achieving his goal of keeping his feelings from Obi-Wan until his knighting.
The spotlight from the stage extended just far enough into the seating area for Obi-Wan to have a clear view of his Master. He watched as Qui-Gon lost himself in the music and could almost feel echoes of the man's thoughts through their shuttered bond. He could feel the warmth flowing towards him unconsciously as his Master's thoughts centered on him. Knowing that the last time Qui-Gon had seen Chante Tourleft perform they had been together, Obi-Wan was relatively certain that his Master was thinking about that time.
When the lights came up, Obi-Wan pulled his awareness back and concentrated on what he could do to move along with his plans. Part of him wanted to wait to speak to Qui-Gon until they had returned to the privacy of their own quarters but the other part of him wanted to approach his Master in front of Master Santee. He was still deep in thought when the lights again lowered and Chante returned to the stage.
The heavy blues songs that Chante had performed during her first set now gave way to a series of romantic ballads. By the time the third such song was filling the room, pairs of beings had moved from their tables to dance floor. The couples moved together in a sensual rhythm, swaying to the music and to the draw of their partners.
Obi-Wan lowered the shields separating his mind from his Master's and grasped his friend's hand. "Come on Pa'Uul, let dance." He pulled the other padawan from his seat and onto the dance floor before he could even reply to the request.
The bright presence of his apprentice burst across their bond at almost the same moment that Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan glide into the expanse of swaying bodies tugging Pa'Uul in tow. His eyes refused to be pulled from the sight as his padawan drew the other man's willing body into his arms and settled his hands against his partner's shifting hips. They moved sensuously with the music, seemingly unaware of anyone or anything around them.
As the couple's motions reversed their position in relation to him, Qui-Gon could see Pa'Uul's hands cupping Obi-Wan's buttocks and kneading the firm muscle hidden beneath the dark blue leather. He knew he should look away before he was detected but when Obi-Wan lifted his head and turned his direction, he realized it was too late. Gray-green eyes bore into his but the emotions behind them surprised him. Rather than the annoyance he had expected at his privacy being invaded, the look Obi-Wan speared him with was full of heat, passion and love. He felt a responding surge of love and desire flow within him before turning away from those smoldering eyes.
As the song ended, Qui-Gon looked back into the group of couples to find that the padawans were no longer among them. When Chante's melodious voice rang out again, he started at the feel of a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see his apprentice in all his sensual glory standing beside the table. "Obi-Wan," he rasped out at he fought another surge of lust at the vision before him.
"My Master," Obi-Wan purred in reply. He shifted his hand to rest against the warmth of Qui-Gon's neck, shrouded by the heavy fall of hair. "Are you enjoying Chante's performance?"
Qui-Gon studied the mischievous expression on his apprentice's face as he tried to read behind those sparkling green eyes. Had this all been a coincidence or had Obi-Wan somehow made sure that he and his friends had found out that Chante's was going to be at the club? "Very much. How about you?"
"Her performance has brought back some very pleasant memories for me," Obi-Wan said as he stroked the back of Qui-Gon's neck.
"Did you have anything..."Qui-Gon began.
"Would you dance with me, Master?" Obi-Wan interrupted before the question could be fully voiced. Although he had done a few circumspect things to get to this point in the evening, he had never blatantly lied to his Master in all the years he had been Qui-Gon's padawan. And he didn't plan on starting now.
Qui-Gon struggled to stay calm as he looked at his enticing apprentice. He wondered about the timing of the request, especially with the way Obi-Wan and Pa'Uul had been acting on the dance floor. Their behavior suggested that the young men's relationship was taking a more intimate turn. If that was indeed the case, why was Obi-Wan asking him? "Wouldn't you rather be dancing with Pa'Uul?" he said after a moment.
"There'll be time for Pa'Uul later. Right now I would like to share a dance with you," Obi-Wan replied with a smile.
As tempting as that invitation was, Qui-Gon hesitated. Hiding his feelings from Obi-Wan was difficult enough under normal circumstances. Keeping his controls with that luscious body in his arms would be a monumental task. But he couldn't think of a way of refusing without hurting Obi-Wan or causing a scene. He reached up and grasped the hand that still rested on his neck. "I would be honored to share a dance with you, my Padawan."
Obi-Wan buried his excitement as he stepped back to allow his Master to rise from his seat. He led Qui-Gon onto the dance floor just as Chante began another song. Placing his hands on the taller man's shoulders, Obi-Wan stood a slight distance from him and began to sway slowly to the music.
Qui-Gon placed his hands on Obi-Wan's hips and matched the younger man's rhythmic movements. As he looked into those chameleon eyes, he was almost overwhelmed by the love that shone in them. "Obi-Wan," he began but was stopped by a finger to his lips.
"Why, Master?" Obi-Wan asked softly. He could see that Qui-Gon was confused by the question so with a deep breath he continued. "Why do you continue to deny the feelings that are growing between us?" Removing the finger from against those lips, he locked his gaze with those intense blue eyes and waited.
A wave a shock rolled through Qui-Gon at Obi-Wan's words. They had been spoken with such certainty. He had put so much effort into keeping his love hidden from Obi-Wan. Had his shields slipped at some point? "What?'" he asked incredulously.
"Why haven't you been honest with me about how you feel?" Obi-Wan repeated earnestly.
A multitude of excuses and denials ran through his mind but looking into the vulnerable face of his apprentice, Qui-Gon found that he was unwilling to speak any of them. "There are many reasons, my Padawan, but I'm finding the strength of them is waning." A ghost of a smile formed as he continued. "Your age was my biggest concern but as you have so adeptly shown tonight, you are no longer a child."
