Author's Note: My Muse does this to me. Seriously.
Archive: Master & Apprentice, ask me if you want it
elsewhere.
Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan
Rating: PG-13, just for reference to activity.
Category: Humour, Parody.
Warnings: Very strange description of my life here. That's
about it.
Spoilers: Yeah right. None at all.
Feedback: Yes please! Engelhasse@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan Kenobi or Qui-Gon Jinn. God
Lucas does, and everyone should pay homage to him for their
creation, but realize how much he didn't figure out about
them...
"TENPL'! Get your bloody lizard off the computer!" the
too-skinny young woman yelled. A remorseful black mop of hair
swung slowly away from the huge gallery of Obi-Wan Kenobi
pictures on the wall of the living room. He moaned softly, as
if to draw his gaze from the grand collage would cause him
unendurable agony. "Must I?" he whimpered, the corners of his
eyes filling with his pupils straying to the figure pasted on
the wall in multitude.
"Yes you must," she sighed in general irritation. The iguana, a
Beanie Baby named Iggy, began levitating as the shaggy, dark
form of Tenpl' mournfully closed his eyes. "Stupid Jedi," the
woman glared, watching Tenpl' arch an amused eyebrow in
response.
Once the iguana had come to rest on the floor, Tenpl''s eyes
shot open as riveted again on the wall. The woman fingered her
braid, and asked, "Tenpl', why do you insist on staring at the
wall when Obi-Wan is always here anyway?" He mumbled, not
turning to look at her, "Because that'd be rude. Especially
since Master Jinn is always here too."
She shot another glare at him, then winced as a blast of Ricky
Mart'n music came pouring out of the bedroom at an unspeakable
volume. She muttered a string of colorful curses in German, and
then deduced, "Hmph. Obi-Wan is awake." She looked sadly at the
small pile of blankets that she had slept on last night. The
Jedi had taken over her bedroom.
She stormed the two feet into the bedroom, and saw a gleefully
grinning young Jedi nodding his head to the first track on the
disc. "OBI-WAN! Turn that down!" she screamed, not noticing
that midway through her sentence he had turned it down, leaving
only her voice to echo in the room. She blushed quickly, and
scowled at him, sitting in the middle of the wrecked bed. The
sheets were more likely on the floor than on the bed, and he
was just a tangle of the blankets that had covered the foot of
the bed the last night. The didn't want to start thinking of
exactly how that had happened. A low chuckle sounded from
behind her, and whirled, only to find no one there. She sighed
in disgust, and turned back to Obi-Wan. "Make the bed, you
slept in it," she growled, and stormed off to the tiny kitchen
to make some food.
She managed to find enough rice to make, and set up the rice
cooker and she dug around for her favorite dish of kimch'i. She
had just been down to the local Korean market the day before,
and was dying to open the large jar of kimch'i that she had
bought. She dragged it out of the refrigerator, and put some in
a small bowl for herself, and then scooped out some rice.
Obi-Wan walked into the kitchen, barely dressed, and she forced
her eyes to turn away room the delightful sight.
"Hey, can I try some of that?" he asked cheerfully, and she
shrugged, setting up another bowl for him and setting out some
chopsticks. "How do I use these?" he peered curiously at the
chopsticks. "Let me guess: They don't have anything like that
back on Coruscant?" she grumbled, getting him a fork instead.
"Exactly!" he smiled brightly, ignoring the sarcasm in her
voice.
She began eating the kimch'i, balancing the spicy food with
rice and some juice. She watched Obi-Wan pick up a huge piece
of kimch'i, and smiled. She would have her revenge for his
music this morning. She waited until it was far too late for
his to pull the fork away, and cried out, "No, no! Obi-Wan,
it's far too hot!" He stared at her, chewing unconsciously,
then began gasping for air as the pepper hit his tongue. She
hid a smile, and got him water to drink, only increasing the
pain.
"Sithspawn!" he gasped, and she took pity on him, and
encouraged him to eat some rice while she got him milk. "Thank
you," he gulped, looking suspiciously at her. She smiled sadly,
and shielded herself so he couldn't see her mind running around
with glee in tormenting her fellow Padawan.
//A Jedi does not seek revenge, Mar,// a chiding voice arose
inside her shields. She groaned, and went to the door to let
her Master inside. The tall light-haired older woman smiled
reproachfully at her. "Master Erbyé, what a pleasure it
is for you to join me so early this morning," the young woman
bowed to the older female. Master Erbyé shook her head,
and replied, "A Jedi is not sarcastic either." "Yes, Master,"
Mar nodded, not trying to fight it.
