Master
Apprentice  Archive
Opposite Truths #4: A Failure of Fate
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Series: Fourth and last story in "Opposite Truths" which includes
Archive: M_A. Anyone else, just ask
Category: POV, Angst
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Not really.
Summary: Conclusion of the series that began with "A Change of Season."
Warnings: Angst.
Disclaimers: Not mine, no money changed hands, don't sue, all in fun, etc.
Feedback: Are you kidding? All comments, complaints, suggestions and questions will be given undue attention. Seriously, I would love to hear what you think.
Notes: Once more, I offer up thanks to my beta Gloriana Reginata, tamer of wild sentences and remover of overzealous commas. This story, and this series, would have been far poorer without her comments and help.
The opposite of a small truth is a falsehood. The opposite of a profound truth may very well be another profound truth. --Neils Bohr
Waking was like being pulled through a doorway too narrow to accept his passage; slow and painful, with the dread of getting stuck halfway and the feeling of having left bits of essential self behind.
All he was certain of was a profound sense of wrongness. This was not, he was sure, where he was meant to be.
He struggled when they pulled him out of the warm, cushioning liquid into the unforgiving chill of air. The pain that lanced through his chest nearly threw him into a panic, but a familiar hand was wiping his eyes clear, and a trusted voice was murmuring gentle reassurance. He slept again.
Time passed strangely, stretched or tangled like bits of string, but when he opened his eyes it was to the familiar, sterile white walls and mechanical whispering that signaled an infirmary the galaxy over. With the pain in his chest as memory aid, he began to realize where he was and where he should have been.
The wave of relief that rose was acknowledged, allowed to pass through him, and then forgotten.
Reflex made him reach out along the bond he shared with his apprentice, and he felt Obi-Wan's fiery presence nearby, but banked, telling Qui-Gon he was asleep.
His last memory was of the devastated eyes of his padawan. He'd been dying, he was sure of it, and had felt the Force surrounding him, ready to welcome him into its boundless light.
He did not need an explanation as to what had happened instead. He could feel the residual traces of Obi-Wan's aura in his mind. Obi-Wan had done this. Defied the Force, willfully, knowingly, as no Jedi should. He could, weak as he was, feel the shock waves of Obi-Wan's choice rippling through the Force even now.
The strength of it astonished him, horrified him. Nothing in this Universe could be untouched.
Qui-Gon slipped the knife through the braid in one swift motion, cutting the physical tie even as he severed the mental bond. Then Obi-Wan was stepping away, leaving him with only the long cord of hair in his hand, and the unavoidable mental rawness of a broken bond.
As ritual demanded, Obi-Wan went to kneel before the Council members. Qui-Gon tucked the braid into a pocket as he watched the final phase of the simple ceremony. The braid, tradition said, was his by right.
He listened to Yoda intone the ancient words of welcome, and then it was over. The new knight stood, and well-wishers surrounded him. Strange, Qui-Gon thought, how many there were. On Coruscant, the ceremony would have been attended by all of Obi-Wan's friends and peers, but here the only Jedi were the councilors who had come when Obi-Wan had reported the death of the Sith. Yet there were many others attending. Naboo; some of whom he recognized--Panaka, the queen's attendants, Ric Olie--but others whom he did not recall, probably the pilots Obi- Wan had freed and come to know while Qui- Gon was in Mos Epsa. Obi-Wan had always made friends easily--sometimes too easily, Qui-Gon had once thought, and he smiled faintly as he remembered Guerra, who had been his first experience with this double-edged tendency of his padawan's.
He shook himself from his reminiscences as the sound of Yoda's gimer stick rapping on the floor silenced the small crowd.
"Good this is. Much the Naboo have to celebrate. But first, one more matter there is before we finish." The crowd stirred a little in surprise, but then settled down immediately.
Mace Windu went to stand by Yoda's side and then the rest of the councilors joined them, forming a semi-circle as they had during Obi-Wan's knighting ceremony.
"Master Jinn, Anakin Skywalker," Windu pronounced. Qui-Gon, who had not moved since he cut Obi-Wan's braid, took a step forward and looked around for Anakin, who was beside the Queen. At Qui-Gon's nod, the boy scampered over to stand by him.
Qui-Gon knew what was to come. After waking just a few hours earlier, he had spoken to Yoda about the Council's change of mind and the necessity to create a bond with Anakin as quickly as possible. It was this urgency which had resulted in Obi- Wan's knighting here rather than at the Temple, as no Master could have more than one bond at a time.
"The Council," Windu was saying, "has agreed that you, Master Jinn, may take Anakin Skywalker as your padawan learner. You may begin to create a training bond." Qui-Gon bowed, and Anakin copied him. For the first time, Windu's eyes turned to rest on the boy. He inclined his head slightly. "Padawan Skywalker."