Hope blossomed in Obi-Wan's heart as Qui-Gon spoke. "I haven't been a child for quite some time," he replied. He moved his hands from those broad shoulders, clasped them firmly behind his Master's neck and shifted a bit closer.
"Obi-Wan, it's not that simple," Qui-Gon said firmly as he took two steps backward. The sexual heat flowing from that lithe body was too much of a distraction at this close proximity. He locked his elbows to keep his apprentice from moving forward then spoke. "You're no longer a child but you are still my student."
When the music stopped, Qui-Gon turned to head back to the table. His movement was halted when Obi-Wan stood motionless before him. " Padawan, the song is over."
"But our conversation is not," Obi-Wan replied seriously. "Another will begin and this is important."
Qui-Gon was about to agree when he caught a glimpse of Pa'Uul off to the right and frowned. "What of your friends? What about Pa'Uul?" He reached up to grasp Obi-Wan's hands and pull them from his neck.
"What about him?" Obi-Wan asked curtly.
"You came here with him," Qui-Gon answered in the same tone. "Are you always so callous with your partner's feelings?"
"I am here with a group of my friends - not a specific person. And as you so often point out, things are not always as they appear," Obi-Wan replied with a smile.
Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan a stern look and frowned. "Well, it appeared that you and Pa'Uul were very comfortable with each other." Chante's voice rang out through the room as she began another number. Unwilling to be deflected any further by his padawan, Qui-Gon started back towards his table.
Obi-Wan grasped Qui-Gon's hand in an attempt to stop his movement. "Please Master, we need to talk about this. I can't forget what I heard."
That statement stopped the Master in his tracks. "What you heard?" Qui-Gon asked in disbelief as his heart pounded in his chest.
Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan stepped closer to Qui-Gon and looked intently at him. "I overheard you taking to Master Santee earlier. I was coming from the refresher and I heard an unfamiliar voice. When I stopped to try to figure out who you were taking to, I heard my name." The thunderous expression that spread over his Master's face made Obi-Wan take a half step back. "It was an accident," he offered in explanation.
"You invaded my privacy by eavesdropping on a conversation between myself and one of my friends," Qui-Gon said coldly. "And now you try to make an excuse for your behavior. I'm disappointed in you, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan felt a surge of pain at the hurt shining in his Master's eyes but pushed it aside for the moment. The Force was telling him not to back down now and he didn't want to give Qui-Gon a chance to retreat. "I apologize for the disrespect, Master, but I'm not sorry that I heard what you said to Master Santee. Otherwise it would have been years before I'd have known that you return my feelings."
"The end does not always justify the means, my Padawan," Qui-Gon said sadly. "The price for this breach of trust may be higher than you anticipated." He could feel the eyes of both his and Obi-Wan's friends boring into them as they stood motionless amid the swaying couples. "Now is not the time or the place for us to be having this conversation. You should return to your friends, Padawan," he added firmly.
That 'direct order from your Master' tone told Obi-Wan that this was not the time to push the issue too strongly but he wasn't willing to give in without at least a minor concession. "Give me your word that we will finish this conversation and I will." Holding onto a strong bicep, he looked intently into the older man's eyes as he waited for a response.
The look of resolve on his apprentice's face made him stifle a chuckle. All the years of negotiating at his side had taught the boy too well. He didn't know whether he wanted to praise him or throttle him. At least finishing the conversation later would allow him some time to get his thoughts together. "We will finish this discussion tomorrow, Obi-Wan, after your morning classes," he agreed.
"That is acceptable," Obi-Wan replied seriously. He kept his eyes locked with his Master's as he remained standing motionless before him.
As those gray-green eyes bored steadily into his, Qui-Gon wondered just exactly what he had gotten himself into. When Obi-Wan bowed formally to him and walked off to join his friends, he sighed. It was a very good thing that he had not agreed to continue this conversation tonight. The delay would give him extra time to spend in meditation. And the way things were going he was definitely going to need it.
Qui-Gon sat heavily in his seat and struggled to ignore the knowing stares of his companions. He closed his eyes and allowed Chante's soothing voice to wash over and through him. The longer he went without acknowledging Mace and Elijah, the longer he would be able to deflect the comments he knew were coming.
The smile Obi-Wan wore when he rejoined his friends could have lit a small room. Pa'Uul was the first one to speak. "So Kenobi, how did it go?"
"Not as well as I would have liked but better than I expected," Obi-Wan answered cryptically.
"What in the seven Sith hells is that suppose to mean?" Garen asked.
Obi-Wan laughed as he glanced across the room at the object of his affections. "Well, he didn't wrapped me in his arms and kiss me senseless but he did agree that we would talk about things after my classes tomorrow."
When the club lights came back up to a normal intensity, Qui-Gon was forced to open his eyes and face his friends. As expected Elijah was the first one to comment. "It appeared that you and your young apprentice were having a rather serious conversation out there, my friend," he said. "Care to share the details?"
The look Qui-Gon speared him with could have frozen molten lava. "No, I would not," he replied flatly. "What I would like is to leave. Are you two ready?" he added as he rose from his seat.
Elijah glanced at Mace then over to the stage where the club personnel were setting up instruments that looked to belong to a heavy rock band. "Well since it would seem that the remainder of the evening's entertainment will not be quite to our tastes, we might as well head back to the Temple." Elijah winked at Mace then turned back to face Qui-Gon. "Let's go to your quarters and we can talk about this situation with young Kenobi."
