Master Apprentice Archive Odd Sounds Quick search:

Warnings: unbetaed

Archive: If you want it, it's yours

Feedback: Sure

Spoilers: None

Category: Humor

Summery: Obi-Wan and his armpit sing a song.

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Star Wars isn't mine. No profit is being made from this story.

Notes: THANK-YOU everybody for the wonderful feedback for 'Odd Smells.'

Qui-Gon folded the laundry at the kitchen table. He found the task soothing and relaxing, which was why he did it rather than forcing his apprentice do it. Besides, the boy didn't fold his tunics right.

He looked at the pile of small underwear and socks. Ever since their talk about hygiene, the amount of underwear and socks in the laundry had increased exponentially. And thankfully, there had been no new and mysterious odors emanating from the boy. Now if only he could teach him some table manors.

Chomp. Smack. Crunch. Smack. Crunch. SMACK. Smack. GULP.

Qui-Gon looked over his shoulder. Just as he expected, his apprentice stood behind him, loudly eating an apple.

"Must you eat that next to my ear?"

"Sorry," the boy apologized around a mouthful. He moved to sit at the other side of the kitchen table. He took another loud bite and chewed it loudly, lips smacking periodically. He then swallowed it with an even louder gulp.

"How was your day?" Qui-Gon asked, trying to ignore the sound. Maybe if he ignored it, it would go away.

"Great," Obi-Wan said as he wiped juice from his mouth with the sleeve of his newly washed tunic. "I've been practicing my song and I think I have it perfected."

"Your song? I didn't know you had an interest in music." The Force whispered a warning. It told him not to ask, but Qui-Gon ignored it. It was his masterly duty to show an interest in his padawan's extracurricular activities after all. "May I hear your song?"

Obi-Wan beamed, pleased. "You want to hear it?"

"Sure."

"Bant said that she didn't like it."

"That was rude of her. Let me hear it."

"Okay." Obi-Wan put-down his half eaten apple and unfastened his tunics.

"What are you doing?"

"Preparing," he replied has he placed a sticky hand under his tunics, under his arm. He took a deep breath and then swallowed. "Ready?"

Qui-Gon nodded.

Obi-Wan raised his elbow and brought it down sharply. A fart-like sound was the result.

The boy repeated the movement rhythmically, setting the tempo for his performance. The actual song cosseted of a series of belches that vaguely resembled the Republic's National Anthem.

After what seemed like an eternity, it ended.

"Well? What did you think?" Obi-Wan waited for his master's critique.

"Um...That was very interesting."

"Did you like it?"

"It took coordination to keep your belches in time with the, uh, arm-pit sounds," Qui-Gon evaded the question. "That's quite a talent you have."

"You think so?" Obi-Wan picked up his apple and resumed his loud chewing and lip smacking.

"Yes. Everybody has a special talent."

"Do you think that master Yoda would like to hear it?"

"FORCE NO!" Qui-Gon shouted, then revised his answer at the sight of the boy's fallen expression. "I mean, I'm not sure that Master Yoda would appreciate visitors right now. He's...uh...meditating."

"How about after his meditations?"

"We'll see."

"When will his meditations end?"

"Not for a while yet."

"Oh." Obi-Wan took a last bite of his apple and threw the core into the garbage. BURRRRRRRRP.

"Padawan!"

"Sorry Master. Just a little extra air."

Qui-Gon's reply was cut off by the sound of the door chime. "Get the door."

In typical boy fashion, Obi-Wan raced to the door, jumping over furniture along the way. He opened it, and was surprised to see Yoda.

"Master Yoda!" Obi-Wan greeted. "Did you finish your meditations early?"

Yoda looked confused at the question. Qui-Gon interrupted the response. "To what do we owe to the pleasure of your visit, my master?"

"Return your hydrospaner I have. Very useful it was." The gnome pulled the tool from his robes and handed it to Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan was eager to share his new song with Yoda. He had to ask. "Do you want to hear--"

"Did the 'spanner work all right for you?" Qui-Gon interrupted his padawan, trying to get the boy to shut up.

"Yes. Yes. Very well it did."

"Do you want--" an invisible Force-kick hit him in the shin, effectively shutting him up. "--Yeouch!"

"How was your day, Master?" Qui-Gon asked Yoda in a sugarcoated voice.

"Fine. Fine, it was." Yoda glanced at the Padawan who was now standing on one foot, holding his bruised shin. "Agitated young Obi-Wan seems to be."

"The boy is fine."

"So certain are you?"

"Yes."

"Ask Obi-Wan, shall we not?" Without waiting for an answer, Yoda turned to the boy. "Something to say, have you?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I wanted to show you my song."

"I don't think that will be necessary, Padawan. I'm sure that Master Yoda has a council meeting...or something. Maybe some other time."

"HEMPH!" Yoda banged his gimmer stick against the floor. "Time I have, for a song. Hear it I would like."

Obi-Wan smiled, glad that someone else wanted to hear his song.

Qui-Gon started to massage the bridge of his nose. He wasn't sure weather or not to be embarrassed, apprehensive, or irritated.

Obi-Wan played his 'song,' and Yoda patently waited for it to end.

"Very good, your song was. Your master teach you this?"

"Nope. I learned it all by myself."

"Ask your master you should. Give you pointers he could."

Obi-Wan looked up at his master with equal parts awe and bewilderment. His master could do something cool?

"Many similar songs he played for me, as a padawan. Make many other sounds he can, with or without his armpit. Perhaps a demonstration he could give."

Qui-Gon glared down at the gnome, his face turning red. Yoda didn't seem to notice or care.

Obi-Wan *had* to hear this. "Master, can you--"

"No."

"But--"

"No." Qui-Gon covered his eyes with a hand.

"Please?"

"NO! I think it's time for master Yoda to leave. Say goodbye, padawan."

"Bye, master Yoda."

"Hemph. Rude you are, Qui-Gon." Yoda shuffled towards the door. "Worry not, young Obi-Wan. Holo-vid recordings I have. Show it to you I will."

Qui-Gon's eyes got big. He'd forgotten about those. Damn. "Is that the Emergency Council Summons Bell I hear?"

"But I don't hear anything, Mast--"

"Listen again padawan," Qui-Gon said in his most imitating voice. He glared at the boy. "I think you may be mistaken."

Obi-Wan cringed. "Um, yes. I, uh, hear it too."

"Go now I must." Yoda hobbled out the door. Qui-Gon could have sworn that he heard the trace of amusement in his voice. And as he shut the door, he thought he heard a chuckle.

The End