Anakin looked surprised, then glanced up at Qui-Gon as if asking whether that was all it took. Qui-Gon nodded, smiling slightly at the boy. Anakin glanced back at the Council members a bit suspiciously, but Yoda was rapping his cane again, signaling an end to the formalities. A murmur of conversation rose up in the room, and Qui-Gon's eyes swept around, looking--. He felt a tug on his robe.
"Master Qui-Gon, sir, I'm your apprentice now? You can teach me to be a Jedi?"
Qui-Gon knelt beside the boy so he could look into his eyes. "Yes, Ani. You are my padawan now."
"Like Obi-Wan was? Wizard! Can I go tell Padme?"
"I think the Queen already knows, Ani, but certainly, you may go and speak to her."
The boy ran off, his assured voice clearly audible across the room as he answered congratulations. Qui-Gon caught the queen's eye, and she nodded to him before turning her attention to the boy practically bouncing with excitement by her side. Anakin in safe hands, Qui-Gon searched the room again, looking for the familiar cropped reddish hair and listening for the sound of the unmistakable accent. Without the bond, it took him a few minutes to realize that Obi-Wan had already gone.
It was some time later that he found Obi- Wan, sitting, knees drawn up, by the edge of one of the many small reflection pools in the palace gardens.
Beyond the ritual of the knighting ceremony, he had not spoken to or even seen Obi-Wan since he had woken, and part of Qui-Gon wanted simply to gather up the boy into his arms. But he'd been Obi-Wan's teacher first and foremost.
Before he could collect his thoughts to speak, Obi-Wan's voice surprised him, sounding quiet and strangely disembodied as it drifted across the water, and then was carried back to him on a slight hint of breeze. "I am almost surprised you did not tell Master Yoda not to knight me, Master. But if you did that, who would train Anakin?"
Qui-Gon felt a flare of surprise. As though he could still sense Qui-Gon's emotions, Obi-Wan said lightly, "You were not shielding when you woke, and I don't sleep that deeply. You were quite upset."
Qui-Gon was silient a moment. In truth, those thoughts had occurred to him. Both of them. As gently as he could, he said, "The Force set a Trial on your path, and you failed, Obi-Wan."
"I failed?" A pause and the sound of a quick inhalation. "Perhaps. From a certain point of view." The words might have been insolent, but the tone was too quiet.
Qui-Gon sighed. "You saw my vision at the last. You know what the Force intended. You defied its will, Obi-Wan." There was no greater sin for a Jedi.
Obi-Wan's voice floated back to him, unperturbed. "Whose will did I defy? Perhaps you misunderstood what you saw. I opened my mind to the Council. They do not agree with you that I did anything wrong."
Qui-Gon could not quite control the flare of temper. Harshly, he said, "But you did not misunderstand my interpretation of the vision! You deliberately--."
"You would rather be dead than wrong?" Obi-Wan's beautifully trained voice cut like a knife. "Why, my master, is it so beyond the realm of conception that you could be wrong? Wrong about the meaning of your vision, wrong about your blind faith that that boy is some kind of savior, wrong about ignoring the danger everyone else seems to sense, that hangs around him like a death shroud --"
"Padawan!" In their years together, that disapproving tone was the greatest punishment Qui-Gon had found to inflict on his padawan and it stopped the rush of words.
There was a long moment of tense silence. Then Obi-Wan inclined his head, although his back was still toward Qui-Gon. "I apologize. For my disrespect. But I am not your padawan any longer." Obi-Wan rose in one smooth movement, but still he did not turn. "The Council has ordered me to accompany then back to Coruscant tonight. What will you do?"
"Anakin and I will stay on Naboo for a while. I need to build a training bond with him before I can take him back to the Temple."
Obi-Wan turned to face him at last. Qui- Gon was not sure what he had been expecting to see, but when he looked past the smooth, unreadable countenance to the changeable eyes, he found Obi-Wan's gaze as still as the pool behind him. Quiet, steady, and unrevealing.
Chest aching, Qui-Gon opened his mouth to speak and then shut it. There was nothing to say. They understood each other perfectly and did not understand each other at all. Instead, he stepped forward and drew Obi-Wan into his arms as he had wanted to at the start. He simply held him in silence. Despite the warm body which was pressing close, a small mournful voice in his mind murmured, /I can't feel him./ Their bond was gone.
Silence enveloped them, and it seemed even the far-off rush of the great waterfalls had quieted. Obi-Wan's cheek rested against Qui-Gon's chest, but at a careful distance from the place where the red saber had pierced flesh. Obi-Wan whispered, "I wish--" He fell silent.
Qui-Gon held him closer for a moment before letting him go. When he began to walk away, Obi-Wan's eyes had already turned back to watch the surface of the pool, as though to capture the reflection of that stillness forever in his eyes.