"I don't think so," Qui-Gon muttered as he walked steadily toward the door. He exited the club and had gone thirty meters down the walkway by the time Mace and Elijah caught up with him. Before either man had a chance to speak, Qui-Gon made his position perfectly clear. "This evening has been very enjoyable but I'm going back to my quarters alone. I want to spend some time meditating." With that said, he continued down the walkway in the direction of the Temple.
Mace and Elijah watched with a touch of disbelief as Qui-Gon strode rapidly away from them. Mace broke the silence that had enveloped them on their friend's departure. "I don't know what those two were talking about on the dance floor, but I'll say one thing. If Padawan Kenobi's expression was an indication, I have a feeling that Qui-Gon's life is going to get very interesting over the next few days."
Elijah nodded his agreement and wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulders. With a joint laugh, the two Masters headed back to their quarters at a much more sedate pace then their agitated companion.
Obi-Wan was torn as he watched Qui-Gon and his friends leave 'Club Oasis'. Although he had a strong urge to head back to his quarters and finish the conversation with his Master, his intellect overruled his heart. Pressing the man to talk now would only irritate him without any real possibility of changing his mind. He might as well remain here with his friends. Grabbing the glass of ale that sat neglected on the table, he took a long swallow and settled back in his chair to relax. The group setting up was one of his favorites, so he might as well enjoy listening to them and dancing. He was relatively certain that sleep would not be readily forthcoming tonight. If he stayed out until the wee hours and exhausted himself on the dance floor, maybe he would be able to get at least a few hours.
It took only a matter of minutes for Qui-Gon to reach his quarters. He entered the darkened rooms and hung his cloak by habit alone. He walked into his sleep chamber and removed his boots and tunics. After pulling out the leather tie that held back his hair, he pushed open the tranparisteel panel that led to the balcony. With two long strides, he was standing at the balcony railing and looking out over the city.
Qui-Gon sought to calm his racing mind and heart as he watched the pattern of traffic flying around the Temple. It pained him to know that his padawan had intentionally listened to his private conversation. Trust was the most important aspect of a Master/Padawan relationship and he had always trusted Obi-Wan implicitly. Memories of a more serious betrayal came unbiddened into his mind and he struggled to push away the taunting vision of his previous apprentice: Xanatos' laughing blue eyes mocking the years of trust and devotion as he jeered and cursed.
"No," Qui-Gon chided himself aloud. In his heart, he knew that Obi-Wan was nothing like Xanatos. His padawan was honest with his emotions and feelings and was purely of the Light. Obi-Wan shouldn't have listened when he heard him talking to Elijah but he should have been more careful. Talking about his feelings for his apprentice while the younger man was in their quarters had been irresponsible. Would he have been able to walk away if the situation had been reversed? Had he subconsciously wanted Obi-Wan to hear? He had so much to think about but he needed to find his center if he was to deal with the myriad of emotions within him.
Stepping back to the door, Qui-Gon grabbed his meditation mat and placed it on the balcony floor. He dropped to his knees and opened his mind to the Force, concentrating on his relationship with his Padawan. He endeavored to replay his conversation with Obi-Wan in the club, beginning with his padawan's first soft spoken 'why'. The expression the young man wore was a combination of total love and utter vulnerability. Focusing on the one moment in time, Qui-Gon allowed his meditation to deepen, leading him where it would.
It was after 0300 when Obi-Wan returned to the quarters he shared with his Master. He and his friends had stayed at the club until it closed then had gone into an all night café for an early morning snack. Though his mind was still racing from everything that had gone on during the evening, the late hour combined with his almost non-stop attendance on the dance floor had left him ready to sleep.
A slight breeze flowing out from his Master's open door made Obi-Wan stop and look inside. The bed was still neatly made and the room appeared to be empty. Surprise flowed through him and he took two steps into the room. The kneeling silhouette of the older man beyond the door to the balcony caught his eye. He stood for a moment, studying the unmoving figure with love and awe. From all appearances, Qui-Gon had returned to their quarters over five hours before and had been meditating ever since.
With a last longing glance at his Master's kneeling form, Obi-Wan walked from the room. Happiness flowed through him at the notion that Qui-Gon had taken their talk seriously enough that he had spent all this time considering their planned discussion. After sending a tiny mental caress across their bond, he entered his own room and quickly prepared for bed. In a matter of minutes, he was climbing under the covers and clearing his mind to sleep.
The feel of the sun on his face slowly drew Qui-Gon from his lengthy meditation. Stiff from the hours of kneeling, he rose to his feet slowly and carefully stretched his unused muscles until they were sufficiently loosened. Reentering his room, he was surprised to feel recent traces of his apprentice's presence wisping in the air. His bedroom had always served as a private haven for him and Obi-Wan very seldom came further than the doorway. He wondered what had prompted the younger man to break that habit. Extending along the bond, he found that his padawan was in his own room, sleeping soundly. He pondered whether he should just begin his day or attempt to get a few hours of sleep. The outcry of his still stiff body for the comfort of his bed made the decision for him. Dropping his leggings to the floor, he slid between the crisp sheets and gave in to his body's demand for rest.
The smell of cinnamon and brewing tea pulled Qui-Gon from the clutches of sleep into wakefulness. A glance at the chrono reinforced what he knew instinctively; he had slept well past his normal waking time. Obi-Wan would be leaving for his classes soon and he didn't want his apprentice to think that he was deliberately avoiding him this morning. He also wanted to get a sense of the younger man feelings regarding last night's events now that he'd had a chance to meditate and regain his own center. He had come to see that he had overreacted somewhat based on his own hard to dispel fears.
Qui-Gon rose from the bed, pulled on his discarded leggings and used his fingers to attempt to tame the tangled mass of hair that flowed over his shoulders. Realizing it was a futile effort, he grabbed a tie from the night table and pulled the hair into a straggly tail. That would have to be good enough for the time being.