"Have you written anything more?" Master Erbyé inquired,
walking to the computer. Mar shrugged, and answered, "I
wouldn't consider them stories, but they're what you wanted. I
finished the Sith Academy story that you required that I
complete. I think it sucks, but it's done," she turned the
computer on, and opened the files. Master Erbyé wrinkled
her nose at the Sith Academy story. "You are right, it does
suck, but you took the challenge, used all the ideas, except
for...did you include playing quarters?" Master Erbyé
looked at Mar. "No, Master, I was not able to include that in
there," Mar admitted, bringing up another file. "Mar-Al Ekebri,
I told you to complete the exercise. You have not. We will find
another cahllenge for you to finish. Hmm. This one is good.
Send it to that list you're on," Master Erbyé commanded,
and Mar-Al sighed, doing as her Master commanded.
"Mar, where is Master Jinn?" Master Erbyé asked. Mar
looked around and shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe he went out
to the store or something," she stated, not really caring.
Obi-Wan sauntered in to give her advice on his actions in the
story, and she accepted it thankfully, trying desperately to
ignore the Ricky Mart'n music on repeat that was still coming
forth from the bedroom. "I'll talk to him later then," Master
Erbyé decided, and went to the bathroom.
"Mar, the door won't open. Is someone in there?" Master
Erbyé queried, poking her head around the corner. "Why
don't you bloody find out for yourself, use the damned Force!"
Mar grumbled incoherently. Erbyé blinked and asked
politely, "What was that?" Mar smiled brightly at her, and
replied, "I said that I didn't know." Mar got up and dragged
her food from the kitchen in to the computer area so she could
continue eating. Obi-Wan had abandoned his kimch'i for less
dangerous cereal, and so she added his rice and kimch'i to her
own bowls of it, smiling at her favorite food.
"Why, it's Master Jinn!" Master Erbyé called out,
surprised for some reason. Someone snickered from up near the
ceiling, and Mar swung her head around to see who it might be.
She caught a flash of long dark hair and a golden skin color,
but her neck cracked and she whined in pain, healing herself.
She cursed quietly to herself, and then, on a whim, caught
Master Jinn leaving the bathroom as Master Erbyé
entered. Master Jinn looked sheepishly at Mar, and explained,
"It's the only place here that I could concentrate. You are
always moving around, and that distracts me, the kitchen had
too much emotional residue from failed cooking episodes, and I
can't be around Obi-Wan without being distracted..." Mar
nodded, and focused on her work again. Obi-Wan had finished his
cereal, and was returning to the bedroom when he saw Master
Jinn.
Mar peeked around the corner just I time to see Obi-Wan sneak
up behind Master Jinn, and lick at his neck. "Good morning,
Master," Obi-Wan whispered, his Master's reply a groan as they
stumbled into the bedroom. "At least have the decency to close
the door this time!" Mar shouted, and heard the door slam.
A soft laughter arose from behind her, and she turned again to
see a dark, handsome figure sitting in the corner between
ceiling and wall. "Ah, my favorite Muse," she glowered at him.
He smiled sarcastically and answered in kind, "Ah, my dear
Padawan Mar-Al Ekebri. How are you today?" She glanced at him,
and went back to eating her kimch'i, mumbling, "Not so well,
because of the PWP you made me write last night." She made a
rude gesture towards the noisy bedroom, and sighed, "I'm never
going to get those stains out of the sheets, am I?" He shook
his head, and smiled, flipping down from the ceiling to the
floor near the oblivious Tenpl''s back.
"Ah, my friendly writer Mar-Al. When do you get to publicly use
your real name instead of that horrid screen-name that you
chose?" he nearly glistened, with golden sparkles flashing
across his yellow skin. The sun, if there had been any in the
apartment, would have made him a blinding star of his own. "I
happen to like the screen-name I chose. Engels Hasse. It means
the one that is hated by the angels. And I get to use my real
name when I become a Jedi Knight," she retorted. He bit at her
ear and murmured, "How soon will that be?" "Not terribly, I
have no control over my temper and hey!" she complained as he
nipped her jugular vein.
He smiled and began whispering plot ideas into her ear. She
typed some of them out, then pulled away at one he made. "I
really don't think that-" she protested, but her Muse silenced
her. "Just write it," he grinned lazily like a cat, a slow
teeth-baring grin, impossible to fight, spreading across his
face. She sighed, and typed it. A loud moan suddenly sounded
from the occupied bedroom. "Use the Force, Obi-Wan, oh yes!"
Master Jinn groaned. Mar-Al tittered and her Muse behind her
giggled as the two occupants made vague sounds of confusion at
the words, then returned to their previous activity.
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