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I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie

I had given up with Xanatos' betrayal. It was my fault. I could not be all he desired in a Master. Oh yes, I loved him dearly-like a son. Not a lover. Though not forbidden by the Code, I had no desire to form a relationship with my apprentice. He could not handle my rejection. I wasn't rejecting his love. Just a physical relationship. He was lost to me in the sea of misunderstanding. The will of the Force? Sometimes I wonder…

But no. I had no intention of ever taking another Padawan. I couldn't risk losing another to the Dark, nor could I risk losing my heart. I am thought to be cold and heartless. Behind every mask there is a door. Behind that door, there is an endless black void. I did not see it. I refused to see it. But you did.
 

I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream

I knew when I saw you for the first time that I was lost. Lost to the inevitable will of the Force. Heedless of the voice in my head that told me I could never train another Padawan. Not after Xanatos. I tried to deny it. I did everything in my power to drive you away to another Master. I was willing to let you be lost to the Order….but not to Xanatos. When he intended to kill you, I decided I would die with you as well. We survived though. We survived him and we survived every other trial that has been in our path.
 

And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time's gonna fly
And I'm never gonna tell you
Everything I gotta tell you
But I know I gotta give it a try

My dear Master….Even after all of these years I am still in awe of you. Of your strength, your courage, compassion, intelligence, and your pure heart.

When you first initiated our bond, you let your shields down very briefly. The pain I felt you suffering still even after the years since his betrayal broke my heart. I vowed then and there that I would do everything in my power to ease your pain, even at the risk of my own heart.

I lost it. I lost my heart to you. Sometimes at night you come into my room, keeping watch over me. You don't have to be so strong all the time….

What do I feel for you? I love you, yes, as my Master and as my friend. But what I feel goes beyond that simple love. It is the deep, utter certainty that I have found the answer to a question I have been trying to understand all of my life.

And I know the roads to riches
And I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules
And I know how to break 'em
And I always know the name of the game

I would gladly walk through fire for you, dearest Obi-Wan. I would sacrifice my life so you might live, but I would rather live to make you happy.

When did your happiness become more important than my own? When did your happiness become my happiness?

I have always been thought of as a rebel. Certainly not the type to follow all the Codes without question. But there is one Code I do follow and it is to trust in the Force to show you your own heart.

In your eyes I see myself. And that frightens me yet thrills me more than anything else.
 

But I don't know how to leave you
And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all
I walk two steps behind you. One step to the right. A
subordinate position, yet one I would be glad to stay
in for the rest of my life.

I love you. Master, friend, brother, teacher,….but not lover. Not yet.

It seems I was born loving you. That the stars and the Force gave their blessings when I first opened my eyes. Who knows, maybe I was….

I could never leave you and I hope I never reach the point where I want to, or have to. I will be a Knight someday, but you will always be my Master.

My Qui-Gon.

Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun
Are streaming through the waves in your hair
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes
Like a spotlight

When you run out in the fields in a rare moment of play during your last days as a Padawan, I cannot help but smile. I see not only the man and the Knight you have and will become, but a young tow-headed toddler running out of the Creche, a ten year old wrecking havoc in the Temple, a thirteen year old demanding if what I had said was true.I see all you were and all you are and I love you more for it. I thank you for these trying years for they have been the best years of my life.

The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost
And it's looking for a rhythm like you
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright

I see you watching me and my friends as we gather as Padawans together for the last time. You are smiling. Your smiles, once so rare, are so abundant now. Your hugs and laughter are gifts to me. I don't know how I'm going to stand the ending of our training bond. Will another take its place?

Furthermore, will someone take my place?

I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know
Well it's nothing till I give it to you

"Never." That word was spoken with fierce determination.

"Master?" Obi-Wan asked, sounding puzzled.

Qui-Gon repeated, "Never. No one will ever be able to take your place, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "You…heard that?"

Qui-Gon reached out and pulled Obi-Wan to him in a crushing hug. "How could you think someone would ever be able to replace you, my Obi-Wan." Fool! He thought to himself.

Obi-Wan looked up at his Master. Surprise and, was that hope in his eyes?

I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock
I can make tonight forever
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn
I can make every promise that has ever been made
I can make all your demons be gone

"You've never called me that before, Qui-Gon." He sounded somewhat bemused.

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow. "You rarely call me Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan."

Time stopped for the two of them. Qui-Gon noticed (not
for the first time) how soft Obi-Wan's hair looked,
how trusting his eyes were. He looked behind the trust
and respect he had always known and found…

"Love."

"I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn. I have always loved you. I will always love"--- Obi-Wan was abruptly silenced by Qui-Gon's mouth on his.

But I'm never gonna make it without you
Do you really want to see me crawl
And I'm never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all

"I love you too, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon whispered many hours later as he lay with his Padawan firmly anchored in his arms. A murmur of contentment reached him through their Bond.

"Always, Master?"

"Always."