He entered the small kitchen to find Obi-Wan placing an assortment of items on a plate. Qui-Gon watched as he set the plate down and went on to pour tea into a large mug. He reached the table just as the younger man turned to face him.
"Good morning, Master," Obi-Wan said with a warm smile. He handed the steaming mug to his Master and directed him to where the plate was placed. "Sit and eat your breakfast."
Qui-Gon looked at his padawan intently as he took his seat as instructed. Not withstanding his slightly strengthened shields, the younger man moved calmly about the kitchen in his normal routine as if last night had never occurred. He knew that they didn't have time for a real discussion but he needed reassurance that their relationship had not damaged. He took a long swallow of tea then spoke. "Obi-Wan, about last night..." he began.
"My first class starts in less then ten minutes. I really should be leaving now, " Obi-Wan interrupted. He wasn't ready to start this discussion unless they could see it through. He started to leave the kitchen but was stopped by the tone of voice of the next word.
"Wait," Qui-Gon ordered. When the gray-green eyes met his, he continued. "There is something I need to be certain that you understand above all else. You are the most important thing in my life, Obi-Wan. I've always tried to keep your best interests in mind and I never meant to hurt you." His voice cracked as he spoke the last few words.
Emotion bubbled up in Obi-Wan and he struggled not to throw himself at Qui-Gon's feet. He had not seen his Master overcome by emotion since he was sixteen. It had been the first time he told the man that he loved him. Qui-Gon had made him sit down beside him and had proceeded to explain about his relationship with Xanatos. Obi-Wan had a very basic knowledge of his predecessor from their previous encounters but Qui-Gon had never before discussed their partnership. Qui-Gon had not shared too many details but pain radiating from his Master as he relayed the final betrayal on Telos had been overwhelming. He had resolved that he would never cause Qui-Gon to go through that type of pain again.
Fighting to keep his voice steady, Obi-Wan replied. "I know, Master. That's one of the reasons I love you so much." With his emotional control shaky at best, he knew that he couldn't continue. "My last class ends at 1300. Do you want me to meet you back here then?" he deflected gently.
"I will be waiting for you. We have much to discuss," Qui-Gon replied with a slight smile. He watched as Obi-Wan gathered his datapads and headed for the door. Once it slid closed behind his padawan's departing form, he blew out a breath and turned back to the food his apprentice had prepared. His overnight meditation had revealed that this was the proper path for them. He just hoped that they would arrive at the end of the path with their relationship intact.
Qui-Gon finished his breakfast, showered and dressed then spent the remainder of the morning catching up on reports and correspondence. He ignored the comm messages from both Elijah and Mace, not wanting to have to avoid the questions about his padawan that he knew would be asked. He was just finishing archiving the report from their last mission when Obi-Wan returned.
Obi-Wan was not surprised to find his Master busily typing into his datapad when he got back to their quarters. He was thankful for his foresight in stopping at the dining hall to pick up food when he saw no traces that Qui-Gon had even thought about it. He moved into the common room, deposited the food containers on the table and reached for the datapad in his Master's hand. "Would I be correct in assuming that you have not eaten mid-day meal?" he asked with a chuckle.
"You know me too well," Qui-Gon replied in the same tone. He picked up the research material that covered the space beside him and motioned for Obi-Wan to join him on the worn sofa.
Obi-Wan obeyed that unspoken request as if it had been a direct order. As much as he had fantasized about Qui-Gon just pulling him into his arms and ravishing him, he knew that reality would be a lot more involved. Even though he had gotten the man to realize he was an adult, moving forward would be complicated by their teacher/student relationship. He needed to find a way to make Qui-Gon see that they could bring their relationship to this more intimate level without negatively impacting his training.
As he waited for Qui-Gon to speak, Obi-Wan opened the containers from the dining hall. He grabbed one of the Tanabian rolls and handed another to his Master. Sitting back and focusing only on the item in his hands, he had eaten almost half of it before a soft voice drew his attention upward.
"This is a conversation I did not expect to be having for a few years yet, my Padawan," Qui-Gon began. He reached for the braided length that hung from behind Obi-Wan's right ear and wrapped it around his fingers. "I've even gone so far as to imagine it a few times but it was always after your knighting. This is a very serious step for us to consider taking at this time."
Obi-Wan could see concern in the blue eyes that looked at him but could also see the love that shone there. He needed to get his Master to focus solely on their love for the moment. Everything else could be worked out from there. "Do you know how much I love you?" He thinned his shields and allowed all the love he felt to flow across the training bond. He saw the slight shudder that went through the older man and pushed on. "You're the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. I would do almost anything to keep you safe and free from any type of pain. You are the center of my universe." He reinforced his words by taking a large callused hand and covering it with his own.
Wavering under the onslaught of love flowing through the bond, the older man felt his apprehensions weakening further. "Even when I rejected you as a twelve year old, you managed to find a way through my barriers," Qui-Gon said softly. He looked up into those chameleon eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Do you want to know when I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with you?" When Obi-Wan nodded, he explained. "It was during the treaty negotiations on Elom."
"But I wasn't even allowed in the chambers. They considered me a child," Obi-Wan interrupted.
"That's true but you were respectful and outgoing with everyone, not showing the slightest resentment at being excluded from your assigned place," Qui-Gon said. "I had just left the negotiations and went into the garden to find you. You were sitting on the grass surrounded by five small children. They had crashed the model fighter they were playing with and the boy it belonged to was crying. You dried his tears and used the Force to hold the model together for one more flight." He ran his fingertips across his padawan's cheek in a tender caress. "You were so caring and unselfish with those children. My feelings for you exploded into my heart with such power at that moment, I could no longer ignore them."
"I still don't understand why you have hidden this from me for all these years," Obi-Wan questioned. "Your concerns when I was a teenager were valid but once I reached the age of majority..." He took a deep breath to push back the hurt that was surfacing and looked down at their clasped hands. "You have been willing to trust me with your life and the lives of a multitude of others. Why couldn't you trust me with your love?"
"It was never a matter of trust, my Padawan," Qui-Gon replied as he used his free hand to raise Obi-Wan's face to meet his gaze. Unshed tears made those eyes glisten like the Chad seas and the pain they held ripped into his soul. He resolved to do whatever it took to wipe the hurt from that beloved face. Steeling himself with all the resolve he possessed, he pushed on. "I was afraid - afraid that if I allowed our relationship to become intimate, my judgment would become clouded and I would fail you. You have the potential to become a great Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan. I would never forgive myself if my shortcomings kept you from living up to that potential"
"I beg to differ with you here, my Master," Obi-Wan countered. "I believe that you would be even harder on both of us if our relationship became intimate, just to insure that my training would not be compromised." Still clutching his Master's hand, he slid from the sofa and knelt at his feet. "I know I should have walked away last night when I heard you talking about me but I was just so shocked. I never meant to invade your privacy."
"I overreacted last night", Qui-Gon admitted. "I realize now that you didn't do it intentionally."
"It took all my composure not to rush into the common room and throw myself into your arms, even though I was dressed in only a towel and you had a guest," Obi-Wan responded with a shy smile.
"That would have definitely caused a stir," Qui-Gon chuckled.
Reassured by the lightened tone, Obi-Wan asked hesitantly. "So where do we go from here? I for one am not willing to ignore what is developing between us."
"I spent most of the night meditating on how we should proceed and I must admit that I have come to that decision myself," Qui-Gon replied sincerely. "I do have a question before we continue though. What of Pa'Uul? It appeared that you two have become more than friends."
Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan realized that he must be totally honest. "Although we were casual partners when we were much younger, we are just friends now. My choice of clothing and our performances on the walkway and the dance floor were all part of the plan." Preparing himself for censure, he continued. "I had to make you see that I was no longer a child and had grown into a sexually mature man and that was the only way I could think of to do it."
"And the Club?" Qui-Gon asked flatly.
"We were standing outside the restaurant trying to decide how to proceed when the Twi'lek girl handed Garen a flyer," Obi-Wan admitted reluctantly. "Reading it made me think that the Force was answering my prayers. I paid the Twi'lek to stand by the door and make sure you all got flyers. I know the host at the 'Oasis' so I asked him to hold the front row table for you as a favor." He finally pulled away from his Master's penetrating gaze, placed his head deferentially on the older man's knees and added, "I know that it was wrong to manipulate you so that I could prove my point. It was a selfish way to act towards someone that I love but I could think of no other way to get through to you. Please... forgive me."
"Although it hurts me to know that you resorted to this, I know that I am not the easiest person to sway once I've made up my mind," Qui-Gon replied. Reaching down to raise the bowed head to face him, he added. "We must forgive each other these half-truths and manipulations and move on honestly from this point. But we must move forward cautiously. As I said before, I will not allow your training to suffer because of this change."
"Master, I am fully committed to my training and to you," Obi-Wan declared. "I would never infringe on our personal relationship during my training and I will not betray the faith and trust you place in me. I am not Xanatos," he added in a whisper.
Touched by his padawan's soft-spoken vow, he parted his knees and pulled the younger man to rest between them. "I know that you are nothing like him, Obi-Wan and I do trust you." He cupped the younger man's cheek and ran his thumb over his bottom lip. "Just remember that and be patient with me if we take things more slowly that you wish."
Happiness flowed through him at his Master's words and an impish grin blossomed on Obi-Wan's face. "Though I certainly would not object if you just wanted to ravish me right here, just knowing that you are willing to allow us to admit and explore our feelings is enough for now."
"I will remind you of those words when your patience is tested, my Padawan," Qui-Gon replied with a smirk of his own. He dropped a chaste kiss to the spiky hair and when he pulled back his expression was once again serious. "I would like to discuss how we should proceed with Master Yoda. I'm fairly certain that we will be required to make an appearance before the full Council." He could see Obi-Wan's confusion so he explained further. "Although an intimate relationship between a Master and Padawan is not prohibited once the apprentice has reached the age of majority, it is also not encouraged. The Council will want to ensure that your training will not be compromised. Especially when the Master is question is the rebellious Qui-Gon Jinn," he added with a slight smile.
"Having Master Yoda in our corner would be helpful," Obi-Wan replied thoughtfully. He looked up at the chrono and a smile began to form. "Why don't you call him and invite him here for late meal. I should have just enough time to prepare some of his favorites. My Master taught me to use all available tools when entering into important negotiations," he added with a wink.
"You have learned your lessons well," Qui-Gon chuckled. As he locked his gaze with Obi-Wan's, those gray-green eyes shifted from mischievous to smoldering. Although his padawan was still kneeling calmly between his legs, Qui-Gon felt a surge of arousal flow across the bond before it was tamped down. Deeply affected by the younger man's struggle to follow his lead, a wave of love and desire rose up in him.
Leaning forward, Qui-Gon slid his hand behind his padawan's neck and drew him forward until he could feel Obi-Wan's quickened breath on his face. He could feel anticipation and confusion growing in the younger man as he moved closer. The sight of the tip of a pink tongue moistening those enticing lips galvanized him and he covered them with his own. He began slowly, melding their lips with just the slightest hint of pressure. As he deepened the kiss, he ran his tongue over Obi-Wan's fuller bottom lip before sucking at it gently. Lips parted as a low moan escaped from them and he took advantage of the opening to slip his tongue into his padawan's mouth. He explored the warm wetness, savoring the honey-tinged taste that he was certain he would rapidly become addicted to.
The flash of shock at his Master's uncharacteristic move was quickly buried as Obi-Wan melted into the kiss. The feel of that probing tongue sent tingles through his body and he met the questing tongue with his own. After a few moments, he sought to complete his own explorations and was pleased when Qui-Gon's lips parted to allow him entry. He licked and tasted the warm cavern and each throaty groan his probe elicited sent a surge of arousal straight to his groin.
With a last nip on that kiss swollen lower lip, Qui-Gon reluctantly separated his mouth from Obi-Wan's. He smiled as he looked into the younger man's passion glazed eyes and dropped a kiss to the tip of his nose. "You can consider that my promise to you, my Padawan. I can no longer deny that we belong together. And one day we will share everything that two people in love can share."
"I will cherish that promise, my Master," Obi-Wan replied huskily. He caressed the bearded chin with his fingertips and he fought to quell his throbbing erection. He rose to his feet and started towards the kitchen. "For the sake of my sanity, sharing everything better not take too long," he muttered as he left the room.
Qui-Gon stifled a laugh as those muffled words reached his ears. Fighting to control his own arousal, he wondered what Obi-Wan would think if he knew that he had also been deeply affected by their kiss. Knowing it would be best if that fact was not revealed at this point, he rose carefully and moved to the comm terminal to invite his former Master to dinner.
After a quick trip to central stores to get the necessary items, Obi-Wan set to work to create a very special meal. For about two hours, he worked methodically preparing the five dishes that would comprise the meal. By the time the main meal was in the roaster and the creamed dessert was placed in the cooler, he was a sight to behold. Tunics, obi, sash and boots had been removed over the course of the afternoon and he stood at the counter dressed only in leggings that bore signs of each item he had prepared.
Qui-Gon leaned against the doorframe watching his apprentice with a smile on his lips. Flour dusted his chest and hair and splashes of cream and berry sauce covered his arms. He pushed back the surge of longing that ran through him as he looked. The younger man's innocent, bedraggled appearance presented as erotic a sight as he had been in silk and leather the previous evening.
Obi-Wan could feel the weight of his Master's gaze and glanced over to the doorway to see the man smiling at him. "Is there something you find amusing?" he asked as he placed the bowl he was holding into the washing unit.
"You seem to be wearing many of the foods you're preparing," Qui-Gon chuckled as he joined his padawan at the counter. He pressed his lips to Obi-Wan's cheek, lapping at a spot of berry sauce that rested there with his tongue. "You are definitely a temptation, my Padawan. It's a good thing Master Yoda will be here shortly." His smiling eyes had darkened with passion when he stepped back.
Obi-Wan felt his own surge of longing at Qui-Gon's words and the look in his eyes. "Would you consider contacting Master Yoda and postponing dinner for a couple of hours?" he asked hopefully.
"Control, my Padawan," Qui-Gon laughed. "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." He pushed the younger man towards the refresher. "I'll finish cleaning up in here while you shower and change."
"What happened to living in the moment, my Master?" Obi-Wan grumbled. As he left the kitchen and glanced back at his already busy master, he groaned in frustration. Qui-Gon annoyingly seemed his normal calm and serene self as he worked to clean up while his flesh throbbed insistently between his legs from just those words and that look. He began to wonder if he just shouldn't just give up on remaining sane and allow the madness of his repressed arousal to claim him. Maybe then his Master would see that waiting wasn't the smartest thing to do.
Obi-Wan felt Master Yoda enter their quarters as he was wrapping his sash around his waist. He finished dressing quickly and went directly to the common room to greet the diminutive Master. "Good evening, Master Yoda," he said as he bowed deeply. "We're glad you could join us for dinner."
"Happy to be invited, I was," Yoda replied. Long green ears twitched and his gimer stick was swung easily into Qui-Gon's shins. "Find time for his old Master, your Master seldom does. Glad to see that your manners are better, young padawan."
Qui-Gon ignored the caustic comment and motioned to the small chair that had been part of his common room since he was first knighted. "Please have a seat. Can I get you a drink? Some Chiambordia perhaps?" When Yoda moved to the chair, he quickly filled a tiny fluted glass with the thick violet liquid and brought it to him.
The gnarly green hand accepted the small glass and brought it to his lips. After swallowing the potent liquid, Yoda looked intently at Qui-Gon. "Troubled you are. Need my help with something, you do."
Knowing that it would be better to have this conversation with Master Yoda after he had eaten, Obi-Wan deflected the question. "Please come into the dining room, Masters. Dinner is ready."
Thankful that his apprentice was so perceptive, Qui-Gon followed his Master and helped him into the custom seat at the carved wooden table. Obi-Wan brought the serving dishes in from the kitchen and within moments they were enjoying the tasty fruits of his labors. The dinner conversation was kept on safe, general topics and the time passed very pleasantly.
After they had finished the main meal, Obi-Wan directed the two Masters back into the common room. He joined them in a few moments, carrying a tray that contained dessert and tea. He served Master Yoda and his Master then settled on the floor beside them with his own cup and plate. He felt a reassuring wave of love flow across the bond before Qui-Gon spoke.
"I know you are aware that I have had feelings for Obi-Wan for quite some time and that he has similar feelings for me," Qui-Gon explained. "After spending much time in meditation looking for direction from the Force, I have come to see that hiding these feelings from Obi-Wan was wrong."
"Hrrmp," Yoda grumbled. "Stubborn you have always been. Deny the call of the Force for years, you did. Suddenly willing to listen now, you are?"
"I know that it took me a long time to accept that Obi-Wan and I were destined to be Master and Padawan," Qui-Gon said. He reached out his hand, rested it on the back of the younger man's neck and smiled. "My partnership with Obi-Wan is the best thing that ever happened to me. The Force has been whispering that we have the potential for a much deeper relationship - a soul bond or possibly even a life bond."
Shock rang through Obi-Wan at his Master's words. Soul bonds sometimes occurred among Jedi couples and he had fantasized about the possibility but life bonds were extremely rare. He knew that his love for Qui-Gon was deep and true but he had never imagined that they were destined to bond that completely within the Force. "A life bond," he whispered.
"With the Force, many possibilities exist," Yoda said. "Think long and hard before deciding, you must. Deeper bond may occur but threaten your Master/Padawan bond it could." He attempted to reinforce his words physically but was thwarted.
Obi-Wan stuck out his hand to intercept the gimer stick swinging towards his Master's legs. The motion directed Yoda's attention to him. "Love your Master, you do Padawan Kenobi but in love with him are you?"
"Yes, Master Yoda. I am in love with him," Obi-Wan replied firmly. "I want to be able to pursue an intimate relationship with my Master."
"Willing to risk your Knighthood, are you?" Yoda asked seriously.
"I have meditated for hundreds of hours on my feelings for Qui-Gon, Master Yoda. The Force would not be singing within me so strongly that this is the correct path for us if it meant sacrificing my Knighthood," Obi-Wan replied with conviction.
Pride rose within Qui-Gon at the maturity with which his apprentice replied to the elderly Master. Sending another wash of love across the bond, he slipped from his chair and knelt at Yoda's feet. "I ask that you examine our bond, my Master. I think you will find that is has already begun to morph into something much deeper." As he bowed his head, he was not surprised to find that Obi-Wan had moved to kneel beside him in an identical posture.
Placing a three-fingered hand on each bent head, Master Yoda closed his eyes. "Your minds you will open to me," he ordered. With all the delicacy and skill of his seven hundred plus years, he probed along the training bond connecting their minds.
Although the intrusion of another mind into his felt strange, Obi-Wan kept still and allowed the revered Master to examine him. He could feel the silent support of his Master and clasped onto it.
The feel of Yoda's probe within his mind was familiar to Qui-Gon so he endured it with ease. He sent reassurance to his padawan as he felt the younger man's discomfort. After a few moments, his old Master's mental presence returned to its normal, muted level and he looked up to meet that knowledgeable gaze. "My Master?" he queried as a gnarled finger came to rest against his cheek.
"Beginnings of a lifebond there is," Yoda replied. Love and concern were evident in the raspy voice as he locked his gaze with Qui-Gon's. "Proceed carefully you must, my Padawan. Difficult the balance of Master and lover will be. Young Obi-Wan's training must be placed above all else."
"Nothing will stand in the way of the completion of Obi-Wan's apprenticeship. He will become a full Jedi Knight, " Qui-Gon vowed.
"Take my leave of you now, I will," Yoda said. "Meditate I must. Make any attempt to solidify the bond, you will not. Appear before the Council before you proceed, you must."
Master and Padawan rose in tandem to stand before the elderly Councilor but Obi-Wan was the one to reply. "I've been waiting for six years, Master Yoda. A few more days should be no problem," he said with a smirk.
Yoda did not bother to reply. He rose from his chair and hobbled to the door. Once he had entered the hallway, he turned back to look at the two men. "Invite me to dinner more often, you should." Leaning heavily on his stick, he walked slowly down the hallway.
As the door slid closed, Qui-Gon placed his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulder and directed him back to the sofa. "I'm very proud of you, love," he said softly. "You handled yourself very well with Master Yoda under very unusual circumstances."
"Say that again," Obi-Wan implored.
"You handled yourself well," Qui-Gon repeated in confusion.
"Not that," Obi-Wan corrected.
As recognition dawned, Qui-Gon cupped a smooth cheek in his palm. "Love," he whispered. He leaned forward, covered Obi-Wan's lips with his and kissed him lightly. The bond surged powerfully within them and they were drawn more deeply into the kiss. Qui-Gon's tongue slid between his padawan's lips and he drank deeply of the younger man's intoxicating flavor. They were both panting when they finally separated. "We must wait, Obi-Wan. As much as we both want to move forward, we cannot without the sanction of the Council." After dropping a kiss to the spiky hair, he pushed back his arousal and rose. "Let's go clean up from dinner. Then we can do the meditation on patience and serenity together before we retire."
Obi-Wan gave his Master a wry smile as he stood beside him. "After few hours of meditation and a couple of cold showers, I might even be able to sleep."
Qui-Gon was the first one to come out of their shared meditation and he used the time to study his padawan intently. The serious features that Obi-Wan normally wore when training were softer and more open. The lines that formed between his brows during deep concentration had disappeared completely. The Light shone from him like a beacon and he fought the impulse to cover every inch of that smooth face with kisses. He chided himself for this waver of his controls even as his mind wondered if the peaceful expression on that handsome face would be duplicated in the depths of sleep. As other possibilities brought on by that thought flooded his mind with fantasy images, he pushed them away as he memorized every feature. For the past five years he had not allowed himself this luxury and he found he wanted to lose himself in them. He closed his eyes and concentrated to engrave the image on his mind's eye.
As Obi-Wan came back into the reality of their common room, he took in the sight before him. He could feel that Qui-Gon was no longer meditating but the man still knelt, stone still and with his eyes tightly closed as if in deep concentration. He felt himself leaning forward almost without thought, drawn by the power of the bond expanding within them. He closed his eyes to minimize the appeal and opened them again at the sound of a low chuckle. He quirked an eyebrow as he looked into the amused blue eyes of his Master.
"We seem to be undergoing similar internal battles, my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said as he rose to his feet. He extended a hand and pulled the younger man willingly into his embrace. He held the lithe form tightly against his chest and spoke soothingly into the ear by his lips. "I know it seems that you will not be able to survive this longing but we will be amply rewarded for our patience. The strength of our bond will only intensify if we move forward carefully and allow it to build slowly."
Obi-Wan tightened his arms around the slim waist and his words were muted as he spoke against the broad chest. "Well, if I survive this mentally stable, you will know that all those hours spent in patience and serenity exercises were not in vain."
The reemergence of his apprentice's caustic humor reassured Qui-Gon that all would be well. "You are a treasure, my Padawan," he said as he dropped a kiss on the top of his head. "One that I will always cherish." He relaxed his hold on the younger man and took a step back. "Now off to the showers and bed for you. We will need to be both physically and mental refreshed for our appraisal by the Council."
"Yes, my Master," Obi-Wan acquiesced with a soft sigh. He picked up their meditation mats, stowed them away and headed rather reluctantly to the refresher as ordered.
A short time later found both men showered and lying in the respective beds staring at the ceiling. His Masterly resolve aside, Qui-Gon found it impossible to still his mind enough to sleep. He could feel echoes of Obi-Wan's unrest along their expanded connection and fought the desire to go and comfort the younger man. The decision was taken from him a short time later as he caught sight of the muscular form leaning heavily in his doorway. "Come to me, Obi-Wan," he said softly.
Obi-Wan was kneeling beside his Master's bed in a flash. "I'm sorry, Master. I know I should be stronger but I need..."
"To be near me," Qui-Gon finished for him. Caressing his cheek, he admitted his own need. "I too find that I do not wish to be separated from you. I think the reason for this ache to be together is twofold. Partially it is the bond within us striving for completion but just as much I believe it is our hearts surging with these newly admitted feelings that we buried for so long." He took a calming breath, slid closer to the wall and lifted the sheet in invitation. The flash in his padawan's eyes made him clarify his intent. "Just to sleep, Obi-Wan. Is your control up to this?"
Pushing back his arousal, he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed. "It will have to be," Obi-Wan replied. Relieved to see that his Master was wearing sleep pants under the sheet, he slid beside him and nestled his head securely under that bearded chin. Pressing a kiss to that warm skin, he whispered, "I love you, Qui-Gon. With all that I am."
"As I do you, my Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon responded. "Now sleep."
The slight Force suggestion along with the security of his Master's embrace was enough to push Obi-Wan into the world of dreams. Qui-Gon breathed in the essence of his padawan, released his remaining anxieties into the welcoming embrace of the Force and drifted off as well.
Obi-Wan tried to fight the soft voice that called him to wakefulness. Never had his dreams been so vivid and he wanted to lose himself in the pleasure that was overtaking him. The warmth of his Master's skin covered his and the musky scent of the man filled his senses. He could even feel a matching hardness lying against his own and he rocked into the blissful sensation of friction. A solid grip on his arms stopped his movements and he wondered why his dream had changed as he forced his eyes open. Mortification came over him as he met the amused/annoyed gaze of his Master. He shifted back from that warm body as memories of last night came back to him. "I'm so sorry... I can't believe...so stupid...." he sputtered in embarrassment. He struggled to rise from the bed but the hands on his arms stopped him.
"Calm down, Padawan," Qui-Gon ordered. Once the younger man had stilled, he decided to go for a touch of his apprentice's subtle humor to diffuse the awkward situation. "I think we would have trouble convincing Master Yoda and the Council that we inadvertently consummated the bond in our sleep."
Embarrassment gave way to a slight smile as Obi-Wan replied curtly. "Since when has the great Qui-Gon Jinn ever considered the wishes of the Council. They would just chalk it up to another example of your defiance."
"Impudent brat," Qui-Gon retorted as he used a slight Force push to send the younger man sprawling to the floor. He rose from the bed and headed to the door. "Go get ready for your classes while I tend to breakfast." Without even a backward glance at the figure on the floor, he headed to the kitchen.
Trying to subdue his throbbing erection, Obi-Wan entered the refresher. He tossed his sleep pants down the laundry chute, adjusted the water to just this side of frigid and stepped under the spray. When even the chilly water was unsuccessful in quelling his reaction to the delightful contact, he sighed in frustration. There was no way he could sit through four hours of classes and the anticipated summons from the Council in his current state. After soaping his palm, he leaned against the shower wall and took himself in hand. Closing his eyes, he allowed the memories to fill him and mentally replaced his own hand with the large, callused one from his many fantasies. In a matter of moments, his completion spilled over his hand and a soft-spoken 'Master' escaped from his lips. Once he regained control of his body, he turned the water to a more agreeable temperature and finished preparing for his day.
Echoes of Obi-Wan's activities flowed across the bond as Qui-Gon prepared their food. His own arousal surged and he found himself unable to completely quell it. He settled for banking it as much as possible for now and concentrated on his chores. After the events of the last two days, his body was unwilling to be ignored any longer. Although unable to have what he truly desired, he could at least give his body a modicum of relief. When Obi-Wan left for his classes, he would follow his apprentice's lead and take matters into his own hand, hopefully for the last time.